I AM you, except I was 42 years old before I got my lightbulb moment. Thank you for putting this out there. People need this perspective sooooo badly. It DOES matter when you reach out, even if you get no response. DO NOT GIVE UP! It was only when my dad gave up that I gave up on hoping it could be fixed. I might have woken up sooner had he not given up (although I could never blame him...who wouldn’t give up in the face of such overwhelming odds?). Hang in there parents! 💕
Casey, I am so happy to hear that you had your lightbulb moment. The time ahead that you have with your dad will be filled with so much more gratitude.
Thank you for sharing - do you have any advice for parents of estranged children? should we continue reachinng out even if the kids keep blocking and unblocking?? what was the best thing that your dad do to help you wake up ?
Hi Ryan. Thank you for this. I am the mother of an alienated father. As such, I am also an alienated grandparent. These children have lost so much support from family. There is more loss for the child than just the parent. It is heart breaking.
I been going through this for 8 years since my divorce my son was 5 now 13 , lately it's been really bad he doesn't answer his phone or reply to texts so it's a teenager thing I know part of it but it also makes me believe the brainwashing is so intense that I truly believe that my son could careless if I just up and died buried and gone forever he would be relieved that he didn't have to deal with talking or seeing me anymore ! It's just so sad its goes on everyday my heart is just so broken I'm sad all the time I cry on weekends alot because I have alot of free time and have no interest in anything at all I've seen doctors been prescribed every antidepressant there is nothing works , the pain is so unbearable to not only love and miss my boy so much but to know he been told so many lies about me and he hates me and I've done nothing wrong except marry a girl who I thought was healthy mentally but was sadly mistaken 3 years into our marriage when we had a baby boy and when our marriage fell apart we divorced and she got everything in court didn't matter that I am a law abiding citizen with a steady job for yrs , then the evilness started I've thought about things that a normal human being should not be thinking just awful! God seems to hate me because this has been going on for years tortured on earth!
Thank you, from a fifty year old father.......... "Alienated father"!!!........... of two and just re-bonding with my oldest son at his age of 21 after 7 years of manipulation, There is hope!!!!! I certainly see a future with my daughter of which has been heavily manipulated starting at age 10 until now at 16 and she is just beginning to see truth over the past lies from her manipulators.
I'm so happy for you. I understand the plight of alienated parents. I'm one too, with my son living with his father in another country. I hope things get better for me and my son too
Ryan, you're exactly write about undermining the other parent "as a parent." I have watched my husband struggle with PAS of his kids for a decade now. It's been insanely painful, and people like you will help kids realize what has happened to them.
Thank you Ashley, and I'm glad that this was helpful. It can be so hard to witness your spouse going through this. If you need additional help, you both may find this free training helpful. It's about what to do when your child rejects you. I'll post the link here: joinnow.live/s/CfMwi1
The world is starving for your perspective. It is the most valuable thing a hurting parent has while in the midst of their storm. You're a rescue boat. Please don't stop!
You are brilliant. My daughter was alienated from my family and I for about 4 years. She is now 27 and is a victim of this abuse suffering with all the classic emotional consequences of a power struggle. Eventually I did get her back but she was angry and defiant and still is on many levels. A mother herself of a child the same age she was when she was legally kidnapped she is now having her own light bulb moments. I must admit, that even as the alienated parent I could have done a better job dealing with this situation. When I was attacked and painted as a bad mother it hurt me to the core and I tried to fight back. I wish these insights were available to me 20 years ago. These situations are not created in a vacuum and I'm sure I could have done some things differently too. What you are doing is amazing. Perhaps if your Mom knew better she would have done better too. Please keep up this work. I think you can make a difference for future generations of beautiful innocent children. God bless you.
This is excellent - looking forward to hearing more 'lightbulb' moments, as an alienated father myself, I need to know what might help to reach my kids...
Ryan, Thank you so much for describing this from a child's perspective - it gives me hope that one day, I might be reunited with my daughter, a girl that is now 18 and I have not seen for 6 years, since my relationship with her mother disintegrated. I am resident in the UK and your story is just as appropriate here as on the other side of the Atlantic, though seemingly not on anyone's horizon - it is as if the subject is taboo, something that could not exist, so it does not.
Hi David, I appreciate you sharing your story here, and you're definitely not alone. We have worked with a number of clients in the UK and throughout Europe who are dealing with this. It's still so unknown, but so so prevalent. We're happy to learn more about your situation to see if we can help. A good first step would be to watch this training I created on what to do when your child rejects you. I'll post the link for you here: joinnow.live/s/CfMwi1
Ryan, you are doing a good thing - Thank you!!! As a Stay-At-Home Dad, of 4 years, with preemie twins, and as an active 50/50 dad for the next 6.5 years, I thought I would be saved from experiencing this to the degree many have. My girls and I have, or had, an exception bond. Not only did we do lots of cool things, but as an ex airline captain and lover of science/teaching, I was engaged with their education and everything else as well. Not only the school stuff, but of life experiences that I thought highly of. With my help, my girls earned top math scores my last year with them. I would also include them cooking, or even changing the brakes on my car. "Righty tighty, lefty loosey," kind of stuff. They can even clean the fish the caught. However, with the constant barrage of court battles, and police interactions when I was fighting for her to show up for holiday exchanges, became too much. (We had a newly assigned biased Case Manager, that did not defend my time or rights, even though I had fully explained and documented past violations). I finally gave up (for a little while so I could find gainful employment, so I told myself thinking the relationship was strong enough). I could not continue to expend all of my energy and resources fighting against a woman making $300K/yr, and me having to pay her child support on top of it all! Anyway... What I thought couldn't happen to me has. Parental alienation has crept into out relationship and it's soooo frustrating! My girls are now 13 and entering an age where they really need me. But one of them is scared because of the poisoning from the mother ("Well, I called the police because I'm scare of your dad," is what she'd tell them). Over time, that has taken an effect. I believe one of the twins, they are fraternal, the one that is more logical, is probably OK. But the other, the more emotional one, is not doing nearly as well. Anyway.... If I was guilty of the typical male failures (cheating, abuse, alcohol, etc.) maybe I'd understand this woman's behaviors. I am not. But I very outspoken about the abuses of government, however, I'm as clean cut as they come, not to mention older, and this is unwarranted. So if this man can be "Legally," not protected by our so called system, none can. But what really surprises me is the lack of support by society. In fact, it will do little things, unknowingly, that tips the balance of power towards the alienator! Things like giving the kids a ride, or babysitting. I could be doing that. But not if I'm isolated. It is so very frustrating seeing good people engage in destructive actions, some of which know we are divorced but don't know the circumstances in depth. Of course many think or say, "Her day is coming," or "You'll get your day in court." Those words are meaningless. The more I complain, even with supported facts, the more I'm amazed at how irrelevant men are. Thanks again for sharing your story in such an articulate way and helping people all over this nation! It's the silence from society, our community, and from our own families, that has allowed this evil to grow, robbing children and men or so much. Sincerely, Michael Collins- Prairie Village, KS
