somedays part 2

[@BeatsbyBumps]

Some days, I just wanna leave it all behind,
Clock out from the job, escape my own mind.
These memories haunt me; they won’t let go,
People walk in and out, leaving scars I don’t show.
Grew up pacing by the door, waiting for his car,
Guess love’s conditional when the heart’s been scarred.
He said he'd show, and yeah, sometimes he did,
With gifts in his hands, but he never stayed, kid.
Then I found my friends where I thought they’d stay,
Cousins and connections, but they faded away.
I gave them my all, even when they gave none,
Love feels like a game where I’m the only one.
And now my wife, she’s got one foot out the door,
I keep asking myself, “What was I fighting for?”
Faith’s in my heart, but it feels so distant,
I’m praying for strength, but the silence is consistent.
The nights grow heavy; the shadows won’t fade,
Each thought’s like a weapon my own mind has made.
I smile for the world, but it’s wearing thin,
How do I fight battles that rage within?
Security’s the job, but I’ve seen too much,
Overdoses, threats, lives I couldn’t touch.
Stood my ground, even when the shots rang,
But some nights, I feel I’m still in that bang.
They call it survival, but it feels like a curse,
Each memory replayed just makes it worse.
The faces I couldn’t save linger in my dreams,
And I wake to silence, muffling my screams.
I got people who love me, I know that’s true,
But there’s a hole inside that nothing gets through.
I keep trying to climb, but the walls close in,
This is my fight-where should I begin?
The past has hands, gripping me tight,
It drags me down in the dead of night.
I pray for freedom, for peace, for air,
But it feels like no one is really there.
Every step forward feels like a trap,
Each victory fleeting, erased in a snap.
I wonder if hope is a rope that’s frayed,
Or just another lie to keep me swayed.
They say I’m strong, but they don’t see the cracks,
The weight on my shoulders, the knives in my back.
The mask I wear is breaking apart,
While I shield my pain, I’m losing my heart.
This is my story, my fight to endure,
A tale of wounds both jagged and pure.
I may not know where the path will lead,
But I’ll rise again, though my soul may bleed.