Hi Ed, I am inspired by your channel and your content-- you come across as quite authentic and have a passion to genuinely help people. Those vids where you are doing those socially mishapful things (e.g. lying on the street) quite motivate me. I'm currently experimenting with social exposure therapy. It's been simultaneously rough, slightly painful, but overall quite fulfilling as my comfort zone is growing from the exposure and is arguably the largest it has been in a while. Perhaps I could keep updating my experience in this comment section for accountability reasons?
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach Alright! Thanks! I will preface this by saying that I believe that I think I suffered from near-debilitating social anxiety over a year ago. I was and still am a daily meditator. I would engage in self-reflection over time since a year ago. I mention these 2 things as it may explain why exposure therapy worked so well for me. Plus, I would naturally get some gradually more and more uncomfortable interactions (like exposure therapy but unintentional), since I am a student and school puts you in those positions sometimes. But still, I feared rejection, approaching people that I was not so familiar with, being authentic most times, and social mishaps. So, I started doing official social exposure therapy roughly two weeks ago.The fact that I’m a student makes it much more straightforward to engage in many interactions (with fellow students or faculty). On the first few days,. I would do a lot with me purposely acting more authentic and saying more socially risky things (at least things that were somewhat out of my comfort zone). it was intense but honestly kind of fun. Even on the weekend I would be making facetime calls (in contexts that made me slightly uncomfortable) and getting social exposure through there. The next school week, for 5 days straight, I was going quite serious with the social exposure. I still tried to keep it graded/incremental. It was both scary and fun. My interactions would range from striking conversation with unfamiliar to slightly familiar people, doing mishapful things (like doing small talk with people as they were in the midst of making out with their partner), giving compliments, confronting others in manageable amounts (e.g. telling people who cut politely to go to the back of a line), and being much more friendly, open, and social with people that I already knew. I’d get this rush of adrenaline most times. It was stressful but fun. I have also found it is also a lot more easier when e.g., I am doing it alongside friends hyping me up or have genuine confidence in something like my physical appearance and smoothness. But at the same time, I think that these things kinda go against the idea of facing your fears and so I don't want a dependency on them. Also, I think that I went too far with the quantity of exposure because I genuinely became abnormally mentally exhausted on some days haha. I felt like giving up and not continuing on many occasions. I took a break this weekend where I socialized less, and it was honestly relaxing after ~9 days straight of lots of exposure. Yesterday, I had quite little desire to do the social exposure. It felt more like a feeling of being tired and not having much energy rather then being anxious. I feel like the level at which I have come to in terms of my current comfort zone is healthy and acceptable; I feel comfortable with doing many things socially now, and thus, to be honest, I’m not so sure I should keep doing this. I think I’ll probably go another week just to consolidate the desensitization and really make sure that I can comfortably do stuff like approach strangers, confront others, and do socially mishapful things. I don't want to stop now though, potentially thinking that I am "done" and then gradually become resensitized. I also don’t want to worsen people's days with what I’m doing (which is an obstacle because some people seem slightly irritated with the behaviors I have been engaging in). I have been cautious as to not do things that would directly or indirectly hurt others. But at the same time, it's difficult not to make others slightly uncomfortable as well, in efforts to desensitize myself. It’s also difficult because sometimes doing something like talking to unfamiliar people can feel slightly purposeless, i.e., I don’t even know what I’m trying to get out of such a conversation (like if I am just using a person as a means to desensitize myself rather then connect w/ someone else) and have no authentic desire to do such a thing. It’s nice if I genuinely desire to talk to a stranger, but it feels off when I don’t want to talk but do so anyway. Right now, I’m trying to balance continuing doing graded social exposure and being authentic to myself. So far, I think it has been quite successful. I'm used to detailed self-reflection (I enjoy it), so forgive me for dumping this much info haha. I could go on more and more into more specifics but it doesn't feel productive to do so. So yeah,, that's how it's been going so far 😄
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach Hi ed, I just wanted to give another update since it has been over a month since I posted my experience with engaging in self-regulated exposure therapy, which was on the first 2 to 3 weeks of my experinece. Since that time, I noticed that being more social in public environments became quite natural. Furthermore, I continued to do things that felt scary and anxiety-provoking at manageable amounts, especially using the fact that I am a student (12th grader) to use school as a “playground” to work on being more socially relaxed and free. I have pushed myself to do things that are embarrassing or have a risk of embarrassment many times. However, I would try my best to embrace social blunders and faux pases, and overtime i have become more desensitized to them and can act more natural in social situations. In fact, I think that I now give others anxiety as I have become quite comfortable with talking to new people, while perhaps they feel threatened and anxious. Social anxiety seems very widespread. Even though I have become comfortable in many aspects, still, talking to people that I am attracted to is difficult -- I have done it many times and have gained that experience. There are many situations in which I feel nervous and overthink what I'm going to say in fear of negative judgment. Unlike before, my natural response is to now dive into the situations that make me anxious. People I am not so familiar with also tend to seem kind of confused when I am being friendly and social, as I think it throws them off and confuses them considering how atypical it is for people to act in that way (especially in my given environment, where people my age tend to be more isolated and quite anxious). So, all in all I think it has been amazing. I thank you for giving information out and trying to educate others on desensitization.