It's not just men who are alienated. I, like you, am an exceptional mom. My kids have been stolen from me for almost an entire year now. At first I was getting bi-weekly visits until i hired a GAL (BIG MISTAKE) to investigate. Im so naive. I thought the GAL would get to the bottom of their dads abuse towards all involved because of it being so blatant. Turns out I'm the one with the finger being pointed at and have been reduced to 2 hr. per week proffessionally supervised visits with 2 phone calls per week. But in order to be able to do even this I have to follow 4 orders from the court system which is to 1. continue seeing my counselor (whom i chose to see just for talk therapy from all I was going through with the PA). 2. ETG UA's bi-weekly. 3. contnue with court ordered out-patient alcohol treatment. 4. Get a mental health exam (because I tried informing my kids of their dads illness). AND this is with collateral contact meaning that my husband who is causing this madness gets reports sent to him of my "progress." Since the kids are being severely brainwashed and saying they don't want to see me, and It would just hurt to see them in their condition anyway, I told the court that I wasn't going to pursue them. They are teens and know where I'm at if they want to see me. This isn't true because my husbands severe rage/anger is scaring them into saying they don't want anything to do with me. I'm the only one who knows the truth because I was there. I KNOW my relationship with my kids. I KNOW that I dropped everything whenever they wanted to talk. I was the type who nursed them for almost a year. I wrote a poem for each of them when they were younger. My stomach hurts ALL day long. If it weren't for Jesus and my faith in Him, I would not be able to bear this. I miss them sooo much and worry about their mental health because of how distorted their father has made their thinking processes. My case is called Attachment-Based Parental-Alienation. I discovered it through a Dr. who practices in California. HIs name is DR. Childress if you would like to check out his writings on this very serious and destructive matter. It is the most severe form of child abuse because it creates in the child a pathology where the child has a mixed disturbance of personality. This disorder is even written in the DSM manuel for psychological disorders (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual). I barely sleep nights with concern for my once gentlem loving, and well-adjusted children. Their dad is turning them into the monster that he is. They show no compassion for me. They show no love for me. They don't talk with me. They show rage, and a haughty arrogance. They even have had panic attacks just at my presence. When they were coming for weekend visits they would say that I'm "forcing" them and abusing my use of power having the court system help involved. They have called police twice on me for nothing. They pour their dad's venom on me to try and get me to react, and If i react in the slightesst way, they call the police. I have since also discovered that this narcissistic illness my husband has aquired is a narcissistic injury but could also be powered by a certain demonic Spirit called Jezebel. She was a wicked queen. You can read about her in one of the books in the bible called 2nd Kings. She was one of the most vile queens that ever lived, even having children sacrificed to idols. This might seem too deep for some and believe me, I'm a believer in Jesus christ and I also am having difficulty. Mainly becasue I DON"T want to believe it but KNOW demon spirits exist but at least with Spirts I have a chance at fighting through God's spiritual warfare. If this were just an illness (as the world calls it) I might not stand a chance. I'm sorry for all those going through this nightmare. when I read of your stories I'm reminded to pray for all those who have been afflicted with this most horrible of lifes twists. God bless all children afflicted, and God bless you all.
Michael, Your response really resonates with me. I will say the courts aren't equipped to deal with people who don't want to be fair or nice. It's my experience that nice "guys" (male or female) seem to lose in our court system. My story in brief: I gave up my career as an engineer to support my wife's career and to be a stay-at-home father for 16 years. My wife and I were not a good match, so when I couldn't take it anymore and reached my tipping point, I asked for a divorce. My ex made $1M in the year we separated. She said she wanted to be fair, but she hired the biggest, baddest attorney, and played all the tricks (as an HR exec. who helped many top execs get through their own expensive divorces, she knew exactly what she was doing), until I ran out of money and had to walk away in order to save my sanity. During the separation and the divorce, my ex would never answer my questions when I asked how the kids were doing, what they were up to, etc? That should have been my first clue, but I didn't want to believe she could hurt her kids that way - never mind me. When they moved out, she would not give me their addresses. Fast forward...It's been five years since the separation, and my now 25-year-old son and my 24-year-old daughter haven't spoken to me. I know I was a good dad. My friends know I was a good dad. My parents know I was a good dad. I know I went above and beyond always thinking I only get one chance with them while they are young, so make the effort, and I did! This being shut-out like I was nothing makes absolutely zero sense. It's like a death. It's being in limbo. But perception is everything, isn't it?! I continue to send texts, and e-mails and letters not knowing if they even get through. In the meantime, I've decided to get on with my life and hope my kids eventually figure things out. I hope they have their "Aha!" moment like Ryan. (Thanks for giving me hope, Ryan.) To all of you going through this, I wish you all the best.
What you are doing is amazing Ryan, & so needed. There are no good legal, therapies...just hardly anything & the alienated family doesn't understand. My problem is mom who is a borderline narcissist. She's committed heinous crimes & doesn't even have any legal rights except the every other weekend visitation. She abandoned them when they were babies, but unfortunately came back & took the older one & it is a nightmare past the horrific abuse of PA. Sending so much GRATITUDE & LOVE to you & yours for what you are doing.
coming from a hispanic family with strong family values and morals, I dont understand how my 14 year old daughter just one day decided to not speak to me, two years ago... I know now that her mom and grandma had alot to do with it... I also know that they were raised in that enviroment, thats why they think that there is nothing wrong with the situation... my ex hated her father and didnt speak to him, i encourage her to start calling him... Anyways everyone says my daughter will come around, I hope so, and that she doesnt when it is too late... My dad die and she didnt get a chance to say good bye.. she will regreat that for the rest of her life..
My dad alienated me from my mom then my ex husband is trying to ALLIANATION me from my 3 kids. He is so jealous of our relationship I have with the kids. He was doing things that undermined me but as the kids got older he started making the allegations more. I thank GOD I I got them back. Don’t give up!!!!!!!
Vicki, I'm so happy to know this is giving you hope. I hope this finds you well and that your situation has evolved. If you are still seeking help, please feel welcome to explore the resources on my site.
I have searched high and low for someone just like you sharing your perspective. My ex is a narcissist and a gaslighter. My daughter was in college and my son was in his early teens when the divorce happened. My adult children have not acknowledged me in 8 years. God bless you for what you are doing. I wish I could chat with you privately if possible. I have ordered your program audiobook. I am still going through the series though. Again thanks so much for what you are doing.
Of course! Although it usually happens to single fathers as the women in the dissolved relationships almost always get the custody, so they have more opportunity to do so.
Join the club. Just leave the other one first. You're a parent. Doesn't matter what gender you are. We all love and miss out kids. I'm sorry it's happened to you. I've been in this hell for almost 11 years.
Thank you, Ryan! My son's Father has alienated him from me for years. I have felt hopeless and pray about it every day. You are helping me so much! I appreciate you!!!!
Ryan is a courageous Angel ! God Bless him for shedding Light on this most painful family"Elephant in the Room"/ Bullying cultural malady that no family is exempt from..It has torn my family apart, limb from limb.
Hey this is jeremy from nj I have made so many videos about this but the way you word it is so awesome I think in my videos I will refer people to your videos because it's explained so well thanks and please don't stop making the videos..... what's your relationship with your mother now?
This video gives me hope. Not sure who will give my kids a light bulb moment or if they will get one...but I am sure of one thing...as an alienated parent I made several mistakes too. Thanks Ryan for all the coaching you provided...worth every penny. Still estranged but such is life.
Posted this video on other websites. Very good put together video. I just wish people weren't so complacent and expose these so-called people of power and get them out of office and disbar corrupted judges.
