my birth story // failed induction
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- Опубліковано 16 вер 2024
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Thank you for listening ❤
Girl the hospital I had my daughter at was also a teaching hospital I had 7 other students in there with my dr. Looking at my hoo-ha and everything God gave me. But I was asked permission if the students could do anything. The fact they didn't ask permission is beyond wrong and should be reported. That is never okay and I am sorry you went through that
I am a doctor and when i heard you say "balloon" all I wanted to do was hug you.
I'm so sorry that happened to you Lisa! I'm glad you are okay, I definitely struggled to advocate for my birth as well but it is not your fault they should have known better❤❤
💕💙🌼 Here for you Lisa!🌼💙💕
@lisbug , Bless You I'm so sorry all this happened to you I was hoping that things happen gotten so much better with induction but after hearing your birth story I'm doubting it. When you mentioned being induced I made a comment but didn't want to scare you I wish I had said something more . I'm so happy that today you are getting therapy to deal with your experience in 1993 I was told to just be quiet that people have had it so much worse than I did to be thankful I had a healthy baby. I do wish I had got to talk to someone about my 3 day induced labor and delivery which they wouldn't even discuss a C-section which caused years of problems for myself until I had to have a hysterectomy. Lisa keep telling your experience don't let anyone silence you we go in trusting these professionals we don't know and they are just human like all the rest of us some are wonderful professionals and some aren't. I do understand you feeling violated and certain things being said are inappropriate even though they may not mean it to be when you said that part all the feelings I had about my experience things being done to my body and jokes being said making me feel icky inside. I feel privileged that you decided to share your birth experience with us never ever let anyone ever diminish your feelings they are valid. Lisa you did a excellent job telling your memory of what happened maybe someday Jeff might be willing to do a sit down with you and tell whatever his perception was it might help other significant others be able to process the experience. Sorry this is so long ❤ sending you Healing Thoughts and Blessings.🌟💛🌟
In my country, we call it, gynaecological or obstetrical violence. They don’t explain anything, they do their things, then you feel violated. Your pain is legit and it’s good that you talk about it.
Question, does this only apply to pregnant people or can this also apply to just regular gynaecology? Also may I ask which country?
Seconding @StephPavao
@@StephPavao regular gynaecology. Exemple would be like procedure like biopsy or iud insertions done without painkiller, etc. Where the pain of the woman is not taken seriously. I’m from Canada, but from Quebec, I cannot talk about the other provinces.
I'm sure people have told you this already. But just in case you need to hear it still, your body didn't fail you. The medical system did. Your body was NOT ready. And your doctor's forced it. Most hospitals DO NOT give pitocin when you're not dilated for this exact reason. In my opinion this was absolutely medical malpractice. And I'm so sorry you had to go through this
10000% agreed. I work in healthcare, labor and delivery specifically. This was malpractice and neglect.
Right!!!! I've been induced 4 times. They always start with cervical softeners and then work up to pitocine.
Unfortunately it is incredibly hard to prove malpractice during a birth( from our personal experience)
My 1st 3 inductions took 24hrs plus
But with my 4th the cervical softeners we enough and she was born in only 13 hours
@@robsgirl7778I only received pitocin (nor my wonderful epidural) after I was well into labor however your experience matches more what I’ve heard w inductions.
As a labor and delivery nurse, this INFURIATES me how you felt violated through those cervical exams. I’m sorry your nurse didn’t advocate for you throughout your labor process. I’m also surprised that they didn’t use misoprostol or cervidil to soften your cervix before going straight to pitocin. As a first time mom, it’s been proven to use cervical ripening agents like those medications before going to pitocin increase your chances of having a successful vaginal delivery.
What I don’t understand is why they felt she needed to have the baby. Why not let her body do what it was built for. I don’t think her water broke. Why not do what a lot of other hospitals do and wait until she is moving along more naturally. It seems like her body was clearly not ready yet. Why the absolute rush. I’m the hospital I was at 4x, you had to be 4cm or your water broke. Otherwise we wouldn’t be admitted. It just seems like such unnecessary trauma
I'm an OB RN as well and I got so damn angry I cried at that part. I can't imagine working in women's health and not feeling absolutely humbled and honored to fight for my patients' during the most vulnerable and powerful moments in their lives. I know it doesn't mean anything now, but Lisa, I would've been holding your hand (if you needed), would've told that resident to sit down and wait for the attending. With the amount of pain you were in, I would have had an honest, empathetic conversation about pain control, about the safety and benefits of fentanyl in this situation. Hell, would've called your regular OB to have that conversation if it made you more comfortable. The fact that your healthcare providers added this much to your trauma so needlessly disgusts me. I'm so sorry.
Ooh Lisa, Thank you so much for telling your story.
As a medical student I can’t believe the doctor didn’t advocate for you in that vulnerable moment, trying to explain the options for you to pick. The male doctor making gross unnecessary jokes made me sick.
I’m so sorry for everything you went thu. You’re such a warrior, I’m proud of you!
