Inside the World of Feeding Difficulties: Real Families Episode 2
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- Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
- Eight-year-old Bobby refuses to eat most food. Is he food phobic? And Jessi-Jai is three, but is still not speaking in sentences and throws tantrums that last for hours. Can a specialist help?
It’s thought that 1 in 20 children aged between five and sixteen has a ‘conduct disorder’. Sadly, this often goes undiagnosed and those afflicted children are branded ‘problem children’ and their struggling parents left to fend for themselves. Using sophisticated tests and experiments, it is now
easier than ever to explain a child’s difficult or anti-social behaviour. Are they suffering from a behavioural disorder? Or has their environment lacked the necessary discipline? Either way, our experts are here with cutting edge treatments to help lift these children and their parents out of destructive habits, with emotional and dramatic transformations.
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I have an adult friend who only ate 1 food. for YEARS--even on Thanksgiving--as an adult, he would only eat that 1 thing. Eventually, he went to a psychiatrist, got on anti-anxiety meds and got therapy and it really helped. Sometimes food is just the scapegoat to sublimate more general anxiety.
When it’s that severe it usually arfid I have it only have four safe foods and I’m an adult
@@bethanatorsings7879You are an adult who only eats FOUR things? Or did I misunderstand what you've said?
@meganblack3957 Maybe she will answer, as I am quite interested to know. I have 2 family members with eating disorders. And I also have 3 girls, ages 18, 19 and 21--so one always worries about girls at that age (and I have a 22 yr old boy but he doesn't seem to have any eating disorders). Especially when they leave for college, as that can often trigger it.
Eating disorders are about power, not about food. Therapy is important to find the underlying issue and treat that as it manifesting itself thru food/eating is, of course, very dangerous! And the sooner, the better!!
These selective food choices seem to be a fear of something else. Bourne out of anxiety from a prior trauma. I am shocked that one would wait years to start trying to treat it! But again, I don't know as much about that as I do anorexia/bulimia.
I like how Bobby's parents say he's never eaten vegetables or a hot meal in his life as though he's had some kind of transcendent ability to know what he can and can't eat ever since birth, or like he was somehow just born with a phobia of practically all foods except sweets. Based on the mum's behavior when he was eating that poppadom, I guarantee any anxiety he had about food came from her overreacting when he was younger and convincing herself that he couldn't rather than wouldn't eat when all that was actually happening was him not wanting to eat healthy stuff like so many young kids.
yes, you could see she was worried. Daft to encourage him to stop eating when he actually wanted to. I think he may have had some kind of food related incident (minor choking/vomited etc) and she over reacted then, and each time he tried something else she was super cautious. His food isn't only junk, it's all soft food. Her language isn't going to help him either. He wanted them to stop arguing (also possibly a trigger for him, perhaps dinner time was a time of arguing etc) and she told him off when he was doing so well.
@@sandcastles73 It is all sweet stuff, even if it's not what you think as "junk food" it's still not healthy food and way overly sweet (like yoghurt). He has plenty of harder sweets in his bag of candy so it's not that big of a problem and he hates plenty of soft foods.
Yes! That mom was 100% the cause. She was so anxious about him trying a new food and making a big fuss.
A Person Yes. Did they not feed him any baby food? Carrots, peas, squash?
A Person : well said and I agree....
The end part when he said "that was a lovely meal" was perfect.
The little girl is very bright even in the spectrum she has a future.
Godbless them both.
She’s doing absolutely amazing thank you
The spectrum is no reason why someone should not be bright.
Most children on the spectrum are very bright.
ALL kids on the spectrum are very bright! It's just whether they have an outlet to show it and develop it.
And by definition, they ALL have a future!! It is just how it is handled going forward and how far their future will go. There are many professions that are perfectly suited for kids on the spectrum, such as library studies. Or other jobs where they spend their time sorting. Even bagging groceries is soothing and satisfying for many kids and adults with autism!
no need for the 'even' :)
This is absurd. Who packs a lunch like that for their child? Nothing but candy? He won’t starve for crying out loud. Let him get hungry and he will eat. Some days my son doesn’t want to eat, it doesn’t mean I give him candy. If a kid skips some meals it won’t hurt them at all.
Rebecca Shields I'm surprised that Bobby's school allowed him to have a lunchbox like that. At the primary school I worked at the kids' lunchboxes were inspected and any child with sweets, or even drinks like squash were frowned upon and parents advised.
Rebecca Shields absolutely ludicrous !
Right?! She said we want to make sure hes getting nutrients. How about a meal replacement shake if that's all he will eat, wtf is he gonna get from a brownie. I dont think people understand how important it truly is for children to get proper nutrients so they develop properly, not just physically but mentally as well.
Yes! I mean we all have kids and sometimes they are trying to test our limits with food, the mom said he would starve himself, well if it was my child I would not stand down he will go to bed hungry and eat a proper breakfast as he is told. I think they were just very soft with him in his younger years and that's made a bigger problem that they are now have to fix. But man alive! I would never pack that kind of kit to my child school that's crazy.
I agree with the above comment. He won't starve if you stop buying all the sweets and junk food. Every human has a strong survival instinct and when he gets hungry enough he will eat whatever is available. It may take a few days but he will not starve to death in that time and genuine hunger will set in. No soft drinks or flavored milky drinks either or he will use these to get his calories. The parents are responsible for what their children eat. You don't need to use any persuasion during this time, just serve up what the rest of the family is eating and at the end of diner time if he has not eaten, remove his plate with no comment. Don't let him see that you are in any way concerned.