@@Quicical This is awesome! You're obviously a high intelligent, emotionally aware and precocious individual. I can tell from what you've written that you're now having a lot of the insights that people on this path will have when they do the work. Such as, seeing society as a 'playground', a laboratory or a canvas in which to play and create. Rather than a maze of terror. I'm glad you've also had the realisation that a LOT of people are somewhat scared of social interaction. I believe it's reached epidemic proportions in today's society. So, when you turn around and randomly start a conversation with a stranger (as would have been natural in previous generations) they often jump out of their skins. You have to remember that starting interactions is healthy, normal and good for us as humans. So, no matter if people seem freaked out/surprised at first, you have to remember you are fighting the good fight, reversing some of the isolation that is so pervasive in society and actually spreading a bit of love and connection. I see it as social activism. Keep going on your journey my young friend. Sending you love and support.X
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach thank you! haha i love that perspective shift on seeing it as social activism. "they jump out of their skins" -- you took the words right out of my mouth haha
have you found a supplement that helps you with your social anxiety? I quit drinking coffee and all caffeine, did it cold turkey and been off for a couple months, and i feel better being in public now that i stopped. before i would feel uncomfortable even crossing a street, thinking everyone was looking at me and judging. i’m looking for a supplement to help with it more
No. Supplements and so on are all just superficial stuff. My social anxiety came from psycho-emotional neglect, abuse and trauma growing up. It came from never being told I was "enough" or "acceptable". It came from never feeling safe or secure as a child. It came total dysfunction in the family: watching my mother try to kill herself and my brother ending up in a casket at age 26 from a drug overdose. I'm afraid, if anyone thinks a supplement can remedy those issues, then they're barking so far up the wrong tree it's not even funny.
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach thank you for sharing that with me, i’m so sorry to hear 😪 I lost my brother too, resulting in both my parents severely depressed, with my mother being suicidal. just know you are not alone. Even with past trauma, there’s still hope for us, we just have to take it day by day and learn how we can overcome it 😣 we can do it
Not if you're genuinely just not interested. A lot of introverts I speak to just honestly can't be bothered talking to other people. That's not social anxiety
Hi Ed,
I am inspired by your channel and your content-- you come across as quite authentic and have a passion to genuinely help people. Those vids where you are doing those socially mishapful things (e.g. lying on the street) quite motivate me. I'm currently experimenting with social exposure therapy. It's been simultaneously rough, slightly painful, but overall quite fulfilling as my comfort zone is growing from the exposure and is arguably the largest it has been in a while. Perhaps I could keep updating my experience in this comment section for accountability reasons?
I’m glad the channel has been helpful. Yes, please post your results here. I’d be very interested to see how you’re getting on
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach Alright! Thanks! I will preface this by saying that I believe that I think I suffered from near-debilitating social anxiety over a year ago. I was and still am a daily meditator. I would engage in self-reflection over time since a year ago. I mention these 2 things as it may explain why exposure therapy worked so well for me. Plus, I would naturally get some gradually more and more uncomfortable interactions (like exposure therapy but unintentional), since I am a student and school puts you in those positions sometimes. But still, I feared rejection, approaching people that I was not so familiar with, being authentic most times, and social mishaps.
So, I started doing official social exposure therapy roughly two weeks ago.The fact that I’m a student makes it much more straightforward to engage in many interactions (with fellow students or faculty). On the first few days,. I would do a lot with me purposely acting more authentic and saying more socially risky things (at least things that were somewhat out of my comfort zone). it was intense but honestly kind of fun. Even on the weekend I would be making facetime calls (in contexts that made me slightly uncomfortable) and getting social exposure through there.
The next school week, for 5 days straight, I was going quite serious with the social exposure. I still tried to keep it graded/incremental. It was both scary and fun. My interactions would range from striking conversation with unfamiliar to slightly familiar people, doing mishapful things (like doing small talk with people as they were in the midst of making out with their partner), giving compliments, confronting others in manageable amounts (e.g. telling people who cut politely to go to the back of a line), and being much more friendly, open, and social with people that I already knew. I’d get this rush of adrenaline most times. It was stressful but fun. I have also found it is also a lot more easier when e.g., I am doing it alongside friends hyping me up or have genuine confidence in something like my physical appearance and smoothness. But at the same time, I think that these things kinda go against the idea of facing your fears and so I don't want a dependency on them.
Also, I think that I went too far with the quantity of exposure because I genuinely became abnormally mentally exhausted on some days haha. I felt like giving up and not continuing on many occasions.