(By the way, if you can get the hospital a feedback about the practices that wasn’t helpful please do! I don’t know how it works in the US but here it usually help)
When I was in labor and of course in pain, I was thrashing my head around and the nurse said something like I looked like The Exorcist. Nurses and doctors are just people and a fair share of them are actual book-smart morons. I know that is not you, by the way. You are going to be caring and awesome. ❤
@@aksez2u that’s awful! I’m so sorry.
People that can’t be empathetic absolutely should choose another career.
Is a must have in the health care field to me.
I hope everything is great in your life now❤️
@@Hjg936 Thank you! You are going to be amazing! And I agree about other careers, or at least other departments where the patients aren't so vulnerable. (Maybe that doesn't exist) I can laugh about it now, and that baby just turned 27 😮! All is well.
@@aksez2u thank you! I’ll do my best ❤️
I had no idea you’re 40! You look late 20s not even kidding. I’m 36 pregnant with my first! (Baby girl) I’m due November 17th. My sister is 40 and had her first at 39. Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you went through so much. I’m glad you and your baby are doing well too.
I had to go back and rewatch that part to make sure i heard 40 right cuz i didn’t believe it 😅
I only believe it because I know she was in her late 20s when she started this channel and that was 12 or 13 years ago
My birthday is November 17th! Congrats, and best wishes for your Scorpio girly 🥰
@@Oheyitsmandy1 thank you! My best friend’s birthday is November 18th! I’m actually being induced tomorrow so her birthday will be next few days but still a Scorpio!!
I love this! I’m 32 and we are struggling to have our first !
This is EXACTLY what happened to me! I had my baby a month ago and the amount of trauma I have felt I don’t think I can recover from that. Thank you so so for sharing because I feel less alone.
Keep telling your story. It truly was one of the only things that helped me through my traumatic birth. The more I told it the less it effected me. And stop thinking people have it worse. That’s irrelevant. Your trauma is important l. ❤
I know this was was for Lisa but I wanted to say Thank you for saying this I was told to just hush I was wanting attention now in fairness this was in January 1993 . I think I would have been able to cope with everything that my body went through better the end story is I never got a C section. Please everyone find your voice speak up for yourself. I hope Lisa sees your comment.❤
I'm over 30 and currently single, not sure if I want children or not but this video, instead of scaring me, actually feels kinda helpful. I mean, I'm an introvert and a people pleaser so hearing someone say that they should've not agreed to certain things, makes me more prepared to do it myself.
I'm sorry that you had to go through it all and thank you for sharing your story.
Thank you for feeling safe enough to share your story with us. My sister in law went 36 hours before they finally did a C-section. It makes no sense why they put women through so much.
I laboured 72 hours after I was induced but I was dilating progressively, though slowly, my baby was doing okay the whole time, and I was happy to continue. We managed a vaginal birth. long labours could be fine if the person labouring is content with the situation and is managing pain well enough.
36 hours is crazy. Luckily if your water breaks there's usually a 24 hour time limit as there's increased risk of infection 🙃. My body doesn't like to dilate either, but thankfully water broke 2/3 times
Similar story too! I was 36 hrs in labor, stuck at 2-3cm, had to get the epidural TWICE! I got a c section by my wonderful OB, I had so much trust in her. I just hated the experience
Thank you for sharing Lisa. Birth stories, the good the bad and the traumatic, are so important to share and gather community around. People sharing their stories was so important for me going into having my first baby 2 years ago and still now going into having my second in January. Much love. I'm glad you are here and working through what happened and sharing with others. ❤
My pleasure. Sending you so much love and strength.
@@lisbugI just wanna give you a big hug! I'm sorry for what happened to you. Give yourself grace and don't blame what happened on yourself. We do the best we can with the information we have. Your story will help someone else. I hope you can find peace with your story but your feelings right now are so very valid. Hugs.
Medical stuff gives me panic, so I feel you, girl. You're the epitome of strength.
I know a lot of people traumatised by birth. Something needs to change in the way women’s health is dealt by the medical profession. Don’t beat yourself for not advocating for yourself or not doing more, my sister is a nurse she understands everything that it’s going on and has no problems calling people out, but even her had an horrific birth where every single one of her wishes was ignored.
Something has to change with hospital birth. I don't know anyone who didn't have a traumatizing hospital birth.
I also had a traumatic birth and had to go to therapy for it. You're not alone Lisa ❤️
I had 3 wonderful hospital births. Not saying that in a bragging manner, but just so you know we’re out there. I agree with you though, in that things need to change, we need to be respected as human beings.
@@ngs5554same. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard of a lot of traumatic hospital births. But luckily mine was smooth (water broke prematurely at 35 weeks) and they were very patient and luckily I gave birth 2 days later vaginally. There was only one instance that was awful but it was just my nurse and the main doctor being a bit negligent but otherwise everything was smooth.
As a doula, thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for your experience and whatever feelings that you have toward your birth are valid. I hope you can find peace through therapy, in time. You’re a great mom Lisa ❤
I wanna reach through the screen and hug you Lisa!🥺 thank you for sharing your story and being brave! I think it’s so important to share our birth experiences and I’m glad your therapist convinced you🙏🏻💓
Is this the channel of a person who killed their dog?
