Yes, my brain needs a complete and total break to recover quickly and that just doesn't exist. The reality is I still have to have small interactions every day, and the more there are, the longer it takes to recover.
So true. I tried to return to work way too early after major burnout in 2018. As a result I’ve spent several additional years as a recluse and can’t imagine ever being well enough to try to work again. 😢
I don’t know if anyone else have the same feelings but the lockdown really helped me. The lockdown also sort of made me realize the differences I have being able to go months without social interaction while others go days and lose their minds.
I had very mixed feelings when I learned that my job was essential. I was thankful to still be getting a paycheck, but incredibly jealous of everyone who got all that extra time at home.
I was already living as if I was in lockdown, as I had quit my job the year before. I was a little bitter about everyone else entering lockdown, in a self-pitying kind of way. Like, "Oh, this is new for you? Join the club." Though I was doing it by choice to heal, so I really was just being self absorbed. It's interesting to see how the pandemic affected people differently, especially the social interaction like you said. It's good that employers are now a lot more open to letting their employees stay home when they really don't need to go into an office to do their jobs.
It took a while for me to accept that I need a lot of rest. Complete rest, no friends, no household chores, not even reading, maybe apart from something very light. Basically, sitting, looking at the sky outside the window and cuddling with the cat. I cut down to three night shifts a week and do decline any extra shifts. The plan for this year is to use my annual leave strategically, selecting a single day off each month in a way that gives me a whole week off. It’s a learning curve, but I think I am getting somewhere.
I really want to encourage all of us who are autistic to take our energy needs seriously. They are needs, so not meeting them has consequences. We deserve to live well and be supported to do what it takes to care for our well being. Like a lot of us, my life before my late diagnosis was characterised by periods of regular burnout. They just got worse and worse until I had some big burnouts that fed into significant illnesses (mental and physical). I managed to recover from things that have very low recovery rates, so after that I was determined to do what it takes to stay well. It was in the middle of really coming to terms with what that means for me I realised my needs are atypical and that I am autistic. I am pretty lucky that I do have the option to live in a way that works for me and I have good support. I prioritise energy management and I'm so much better for it. And I just feel my wellbeing is safe in a way it never was in my 40+ years of life. We all deserve that, we've been through more than enough. 💛
I have been constantly collapsing every few weeks, sometimes less since last March. My doctor has been trying to help figure out what could be wrong with me. Finally, from watching your videos as well as others, I’m accepting that I am suffering from severe burnout. I’m pretty high functioning and have always been extremely hyperactive as well as constantly masking. I feel it’s all over now, I can’t mask anymore, I’m just so tired. I’m trying to just focus on one thing at a time that I can cope with so I don’t have to feel completely useless. Certainly wish I could just disappear to a really quiet place where there aren’t any people, just nature. I don’t seem to be able to regulate my emotions, what a mess.
The reduction in ability to self-monitor and self-regulate is frustrating! Coupled with that constant need to get away from people and sensory input and responsibilities and requirements, the burnout itself can burn you out further even if you escape the original cause! Sorry you're going through that - doubly so for that feeling of uselessness. When I stopped working for a while, it made things worse, not better - work was burning me out but it was also the *only* thing left that I could actually do! Stepping away from it meant confronting how much the burnout had taken from me and how little I could do. It's all so counter-intuitive sometimes. I hope that you're able to get a foothold and start replenishing this year.
@Tony is Wrong thank you. I'm researching Polyvagal theory now, looking for some understanding of my nervous system and how I can cope better. It does help to be able to share and not feel so alone and even more weird because most people can't relate.
It’s similar here. I’d been trying to manage over a couple decades, and the past five were way overloaded, and so much people trouble and sensory trouble, with the pandemic ironically giving some relief. I think nature helps a lot. We used to have more of it around. Now we have so many people, noises, smells, pollution, chemical buildings, constant overload, excess demands at specific times that don’t match when downtime is needed. Relating to animals can help too. They are more honest, much easier to relate to generally. Here I’ve kind of had a breakdown, with physical sensitivity in overdrive, immune crashes and mental organisational challenges. Out of character, what I’m doing to survive is not as ethical or true to self as preferred but I’m not able to force my own action any more, simply cannot focus and feel unwell when trying to force action for responsibility sake. Small things, which are so seldom allowed, seem to help: a walk in the park (but better in real nature as it seems there is chemical spraying in the park), caring for plants, drawing, doodling, more doodling, doing craftwork, climbing trees (trying), exploring with the dogs, talking to the birds and haggling with the crow, lazing around or playing with the cat, writing, creating recipes, working with clay, repairing and redesigning space, photography, having a cup of tea, studying for own interest without deadlines or such, and so on. These small things and taking a day to do nothing required or scheduled seem to help a lot . Recently I’ve had to take a day or rest period between each required or expected chore or task. Office cannot understand why I cannot immediately do the next task if I’m done with the other, so I’ve had to say I’m doing something else…which I am, recovering from overload breakdown (which I cannot say) . Friends who want to help cannot understand why I’m so ungrateful that I need to sleep or sit in bed instead of take help right away instead of help the next day (and it is urgent as I’m underemployed, which was one of the breakdown triggers since life was less flexible when employment became a constant struggle of finding temp short term projects or work, and I couldn’t afford the non-free go-tos for recovery from sensory overload, nor immune boosters or balancers such as massage, acupuncture, or trips to the mountains and beach (had a couple cancers among other things as I insisted on being responsible before, or at least trying my best, by doing what was expected and what I’d committed to regardless of if others did or not, or were fair or not, or kept their end up or not, regardless). Anyhow, without being able to regularly do such, or afford it, and being unable to choose less toxic environments or better less toxic housing and less toxic commutes (I react to the new train materials in the regular sections and the newer lights), so my system crashed after being unable to afford supports. So now I need, must, rest in between being overloaded, and it’s really tough to get it understood. I don’t want to end up in the hospital from overload, with cancer or other system exhaustion response. Whether they understand or not, I’m doing it, resting between required actions such as getting a file project done or such, have to rest, and it helps..it helps not to get more sick, helps to feel better, and helps to more successfully do and get through the next requirement. So I don’t know if it helps you, or would help but that pattern of do, rest, do rest, do rest, and then making some long rests (by rest I mean not obligated activity and nothing scheduled) helps. I do whatever I have energy for on that day. If there is no energy, I stay in. If I have energy, then I get out in nature, or if I don’t feel well enough I do what I can inside. That seems to help a lot when I’m allowed to manage that way. I say allowed because pressure and lack of understanding can be intense. I used to do what was expected no matter what, but putting myself in toxic environments and getting things done because people didn’t understand the smoke or chemicals from the flooring or such was truly making me I’ll and was the reason I couldn’t focus well, only ended up with me having immune and other issues, and what looked liked dementia but probably was not (although with enough toxic chemicals I suppose a plaque reaction would develop and circulation would be harmed..so real dementia or Alzheimer’s like symptoms may result, sad. Anyhow, I hope you can avoid it getting worse and can mitigate more trouble. This UA-cam has been so helpful, Paul and a couple others are great with strategies, for many personality types actually they might be helpful. Long winded as usual but I feel for you and have had similar. So wishing you the best with it all.
A significant way I've learned to avoid burnout is never shopping on the weekend as a rule. I'm fine with the weekday grocery crowd, but Saturdays especially are overwhelming. I'm constantly worried about not offending strangers by being in the way and taking up space (if only they would be as considerate and move their cart over just a couple more inches so I can get by...). If you have the flexibility to shop on a weekday before school is out, absolutely do it then instead. Best times are 10 to 2 (a lot of places don't open until 10 and a lot of people get off work or school after 2).
This is validating. I had to step away from my overstimulating career and my family and friends don't all fully understand why. Masking and sensory overload took its toll on my mental health and I'm content working as a waitress and making just enough to get by. You can't put a price on good mental health.
"You can't put a price on good mental health." I so hear that.. I was a severely anxious child, so much so that I had succumbed to mental instability by the time I was a kindergartener! I didn't begin to recover until I was in my early 40's. I feel blessed to have survived those years. My life now has friends, some family, a few things I enjoy doing. My anxieties still rear their heads but I can deal better with them. All in all, life is good.
Now that I have retired and I can rest whenever I want to, I find my memory has improved. Sometimes when I walk my little dog, I chat with the ocasional neighbor and find that later I can remember their names. Amazing! Since I cherish my rest times, but still have everyday responsibilities, I will sometimes make a list and try to do as many things in a day as I possibly can, kind of sprinting through my day. It makes me feel good to accomplish so much in one day, and I reward myself by doing practically nothing the rest of the week.
"I am allowed to create a life that works for me, I am allowed to need what I need. I am allowed to rest, I am allowed to go slow, I am allowed to take the time to grow. I am allowed to ask, I am allowed to receive, I am allowed to open the door to ease. I am allowed to stop, I am allowed to breathe, I am allowed to create a life that works for me." Sending love to everyone experiencing burnout at the moment. And so much gratitude for this video and all the comments left here. They have really helped me today.
Your words here have really helped me today, thank you. It's hard to give ourselves permission for these things, but a bit easier when we see others doing it 🙏
@@BH-kw8rh I'm glad they helped. So true that it can be really hard to give ourselves permission and definitely it helps seeing others doing it. We all help lift each other up.
One strategy I use, is to periodically take breaks. Think about it like jogging. You can run at a slower speed, then switch to sprinting, then back to running slower. Rather than working super hard all day, after an hour or 2, you can take a short break, and you don't have to fully recover. As you mentioned, you saw some improvement by taking breaks, even without a full recovery. Rather than trying to sprint all day, then crashing at the end, you could try to sprint for 2 hours, then jog for 10 or 20 minutes, and get some recovery, even if it's not full. You just need enough to get through the next 2 hours. Then at the end of the day, recovery can be much quicker because there's a bit less to recover from. Basically spreading it out into short bursts, instead of trying to go for large amounts of time. Also, if you pay attention to how you feel before the burnout, and try to memorize how you feel throughout the day for some time, you may be able to predict when it may come, and take a short break before burnout happens.
The older I get, the more quickly I burn out. Thankfully, I was able to retire about five years ago. I find that I can only relax when I'm totally alone. I have a dog, but I even find him to be stressful at times. I didn't mind one bit staying at home during Covid.
I'm 32 and didn't figure out this is what made me so different from everyone until a little over a year ago. I of course knew about autism and what not, but never had experience with anyone that I knew had it, other than the stereotypical autistics. From counting and guiding every single step, to trying to match out every social interaction I COULD have and how I MIGHT respond, I assumed for a long time people were more like me and thought like me. Anytime I ever go in depth with my thoughts however, always lead to confusing looks or just disbelief like I'm lying. I wish I had good tips but my burnouts haven't ended since I was a teenager, it's been mostly one long minor with many majors peppered in there. It's absolutely exhausting just doing 'normal life' and no one seems to understand that. I've been stuck for years and I was hoping that finally understanding what makes me so different would help me figure out ways to combat the things that are holding me back but they're not. I found your channel shortly after finding out about myself, the constant google and youtube searching of autism helped, and it has helped me understand a ton more. I just want to say thank you because I know how hard it is talking, making videos and speeches, and just forcing yourself out of your shell for the benefit of others.
After getting let go from my last job for being chronically burned out, it really turned me off of working really hard. I can't push my body past its limit anymore. No more becoming so exhausted that I can barely move the mop from side-by-side, as the hotel manager continued to pile more tasks onto me. I seem to need a lot of rest in order to feel okay. I seem to take longer to do things than most people. Getting ready to go to work feels like a daunting task most days, with so many things to do before I even step outside of the house. It's literally like working a part-time job before going to a second job. If I were to imagine what it feels like after working 3 hours, that's how I feel when I am finally able to leave the house. OCD (checking things multiple times) is about half of the problem, and just about 50% of my energy is spent by the time I head off for work. But yeah, part-time working hours is about right for me at this point in time.
