She's having an Emotional Affair and was seeking validation for leaving her husband due to her Toxic Masculinity beliefs. She then tried to J.A.D.E her way out of accountability and is trying to get the validation for her reasons to leave her marriage
Nah, I believe her that she isn't cheating (yet). Women are allowed to self-sabotage themaelves and their relationships without infidelity or abuse being involved 😅 But, 100%, that co-worker is egging her on.
That thought occurred to me as well, but after hearing the whole thing, I don't think that's it. • Kids in their 20s, • Diminished sexual desire • Emotional volatility Pre-Menopause, I'm calling it now. I know women shouldn't be dismissed as being "Hormonal", but there's not one rational thought in here, this is purely emotionally-based, and those emotions keep changing by the second. She checks every box. Meanwhile, he comes off as a practical guy. If she was always like this, I don't think he'd have married her, had kids with her or stuck around nearly as long as he has. This is a recent and drastic change. She wanted him to act more "Manly", so he shrugged off her concerns apathetically and happily slept on the couch in the basement. That's how "Manly" men respond to nonsense. She got exactly what she asked for, lol. I can empathize with the husband here. Her description of him fits me quite well. I'm a big guy (tall, well built, deep voice). I've never had to prove my masculinity to anyone, it's just assumed. I've never had to try to be "manly". I can't boast about how well I'd do in a hypothetical street fight, I have no idea, because nobody has even considered trying with me, lol. When you're big, hostile people leave you alone. I've never given a shit about sports (not that I have anything against it, just not my thing). As for automotive knowledge, I can change a tire, change the oil, maybe a brake job (though I'd probably be going off a UA-cam tutorial, lol). I'm not really a car guy. I'd rather just pay for AAA, lol. I know how to hunt and fish, but I really don't. I go out to the back of my property and feed my raccoon friends some treats, lol. As for cooking, I'm a good cook. All the men in my family are, including an uncle and cousin who are chefs. I don't view that as feminine at all. It's a basic skill, like knowing how to wipe your own ass, lol. Everyone should know that stuff. A man who can't feed himself should starve, it's Darwinian Law. I'm not a big drinker. I might have a drink every 6 months or so. I don't yell in any arguments, I find it moronic. The volume of my voice in no way enhances the validity of my argument. There's no logic to that and only compromises my position if I do. I don't get angry and punch walls because then I have to fix it, and sheetrock has gotten fucking expensive lately, lol. Besides, It's not like I'm angry at the wall; if I was, I'd submit to psychiatric evaluation, lol. During sex, I'm usually on the bottom. When you're well-hung or just physically large, too much depth can be an issue for a lot of women, and the girl being on top lets her control how deep it goes, so everyone has a good time. Besides, you get a better view of the boobs from that angle. Everyone wins, lol. None of this makes me feel any less manly, and if anyone else sees it as such, I just feel sorry for them. If any of these things were really an issue for OP, there's a simple fix. Flannel shirts. Every straight woman on the planet seems to have a "Lumberjack Fetish" (and judging their style of dress, probably most lesbians too, lol). She should buy her husband a flannel shirt and shut up. She may even appreciate a little swat on the ass every once in a while, some women like that. But that's not about him being more of a man, it's her needing to feel like more of a woman... and we're back to pre-menopause, lol.
@@cameron765I think she is more representative of the outdated 'ideal family' of the distant past. She wants a guy who will put her in the kitchen, be a domineering jerk, and do nothing 'girly'.
Story 2. Don't ask for advice if you're not going to listen. Grow up op, you have a good marriage, a good father for your children, and a good life. Don't blow up your life because there wasn't enough fighting, or he isn't "man" enough. Your husband doesn't need to be a raging alcoholic, with a carpenters degree for you to have a happy marriage.
Story 2: I can foresee OP's future. A couple of years post divorce. OP finds her "Dream" partner. She comes back to Reddit declaring that she has found the "Perfect Man". 6 to 8 months later she comes crying to Reddit. Seeking advice. This plea is being written from a hospital bed. She's all alone. Her kids have deserted her. Her ex hubby refuses to see or help her. Reddit will remember her, how she ignored sage advice. Some redditors will remind her how she ignored advice. Some will tell her to just go back to her "Perfect Man". He is what she wanted. What she got divorced for.
Then say that instead of saying forgiving her. Tell Op to understand who his mother is, and that his anger is that he is hurt and disappointed at how horribly he misjudged her, that he always thought better of her.
@@brutustantheiii8477Yea just completely cut her out of his life and his thoughts entirely. Those memories were of another person who doesn't exist anymore. His mother died when she started her affair
OP got a shit therapist. She just put her own feeling and life situation on OP and expected him to do the same as her. I hope somehow OP learn that you can forgive but never forget so he can just forgive his mother to move on but want nothing to do with that devil reincarnate in his life.