@@crazyeight6782 indeed
bro I feel worse about your dog
All I keep thinking while you’re talking about your experience is…… “damn…..that’s some serious trauma you went through …. And you came out the other side of it with such grace, and quite frankly, some bad ass super mom energy!” Way to go Lisa! Seriously I am so impressed with your strength! ❤❤❤
My son was born 1 week ago today and this EXACT thing happened to me. How emotionally draining. I didn't even know this was a possibility going into it. Thankful for my healthy baby boy. Praise God!
The balloon is called a foley bulb. They didn’t let me dilate to get it in and tried to force it over and over and it was awful. I feel you on that. I also had a traumatic birth. I had a 36 hour labor and then a c section. I also had to have my epidural done twice. You are not alone! Our babies are worth it but giving birth is no joke!
My first birth, they made my husband hold me down and actually cover my mouth so I wouldn't scream when they put the bulb in. My second birth when I barely felt it I was so confused and the obgyn was so upset at the other hospital on my behalf
@@XxSuperSuspiciousxX outrageous!
When you talked about your husband talking to you and being there for you made me cry. It took me back to when I had my c-section with my daughter. I needed my boyfriend to talk to me while they take her out, I was so scared (I normally dont get scared of much). Thanks for saying your story. I’m glad you and baby are ok ❤
As a midwife i'm so sorry you had such a difficult experience bringing your baby into the world.
If you're planning to have any more children i would HIGHLY recommend doing some in-depth birth classes like calmbirth or shebirth - they are amazing at helping you to find tools to cope with high stress and to be in touch with yourself and your body during that time.
It’s also so important to prepare yourself for the ins and outs of what might happen during the process.. eg procedures
Healthcare professionals can only prepare you so much in the moment while they are focused on keeping you & your baby safe. Xx
Yes I did hypnobirthing and went with a midwife and for the most of my birth I was very very calm!
This was my first labor to a T. I ended up being able to deliver vaginally, but I went in on a Wednesday morning and didn’t have my son until Friday afternoon. When they broke my water, they couldn’t “hook it” right so they just kept basically stabbing up in there and twisting and pulling while I was screaming for them to stop. Just for them to say “we almost got it… we almost got it” when they didn’t. It’s horrible. Doctors don’t listen at all during inductions it feels like because they just want to get us in and out.
Hi, I have a 3week old daughter and thanks to people like you who speak out about their birth story I manage to speak for myself and demanded c-section when my induction failed before something bad happened to me or my baby girl. Thank you for your openness and honesty. Please never change ❤❤❤
My favorite thing to do since becoming a mom is listen to birth stories. Like yes, tell me every last detail i am so invested emotionally right now.
I work in an ER, and I’ll let you know, most doctors and staff there only see people as patients. They don’t see them as actual people. Kind of sounds like what you experienced. I’m so sorry. I also had a horrible c section experience, and that’s one of the reasons why I’ll never have another baby.
Thank you for sharing to help more women advocate for themselves. We trust providers to have our best interest in mind but sometimes we find out they don’t or view alternatives as “failures”. Often Doctors don’t realize they have become desensitized to these huge medical events that the patient has not gone through before.
I hope your healing journey brings you peace.
I wish I could hug you. I had my baby 2 months early and it was an insane experience. You can only act on what you know when you know it, I can empathize feeling grief. Lean into your support system and know that YOU DID IT. You’re a wonderful mother who went though hell to bring your little one into life. A beautiful life with you and Jeff ❤
You are spot on when it comes to self-advocating about your own healthcare! Ask all the questions. Say no when you are unsure or not understanding something enough. Ask more questions. Patients have rights and patient education is so important. Big red flags should go off if you're made to feel like you're asking too many questions or want another opinion. BIG red flags.
Oh Lisa, that sounds so traumatic. I’m glad you and baby ok!
It's our story!! xox
I am sooo incredibly sorry your team made you feel that way. It is SOOO hard to stand up for yourself in the moment, in the middle of the night, when you dont work in the medical field, with strangers, while in such a vulnerable position mentally and physically.
It is good to hear you have such a good relationship with your dr. That trust is so important. I was terrified of a c section due to personal trauma. My dr knew this. So even though i didnt want an epidural, when she came to me and said i needed it, i did it. And i trusted our ability to communicate. And it made such a huge difference.
I just want to say that I relate to this so much more than you know. I went in on a Sunday at almost 42 weeks and they decided to induce me and I didn’t have him until Wednesday. I didn’t get the epidural until the 3rd day and a student did it, and he kept hitting my nerves and making me jerk and they were like yelling at me to stay still. I had the foley bulb too and I know how extremely painful it was, they tried with their hands first but I clenched so hard and screamed and so they did the metal clamp thingy instead. And then at 4cm it fell out but my body still wouldn’t progress. So on the third day they broke my water, found meconium in the water and immediately rushed me into a c section which of course is terrifying in its own right. Had a 10lb baby which is why I was having such a hard time. It is extremely intimate and invasive and my heart goes to you. I don’t hear stories like mine very often. Sending you positive vibes that you’re not alone.