@Rumenig Pires Yeah, it's difficult because we never had to work two job positions at the same time ten or twelve years ago, and now we have to take on AT LEAST two job positions, as the manager piles on more tasks to your everyday tasks, and then gets irritated when you can't get out on time. It also seems like you can't ever let them know that you are feeling stressed out; because if you aren't calm and smiling all day everyday, coworkers start to comment, and then the boss hears about it and starts to think about hiring a new person. Meanwhile, it doesn't help when your coworkers lie and say that they completed tasks when they didn't, because then the manager thinks that they can add on more tasks then. And if YOU'RE the one who's actually trying to finish everything, you're the one who gets burned out and let go, and the lying coworker gets to stay because they "have a personality" . . . because my last manager said that she hires based on personality, not on the work that people do. And that's when it dawned on me that the reason why I didn't get hired at the 100+ office jobs that I applied for (with my completed English degree, plus an Office Administration Certificate) was most likely because they could tell that I was a systematic thinker, who would rather be left alone while completing my work. It seems frowned upon when people like me don't like to stand and chit-chat. We're supposed to act like we have SO much extra time, that we can chit chat and appear calm and energetic; giving the impression that it's an easy job and not a big deal. How dare we cause the boss any guilt because they see us getting exhausted and struggling, as we are completing the tasks that THEY put upon us . . . how dare they have to see that! But overall, I can tell you right now that my lower stress levels, and getting more sleep has improved my OCD symptoms by a good 75% now. So I really hope that I don't have to live in chronic stress and burnout ever again, as it literally changes my body and brain chemistry. Life still feels like it goes too fast for me though. Pretty soon it's going to be Thanksgiving again, and we will have to run around on panic mode, instead of just relaxing and enjoying the holiday . . . .
“It takes always longer than I think” - this is so true! I am trying to recover from a burnout right now and somehow don’t make much progress. That’s probably part of it takes longer than I thought. What helps me is being out in nature and feeling the cold wind on my skin, it’s winter here, and seeing the greenery and the water with the ducks pedalling along. That’s all lovely sensory input which I seem to need. When I am just inside, everything gets worse.
After living as a hermit for a few years, I have recently made an effort to socialize. I think I overdid it yesterday. I visited with four friends and exchanged emails with another. (I'm still in shock that I have five friends). Today I feel like my body and brain are on fire. I am completely burnt out, can barely function, can't hold onto a thought. I was glad to see this video. Reminded me that this is normal.
Just stumbled across your videos and they really resonate with me. I am undiagnosed but suspect I may have ASD. Have taken a week break from work and it's been the best thing ever having some space and time to decompress and reset.
I’ve been in burnout for years. Nothing ever seem to be enough to make me want to do anything again. I just just want to be left alone to sleep forever. I know I need help but trying to find it and getting a proper autism diagnostic has been a living nightmare. My brother has his diagnostic cause his autism is more obvious. But I’m a high masking autistic girl and it took years for me to réalise what was off with my brain and why everything seemingly easy seemed so difficult for me!
What works for me is taking first week of month off. Since that is when you need pay rent, paybills, my big food shopping for the month. I didn't realize such a simple thing could add stress on my plate. Now as I said above, I take first week of month off. It helps me. I had a burnout that lasted a lil more than a year. I couldn't even do my favorite things. Every time I tried do something simple as house cleaning, I couldn't.
Yeah, I know a thing or two about autistic burnout. I’m an author by trade and I need a lot of practice writing stories and poems for public consumption. I was super-active in my 20’s, but once I started getting into my 30’s, my work slowed down significantly. And then the pandemic started and my work REALLY started slowing down. And now here I am in 2023 wondering when I’ll get my energy back on a permanent basis. For all the times I can’t do creative work, I either lay around and lament or I watch You Tube videos. What’s really getting me through burnout lately is The Price Is Right. Seeing people win cool shit and lots of money gives me a much-needed dopamine blast. Their happiness makes me happy in return. I also ditched my Twitter account and stopped consuming so much world news. I haven’t made a great deal of changes in my diet and exercise routine, but that’s more of a long term thing than an immediate step. It’ll take some time to see if all of this pays off in the long run, but I’m having a high-mood day today, so I’m naturally optimistic about it.
I'm exactly in the same boat. I burnt out for a second time in three months. I am almost always positive. It's easier to come back with solutions (and it makes me feel good when people are happy). But then the crash happens and I have to think thoughts of fav funny moments to literally get laughing going and it happens when I have zero motivation to watch something I love that I find funny. i recite five grateful things daily before I get outta bed if I'm not down bad. Long journey. Back to square one but now determined and won't stop until I find out the diagnosis.
@@HolisticHealing77 Sorry it took so long for me to reply...but it seems as though I've found the source of my constant tiredness. In addition to being autistic, I'm also schizophrenic. Anhedonia (loss of pleasure) is a common symptom of schizophrenia and it was made worse in the 2020's. Loss of motivation, mental fatigue, inability to concentrate, these are all things that come with the anhedonia package. And because anhedonia is a negative symptom, it can't be treated, unlike positive symptoms. Well...that's my day so far.
I am burnt out, from harrassments from social services (is that the English term?). We are supposed to cooperate, but they didn’t. So I’ve been sick in different ways. Because I am recovering from a major burnout, I’ve had for many years, in my recovery, when I fall back into burnout, my body just stops working as it should. So I’ve stayed at home, two months now. Trying to have good company around, to get some help, and do some art, read, take my time, eat well, sleep well and have baths, exercise, meditate, and I’ve just started taking some tiny and slow walks, evebthough it’s freezing cold outside. In the beginning of this, I managed to get some help from the church, where I could speak to them about what was happening. And then my doctor has rung me up, and she is supportive. So that’s sort of what I need - prople to talk to on my terms, and friends I can be relaxed with. Food, friendship over food, manic dleeping patterns, so just being allowed to sleep whenever I need to sleep. Exercise at home. Friends.
Since I'm "only" self-diagnosed and still relatively new to the world of information there is about autism (I realized it in 2021), it's still a lot to take in. For all these years, my burnout symptoms after interacting with people (planned or unplanned) and everyday stimuli that most people don't seem to care about, were valid feelings generated in a neurodivergent brain and not a sign of me being "crazy" or a "sociopath".
I've been diagnosed with autism since 6th grade in 2012 (though previously diagnosed with ADHD and been treated as a special ed kid). I started what I now know is burning out in 2015, which resulted in a pretty big meltdown in 2016. I took a small break and tried to get back on my feet, and I managed to do so until setbacks in my personal life resulted in me becoming a hermit in 2020. It wasn't until 2021, where I was socially "allowed" to spend all my time at home and just recoup my energy that I realised that it wasn't just my mental health, I was feeling burnt out. It's taken me years of half-resting and all of 2022 reflecting on my mental health to finally feel like I can start making progress in life again. Your channel has been an incredible help in coming to terms with the fact that I am not broken or wrong, I am just different.
I’m finally being reassessed for “high functioning” autism at 19, and watching these videos is so so gratifying. I’ve been living in my bed outside of class and I’ve felt so much guilt about it, but I feel like I really need it. Every task has become too much.
Ironic isn't it when others label you 'high functioning', whereas someone with say a mental health problem or chronic pain that meant they spent all their free time in bed to recover would be labelled as seriously affected...
@@squidge125 Hell, I don't even feel high functioning. I'm doing the bare minimum and I'm still left feeling incredibly burnt out. I just appear high functioning to others.
I've always found the term 'high functioning' ridiculous for myself. It feels like my entire life is falling apart and I can't function at all... Only discovered I have autism last year, at 31 yo, because of burnout :(
You hit the nail on the head. We need more time for recovery. I found that I need a 3 day weekend, because the first day is sleeping nearly the entire time from exhaustion. Then the next day 2 days are actually my weekend where I can plan my errands and prep for the week ahead. And I need to add some fun in there too so I don't get depressed. This is just basic functioning for work and not taking off for any vacations, self care or significant downtime to really decompress. I only just realized WHY I am not like others though, being neurodivergent in nearly all the ways one could be. So this is not even talking any of that into consideration. Do you outsource to an assistant? That is one way to get more decompression time is to do more outsourcing and continually improving on methods of "sliding" the work back and forth with as little brain power involved from you as possible. So finding someone as well as the resources to help the assistant to need less input and direction from you, while you pass it onto them to do those things for you.
This is really it, isn’t it, we need more time for recovery…and some fun in there not to get depressed. Doing it that way functioning works much better and we can actually work super well. I’d add though, it doesn’t seem to function well on somebody else’s schedule. It’s not all predictable. However, it would work better with the three day work week and time to decompress. I find I’m the same and so need that extra day.
Setting my own schedule, doing less in a day and resting as needed, doing work I enjoy (and which I feel good doing), making time for fun, getting outside (going for a walk, gardening, taking photos of small things in nature), spending time with my dog, etc. Also making art and working on creative projects ticks a lot of boxes for me. When I need a bigger break from my head/thoughts/everything else, I go for stories... reading a good book/series, or binge watching shows or movies on Netflix allows me to take a break from my own life and it's very accessible. Being flexible, slowing down and giving myself space for whatever helps at the time is the main thing. I find these tactics very helpful in sorting out short burnouts from overwhelm and in preventing long burnouts.
First, for you (added after I realized it should be here, ofc): I do so understand you. Relax. Every autistic person here understands you. Be well, brother. I have few minor burnouts and tend to build up strong long term burnouts from working (having to spend time in ways that leave me overstimulated). My cycle is horrid. Two years of work used to cause an acute inability to function in a work situation for 1.5-2.5 years. I did this for 20 years. Then I finally broke, or well.. my worst burnout ever won't reset even after 5 years of getting to almost only be myself. Now my mind refuses to function in a work environment at all. In fact, it refuses to do work. I just get a meltdown within a couple of hours, that takes days to reset. The reason it got this way is that I didn't know I had ASD. I just got diagnosed with burnout over and over again. I also have ADHD which sort of hid the ASD because it makes me ACT very extroverted even though I thoroughly NEED to be introverted. Other people commonly perceive me as a slightly strange person and don't suspect me of having either, although I'm sure some people think me extremely weird, or possibly insane, because they've interacted with me just when I've had a sudden hard minor meltdown. So now, at 45, I've been on sick leave, then extended health leave, and finally permanent disability since my final breakdown almost 5 years ago. I'm only 45 years old. Fortunately for me I live in a country that has a functional welfare system.
I’ve been in severe burnout since roughly february-march of 2022, my burnout got extremely bad in mid september and I started researching to try and find out what I was experiencing. I spent the first few months of researching having a lot of lows, but now since i’m used to my therapy routine & i discovered that what I’m experiencing is autistic burnout, I feel like I’ve gotten back a small piece of my life! These videos never fail to help me and make me feel less guilty for my autistic needs. To anyone out there that is going through this and can’t find someone with a similar experience, I am PROMISING you it gets so much better, no matter how horrible it feels now. Even if you’ve lost hope, a massive part of this journey is actually regaining that hope that it gets better. Something thing I’ve also been told is that it gets worse before it gets better and I cannot agree with that more, always remind yourself! Resting is so important for us autistic people, so please, please rest! There are so many forms of rest I recommend researching. Social rest, sensory rest, emotional rest, physical rest etc. You are not alone in this journey!
Thank you Paul, that resonated with me. I also love walking, aiming to do 10,000 steps a day. I’ve been thinking that our ancestors used to live in more open air spaces without so much stimuli of crowds, etc. Being connected in with nature, away from noise is such a simple, yet often under-appreciated pastime.
One reason Autism may be on the rise is the reduction in open air spaces, time and place to be in nature, and the excessive stimuli. Those aren’t the only reasons but likely have a strong impact.
It always takes longer than you plan for - absolutely. Last year, around October, I noticed I was having increasing and quite severe fatigue, irritability, executive dysfunction, emotional disregulation, and this all-pervasive feeling that no matter what, I couldn't ever get enough time to relax - that everything was an imposition. Burnout! Eventually, it began to remove my ability to mask or even engage with things that rejuvenated me. That has been a hard lesson in having limits. I've never sat down and reckoned with my sensory and cognitive limits before. Coming to terms with having these limits was already difficult and was made much, much harder by being burnt out *by work* and being unable to stop working. Worse, burnout stripped away my ability to do my usual meta-cognition. That's a tool I needed to use to come to terms with the burnout! It's February of the next year now, and I'm still struggling to regain a foothold cognitively and emotionally. I took extra time off over the end of year holidays - wasn't nearly enough to get me stable. Quitting my job now as a result - but it wasn't the plan!