My mom would make me eat whatever she made.
Their wasn't no option, it was either that or nothing.
Maria Aguilar I’ve heard of that then again there could be severe allergies to certain foods that has to be checked out by a doctor to rule food allergies out
Same. When I refused I would get the same plate 3x a day until it was gone.
@@ashleighray7503 omg yes me to
Happened to me, then they found out the food was making me sick... Honestly, affecting my body...not just making me feel ill because I didn't like it.
Maria Aguilar when I was the little my mom had the same rules but I would simply not eat for days and days and if she forced me I would throw up, all my blood siblings were basically the same way except for one brother, luckily as we have gotten older the problems have seemed to diminish
Poor Bobby. He definitely gets anxious about eating anything other than candy. So many aspects of the reason why he does that. I think his MOM kinda gave up too quickly when trying to get him to eat.
And the way he crams entire chocolate bars into his mouth, as if there's a famine coming, or that someone will take it off him.
I'm in my 60s and was told 3 years ago that I have Aspergers. Hurray!! I thought I was an alien. I have successfully had 2 careers . I was a primary school teacher and then a staff nurse. My autistic traits were actually a bonus. I was thorough, I questioned everything until I was satisfied and I have an extraordinary memory. Now I'm retired and can focus on the be that I love but was too worried to talk to anyone about because nobody else liked what I liked. I love my own company, I don't need someone to entertain me ,and I am an empath so make an excellent friend. Jessie will be fine with a family that love and understand her. I was a gifted child who could read at age 3 without being taught, only spoke when spoken to and nobody knew what to do with me. 👍🙋
Trish Traynor wow a long time to go undiagnosed I imagine your pretty high functioning low on the spectrum with mainly symptom regarding social interaction?
I didn’t realize it’s possible to be Aspbergers and an empath...can you explain? I am confused as I understand empaths to feel what others feel, and Aspys is the opposite? Curious...
I'm getting checked right now if I have autism and dyspraxia which that's a whole journey lol
I would like to climb into your head and look around a bit ! I bet it's pretty interesting in there !
Seldane 321 - it's "high" on the spectrum in this case. Not low!
"Can I pull you so that you're laying flat?"
*Pulls him flat*
Kid "yeah"
😂
That kids mum had the problem Bobby was willing to try but sally is telling him to stop
Thats right. I mean, look at this boy. He's really sweet, not really naughty.
i was quite angry , mum was clearly unhappy when he started trying new things
He's so sweet!
Can we just appreciate how coordinated all of Bobby's outfits were
If only the parents put that much effort into exercising and feeding their kid.
Susie Lytal yup feel bad for the poor kid his parents are basically neglecting him let him eat sweets all day and not get any exercise
😂
@@TheOldandslow I’ll be home at 🐝 this rtf was you a the
That and his eating habits kinda made me think he mightve been autistic
The only thing wrong with that little boy was his parents. And it seemed to be mostly the mum. Geez, he finally tries a new food and she's going, "No, no that's too much!"
To anyone wondering, that is the voice of "Arthur Weasley" from Harry Potter narrating. 😂
Oooo cool
THANK YOU!!! I just asked that!
I knew I recognised it from somewhere
Mark Williams, I think.
His names mark Williams
37:10 - aaaaand, there's your problem. "Would you rather not eat it? Have you had enough?"
Yep
Yup, why are they giving a child and option? If you take away all his candy and other stuff he eats, trust me he will eat. He isnt gonna die. Stop giving kids options, you're the adult, act like it
Yep.
Nahala Wing she’s putting the idea in his mind.
I feel like its a case of Munchausen syndrome by proxy...
Maybe simplify his meals- one plain thing at each meal..cheese, boiled egg, milk, dry cereal, etc. Balance the diet over the day rather than balancing each meal. He will learn to combine foods on his own.
Brilliant
Cheese and eggs are not a good place to start as they have a strong taste.
I would suggest bland foods like potatoes or plain bread.
So glad Bobby is tying new foods. Our tastes change over the years so hopefully he might be even more adventurous! Gotta give it to his dad for the encouragement!
I really feel for Bobby, he really wants to be able to eat other foods but he’s afraid of trying them and probably just can’t handle certain tastes or textures. I really hope he is able to try more foods in the future!
That poor boy! How is he supposed to get over his issues when his mother is so desperate to make him have something seriously wrong with him? I'm seeing a touch of Munchausen by proxy there. Not to the extent that she would consider doing anything proactive to make him unwell but she truly does seem to desperately want him to have something seriously wrong with him.
Thank goodness for her husband. I hate to imagine what would have happened if she had been terribly abused in her childhood.
Tara Wright agreed. The mom wanted him to be sick and was trying to Saratoga his progress. Creepy.
agreed
I agree, that dad was great at encouraging his kid.
My thoughts too, the way she got teary eyed when told he didn't have a phobia. She clearly wanted to be told that it was something more serious than him being a picky eater, initiated by herself
Yep.
if he likes sweet stuff why not give him fruit instead of junk food in his pack lunch
personally, I prefer fruit over veg but will eat veg as part of a roast, stews, pies etc are my fave way of getting plenty of veg.
Honestly I can't help but wounder if he is one of these people who has extra sensative taste buds to certain flavours. I know people with that tend to find certain veg far more bitter than most people. But are also able to detect sweet tastes easier too.