2nd story, OP asked for a divorce without actually saying I want a divorce. OP should have gotten therapy before talking to her husband or even at any time after her talk with him but without therapy the marriage is over.
S 1. Let your therapist know that even though we have the same experience with our parents doesn't mean we share the same experience. My advice don't forgive her because your therapist or people on reddit said to or not to. It's all about what you want to do. Ask yourself these questions. Can I get past the fact she's with the same guy she cheated with? Can I support her marrying him? Could I be a part of her family now? Can you respect her, him, sister, the guy and his kids. But most of all can you respect yourself? If yes, then you have your answer if no the same. Take your time, find a new therapist and don't rush or make any decisions.
Story #2: OP is one of those women who completely undervalues what a good man provides for her, until she experiences what it is like being in the company of a man who isn't worth anything. This honestly sounds like a midlife crisis where OP might be pawning for the days where she can be swept up into the arms of a Chad or a Tyrone and feel adventurous again. But the reality is, men like that don't provide stable home lives, which is exactly what she has.
Plot Twist, the OP and their partner are actually watching acts of Adultery, like peeking through windows to watch the neighbors cheat on their spouses. XD
Story 1 what his mom did was beyond disrespectful by bringing the AP to his dad's funeral. Of course he is not an ah by not wanting to have anything with her anymore. And about the sister he ahoud go NC also. Story 2 indont believe this woman she is clearly having an affair and is doing mental gymnastics because of it also i hopenthe husband divorces her
What OP doesn't seem to understand is that there is nothing more manly than providing for your family and being there for the people that need you. _That_ is what men do above all else.
@@ianmoritzplatapino3684 Junk like that is exactly why I often say that more often than not, mothers are the ones who teach toxic masculinity to their sons, because that is their flawed interpretation of how men are supposed to behave.
Story #1: She brought the affair partner to her husband's funeral? Why not just spit on the man's grave, it would have the same effect. OP's mother does not get to act like her children are the center of her world when she is partially to blame for the death of their father. He may have chosen to do all that drinking, but she may as well have put the bottle in his hand. Holding on to anger is one thing, but not knowing how to _process it_ in can affect how life moves forward, or not. Even though it's been a couple of years, it's pretty clear that OP is emotionally stuck in the same place and it is now affecting his ability to have a normal relationship. He doesn't need to forgive his mother, because really, there's no coming back from what she did, but he does need to learn how to not let this control his life.
Story 2: If OP is being truthful, she’s not an AH for how she feels. She is an AH for how she dealt with those feelings. Instead of seeking counseling and trying to figure out the root of her issue, she tried to make it her husband’s problem and basically told him she didn’t love him for who he was.
I'm pretty sure the correct psychological term for what OP has is called "(Grand)Daddy Issues." In that, her father - or possibly GRAND-father - is probably EXACTLY like what she's describing she was looking for from her husband. (Which raises some questions about her grand/parents' relationship, giving the "force/Dominate her" part of what she says she wants. It doesn't sound too healthy.) Oddly, maybe if she had just brought up the sex stuff & nothing else, he'd have been open to exploring being more aggressive in bed. And since, from what I remember, their kids are grown or almost grown, they could arrange a 2x/month "Do Not Disturb" day where the kids stay away - like a grandparents or a friend's house - while Mom & Dad just run a sex marathon with each other, or where she acts like her husband's slave, or they do some kind of roleplay like the capital-"B"-Boss/Secretary routine where she's taking "dick-tation" or something in that regard. Because what it sounds like is she looks at her husband as more of a Beta-male because of his house-husband tendencies. The guy's essentially a nerd in a jock's body (Like me, really.) & she feels...disappointed that he's more nerd than jock. I bet she's the kind of girl who got a train ran on her by the football team in high school - or at least wanted to REALLY badly. Also, she may have an idealized/romanticized of her grand/parents' relationship with each other, & is subconsciously comparing her current relationship with what they had (The horny freaks.) & wondering why her marriage feels so much...lesser.
S1 reminds me kinda of Hamlet. That anger of grieving a betrayed dead father never goes away it will torment OP for life, he should learn how to manage it and move forward.
Story 2:Next Update, divorced and remarried and now gets slapped around when talks back🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️ What is wrong with some women that are actually like this, OP just killed her marriage for nothing.
Story 1: NTA. Op doesn’t owe their mother a damn thing. They need a better therapist. Forgiveness should never be forced and frankly the mother doesn’t deserve it. Story 2: Op is garbage whether she likes it or not. Her beliefs are incredibly sexist. She clearly doesn’t love nor appreciate her husband. A man doing housework doesn’t make him less of a man.
