I'm not who you think I am...
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- having an identity crisis between Lily and Hevesh5
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🔹Main Channel (Hevesh5) for Domino Art: / hevesh5
🔹H5 Domino Community: / h5dominocommunity
🔸Twitter: / hevesh5
🔸Instagram: / hevesh5
🔸Facebook: / hevesh5
don’t mind me just having an identity crisis while some guy leaf blows next door xD (sorry for the noisy background! if I didn’t keep going I probably wouldn’t have posted so I pushed through). would love to hear your thoughts on this and if you can relate in any way!
I think you are toughest girl on the whole world :)
You at so cool stop deing negitive
I feel the same way online I’m way more friendly but irl I’m more shy
I’m the most introverted person I know.... and I’ve started to come to it recently. I’m scared to do things I might not be able to do because I feel like everyone is silently watching. My best (and only lmao) friend really understands me and why I am the way I am. We love each other (ok not like a bf and a gf, like we would as brothers) and both feel as if we were really brothers. Until last year, it was like this. Up until this point, I was trying to make friends out of random people around.
This year, we were put into separate classes and see each other barely more than a few minutes a day and all of my other friends had graduated and left. I tried to reach out, but they’re all either too busy, or they don’t want to make time for me anymore. This scared me, because I didn’t want to lose my last friend when I graduated. I’ve started spending more time by myself alone, and barely even talk to people in the same room as me.
I
I can relate to this alot and I hope u get through it too I'm here for u anytime
We all do what we have to do become the confident and successful people that we want to be. Ive always been introverted, reserved and had a decent amount of social anxiety. But i knew deep down i wanted to do something to force that social anxiety into the background of my personality. So i moved to China and became a teacher (an idea that would have horrified me a few years ago) and while the first couple months were a stressful hell i eventually adapted to it, met my amazing girlfriend and life since has been what i actually wanted it to be like.
I love this story. sometimes pushing yourself to do something out of your comfort zone is the best thing you can ever do. Good for you :)
Self-awareness is a good thing. Parts of ourselves need to stay private so that we can feel comfortable within ourselves. It's okay to have a public face that does not have to include everything that we are. You're just fine the way you are.
Wise words, thank you
@@BehindThe5 I Agree With You!
whoop, got a cameo with a confused tweet.
I totally understand being consumed by a UA-cam channel. During the past couple years, I have created other spaces for myself including off-UA-cam.
Hi 👋 I think 🤔 Lilly needs Heavish and Heavish needs Lily.
“You can’t have one without the other” This video was rather deep and well thought 💭 out, good job....👍🏼🌸🌈
It's a common misconception, that everyone needs to be an extrovert, or at least pretend to be. Extroverts are good sales persons, but without us introverts they have nothing to sell. People do actually appreciate us, who speak only when we have something to say. Being an introvert doesn't mean that we don't like to talk to people and be in growds, it just means that it takes energy and we need to get to be alone to charge, while for extroverts being in growds is the buzz, and being alone is the difficult thing. Don't let your stage persona dominate, boldly be yourself in a way that feels good for you.
The world is built around extroverts.
Especially in your country to be honest.
For my brother moving to korea was a great solution.
Some cultures are less extrovert.
_
For me the choice to become an animator was a great solution.
On the animation academy I met many introvert animators.
With them I can be myself :)
-
It's not you. It's your environment.
So change your environment.
_
And start loving people again :)
I've never thought about some cultures being more extroverted than others. I am happy I read that comment because I want to have other people discuss it.
That's interesting - I've never been to that part of the world but would love to visit sometime and experience such a culture like that.
I can totally relate. Interesting people are not one-dimensional, we have many faces and facets. It makes life more interesting for us. Using one aspect of our personality is not being untrue to our other aspect(s); our true selves are an amalgamation of all of us. True friends will understand. And so will we, eventually.
"True friends will understand. And so will we, eventually." So true. I gotta remember that one.
I want to comment but I don’t know what to comment...Lol
Lol
Same
Hi Lily/Hevesh5! I just found your channel last night and oh my gosh I am so hooked on your beautiful creations with Dominos! I just subbed to your other channels too, you are an incredible person! Please don't ever lose sight of Lily, you are such a lovely person and it is ok to have 2 different personas. We all have to wear a mask, if you will, when we go out and socialize (go to work). I am a true introvert but when I got to work I have to turn on my social butterfly persona and it can be exhausting. I would rather stay home and watch your incredible videos than talk to people. LOL You are so intelligent, talented, wise and amazing! What you have created with as Hevesh5 is so admirable. Thank you for sharing behind the scenes and for showing us who you are. I have huge respect and admiration for you and love your honesty. Keep up the amazing work and stay true to yourself, always!
