The Speed Of Poop

[@PDBisht]

He really knows his *shit.*

[@BottleOfSand]

💀

[@imnoweren]

good one

[@stupiditiusmaximus]

​​@@BottleOfSandthat's not poo, thats one of the kids in my basement.

[@rnslim2681]

Not only his

[@Lillylafrog]

That's hilarious omg

[@user-fb8kz3el7d]

BRO OUT OF ALL THE UA-cam SHORTS THIS IS THE ONE I GET BEFORE DINNER

[@NcessNasya]

You deserve it. 😂😂😂

[@EvilPaladin11]

What did you eat for dinner, and was it something that made you blast poop out at a faster than average rate?

[@user-hl5br4bg9t]

I swear Vsauce answers alot of my unasked questions.

[@WideOldDan]

Unasked questions?

[@danbom121]

You mean unasked right?

[@danbom121]

You mean unasked right?

[@user-hl5br4bg9t]

@@WideOldDan thank you sir

[@user-hl5br4bg9t]

Yes I mean unasked

[@jc47]

Vsauce understands the harmony of the universe is poop.

[@youssefmaged8368]

500 likes and no comments ? Lemme fix that (sorry i usually dont do this but 500 likes is a lot)

[@rupom_1670]

​@@youssefmaged8368 what

[@kittyt.s.p]

The universal languages of poop

[@youssefmaged8368]

@@rupom_1670 what what ?

[@filip9587]

In the same way evolution loves crab. 🦀

[@azisoz]

Vsauce has now removed all forms of discrimination with poop

[@KLTTLO]

540 likes but no replies? imma fix it

[@TymaDem]

All happy and equal after pooping

[@Max_Scp173]

♪♪♪

[@windowsxpmemesandstufflol]

Typical Vsauce

[@xyonpeculiar4301]

#AllPoopMatters

[@tommyinckemann2273]

Bro traveling at shitspeed💀💀💀

[@Wolfie0936]

"And I think that's beautiful"

[@mr.spinoza]

Vsauce just made us perceive life as sentient poop.

[@Lestyrin]

real

[@sethfranco4134]

I was already doing that

[@MattLourence]

He's so powerful that he can turn us into sentient poop.

[@IlyaTheGuy]

1000th like yaaaay

[@masterimbecile]

Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo

[@icemanz2795]

I love it when Vsauce tells us facts that I can’t reasonably share with anyone

[@goldenfox2942]

Damn i wish i saw this coment befor hand

[@cuboembaralhado8294]

I'll find a way to share this

[@truemanlyusopp1099]

​@@cuboembaralhado8294let us know how it goes!

[@cuboembaralhado8294]

@@truemanlyusopp1099 just did it, hell yes

[@shawnwinkler9153]

Speak for yourself. I'm going to share this with everyone. Their loss if they can't see the layers of connectedness in it.

[@Bloodshed_Silence]

Vsauce at an ungodly hour in the morning, educating me on poop. 10/10

[@Flpibooks]

that "yeah" was personal💀

[@mistrsportak9940]

Michael then: the speed of dark
Michael now: the speed of poop

[@ThBlueSalamander]

Lmao yeah after that fateful day in the isolation room

[@customauto7468]

We miss the real Michael

[@user-xq1tr9nw5t]

He's still good as always he just changed his content a lil cuz gen z humor

[@boofy1347]

Ok but what about the speed of ""jarate""?

[@anuvardhank.n3337]

You don't remember "21 seconds to pee"?

[@revizor2228]

He's officialy insane

[@SgrEnma]

Oh, you're late, he has been crazy for the last 10 years

[@MrH.09]

@@SgrEnmafr

[@Dat_Thing88]

Yep

[@JonnyCrackers]

That's why I like him

[@yazginw]

He's insanely official

[@BlueToad388]

“And I think that’s beautiful”

[@ext1nction894]

12 is one of the holy numbers, HOLY SHIT!

[@S_lothii]

actual holy shit 💀

[@ext1nction894]

@@S_lothii that was the joke 👏

[@ashernoreen]

Lmao

[@Tom_Corvus5]

*unholy crap

[@MrFredstt]

Poop is divine confirmed

[@The_Duck01]

T H E P O O C O N S T A N T

[@ashtonhillman4184]

Was looking for this comment

[@RuralTowner]

You mean the POO-STANT

lit

[@prajjwalmalviya]

It is denoted by Po (P naught). Its value is 12 secs. Its SI unit is second and its dimension is [T].

[@Dumbtighty]

Yeah ​@@RuralTowner

[@PurpleMan21]

I dont think even an insane asylum could keep vsauce in.

[@blakecunningham9926]

He'd probably enjoy being there 😂

[@PurpleMan21]

@@blakecunningham9926 I wouldn't doubt it lol

[@Bro-What...]

He would ascend

[@DesolateMood]

"Hey Vsause, Michael here!
Run 🙂"

[@Hibbit]

Hey vsauce Michael here, your asylum is very secure….
Or is it?