The only thing that helps me is to lay down and sleep every time I'm tired. When I'm in burnout it can be a lot of sleep, but i don't second-guess it, i just nap whenever i feel sleepy. It's like magic.
Been two years since I had a major burnout. Still not recovered. Struggle to understand why I'm tired sometimes. Like yourself I've realised shops tire me. I can't see friends and family two days in a row as the day after I'm absolutely exhausted and can't function. I've got my work down to 5 hrs a day. This allows me a bit of downtime after work to recover for the next working day. Also found lego as very good therapy to just completely zone out. Love your videos. Keep up the good work.
I'm the same with social events. I have to pace them out carefully. I love Lego too but it's been a while since I've built anything - but I will again for sure.
I have always known I need much more time than other people to actually relax and enjoy myself. For vacations, for example, a lot of people seem to enjoy a one week vacation, but I need at least two weeks to have the feeling I actually enjoyed myself or relaxed, a one month vacation would be best, as you mentioned. The problem with this is that people think you're being greedy or lazy if you say you need more time to relax.
I appreciate the time you take to try these different methods, it's sad that we have no real help or guidance from professionals yet and have to do this all ourselves. Lets hope we make some discoveries soon.
One of my strategies is to just get into my car and go for a drive. Yes, driving requires a lot of thought, but I say, "Plan where you want to go, have food and water, but just you and the open road are good.
Recovery depends on how long it takes me to respond to the symptoms of burnout. In 2020, I noticed the signs but made no effort to stave it off. I kept pushing myself until I had a meltdown at work and had to go home. It took me around four months to recover. When I started noticing the symptoms last year, I took action and dropped my summer classes to give myself the mental/emotional break I needed. It only took me about a month to recover. It was the first summer I enjoyed since I started college. Coming back from zero vs coming back from a quart low is a huge difference.
This is why I've struggled to hold down a full-time job... I just get burned out too easily, a 2-day weekend is simply not enough. It feels like I'm working ALL the time, not just being "at" work but commuting back and forth, preparing for work (e.g. clothing, getting petrol, snacks/lunch), and having to interact/be around other people all day. So I've mostly just worked part-time/casual jobs.. a lot of delivery app gig jobs (e.g. ubereats), I like the flexibility, not having set hours and having to work with others. The downside is less income.. but I can work more hours when I need to, such as when rent is due. I just can't stand fixed regular working hours, i HAVE to be there at a specific time and location... it's constantly weighing on my mind.
I am changing my career pattern from 50hrs+ a week set hours, with tonnes of responsibility, to work self-employed freelance with less responsibility, so I can be really flexible and do what works for me. For instance, I'm a night owl with no kids- so doing shifts working from home evenings and weekends is great for me. Being able to decide I need a month off to completely decompress sounds amazing.
i suffered a severe burnout that developed into ME/CFS. I'm now on permanent disability and i get worse even doing things that used to relax me. music is my life and my sound processing is completely destroyed right now
Before my diagnosis, I often found after a busy day, I feel so tired, that I'm not as effective the next. I have now learnt, if I am going to be busy all day, that I should rest the next.
Thanks for making this video! I have had to mask for a very long time for various reasons, so even acknowledging that I'm burning out and then giving myself permission to stop, rest, and recover is a huge thing. For the longest time I used to ignore it and then feel guilty if I needed a break or I needed to sleep a lot, because the NTs I lived with didn't understand about my issues and thought I was really lazy. Ironically, the pandemic gave me the opportunity to unmask altogether and I've spent the last few years learning how to live with myself again and navigate my needs. I'm venturing back into regular work now, so this video is a timely reminder to manage things in a way that also honour my need to recover.
I think that prolonged isolation in the pandemic has given a lot of people (myself included) a non-optional period of being confronted with their raw self. A lot of folks I know have come to terms with ADHD, autism, and other divergences during the last few years. I hope your journey into the territory of 'regular' work is going well!
Giving myself permission to stop and rest has always plagued me with guilt, too. Other people don't have to do that so why do I need to so much? The pandemic gave me the first several months to rest. Then rediscover myself. And I made a decision that I need to be outside in nature or gardening every week to stay sane. Allow my mind and body to wander in the "quiet" outside has helped me a lot since going back to work.
This happened to me twice in my life and each time took me a few years to fully recover. I feel close to burnout again but can't afford to. Will try to build in time away to decompress.
I had a 5 week break from uni this winter and thought it would be a good idea to catch up with family/ friends during that time. I thought it would be part of my rest. I was so wrong - now back at uni and more burnt out than I was at the end of the last semester. You are so right about needing a break from everything!
I totally relate where I see you coming from here. Thinking, ideas, communicating, sensory processing, and admin, all drain my batteries so, so much. Walking is one way I can soothe my thinking mind. It recharges me, not always physically, but always emotionally. I am always surprised at how much time I need for resting nowadays (I'm 28). I've just taken a year out from paid work, but having just started work again, after one long day back I feel exhausted. I think this is just part of my life. It feels so important to rest, not only to avoid burnout, but to have time to dream and connect inwardly.
You mentioned talking about how crowds affect you negatively, and how you are working to overcome that. I so appreciate your UA-cam channel, because you don’t only focus on the difficulties of ASD. You take the next step to figure out how to overcome. I don’t see that on any other UA-cam channels. Thank you for being a light with this difficult topic.
Although I had to work full time during lockdown it helped immensely, in regards to socialising...no visitors, and no place I 'felt obligated ' to go to. So I learned from that. And I do only one outing a day, if I'm at work all day, then I do no socialising after work. How to recharge in the house is a totally different thing.
I am actually laughing out loud, wathing this video. In Sweden we call it "igenkännandets glädje", translates into something like "the joy of recognition". The same as "it's funny 'cause it's true", I guess 🤔. I am actually in burnout right now and have to thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Good luck on your walk!
I think because I am "high functioning" and so used to masking, I did not even notice when my burnout started. I Probably early 2019. From then onwards I just regularly broke down without understanding why. I feel reluctant to call it autistic burnout since I only formally am diagnosed with ADHD, but the symptoms match so I'm happy to embrace the label. I think now I might have been mostly feeling fine for several months. But I also stopped masking all the time, so from other peoples perspective I am now worse (more inconvenient?) than ever before.
Feels like I've been fried for the majority of the last 5-8 years. Hanging on and staying positive, having fun where I can but drained, crippled in a way.
I've recently come to know my ADHD and Autistic self after 33 years. I've had the worst burnout last year between August to December. I find it hard to work, too much is expected of me and I get yelled at. So I've gone into running my own business, since I'm a single mom and I have to earn. Being self employed helps a lot!
At 52 my burnout is going to a new level. Mini shutdowns where I am unable to speak are becoming frequent. My memory is very bad because its so hard to keep up with the speech. In the past I would overeat or just stay awake all night having meltdowns and anxiety pseudoseizures. I take anxiety meds but sometimes they do not even touch the stress. My problem is being so good at masking I get more social responsibilies at work and outside of work people are really interested in hanging out with me. I am not even the person they think I am. Anyway, slowing down and taking breaks is a good answer. I really like this content. Great video!!
The part about you being so good at masking that people want to out with you but you're not the person they thought you are, resonates a lot with me. I feel that if most people know the stress I feel inside to camouflage into the persona they like, they'll not like me anymore, or would not understand me at all.
I'm burnt out from teaching, I'm jumping ship from this career and looking out for my mental health. Takes me 2 weeks to recover and 1 week to get back to burn out in teaching
I don't know if I'm on the spectrum or not, but much of what you describe in your videos rings true to my experience. As for recovering from burnout... I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to fully recover. As a single dad of four, too much depends on me functioning, no matter what, so I stumble through waves of high functioning and scraping by until I can muster the high functioning some more.
Taking a couple of months off sounds lovely. If only I had that option. I'm barely holding it together, but there is no option for me to just stop. My job is the only thing that makes the battery-refilling activities possible, and the health insurance it provides is the only thing keeping me on my meds and my wife *alive*. I feel like I'm in some kind of dystopia.
Well.... I burn out a lot. And I always wonder how other people don't. My go-to is nature or gardening to let my mind and body wander around until it quiets down. Nature is soothing to me. I get outside at least once a week to stay balanced.
The point about one thing at a time is actually a universal problem. There’s a lot of research on this about how context switching reduces executive velocity and quality and causes stress. My job is to help prevent this for the teams I manage and the industry term for this is single piece flow. Hope this helps a little, great channel which has made me aware; thank you!
I'm still in the weeds of my burnout recovery journey. I can't recall struggling with burnout much as a child, but a traumatic couple of years crashed my entire life and I feel like I haven't been "back" since. The clearest marker is dropping out of college (I was not emotionally or mentally ready because of CPTSD). Since then, I have spent many years "doing nothing" or playing video games, watching youtube etc all day every day, with short breaks of employment in between. I now have the privilege to refuse employment (it's my greatest source of burnout), but I know that won't last long and so I'm stressing over finding a way to self employ via artistic pursuits. I'm on a slow upward trajectory, but I still don't understand how recovery works for me. Right now, I'm fixated on the idea that I need my own living space in order to truly recover. I don't believe I can recover while living with other people. I feel like a battery that cannot fully charge. I wish I knew of a better way to recover while still living with other people, because I have years of experience to prove that video games and youtube aren't enough.
Art and nature and gardening are my outlets to having alone time and yet live with others. Maybe finding that alone time every week will help. Good luck
I really wonder if CPTSD is the culprit behind many cases of autism. I am self-diagnosed (I have one child, who was formally diagnosed in her late teens). I think I definitely suffer from CPTSD, and possibly autism, but they can look very much alike. I lived with other people for about nine months last year and felt like I was never (mentally) going to get back on my feet until I got into my own, solitary domicile again. Thank goodness I was able to make that move. I could not control my living environment and felt like I "couldn't hear myself think."
I have a 'grownup' 9-5 job 4 days a week. In an ideal world I would chase my passion in music. But I know that I wouldn't be able to handle that lifestyle. The regularity of a 9-5 is just better for my mental health. In the artist lifestyle I know there are moments of great pleasure and fulfillment. But I also know there would be suffering, burnout and insufferable chaos 75% of the time
Setting my own schedule, working a job that doesn't demand I sell 40 hours each week, resting when I'm tired, making time for play. During the warmer months I spend a lot of time in my garden. I'm still trying to figure out something to meet that need in the dead of winter, as my small seed starting station and houseplants just don't produce the same effect.
I tend to nap, scroll, binge-watch, or binge-read (novels). I can need to do this for a few days at times. I'm an AuDHD-combo SAHM to 2 AuDHD-combo kids who are becoming teens and it's incredibly stressful. I'm finding that the break during the day when they're at school isn't enough to replenish me for the after-school onslaught of emotional outbursts. I don't sleep as well at night as I'd like, so each day I start slightly worse off than the day before.
I have only been doing research but I suspect I'm a combo as well. Also a SAHM, with four kids presenting symptoms of both, & two very demanding toddlers. Drama fits & meltdowns daily. You aren't alone. 🫂
I was actually wondering about how autistic parents can recover from burnout. I have two young kids in the spectrum as well and we homeschool. It is not as "easy" (in brackets because regardless it is not easy for anyone to take those breaks) when literally even 24h days are not long enough.
@crawfordroses thank you for commenting in solidarity. If you get yourselves formally assessed there would be support available. I'm in the process of getting all of us assessed, and then hoping for supports. Love, hugs and luck to you!
@Kristal Viñas being AuDHD myself adds an extra layer of challenge, and also an extra layer of understanding. Even though it's difficult when I myself reach burnout and meltdown, as a family we are muddling through OK. We aren't homeschooling because my girls want to go to school. They often have days at home though. I've looked into doing HS, in case it ever comes to it. Thanks for connecting 🙂
One of the hardest parts of me being an Autistic woman is the fact that the Therapists refuse to diagnose me and test me. They dodged me many times. My mom and I have known my whole life that I have high-functioning Autism, specifically Assbergers. Funny part is that I have been trying to keep my Emotions under control and my own family keeps saying that I am trash, a terrible person, and that I am evil for just responding to their evil behaviors. I use meditative practices for my autism. It helps with my barriers, emotions, and mental health. More importantly, I used the pop balloon methods to help recondition myself to go from self-hating to self-loving. I still get burn-outs, but it's getting easier each time because I am learning how to not give so much energy with people who are so aggressive in general.