Copper Bunnies it wasnt how it tasted that stopped him from eating it, its how he couldnt physically bring himself to do it and personally i beleive having all this food, which for one, other children his age would be saying they have much better food than him etc, and secondly, it would create a lot of anxiety about having the idea of being expected to eat these foods by everyone around them
I eat all my veg and potatoes way before my meat and especially if it's red meat not crazy about meat but I eat it.
Same here. I never was a fan of veg by itself, But I am fine with it as part of soups, stews, anything really. Except zucchini and Eggplant. I hate them.
The boy knows exactly how to play his parents. he clearly doesn't have a phobia. He's learning how to be very manipulative...
calimntgirl EXACTLY
He's very indulged. Own fridge, own food...it doesn't stop
@@emmacassidy8482 They never showed the consequences (by that I assume fit), if his sister got into "his" refrigerator. He is a very indulged little boy.
What a horrible comment . Did you actually watch to the end ? The experts agreed it wasn't a phobia, but they did agree it was a genuine fear that would develop into a phobia if he wasn't helped to eat food (help his parents could have actually given him at any time ! )... He wasn't being manipulative at all. He was horribly distressed by his own behaviour and actually frightened by his feelings about food !To his credit he was highly motivated to change and was successful !....he just needed a bit of guidance .If anything it was his mother who was the impediment to him developing healthy habits because she got so stressed if he didn't like something that she offered him candy or yoghurt. You shouldn't forget that this started when he was a toddler; a time when his parents were in charge. It isn't his fault that they substituted rubbish for good food and bought him his own fridge. Given all that, I was amazed that he was able to change and even more impressed that he wanted to . The scene where his mother actually got angry when the father was encouraging him to finish a papadum that he was actually enjoying, because she thought he shouldn't eat it (simply because he seemed a little surprised by the taste and texture) ,demonstrates the huge hurdles he had to overcome ; hurdles his parents had unwittingly created ! At no stage in this documentary did ANY of the treating specialists who spent considerable time with him (including hours not shown here) suggest for a second he was being manipulative. I thought he was brave ....and I particularly admired him when he asked his parents to stop fighting over whether he should eat a papadum or not and then just got on with eating it (even though for some weird reason his mother didn't want him to).
Youve clearly never been around someone with arfid then
I watched this video a few years ago, and it helped me to figure out I had undiagnosed ASD that was presenting as depression and anxiety. The interview with Tony Attwood was particularly helpful and is what gave me the idea.
Jessy,,, parents, like me; wonder how or what to do if we think our adult child has never stopped acting out since they were a teen,,, im a single mother,,, and im at the end of all patience,,, the child lives with me and is verbally abusive for years,,,
I’d rather have a diagnosis, than a mystery. With a diagnosis you can plan and learn.
not everything NEEDS a diagnosis. sometimes it's just the parents lack of knowledge and coddling that creates the beast of a kid.
Listen when you’ve had a child already you notice the difference i fought for years against her diagnosis so pipe down
@@mariehirst8533 you seem rude and weird
Still waiting to know why I’m weird
@@mariehirst8533 ur gunna be waiting a while cuz I don’t have the time to explain myself to you nor do I want too LOL. pipe down 😂😘
well....i was watching dog training videos!...well done youtube
Same! It's Me or the Dog led me here
@@whiskeykel same😂
same, kinda. :/ i was watching Crufts, first Its me or the dog then crufts know this lmao
Omg what?! Same 😂😂😂
@@whiskeykel Same!!!!
9:45 What an amazing Mom! She’s so sweet and perfect with little Jessie. If this world only had more like her. The Sister was great, too. Respect ✊
I feel bad for big sister . It's not fair .
Thank you so much ❤️
Why feel bad for her sister? That’s why we got help.
@@mariehirst8533 is this actually Marie, Jessi-Jai’s mum?
I am indeed x
I love the assessment of the gender aspect of autism diagnosis.
Except nowadays, those intelligent medical professionals would be called bigoted and haters.
@@theyliveyousleep8965 nope, because nowadays people are agreeing with these individuals because we are becoming aware that the research in to autism is all based on a model of a young boy and is incredibly gender biased. stop looking for something to be grumpy about.
@@theyliveyousleep8965 no? This is a very common problem that lots of autistic people, especially women, are still trying to draw attention to.
what are you on about@@theyliveyousleep8965 ??
I am one of the "lucky" ones that got a dx at 27. most of us are way way older. this is a subject we are trying to explain to people. the only reason why I curse the "professionals" is because of 7 years in therapy and they diagnosed me with: BPD Antisocialpersonality disorder, GAD, Social Anxiety, Bipolar, dysthymia,. surely I am forgetting a few -.- so yes. these were profs that weren't that prof.
the thing I dislike is that imaginative play is something that a lot of autistics do. (especially afab's)
you don't have to assume, we can talk with you and explain how it is.
When that mom broke down at the word "autism", I felt really bad for her. She probably knows very little about it and is scared for her daughter. I am glad she has people around to help her understand what to do
I appreciate your comment so so much that’s exactly it! People think I cried because I hated what I heard, I was scared relieved all at the same time
How on Earth can you put that much chocolate in his lunchbox?????
its absolute madness. pure stupidity I think.
@@jemimajust827 yeah
Yeah that is insanity.
blondecat666 it’s disgusting! They think that pandering to him is going to help? He’s manipulating the parents and because they’re so weak...they let him manipulate them! It’s astonishing.
blondecat666 I think it's just complete madness and they can't do much about it to be honest
Bobbys mother doesn't look too well herself
Its a good thing he has his father
Bet the poor child has sooooo many teeth extractions to look forward to!