Story 2: Of course we’ve had feelings we know/knew were warped. That’s why we talk(ed) about it with people we know/knew would smack us upside the head (e.g., a therapist).
Exactly! All OP needs to do is accept that his mother is a cheater who disrespected his father during his life and after his death. Once he accepts her as the person she has proven herself to be, he can then decide if she is the type of person he wants in his life and if she gets a pass for set in motion the events that lead to his father's death because she's his mother.
S2: …………………. I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even process this woman. Edit: okay, anyone else yelling “therapy” at the video while the op was whining about how the husband responded to her demands and complained how she can’t help her feelings?
Op in #2 list every thing that makes her husband a good man , what does she bring to the table. He does the cooking and cleaning and is a great father ,she is ,what just there ? So divorce him ,some woman would be glad to snap him up , go find your romance novel guy you’re looking for.
Story 2: OH!! No female friends or relatives to talk to BUT a male coworker REALLY!! Girl women are going to be knocking you out the way to get to a REAL MAN like your soon to be ex-husband.
Bringing the AP to the wake... the next time I'd see that filth would be at HER wake. Sorry, not sorry. That's just sick. She cheats on him with a younger man... pushes him to break an over decade long sobriety streak due to the shock and depression... that causes his death... Them she brings her ap to the funeral of the man she pushed to his death? Did she think about how that would traumatize her kids?
Story 2 I know at least a dozen women that would jump for a chance with op's husband and at least one guy based on nothing more then how op describes him.
Story 2: You should have gone to get professional help. Reddit is not therapy, and the worst thing one can do is tell their spouse "I love you, but you need to be a Man." Everything she says she likes are things so many Women want in their Husband. She wants a doting Husband and someone with control issues.
Story2: it seems like half of her issues is because she won't step up and do them herself she's probably happy to sit back and let him do it then just resent him for it.
Story 1: Dude needs therapy. No, he’s NTA for cutting ties with Mom and Sister, but it was incredibly jarring when he started talking about “those girls” and how the woman he likes is a “good girl.” Sounds like OP went down some Redpill rabbit hole after the whole ordeal.
I get i, but the problem with a situation like that is it gives massive trust issues (female here speaking from a similar experience with my bio mother). You can't get over it easily. It took me over 8 years to deal with mine and even now i'm hesitant to get close to anyone and i live by myself. The only people i really trest are my immediately family and my stepmother, who did a lot for my siblings and i. My bio mother's barely been in my life since she left, and honestly, it's probably best that way. Toxicity can really put a damper on a situation. But a good support group could really help OP.
story 2, the fact that OP thought that being "manly" meant being dominant and forcing in bed was so odd.. it's another thing to prefer a dominant guy, but to call dominance and force "manly" is just straight up weird.. if any of you guys are similiar to story 1 OP's husband, dont change urself and try to be some kind of douchebag for female validation
Story 2: gonna be honest here, one of my first thoughts was brain cancer. They have children together, so she must have found him sexually attractive at some point. If this is a sudden change, maybe her judgement is getting impaired by brain cancer. Gigantic stretch, I know, and also unlikely. It’s just where my mind went
Bro, forgiviness is to let the hate stop consuming you or to not pay with violence. But his mom do not diserve reconciliation because she still in the wrong. He literally drove his father to death and craped his memory. She is not a good person. How you want to stay family with someone who treat your loved one like this. How can you love someone that let feeling destroy lives. The love that you feel, the long that she made is the same thing that made the dead be no more.
Story I comment 2: this commenter must be a cheater/opposite sex sympathizer or in the mom’s position And let’s be honest he doesn’t have to rush into with any particular girl anyways. There’s other girls out there
Story 2: first of all she isnt in any position to tell any man how to be a man. Second, the way she explains makes me think she doesnt want a man but an abuser. OP doesnt even know what a healthy relationship is.
The use of "Adultery" in all these videos is really confusing, because that word doesn't mean what you seem to think it means. "Adultery" literally means intercourse between a married person and a partner that they are not married to. "Adultery" basically means "having an affair", Every time you use that word, it just makes no sense. There are other words that mean what you are trying to say, but "Adultery" is very much not it.
Story 1: just reading the thumbnail best believe they would be removed from my life entirely. Both the sister and the mother S2: she doesn’t deserve that man you know how many women would kill to have a man who does all of what he does. She’s honestly crazy just leave that man for someone else who will appreciate him then you might as well. S3: just a wtf moment in its entirety ima be honest. It’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard and women say men are insecure all the time huh? I get this isn’t a real story but come on.