I'm still trying to figure out how to do this. I am recently diagnosed at 40 years old, and I'm extremely burnt out. I was married, I had a career making good money in the tech industry, I had a child, I bought a house, and then everything fell apart. It took me years to figure out why, but I was just burnt out. I didn't know how to to take breaks or how long. I took breaks that weren't very productive because I wasn't alone, or there was too much noise, or I was with family. Now I'm divorced (this is a good thing), and I have a ton of free time. But I'm also running out of money, so while I need to take a break so I can heal from decades of burnout, I don't have that luxury. I'm working on getting disability, but that will take a while. In the meantime, everyone just demands I get a job when I know I'm not ready to work again. So I'm just stuck in limbo right now. I'm stressed out about a ton of things and I rarely feel like I relax.
Similarly situation with burnout and not having luxury of being independently wealthy. Didn’t go through the divorce. Had a separation before getting married. Hopefully disability will come through soon for you so at least you can have some stability without anxiety in the background. It’s been decades long here too. Really not functioning well as need to and also people can’t understand why I’m not aggressive about getting more work as I am grossly underemployed. Getting out in nature has helped. Perhaps it can help you too. Saunas also somehow help,or simply a long shower. Meditation may help. Hope you’ll find what works for you.
As a full time stem student, president of an environmental club and doing a paid project for the college, I am finding myself really burnt out socially this quarter. I find myself not wanting to be mute when I come home and wishing I can be that way during the school days. I know I’m burnt out but feel that I can’t drop anything at the moment. Socially and mentally as an autistic person it has been really really hard this quarter.
Your process is similar to mine. I took a week off work and then had the holiday vacation time at the end of the year for 3 weeks off total. I did almost nothing, other than some cleaning around the house. I didn't even cook much! The only human interaction I had was with my spouse haha I felt much better once I returned to work in January. I think going forward, I'm going to try to pay attention to my body more and take short breaks more often so it doesn't get that bad, but I know that I have enough vacation time saved to take a lot of time if necessary.
I have been trying to recover from long-term burnout for about five years now. I often find that whatever “momentum” I have right after returning from a break is completely wiped out if I get sick. Unfortunately, it’s normal for me to fall ill for about a week right after a break (stress and immune system I guess?), and I just wish the world would stop for me to catch my breath. Instead, I get more and more behind in my work, increasingly disregulated, and feel guilt for my shortcomings. The problem is that I know exactly what I need in order to recover, but so few people understand what I experience or can appropriately meet my support needs. This crash-try to rest-repeat cycle feels endless.
I've only known I was autistic for a few months. I've begun to suspect that I've been burned out for years. Not even sure how to deal with it yet. I feel like I'm to the point of being a hermit if I could. I've been working on taking as much downtime as possible.
Thank you for sharing this, Paul. For a couple of years i did the three day weekend and purchased additional leave so i could have a week every couple of months. I also reduced my entire social life to almost nil. It was only when i'd done all this and still melted down, almost fully dysfunctional in my day to day tasks and unable to cope with even feeding myself properly was i diagnosed as autistic. Needless to say, not fully understanding where i was at, i pushed to be able to return to work a few months later. The RTW was staggered and i'm still only doing 10hrs a week and socially about 3hrs a fortnight and its over 6 months since my therapist and doc gave me the okay to try. I've come to the conclusion early retirement is probably the best thing I can do for my life at this point. Its not been an easy decision as i support myself financially and my executive function is still very poor.
I had a burn out at work and took 4 months off until I felt ready to go back to work. Im going back next week but if I burn out again then I will just retire and call it a day . I did my best .
I am undiagnosed but probably on the spectrum. An interesting thing is that I have an obsession with Australia, which probably has to do with my obsession with the colour orange and how Australia's Outback has orange dirt.
So here I am again, quit another job cos I'm burned out - only took 5 months this time. However, I knew this would probably happen so have been considering what the long term "fix" is and, for me, it's creating a situation where I work on my own timescale. Having the month off, then I'm going to work part time in a self employed sales role that pays me residual commissions - will build up over time and mean I will get paid irrespective of whether I work or not. I'm convinced the answer for me is flexibility and not having to work to a timescale or within idiotic corporate restrictions. Instead just focus on one thing, work when I want.
I have been off work for close to 2 months (not intentional but it's been good) however having 5yo twin ND boys it hasn't exactly been a break. It has also been financially stressful.
People, crowds, even certain individuals :-) can be a real drain on me. It depends on the situation. I shop more in the quiet periods and visit coffee shops when they are less likely to be busy. Like others have remarked on, high functioning presents the highest likelihood that I'll get drained. I like to spend time in nature; holiday alone and seek solitude. I'm trying to see the unexpected behaviour of others differently - as opportunities to practise patience rather than triggers. Grateful for your videos.
I literally just began my journey of unmasking it seems. I stumbled upon your videos and pennies started dropping all over the place. I am from Ireland but live on the Camino de Santiago. I feel I was drawn here for peace of mind without consciously knowing why. Every one of your videos has resonated with me but this one made me sit up. I walk the Camino for exactly the reason you describe. It helps me with burnout and focus it has a very special place in my heart... and Brain. If you ever come again you are most welcome to stay with me. Thank you for all that you do 🙏
I know someone that works long hours for a year or 2 and saves every penny they can so that they can take a few months off at a time. I personally used to work full-time when I was younger and then would burn out at about the 2 year mark and not be able to work without having planned ahead, (I don't recommend that 😂). Now that I'm older I only take part-time work contracts doing jobs that I enjoy, so burning out doesn't really happen anymore for me. This took me 20 years to figure out though, so go easy on yourself, adulting is hard!
I was a full compensated Aspie (no diagnosis) till I got Covid and then Post-Covid and ME/CFS. Because of the symptoms (cognitiv and physical) I couldn't compensate anymore. No more masking, lots of sensory issues, to fatigued and impaired to relax with my special interests and hobbys (mostly outside, sports), frequent overloads and meltowns. Post-Covid gave me a major autistic burnout, leading to diagnosis. I'm happy to know I am an Aspie, but I still hope PCS will go away and I will be compensated again.
For the coming uni term I am planning to not only take Friday off as far as possible, but also to visit fewer lectures so I can have more me-time during the week - I decided that fast progress in my studies is way less important than making sure to not be burnt out basically the whole time (and I actually plan to use my increased amount of me-time to learn a lot of things related to my studies that I can't learn in the offered uni courses)
Thanks for sharing! I worked so intensely that I was often exhausted, and now suffer some chronic illnesses. I decided to work part time and realized the extra off days to wind down and then to get ready for another intense (shorten) work week, that really helped me much.
I definitely experience the same as you in regards to winding down on the weekend. Saturday I feel like I can't relax - like my mind is still in work mode. Then on Sunday, although I start to wind down, by mid afternoon I'm stressed because I realise the weekend is almost over and I'm going back to work again shortly, and don't feel like I've relaxed at all! I'm finding burnout to be a real issue for me, and in my current job, I am just exhausted all the time... I might investigate the possibility of working 4 day weeks in my next contract - even if it means working longer to days... I feel like I really need that extra day off. Great video man, I hope you enjoyed your break... Welcome back!
So glad you're back! I hit a serious long-term burnout mid 2021. Took off the first half of 2022 , went back to work/research in the fall, and only just now in 2023 am I starting to feel somewhat capable again. My current strategy is to make Tuesdays optional, so I can 'dip my toe' into the week, then pull back and regroup for Wed-Fri as needed. That's been going well so far. Just had the first "normal" feeling full day of work - without intense fatigue - in god knows how long. Such small thing to be proud of, but it means a lot after all this time.
I really appreciate this video. I am a school teacher and the littles really take it out of me. They are wonderful. It is still so draining on my energy. I try to take at least two nights off of any commitments during the week, take my school breaks seriously, screen ALL of my phone calls, and disconnect from things for a month in the summer. It's still a constant battle.
Thank you. Appreciate your channel and your insights. I find I don't notice I've burnt out until I'm in the midst of one, and then it is a complicated journey to get myself back into some semblance of a routine. I hear you when you say having time out and having a simple routine when on a break is so beneficial. I love the idea of doing the Camino Trail. Perfect way to keep things simple and at the same time keep moving. It's on my bucket list.
Great to see you again! I also took January off...I slept through the whole thing. I am starting to feel more energetic now. Your trip will be fantastic 😊
Great to see you again. I do a chi-gong and meditation routine in the early morning to calm down my thoughts and encrease my vital energy. I am currently recovering from burn out. Already nine months and not yet fully recovered.
I don’t have the ability to take multiple days off from work in a row, but almost every day i take a bath or shower in the dark, even if it’s brief, and let my brain do whatever it wants to do, or just focus on the sensation of water which i find very calming. For me the burnout cycle is like a wave and i have to control the amplitude. Once i’m crashing, it just needs to run itself out, and sometimes i’m just stuck and trying to mask and it’s awful, but my little frequent escape valves help me reduce the frequency and depth of burnout
In addition to trying to schedule in down time every week, I also previously used to block out the last 3 days of every month. So no regular house task routine, no appts, no friends, and as little secular work as possible done in the most relaxing way possible. Although some unavoidable tasks did creep in, I did my best to push them back out to another day. This actually was highly effective for me. However, due to the amount of planning and self-discipline it takes, I have let this method slip to the wayside. This video is motivating me to start practicing this method again. I just blocked off Feb 26-28 in my calendar. Thanks so much for this.
I’m trying to recover from burnout at the moment but it’s difficult to know how to recover. Your video offers some awesome advice. Hopefully I can work out a recovery routine that will work for me.
I did the same thing. I took off 4 weeks in Dezember and January, because I really needed (or still need) recovery. But once again I realized that just taking off isn't enough. Especially since I visited my family for a majority of that time. Since I don't need to do anything while I'm there I totally lose any strict routine I can follow. Instead I feel like I'm drowning in a swamp of consuming things and killing time. That made me realize: If I take some time off I need a plan what I should do in that time. In the bast case this plan includes exercising and yoga.
This is so interesting and you're so inspirational. I've never thought of taking long holidays and even thought that it wouldn't be possible, but you showed us it's possible and the significance of doing so.
It takes as long as it wants to, and if you're in a hurry, it takes longer.
so true! I didn't address that aspect, but trying to 'rush' a recovery does seem to make it take longer!
Exactly Lean it the hard way 😂😂
Yes, my brain needs a complete and total break to recover quickly and that just doesn't exist. The reality is I still have to have small interactions every day, and the more there are, the longer it takes to recover.
So true. I tried to return to work way too early after major burnout in 2018. As a result I’ve spent several additional years as a recluse and can’t imagine ever being well enough to try to work again. 😢
And, other, even family, don't understand that.
I don’t know if anyone else have the same feelings but the lockdown really helped me. The lockdown also sort of made me realize the differences I have being able to go months without social interaction while others go days and lose their minds.
I had very mixed feelings when I learned that my job was essential. I was thankful to still be getting a paycheck, but incredibly jealous of everyone who got all that extra time at home.
I came to the same realization. I felt freedom during the pandemic and didn't want it to end 😂 I wish life could be this quiet all the time
I was already living as if I was in lockdown, as I had quit my job the year before. I was a little bitter about everyone else entering lockdown, in a self-pitying kind of way. Like, "Oh, this is new for you? Join the club." Though I was doing it by choice to heal, so I really was just being self absorbed. It's interesting to see how the pandemic affected people differently, especially the social interaction like you said. It's good that employers are now a lot more open to letting their employees stay home when they really don't need to go into an office to do their jobs.
I loved the serenity of not having to deal with people face to face. The downside is that I got too used to it...!!
Agreed! With the addendum that with the return to office masking is like a foreign language I never mastered.
It took a while for me to accept that I need a lot of rest. Complete rest, no friends, no household chores, not even reading, maybe apart from something very light. Basically, sitting, looking at the sky outside the window and cuddling with the cat.