[@NightRiderTY]

Yo this video popped up right when I opened the bathroom door to go poop, is he watching us??? 💀💀😭😭😭💀💀😭💀

[@localcaliforniaman101]

Knowing VSauce, who's to say he isn't?

[@md-io4tb]

You got some misspelling here. The video pooped up.

[@user-wn5um2tk1r]

Bro Vsauce can make a video about anything

[@utkarshninawe97]

He made us feel like shit

[@-Mystique-101]

😂fr😂

[@strrawberrii4196]

Light?

[@Mightype]

Indeed

[@weird_pebble]

Literally-

[@Ravvox]

@@strrawberrii4196 No Kira

[@mateuszz4011]

Me: its time to sleep
Vsauce:

[@Mr89netrom]

Me exatcly

[@midloran]

Literally me right now

[@n0sensegaming82]

It's night lol

[@Mightype]

Yes

[@quanket]

Bro just stopped me from going to sleep cause now i gotta think about poop

[@chicken]

Vsauce always keeps us entertained with his unique perspective on poop.

[@NormalMaximo]

chatgpt comment

[@EduardoFerreira-yi4qc]

you always keep us off from the getting the top comment, despite how original we are you still wreck us with something simple as just an "a"

[@aoifedeborha2420]

Bro how are you legit everywhere are you even a human at this point?! 😭🥲😅

[@beaeste_i6767]

Sometimes I ask myself why on earth am
I watching an average Vsauce video. The I continue searching his latest updates.

[@stubbisloth5556]

Only Vsauce can unite us with poop

[@hassans9519]

1k likes and no comments

[@vrtexxradiation]

Amen.

[@kbn76]

He literally united old Vsauce videos memory with poop 😢

[@emperorborgpalpatine]

We are also connected by our buttholes when we sit on a toilet.

[@osengod3]

Vsauce is the only man who can use "poop" and "beautiful" in the same sentence and have it make sense

[@Bruh_idk69lul]

Pootiful

[@Nila334-NO-MORE-GAYS]

Trump 2024

[@sewerbeeferino]

Donald Trump brethren

[@Wanoman_memes]

Bro why am I seeing you everywhere

[@ieatcowsfr]

"poop is not beautiful" there i did it

[@dn3gming338]

Not me taking a shot as I scrolled into this

[@Shadow_GlitchyEdits]

Vsauce is the only person that can make me interested in poop facts 💀💀

[@oTozmo]

Vsauce tells you stuff that you pretend you don’t care about, but secretly your just like: Oh cool

[@soupisfornoobs4081]

I'm sorry you live your life that way, I hope you can grow to not pretend you don't care about the Hydrodynamics of Defecation

[@oTozmo]

One day

[@Operation6bruh]

@@oTozmo49 seconds ago😂

[@I-n-f-i-n-i-t-e_S-p-a-c-e]

​@@Operation6bruh4 min ago 😂

[@RyanSoltani]

Yea

[@G0T_H1GHT]

“Poop moves at around 2cm a second”
*The Taco Bell exploding out of my ass moving at Mach 5”*

[@emiteman1233]

This is the most underrated comment...most underrated comment 😂😂😂😂

[@Sidewalk.Enforcer]

I can't relate but, it was funny to me 😂

[@romips9839]

Taco bell are like afterburner

[@ommsterlitz1805]

americans really should just be banned to take airplanes until they have edible food, many times americans have been destroying airplanes toilets or even leaking everywhere because of there tormented bowels

[@Catcheee]

I was searching for this comment lmao

[@DoinYourM0m]

He just called me a piece of shit in the most creative way possible 😂

[@user-rc8vy6fg9f]

Discriminated by borders..... United by poop.
Thanks Vsauce!!😅

[@sassafrassanid5718]

12 seconds? He’s clearly never seen me poop... or has he?

[@abdulrahmanadem3802]

*VSauce music plays*

[@Glog108]

I have

[@John117-oo2qb]

For a healthy person

[@GamingCubed]

I was 69 lik

[@realcarguyrighthere]

me with 10 minutes

[@dawolfboi]

Only Vsauce could call poop beautiful and still sound normal 💀
Edit: 2k likes 😎

[@feierlord]

tf you mean normal!?

[@monchu_]

​@@feierlordaverage vsauce sentence

[@feierlord]

Vsauce says some crazy crap, but this might flush the dump.@@monchu_

[@grass_6679]

​@@feierlordtalk about a pun.

[@gobbleygobbleygoo]

I’m the thousandths like

[@Phil_Editz]

Caseoh laughing at the corner 💀🙏

[@devinerussellnewman-tr9ku]

“I think that’s beautiful” 🤣🤣

[@Blocky_Boi267]

"How fast is that person running?"
" *20 poops per hour* " 💀💀💀

[@cubefacey01]

speed of (human) poop = 0.04 mph
That guys running at the speed of 200 people taking a 💩 😂😊

[@Neko1829]

Doesn't that mean the dude is running 0.8 mph? I think the runner is actually a turtle.