I was alienated from my kids. my older child found me over the internet. it's a long story but she is 25 years old and is homeless been into trouble with the law. my daughter told me about things she had to deal with after her father got full custody. my daughter was not going to school in the care of her father. listening to you seeing a child perspective there might be hope she try's to contact me again. I want to help her I don't want her out in the cold homeless. thanks for your videos
hello. my name is Jason R. and I have been and am at my end of the rope of breaking and falling to such a deep dark hole of my soul with being alienated from my 16 and a half year old daughter. I miss her so much,and feel like a part of me is just completely dying inside and already dead. my spirit is shattered and broken
I’m right there with you. I have not seen my daughter in over 5 years and my son treats me like a stranger and like Ryan said, I can’t even act like a parent anymore because I’ve become an outsider. I JUST told my son that his disrespect of me on Mother’s Day was not the way I raised him. He and I talked twice the week before then NOTHING!!! I am caught between being grateful for ANY communication with him and still wanting to guide him. It’s a nightmare. Their father actually gave them up and then after 2 years reappeared with money, travel, custom cars ... I’m left broke and isolated. Hang in there and just do the best you can. I pray we all get past this. It’s Stockholm syndrome... 💔💔💔
I rewatch this video and retell this story and am so grateful. Now I am wondering if the client that spoke with you was trying to illustrate they were a good parent. Maybe they knew what situation you were in and took advantage of that? Regardless you realized that you needed your dad in your life, and he never left you. Father's will have a harder time to keep a bond. And that comes from a mother who has lost her children.
I miss my children so bad. 😢😢😢 I've only got to hear from them once in four years. I didn't have the money to fighting ex in court. She made me look like a monster when I wasn't and took everything.😢😢😢 still trying to get the money up to take her back to court. Last I heard my children said I was a bad daddy and said that I wasn't there daddy. That the new guy was.
Every day I live under a dark cloud in sadness,disarray,anger,regret. Feeling like a total disappointment and failure to my kids. To my parents,my siblings, friend's and myself. I feel in love with my kids mother when I was in high school. I probably wasn't the best future husband in her eye's. (When I looked in hers they held my world) we had our first of four children just out of high school and I was on top of the world having my baby girl. The day I looked into her eye's I knew my world and life had changed forever. We struggled as young parents to provide the best with what we had. Thier mother was hard working and a devoted mom. I was a young airbrushing artist struggling to make a future with my other love of art and creation. I ended up getting into trouble and going to jail for a few months for my mistake and while I was in jail she cheated which she denied the whole time and got pregnant and told my mom. Which neither told me until just before I was released. Well I swore I wasn't going back to no cheater, but when I went to see my daughter and looked into her eye's again and saw her mother holding her pregnant and alone.....I couldn't leave I stayed and raised our son and daughter giving them my last name. I lived in jealousy and she left things always to be questioned. Which led to alot of arguments with yelling and screaming. Her and her mother always had the final say with everything. And if I corrected the kids. I was always seen out of line. I didnt like my daughter smoking cigarettes she was only fourteen when I found her first pack. Come to find out her mother bought them for her in what I would later find out to be part of her grooming process to work my oldest daughter against me. I had been a cussing her of having an affair with a co worker for over 5 years and I was always hesitant to marry her because she couldn't be faithful. But I did end up asking her to marry me in hopes I was wrong. Well I wasn't she told me she had planned a mother and daughter date. And they were going to spend a night camping at a friend's of my daughter's. Well I knew something was up. She told me to spend time with my oldest son who by the way didn't know at this time I wasn't his biological father, because I was never allowed to tell him the truth wishes from his mother. Well needless to say it was all a lie. She allowed my daughter to take a 16 year old boy to go with them out to her secret lovers house to do whatever with eachother while she did whatever with him all night they lied as I cried to my son that I was sorry for everything. I was devastated that she would do all this just to get my daughter to lie to me so she could plan a new life. We got divorced and I selltle civilly keeping my kids best intrest at heart not wanting them to be away from thier mother even though her actions show that she would put them in any danger no matter the cost. Just to get her way. I did everything I could to see my kids and be in their lives. Thier mom moved them 250 miles away which made it very hard to travel to see them every weekend on top of child support and any other bills. But I managed with the help of friends and family to make it happen up until I couldn't no more. No means of money coming in. The took my license so I can't drive no more do to back child support it's a loose loose for me alll the way around. She put her new man as there primary father for school so I couldn't even get up dates on my kids education or social well being. So took my kids out of state when she got married weeks after our divorce and left them with his family during thier honeymoon witch my kids didn't know and I was never informed of such traveling. They kids my oldest daughter out on the streets without informing me so I could take her in. She ended up getting on drugs and being sexually assaulted and admitted into some facility and I was never informed.. being a victim of sexual abuse myself I know how hard this is and at this time she needed me and my support but her mom kept it from me but told her she informed me and I didn't care. I didnt find out none of this until my oldest daughter got married and I wasn't allowed to walk her down the aisle because of a comment I made to my daughter about not being comfortable about sharing the moment with the man who tookthem all from me. Then my daughter hit me with the worst thing I could ever hear. That I was never there for her when I needed her most. Thier mother has done everything to keep me out of thier lives and still is doing everything in her power to ruin and hurt me over and over. I have no way or means of taking her to court because I have nothing no job no car no money and I only go into more and more debt as my whole life is being taking control of and meanwhile I'm stck in a state of endless depression and sadness and feel hopless and my kids don't even call me on fathers day or really ever any more. My youngest daughter and I had such a great bond that she would call me all the time even if she had to sneek to do it. She got grounded from her phone for a year because of something to do with school they told her. Bit it was just to keep them from talikg to me. But she would sneak her sisters phone and walk way down the road and call me. She made me feel so wanted and needed. My kids got grounded for everything even eating a brownie that my child support pays for. They all were forced to call him dad from the start. When I would call to talk with my kids 90% of the time I was told to call back later because it was family time for them. I love my kids more than anything and I have been deprived of everything a father should have and experience all because of lies and deceit and I don't know who to turn to for help
Going through this now with daughter. No contact in 2 years. She will be 17 this year. I had 50-50 custody since she was 2.5yo. Had numerous psych evals etc and not one would even mention the alienation going on. One therapist stated the problem was with the mother, but refused to testify, stating the courts were too corrupt.
Very informative. Do you have any solutions or tips while we're (alienated parents) going through this? Im hoping my 9yr son doesnt have wait until he is an adult to have light bulb moments.
Yes. Continue to make contact with the child, even if the child doesn't respond. Send cards and letters (photocopy before sending and place the copies in a box withe the child's name on them and keep the box for one day you may give it to them). call the child if they have a phone. Call the mother to speak with the child... Constantly. This will wear on the alienator because guilt will overcome them. Be polite to the alienator in all correspondence. Attend and support the childs' school events as much as possible. Always outreach to the child, don't give up.
In the "LightBulb" moment he was making memories. So that the other parent had no leg to stand on, as when the child grows up he can come back and say "Well, when I went out with hin we did this, or that".
Thank you for sharing. Im a mom going through parental alienation w my son. My aunt has guardianship of him right now. Youve given me insight to whats going on w him. And you have given me hope. Thanx again
The sad thing about parental alienation is that the alienating parent faked raising a child in the faith and now the child is against all that the alienated parent stands for. It is a completely unfixable situation.
thank you so much for what you do to educate. you had mentioned "weekend" parent. do you think you would have seen you dad as a parent if he would have been more present in the school, etc. my kids dad has alienated my children, he actually is still continuing to alienate. I'm at a loss.
Ryan, I can't find the follow up video to this one, wherein, you discuss the new dilemma that arises when you have had your lightbulb moment and realize you wanted a relationship w/your dad. I can imagine that was very difficult for you since the regime might've cut you out of their lives for reuniting with your dad
I had sole custody and spent my time enjoying my kids and my time with them and then them to dad's wishing them a good time. My ex now has my son believing everything is my fault, etc...and have not seen or talked to my son since.