S2: So... OP wants a man that treats her badly...forcing her to stay home..do everything...forcing her in bed? What will she do if he lays his hands on her?
if op did learn one lesson that it was a prenup an ironclad prenup done by Jayoma or someone as skilled as him or more so that he can make sure he does not leave a single vulnerability in a prenup
strory 2 So she wants a usless drunk that uses and abuses her and not a nice fatherly fun man that cookscand cleans. get therapy and divorce him that way he can find someone who appreciates him.
Story 1: so far the OP did nothing wrong. And while I think he should have “fun” with the baseball groupies, I understand his position but again, he shouldn’t worry about finding someone. Just enjoy the fun times, he doesn’t have to be serious with any of those California girls anyways. Especially as an athletes and a ball player. Have fun my man. You deserve it And NO he WON’T be an AH, he’ll be RP’d and will SAVE HIMSELF and honour his late father by NOT repeating his mistakes
Story 1: even though she cheated, she is not at fault for his suicide. She might be responsible for how he felt after the cheating, but she is not to blame for the act of suicide.
1st story: so not only did they have a crappy mother they also had a crappy father. Who did not care enough about his children instead of walking away from this cheating woman he decided to go and do the unthinkable. I hope the father at least had enough common sense to take and put all the property and his will and his children's name instead of leaving it in his w**** of a wife name. Which more than likely he didn't because he was too busy thinking about himself. It has got to be a sad situation to have a pathetic father and a w**** of a mother. He didn't give a care about the respect of himself that he decided to pull something like this and leave his children stuck with that type of woman. And of course the mother doesn't care because she was having an affair.
Story 1: weak man, should have told his mother she was as dead as his father to him. Dumb for making the mistake of getting married. We need an update in 10 years when he's getting divorced, and she left him for the gym bro. Story 2: she has no communication skills. She should talk to her husband to work together, to resolve her issues and make her life happier. Instead she is going to go off her delusional thinking, and will torch every life connected to her.
![[Full Story] My Boyfriend Maintained Secret Social Media Accounts To Talk To His Ex Behind My...](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/VHtNyvW5ay8/mqdefault.jpg)
Story 1 nta she really brought her AP to his funeral. The disrespect is unbelievable. Good riddance I say.
Imagine being such an AH, you turn up to the woman you're cheating with husbands wake, and you pray over his body?
What level of AH is that?
@@pippiecarr9378the level that sends you instantly to Satan
@@pippiecarr9378that so terrible that he would be an AH just tô reconcile with her. Poor dad.
Story 2: She’s cheating on her husband, and looking for any excuse she can find to end the marriage without it getting exposed. She sickens me.
She's having an Emotional Affair and was seeking validation for leaving her husband due to her Toxic Masculinity beliefs. She then tried to J.A.D.E her way out of accountability and is trying to get the validation for her reasons to leave her marriage
Nah, I believe her that she isn't cheating (yet).
Women are allowed to self-sabotage themaelves and their relationships without infidelity or abuse being involved 😅
But, 100%, that co-worker is egging her on.
That thought occurred to me as well, but after hearing the whole thing, I don't think that's it.
• Kids in their 20s,
• Diminished sexual desire
• Emotional volatility
Pre-Menopause, I'm calling it now. I know women shouldn't be dismissed as being "Hormonal", but there's not one rational thought in here, this is purely emotionally-based, and those emotions keep changing by the second. She checks every box.
Meanwhile, he comes off as a practical guy. If she was always like this, I don't think he'd have married her, had kids with her or stuck around nearly as long as he has. This is a recent and drastic change.
She wanted him to act more "Manly", so he shrugged off her concerns apathetically and happily slept on the couch in the basement. That's how "Manly" men respond to nonsense. She got exactly what she asked for, lol.
I can empathize with the husband here. Her description of him fits me quite well.
I'm a big guy (tall, well built, deep voice). I've never had to prove my masculinity to anyone, it's just assumed. I've never had to try to be "manly". I can't boast about how well I'd do in a hypothetical street fight, I have no idea, because nobody has even considered trying with me, lol. When you're big, hostile people leave you alone.
I've never given a shit about sports (not that I have anything against it, just not my thing).
As for automotive knowledge, I can change a tire, change the oil, maybe a brake job (though I'd probably be going off a UA-cam tutorial, lol). I'm not really a car guy. I'd rather just pay for AAA, lol.
I know how to hunt and fish, but I really don't. I go out to the back of my property and feed my raccoon friends some treats, lol.
As for cooking, I'm a good cook. All the men in my family are, including an uncle and cousin who are chefs. I don't view that as feminine at all. It's a basic skill, like knowing how to wipe your own ass, lol. Everyone should know that stuff. A man who can't feed himself should starve, it's Darwinian Law.