I cut down to three night shifts a week and do decline any extra shifts. The plan for this year is to use my annual leave strategically, selecting a single day off each month in a way that gives me a whole week off. It’s a learning curve, but I think I am getting somewhere.
I really want to encourage all of us who are autistic to take our energy needs seriously. They are needs, so not meeting them has consequences. We deserve to live well and be supported to do what it takes to care for our well being.
Like a lot of us, my life before my late diagnosis was characterised by periods of regular burnout. They just got worse and worse until I had some big burnouts that fed into significant illnesses (mental and physical). I managed to recover from things that have very low recovery rates, so after that I was determined to do what it takes to stay well. It was in the middle of really coming to terms with what that means for me I realised my needs are atypical and that I am autistic.
I am pretty lucky that I do have the option to live in a way that works for me and I have good support. I prioritise energy management and I'm so much better for it. And I just feel my wellbeing is safe in a way it never was in my 40+ years of life. We all deserve that, we've been through more than enough. 💛
💗 so true!
I have been constantly collapsing every few weeks, sometimes less since last March. My doctor has been trying to help figure out what could be wrong with me. Finally, from watching your videos as well as others, I’m accepting that I am suffering from severe burnout. I’m pretty high functioning and have always been extremely hyperactive as well as constantly masking. I feel it’s all over now, I can’t mask anymore, I’m just so tired. I’m trying to just focus on one thing at a time that I can cope with so I don’t have to feel completely useless. Certainly wish I could just disappear to a really quiet place where there aren’t any people, just nature. I don’t seem to be able to regulate my emotions, what a mess.
The reduction in ability to self-monitor and self-regulate is frustrating! Coupled with that constant need to get away from people and sensory input and responsibilities and requirements, the burnout itself can burn you out further even if you escape the original cause!
Sorry you're going through that - doubly so for that feeling of uselessness. When I stopped working for a while, it made things worse, not better - work was burning me out but it was also the *only* thing left that I could actually do! Stepping away from it meant confronting how much the burnout had taken from me and how little I could do. It's all so counter-intuitive sometimes.
I hope that you're able to get a foothold and start replenishing this year.
@Tony is Wrong thank you. I'm researching Polyvagal theory now, looking for some understanding of my nervous system and how I can cope better. It does help to be able to share and not feel so alone and even more weird because most people can't relate.
I also often wish I could just disappear into nature for a while.
Welcome in our club!
It’s similar here. I’d been trying to manage over a couple decades, and the past five were way overloaded, and so much people trouble and sensory trouble, with the pandemic ironically giving some relief.
I think nature helps a lot. We used to have more of it around. Now we have so many people, noises, smells, pollution, chemical buildings, constant overload, excess demands at specific times that don’t match when downtime is needed.
Relating to animals can help too. They are more honest, much easier to relate to generally.
Here I’ve kind of had a breakdown, with physical sensitivity in overdrive, immune crashes and mental organisational challenges. Out of character, what I’m doing to survive is not as ethical or true to self as preferred but I’m not able to force my own action any more, simply cannot focus and feel unwell when trying to force action for responsibility sake.
Small things, which are so seldom allowed, seem to help: a walk in the park (but better in real nature as it seems there is chemical spraying in the park), caring for plants, drawing, doodling, more doodling, doing craftwork, climbing trees (trying), exploring with the dogs, talking to the birds and haggling with the crow, lazing around or playing with the cat, writing, creating recipes, working with clay, repairing and redesigning space, photography, having a cup of tea, studying for own interest without deadlines or such, and so on.
These small things and taking a day to do nothing required or scheduled seem to help a lot .
Recently I’ve had to take a day or rest period between each required or expected chore or task. Office cannot understand why I cannot immediately do the next task if I’m done with the other, so I’ve had to say I’m doing something else…which I am, recovering from overload breakdown (which I cannot say) . Friends who want to help cannot understand why I’m so ungrateful that I need to sleep or sit in bed instead of take help right away instead of help the next day (and it is urgent as I’m underemployed, which was one of the breakdown triggers since life was less flexible when employment became a constant struggle of finding temp short term projects or work, and I couldn’t afford the non-free go-tos for recovery from sensory overload, nor immune boosters or balancers such as massage, acupuncture, or trips to the mountains and beach (had a couple cancers among other things as I insisted on being responsible before, or at least trying my best, by doing what was expected and what I’d committed to regardless of if others did or not, or were fair or not, or kept their end up or not, regardless). Anyhow, without being able to regularly do such, or afford it, and being unable to choose less toxic environments or better less toxic housing and less toxic commutes (I react to the new train materials in the regular sections and the newer lights), so my system crashed after being unable to afford supports. So now I need, must, rest in between being overloaded, and it’s really tough to get it understood. I don’t want to end up in the hospital from overload, with cancer or other system exhaustion response. Whether they understand or not, I’m doing it, resting between required actions such as getting a file project done or such, have to rest, and it helps..it helps not to get more sick, helps to feel better, and helps to more successfully do and get through the next requirement.
So I don’t know if it helps you, or would help but that pattern of do, rest, do rest, do rest, and then making some long rests (by rest I mean not obligated activity and nothing scheduled) helps. I do whatever I have energy for on that day. If there is no energy, I stay in. If I have energy, then I get out in nature, or if I don’t feel well enough I do what I can inside. That seems to help a lot when I’m allowed to manage that way.
I say allowed because pressure and lack of understanding can be intense. I used to do what was expected no matter what, but putting myself in toxic environments and getting things done because people didn’t understand the smoke or chemicals from the flooring or such was truly making me I’ll and was the reason I couldn’t focus well, only ended up with me having immune and other issues, and what looked liked dementia but probably was not (although with enough toxic chemicals I suppose a plaque reaction would develop and circulation would be harmed..so real dementia or Alzheimer’s like symptoms may result, sad.
Anyhow, I hope you can avoid it getting worse and can mitigate more trouble. This UA-cam has been so helpful, Paul and a couple others are great with strategies, for many personality types actually they might be helpful.
Long winded as usual but I feel for you and have had similar. So wishing you the best with it all.
A significant way I've learned to avoid burnout is never shopping on the weekend as a rule. I'm fine with the weekday grocery crowd, but Saturdays especially are overwhelming. I'm constantly worried about not offending strangers by being in the way and taking up space (if only they would be as considerate and move their cart over just a couple more inches so I can get by...). If you have the flexibility to shop on a weekday before school is out, absolutely do it then instead. Best times are 10 to 2 (a lot of places don't open until 10 and a lot of people get off work or school after 2).
This is validating. I had to step away from my overstimulating career and my family and friends don't all fully understand why. Masking and sensory overload took its toll on my mental health and I'm content working as a waitress and making just enough to get by. You can't put a price on good mental health.
"You can't put a price on good mental health." I so hear that.. I was a severely anxious child, so much so that I had succumbed to mental instability by the time I was a kindergartener! I didn't begin to recover until I was in my early 40's. I feel blessed to have survived those years. My life now has friends, some family, a few things I enjoy doing. My anxieties still rear their heads but I can deal better with them. All in all, life is good.
Now that I have retired and I can rest whenever I want to, I find my memory has improved. Sometimes when I walk my little dog, I chat with the ocasional neighbor and find that later I can remember their names. Amazing! Since I cherish my rest times, but still have everyday responsibilities, I will sometimes make a list and try to do as many things in a day as I possibly can, kind of sprinting through my day. It makes me feel good to accomplish so much in one day, and I reward myself by doing practically nothing the rest of the week.
"I am allowed to create a life that works for me,
I am allowed to need what I need.
I am allowed to rest,
I am allowed to go slow,
I am allowed to take the time to grow.
I am allowed to ask,
I am allowed to receive,
I am allowed to open the door to ease.
I am allowed to stop,
I am allowed to breathe,
I am allowed to create a life that works for me."
Sending love to everyone experiencing burnout at the moment. And so much gratitude for this video and all the comments left here. They have really helped me today.
Your words here have really helped me today, thank you. It's hard to give ourselves permission for these things, but a bit easier when we see others doing it 🙏
@@BH-kw8rh I'm glad they helped. So true that it can be really hard to give ourselves permission and definitely it helps seeing others doing it. We all help lift each other up.
One strategy I use, is to periodically take breaks.
Think about it like jogging. You can run at a slower speed, then switch to sprinting, then back to running slower.
Rather than working super hard all day, after an hour or 2, you can take a short break, and you don't have to fully recover. As you mentioned, you saw some improvement by taking breaks, even without a full recovery.
Rather than trying to sprint all day, then crashing at the end, you could try to sprint for 2 hours, then jog for 10 or 20 minutes, and get some recovery, even if it's not full. You just need enough to get through the next 2 hours. Then at the end of the day, recovery can be much quicker because there's a bit less to recover from. Basically spreading it out into short bursts, instead of trying to go for large amounts of time.
Also, if you pay attention to how you feel before the burnout, and try to memorize how you feel throughout the day for some time, you may be able to predict when it may come, and take a short break before burnout happens.
The older I get, the more quickly I burn out. Thankfully, I was able to retire about five years ago. I find that I can only relax when I'm totally alone. I have a dog, but I even find him to be stressful at times. I didn't mind one bit staying at home during Covid.
I'm 32 and didn't figure out this is what made me so different from everyone until a little over a year ago. I of course knew about autism and what not, but never had experience with anyone that I knew had it, other than the stereotypical autistics.
From counting and guiding every single step, to trying to match out every social interaction I COULD have and how I MIGHT respond, I assumed for a long time people were more like me and thought like me. Anytime I ever go in depth with my thoughts however, always lead to confusing looks or just disbelief like I'm lying.
I wish I had good tips but my burnouts haven't ended since I was a teenager, it's been mostly one long minor with many majors peppered in there. It's absolutely exhausting just doing 'normal life' and no one seems to understand that. I've been stuck for years and I was hoping that finally understanding what makes me so different would help me figure out ways to combat the things that are holding me back but they're not.
I found your channel shortly after finding out about myself, the constant google and youtube searching of autism helped, and it has helped me understand a ton more. I just want to say thank you because I know how hard it is talking, making videos and speeches, and just forcing yourself out of your shell for the benefit of others.
Nearly same. Super thanks to this YT series, Paul and others too. As you said it’s so hard to do these and they do anyhow.
After getting let go from my last job for being chronically burned out, it really turned me off of working really hard. I can't push my body past its limit anymore. No more becoming so exhausted that I can barely move the mop from side-by-side, as the hotel manager continued to pile more tasks onto me. I seem to need a lot of rest in order to feel okay. I seem to take longer to do things than most people. Getting ready to go to work feels like a daunting task most days, with so many things to do before I even step outside of the house. It's literally like working a part-time job before going to a second job. If I were to imagine what it feels like after working 3 hours, that's how I feel when I am finally able to leave the house. OCD (checking things multiple times) is about half of the problem, and just about 50% of my energy is spent by the time I head off for work. But yeah, part-time working hours is about right for me at this point in time.
I feel exactly like this too. Just managin my basic live takes the energy of a part time work 😥
@Rumenig Pires Yeah, it's difficult because we never had to work two job positions at the same time ten or twelve years ago, and now we have to take on AT LEAST two job positions, as the manager piles on more tasks to your everyday tasks, and then gets irritated when you can't get out on time. It also seems like you can't ever let them know that you are feeling stressed out; because if you aren't calm and smiling all day everyday, coworkers start to comment, and then the boss hears about it and starts to think about hiring a new person. Meanwhile, it doesn't help when your coworkers lie and say that they completed tasks when they didn't, because then the manager thinks that they can add on more tasks then. And if YOU'RE the one who's actually trying to finish everything, you're the one who gets burned out and let go, and the lying coworker gets to stay because they "have a personality" . . . because my last manager said that she hires based on personality, not on the work that people do. And that's when it dawned on me that the reason why I didn't get hired at the 100+ office jobs that I applied for (with my completed English degree, plus an Office Administration Certificate) was most likely because they could tell that I was a systematic thinker, who would rather be left alone while completing my work. It seems frowned upon when people like me don't like to stand and chit-chat. We're supposed to act like we have SO much extra time, that we can chit chat and appear calm and energetic; giving the impression that it's an easy job and not a big deal. How dare we cause the boss any guilt because they see us getting exhausted and struggling, as we are completing the tasks that THEY put upon us . . . how dare they have to see that! But overall, I can tell you right now that my lower stress levels, and getting more sleep has improved my OCD symptoms by a good 75% now. So I really hope that I don't have to live in chronic stress and burnout ever again, as it literally changes my body and brain chemistry. Life still feels like it goes too fast for me though. Pretty soon it's going to be Thanksgiving again, and we will have to run around on panic mode, instead of just relaxing and enjoying the holiday . . . .