Can you talk about your interrogation after coming home from your moms. I know it’s happening when my husbands son goes back home. His son was on restriction for almost a year because the son defended the dad.
I have a question, do you think the alienation would have worked differently if your dad had stayed with your mom till you was 11? Would having those years with your dad prior to the lies and manipulation helped see them for what they are? I'm asking because this is what's happening to my husband now with his ex . It's so hard to watch and not be able to do anything.
My ex husband made it so bad for me with my daughter she is now 35 and she still defends him we do have communication but I can tell she is just torn apart even though her father doesn't even talk to her anymore I think she still hasn't had that moment
I think my son partially saw the truth. But then I moved away because I didn't hear from him in almost a year, and I think he holds that against me now more than what most children would I think he just gave up on our relationship. I'm only a few hours away. But he won't answer my calls or call me back. He's 38 now.
I am a mom that lost custody of my sons when they were 6 and 1, I was newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was trying to find the right meds during the course of my divorce, once I found the right meds I didn’t want the divorce, my ex stopped talking to me, won custody and now my kids are 19 and 14. He is alienating my 14 year old, my oldest couldn’t be. I was always a loving mom. My youngest son stopped talking to me over a year ago and seeing me and I flipped out. I suggested therapy, was viewed as threatening, my son became even more Distant. Anytime I talk to dad or teachers about counseling, Adin is shown the emails by dad and I look like the bad guy. Adin told me his point of view and now I fear I lost him for good. He even made me feel like our relationship will never happen. People! This happens to women too!
But the funnier part about all of this my mother did that to me with my father and she was actually his lover and I started to have a relationship with my father at 46 years old tell me how that repeats itself
Can someone please tell me...what if I cry when I finally get to see them tonight??? Do I do my best to not cry and cry before hand? I know I"m suppose to be very unemotional but happy and normal. Right? I am going to watch more on Ryan's info since I JUST discovered it...and buy his program but in the meantime I NEED to know...anyone?
A 11+ year old battle story: My daughter McKenna Butcher was taken by her Mother over 11 years ago aged 8 months old and isolated me from any contact. After 5 years of Court intervention the judges, therapists and guardians finally lost patience with her alienating mother and the court awarded me full custody which was nearly a year ago. Sadly - this does not yet have any hint of a happy ending as she fled with her and is presumably being hidden by her "Regime" supporters. She appeared in a 10 second slot on John Walsh's program last night but thus far the FBI have been unable to locate her. I will not give up though - and you shouldn't either. Mike Butcher
My daughter carries on her shoulder Stockholm Syndrome she still defends him with all of the harm that that that man did manded no matter what I try to do I just walk around with pain cause I don't know what to do
Exelent video...... my daughter was alienated when she was 5 and she is 22 and she is still alienated... this has been happenig too much in Argentine.. laws are all for women, and just for been a male you are violent for argentinian laws... best regards,,, a big bear hug..
Hi Ryan. I am the new wife of the alienated father. The ex wife ( I see her) My question is how do I help my heartbroken husband help his adult children ( 33 and 28) see through the years of manipulation and heartbreak towards their father. I am of course viewed as a major threat and quite simply the witch from the west. Obviously the ex wife is doing everything in her power to paint the two adult childrens father in the worst possible light and they believe all. Then of course myself ( not worried about me). It’s just horrible to see and hear how the girls speak and demean their father and suddenly cut him from their lives. I’m sure you have seen the pattern. It’s sad for me to see both my husband and his two girls go through this. Is there anything I can do. ??? Thank you in advance. Kind regards jackie.
I am an alienated Mother. I only want to learn from tbe children, not adults who failed to mature for the government to prey on their families. Alienators need psychological help.
An outsider like some self righteous so called pastor of his cult gives the justification to allow this type of alienation to prosper has just as much negative effect as a positive influence. It seems it takes ten positives to over ride one negative.
Please put closed caption (not automatic closed caption) but write/type sentences in your video so I can understand thank you. The automatic closed caption will not repeat exactly what you say. I have a good male friend who trying to see his own son but the mother use the child as a weapon to punish.
I wanted to know if your father early on said negative things about you mother? then she using those comments as a basis year and year after, to help qualify her doing what she did. And did your dad write you with than your mother using these letters picking out choice words and his sentiments as a tool to say to you.... "look see your dad is acting inappropriate"....If you had a chance to read my email I sent over a few days ago, it may give you a little back ground on what I ask...feel free to respond if wish, publicly - there is nothing I feel needs to be hidden - again thanks for your effort...Brian
How many years have we cried out in pain. A smear campaign loaded up to destroy just one person. Yet this whole group of idiots are clueless to the covert abuse inflicted on just one parent and all the kids. My girls are 33 and 35 now and the ripple effect still affects everyone. Expect the alienator is a homeless junkie now and cut off from all her kids. It's sad when you know you tried to expose this abuse but years later it is still the same.
This sounds familiar. I seldom get to keep my daughter for the weekend and I tend to shell out the money on our visitation. She's slowly but surely coming around and warming up to me. She's 15 years old now and starting to see things for herself.
yeezus,, while it's good you provide moral support to alienated parents, if you really want to make a difference you need to be politically active w Drs. Childress, Gottlieb, Baker and others to educate the psychological community about what real alienation is. It's not even in the DSM-V. They are fucking us over BIG TIME.
I AM you, except I was 42 years old before I got my lightbulb moment. Thank you for putting this out there. People need this perspective sooooo badly. It DOES matter when you reach out, even if you get no response. DO NOT GIVE UP! It was only when my dad gave up that I gave up on hoping it could be fixed. I might have woken up sooner had he not given up (although I could never blame him...who wouldn’t give up in the face of such overwhelming odds?). Hang in there parents! 💕
😪😪😪
Casey, I am so happy to hear that you had your lightbulb moment. The time ahead that you have with your dad will be filled with so much more gratitude.
Thank you for sharing - do you have any advice for parents of estranged children? should we continue reachinng out even if the kids keep blocking and unblocking?? what was the best thing that your dad do to help you wake up ?
@@AbiAbi-mt3ie Never give up!!! Ryan is making videos for lightbulb moments.
I've got to give it up
Hi Ryan. Thank you for this. I am the mother of an alienated father. As such, I am also an alienated grandparent. These children have lost so much support from family. There is more loss for the child than just the parent. It is heart breaking.
You should do a TED talk.
well said! he should do one a week
I been going through this for 8 years since my divorce my son was 5 now 13 , lately it's been really bad he doesn't answer his phone or reply to texts so it's a teenager thing I know part of it but it also makes me believe the brainwashing is so intense that I truly believe that my son could careless if I just up and died buried and gone forever he would be relieved that he didn't have to deal with talking or seeing me anymore ! It's just so sad its goes on everyday my heart is just so broken I'm sad all the time I cry on weekends alot because I have alot of free time and have no interest in anything at all I've seen doctors been prescribed every antidepressant there is nothing works , the pain is so unbearable to not only love and miss my boy so much but to know he been told so many lies about me and he hates me and I've done nothing wrong except marry a girl who I thought was healthy mentally but was sadly mistaken 3 years into our marriage when we had a baby boy and when our marriage fell apart we divorced and she got everything in court didn't matter that I am a law abiding citizen with a steady job for yrs , then the evilness started I've thought about things that a normal human being should not be thinking just awful! God seems to hate me because this has been going on for years tortured on earth!
Thank you, from a fifty year old father.......... "Alienated father"!!!........... of two and just re-bonding with my oldest son at his age of 21 after 7 years of manipulation, There is hope!!!!!