I'm not a big drinker. I might have a drink every 6 months or so.
I don't yell in any arguments, I find it moronic. The volume of my voice in no way enhances the validity of my argument. There's no logic to that and only compromises my position if I do. I don't get angry and punch walls because then I have to fix it, and sheetrock has gotten fucking expensive lately, lol. Besides, It's not like I'm angry at the wall; if I was, I'd submit to psychiatric evaluation, lol.
During sex, I'm usually on the bottom. When you're well-hung or just physically large, too much depth can be an issue for a lot of women, and the girl being on top lets her control how deep it goes, so everyone has a good time. Besides, you get a better view of the boobs from that angle. Everyone wins, lol.
None of this makes me feel any less manly, and if anyone else sees it as such, I just feel sorry for them.
If any of these things were really an issue for OP, there's a simple fix. Flannel shirts. Every straight woman on the planet seems to have a "Lumberjack Fetish" (and judging their style of dress, probably most lesbians too, lol). She should buy her husband a flannel shirt and shut up.
She may even appreciate a little swat on the ass every once in a while, some women like that. But that's not about him being more of a man, it's her needing to feel like more of a woman... and we're back to pre-menopause, lol.
@DeeBraynt2010 Excuse my ignorance in asking this, I've never seen the acronym "J.A.D.E." before, can anyone explain it?
@@DeeBraynt2010 NOTHING to do with “toxic masculinity”. ALL Toxic FEMININITY. ALL ON HER
OP 2 is literal trash. Let that man find someone who will actually appreciate him.
This is modern Day women for you
@@cameron765I think she is more representative of the outdated 'ideal family' of the distant past. She wants a guy who will put her in the kitchen, be a domineering jerk, and do nothing 'girly'.
Agreed. 100% trash
Story 2. Don't ask for advice if you're not going to listen. Grow up op, you have a good marriage, a good father for your children, and a good life. Don't blow up your life because there wasn't enough fighting, or he isn't "man" enough. Your husband doesn't need to be a raging alcoholic, with a carpenters degree for you to have a happy marriage.
💯👍🏿
Story 2: I can foresee OP's future. A couple of years post divorce. OP finds her "Dream" partner. She comes back to Reddit declaring that she has found the "Perfect Man". 6 to 8 months later she comes crying to Reddit. Seeking advice. This plea is being written from a hospital bed. She's all alone. Her kids have deserted her. Her ex hubby refuses to see or help her.
Reddit will remember her, how she ignored sage advice. Some redditors will remind her how she ignored advice. Some will tell her to just go back to her "Perfect Man". He is what she wanted. What she got divorced for.
We just found andrew tates dream girl
@@mriddley What do you mean?
@@lindah3803 she wants to be treated like shit and tate treats women like shit so she just needs to go find him
@@mriddley I see. Thank you.
Forgiving your mother doesn’t mean allowing her in your life. You’re just letting go of the anger and power she has over you, for your own sanity.
Then say that instead of saying forgiving her. Tell Op to understand who his mother is, and that his anger is that he is hurt and disappointed at how horribly he misjudged her, that he always thought better of her.
Story 1 I’d just disown her let her go assume she‘s gone. THEN he can move on
@@brutustantheiii8477Yea just completely cut her out of his life and his thoughts entirely. Those memories were of another person who doesn't exist anymore. His mother died when she started her affair
OP got a shit therapist. She just put her own feeling and life situation on OP and expected him to do the same as her. I hope somehow OP learn that you can forgive but never forget so he can just forgive his mother to move on but want nothing to do with that devil reincarnate in his life.
@@brutustantheiii8477honestly.
2nd story, OP asked for a divorce without actually saying I want a divorce. OP should have gotten therapy before talking to her husband or even at any time after her talk with him but without therapy the marriage is over.
Story 2 is actually the most cited reason for women to get a divorce nowadays “because they’re bored”
It's also rage bait abd bs
S 1. Let your therapist know that even though we have the same experience with our parents doesn't mean we share the same experience. My advice don't forgive her because your therapist or people on reddit said to or not to. It's all about what you want to do. Ask yourself these questions. Can I get past the fact she's with the same guy she cheated with? Can I support her marrying him? Could I be a part of her family now? Can you respect her, him, sister, the guy and his kids. But most of all can you respect yourself? If yes, then you have your answer if no the same. Take your time, find a new therapist and don't rush or make any decisions.
Story #2: OP is one of those women who completely undervalues what a good man provides for her, until she experiences what it is like being in the company of a man who isn't worth anything. This honestly sounds like a midlife crisis where OP might be pawning for the days where she can be swept up into the arms of a Chad or a Tyrone and feel adventurous again. But the reality is, men like that don't provide stable home lives, which is exactly what she has.