"I'm not who you think I am..."
Alright, let's hear about the meth addiction.
XD 😂 Seriously? That’s pretty funny, but let’s see what Lily thinks about your comment first.
How I see it: the world is built FOR extroverts, but built BY introverts. Introverts have more influence than people think.
The comparision between lily and hevesh 5 was the best part
I also have a common thing that i am more interested in dominoes rather than school but it is very important
You're very young still and as you have more life experiences and time goes by you'll continue to learn about who you are as a person. It's good that you are aware of your identity, you are one person with different facets of your personality my dear. You seem chill and a cool girl...live life and everything will fall into place. You'll continue to develop and change. We all do in 5, 10, 20 years you'll see the changes even if it's minimal but you'll discover who you are...this is just the beginning. LILY you're a cool girl you can be however you want when you want...you're human - don't overthink it ok? lol. Good video! My family and I love you're videos...you're very talented and super chill which is why we watch...because of you Lily aka Hevesh5 : )
Aw thank you for such a kind comment. Haha yeah I need to stop overthinking but I guess that's just what I do xD I think I'm okay with accepting that there are different sides of myself. Everyone has these sides and changes slightly depending on who they are talking to: a friend, a parent, a stranger, co-worker, etc. If we all were the same to everyone, it would not seem acceptable given the social enviornment.
Is "And I need to think of a new outro" your outro. lol :)
Yup, it's been the same since the beginning.
yep
@@BehindThe5 lol
Man, that’s honesty hard. Balancing who your work personality is and who your regular life personality is no easy task. It takes courage to share this difficult dilema on UA-cam. I appreciate your openness to the community!
you should go back to pats peak.
that was a great video.
Just be the real you...Even if it means less clicks. less revenue. less likes. Life's too short living to please others.
But to please others will also please one's self. The best thing is to find a healthy balance. Optimizing life to please others isn't good, but optimizing life to please yourself isn't good either.
As long as we take that into account I fully agree with you :D
But Hevesh5 I watch some of your Domino Videos they we’re Amazing 😉 because I’m a huge fan of you and I love ❤️ your Videos and I love you 😍 to and it’s because I never met you in Real Life because I Live in USA 🇺🇸 and I live in a Country called Lexington KY and I don’t know 🤷♂️🤔 what Country do you Live Hevesh5 and I wish you and your Friends 👬👭 and your Family could come over to Lexington KY so that I can show all of you Guys my High School 🏫 and some Schools 🏫 that I use to go and my Friends 👬👭 and my Family to also
Lexington is a city, not a country. You're in the same country as Lily, but far enough away that you would fly if you go to Boston where she is.
Woah that was deep! 😃
If you haven't already, I recommend reading Quiet by Susan Cain. Helped me learn a lot about myself and embrace my introvertedness
I've been recommended this quite a lot... will definitely add it to the list!
She has a Ted talk too. ua-cam.com/video/c0KYU2j0TM4/v-deo.html
I can relate when I was younger.
Your honesty and self awareness is really impressive. It sounds in part that you are trying to work out how your UA-cam identity, your professional identity, and your personal identity overlap and don't. I don't have any instant solutions for you, but I do know it took a while for me to work out my professional identity and my personal one, that they should - or could - be different, and that sometimes that was down to my choice and sometimes down to the pressures of others. I think your awareness of this is a great sign that you're making and will continue to make conscious decisions of how much of each of your lives - personal, professional, UA-cam - you want to share at each level.
I appreciate all you've said. You're right that it will take time to figure things out. Thinking about this now, I do think that my personal vs. professional identities SHOULD be different. I think the problem with being a UA-cam creator though is that people think that my videos ARE me, because they don't see me as a "professional at work" and instead just a girl making videos (not trying to discredit myself, but I think most people when watching videos assume that this person is actually how they are in real life)
Lily why don't you take some time off from UA-cam
But also u are cool
I think many, likely most people, have similar challenges balancing or even understand the multiple sides to themselves. It is very natural to go through what you have just shared, but most don’t articulate it so it can often feel like we/you are the only one going through it. Most people have a public and a private self, sometimes several versions depending on the situation, put don’t have the complicating aspect of also being a public figure like you are because of your UA-cam channel.
very true. most people don't talk about these things so we feel like we're the only ones going through it, but in reality we all do to an extent. I'm just glad that this video could open up a discussion to talk about this subject. adding the UA-cam/public figure aspect definitely adds another layer of confusion when part of me wants to be 100% real, but part of that may not align the best with getting people into dominoes in a fun and engaging way
For myself. My fox self tries to be me and I try to be my fox self. My crisis is more confusing than you would think.