It is so so important to educate and teach your husband/partner to advocate for you. Being expected to do it all yourself while in labor is insane. You did a great job mama Lisa, and dad Jeff; do not blame yourself for anything.
As a woman who has experienced something similar, I had to have a balloon inserted and was put on Patosin, I understand I wasn’t given an epidural. I was in an emergency situation and we lost our son I understand not feeling like you have any autonomy. I feel for you lots of love for you and your family!❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I love that you are so willing to share your true experiences. I am glad you are going to therapy for this and I hope that as time passes you will be able to look back and not feel so much grief. I also had a crazy experience with birth, but now 10 months later I barely think of it. I just feel grateful that me and my babies came out of it healthy.
I completely related when you talked about going in for the C-section and everyone is chatting like it's another day in the office. I was so freaking terrified and they were literally takling to each other about going skiing last week or some dumb sh*t like that. It was so biazrre the way they were just small talk chatting with each other and I felt like I wasn't even a person to them, I was just a piece of equpiment they were working on or something. If it weren't for my husband and the amazing anesthesiologist, I would've felt so alone in that moment.
Childbirth is so personal and it’s so incredibly vulnerable whether it’s medical or not trauma associated with birthing stories is so common thank you so much for sharing your story you are giving voice to the thousands of women who have been neglected in medical practices
I’m so sorry you had a bad experience. I also carry some birth trauma with myself, I’ve had 2 emergency c sections. I’m also a nurse and this is a good reminder to all medical professionals to always think of the patients perspective! The resident really should have introduced themselves and asked if it was okay if they were to do the exam. I had medical students fully introduce themselves and ask if they could do a pelvic exam when I was in labour. They also made sure to tell me it’s okay to decline it! Also pelvic exams are painful when you aren’t dilated very much and the cervix is posterior. But when you dilate and the cervix moves anterior it isn’t painful at all.
Thank you for sharing, especially the "gross" medical parts. It's truly important to pull back the curtain on these procedures and share experiences. Shows how far the medical system has come..never as far as you think.
So sorry you went through all that! It was 28 years ago when I had a similar experience, spent all weekend at home laboring, hoping for a natural birth. My previous child was born through c-section. NO ONE told me my cervix failed to open during my previous birth. The epidural was placed incorrectly and I also felt the operation, from the first cut to the splitting of the muscles. I also was out of it for a few days due to the amount of meds given. I’m sending prayers and positive thoughts for you❤
there really is a lack of communication between health professionals and patients.
Half hour into your story and it feels like you're telling my birth story 😔 I was in labor for 5 days before they finally had me in for a csection
HOLY MOLY! You warrior!!!
I also have a similar birth story to hers and so do many other people I know. For me the traumatic part is all the stuff they did to try and induce instead of just going to a c-section quicker. I suggested it, but should have just straight out asked- instead i felt like a lab rat for over 24 hours, and it kind of felt like they were checking boxes even though I was really never that close to delivery. This was at almost 42 weeks too.
i just need to comment again because it's all SO relatable - the balloon, the peanut, the one side, the babies heart rate dropping. All of it. And everyone I know that has this exact story ends up with a c-section. I'm like so stumped if any of these methods actually work at all. @@lisbug
There was a newspaper that anonymously asked doctors what they recommended but would never do themselves. One answered a natural birth. Too risky.
@@roxita7097wtf really? Why does usa have high c section rate but bad stats for death and complications in childbirth?
A resident is NOT a student. A resident is a doctor. Your pain is valid and I am so sorry you experienced this. Some of the comments made were terrible and disgusting.
I am so sorry to hear about all this. It’s hard enough to be pregnant, in labor, and a tired new mother without having to deal with all that extra BS. So glad you and the baby are healthy and you are healing from the trauma and health issue. Hugs.
I've been putting off watching this video because I had a feeling it would closely mirror my own experience and wasn't quite ready to hear it. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone in this experience and I appreciate you sharing your story. Hope you are healing.
So much of your story is similar to mine with my second a few months ago. Induction, sooo many pelvic exams, heart decelerations, could only lie on my left side for hours. But my doctor was pretty adamant on not letting it go on too long for the health of both of us so we went to a c-section around 13 hours after induction. Was the right decision, she had the cord wrapped around her neck three times and she was coming face first, so she was never going to be able to come out on her own. It's pretty traumatic feeling like your agency has been taken away from you, let alone everything else you experienced. I have found just talking it through regularly has helped to lessen the panic I felt every time I thought about it. Thanks for sharing too as it also can really help other mums who have gone through birth trauma feel not alone
It would be so wonderful if any woman experienced a traumatic birth that they could get counseling after birth. It would have helped me and I never had it. I’m so glad that you are getting the support that you deserve.