As a Speech Pathologist (for 32 years) who works with the birth to 5 population in homes in the US - I was very pleased with the SLP and the explanation of what we do and then the autism spectrum was great.
I think I had an actual food phobia as a kid, whenever I thought about eating, I would feel incredibly fearful and nauseous. I ended up being underweight the majority of my childhood. I couldn't eat because I felt like I would vomit it back up immediately, which happened quite a bit. I used to dread mealtimes. I remember wanting so desperately to be able to eat like a normal child and my parents never took me seriously. Eventually I somehow grew out of it but it still was awful.
That little girl definitely said “yellowww” when she looked down at the lemon after her mom pretended to feed her. Haha so cute.
She’s my diamond thank you
@@mariehirst8533 Is she your child? How is she doing currently?
Manu, yes she’s my daughter she’s 10 now doing amazing. Thank you
@@mariehirst8533 I’m so glad she’s doing well. You seem like an incredible person and mum. ❤️
Thank you so so much. I get so much grief. It’s so nice to hear people being nice thank you
Bobby is "frightened" because he knows that the jig is up!
Bobby will need dentures in ten years.
Exactly! The parents are massive pushovers
Cibophobia, or fear of food, is a relatively complicated phobia that can rapidly spiral into an obsession. People with this phobia are sometimes mistakenly thought to suffer from anorexia, a dangerous eating disorder.
If he had never been given sweets in the first place, he wouldn't prefer them!!! Come on parents! Don't be stupid!!!
Jude Lewis RIGHT!!!!
Found the vegan
@@q13oc6 I said that because internet vegans are the most closed minded rude people you will ever meet
H .L that’s a real bone head thing to say.... truly it was... I’m a vegan and veganisim has NOTHING to do with that statement... judgy much? What Jude said is true, he was given too many sweets and that’s now what he prefers, because that’s what he is given... he’s running off of sugar and nothing else.. true some vegans are preachy, not denying that... but so are some Omni’s.... some of you can be down right fecking nasty... that kid has a sugar addiction... you can see that a mile away.. yes there are food aversions going on BUT that’s coz his parents helped caused it...
@@Toothcollector111 Vegans are closed minded? Some people in general weather you eat meat or not can be closed minded and some in general vegan or not can be opened minded it's depends on the person not the diet.
ONCE, as a kid, I tried to turn my nose up at dinner. I was sent to bed hungry, and refused any food until I ate the supper for breakfast. Never tried that again...
I was diagnosed with depression and pstd as a 4-5 years old, went from eating like a normal kid to practically starving myself. My mother was a no-nonsense kind of woman so she tried "the eat this meal or don't eat approach" but I was sick enough to actually chose not to eat for days in a row. Eventually, she got me to eat some cheese and grapes that she cut into little heart shapes and I remember her crying as I finally took a couple of bites. She did what she had to do, went to the doctor, got me on some supplements and worked her way from grapes and cheese to a cheese sandwich, fruits and eventually ham and eggs. I was still extremely reluctant to eat most foods but she NEVER gave me sweets to fix the problem, because she knew what little food she was getting in me had to be nutritious. Until I finished primary school I ate no veggies unless diced so fine in a sauce or soup, but I managed to have a semi balanced diet with added supplements. Then, in highschool something clicked, I decided that I didn't want to be different from my friends and that I wanted to be able to eat school lunch with them and I started cooking to familiarize myself with foods until I ate EVERYTHING. I still suffer from ED to this day so food is a lifelong struggle, but I am incredibly glad for my mom's strength in giving me infinite patience so I could tame food on my own time and her resolve in not falling into the trap of loading me up with sweets to "fix" the problem! Thanks mum I know it wasn't easy but you did great!
I've never seen such a lack of compassion and empathy as in the comments of this video.
Perhaps because people know that enabling the parents is not a good idea. The child lacks discipline and intelligent parenting.
Idiotic replies who know nothing
'We did away with the dummy' then, on diagnoses day, she has a dummy?! Consistency!
I did a double take on that. My first thought when I heard, "You got rid of the dummy!!" was *don't call that poor kid a dummy!*
I didn't know they called pacifiers dummies in the UK.
In the US we call them pacifiers or binkies.
Guess I learned something new today.
@@joleenphillips2415 I wouldn't have known either, but I've been watching super nanny here and there since I was in high school... I've always called it a nuk like the brand name
@@joleenphillips2415 in Ireland, we say dummy, dodie or less common, but my preference, soother.
They're treating her like she's much a younger than she is
@@emmacassidy8482 if she is autistic it could be because she has meltdowns if they try to take away a familiar object that she likes. Processing that she is "too old" for it is harder.
i love how the mother was listing off all the medical experts she’d taken the boy to while he was listing off three headed snakes, two headed lions, and ‘baddies’
lmfao editing done right!!
Bobby’s mom is the one that needs the help. Her anxiety about her son being slightly unhappy is overwhelming. She wants so much for him to have a phobia. It seems quite off.
I bet if Bobby's mom took a trip for one week, she would come back and there would be faster results. His dad is more encouraging than she is.
Bobby: “that was a lovely meal!”, Absolutely adorable.
A very insightful episode and it's always good to see and hear from relatable parents and families
Children need boundaries and they can be set without the use of physical discipline. Disciplinary action may be necessary but it does not have to be harsh.