“It takes always longer than I think” - this is so true! I am trying to recover from a burnout right now and somehow don’t make much progress. That’s probably part of it takes longer than I thought.
What helps me is being out in nature and feeling the cold wind on my skin, it’s winter here, and seeing the greenery and the water with the ducks pedalling along.
That’s all lovely sensory input which I seem to need. When I am just inside, everything gets worse.
After living as a hermit for a few years, I have recently made an effort to socialize. I think I overdid it yesterday. I visited with four friends and exchanged emails with another. (I'm still in shock that I have five friends). Today I feel like my body and brain are on fire. I am completely burnt out, can barely function, can't hold onto a thought. I was glad to see this video. Reminded me that this is normal.
Just stumbled across your videos and they really resonate with me. I am undiagnosed but suspect I may have ASD. Have taken a week break from work and it's been the best thing ever having some space and time to decompress and reset.
I feel that feeling overwhelmed by large crowds would be a great video to do since I often wish that I could live like a hermit
I’ve been in burnout for years. Nothing ever seem to be enough to make me want to do anything again. I just just want to be left alone to sleep forever. I know I need help but trying to find it and getting a proper autism diagnostic has been a living nightmare. My brother has his diagnostic cause his autism is more obvious. But I’m a high masking autistic girl and it took years for me to réalise what was off with my brain and why everything seemingly easy seemed so difficult for me!
Same for me. I can no longer work more than a few hours. I just want to watch TV and hide.
What works for me is taking first week of month off. Since that is when you need pay rent, paybills, my big food shopping for the month. I didn't realize such a simple thing could add stress on my plate. Now as I said above, I take first week of month off. It helps me.
I had a burnout that lasted a lil more than a year. I couldn't even do my favorite things. Every time I tried do something simple as house cleaning, I couldn't.
Yeah, I know a thing or two about autistic burnout. I’m an author by trade and I need a lot of practice writing stories and poems for public consumption. I was super-active in my 20’s, but once I started getting into my 30’s, my work slowed down significantly. And then the pandemic started and my work REALLY started slowing down. And now here I am in 2023 wondering when I’ll get my energy back on a permanent basis. For all the times I can’t do creative work, I either lay around and lament or I watch You Tube videos. What’s really getting me through burnout lately is The Price Is Right. Seeing people win cool shit and lots of money gives me a much-needed dopamine blast. Their happiness makes me happy in return. I also ditched my Twitter account and stopped consuming so much world news. I haven’t made a great deal of changes in my diet and exercise routine, but that’s more of a long term thing than an immediate step. It’ll take some time to see if all of this pays off in the long run, but I’m having a high-mood day today, so I’m naturally optimistic about it.
I'm exactly in the same boat. I burnt out for a second time in three months. I am almost always positive. It's easier to come back with solutions (and it makes me feel good when people are happy). But then the crash happens and I have to think thoughts of fav funny moments to literally get laughing going and it happens when I have zero motivation to watch something I love that I find funny. i recite five grateful things daily before I get outta bed if I'm not down bad. Long journey. Back to square one but now determined and won't stop until I find out the diagnosis.
@@HolisticHealing77 Sorry it took so long for me to reply...but it seems as though I've found the source of my constant tiredness. In addition to being autistic, I'm also schizophrenic. Anhedonia (loss of pleasure) is a common symptom of schizophrenia and it was made worse in the 2020's. Loss of motivation, mental fatigue, inability to concentrate, these are all things that come with the anhedonia package. And because anhedonia is a negative symptom, it can't be treated, unlike positive symptoms. Well...that's my day so far.
I am burnt out, from harrassments from social services (is that the English term?).
We are supposed to cooperate, but they didn’t.
So I’ve been sick in different ways.
Because I am recovering from a major burnout, I’ve had for many years, in my recovery, when I fall back into burnout, my body just stops working as it should.
So I’ve stayed at home, two months now.
Trying to have good company around, to get some help, and do some art, read, take my time, eat well, sleep well and have baths, exercise, meditate, and I’ve just started taking some tiny and slow walks, evebthough it’s freezing cold outside.
In the beginning of this, I managed to get some help from the church, where I could speak to them about what was happening. And then my doctor has rung me up, and she is supportive.
So that’s sort of what I need - prople to talk to on my terms, and friends I can be relaxed with. Food, friendship over food, manic dleeping patterns, so just being allowed to sleep whenever I need to sleep.
Exercise at home.
Friends.
Since I'm "only" self-diagnosed and still relatively new to the world of information there is about autism (I realized it in 2021), it's still a lot to take in. For all these years, my burnout symptoms after interacting with people (planned or unplanned) and everyday stimuli that most people don't seem to care about, were valid feelings generated in a neurodivergent brain and not a sign of me being "crazy" or a "sociopath".
I've been diagnosed with autism since 6th grade in 2012 (though previously diagnosed with ADHD and been treated as a special ed kid). I started what I now know is burning out in 2015, which resulted in a pretty big meltdown in 2016. I took a small break and tried to get back on my feet, and I managed to do so until setbacks in my personal life resulted in me becoming a hermit in 2020. It wasn't until 2021, where I was socially "allowed" to spend all my time at home and just recoup my energy that I realised that it wasn't just my mental health, I was feeling burnt out. It's taken me years of half-resting and all of 2022 reflecting on my mental health to finally feel like I can start making progress in life again. Your channel has been an incredible help in coming to terms with the fact that I am not broken or wrong, I am just different.
I’m finally being reassessed for “high functioning” autism at 19, and watching these videos is so so gratifying. I’ve been living in my bed outside of class and I’ve felt so much guilt about it, but I feel like I really need it. Every task has become too much.
Ironic isn't it when others label you 'high functioning', whereas someone with say a mental health problem or chronic pain that meant they spent all their free time in bed to recover would be labelled as seriously affected...
@@squidge125 Hell, I don't even feel high functioning. I'm doing the bare minimum and I'm still left feeling incredibly burnt out. I just appear high functioning to others.
I've always found the term 'high functioning' ridiculous for myself. It feels like my entire life is falling apart and I can't function at all...
Only discovered I have autism last year, at 31 yo, because of burnout :(
High-functioning autism, when it was a part of the DSM, simply meant IQ above 70. It doesn't mean what you might think it means.
You hit the nail on the head. We need more time for recovery.
I found that I need a 3 day weekend, because the first day is sleeping nearly the entire time from exhaustion. Then the next day 2 days are actually my weekend where I can plan my errands and prep for the week ahead. And I need to add some fun in there too so I don't get depressed.
This is just basic functioning for work and not taking off for any vacations, self care or significant downtime to really decompress.
I only just realized WHY I am not like others though, being neurodivergent in nearly all the ways one could be. So this is not even talking any of that into consideration.
Do you outsource to an assistant? That is one way to get more decompression time is to do more outsourcing and continually improving on methods of "sliding" the work back and forth with as little brain power involved from you as possible. So finding someone as well as the resources to help the assistant to need less input and direction from you, while you pass it onto them to do those things for you.
This is really it, isn’t it, we need more time for recovery…and some fun in there not to get depressed. Doing it that way functioning works much better and we can actually work super well.
I’d add though, it doesn’t seem to function well on somebody else’s schedule. It’s not all predictable. However, it would work better with the three day work week and time to decompress.
I find I’m the same and so need that extra day.
Setting my own schedule, doing less in a day and resting as needed, doing work I enjoy (and which I feel good doing), making time for fun, getting outside (going for a walk, gardening, taking photos of small things in nature), spending time with my dog, etc. Also making art and working on creative projects ticks a lot of boxes for me. When I need a bigger break from my head/thoughts/everything else, I go for stories... reading a good book/series, or binge watching shows or movies on Netflix allows me to take a break from my own life and it's very accessible. Being flexible, slowing down and giving myself space for whatever helps at the time is the main thing. I find these tactics very helpful in sorting out short burnouts from overwhelm and in preventing long burnouts.
First, for you (added after I realized it should be here, ofc): I do so understand you. Relax. Every autistic person here understands you. Be well, brother.
I have few minor burnouts and tend to build up strong long term burnouts from working (having to spend time in ways that leave me overstimulated). My cycle is horrid. Two years of work used to cause an acute inability to function in a work situation for 1.5-2.5 years. I did this for 20 years. Then I finally broke, or well.. my worst burnout ever won't reset even after 5 years of getting to almost only be myself. Now my mind refuses to function in a work environment at all. In fact, it refuses to do work. I just get a meltdown within a couple of hours, that takes days to reset.
The reason it got this way is that I didn't know I had ASD. I just got diagnosed with burnout over and over again.
I also have ADHD which sort of hid the ASD because it makes me ACT very extroverted even though I thoroughly NEED to be introverted. Other people commonly perceive me as a slightly strange person and don't suspect me of having either, although I'm sure some people think me extremely weird, or possibly insane, because they've interacted with me just when I've had a sudden hard minor meltdown.
So now, at 45, I've been on sick leave, then extended health leave, and finally permanent disability since my final breakdown almost 5 years ago. I'm only 45 years old. Fortunately for me I live in a country that has a functional welfare system.
I’ve been in severe burnout since roughly february-march of 2022, my burnout got extremely bad in mid september and I started researching to try and find out what I was experiencing. I spent the first few months of researching having a lot of lows, but now since i’m used to my therapy routine & i discovered that what I’m experiencing is autistic burnout, I feel like I’ve gotten back a small piece of my life! These videos never fail to help me and make me feel less guilty for my autistic needs.
To anyone out there that is going through this and can’t find someone with a similar experience, I am PROMISING you it gets so much better, no matter how horrible it feels now. Even if you’ve lost hope, a massive part of this journey is actually regaining that hope that it gets better. Something thing I’ve also been told is that it gets worse before it gets better and I cannot agree with that more, always remind yourself! Resting is so important for us autistic people, so please, please rest! There are so many forms of rest I recommend researching. Social rest, sensory rest, emotional rest, physical rest etc.
You are not alone in this journey!
Thank you Paul, that resonated with me. I also love walking, aiming to do 10,000 steps a day.
I’ve been thinking that our ancestors used to live in more open air spaces without so much stimuli of crowds, etc.
Being connected in with nature, away from noise is such a simple, yet often under-appreciated pastime.
One reason Autism may be on the rise is the reduction in open air spaces, time and place to be in nature, and the excessive stimuli. Those aren’t the only reasons but likely have a strong impact.
From what I’ve learned and experienced, there rarely a single answer for anything.
It always takes longer than you plan for - absolutely. Last year, around October, I noticed I was having increasing and quite severe fatigue, irritability, executive dysfunction, emotional disregulation, and this all-pervasive feeling that no matter what, I couldn't ever get enough time to relax - that everything was an imposition. Burnout! Eventually, it began to remove my ability to mask or even engage with things that rejuvenated me. That has been a hard lesson in having limits.
I've never sat down and reckoned with my sensory and cognitive limits before. Coming to terms with having these limits was already difficult and was made much, much harder by being burnt out *by work* and being unable to stop working. Worse, burnout stripped away my ability to do my usual meta-cognition. That's a tool I needed to use to come to terms with the burnout!
It's February of the next year now, and I'm still struggling to regain a foothold cognitively and emotionally. I took extra time off over the end of year holidays - wasn't nearly enough to get me stable. Quitting my job now as a result - but it wasn't the plan!
Feels like my own story... 😥
Extreme buen out 2005, 2011 and still making my way back
The only thing that helps me is to lay down and sleep every time I'm tired. When I'm in burnout it can be a lot of sleep, but i don't second-guess it, i just nap whenever i feel sleepy. It's like magic.