I'm still watching the video, but I have to tell you my trauma experience of cervix checks. During my first delivery we kept having to get my cervix check because the induction took close to three days. In the middle of the night on my first night I had a new nurse check my cervix, but she wasn't sure what she felt so her trainer came in to check my cervix and she couldn't tell so she kept checking. In the middle of the final check, she kept trying to go deeper and I started screaming telling her to stop and she held me down and continued. I even screamed I'm telling you to stop! It was very emotional for me, and my husband had fallen asleep at this point, so I was on my own and so scared. After that experience she walked off crying and I was crying. She came back later an apologized and said she kept going because she didn't want to have to do it again. My doctor the next day couldn't understand what they were trying to do. It was horrible but my baby is here and healthy, but it was absolutely horrible.
Oh my goodness! That's horrendous! I'm so sorry that happened to you xx
This is a tale as old as time. Women are very vulnerable while pregnant and wanting it all to just be done with already.
It is grief. You're grieving lost hopes and dreams.
My mother had 7 pregnancies and 6 children. She told me that she never experienced childbirth until she went with me to have my 2nd daughter. She was put to sleep every time amd woke up with a baby. I wanted the full experience and that's what I got and then some.
I'm glad alls well that ends well.
Very scary. I am so blessed to have had non-traumatic births with all three of my babies. I had alot of people checking me and stuff but was in pain so it didn'treally faze me. I also had midwives which I highly recommend them..they are amazing!I cannot believe the traumatic birth stories that I've heard about here on UA-cam. Poor women! I'm so sorry you had a shitty experience, but so glad you are here and ok and your daughter is healthy. ❤ as well
My sister had a very similar experience (minus the heart stuff). It's sad that women have so little control and a chance for informed consent. We don't learn enough in school, during pregnancy, or even through all our OBGYN appts. You're a champ.
Love you Lisa, I cried with you. It is amazing that you and Annie are both here and healthy. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. I was high risk with both of my pregnancies due to gestational diabetes. But here is my story about my first pregnancy, besides being high risk everything went ok until my 38th week. There was high protein count in my urine, but they told me to just cut back on eating high protein food, so I did. In my 39th week I started to have headaches and started to have a iron taste in my mouth. So I went to my normal appointment which was at 8am on a Monday (Dec.23) I didn’t have anything to eat that morning. I told my OBGYN the symptoms I was having they ordered blood test. So I was told just waited around. Then was greeted with a wheelchair and told I needed to get to L&D asap. While in the observation room it had no windows and I didn’t know at the time the clock was broken. So I assumed it was 11am/pm the entire time. I did not know I had been in the hospital for over 14 hrs at that point. I was admitted and told I had server preeclampsia. At this point I was on the verge of having a seizure. They gave me magnesium sulfate to help prevent a seizures, if you have not had magnesium sulfate it feels like someone lit your body on fire. They induced me Monday night, they popped my water sac Tuesday morning like around 3 am. By oxygen levels were low, had to be put on oxygen, my blood pressure was way to high, Tuesday night my kidneys and liver were failing, Wednesday morning (Christmas day) my heart and my child’s heart were starting to fail. We had no choice but to do an emergency C-section. Spent almost 2 weeks in the hospital afterward I was almost 9cm as well. But I was told if I attempted to push my heart would stop. Similar situation happened with my second pregnancy. Ended up having 2 emergency C-section the. Told that if I attempted to give birth again I might not survive the birthing process.
My heart breaks for you. You are such a strong woman!!!! I could not imagine enduring what you went through. Giving you a BIG hug!!!!!
@lisbug your story is identical to mine with my son. I labored for 36 hours pumped full of every drug u can imagine, still in so much pain! They finally took me for emergench c-section only for me to crash and them having to fully sedate me and my son ended up in the nicu for 3 weeks afterward. I was so traumatized! I was 38 years old as well for context, also my 2nd baby.
Thank you for sharing your story. I had a failed induction that resulted in a pretty emergent c section almost a year ago. As the year mark is approaching I am so anxious and having nightmares. I was so drugged up and could not stop shaking. I couldn’t hold my baby for a long time. I also missed out on the first bonding moments. The flashback moments are so real. The rush of everyone around, but also just “another day at the office” feeling like you said. I’m so happy you and your baby are safe and healthy now. I wish you the best on your continued health recovery.
My labor pains were in my back and holy cow they are the worst thing I've ever felt in my life for hours and hours ❤️ girl you are strong
When you spoke about Jeff being in your face calming you down was the tears moment :)
I was induced with my third child and the induction part was needed and I accepted that but the way it went down was awful and I could spend hours explaining the trauma that happened and I even being my third didn’t speak up or advocate for myself xo I’m glad you made this video because we should totally be reminded that we even though may not be the drs or the professionals we know our bodies and our instincts and we should trust them . Xo I love you so much ! Please give yourself grace and peace . You are amazing and a beautiful warrior ❤
Being induced is my only regret from my birth, my placenta was likely to start failing so they said induction or c section and I should have gone with what my gut told me the whole pregnancy but they told me we were both healthy enough for induction. The induction was uncomfortable and I hated it and so did my baby, his heart rate started dropping unless I laid in one very specific position and this happened with every contraction! They decided I needed an emergency c section within a few hours and it was the best decision! I had a really pleasant experience and we were both safe which was all that mattered!