💯👍🏿
"Adultery" is not a word for porn. Just say porn ffs. Adultery is cheating, porn is porn
They use adultery instead because they're trying to avoid UA-cam's auto block on certain words
It's probably because of youtube crazy censorship.
I'm so glad someone else brought this up lol
It’s literally a category of porn though
Plot Twist, the OP and their partner are actually watching acts of Adultery, like peeking through windows to watch the neighbors cheat on their spouses. XD
Story 1 what his mom did was beyond disrespectful by bringing the AP to his dad's funeral. Of course he is not an ah by not wanting to have anything with her anymore. And about the sister he ahoud go NC also. Story 2 indont believe this woman she is clearly having an affair and is doing mental gymnastics because of it also i hopenthe husband divorces her
Story 2 women would kill for a guy like his husband
I agree with the affair theory. Or she is just bat shit crazy
What OP doesn't seem to understand is that there is nothing more manly than providing for your family and being there for the people that need you. _That_ is what men do above all else.
@@SnowyWolborg they confuse being a man's with being an ah.
@@ianmoritzplatapino3684 Junk like that is exactly why I often say that more often than not, mothers are the ones who teach toxic masculinity to their sons, because that is their flawed interpretation of how men are supposed to behave.
Story #1: She brought the affair partner to her husband's funeral? Why not just spit on the man's grave, it would have the same effect. OP's mother does not get to act like her children are the center of her world when she is partially to blame for the death of their father. He may have chosen to do all that drinking, but she may as well have put the bottle in his hand.
Holding on to anger is one thing, but not knowing how to _process it_ in can affect how life moves forward, or not. Even though it's been a couple of years, it's pretty clear that OP is emotionally stuck in the same place and it is now affecting his ability to have a normal relationship. He doesn't need to forgive his mother, because really, there's no coming back from what she did, but he does need to learn how to not let this control his life.
Story 2: If OP is being truthful, she’s not an AH for how she feels. She is an AH for how she dealt with those feelings. Instead of seeking counseling and trying to figure out the root of her issue, she tried to make it her husband’s problem and basically told him she didn’t love him for who he was.
EXACTLY!
I'm pretty sure the correct psychological term for what OP has is called "(Grand)Daddy Issues." In that, her father - or possibly GRAND-father - is probably EXACTLY like what she's describing she was looking for from her husband. (Which raises some questions about her grand/parents' relationship, giving the "force/Dominate her" part of what she says she wants. It doesn't sound too healthy.)
Oddly, maybe if she had just brought up the sex stuff & nothing else, he'd have been open to exploring being more aggressive in bed. And since, from what I remember, their kids are grown or almost grown, they could arrange a 2x/month "Do Not Disturb" day where the kids stay away - like a grandparents or a friend's house - while Mom & Dad just run a sex marathon with each other, or where she acts like her husband's slave, or they do some kind of roleplay like the capital-"B"-Boss/Secretary routine where she's taking "dick-tation" or something in that regard. Because what it sounds like is she looks at her husband as more of a Beta-male because of his house-husband tendencies. The guy's essentially a nerd in a jock's body (Like me, really.) & she feels...disappointed that he's more nerd than jock.
I bet she's the kind of girl who got a train ran on her by the football team in high school - or at least wanted to REALLY badly.
Also, she may have an idealized/romanticized of her grand/parents' relationship with each other, & is subconsciously comparing her current relationship with what they had (The horny freaks.) & wondering why her marriage feels so much...lesser.
S1 reminds me kinda of Hamlet. That anger of grieving a betrayed dead father never goes away it will torment OP for life, he should learn how to manage it and move forward.
"I love him, but" then says how much she hates him. It sounds like intentional self sabotage to make him the bad guy.
Story 2:Next Update, divorced and remarried and now gets slapped around when talks back🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
What is wrong with some women that are actually like this, OP just killed her marriage for nothing.
Story 1: NTA. Op doesn’t owe their mother a damn thing. They need a better therapist. Forgiveness should never be forced and frankly the mother doesn’t deserve it.
Story 2: Op is garbage whether she likes it or not. Her beliefs are incredibly sexist. She clearly doesn’t love nor appreciate her husband. A man doing housework doesn’t make him less of a man.
The therapist should stay out of it altogether. OP has to make that decision.
Story 2: Of course we’ve had feelings we know/knew were warped. That’s why we talk(ed) about it with people we know/knew would smack us upside the head (e.g., a therapist).
Dear Lord that 2nd story is like a train wreck
Story 1: the therapist IS WRONG
Exactly! All OP needs to do is accept that his mother is a cheater who disrespected his father during his life and after his death. Once he accepts her as the person she has proven herself to be, he can then decide if she is the type of person he wants in his life and if she gets a pass for set in motion the events that lead to his father's death because she's his mother.