I want to meet you one day and when I do I wanna meet Lily aight ;)
noted :) hopefully we are in an environment where I can be Lily. I'm sure we'll meet at some point, officialsillypoo
Identity crisis comes and goes like the moon and the ocean waves. It'll pass. They'll figure out who you are and what work you've put in, gl
really you are pretty
Don't worry too much about it. As you get older you will feel more confident being Lily and the two parts will blend together. It is fascinating to self examine, you really can learn a lot about yourself by observing your behavior as a third person. You have been very successful and still remain humble, which is quite admirable. Stay sweet and don't lose your introspective curiosity!
I 100% relate to this! FCDad is not Paul, and Paul is not FCDad. But they both long to be the other person. I know the feelings hard core!
It's good to know someone else can relate, especially as another UA-camr!
Every up has a down 👍😎👍
🕊🙏🕊🙏🕊🙏🕊
God gives us Strength
🙏😌🙏😌🙏😌🙏
Thank you for your thoughts 💭 I really enjoyed hearing from where you coming from in 2 lives, keep being yourself and hopefully one day that your everyday you become your other half.
We are all get tie up in this world and lose our inner life with the other part of us. Great video and keep up the great work.
Liily! It's so fun to see the person behind the channel! (My kids are huge fans of yours by the way). I just had to comment on your video. I don't really ever think of Lily or Hevesh 5 as being separate entities. I truly do think, "Lily created Hevesh5". It is a balancing act for sure. I would highly recommend you learn more about Jack Johnson - completely unapologetically introverted, struggled with his passion taking over, and then stayed true to his introverted self by doing things his own way. He briefly touches on this.
ua-cam.com/video/xAd4FUljDhA/v-deo.html
And when I say he does things his way, he truly does things his way. He made his own record company so he could put out music however and whenever he wanted so he could prioritize his famliy, requires venues he plays at to adhere to strict environmentally responsible practices, and the list goes on and on. It sounds like you're "coming out" as an introvert, which is really really cool. You're doing great and this challenging, stressful process you are experiencing will be a cherished moment in your life if you choose it to be. We will always love you Lily!
That's pretty much what being an introvert is for all of us. It doesn't mean we are not social or good with people. It just means that being social takes energy, whereas an extrovert gets energy from it. Being an introvert is a blessing, really. We can get a lot done on the times we are alone, because that's when we are most comfortable and gain energy. As long as we are not required to be constantly interacting with others, it's just fine. For you it is just more extreme than for most, because your work is very public. It's a common but false thought that being an introvert is a dicease that needs to be cured. First of all, you can't change what you are. And second, introverts are really needed. The world does not function without us. We are great!
That is why you must devour lily's soul and become havesh 5 much like the character in the book/movie the red dragon. The character eats that picture of the dragon....ok I forgot why he did that...oh yeah because he was a crazy murderer dude. Anywsy love your dominoes you seem like a cool kid.
Stop referring to yourself in third person it is always weirdno exceptions. Read a couple of thomas harris novels they are pretty cool although I didn't like red dragon as much but Hannibal was awesome. Keep making dominoes art it's rad and fun your still a kid.
Hello Lily - my 7 year old son has become a huge fan of yours...we are trying to create videos to send you, with a lot of fails. I know it would mean the world to him...and me, if he could connect with you personally. I know you’re busy, but if you have the time... his name is Lief and is awesome and fully into domino chain reactions...gets frustrated a lot. Would love to connect with you. Thank you for your time.
Hey lilly dont worry i am the same situation as you no one in school is found of me dont talk to me but when i get to dominoes everyone likes me then when i become a domino person and hevesh5 you got to talk some time of dominoes and talk to Lilly perhaps by meditation. I love you lilly and hevesh5 . I think lilly is the one who designs hevesh5 ' s domino setups in a creative way and hevesh5 builds it and does the social media work when see topples it and tallks to domino builders around the world.
Hello Lily, thanks for sharing about this topic! I think it's also important to acknowledge the way we feel on how the world sees us. I relate when you talk about not being heard b/c people don't expect that from you when you're being Lily.
The best piece of advice I can give is let the people who really care about you know the real you and that's expressing both Lily and Hevesh. Yup. I think both Lily and Hevesh are compatible to each other, they need each other. They shouldn't be compared or try to overcome the other. Both are unique in their own way and they should be celebrated for that. Sure, most of the times Lily can get the short end of the stick when it comes to interacting with others but I'm sure there's many things Lily does great at that Hevesh falls short on. Don't think Hevesh would be the same without Lily balancing her.