I took a break this weekend where I socialized less, and it was honestly relaxing after ~9 days straight of lots of exposure. Yesterday, I had quite little desire to do the social exposure. It felt more like a feeling of being tired and not having much energy rather then being anxious. I feel like the level at which I have come to in terms of my current comfort zone is healthy and acceptable; I feel comfortable with doing many things socially now, and thus, to be honest, I’m not so sure I should keep doing this. I think I’ll probably go another week just to consolidate the desensitization and really make sure that I can comfortably do stuff like approach strangers, confront others, and do socially mishapful things. I don't want to stop now though, potentially thinking that I am "done" and then gradually become resensitized. I also don’t want to worsen people's days with what I’m doing (which is an obstacle because some people seem slightly irritated with the behaviors I have been engaging in). I have been cautious as to not do things that would directly or indirectly hurt others. But at the same time, it's difficult not to make others slightly uncomfortable as well, in efforts to desensitize myself. It’s also difficult because sometimes doing something like talking to unfamiliar people can feel slightly purposeless, i.e., I don’t even know what I’m trying to get out of such a conversation (like if I am just using a person as a means to desensitize myself rather then connect w/ someone else) and have no authentic desire to do such a thing. It’s nice if I genuinely desire to talk to a stranger, but it feels off when I don’t want to talk but do so anyway. Right now, I’m trying to balance continuing doing graded social exposure and being authentic to myself. So far, I think it has been quite successful.
I'm used to detailed self-reflection (I enjoy it), so forgive me for dumping this much info haha. I could go on more and more into more specifics but it doesn't feel productive to do so.
So yeah,, that's how it's been going so far 😄
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach Hi ed, I just wanted to give another update since it has been over a month since I posted my experience with engaging in self-regulated exposure therapy, which was on the first 2 to 3 weeks of my experinece. Since that time, I noticed that being more social in public environments became quite natural.
Furthermore, I continued to do things that felt scary and anxiety-provoking at manageable amounts, especially using the fact that I am a student (12th grader) to use school as a “playground” to work on being more socially relaxed and free. I have pushed myself to do things that are embarrassing or have a risk of embarrassment many times. However, I would try my best to embrace social blunders and faux pases, and overtime i have become more desensitized to them and can act more natural in social situations.
In fact, I think that I now give others anxiety as I have become quite comfortable with talking to new people, while perhaps they feel threatened and anxious. Social anxiety seems very widespread.
Even though I have become comfortable in many aspects, still, talking to people that I am attracted to is difficult -- I have done it many times and have gained that experience. There are many situations in which I feel nervous and overthink what I'm going to say in fear of negative judgment. Unlike before, my natural response is to now dive into the situations that make me anxious.
People I am not so familiar with also tend to seem kind of confused when I am being friendly and social, as I think it throws them off and confuses them considering how atypical it is for people to act in that way (especially in my given environment, where people my age tend to be more isolated and quite anxious).
So, all in all I think it has been amazing. I thank you for giving information out and trying to educate others on desensitization.
@@Quicical This is awesome!
You're obviously a high intelligent, emotionally aware and precocious individual.
I can tell from what you've written that you're now having a lot of the insights that people on this path will have when they do the work.
Such as, seeing society as a 'playground', a laboratory or a canvas in which to play and create. Rather than a maze of terror.
I'm glad you've also had the realisation that a LOT of people are somewhat scared of social interaction. I believe it's reached epidemic proportions in today's society.
So, when you turn around and randomly start a conversation with a stranger (as would have been natural in previous generations) they often jump out of their skins.
You have to remember that starting interactions is healthy, normal and good for us as humans.
So, no matter if people seem freaked out/surprised at first, you have to remember you are fighting the good fight, reversing some of the isolation that is so pervasive in society and actually spreading a bit of love and connection. I see it as social activism.
Keep going on your journey my young friend. Sending you love and support.X
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach thank you! haha i love that perspective shift on seeing it as social activism. "they jump out of their skins" -- you took the words right out of my mouth haha
have you found a supplement that helps you with your social anxiety?
I quit drinking coffee and all caffeine, did it cold turkey and been off for a couple months, and i feel better being in public now that i stopped. before i would feel uncomfortable even crossing a street, thinking everyone was looking at me and judging.
i’m looking for a supplement to help with it more
No. Supplements and so on are all just superficial stuff. My social anxiety came from psycho-emotional neglect, abuse and trauma growing up. It came from never being told I was "enough" or "acceptable". It came from never feeling safe or secure as a child. It came total dysfunction in the family: watching my mother try to kill herself and my brother ending up in a casket at age 26 from a drug overdose.
I'm afraid, if anyone thinks a supplement can remedy those issues, then they're barking so far up the wrong tree it's not even funny.
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach thank you for sharing that with me, i’m so sorry to hear 😪 I lost my brother too, resulting in both my parents severely depressed, with my mother being suicidal. just know you are not alone. Even with past trauma, there’s still hope for us, we just have to take it day by day and learn how we can overcome it 😣 we can do it
Which part of Taiwan are you in? Do you recommend it
I’m in Taipei. I’m not entirely sure I’d recommend it - lots of earthquakes right now. Really depends what you’re looking for
Is lack of interest in people a form of social anxiety?
Not if you're genuinely just not interested. A lot of introverts I speak to just honestly can't be bothered talking to other people. That's not social anxiety
@@EdTheAnxietyCoach oh ok thank you, so maybe I am just introverted. I wasn’t sure if it was that or social anxiety.