It’s nice to hear other people’s birth stories. I too had a pretty traumatizing birthing story. I’m still trying to process it all and my baby girl is now 19 months old. We are beginning talks of having another baby, and I keep thinking back and getting scared. But I know now there were a few times where I should have spoken up more, so I’m trying to not let that fear get to me too much. I will also be going to a different doctor if and when we do have another child.
I also buried my birth story for a long time because everytime I thought about it I would cry uncontrollably. Mine was during covid and my husband was not allowed to stay the whole time. I was only at 37 weeks but induced for seceral red flags picked up during my routine visit. They tried 3x over 3 days, the first via foley balloon then 2x cervadil. All failed and baby was too fragile for pitocin, they didnt even want to use the cervadil. My husband was there for the balloon at least but not the many other times I had drs coming in sticking the full hands inside me. Many were rude, rough and did not introduce themselves, much less tell me what they were doing or ask for my consent. At several points I was screaming at them to stop they caused me so much pain, but they always just kept going. I was never once offered pain relief before during or after any of it. The cervix closed back up completely after they had to remove the foley balloon after the 12 hrs... zero dilation was achieved and I was gutted that such a painful procedure did nothing. The first cervadil fell out in the toilet a bit early because I was still bleeding profusely from the trauma of the balloon. The Drs blamed me and made me feel like I had done something wrong. I did not sleep at all for 3 days from the discomfort then they said I had to have the c section. The c section was the best part even though I was throwing up and being rocked around. Baby was high up so they had to squeeze her out and it hurt my rubs were I wasn't numbed. I was paralysed and sleep deprived and left to look after my baby alone for the whole first night. No nurse came because they were too busy to help, not even for my required obs and husband was sent home so I was stuck. I was on day 4 of no sleep and left having to hold the baby so they could stay safe all night. I was in hospital for another 3 days and that was brutal as well.
Im so sorry you experienced that, its similar to one of mine this is why i now am anti induction, drs like to push them so hard because they can co trol numbers in the delivery ward, i found out this after mine was forced apon me. I truly believe most failed inductions are because ur body just isnt ready and you cannot force labour. Most positive inductions i find are usually women who probably would of went into labour naturally without intervention and there bodys were ready so had a positive reaction to the methods they use. I hope your healed now from your birth trauma❤
Thank you for sharing. I have a very similar birth story and it was a year ago but to hear someone talk about it was very therapeutic for me to feel like I wasn’t alone as no one I know had a similar birth story to me. My baby was in the NICU I feel due to poor choices on my medical staff as I feel they didn’t listen to me. My baby is doing fantastic now but it was still very difficult to deal with the trauma of that experience, so just thank you for being so open. I’m crying so I hope this all makes sense lol, but just felt like you needed to know that you helped someone else heal.
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This is what I went through as well, minus the heart issue. As a solo mum it was horrible, still think about it almost 10 years later. I refuse any medical things to do with someone else going near my “girlie bits”. Hearing someone else that went through it is horrible but it makes me relieved that it wasn’t just me. Enjoy all the bubba cuddles.
I had a horrible experience as well and relate to this so much! One thing I remember - I was genuinely mad everybody only shared the good things about it! It would've been less traumatizing if I would have heard other bad experiences.
You are so right! I felt the exact same way about birth and postpartum…no one really prepared me for all of the things and feelings.
To be honest I had the same situation but I had a much more positive and trusting perspective going in. I'm not sure how much the doctors and nurses supported or explained things during the process but for me as long as I knew why we were doing the meds, balloon, etc and I knew how it was done, I trusted them and all my babies have been super healthy and they actually ignored my wishes during my 1st baby as well, but I found out later that it was because his o2 was low and his chord was wrapped around his neck. Sometimes the med peeps just know best and yes they can forget to be human sometimes which sucks and leads to problems, but most of them just try to keep all their patients as healthy and safe as possible. I hope you can heal from this and have more kiddos and better experiences that don't leave scars. I'm sorry this experience was painful and wish you the best.
It sounds like during your cervical checks they were attempting to sweep your membranes to help you go into full labor because while cervical checks are uncomfortable they shouldn’t be intense and painful
Thank you Lisa ❤️❤️ I had a traumatic birth as well in 2020, I’m still struggling myself, especially when her birthday comes around. I’m so sorry that happened.
Bless your heart! The balloon sounds so incredibly painful. The pelvic exams are painful enough. 😢
There was a lack of professionalism in the way that they were dealing with you with that balloon 100%. I had three C-sections and there is no shame in it when I went to my doctor for my second child, they tried to talk me into a vaginal to the point where I actually told him if you don’t give me a C-section I will go to another doctor that will. And I had three C-sections all together and I wouldn’t do it any other way either feel like your story really resonates I remember after being in labor for days when they came in to tell me they were going to do a C-section. they all seem disappointing and I was like get this baby out! I’m glad you had a good outcome and you have your beautiful daughter.❤
I’m happy you have Annie & you’re both healthy now. 💕
Im crying from reading all the wonderful comments from other healthcare professionals 🥺 Luckily, there are still some good ones in the world. ❤❤
My labor was not traumatic other than back labor, but I constantly felt looked down upon in post-partum by the healthcare professionals. Nothing was working, we had no help, I didnt sleep. The pressure to breastfeed is absolutely insane, or it was back then anyways. And they wouldnt even allow me to pump!!! I was producing way too much and he was not taking it all. He was also jaundice. After a few days they hooked me up to a pump and I just sat there fully engorged, chest hard as a rock, looking like a zombie.