I certainly see a future with my daughter of which has been heavily manipulated starting at age 10 until now at 16 and she is just beginning to see truth over the past lies from her manipulators.
God is good...hoping my 10 year old daughter will return no contact from the age of 3years.
I'm so happy for you. I understand the plight of alienated parents. I'm one too, with my son living with his father in another country. I hope things get better for me and my son too
Ryan, you're exactly write about undermining the other parent "as a parent." I have watched my husband struggle with PAS of his kids for a decade now. It's been insanely painful, and people like you will help kids realize what has happened to them.
Thank you Ashley, and I'm glad that this was helpful. It can be so hard to witness your spouse going through this. If you need additional help, you both may find this free training helpful. It's about what to do when your child rejects you. I'll post the link here: joinnow.live/s/CfMwi1
The world is starving for your perspective. It is the most valuable thing a hurting parent has while in the midst of their storm. You're a rescue boat. Please don't stop!
I am living this and this is so spot on with me. I just wish my kids would have a lightbulb moment.
This will change my life. I am not alone.
im an alienated dad and yes lots of parts of your story ring true to me. you have also given me some more hope so thank you
I'm so glad this has given you hope.
@@ryanthomasspeaks my 2 children are back in touch now that they are in their 20's. Its not perfect but so much better than it was
@@shamanjason7259 So glad that they are back in touch!
You are brilliant. My daughter was alienated from my family and I for about 4 years. She is now 27 and is a victim of this abuse suffering with all the classic emotional consequences of a power struggle. Eventually I did get her back but she was angry and defiant and still is on many levels. A mother herself of a child the same age she was when she was legally kidnapped she is now having her own light bulb moments. I must admit, that even as the alienated parent I could have done a better job dealing with this situation. When I was attacked and painted as a bad mother it hurt me to the core and I tried to fight back. I wish these insights were available to me 20 years ago. These situations are not created in a vacuum and I'm sure I could have done some things differently too. What you are doing is amazing. Perhaps if your Mom knew better she would have done better too. Please keep up this work. I think you can make a difference for future generations of beautiful innocent children. God bless you.
This is excellent - looking forward to hearing more 'lightbulb' moments, as an alienated father myself, I need to know what might help to reach my kids...
Stephen Joseph Film and Music Same here man!
Ryan, Thank you so much for describing this from a child's perspective - it gives me hope that one day, I might be reunited with my daughter, a girl that is now 18 and I have not seen for 6 years, since my relationship with her mother disintegrated. I am resident in the UK and your story is just as appropriate here as on the other side of the Atlantic, though seemingly not on anyone's horizon - it is as if the subject is taboo, something that could not exist, so it does not.
Sadly so
Hi David, I appreciate you sharing your story here, and you're definitely not alone. We have worked with a number of clients in the UK and throughout Europe who are dealing with this. It's still so unknown, but so so prevalent. We're happy to learn more about your situation to see if we can help. A good first step would be to watch this training I created on what to do when your child rejects you. I'll post the link for you here: joinnow.live/s/CfMwi1
Ryan, you are doing a good thing - Thank you!!! As a Stay-At-Home Dad,
of 4 years, with preemie twins, and as an active 50/50 dad for the next
6.5 years, I thought I would be saved from experiencing this to the
degree many have. My girls and I have, or had, an exception bond. Not
only did we do lots of cool things, but as an ex airline captain and
lover of science/teaching, I was engaged with their education and
everything else as well. Not only the school stuff, but of life
experiences that I thought highly of. With my help, my girls earned top
math scores my last year with them. I would also include them cooking,
or even changing the brakes on my car. "Righty tighty, lefty loosey,"
kind of stuff. They can even clean the fish the caught. However, with
the constant barrage of court battles, and police interactions when I was
fighting for her to show up for holiday exchanges, became too much. (We
had a newly assigned biased Case Manager, that did not defend my
time or rights, even though I had fully explained and documented past violations). I
finally gave up (for a little while so I could find gainful employment,
so I told myself thinking the relationship was strong enough). I could
not continue to expend all of my energy and resources fighting against a
woman making $300K/yr, and me having to pay her child support on top of it all!
Anyway... What I thought couldn't happen to me has. Parental alienation
has crept into out relationship and it's soooo frustrating! My girls are
now 13 and entering an age where they really need me.
But one of them is scared because of the poisoning from the mother
("Well, I called the police because I'm scare of your dad," is what
she'd tell them). Over time, that has taken an effect. I believe one of
the twins, they are fraternal, the one that is more logical, is probably
OK. But the other, the more emotional one, is not doing nearly as well.
Anyway.... If I was guilty of the typical male failures (cheating,
abuse, alcohol, etc.) maybe I'd understand this woman's behaviors. I am not. But I
very outspoken about the abuses of government, however, I'm as clean cut as
they come, not to mention older, and this is unwarranted. So if this man can be "Legally," not
protected by our so called system, none can. But what really surprises
me is the lack of support by society. In fact, it will do little things,
unknowingly, that tips the balance of power towards the alienator!
Things like giving the kids a ride, or babysitting. I could be doing
that. But not if I'm isolated. It is so very frustrating seeing good
people engage in destructive actions, some of which know we are divorced
but don't know the circumstances in depth. Of course many think or say,
"Her day is coming," or "You'll get your day in court." Those words are
meaningless. The more I complain, even with supported facts, the more I'm
amazed at how irrelevant men are. Thanks again for sharing your story in
such an articulate way and helping people all over this nation! It's
the silence from society, our community, and from our own families, that
has allowed this evil to grow, robbing children and men or so much.
Sincerely, Michael Collins- Prairie Village, KS
It's not just men who are alienated. I, like you, am an exceptional mom. My kids have been stolen from me for almost an entire year now. At first I was getting bi-weekly visits until i hired a GAL (BIG MISTAKE) to investigate. Im so naive. I thought the GAL would get to the bottom of their dads abuse towards all involved because of it being so blatant. Turns out I'm the one with the finger being pointed at and have been reduced to 2 hr. per week proffessionally supervised visits with 2 phone calls per week. But in order to be able to do even this I have to follow 4 orders from the court system which is to 1. continue seeing my counselor (whom i chose to see just for talk therapy from all I was going through with the PA). 2. ETG UA's bi-weekly. 3. contnue with court ordered out-patient alcohol treatment. 4. Get a mental health exam (because I tried informing my kids of their dads illness). AND this is with collateral contact meaning that my husband who is causing this madness gets reports sent to him of my "progress." Since the kids are being severely brainwashed and saying they don't want to see me, and It would just hurt to see them in their condition anyway, I told the court that I wasn't going to pursue them. They are teens and know where I'm at if they want to see me. This isn't true because my husbands severe rage/anger is scaring them into saying they don't want anything to do with me. I'm the only one who knows the truth because I was there. I KNOW my relationship with my kids. I KNOW that I dropped everything whenever they wanted to talk. I was the type who nursed them for almost a year. I wrote a poem for each of them when they were younger. My stomach hurts ALL day long. If it weren't for Jesus and my faith in Him, I would not be able to bear this. I miss them sooo much and worry about their mental health because of how distorted their father has made their thinking processes. My case is called Attachment-Based Parental-Alienation. I discovered it through a Dr. who practices in California. HIs name is DR. Childress if you would like to check out his writings on this very serious and destructive matter. It is the most severe form of child abuse because it creates in the child a pathology where the child has a mixed disturbance of personality. This disorder is even written in the DSM manuel for psychological disorders (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual). I barely sleep nights with concern for my once gentlem loving, and well-adjusted children. Their dad is turning them into the monster that he is. They show no compassion for me. They show no love for me. They don't talk with me. They show rage, and a haughty arrogance. They even have had panic attacks just at my presence. When they were coming for weekend visits they would say that I'm "forcing" them and abusing my use of power having the court system help involved. They have called police twice on me for nothing. They pour their dad's venom on me to try and get me to react, and If i react in the slightesst way, they call the police. I have since also discovered that this narcissistic illness my husband has aquired is a narcissistic injury but could also be powered by a certain demonic Spirit called Jezebel. She was a wicked queen. You can read about her in one of the books in the bible called 2nd Kings. She was one of the most vile queens that ever lived, even having children sacrificed to idols. This might seem too deep for some and believe me, I'm a believer in Jesus christ and I also am having difficulty. Mainly becasue I DON"T want to believe it but KNOW demon spirits exist but at least with Spirts I have a chance at fighting through God's spiritual warfare. If this were just an illness (as the world calls it) I might not stand a chance. I'm sorry for all those going through this nightmare. when I read of your stories I'm reminded to pray for all those who have been afflicted with this most horrible of lifes twists. God bless all children afflicted, and God bless you all.