Would be happy to catch a convo with you sometime! Have you've heard about a guy name Thomas Sanders? He's also a youtuber and he's touched about this identity topic and he's kind of celebrated the idea of having more than one personas! He calls them Sanders Sides, if you'll like to check it out sometime!
"I'm sure there's many things Lily does great at that Hevesh falls short on. Don't think Hevesh would be the same without Lily balancing her." - That's a really interesting concept that I haven't thought of, but indeed very true. Every day I'm learning it's okay to have different sides. I've actually met Thomas Sanders - he's super talented and honestly such a genuinely nice guy. I'll have to check out Sanders Sides sometime. Thanks for the recommendation.
I am in Australia. Is there dominoe events here?
I see, both of you like food speaking of food...
P.s. i am hungry
Being older I have accepted that my work persona. The outgoing extrovert that leads the meetings and gains buy in and talks to everyone is not really me but I am good at it. When I get away from work I am fine talking to no one. One time I think I told some Co workers at a work function. “It’s fun to get together at work now and then but honestly if we all lived in the same city I would never invite anyone over for a bbq.” I didn’t mean it to be negative , just an explanation that I separate my home life completely from work. I have very few core friends and even then I kinda just want to be alone or with family. It’s crazy when the world sees you one way but you are sometimes happier as the opposite. You don’t have to reconcile it. I know that people like will ferrel or Steve Martin or Jim Carrey arent crazy jokers all the time and most likely they are the opposite. They can turn on the personality when needed and maybe sometimes they just say no. Leave me alone today. So you don’t have to merge Hevesh 5 with Lilly. You really don’t. You can be both and those close to you will understand when you need to switch off and on from one to the other. I hope that makes sense. Just find your balance. Be you when you need to be you.
Coincidentally, I know someone who went to Boston University (BU), BU makes shirts that say "Be You," and Lily is in or near Boston.
That makes perfect sense. Thank you, Chris. I appreciate that.
I'm so glad you shared all of this. I've been dealing with a similar situation in my life, reverting back to being a quiet and calm personality or trying to be outgoing and more upfront. We used to talk in high school sometimes and I always had a feeling that you were similar to me in terms of being quiet and reserved. I loved talking to you though! You are great on either side, Lily or Hevesh5. It's hard to figure out who we are in this noisy and busy world we are in.
Glad to know I'm not the only one going through a situation like this. Sometimes it's hard to know when to just be ourselves or when to be more outgoing. Do we stop fronting it and let people see who we actually are or do we work at being more extroverted and becoming the improved version of ourselves that we secretly want to be? It's a big question to answer. Thanks, Devin. It was always good talking to you too, and I hope you are doing well!
I like share more videos because i am somebody the dimino is finished
Are You A Gemini Because This Seems Kinda Two Faced?
Holy cow! College?! I thought you were 15! Truly!
I watched your oldest videos when i was a kid :)
So does that mean you don’t play dominoes anymore
Oh so that’s why you fit in with Steve
Nice this video vlog 😍 love
hevesh 5 cani just ask a question
Am so confused right now
Summary : Lily is confused that is she Hevesh 5 or Lily Hevesh. Well I think she is Domino builder 😁. BTW anyone still remembers #notificationsquad ?
#notificationsquad
😅
People aren't who we think they are. We see so little of anyone's life, and with this limited information often make faulty assumptions about their life, and what kind of person they really are. Sometimes we are pleasantly surprised when we learn more about who someone is; sometimes we are disappointed.
Often we project an image of ourselves that is not true to who we are. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we do things that aren't “who we are” because they will make us become the person we want to be. So when Lily wants to be more like Hevesh5, or vice versa, you stretch yourself to grow into the person that you want to be and to accomplish the things you would like to do.
I think an important purpose of this life is to become the person we truly want to be. The person we become in this life is, in my religious/philosophical view, the person we'll be in the next life. So it's critical for us to grow, and stretch ourselves. Become the person you genuinely want to be, the person that will make you truly the most happy. But don't make your goal to be the person you think people want you to be.
Seeing you talking to the camera with no overediting, just you saying what you want is very to watch, just see who you are behind the channel
Waiting to see more content here
You really cool
Hi crushh..😆
We all have different facets to our personality. Every single one of us. We all deal with the same struggle of who am I really(?). This is what happens to people with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder. These facets get closed off and become separated from each other and each "takes over" in different situations. I hope this helps you understand what your feeling. Your normal.
This video has SO MANY good points!
I just have a question. Will you do dominoes as your CARRIER like Hevesh5 or will you be chill as Lily?