I dont believe he was colic, but it was almost as bad for the first few weeks or more at home. He couldnt hold anything down, and would take forever to feed. I eventually went into psychosis after the first week and was out in a 72hr hold. Was back home a week later.
This was 13yrs ago, and I hope no one goes through what I did 😢
Thank you for sharing! I also had a traumatic "failed" induction that ended in a c section. A little different since I had severe preeclampsia and delivered at 34 weeks. Sending so much love!!
Everything Lisa is saying here is SOOO TRUE ~ Listen To Your Gut Intuition People ( It's a God Given Gift To Us All To Survive ) I can remember a dentist years ago telling me I had to remove 4 molars to make room for braces to straighten my teeth. MY GUT FEELING was THIS IS CRAZY yanking perfectly good teeth out just to make room. That was when I was 18 years old. I'm In my 50s now with major bone lose and crowding on my lower teeth. The hygienist told me recently ~ her words " We now know that was wrong for us to do back then and that process isn't done anymore " And I'm like ~ My body and mind knew it was wrong then ~ But were all brought up to think these people are some how above us questioning them. And whether its giving birth, pulling teeth, or ANY PROCEDURE BIG OR SMALL~ *LISTEN TO YOUR GUT*
Girl I got induced also and had a room with no window and I TOTALLY feel the same way
This window thing is important! I have to ask my daughter when she calls if she has a window. She had baby 2 days ago after 41 hours of labor from failed induction that led to c section. So she's been in a room for 4 days. Can't imagine the inability to know day from night!
Sending you so much love, Lisa! Thank you for being so open and vulnerable ❤️ I am sure your story will help many people! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm almost done with this video (42 minutes in) and our stories are so similar besides I didn't get the balloon and my c section surgery, the actual surgery, was such a cool experience even though I was scared bc that was my first surgery ever. I also very much relate to post c section just being totally out of it. Like that first like 3-4 days I don't remember much and I felt so helpless with my baby. My husband and nurses did 99% of everything. Now I'm so thankful that I can do the things. But even though birth can bring trauma, you did it and I did it and that's a badge of honor in and of itself. Then you get your beautiful baby. Congrats mama. ❤️❤️
I’m so heartbroken to hear your story, one which is all too common in the industrial obstetric complex in the US and other developed countries. You are at no fault for anything that happened, there is an innate power imbalance between birthing women and doctors in the hospital which is virtually impossible to overcome, especially when you are in the vulnerable state of labor.
It sounds like your body wasn’t ready to go into labor yet, and you were the victim of obstetric violence and assault - and I don’t think I’m exaggerating.
I pray you find healing and as you mentioned, see the silver lining of learning how to advocate for yourself.
I have found free birth stories and resources like those on the free birth society podcast to be extremely enlightening and empowering when it comes to birth ❤
You are so brave!!! Much love!!! ✨💖✨
Thank you so much!! ✨💖✨
You are one of the strongest women I've ever had the privilege hearing your birth story. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your life. I am so glad Jeff was there for you and I'm so glad baby Annie was perfect in every way. I just don't ever want you to ever forget how strong you are and that this is a process and take it slow and be kind to yourself!! Sending you three the most positive shining vibes ever ✨💛🤟🏻 44:22
Thanks you for sharing your story!
I’m sorry to hear that your experience was so traumatic for you.
Hindsight and retrospective thoughts can be both a blessing and a hindrance.
Education surrounding birth, labour and delivery really needs to change.
I’m very grateful to have had 5 natural deliveries with no interventions. In Australia we’re lucky to still have a large amount of midwife lead birth options. I’ve found that the public midwife lead health system is much more flexible than the private obstetrics system and the outcomes are much more positive.
I am happy to hear that. My cousin had his child in Australia 2022 and I had my son in Boston. My hospital birth was water broke, Pitocin because I didn’t want to go back an hour away and back to Mass general by car to wait for natural active labor, got an epidural and signed up for a research study during pushing him out . I pointed my feet and we are still breastfeeding 1.5 years later. We have poor weight gain at 1 year, and 1.5 so I hope in a couple of years that will be stories I get to talk about. We also have lead levels that are above 4 so we are having lots of random issues. I think Call the midwives bbc show helped me through as well as UA-cam
Wish I could hug you 💕- I so so relate and have since found that so many women out there can relate. It’s horrible and not the birth story any woman imagines having. Bless you, Lisa! 😭 As time passes and you grieve, and you process through your memories of it, you’ll emotionally heal. Just know you’re not alone! 💖
It's okay that you don't remember the initial moment they put her on you because essentially it's for her and you and Annie got that bonding. Moments after being taken from your womb and then being placed right on top of your heart. And that's awesome
I’m only 20 minutes in and my heart Lisa, wow. You’re brave and amazing! Childbirth is obviously no joke but your vulnerability in speaking about your experience is awe inspiring. Thank you for being real, always. ❤
I hope you get the most kickass mothers day gift for the rest of your life!