2nd story op is crazy sick and that the ideal of a husband she got there
S2: …………………. I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even process this woman.
Edit: okay, anyone else yelling “therapy” at the video while the op was whining about how the husband responded to her demands and complained how she can’t help her feelings?
Op in #2 list every thing that makes her husband a good man , what does she bring to the table. He does the cooking and cleaning and is a great father ,she is ,what just there ? So divorce him ,some woman would be glad to snap him up , go find your romance novel guy you’re looking for.
Story 2: OH!! No female friends or relatives to talk to BUT a male coworker REALLY!! Girl women are going to be knocking you out the way to get to a REAL MAN like your soon to be ex-husband.
Bringing the AP to the wake... the next time I'd see that filth would be at HER wake. Sorry, not sorry. That's just sick.
She cheats on him with a younger man... pushes him to break an over decade long sobriety streak due to the shock and depression... that causes his death...
Them she brings her ap to the funeral of the man she pushed to his death? Did she think about how that would traumatize her kids?
Story 2 I know at least a dozen women that would jump for a chance with op's husband and at least one guy based on nothing more then how op describes him.
I actually commented on this one. I hope OP is doing better whatever decision they chose
Story 2: You should have gone to get professional help. Reddit is not therapy, and the worst thing one can do is tell their spouse "I love you, but you need to be a Man." Everything she says she likes are things so many Women want in their Husband. She wants a doting Husband and someone with control issues.
Story2: it seems like half of her issues is because she won't step up and do them herself she's probably happy to sit back and let him do it then just resent him for it.
As a lot of other people said before…..
Women ☕️
Exactly. She literally does shit herself and projects on her husband
Story 1: Dude needs therapy. No, he’s NTA for cutting ties with Mom and Sister, but it was incredibly jarring when he started talking about “those girls” and how the woman he likes is a “good girl.” Sounds like OP went down some Redpill rabbit hole after the whole ordeal.
I get i, but the problem with a situation like that is it gives massive trust issues (female here speaking from a similar experience with my bio mother). You can't get over it easily. It took me over 8 years to deal with mine and even now i'm hesitant to get close to anyone and i live by myself. The only people i really trest are my immediately family and my stepmother, who did a lot for my siblings and i. My bio mother's barely been in my life since she left, and honestly, it's probably best that way. Toxicity can really put a damper on a situation. But a good support group could really help OP.
Yeah, he can’t punish every other woman on earth just because his mom did a horrible thing
Yeah no thanks to feminism
@@alphazero022 Feminism has absolutely nothing to do with this.
It’s understandable, given how the women in his life showed a lack of conscience, but still not healthy for him.
OP would benefit from therapy.
Even if she does not agree with it, or even believe in its existence, the point remains valid that co-worker is trying to get some.
Story 1, the therapist is sublimating her life experience in pushing the guy into reconciling with the mom… that’s waaaaaay off base…
story 2, the fact that OP thought that being "manly" meant being dominant and forcing in bed was so odd.. it's another thing to prefer a dominant guy, but to call dominance and force "manly" is just straight up weird.. if any of you guys are similiar to story 1 OP's husband, dont change urself and try to be some kind of douchebag for female validation
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S1, you need a new therapist, she has no business putting her personal shit into your therapy
Story 2: gonna be honest here, one of my first thoughts was brain cancer. They have children together, so she must have found him sexually attractive at some point. If this is a sudden change, maybe her judgement is getting impaired by brain cancer. Gigantic stretch, I know, and also unlikely. It’s just where my mind went
Story 2. She is for the streets 😂😂😂😂😂😂. She is going to come back in a few years crying that she needs her husband back. 🤦♀️
So she ignored ALL the advice to get therapy and instead decided to obliterate her marriage? Makes sense.
Story 2 women can build things but a great guy like that is rare! She should count her blessings
No, don't forgive your cheating mother. Look and see if there are any nursing homes that take in cheaters.
So story 2 she truly wanted the redpill alpha as a husband they pretty extreme but i have to say she settled
Bro, forgiviness is to let the hate stop consuming you or to not pay with violence. But his mom do not diserve reconciliation because she still in the wrong. He literally drove his father to death and craped his memory. She is not a good person. How you want to stay family with someone who treat your loved one like this. How can you love someone that let feeling destroy lives. The love that you feel, the long that she made is the same thing that made the dead be no more.
Op 2 has mental issues
Soon as he said blake blossom, I call bs that the gf looks like her lmao
"Nothing weird is going on." Yet.🙄
Story2: yeah her husband needs to divorce her and kick her out the house because if she isn't cheating she will be soon
Wow op from the 2nd story is so ungrateful.