Great vlog! As always... I love you 😁
I'm a Producer which means I'm part project management, part talent management. It means keeping people connected, keeping people communicating with one another even if their communication styles or values are sometimes pretty different. A lot of my success comes from what I call "The Show": always happy, always bouncing from setbacks, and man that takes all my energy. It's not "me", that guy loves chillin' out, spending time with one or two good friends or just by myself reading a book. I'm with you. You can manage both, but have to jealously guard your recharge time. It's especially tough when the thing that gets recognition and praise is the thing that drains your bank, and I'm still getting it sorted.
Life knocks you down, you can always get back up
It's moment's like this, people you can count on
You always have to be the best capable of yourself,
You always manage to say the right things, do the right things, be the right thing,
Saying that you rarely talked and talked quiety and people could be unaware of you is how I was.
Among the UA-camrs I watch are two pairs of people I won't name who do many of the same things, but the people in each pair are alike each other and opposites from the other pair in many ways. For example, one pair are germaphobes, and the other pair ran a tough mudder.
Sounds like Hevesh5 is your public persona that you put out on UA-cam and elsewhere, whereas Lily is your private persona that only a select few know. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you try to stay grounded and somehow make time for yourself.
This was very relaxing to watch. I never saw you or heard of you until UA-cam showed me one of your domino videos today, which was really cool. And, in this one, you are authentic. I like your personality.
In my experience in life, there have been only several people-small numbers of family members, friends, and a girlfriend-with whom I’ve had a relationship in which we not only know each other privately, including the embarrassing, lazy, or even selfish parts of ourselves, but also accept and like all these things about each other. This can’t be faked, and it’s one of the best things in life.
I just discover your domino videos and you are amazing. And Lily is also amazing ! Your both you are ! Thanks and ❤
Kinda reminds me of Bruce Banner and the Hulk, I think eventually all aspects of your personality will merge into one persona! 😃👍🏻👊🏻
can i
Hevesh5 is your brand, where you have to be "on," but Lily is the person behind the brand and who you can really be when you're with your nearest and dearest :) great video. Thanks for sharing and I'm sure a lot of people can relate :)
I can totally relate sometimes the person we try to make it seem we are isn't who we really wanna be. When I transferred to a new High school some years ago I wanted to stay true to myself. Most people there were not my type of person and I tried really hard to be at least a little social in class and get good grades (It was only for 2 more years so I thought I would just wait it out). Although I made some really good friends there, in hindsight it was not really me who was walking around in that school. I only realized this recently when I was having a heart-to-heart with an old friend from that school. She said to me that she really looked up to my, I had good grades, seemed really confident and had a decently long relationship at the time. Although happy that I apparently had inspired her in a though time, that person really wasn't me. This "persona" I had was kinda draining and I was really lucky to have a place where I could be the real me among people.
Although really different then "putting on a mask" for millions of people I do relate to the struggle. The most important thing is just stay true to yourself and (as you say) if people can't deal with the real you they don't need to be in your life. A saying we have here that I really like (It's a bit cheesy but hey) "Just be yourself, there already enough other people"
Good luck, I hope you find an outlet (through friend or this channel) remind you who the real you is
In my eyes you are super cute, successful and FUN. Even if you are 1% of what I see you're great! Thanks for opening up to us.
Go you for sharing this. ✨Sending you good vibes✨ and I hope that you find a balance 🙏🏻🔥🙏🏻
Vhat
I think what you are going through is incredibly normal. We all kinda put on a persona when we are out in the world with colleagues and aquaintances. Some of us more than others to for lack of a better term fit in. But it doesnt always feel authentic either.
With people who know us really well it feels safer and easier to be ourselves, quieter more in our head because our loved ones and closest friends accept us as we are without judgement or expectations
Oh, I have so much to say about it, I'm not really sure where this comment will go, but we'll see.
Lily (yes, I'm talking mainly to Lily, for Hevesh5 some of it might be useful too, but I'm addressing Lily specifically), I'll start about the sheer fact of - how to say it - splitting into two people. I think, it's a completely normal phenomenon. Every person wears different masks in different situations. Hevesh5 must be always smiling and extroverted, because she's an entrepreneur, and she has to - let's call it quite brutally - sell herself to other people. You, Lily, on the other hand, may be rather introverted and shy. And that's absolutely not bad.
I understand you a lot, that you have a need to be recognized and appreciated by the society. I also crave for attention, quite often too much. It might be just because as a kid and teenager I didn't need it, and then it hit, as if it was trying to make up for the lost time. But, well, such desperation doesn't usually end well, so I'm constantly working on it.