I hear that but my threats take me far and when I need to show action I do just that. My child KNOWS better all kids are different. Everything don’t work for all kids. If I only told my child to stop and did time out honey I would be bald asf
I agree. The parents steered him in the direction but didn't force him into it. They didn't push him but at the same time he didn't push himself. It comes down to the balance.
I agree but some kids suffer with a phobia aka Cibophobia, or fear of food, is a relatively complicated phobia that can rapidly spiral into an obsession. People with this phobia are sometimes mistakenly thought to suffer from anorexia, a dangerous eating disorder.
Honestly, the word 'discipline' needs to disappear from conversations about the many psychological difficulties children face.
HOW DOES THIS BOY NOT LIKE PIZZA?!?!?!?
I haven't watched the entire episode yet, but: to me, the non-eating boy is getting rewarded for not eating his dinner. He gets yogurt/pudding instead. This boy knows what he is doing. In my house, if you don't eat dinner, you don't get dessert. I hightly doubt that boy would actually let himself starve. He just wants treats and sugar no more! If it's not sweet, he isn't eating it. Again, I haven't watched the entire episode, but I am.
Have you watched the episode now? ;)
@@Roxirin yea. Jus didn't edit my comment. I see what is wrong with the boy now. His mother gives him anxiety when it comes to food
My son, eats very well but doesn’t like pizza. He wishes he did like “normal people” but he just doesn’t. Nothing wrong with that.
I don’t like pizza what’s wrong with that?
He has arfid which is an actual food avoidance disorder. It looks like his parents were playing into it but it also sounded like none of their normal doctors were taking it seriously. This disorder has the potential for it to become an actual phobia. Part of Bobby's treatment did seem to be some actual parenting though. He was very sad about his disorder and cried because he wanted to be able to like pizza. His mom seemed to be the most discouraging one though. He was eating a flat bread thinking called pop something (I didn't catch the name) and his mom was was making it a huge deal and was saying "no, no not too much" 😦
"I'd rather give my child juvenile diabetes and have him be on insulin forever than have him learn that he can't just manipulate the situation so he can get more candy."
fyi juvenile diabetes is a type of diabetes you're born with, and the other type of diabetes you're referring to is Type 2 diabetes.
@@gregorkrause no they are not born with type 1 diabetes, they develop it most commonly after a viral infection. It is an autoimmune disorder.
You are all wrong. Some types of type 1 diabetes are possibly triggered by a viral infection, but essentially, we do not yet know what the root cause of the autoimmune reaction is. One way you will never get juvenile or type 1 diabetes, however, is by eating too many sweet foods. Thank for coming to my TED talk.
Thank you this is the comment I was expecting to see here.
i will admit i never really talked until i was about 4 mostly because i hated the feeling of miscommunication because i had troubles pronouncing certain words
Damn, I too hate being misunderstood
Yes my son was exactly the same he was four and suddenly had a great vocabulary.
Jessi is 11 and still has poor vocabulary
One thing I'm guessing the boy's parents did, would be feeding him fruit baby food first instead of vegetable. One thing my mom told me once is that you're supposed to feed a baby vegetable food first and get them used to it. If you feed them fruit first the vegetables will taste very bitter to the baby and they'll refuse to eat them. Makes kids a lot pickier later on.
TBH though, it looks like this mom has some unaddressed anxiety issues of her own and that's making him more anxious about trying new things.
I don't really see an issue with the girl's parents. They're probably right with the autism diagnosis. They didn't seem like they were too familiar with developmental milestones, but that's a bit understandable if she's their first kid and they just didn't really know what to expect. Their doctor probably should have been wondering about her speech though. If she's 3 and only has a few clear words, that's a huge red flag.
She's not their first child. They have qn older daughter
That’s how you know because my eldest daughter was talking to me at Jessis age then you motive differences
Two beautiful kids! Glad they were each helped
I would take the pacifier away cold turkey, have father sit in the head of the dining room table as well as mother, and have a safety harness when she is near traffic.
She’s not a dog, she’s a child who didn’t understand the dangers of the roads. Her father was useless but thanks for your reply
And also, you can’t keep that forever, she can’t have a safety harness for her whole life and she may get very upset and unsettled by immediately taking away the dummy, so even though they did eventually, you can’t cut it out when she’s a baby, because that’s a baby’s comfort item.
This is one of the most brainless comments I've seen here. The 'disciplinary', 'cold turkey' logic is the cause of a lot of individual and societal problems.
Mum and Dad are desperate for diagnosis of ausitm or ADHD.
So they want a label to excuse bad parenting and lack of discipline. Mmhkay, alright then.
MrSteveGrey I think in these situations they meant it as they want a diagnosis so their child can get the support they need but yes in some cases I agree with you.
But it gets to the point where you can tell there is something else going on
I fought against her diagnosis for 2 years after this actually
I have a grown daughter (now age 49) who like two of her brothers, is on the autism spectrum. She was an adult before she had any sort of diagnosis. In fact, mostly through incredible effort, she is so high functioning that most people who know her have no idea of the real situation. She is a highly-paid executive in a tech company. She has been married since she was 21. She has two children now aged 19 and 14. Girls can sometimes be very clever about hiding the condition.
I'm just after hearing what he had for his lunch, so less than a minute in. That child has not a touch of a food phobia. Stop having kids until you learn how to look after them
Oh! U r a doctor?
@@karenlindsey5988 you don't need to be a doctor to see the child is manipulating his parents to get his way. No child is born not liking veg,fruit,etc it's a learned trait.
Don’t judge people until you’re in other people’s situations. Everyone is on a learning journey and you have no right to judge.