Blessings. I feel the same pain. I'm going thru the same, how can I win?
Michael, Your response really resonates with me. I will say the courts aren't equipped to deal with people who don't want to be fair or nice. It's my experience that nice "guys" (male or female) seem to lose in our court system. My story in brief: I gave up my career as an engineer to support my wife's career and to be a stay-at-home father for 16 years. My wife and I were not a good match, so when I couldn't take it anymore and reached my tipping point, I asked for a divorce. My ex made $1M in the year we separated. She said she wanted to be fair, but she hired the biggest, baddest attorney, and played all the tricks (as an HR exec. who helped many top execs get through their own expensive divorces, she knew exactly what she was doing), until I ran out of money and had to walk away in order to save my sanity. During the separation and the divorce, my ex would never answer my questions when I asked how the kids were doing, what they were up to, etc? That should have been my first clue, but I didn't want to believe she could hurt her kids that way - never mind me. When they moved out, she would not give me their addresses. Fast forward...It's been five years since the separation, and my now 25-year-old son and my 24-year-old daughter haven't spoken to me. I know I was a good dad. My friends know I was a good dad. My parents know I was a good dad. I know I went above and beyond always thinking I only get one chance with them while they are young, so make the effort, and I did! This being shut-out like I was nothing makes absolutely zero sense. It's like a death. It's being in limbo. But perception is everything, isn't it?! I continue to send texts, and e-mails and letters not knowing if they even get through. In the meantime, I've decided to get on with my life and hope my kids eventually figure things out. I hope they have their "Aha!" moment like Ryan. (Thanks for giving me hope, Ryan.) To all of you going through this, I wish you all the best.
What you are doing is amazing Ryan, & so needed. There are no good legal, therapies...just hardly anything & the alienated family doesn't understand. My problem is mom who is a borderline narcissist. She's committed heinous crimes & doesn't even have any legal rights except the every other weekend visitation. She abandoned them when they were babies, but unfortunately came back & took the older one & it is a nightmare past the horrific abuse of PA. Sending so much GRATITUDE & LOVE to you & yours for what you are doing.
coming from a hispanic family with strong family values and morals, I dont understand how my 14 year old daughter just one day decided to not speak to me, two years ago... I know now that her mom and grandma had alot to do with it... I also know that they were raised in that enviroment, thats why they think that there is nothing wrong with the situation... my ex hated her father and didnt speak to him, i encourage her to start calling him... Anyways everyone says my daughter will come around, I hope so, and that she doesnt when it is too late... My dad die and she didnt get a chance to say good bye.. she will regreat that for the rest of her life..
Thank you Ryan! You have no idea how much I sincerely appreciate your videos. We are going through all of this at the moment.
I'm so glad this is giving you hope. There is ALWAYS hope.
My dad alienated me from my mom then my ex husband is trying to ALLIANATION me from my 3 kids. He is so jealous of our relationship I have with the kids. He was doing things that undermined me but as the kids got older he started making the allegations more. I thank GOD I I got them back. Don’t give up!!!!!!!
You just described my life and my childrens life, great job
Thank you so much for your videos. I'm alienated from my sons and you give me hope!
Vicki, I'm so happy to know this is giving you hope. I hope this finds you well and that your situation has evolved. If you are still seeking help, please feel welcome to explore the resources on my site.
Heard from my daughter today for the first time in a little bit. thanks for the help!
Thank you please keep this up. I can't tell you how helpful your words are Ryan.
You are giving hope and that is so appreciated.
Amazing communicator! Thanks for articulating this so well. You are definitely helping me in my journey. God bless.
I have searched high and low for someone just like you sharing your perspective. My ex is a narcissist and a gaslighter. My daughter was in college and my son was in his early teens when the divorce happened. My adult children have not acknowledged me in 8 years. God bless you for what you are doing. I wish I could chat with you privately if possible. I have ordered your program audiobook. I am still going through the series though. Again thanks so much for what you are doing.
Thank you for proving me with the vocabulary to explain my experience to others as an undermined and then alienated mom.
Thank you so much for opening up to us and sharing your story. You have no idea how many of us you are helping. God bless you!
Its not only dads that are alienated from their child. Its devestating to mothers as well.
Of course! Although it usually happens to single fathers as the women in the dissolved relationships almost always get the custody, so they have more opportunity to do so.
Join the club. Just leave the other one first. You're a parent. Doesn't matter what gender you are. We all love and miss out kids. I'm sorry it's happened to you. I've been in this hell for almost 11 years.
Thank you so much you’ve been absolutely a great help because we are dealing with a alienated grand children 🙏❤️
Thank you, Ryan! My son's Father has alienated him from me for years. I have felt hopeless and pray about it every day. You are helping me so much! I appreciate you!!!!
Ryan is a courageous Angel ! God Bless him for shedding Light on this most painful family"Elephant in the Room"/ Bullying cultural malady that no family is exempt from..It has torn my family apart, limb from limb.
Thank you Ryan. This problem is real and as an alienated parent it is heart-wrenching. You are giving me some hope. I miss my kids every day.
Hey this is jeremy from nj I have made so many videos about this but the way you word it is so awesome I think in my videos I will refer people to your videos because it's explained so well thanks and please don't stop making the videos..... what's your relationship with your mother now?
This video gives me hope. Not sure who will give my kids a light bulb moment or if they will get one...but I am sure of one thing...as an alienated parent I made several mistakes too. Thanks Ryan for all the coaching you provided...worth every penny. Still estranged but such is life.
Thank you for giving voice to child victims of parental alienation
Posted this video on other websites. Very good put together video. I
just wish people weren't so complacent and expose these so-called people
of power and get them out of office and disbar corrupted judges.
Thank you Ryan I have been through nearly a 4 year “NIGHTMARE” and couldn’t find help anywhere in Canada!🥶🇨🇦
I am from Canada. There are mamy facebook groups, a Quora space and twitter pages that offer insight and support.
I was alienated from my kids. my older child found me over the internet. it's a long story but she is 25 years old and is homeless been into trouble with the law. my daughter told me about things she had to deal with after her father got full custody. my daughter was not going to school in the care of her father. listening to you seeing a child perspective there might be hope she try's to contact me again. I want to help her I don't want her out in the cold homeless. thanks for your videos
+Rose Perin
I wish you and your daughter well, Rose.
thank you joey that means a lot to me friend.