And your true self? I think, you're really some kind of superposition of Lily and Hevesh5, but your true self lays much closer to Lily. It seems so mainly because of what you say - that being Hevesh5 requires you to put some energy, so the Lily state seems to be the ground state (saying a bit thermodynamically ;) ). But, well, I don't really know you, so who am I to judge?
Finishing, I'd like to thank you for these vlogs, where you talk on difficult topics. This lets to know you more. And I must say, Lily, that I'd really love to get to know you more. You must be an absolutely amazing person (I'm quite sure I've said it at least a couple of times in the comments to other videos). I'll be waiting for next videos, where you talk about yourself, and, well, if you'd like to share your thoughts in any other way, I'd absolutely love to hear from you :)
Yes, you're right that my true self lays much closer to Lily. In my eyes, Lily IS myself. Lily is indeed the ground state haha. Thank you. This channel is a place where I can truly be myself so I do hope to post more in the future. The separate struggle is feeling like I'm choosing UA-cam over actual friends in my real life or vice versa and feeling some guilt no matter what I choose. Because if I spend all my time and energy making personal youtube videos, then what is left for my real friends? If I spend all my time with my real friends then millions of people online won't see the full picture of who I am and make so many assumptions, but maybe that's okay.
@@BehindThe5 what can I say - do what your heart tells you do, and of course never forget about your friends. And I'm sure they must be the luckiest people in the world, that they have you 😃
Man... your such a great person. Sometimes I feel like I act or have a different personality at school when compared with when I’m at home.
In my defense of the laughing emojis... I totally understand. It's like you were reading my mind. I'm very much the same way. I post a fair amount about my art but in real life I'm very shy and not always in the mood to talk or have the energy to. I totally get it!
I really applaud you for being brave enough to share such information with the world.
LOL! "she's running everything." uummm...
Great to be self aware so young, you are on a great path… all the ones you are, Bravo !
Lily, I love this video and am inspired by how brave you are in sharing this so authentically. Interesting how your "giving up on humans" lead you to focus on dominoes, and now it's your dominoes that seem to bring you back to humans. An interesting progression with probably more interconnectedness that meets the eye, if connecting the two is what you're looking for. You're asking yourself bold questions and are on the way to finding a balance that's right for you. Really valuable for me to see this and excited for what's next.
I appreciate that so much, Ben. Thank you. “now it’s your dominoes that seem to bring you back to humans” - what a great way of putting it. However it is and it isn’t at the same time. Sometimes it feels like my work takes away from the people I know in my real life, yet I’m connecting with many more online. It’s complex and confusing sometimes but I try to balance it as best as I can.
😄
Lots of respect to you for putting this out.
Don’t worry none of us are perfect. You can be whatever kind of person you want to be. If you’re Lily or Hevesh5 we will always think you are great. Even if Hevesh5 overly smiles or Lily goes un-noticed, always appreciate who you are. And remember, your life is what you make of it. A couple weeks ago I saw one of your videos and I thought to myself, “I wish Lily wouldn’t edit her videos so much.” Don’t get me wrong I love watching your videos but when there are so many wacky edits, it just seems like you are a completely different person from the other side of the globe, than when I saw your videos in 2014. Also, when there are so many edits, it seems almost fake. I know that you don’t animate dominoes and would never even try to put an animated domino clip into your video but it seems almost that way when I hop on to your main channel. When I was a NewTuber (sorry for the bad pun) I thought I should post videos where I’m like all happy and I smile a lot. But when I was editing the video, I watched the clip back and I realized that I was almost pretending to be the opposite of who I am as a person. I thought about it, and decided to not post the video. I didn’t want to lie to the community and put on a show about me being this happy person, like you on Hevesh5 but I was more like Lily. Shy and all. I decided to post videos but be my normal self.
Me 1 yr later realizing I wrote a fkn essay for a Hevesh5 video
Thanks for sharing, Lily. I completely understand what you mean. I know what it's like to be exhausted by social obligations.
You're doing great.
If you'll accept a little wisdom from an introvert with a few extra decades, keep those close friends close. The people who know and accept the real you are invaluable and will be instrumental in staying happy, sane and whole. You may also find yourself occasionally surprised (or disappointed) to learn who those people are (or aren't), so be open to changing the membership in your inner circle as life goes on.
And at the risk of repeating myself, you're doing great!
That's very solid advice. Thanks Colin.
Wow !
Yes, I see exactly what you mean. It does't hit only famous people and I have an understandable representation of that :
We are all one complex person. Imagine that this person, with all his personalities, is an abstract statue. The possible emotions of this person are shape of the statue. For exemple, if the person is calm, the statue will be smooth, slightly wavy. If, contrariwise the person is angry or violent, there will be a lot of sharp spikes.