@@luciemcadams9016 agreed
@@born_confused In fact, when children refuse food it can also be that they feel (possibly after eating and then feeling sick) an allergy or intolerance - so it should be checked with a doctor. I agree though: the majority of cases will simply be kids testing out their boundaries... because they're kids. ;)
I love how she says my brain is wired super deluxe differently. I’m gonna start using that with my son that has autism.
that boy's lunch was PURE SUGAR!!!
i had a fear of food after being ill for months and I only ate spinach, hummus and breadsticks 😂 honestly wish i had bobby’s idea
Oh makes me wanna cry seeing such understanding of autism and when they showed the part with high functioning autism. Just makes me happy. I surprised people every day as a high functioning autistic person cause so many people think it's always gonna be styrotipical but no we are just like everyone else with are own quirks
Bobby, maybe a texture issue? My son has this, appetite shuts down when these are encountered during a meal. Continued even into his 20's.
I'm gunna go ahead and say no way. He can only eat chocolate mousse, candy, and baked beans? Come on. He doesn't have a texture issue with any of the CANDY BUFFET they pack for him.
@@Makanshi it's called safe foods lots of children with autism have them. Lots of things with autism aren't always logical.
Was just an observation and our experience.
@@dawnmarieslover4387 I wasnt replying to you. Was to the person making black and white statements. Just educating the stupid.
@@rennyh8627 It is logical to us. We know what they taste like, feel like, smell like, everything.
Did no one notice how skinny the mum is? There’s a chance she has an eating disorder and it’s reflecting onto her children. That anxiety around certain foods seems to be a struggle for both of them
I identify. Years later we found out my son was on autism spectrum asperger level.
@@l.2341 my kids lined up all of their toys on the regular - none of them have autism. They said that most kids aren't diagnosed until they are around 5 years old because toddlers show the same symptoms. This 2 year old was done a disservice to be diagnosed with autism as a toddler that had barely spoke probably because she had a binky in her mouth 24/7. Give this child some time to speak and express herself before condemning her to a life of disability.
@@katharinerobert8378You do realise that autism is NOT a bad thing. It's not something that is hung around people's necks. It is a way to receive support. It's in no way a bad thing. You idiot, it's like saying your kid is never gonna walk ever again and then saying 'oh no. wait until she is 10 and she will be up and running with children of her age'. Sometimes they can walk but most can't walk for the rest of their lives. Same with ASD. Sometimes it can be wrong but most of the times it isn't.
It's not just something that takes a day to diagnose. It took me a year to get diagnosed and I was placed on a list to get diagnosed as an emergency by my therapists.
Most people actually get diagnosed at around 18 months. But others (with level 1 or 2 ASD) may be able to mask their ASD and get diagnosed later in life (for me it was when I was 14/15)
I noticed she was talking a lot more once the parents took the pacifier out of her mouth.
As a kindergarten teacher, I've had many similar kids and I feel for the parents.
The boy who won't eat is getting to much of a choice. It's more brat than trouble eating
Alyssa with a star114466 it isn’t so much that he was a brat as that his parents, particularly his mom, were overly nervous and neurotic. He did fine and didn’t throw tantrums when learning to eat new foods as long as his parents went along.
Smh I wish my son would. I’m the parent and if he didn’t eat food he wouldn’t eat anything WHYYYYY because he will eat. A child will not starve themselves and they are not the boss. Ain’t nothing wrong with these children other than the parents making excuses. Some people need more help than others being parents
A child with sensory issues or autism literally will starve themselves to the point of malnutrition if the food is not the texture they can handle. I have Sensory Processing Disorder, and I had to go to special therapy in order to get used to the textures of various foods.
Physical and mental illness are a thing Karen
I wish Bobby and Jessie all the very best for the future. I hope that they know that despite their problems there is a bright future out there for them. Two lovely children.
Thank you so much 😊
@@mariehirst8533 Most welcome, just the truth. 😀
That mothers reaction when the boy was eating the popadom , no wonder there's been issues there for 7 years. Jeez felt sorry for her poor husband being undermined like that.
I understand your thinking so. But sometimes when one is so in the middle of a situation it can become difficult to have the "right" reaction. I guess own fears come into play...
Wow! People in here calling them horrible parents. They aren’t perfect but they acknowledge that and fixed it, that makes them good parents.
Thank you
easy solution: Refuse to give something else, once the child is hungry it WILL eat.
Pretty much. I think it's an ego thing. They're worried what people will think of them if they give him nothing till he is famished enough to eat whatever they put in front of him and the kid picks up on it because he can manipulate their self concern. It's clearly not concern for him. You don't have to be a nutritionist to know candy and yogurt that's practically candy isn't healthy.
@@ThePimmy11 precisly :)
not always
It? Wow 🤦♂️
Yes. I have never heard that a child has starves to death because he didn't want to eat their food. But I have heard many children to get a diabetes after their parents have given them sweet options for the real food.
I feel for Jessie's mum. My son was like this too, he couldn't speak or communicate properly until he was 5, he had meltdown after meltdown, despite our pleas he wasn't referred to CHAMS until he was 11! He was finally diagnosed with Autism and ADHD when he was 13. He's 15 now and doing amazing.
Thank you 😊
It is not always easy to find out what is wrong. But I think those parents are great. They found a way to get answers and help. 👏
poor parenting
@@shanelka8304 uneducated
@@katbagley3214 brilliantly educated, enough to see you through.