Rose Perin how did you go with your daughter?
I'm hoping things went well for you both xx
You are saving lives.
I'm proud of the enthusiasm you express towards your father. This absolutely resonates.
hello. my name is Jason R. and I have been and am at my end of the rope of breaking and falling to such a deep dark hole of my soul with being alienated from my 16 and a half year old daughter. I miss her so much,and feel like a part of me is just completely dying inside and already dead. my spirit is shattered and broken
Christina Reynolds keep looking at UA-cam videos,Hun stay strong,have boundaries,keep your own life going,don’t wreck your own life out of guilt,xxxx
Jason, the dark hole will pass, and there is light at the end of the tunnel
I’m right there with you. I have not seen my daughter in over 5 years and my son treats me like a stranger and like Ryan said, I can’t even act like a parent anymore because I’ve become an outsider. I JUST told my son that his disrespect of me on Mother’s Day was not the way I raised him. He and I talked twice the week before then NOTHING!!! I am caught between being grateful for ANY communication with him and still wanting to guide him. It’s a nightmare. Their father actually gave them up and then after 2 years reappeared with money, travel, custom cars ... I’m left broke and isolated. Hang in there and just do the best you can. I pray we all get past this. It’s Stockholm syndrome... 💔💔💔
Wow this is exactly what my 16 year old son feels towards me. THANKYOU
Yes, it does help, it helps a lot! Thank You Ryan
6 alienating parents disliked this video.
Of course they did...darkness likes darkness
But that’s left to chance. We can’t HOPE an outsider will suddenly open their eyes 👀 still waiting... we feel helpless
Thank u so very much
Wow thanks for having a good memory
I rewatch this video and retell this story and am so grateful. Now I am wondering if the client that spoke with you was trying to illustrate they were a good parent. Maybe they knew what situation you were in and took advantage of that? Regardless you realized that you needed your dad in your life, and he never left you. Father's will have a harder time to keep a bond. And that comes from a mother who has lost her children.
Hopeful and Helpful
god bless you Ryan !
I miss my children so bad. 😢😢😢 I've only got to hear from them once in four years. I didn't have the money to fighting ex in court. She made me look like a monster when I wasn't and took everything.😢😢😢 still trying to get the money up to take her back to court. Last I heard my children said I was a bad daddy and said that I wasn't there daddy. That the new guy was.
Your amazing thank you for sharing you have givene so much hope!
Thank you so much for this.
Every day I live under a dark cloud in sadness,disarray,anger,regret. Feeling like a total disappointment and failure to my kids. To my parents,my siblings, friend's and myself. I feel in love with my kids mother when I was in high school. I probably wasn't the best future husband in her eye's. (When I looked in hers they held my world) we had our first of four children just out of high school and I was on top of the world having my baby girl. The day I looked into her eye's I knew my world and life had changed forever. We struggled as young parents to provide the best with what we had. Thier mother was hard working and a devoted mom. I was a young airbrushing artist struggling to make a future with my other love of art and creation. I ended up getting into trouble and going to jail for a few months for my mistake and while I was in jail she cheated which she denied the whole time and got pregnant and told my mom. Which neither told me until just before I was released. Well I swore I wasn't going back to no cheater, but when I went to see my daughter and looked into her eye's again and saw her mother holding her pregnant and alone.....I couldn't leave I stayed and raised our son and daughter giving them my last name. I lived in jealousy and she left things always to be questioned. Which led to alot of arguments with yelling and screaming. Her and her mother always had the final say with everything. And if I corrected the kids. I was always seen out of line. I didnt like my daughter smoking cigarettes she was only fourteen when I found her first pack. Come to find out her mother bought them for her in what I would later find out to be part of her grooming process to work my oldest daughter against me. I had been a cussing her of having an affair with a co worker for over 5 years and I was always hesitant to marry her because she couldn't be faithful. But I did end up asking her to marry me in hopes I was wrong. Well I wasn't she told me she had planned a mother and daughter date. And they were going to spend a night camping at a friend's of my daughter's. Well I knew something was up. She told me to spend time with my oldest son who by the way didn't know at this time I wasn't his biological father, because I was never allowed to tell him the truth wishes from his mother. Well needless to say it was all a lie. She allowed my daughter to take a 16 year old boy to go with them out to her secret lovers house to do whatever with eachother while she did whatever with him all night they lied as I cried to my son that I was sorry for everything. I was devastated that she would do all this just to get my daughter to lie to me so she could plan a new life. We got divorced and I selltle civilly keeping my kids best intrest at heart not wanting them to be away from thier mother even though her actions show that she would put them in any danger no matter the cost. Just to get her way. I did everything I could to see my kids and be in their lives. Thier mom moved them 250 miles away which made it very hard to travel to see them every weekend on top of child support and any other bills. But I managed with the help of friends and family to make it happen up until I couldn't no more. No means of money coming in. The took my license so I can't drive no more do to back child support it's a loose loose for me alll the way around. She put her new man as there primary father for school so I couldn't even get up dates on my kids education or social well being. So took my kids out of state when she got married weeks after our divorce and left them with his family during thier honeymoon witch my kids didn't know and I was never informed of such traveling. They kids my oldest daughter out on the streets without informing me so I could take her in. She ended up getting on drugs and being sexually assaulted and admitted into some facility and I was never informed.. being a victim of sexual abuse myself I know how hard this is and at this time she needed me and my support but her mom kept it from me but told her she informed me and I didn't care. I didnt find out none of this until my oldest daughter got married and I wasn't allowed to walk her down the aisle because of a comment I made to my daughter about not being comfortable about sharing the moment with the man who tookthem all from me. Then my daughter hit me with the worst thing I could ever hear. That I was never there for her when I needed her most. Thier mother has done everything to keep me out of thier lives and still is doing everything in her power to ruin and hurt me over and over. I have no way or means of taking her to court because I have nothing no job no car no money and I only go into more and more debt as my whole life is being taking control of and meanwhile I'm stck in a state of endless depression and sadness and feel hopless and my kids don't even call me on fathers day or really ever any more. My youngest daughter and I had such a great bond that she would call me all the time even if she had to sneek to do it. She got grounded from her phone for a year because of something to do with school they told her. Bit it was just to keep them from talikg to me. But she would sneak her sisters phone and walk way down the road and call me. She made me feel so wanted and needed. My kids got grounded for everything even eating a brownie that my child support pays for. They all were forced to call him dad from the start. When I would call to talk with my kids 90% of the time I was told to call back later because it was family time for them. I love my kids more than anything and I have been deprived of everything a father should have and experience all because of lies and deceit and I don't know who to turn to for help
Going through this now with daughter. No contact in 2 years. She will be 17 this year. I had 50-50 custody since she was 2.5yo. Had numerous psych evals etc and not one would even mention the alienation going on. One therapist stated the problem was with the mother, but refused to testify, stating the courts were too corrupt.
Thank you
Very informative. Do you have any solutions or tips while we're (alienated parents) going through this? Im hoping my 9yr son doesnt have wait until he is an adult to have light bulb moments.
Yes. Continue to make contact with the child, even if the child doesn't respond. Send cards and letters (photocopy before sending and place the copies in a box withe the child's name on them and keep the box for one day you may give it to them). call the child if they have a phone. Call the mother to speak with the child... Constantly. This will wear on the alienator because guilt will overcome them. Be polite to the alienator in all correspondence. Attend and support the childs' school events as much as possible. Always outreach to the child, don't give up.
Thank you.
