I'm so sorry for your loss. And for what you're going through with difficult people in your family and lack of support. I know I'm just someone on the internet but I'm here for you if you ever need to talk to anyone. I talk to my husband about you a lot when you make videos because I can relate to you and I like you. People out here care, you don't have to be totally alone.
I’m sorry for everything you’re dealing with, and I totally understand your conflicting feelings about your mom. I have AvPD too, and your mom sounds so much like mine I got chills listening to you describe her. My mom runs the gamut of the cluster B disorders, and while I wish to be free of her, just as you said there’s always that disgusting hope that maybe someday she’ll decide to change. I know how hard it is to be the only non-asshole in the family, and I admire how well you’re keeping it together because I don’t know if I’d be able to. I hope that you will be able to have a little more peace in your life now that your abuser is gone.
Sorry for you. My mom died nineteen years ago, my dad six years ago. I still dream about them regularly...sometimes positive dreams, sometimes troubling. Unlike you, I had a generally good relationship with them. With all the craziness around me, I sometimes feel I am about the sanest person I know...which is scary. My Dad's mother was an alcoholic and severely depressed. She made his life, and my life and my mom's life miserable. After she died, when he was forty, my dad was a much happier person. Maybe your life will be much simpler, if not happier, now. Good for your Dad. Families can be the worst at these times. I was alone with my Dad when he died, which was hard, but easier in some ways. Good luck!
I'm so sorry for your loss. And for what you're going through with difficult people in your family and lack of support. I know I'm just someone on the internet but I'm here for you if you ever need to talk to anyone. I talk to my husband about you a lot when you make videos because I can relate to you and I like you. People out here care, you don't have to be totally alone.
I’m sorry for everything you’re dealing with, and I totally understand your conflicting feelings about your mom. I have AvPD too, and your mom sounds so much like mine I got chills listening to you describe her. My mom runs the gamut of the cluster B disorders, and while I wish to be free of her, just as you said there’s always that disgusting hope that maybe someday she’ll decide to change. I know how hard it is to be the only non-asshole in the family, and I admire how well you’re keeping it together because I don’t know if I’d be able to. I hope that you will be able to have a little more peace in your life now that your abuser is gone.
Sorry for you. My mom died nineteen years ago, my dad six years ago. I still dream about them regularly...sometimes positive dreams, sometimes troubling. Unlike you, I had a generally good relationship with them. With all the craziness around me, I sometimes feel I am about the sanest person I know...which is scary. My Dad's mother was an alcoholic and severely depressed. She made his life, and my life and my mom's life miserable. After she died, when he was forty, my dad was a much happier person. Maybe your life will be much simpler, if not happier, now. Good for your Dad. Families can be the worst at these times. I was alone with my Dad when he died, which was hard, but easier in some ways. Good luck!
I deleted the comment, I think you were right that it was inappropriate. I apologize.