Bobby, well if he has alternative foods to choose from well he will pick what he wants to eat. I was taught to eat the food in front of me and what is given,if not I go hungry,that won't go on for to to long with kids.
I have a light form of autism myself and I hate it when parents want their kids to have autism or ADHD just to excuse their bad parenting. Bad behavior doesn’t mean your kid has a mental disorder. Parents should look more at how they treat their kids
He wouldn't be getting desserts instead of eating dinner
These are normal kids...the parents are not so much....
The little girl has development issues; but as she was diagnosed very early, things will get better for her.
Diane I think you need to educate yourself a bit more before commenting!!
My son is autistic. He is now 41. In 1980, nobody knew about Autism. Bobby is a lovely boy.
Omfg I like candy and junk food but DAMN that bag was ALL candy that poor kid needs actual food I’m not even that bad
Bobby I think has oral aversions towards textures and smells of foods. It is actually more common then people think my daughter did it ton when she little and would basically eat nothing. She was diganoised with something called Sensory Processing Disorder and through Occupational Therapy it has really helped her a ton. She is still really bad about meat and will only eat chicken but she is now loving fruit yogurts and cheeses which before no way. OT weekly has become a huge help for us!
I can completely relate to this. My youngest son has the same issue and he’s 18 years old now. He’s always had this issue since he was a young child. He tells me it’s mostly the texture of certain foods that he can’t stand to eat. As far a the diet Bobby is on is horrible. He needs more nutrition than he’s getting. There are so many other options for his parents to try. I introduced fruits and vegetables into my son’s diet in smoothies. He was drinking healthy food and didn’t even know it. So much of this condition is psychological.
The little girl will be fine. The little boy is stuck with his mother, unfortunately.
She’s doing absolutely amazing thank you
As a 16 year old girl who got diagnosed with autism late at the age of 14, I really wish I had been diagnosed earlier as it would of helped a lot. I currently don’t go school and it’s my last year! Unfortunately I masked it for a really long time and didn’t start getting my diagnosis till after covid because of the huge changes. My mother said that she noticed a few things like not liking textures, poor communication skills and a few other symptoms but just always just thought I was an awkward child. School actually started my diagnosis and after 2 years I finally got diagnosed but it just feels too late.
Hello, I do not think it is too late. My daughter was diagnosed age 14 also. You might want to correspond with her. She finished her obligatory school at home and had struggles, but she found her path. I think you autistes are wonderful people! Super deluxe indeed!
Your mum just failed to teach you basic skills and then found excuses.
@@silvialevi5311 Have a close look at your parenting style, as failure is apparent.
WHY DOES A 3 YR OLD STILL HAVE A BINKY
Right on, Iva. How can a child talk with a binky in her mouth?
Do not judge a kid with a dody. You don't judge the parents you judge the kid for not being prepared to give it up.
You idiot.
Iva Lee sorry I am English what is a binky?
@@amandashare1281 a dummy or pacifier
This vid and the replies attacking Bobby's mother especially are bringing back lots of bad memories for me. Obviously people are very quick to blame and not all that symathetic, perhaps they have forgotten just how terrible that taste change issue that most kids go through between 2-3 years can be.
And despite Bobby's mother seemingly odd choices, some of her (no doubt selectively edited) comments are quite reasonable to my mind. Did anyone notice the gag reaction to the chicken curry right at the end? I have no doubt that Bobby would regularly vomit when pressured into eating food that distressed him for whatever reason. My daughter who had some issues simmilar to Bobby was always doing that. She once ended up in hospital for 5 days after vomiting for around 36 hours after eating a pizza at her friends place. Everyone else who ate the pizza was fine. There was nothing bacterial or viral wrong with her. She just (sometimes) couldn't tolerate pizza. She was 10 years old at the time.
I am glad the parents got some consistent and helpful assistance, because I can tell you from experience that most in the medical profession would rather just tell you what a terrible parent you are than offer any constructive assistance. And don't get me started on the blaming and shaming that normally comes from family and friends. Just like many of the comments. Because stressing out already stressed parents is just so helpful.
My middle child is in her late 20s and is FINALLY getting a diagnosis of adhd and asd! As her mum, when she told me, I cried...I've known since the day she was born that she was different. We had soooooo many specialists and doctors appointments when she was growing up and there were no answers at all! In fact when she was 3-4, they tried to put her on adult doses of antidepressants after saying to us: 'she has all the signs and symptoms of having Aspergers, but girls can't have that'. It was all so frustrating! I'm glad doctors and specialists are finally recognizing autism in girls/women and that it can be and is different from boys/men!
Eat dinner, or go hungry. It's a long time until breakfast.
Its 100% bobbies moms fault hes fussy. He ate those crisp things fine hes only fussy when mom gives him attention from it
These parents want a diagnosis so badly, so they can just rest assured that the problem is out of their hands and they don't have to do anything differently..
You’re very wrong!
I fought for years after against it so don’t judge what you don’t know simple
How did these kids survive most of human history refusing to eat? They would have eaten or literally starved. In some parts of the world this is still true. First world issues
I have been to 3rd world countries and it just the same. Bad parenting. Bad mindsets around food. Bad economies. Mad mindsets around money and work. Violence. I went to Guatemala and it was cheaper to by coke than water so parents opped to by that for their babies. Some parents thought that was okay. "Unbelievable, I thought". To see children growing up and ending in wheelchairs before they are even 7 was super truly intense. Even if you have money people sometimes don't feel that they deserve it. Some cultures feel that if one has lots of money that means they stole it from someone else. Some are okay with living with what is just okay, the minimum.