I’m so glad you’ve found your voice now! You are your own advocate & NEED that voice … HAVE TO HAVE YOUR VOICE! So proud of you for finding your voice now, so proud of you getting through this! You’re such a warrior & don’t let anyone ever tell you any different! On another note real quick. YOU’RE 40?!? Damn girl! You look 30 at best! You a fuckin hottie!
Anyway, as she grows, you teach your daughter to have a voice for herself, to advocate for herself! I’ve always been told that I’m my own advocate & I’m so glad that I finally started believing that! It’s life changing! Congratulations on your baby girl, Lisa! You’re amazing & will be an amazing mother!
Just sending you so much love and support. This was such an intense story and I am just so sorry that your experience was so rough.
Lisa im so sorry for what you went through it sounds very traumatic
Take time to heal and you and jeff enjoy precious Annie❤
you have every right to have felt violated. this is your body you’re speaking about, and you’re right, there was absolutely a lack of compassion.. you’re such a beautiful soul, lisa. god bless you and your family.
When you finally process it all, you get this overwhelming feeling of stress sadness and happiness just to be alive. We are all thankful you're so strong and you're doing so much better health wise xx you've got this girl x
I have had 2 c sections they are scary as hell! My daughter was completely fine healthy and screaming.... My son was born a toddler lol he was so cramped up in me that when he was born he couldn't breath on his own I didn't get to hold him for 45 minutes, eventually they bought him out and I could see he was still struggling that they then rushed him off to the special care unit and I didn't get to see him for 24hrs ... I finally got to hold him and see him after 24hr he was in special care for 8 days after day 4 I was so frustrated that I took all my stuff off (gown gloves and masks) and held him close with nothing between us
I’m so sorry!! Proud that you are working through it and are able to share your story and be an inspiration to other women to be their own advocate. I wish I had been too.
Thank you for telling your story!! It’s a good reminder to make sure we are advocating for ourselves!!
Thank you so much for sharing your story Lisa
Oh Lisa, I am so so sorry you had to go through what you’ve gone through. Sending you so much love, peace and healing energy 🤍
I totally get it. I heard my nurses mocking me for being in so much pain. I found a few nurses who were so compassionate but unfortunately there are those few.
✨✨✨✨✨Giving you so much love. I’m grateful you’re healthy now and have such a beautiful baby girl, inside and out.
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I feel like there is medical malpractice potential in your story however I am not an attorney. As you, I had a traumatic birth and postpartum period of medical issues. I love your honesty and insights. You are a human, not a number. I’m glad you are talking to a therapist about this because it helps process the pain. Bless you, your husband & baby Annie. 😳
Bless you! That is ALOT!! I'm kind of the same about not speaking up. After all they are the medical professionals. I always just assume they know best. But not always, eh?
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry it was so difficult.
Omg Im on my period rn and I am crying so hard at this video. I have health issues so i have been to the hospital a lot and the hospital is literally the worse sometimes Especially if you go to the wrong one.
I appreciate you sharing this experience! I am so sorry you had to go through this cause It really should of been easier on you.
You’re labor experience is so very similar to mine it’s kind of crazy. My water broke at 38 weeks 5 days, and because I had tested positive for group b strep, we had to go in right away. They got me started on antibiotics right away. Had a cervix softener and some pitocin. My little guy wasn’t handling it well, and the back labor was so bad. He was sunny side up and ended up having his cord loosely around his neck. They had me labor for just over 24 hours before we ended up with a C-section. Labor is scary, and women are amazing.
I'm with you on feeling my birth story was skewed by drugs, lack of sleep and my birth not going to plan. When the nurse put the Baloon inside of my cervix I don't know if they gave me Fentanyl or anything. But, I can so relate. I hope you are well now and Annie too. Birth is a bit traumatic as it is, let alone when it doesn't go to plan.
My pelvic exam didn't hurt because I was already dilated 5cm, but when the Dr wanted to check me, I said hey the nurse just did it a minute ago can you just ask her? Your experience is very typical in the hospital setting and it's very f-ed up. Personally I feel it's one of the worst parts of medicine. Giving birth is supposed to be one of the most amazing experiences and the amount of intervention they do is just ridiculous.
Thank you for sharing your story- your courage and strength is extremely admirable. I'm pregnant with my first and trying to be open-minded and roll with the punches as much as possible, easier said than done with anxiety. sending so much love and peace your way! (:
I have had 5 babies. 3 c sections then 2 VBACs. come into the hospital, birthing center or home birth with midwife with a contingency plan
I’m SO sorry this happened! Giving many hugs ❤ THANK YOU for sharing!