But we can't have always one single emotion, as complex as it can be : our personality vary depending on the circumstances. A circumstance is the place from where you see the sculpture, and our different personalities are the different sides of the sculpture. For exemple, if you are single or with other people, what type of people are they; if you just hear a bad news; if you're in vacations... All that circumstances are perspectives which let appear one specific part of the statue that your are.
We all have lots of personalities that changes with the circumstances and that are more or less different.
When you are famous, it's even more complex because you have to show you as an interesting person and sometimes although you don't feel that at all at times. I heard a song some years ago that explained it : it was the story of a clown that just broken with her girlfriend. He was very sad but he had to come on the stage to make laugh the people and he wasn't able to do anything else.
Before to see this video, I suspected that you was not like Hevesh5 in real life but I thought that you tried to hide that and honestly, you was a bit too "flashy" and commercial for me, which made me not really enjoy watching your videos. I liked them but I found a little unsatisfying thing in them...
This video made me understand that you had had this reflection and that you didn't kill the Lily who filmed some ugly frogs. The fact that there is a real person who have a life like everyone and who think to herself beyond Hevesh5 is reassuring.
I already half understood it when I watched your 32,000 domino record, because I saw that you put your hearth in it, but to say it clearly in this video confirmed my guesses.
Finally, I want to say congrats to having the courage to say that in this video because to reveal such personal things to everyone must be hard.
Domino challenge
Well said, and great analogy with the statue example. "This video made me understand that you had had this reflection and that you didn't kill the Lily who filmed some ugly frogs." - hahaha yeah xD Part of me also believes that some people will really connect with Lily on the Hevesh5 channel because they can see themselves in my true self. Although that might be a much smaller percentage of people, some people do prefer the less flashy and I totally understand that (I do too). It becomes more of a challenge when you make content for a certain type of audience with an inherent goal to grow it. But I'm glad that this video helped confirm your guesses, and hope it will for others too. Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
Awwwwww I got to know Lily before I know H5 so I never felt that way!! I think you are always passionate about dominos and when you talk about dominos there are always a lot of energy. When you are more quite and laid back you had a lot of things in your thoughts and a lot of things to offer as well. H5 is your work now. It’s very normal to act very differently at work and at home even for people working in industries. Don’t put all the time into work! Spend some time hanging out with friends and being Lily! You’ll see that you are always Lily and you are never loosing her!
Aw thank you for such a kind comment. Slowly I'm learning it's okay to have different sides of myself that show themselves in certain scenarios. College was truly a year of being just Lily and it was honestly the happiest I had ever been. That definitely says something.
So... are you my father or not?
Gotta love hello fresh #notsponsored
Hey Lily. Despite you asserting that you're 'Lily' in the outro, this video was presented by Hevesh5. This video sounded like Lily's thoughts expressed through Hevesh5.
It's okay for you to behave differently in different situations. Here's an example about myself, but I suspect applies to most people:
When I take tests and I study, I become a lot quieter, more focused, and much less social. I know this sounds trivial but hear me out. Let's call normal talkative me Ofek, and the test-taking me Gila5. Let's say it's finals week now, and I'm taking a ton more tests than usual and studying more often. That week I'd be a expressing Gila5 a lot more than usual. I'm not sure if I could sustain 1 or 2 months of full on Gila5, it becomes very hard.
Gila5 behaves very differently, but is he a different person? In my example, it's pretty clear that I am the same person in both situations. I am not pretending to be someone I am not, I just choose to embody a studious and independent persona to be able to succeed at studying and test taking. I am not deceiving anyone.
There may be qualities of Ofek I wish Gila5 would have, like being less anxious. And there are qualities of Gila5 I wish Ofek would have, like better time management. But I see no problem with these two personas existing, activating themselves when it's necessary.
In reality, I have countless personas. I'm much more open and cheerful with people I'm close to, and I'm much more logical and stoic with people I dislike. At work I'm pretty loose but still professional.
While this isn't even close to as intense as what you're going through, I want you to understand that both Lily and Hevesh5 are true expressions of you. You might have consciously built Hevesh5, but that doesn't make her less genuine or real. But she is you.
You of course know yourself better than me, and you can decide that it's important for you that they become less separate and that they eventually merge. But know that it's completely okay for you to leave them as two different expressions, each which serve their own purpose.
Just a guess, but I feel like your true problem now is that you feel secluded and you aren't spending enough time with people you are very close to. And because of that Lily isn't being expressed as often.
If I'm taking a lot of tests, the solution isn't to start chatting and being normal when I'm on the middle of a test, combining my personas. It makes more sense to just take breaks studying and taking more time off with friends.