I'm 70 years old, not autistic, but I had a similar food problem as a kid. I even cried when I had to bite into a green bean until my mother said I'd hurt its feelings if I didn't. I was not treated any differently from the rest of the family and either ate what was put in front of me or I would go hungry. I went to bed hungry on many occasions. I didn't like many things for a very long time and often preferred bread, but as I grew (much) older, I magically developed a taste for vegetables and have since become vegan (based purely upon my love of animals ... otherwise I would be a huge carnivore) after having been a vegetarian for many years. I would say that other than indulging in sugary snacks, this boy should be able to follow his own culinary preferences. He'll grow out of it too just like I did. 🌹
Do you “grow out of” diabetes?
@@canadianperspective3731 Type II, yes .. Type I should not be indulging in an unhealthy diet anyway either. 🌹
3:44 OMFG I HAD THE PLAY SET. YASS THE THREE HEADED DRAGON.
This kid doesn't like pizza. He's defective...send him back!
the not liking pizza could be gerd from the tomato sauce, lactose intolerance=cheese and the crust=gluten allergy or sensitivity.
Gregor Krause Not necessarily. A friend of my son’s growing up would eat only chicken nuggets and NOTHING else. I mean nothing! His mother took him for help and he had some sort of food disorder, which was straightened out. The last thing a parent should do is give in to their child. The child does not run the household, the parents do. Get help so everyone can get on with their lives.
That speech language pathologist who assessed the little girl is fantastic.
Have these people lost their damn minds? You don't give a kid candy because they won't eat. Who is smarter? Apparently the brat.
Bobby is honestly a great child but his parents have given him too much choice
Kids aren't brats.
@@laurencoradeath3755 clearly lol
@@marcusgrillo4935 p.s same can be said about some adults.
18:39 Yup. He is so right here. So many girls and women (including myself) go undiagnosed ASD or misdiagnosed as something else.
All I’ll say is that Bobby is very polite, excusing himself when he burped, which is standard behaviour, but it seemed to become natural so he’d obviously had those manners since he was very young, and his parents have obviously brought him up with nice manners
I feel so bad for Jessi-Jai and her mum, because Jessi can’t say what she’s feeling, and she must be so upset because much like her sister said ‘she can’t say if she needs someone’ and I also feel bad for her mum because she seems really exhausted because she’s constantly having to calm her down and look after her, and she’s such a good mum because she deals with her really well and comforts her
Thank you for your lovely comment, it was difficult it still is but worth it ❤️
Aww, how cute is Bobby, such a lovely boy. My nephew was a fussy eater exactly like him, right up until he was in his mid teens. Chips, Krispies, bread and butter and yougart. All of a sudden he started trying things, now he would eat you if you stood there long enough. I think his mum and dad just learned to live with his eating, we did. We also used to say that my nephew had a phobia of food. His mum and dad seem to be very good parents and gave loads of encouragement to help him fill up his food chart. Bobby was so proud of himself, was so sweet to see...WELL DONE BOBBY 👍👏
When my little girl lily was diagnosed with autism I cried but not with sadness but with the knowledge I was right
“It’s not a tantrum, it’s emotional frustration.” Can someone please explain the difference? ‘Cause it seems like one and the same to me.
I'm not the best with words but in my opinion a tantrum is when (usually) kids scream, act out, punch, etc because they are not getting what they want or are trying to manipulate their parents in a way. emotional frustration is when a person might not always know what's wrong or what's causing tension and then in turn act out because they don't know how to deal with it. similar to a panic attack in some parts, only it looks different from the outside and the person might not think they are dying. emotional frustration can be caused by sensory issues or not being understood because of communication issues and more. don't know if that makes sense to you but I tried :D
Exactly 🙄
Denial
THERE! I suspected it's down to Bobby's folks being more concerned with the judgment of others than Bobby's well-being. They go out to eat and she said she looks around to make sure no ones watching before letting him get at his sweets which he has to hold on his lap. A casual observation would see him chewing and think nothing was amiss and she sure isn't going to press the issue or fear of him tossing a fit in public.
When Bobby was crying at the therapist I lost it. Reminded me a lot of stuff I went through as a kid. Had a lot of fears that I didn’t understand and no one else understood either. I felt for him so much.
I, too, am on the autism spectrum. I have Asperger's Syndrome. I would have loved to have help and opportunities! All I had/have is loneliness, heartache and a whole lot of bullying. I just turned 57.
I can totally relate to Bobby, I was just the same as a child. Did my mum give me sweets to eat as an option? No bloody way. It was plain crackers, plain potatoes, plain bread, not very nutritious I admit but all those sweets and chocolates equates to poisoning your own child.
I was like that too and it wasn't my parents fault, they tried to make me eat but I would feel nauseous everytime I tried to eat rice for example. So what could they do, let me starve? They'd feed me whatever I could eat. I couldn't even eat cake without feeling like I would throw up. It had to do with the way foods felt in my mouth, that "weird" thing in my tongue. It wasn't a matter of me being spoiled or anything people are saying in the comments, I had a real problem, and what healed that problem was time. Only in my late teens and now early twenties I started eating like a normal person.
I couldnt even watch after the first couple of minutes. And that bag of candy?? OH NO!!!!
Why would any kid want to eat food when there's candyland at home?
There was only one thing I would not eat. My mom was tough: eat, or don't leave the table. I passed out in my plate; I just couldn't eat it. I'm better now that I'm older, but it's still difficult.
achanwahn what didn’t you eat?