Hope the husband in the future finds someone that treasure him,since op is toxic.
Story 2 bro she literally has the Patron Saint of Being a Perfect Spouse as a husband and still dont think hes 'manly enough'???
Story 1: Forgive your mother but do not allow her back in your life!
Story I comment 2: this commenter must be a cheater/opposite sex sympathizer or in the mom’s position
And let’s be honest he doesn’t have to rush into with any particular girl anyways. There’s other girls out there
Story 1: having such a traumatic backstory doesn’t excuse being an ah to every woman around you. He needs therapy asap.
Story 2 a lot of women dream about a guy like that.
Story 2: first of all she isnt in any position to tell any man how to be a man. Second, the way she explains makes me think she doesnt want a man but an abuser. OP doesnt even know what a healthy relationship is.
S1 OP needs a prenup therapy and go Passport bro.
Elly is definitely going to cheat on him
The lawyer father didn’t have a will? I highly doubt that.
Stranger things have happened.
The use of "Adultery" in all these videos is really confusing, because that word doesn't mean what you seem to think it means. "Adultery" literally means intercourse between a married person and a partner that they are not married to. "Adultery" basically means "having an affair", Every time you use that word, it just makes no sense. There are other words that mean what you are trying to say, but "Adultery" is very much not it.
Agreed I was a bit taken of by the use of the term
Story 1: just reading the thumbnail best believe they would be removed from my life entirely. Both the sister and the mother
S2: she doesn’t deserve that man you know how many women would kill to have a man who does all of what he does. She’s honestly crazy just leave that man for someone else who will appreciate him then you might as well.
S3: just a wtf moment in its entirety ima be honest. It’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard and women say men are insecure all the time huh? I get this isn’t a real story but come on.
Story 1: The mother caused the death of OPs father!
Boy, just from the title of story 2:
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Story 2 she has a partner anyone would’ve loved he doesn’t drink he’s not into what she considers manly oh my god what kind of a man does she want?
Story 1 you need a new therapist, one that's actually good and professional
Story 2: YATA big time! You are acting shocked that he is being distant with you when you said that he is not manly!
S2: So... OP wants a man that treats her badly...forcing her to stay home..do everything...forcing her in bed? What will she do if he lays his hands on her?
Dude id want ops husband holy hell he sounds amazing
if op did learn one lesson that it was a prenup an ironclad prenup done by Jayoma or someone as skilled as him or more so that he can make sure he does not leave a single vulnerability in a prenup
strory 2 So she wants a usless drunk that uses and abuses her and not a nice fatherly fun man that cookscand cleans. get therapy and divorce him that way he can find someone who appreciates him.
Story 1: so far the OP did nothing wrong. And while I think he should have “fun” with the baseball groupies, I understand his position but again, he shouldn’t worry about finding someone. Just enjoy the fun times, he doesn’t have to be serious with any of those California girls anyways. Especially as an athletes and a ball player. Have fun my man. You deserve it
And NO he WON’T be an AH, he’ll be RP’d and will SAVE HIMSELF and honour his late father by NOT repeating his mistakes
Story 1 what a crappy person, story 2 the be a man mentality is disgustingly toxic.
A % of his astate goes to the children
Story 1: even though she cheated, she is not at fault for his suicide. She might be responsible for how he felt after the cheating, but she is not to blame for the act of suicide.
Who said suicide? Did I miss it?
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I feel so sorry for all the men In these stories. Listen up fellows being Nice Guy get you nowhere.
Lol incel thinking right there
@@jackmaxpower That's funny. I'd rather be an incel than a simp that gets took advantage of by women. Like you.
Yta
So he doesn't mistreat you. Talk to him
First like ❤
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1st story: so not only did they have a crappy mother they also had a crappy father.
Who did not care enough about his children instead of walking away from this cheating woman he decided to go and do the unthinkable.
I hope the father at least had enough common sense to take and put all the property and his will and his children's name instead of leaving it in his w**** of a wife name. Which more than likely he didn't because he was too busy thinking about himself.
It has got to be a sad situation to have a pathetic father and a w**** of a mother. He didn't give a care about the respect of himself that he decided to pull something like this and leave his children stuck with that type of woman. And of course the mother doesn't care because she was having an affair.
Story 1: weak man, should have told his mother she was as dead as his father to him. Dumb for making the mistake of getting married. We need an update in 10 years when he's getting divorced, and she left him for the gym bro.
Story 2: she has no communication skills. She should talk to her husband to work together, to resolve her issues and make her life happier. Instead she is going to go off her delusional thinking, and will torch every life connected to her.
Story 1: lol
Day 211 of commenting to help secretvoices