So I recommend trying harder to spend more time with your friends. :)
Very interesting observation in the first sentence. I will not say if I agree or not, but I would love it if you could elaborate more. What specific cues made you think that this was presented by Hevesh5 and not Lily?
That was a fantastic personal example. Thank you for sharing that and for your thoughtful words at the end. I'm kinda tearing up a bit honestly. Thanks, Coy.
Hey Lily. First off I'm Ofek Gila, not Coy McBob haha, that was the name I picked when I was 8 for my youtube channel since 'Bob McCoy' was taken :P
Sure. So of course I don't know you as well as you know yourself, so I'm just making observations. Throughout this youtube video, you smiled a ton and laughed/giggled, even when you were talking about pretty serious feelings you were going through. You even acknowledged that this behavior is something you intentionally do as Hevesh5 ("I'm not overly bubbly in real life"). From my personal experience with my friends, when they go through similar kinds of feelings, it's a lot more serious.
Now again, I think it's great that you were happy and smiling throughout this video, this is not you opening up to your close friends. This is you creating a youtube video that's viewed by thousands of people you have never met. Smiling and giggling is great, helps soften the tone, etc., and is exactly what I would expect Hevesh5 to do.
Anyways, you asked for specific examples :)
Look at 7:52. You're talking about how you're lonely now, not seeing people, and go on as to how you're not able to express the Lily side of yourself. But throughout all of that, despite that it looks like you're tearing up, you maintain a smile. It looks like you're consciously forcing yourself to smile, which seems like a Hevesh5 thing to do.
Also you actively smiled pretty much non-stop throughout this video, except 5 moments. First time is 1:26, where you start the sentence not smiling, but quickly turn on a smile. At 2:52 you start off not smiling but quickly fix that. 3:41 is probably the longest you've gone without smiling (~15 seconds), and even then it looks like you're trying to smile. But that clip is probably the clip where 'Lily' is portrayed the most. 4:41 also is pretty similar, although by the end of the thought you go back to smiling widely. And finally 6:49, is also similar, but Hevesh5 takes over at the end of the thought.
My point is, in this 10 minute video of you not talking about a happy and bubbly topic, there are maybe 3 scenes or ~30 seconds where you don't have a beaming smile while you're talking. And starting at 7:52 again I think is a great example of that. That's why it looks like while Lily may have written the majority of the script, Hevesh5 is presenting it mostly.
Again, I think there's nothing wrong with this. I think this video is perfect. I of course disagree with some of your thoughts in the video where you should entirely merge these two personas, and I think it makes complete sense to behave differently here than you do with your friends and family.
With what you're going through, I think it's important for you to spend more time with your friends and family so that you can take a break more often.
I would love to be there for you Lily to chat with and not have to worry about how you express yourself. But I'm just a random 21 year old in the youtube comment section. It's definitely better if you could hang out more, in person, with people who you care about. If you do want to chat more with me offline, I'm happy to chat/zoom etc. and we can be there for each other during this time of covid. Feel free to reach out to me at me@ofekgila.com. I'm also happy to continue this comment thread longer if you want to chat more and you're more comfortable with that, but I personally won't open up too much about myself in such a public forum
I believe in you, you're not alone :)
Super
This was beautifully honest, love it.
Also I recommend getting high, doing some meditation and yoga 😜
I'm first ! Yay !
Hi
I remember when I was only two people
sweet memories
You are young. Don't
Worry about people's perception.
You are just focused on your dominoes at times and that's a good thing. It's also good you can be
Lilly
蛮可爱的，来抱一个，妹妹
Lily, you are an absolutely amazing person, no matter what anyone else says. You are an incredible inspiration to all of us, no matter whether we do dominos or do not. I myself cannot even imagine the work that goes into it. the part of my brain that controls math is permanently damages, so it would be VERY hard for me to do such things. I LOVE that you are also a musician, as am I. I've been playing guitar for over 20 years now, and it has changed my life. Don't be afraid to show people who you really are. It can be difficult many times, I am sure, but those who know you and accept you for who you are are people that are lifelong friends and eventually they become family. Never give up no matter what.
to Hevesh5 and Lily Hevesh, from a loving fan always,
Kevin Hayes
I really appreciate your comment. thank you.
@@BehindThe5 it is my pleasure always to help someone feel better and be happier. as a person, that is my job.
I sincerely appreciate the replies.
@@BehindThe5 Lily, Here is a personal message from me to you. I felt like it was time to do something to try and help. I sincerely hope that this message finds you well. ua-cam.com/video/wIId7u2fE34/v-deo.html
Love your shirt Lily!!
Who's Lily?
#TeamTrees!