Wow! So insightful! ;)
In the "LightBulb" moment he was making memories. So that the other parent had no leg to stand on, as when the child grows up he can come back and say "Well, when I went out with hin we did this, or that".
Thank you for sharing. Im a mom going through parental alienation w my son. My aunt has guardianship of him right now. Youve given me insight to whats going on w him. And you have given me hope. Thanx again
The sad thing about parental alienation is that the alienating parent faked raising a child in the faith and now the child is against all that the alienated parent stands for. It is a completely unfixable situation.
thank you so much for what you do to educate. you had mentioned "weekend" parent. do you think you would have seen you dad as a parent if he would have been more present in the school, etc. my kids dad has alienated my children, he actually is still continuing to alienate. I'm at a loss.
I have happen as a dad and now as a grand dad form canada
Ryan, I can't find the follow up video to this one, wherein, you discuss the new dilemma that arises when you have had your lightbulb moment and realize you wanted a relationship w/your dad. I can imagine that was very difficult for you since the regime might've cut you out of their lives for reuniting with your dad
I had sole custody and spent my time enjoying my kids and my time with them and then them to dad's wishing them a good time. My ex now has my son believing everything is my fault, etc...and have not seen or talked to my son since.
Btw I love your videos. You're awesome. Spot on.
Can you talk about your interrogation after coming home from your moms. I know it’s happening when my husbands son goes back home. His son was on restriction for almost a year because the son defended the dad.
Wow.....
Thanks man
What happened with the first parent,and how you relate to her after reunion with the father?
Mothers are now becoming just as alienated as Fathers it’s getting worse in Canada!🥶🇨🇦
I have a question, do you think the alienation would have worked differently if your dad had stayed with your mom till you was 11? Would having those years with your dad prior to the lies and manipulation helped see them for what they are? I'm asking because this is what's happening to my husband now with his ex . It's so hard to watch and not be able to do anything.
My ex husband made it so bad for me with my daughter she is now 35 and she still defends him we do have communication but I can tell she is just torn apart even though her father doesn't even talk to her anymore I think she still hasn't had that moment
I think my son partially saw the truth. But then I moved away because I didn't hear from him in almost a year, and I think he holds that against me now more than what most children would I think he just gave up on our relationship. I'm only a few hours away. But he won't answer my calls or call me back. He's 38 now.
I am a mom that lost custody of my sons when they were 6 and 1, I was newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was trying to find the right meds during the course of my divorce, once I found the right meds I didn’t want the divorce, my ex stopped talking to me, won custody and now my kids are 19 and 14. He is alienating my 14 year old, my oldest couldn’t be. I was always a loving mom. My youngest son stopped talking to me over a year ago and seeing me and I flipped out. I suggested therapy, was viewed as threatening, my son became even more Distant. Anytime I talk to dad or teachers about counseling, Adin is shown the emails by dad and I look like the bad guy. Adin told me his point of view and now I fear I lost him for good. He even made me feel like our relationship will never happen.
People! This happens to women too!
Same thing with me. My child won't even say a word now.
thanks again
Yes!
But the funnier part about all of this my mother did that to me with my father and she was actually his lover and I started to have a relationship with my father at 46 years old tell me how that repeats itself
Can someone please tell me...what if I cry when I finally get to see them tonight??? Do I do my best to not cry and cry before hand? I know I"m suppose to be very unemotional but happy and normal. Right? I am going to watch more on Ryan's info since I JUST discovered it...and buy his program but in the meantime I NEED to know...anyone?
A 11+ year old battle story: My daughter McKenna Butcher was taken by her Mother over 11 years ago aged 8 months old and isolated me from any contact. After 5 years of Court intervention the judges, therapists and guardians finally lost patience with her alienating mother and the court awarded me full custody which was nearly a year ago. Sadly - this does not yet have any hint of a happy ending as she fled with her and is presumably being hidden by her "Regime" supporters. She appeared in a 10 second slot on John Walsh's program last night but thus far the FBI have been unable to locate her. I will not give up though - and you shouldn't either. Mike Butcher
My daughter carries on her shoulder Stockholm Syndrome she still defends him with all of the harm that that that man did manded no matter what I try to do I just walk around with pain cause I don't know what to do
My ex husband brainwashed her so bad her rejection towards me was so horrible I actually had to back off it was that bad
Exelent video...... my daughter was alienated when she was 5 and she is 22 and she is still alienated... this has been happenig too much in Argentine.. laws are all for women, and just for been a male you are violent for argentinian laws...
best regards,,, a big bear hug..
Would an alienated child watch THIS video and have a lightbulb 💡 moment or not recommended?!! 😪😪😪
Hi Ryan. I am the new wife of the alienated father. The ex wife ( I see her)
My question is how do I help my heartbroken husband help his adult children ( 33 and 28) see through the years of manipulation and heartbreak towards their father. I am of course viewed as a major threat and quite simply the witch from the west. Obviously the ex wife is doing everything in her power to paint the two adult childrens father in the worst possible light and they believe all. Then of course myself ( not worried about me). It’s just horrible to see and hear how the girls speak and demean their father and suddenly cut him from their lives. I’m sure you have seen the pattern.
It’s sad for me to see both my husband and his two girls go through this.
Is there anything I can do. ???
Thank you in advance. Kind regards jackie.
Angry as cant get the help which my boy needs so heartbreaking he is my world and breaks me but need therapy impossible so bad please help uk
I am an alienated Mother. I only want to learn from tbe children, not adults who failed to mature for the government to prey on their families. Alienators need psychological help.
An outsider like some self righteous so called pastor of his cult gives the justification to allow this type of alienation to prosper has just as much negative effect as a positive influence. It seems it takes ten positives to over ride one negative.
Anyone who plants doubt, is telling you about the devil they serve.
Please put closed caption (not automatic closed caption) but write/type sentences in your video so I can understand thank you. The automatic closed caption will not repeat exactly what you say. I have a good male friend who trying to see his own son but the mother use the child as a weapon to punish.
I wanted to know if your father early on said negative things about you mother? then she using those comments as a basis year and year after, to help qualify her doing what she did. And did your dad write you with than your mother using these letters picking out choice words and his sentiments as a tool to say to you.... "look see your dad is acting inappropriate"....If you had a chance to read my email I sent over a few days ago, it may give you a little back ground on what I ask...feel free to respond if wish, publicly - there is nothing I feel needs to be hidden - again thanks for your effort...Brian
How many years have we cried out in pain. A smear campaign loaded up to destroy just one person. Yet this whole group of idiots are clueless to the covert abuse inflicted on just one parent and all the kids. My girls are 33 and 35 now and the ripple effect still affects everyone. Expect the alienator is a homeless junkie now and cut off from all her kids. It's sad when you know you tried to expose this abuse but years later it is still the same.
excellent\\
This sounds familiar. I seldom get to keep my daughter for the weekend and I tend to shell out the money on our visitation. She's slowly but surely coming around and warming up to me. She's 15 years old now and starting to see things for herself.
His dad keeps ckose attentiona dn any one that has a different view point he tells my grandson their not to be trusted
Am living 3years but no help and still going on the system is a joke please help read so much its just not try
If you didn't need me why did u operate on me after my husband married me.
Pls add new talks....
yeezus,, while it's good you provide moral support to alienated parents, if you really want to make a difference you need to be politically active w Drs. Childress, Gottlieb, Baker and others to educate the psychological community about what real alienation is. It's not even in the DSM-V. They are fucking us over BIG TIME.
If you are in the taliban of decision making... why are you still at ut 15 years later.