Been two years since I had a major burnout. Still not recovered. Struggle to understand why I'm tired sometimes. Like yourself I've realised shops tire me. I can't see friends and family two days in a row as the day after I'm absolutely exhausted and can't function. I've got my work down to 5 hrs a day. This allows me a bit of downtime after work to recover for the next working day. Also found lego as very good therapy to just completely zone out. Love your videos. Keep up the good work.
I'm the same with social events. I have to pace them out carefully. I love Lego too but it's been a while since I've built anything - but I will again for sure.
Ooh, Legos! I will have to try that. Thanks!
I have a breakdown now, the only thing I do is dedicating to the activities I like and I'm doing exercises to ricover from autistic depression.
It’s taken me almost three years so far. I feel like I’m close to being fully recovered
I have always known I need much more time than other people to actually relax and enjoy myself. For vacations, for example, a lot of people seem to enjoy a one week vacation, but I need at least two weeks to have the feeling I actually enjoyed myself or relaxed, a one month vacation would be best, as you mentioned. The problem with this is that people think you're being greedy or lazy if you say you need more time to relax.
I appreciate the time you take to try these different methods, it's sad that we have no real help or guidance from professionals yet and have to do this all ourselves. Lets hope we make some discoveries soon.
One of my strategies is to just get into my car and go for a drive. Yes, driving requires a lot of thought, but I say, "Plan where you want to go, have food and water, but just you and the open road are good.
Thank you for making these videos! Your channel is a gem ♥️
Thanks Rozana
@@autismfromtheInside It's Roxana dude
Recovery depends on how long it takes me to respond to the symptoms of burnout. In 2020, I noticed the signs but made no effort to stave it off. I kept pushing myself until I had a meltdown at work and had to go home. It took me around four months to recover. When I started noticing the symptoms last year, I took action and dropped my summer classes to give myself the mental/emotional break I needed. It only took me about a month to recover. It was the first summer I enjoyed since I started college. Coming back from zero vs coming back from a quart low is a huge difference.
This is why I've struggled to hold down a full-time job... I just get burned out too easily, a 2-day weekend is simply not enough. It feels like I'm working ALL the time, not just being "at" work but commuting back and forth, preparing for work (e.g. clothing, getting petrol, snacks/lunch), and having to interact/be around other people all day. So I've mostly just worked part-time/casual jobs.. a lot of delivery app gig jobs (e.g. ubereats), I like the flexibility, not having set hours and having to work with others. The downside is less income.. but I can work more hours when I need to, such as when rent is due. I just can't stand fixed regular working hours, i HAVE to be there at a specific time and location... it's constantly weighing on my mind.
I am changing my career pattern from 50hrs+ a week set hours, with tonnes of responsibility, to work self-employed freelance with less responsibility, so I can be really flexible and do what works for me. For instance, I'm a night owl with no kids- so doing shifts working from home evenings and weekends is great for me. Being able to decide I need a month off to completely decompress sounds amazing.
i suffered a severe burnout that developed into ME/CFS. I'm now on permanent disability and i get worse even doing things that used to relax me. music is my life and my sound processing is completely destroyed right now
Agree with what you said, I have always had same experience. 2 day weekends are ludicrous to me, it never felt like a break.
Before my diagnosis, I often found after a busy day, I feel so tired, that I'm not as effective the next. I have now learnt, if I am going to be busy all day, that I should rest the next.
Thanks for making this video! I have had to mask for a very long time for various reasons, so even acknowledging that I'm burning out and then giving myself permission to stop, rest, and recover is a huge thing. For the longest time I used to ignore it and then feel guilty if I needed a break or I needed to sleep a lot, because the NTs I lived with didn't understand about my issues and thought I was really lazy. Ironically, the pandemic gave me the opportunity to unmask altogether and I've spent the last few years learning how to live with myself again and navigate my needs. I'm venturing back into regular work now, so this video is a timely reminder to manage things in a way that also honour my need to recover.
I think that prolonged isolation in the pandemic has given a lot of people (myself included) a non-optional period of being confronted with their raw self. A lot of folks I know have come to terms with ADHD, autism, and other divergences during the last few years. I hope your journey into the territory of 'regular' work is going well!
Giving myself permission to stop and rest has always plagued me with guilt, too. Other people don't have to do that so why do I need to so much? The pandemic gave me the first several months to rest. Then rediscover myself. And I made a decision that I need to be outside in nature or gardening every week to stay sane. Allow my mind and body to wander in the "quiet" outside has helped me a lot since going back to work.
I just went back to work & I'm struggling. It is rough; but we will get through.
This happened to me twice in my life and each time took me a few years to fully recover. I feel close to burnout again but can't afford to. Will try to build in time away to decompress.
I had a 5 week break from uni this winter and thought it would be a good idea to catch up with family/ friends during that time. I thought it would be part of my rest. I was so wrong - now back at uni and more burnt out than I was at the end of the last semester. You are so right about needing a break from everything!
I totally relate where I see you coming from here. Thinking, ideas, communicating, sensory processing, and admin, all drain my batteries so, so much.
Walking is one way I can soothe my thinking mind. It recharges me, not always physically, but always emotionally.
I am always surprised at how much time I need for resting nowadays (I'm 28). I've just taken a year out from paid work, but having just started work again, after one long day back I feel exhausted. I think this is just part of my life. It feels so important to rest, not only to avoid burnout, but to have time to dream and connect inwardly.
You mentioned talking about how crowds affect you negatively, and how you are working to overcome that. I so appreciate your UA-cam channel, because you don’t only focus on the difficulties of ASD. You take the next step to figure out how to overcome. I don’t see that on any other UA-cam channels. Thank you for being a light with this difficult topic.
Although I had to work full time during lockdown it helped immensely, in regards to socialising...no visitors, and no place I 'felt obligated ' to go to. So I learned from that.
And I do only one outing a day, if I'm at work all day, then I do no socialising after work.
How to recharge in the house is a totally different thing.
I am actually laughing out loud, wathing this video. In Sweden we call it "igenkännandets glädje", translates into something like "the joy of recognition". The same as "it's funny 'cause it's true", I guess 🤔. I am actually in burnout right now and have to thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Good luck on your walk!
I think because I am "high functioning" and so used to masking, I did not even notice when my burnout started. I Probably early 2019. From then onwards I just regularly broke down without understanding why. I feel reluctant to call it autistic burnout since I only formally am diagnosed with ADHD, but the symptoms match so I'm happy to embrace the label. I think now I might have been mostly feeling fine for several months. But I also stopped masking all the time, so from other peoples perspective I am now worse (more inconvenient?) than ever before.
Feels like I've been fried for the majority of the last 5-8 years.
Hanging on and staying positive, having fun where I can
but drained, crippled in a way.
I feel exactly the same 😥
I've recently come to know my ADHD and Autistic self after 33 years. I've had the worst burnout last year between August to December. I find it hard to work, too much is expected of me and I get yelled at. So I've gone into running my own business, since I'm a single mom and I have to earn. Being self employed helps a lot!
At 52 my burnout is going to a new level. Mini shutdowns where I am unable to speak are becoming frequent. My memory is very bad because its so hard to keep up with the speech. In the past I would overeat or just stay awake all night having meltdowns and anxiety pseudoseizures. I take anxiety meds but sometimes they do not even touch the stress. My problem is being so good at masking I get more social responsibilies at work and outside of work people are really interested in hanging out with me. I am not even the person they think I am. Anyway, slowing down and taking breaks is a good answer. I really like this content. Great video!!
The part about you being so good at masking that people want to out with you but you're not the person they thought you are, resonates a lot with me. I feel that if most people know the stress I feel inside to camouflage into the persona they like, they'll not like me anymore, or would not understand me at all.
I sooo empathise with this. I seem to burn out every couple of weeks!!!! This video is really helpful. Thank you Paul
I'm burnt out from teaching, I'm jumping ship from this career and looking out for my mental health. Takes me 2 weeks to recover and 1 week to get back to burn out in teaching
I don't know if I'm on the spectrum or not, but much of what you describe in your videos rings true to my experience.
As for recovering from burnout... I don't think I've ever had the opportunity to fully recover. As a single dad of four, too much depends on me functioning, no matter what, so I stumble through waves of high functioning and scraping by until I can muster the high functioning some more.
Taking a couple of months off sounds lovely. If only I had that option. I'm barely holding it together, but there is no option for me to just stop. My job is the only thing that makes the battery-refilling activities possible, and the health insurance it provides is the only thing keeping me on my meds and my wife *alive*. I feel like I'm in some kind of dystopia.
Well.... I burn out a lot. And I always wonder how other people don't. My go-to is nature or gardening to let my mind and body wander around until it quiets down. Nature is soothing to me. I get outside at least once a week to stay balanced.
Just figured out - that is why I like being a student. One month off in winter and 2,5 months off in summer. 4 day study week.
The point about one thing at a time is actually a universal problem. There’s a lot of research on this about how context switching reduces executive velocity and quality and causes stress. My job is to help prevent this for the teams I manage and the industry term for this is single piece flow. Hope this helps a little, great channel which has made me aware; thank you!
I'm still in the weeds of my burnout recovery journey. I can't recall struggling with burnout much as a child, but a traumatic couple of years crashed my entire life and I feel like I haven't been "back" since. The clearest marker is dropping out of college (I was not emotionally or mentally ready because of CPTSD). Since then, I have spent many years "doing nothing" or playing video games, watching youtube etc all day every day, with short breaks of employment in between. I now have the privilege to refuse employment (it's my greatest source of burnout), but I know that won't last long and so I'm stressing over finding a way to self employ via artistic pursuits.
I'm on a slow upward trajectory, but I still don't understand how recovery works for me. Right now, I'm fixated on the idea that I need my own living space in order to truly recover. I don't believe I can recover while living with other people. I feel like a battery that cannot fully charge. I wish I knew of a better way to recover while still living with other people, because I have years of experience to prove that video games and youtube aren't enough.
But how do you make a living?
Art and nature and gardening are my outlets to having alone time and yet live with others. Maybe finding that alone time every week will help. Good luck
I really wonder if CPTSD is the culprit behind many cases of autism. I am self-diagnosed (I have one child, who was formally diagnosed in her late teens). I think I definitely suffer from CPTSD, and possibly autism, but they can look very much alike.
I lived with other people for about nine months last year and felt like I was never (mentally) going to get back on my feet until I got into my own, solitary domicile again. Thank goodness I was able to make that move. I could not control my living environment and felt like I "couldn't hear myself think."
I have a 'grownup' 9-5 job 4 days a week. In an ideal world I would chase my passion in music. But I know that I wouldn't be able to handle that lifestyle. The regularity of a 9-5 is just better for my mental health. In the artist lifestyle I know there are moments of great pleasure and fulfillment. But I also know there would be suffering, burnout and insufferable chaos 75% of the time
Setting my own schedule, working a job that doesn't demand I sell 40 hours each week, resting when I'm tired, making time for play. During the warmer months I spend a lot of time in my garden. I'm still trying to figure out something to meet that need in the dead of winter, as my small seed starting station and houseplants just don't produce the same effect.
I tend to nap, scroll, binge-watch, or binge-read (novels).
I can need to do this for a few days at times.
I'm an AuDHD-combo SAHM to 2 AuDHD-combo kids who are becoming teens and it's incredibly stressful.
I'm finding that the break during the day when they're at school isn't enough to replenish me for the after-school onslaught of emotional outbursts.
I don't sleep as well at night as I'd like, so each day I start slightly worse off than the day before.
I have only been doing research but I suspect I'm a combo as well. Also a SAHM, with four kids presenting symptoms of both, & two very demanding toddlers. Drama fits & meltdowns daily. You aren't alone. 🫂
I was actually wondering about how autistic parents can recover from burnout. I have two young kids in the spectrum as well and we homeschool. It is not as "easy" (in brackets because regardless it is not easy for anyone to take those breaks) when literally even 24h days are not long enough.
@crawfordroses thank you for commenting in solidarity. If you get yourselves formally assessed there would be support available. I'm in the process of getting all of us assessed, and then hoping for supports.
Love, hugs and luck to you!
@Kristal Viñas being AuDHD myself adds an extra layer of challenge, and also an extra layer of understanding.
Even though it's difficult when I myself reach burnout and meltdown, as a family we are muddling through OK.
We aren't homeschooling because my girls want to go to school. They often have days at home though. I've looked into doing HS, in case it ever comes to it.
Thanks for connecting 🙂
One of the hardest parts of me being an Autistic woman is the fact that the Therapists refuse to diagnose me and test me. They dodged me many times. My mom and I have known my whole life that I have high-functioning Autism, specifically Assbergers.
Funny part is that I have been trying to keep my Emotions under control and my own family keeps saying that I am trash, a terrible person, and that I am evil for just responding to their evil behaviors.
I use meditative practices for my autism. It helps with my barriers, emotions, and mental health. More importantly, I used the pop balloon methods to help recondition myself to go from self-hating to self-loving.
I still get burn-outs, but it's getting easier each time because I am learning how to not give so much energy with people who are so aggressive in general.
I'm still trying to figure out how to do this. I am recently diagnosed at 40 years old, and I'm extremely burnt out. I was married, I had a career making good money in the tech industry, I had a child, I bought a house, and then everything fell apart. It took me years to figure out why, but I was just burnt out. I didn't know how to to take breaks or how long. I took breaks that weren't very productive because I wasn't alone, or there was too much noise, or I was with family. Now I'm divorced (this is a good thing), and I have a ton of free time. But I'm also running out of money, so while I need to take a break so I can heal from decades of burnout, I don't have that luxury. I'm working on getting disability, but that will take a while. In the meantime, everyone just demands I get a job when I know I'm not ready to work again. So I'm just stuck in limbo right now. I'm stressed out about a ton of things and I rarely feel like I relax.
Similarly situation with burnout and not having luxury of being independently wealthy. Didn’t go through the divorce. Had a separation before getting married. Hopefully disability will come through soon for you so at least you can have some stability without anxiety in the background. It’s been decades long here too. Really not functioning well as need to and also people can’t understand why I’m not aggressive about getting more work as I am grossly underemployed. Getting out in nature has helped. Perhaps it can help you too. Saunas also somehow help,or simply a long shower. Meditation may help. Hope you’ll find what works for you.
As a full time stem student, president of an environmental club and doing a paid project for the college, I am finding myself really burnt out socially this quarter. I find myself not wanting to be mute when I come home and wishing I can be that way during the school days. I know I’m burnt out but feel that I can’t drop anything at the moment. Socially and mentally as an autistic person it has been really really hard this quarter.
Your process is similar to mine. I took a week off work and then had the holiday vacation time at the end of the year for 3 weeks off total. I did almost nothing, other than some cleaning around the house. I didn't even cook much! The only human interaction I had was with my spouse haha I felt much better once I returned to work in January. I think going forward, I'm going to try to pay attention to my body more and take short breaks more often so it doesn't get that bad, but I know that I have enough vacation time saved to take a lot of time if necessary.
I have been trying to recover from long-term burnout for about five years now. I often find that whatever “momentum” I have right after returning from a break is completely wiped out if I get sick. Unfortunately, it’s normal for me to fall ill for about a week right after a break (stress and immune system I guess?), and I just wish the world would stop for me to catch my breath. Instead, I get more and more behind in my work, increasingly disregulated, and feel guilt for my shortcomings. The problem is that I know exactly what I need in order to recover, but so few people understand what I experience or can appropriately meet my support needs. This crash-try to rest-repeat cycle feels endless.
Wow, I'm so curious! I'm expected to be recovered from burnout in exactly one month.. Ah man, the joys of having a deadline on this xD
Why doesn't my body listen to my deadlines?
@@autismfromtheInside lol exactly! :')
I've only known I was autistic for a few months. I've begun to suspect that I've been burned out for years. Not even sure how to deal with it yet. I feel like I'm to the point of being a hermit if I could. I've been working on taking as much downtime as possible.
Thank you for sharing this, Paul. For a couple of years i did the three day weekend and purchased additional leave so i could have a week every couple of months. I also reduced my entire social life to almost nil. It was only when i'd done all this and still melted down, almost fully dysfunctional in my day to day tasks and unable to cope with even feeding myself properly was i diagnosed as autistic. Needless to say, not fully understanding where i was at, i pushed to be able to return to work a few months later. The RTW was staggered and i'm still only doing 10hrs a week and socially about 3hrs a fortnight and its over 6 months since my therapist and doc gave me the okay to try. I've come to the conclusion early retirement is probably the best thing I can do for my life at this point. Its not been an easy decision as i support myself financially and my executive function is still very poor.
I had a burn out at work and took 4 months off until I felt ready to go back to work. Im going back next week but if I burn out again then I will just retire and call it a day . I did my best .
Good to hear the burnout reminders. Burnout is real. Burnout recovery is real
I am undiagnosed but probably on the spectrum. An interesting thing is that I have an obsession with Australia, which probably has to do with my obsession with the colour orange and how Australia's Outback has orange dirt.
I too loved the orange/ochre earth colour. I live in Aus! My trip to the outback was really memorable.
@@bombatiousbooty Please tell me more. How does that work?
@@georginashanti4605 I hope I can go there too one day.
@Bianca Best Thanks. I hope to visit the Outback and Orange some day.
So here I am again, quit another job cos I'm burned out - only took 5 months this time. However, I knew this would probably happen so have been considering what the long term "fix" is and, for me, it's creating a situation where I work on my own timescale. Having the month off, then I'm going to work part time in a self employed sales role that pays me residual commissions - will build up over time and mean I will get paid irrespective of whether I work or not. I'm convinced the answer for me is flexibility and not having to work to a timescale or within idiotic corporate restrictions. Instead just focus on one thing, work when I want.
I have been off work for close to 2 months (not intentional but it's been good) however having 5yo twin ND boys it hasn't exactly been a break. It has also been financially stressful.
People, crowds, even certain individuals :-) can be a real drain on me. It depends on the situation. I shop more in the quiet periods and visit coffee shops when they are less likely to be busy. Like others have remarked on, high functioning presents the highest likelihood that I'll get drained. I like to spend time in nature; holiday alone and seek solitude. I'm trying to see the unexpected behaviour of others differently - as opportunities to practise patience rather than triggers. Grateful for your videos.
I literally just began my journey of unmasking it seems. I stumbled upon your videos and pennies started dropping all over the place. I am from Ireland but live on the Camino de Santiago. I feel I was drawn here for peace of mind without consciously knowing why. Every one of your videos has resonated with me but this one made me sit up. I walk the Camino for exactly the reason you describe. It helps me with burnout and focus it has a very special place in my heart... and Brain. If you ever come again you are most welcome to stay with me. Thank you for all that you do 🙏
I know someone that works long hours for a year or 2 and saves every penny they can so that they can take a few months off at a time. I personally used to work full-time when I was younger and then would burn out at about the 2 year mark and not be able to work without having planned ahead, (I don't recommend that 😂). Now that I'm older I only take part-time work contracts doing jobs that I enjoy, so burning out doesn't really happen anymore for me. This took me 20 years to figure out though, so go easy on yourself, adulting is hard!
Thank you so much for your videos, as someone whom is in the process of recovering from burnout, your efforts are much appreciated!!
I was a full compensated Aspie (no diagnosis) till I got Covid and then Post-Covid and ME/CFS. Because of the symptoms (cognitiv and physical) I couldn't compensate anymore. No more masking, lots of sensory issues, to fatigued and impaired to relax with my special interests and hobbys (mostly outside, sports), frequent overloads and meltowns.
Post-Covid gave me a major autistic burnout, leading to diagnosis. I'm happy to know I am an Aspie, but I still hope PCS will go away and I will be compensated again.
I also found out about my AuDHD (autism+ADHD) after 3+ years of ME/CFS/Long Covid. Currently in a terrible burnout 🫤
For the coming uni term I am planning to not only take Friday off as far as possible, but also to visit fewer lectures so I can have more me-time during the week - I decided that fast progress in my studies is way less important than making sure to not be burnt out basically the whole time (and I actually plan to use my increased amount of me-time to learn a lot of things related to my studies that I can't learn in the offered uni courses)
Thanks for sharing! I worked so intensely that I was often exhausted, and now suffer some chronic illnesses. I decided to work part time and realized the extra off days to wind down and then to get ready for another intense (shorten) work week, that really helped me much.
I definitely experience the same as you in regards to winding down on the weekend. Saturday I feel like I can't relax - like my mind is still in work mode. Then on Sunday, although I start to wind down, by mid afternoon I'm stressed because I realise the weekend is almost over and I'm going back to work again shortly, and don't feel like I've relaxed at all!
I'm finding burnout to be a real issue for me, and in my current job, I am just exhausted all the time... I might investigate the possibility of working 4 day weeks in my next contract - even if it means working longer to days... I feel like I really need that extra day off.
Great video man, I hope you enjoyed your break... Welcome back!
So glad you're back! I hit a serious long-term burnout mid 2021. Took off the first half of 2022 , went back to work/research in the fall, and only just now in 2023 am I starting to feel somewhat capable again. My current strategy is to make Tuesdays optional, so I can 'dip my toe' into the week, then pull back and regroup for Wed-Fri as needed. That's been going well so far. Just had the first "normal" feeling full day of work - without intense fatigue - in god knows how long. Such small thing to be proud of, but it means a lot after all this time.
I really appreciate this video. I am a school teacher and the littles really take it out of me. They are wonderful. It is still so draining on my energy. I try to take at least two nights off of any commitments during the week, take my school breaks seriously, screen ALL of my phone calls, and disconnect from things for a month in the summer. It's still a constant battle.
Thank you. Appreciate your channel and your insights. I find I don't notice I've burnt out until I'm in the midst of one, and then it is a complicated journey to get myself back into some semblance of a routine.
I hear you when you say having time out and having a simple routine when on a break is so beneficial. I love the idea of doing the Camino Trail. Perfect way to keep things simple and at the same time keep moving. It's on my bucket list.
Great to see you again! I also took January off...I slept through the whole thing. I am starting to feel more energetic now. Your trip will be fantastic 😊
@Lisa Weinmeyer Super! I’d like to hibernate a month. Glad to see someone has done it!
Great to see you again.
I do a chi-gong and meditation routine in the early morning to calm down my thoughts and encrease my vital energy. I am currently recovering from burn out. Already nine months and not yet fully recovered.
I don’t have the ability to take multiple days off from work in a row, but almost every day i take a bath or shower in the dark, even if it’s brief, and let my brain do whatever it wants to do, or just focus on the sensation of water which i find very calming. For me the burnout cycle is like a wave and i have to control the amplitude. Once i’m crashing, it just needs to run itself out, and sometimes i’m just stuck and trying to mask and it’s awful, but my little frequent escape valves help me reduce the frequency and depth of burnout
In addition to trying to schedule in down time every week, I also previously used to block out the last 3 days of every month. So no regular house task routine, no appts, no friends, and as little secular work as possible done in the most relaxing way possible. Although some unavoidable tasks did creep in, I did my best to push them back out to another day. This actually was highly effective for me. However, due to the amount of planning and self-discipline it takes, I have let this method slip to the wayside. This video is motivating me to start practicing this method again. I just blocked off Feb 26-28 in my calendar. Thanks so much for this.
I’m trying to recover from burnout at the moment but it’s difficult to know how to recover. Your video offers some awesome advice. Hopefully I can work out a recovery routine that will work for me.
I did the same thing. I took off 4 weeks in Dezember and January, because I really needed (or still need) recovery. But once again I realized that just taking off isn't enough. Especially since I visited my family for a majority of that time. Since I don't need to do anything while I'm there I totally lose any strict routine I can follow. Instead I feel like I'm drowning in a swamp of consuming things and killing time. That made me realize: If I take some time off I need a plan what I should do in that time. In the bast case this plan includes exercising and yoga.
Thank you for not talking too quickly. Much appreciated.
Thanks for this, a lot of it really resonates with me.
This is so interesting and you're so inspirational. I've never thought of taking long holidays and even thought that it wouldn't be possible, but you showed us it's possible and the significance of doing so.
This video came just in time. Thank you for the channel Paul it means a lot