[@Greyistt]

im pretty sure 0.04x200 is 8 and not 0.8@@Neko1829

[@marcusmelander8055]

A poop would be a measure of velocity though, so it'd just be 20 poops. Poops per hour would be a measure of acceleration.

[@skyesfallenxx]

Americans will use anything but the metric system 💀

[@theelephantintheroom69]

Michael: Human poop leaves our bodies at 2cm per second on average.
Taco Bell: "On average."

[@Taolan8472]

MREs: "If at all."

[@ampman76]

What's the speed of hot liquid feces ejecting from the anal sphincter powered by cramping abdominals?

[@Cecil...]

IBS: *evil laughter*

[@crasscastle6115]

Was looking for this comment

[@Ibadullah]

Constipation victims: it comes out?

[@ratthrat2568]

This is the best Saw movie I've ever seen.

[@aktuellyattee8265]

That sounds like deep advice,
"The largest creatures shit the fastest"

[@lalala13131315]

If y'all think Michael is weird - somebody actually measured the speed of poop. Think about that.

[@Zeoytaccount]

Was it… was it Michael tho…?

[@wallyhackenslacker]

Imagine being an editor for a scientific journal and you're tasked with organizing the double-blind review of a paper on measurements of the speed of poop on several animal species

[@schnoz2372]

@@wallyhackenslackeri would doo my doody diligently

[@maryolguin4372]

@@wallyhackenslacker double-blind study b/c you can’t see your rear end and you can’t see the researchers’ camera camouflaged in a bush right next your poop spot 😝

[@TymaDem]

#forscience

[@Moe519]

Nobody:
The history channel at 3am:

[@cryinqr]

underrated comment 😭

[@l.x.f.e]

U mean discovery?

[@KiaraDiabllo]

FRRRRR

[@QtarosNormalTrip]

​@@l.x.f.epretty sure napoleon used this for one of his battles

[@l.x.f.e]

@@QtarosNormalTrip nah why tf would he use the speed of shit

[@MrFredstt]

When you're on a date or meeting a new person just remember you can always strike a connection with the speed of your poop

[@OmegaAndAlphaVergil]

"oh hey vsauce, Michael here, you home security is great!...... Or is it?"

[@kalAnkitt]

Vsauce should prolly write a book titled "small talk materials at first dates 101"

[@noahmcloughlin7455]

Yeah good luck using this one on a date 😂

[@EEEEEEEE]

‎‎‎‎‎‎‎E‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎

[@HemlockXx.]

Yesss😂

[@erkankaorijinal4230]

%99 work but not %100

[@abdulrahmankhalil115]

Alternative title: How to never get laid

[@oktabramantio4709]

"The bigger the animal, the longer its poop"
Goldfish are laughing with their 6-times-its-body-length poop

[@jckoibra2662]

Do goldfish even poop I thought they just make the water dirty like very very small particles

[@GREENHOUSE_LIGHTSHOW]

⁠​⁠@@jckoibra2662I’ve had many goldfish over the course of my life and I can confirm, they do indeed poop.

[@evilyeucc]

@@GREENHOUSE_LIGHTSHOW
Do they poop in string

[@pupspiraten8360]

The longer the pooping duration, not the length of poop.

[@DarthGTB]

It's also land animals he's talking about

[@stickdav6484]

the unknown galactically large entity shitting out bullets rn

[@Enigma_toons]

This guy is soooo
I don’t even know the word to describe it

[@tr4c3ily51]

Imagine being tied up in some basement and then he comes over and starts explaining poop to you. I would legitimately scream for help

[@robertolanzone]

I like how this implies you may not scream for help after being tied up in some basement unless a poop explanation ensues

[@Cwrldgaming]

@@robertolanzonelol

[@RohitKumar-ql2oo]

Vsauce woud probably do experiments on the person in his basement 💀💀

[@larry5068]

bro if im tied up in Michaels basement and he starts explaining wild shit to me im just fukin enjoying my stay, ill even pay him for his service

[@irok1]

As he approaches you in a dark room at 2 cm/s

[@Syn_ttax]

*Vsauce just called us shit in the kindest way possible.*

[@allanregista4422]

Lol.. more like the most scientific way ever 😂😂😂

[@jfi_]

And himself anus

[@akashdash2009]

Yes but finally we will be on his face...😂

[@marvolovesgod385]

Jesus Christ loves you and died for your sins 🤎🤍

[@user-ig2px9dn3v]

We are what we eat after all 🥴

[@Worst_UTuber_Ever]

"Yeah!" Has got me balling

[@enekaitzteixeira7010]

Poop travels faster than light.

[@AxoltolGang]

Old Vsauce: Speed of dark
New Vsauce: Speed of poop

[@professionalrobloxplayer]

stolen

[@RohitKumar-ql2oo]

people liking his comment are thieves themselves

[@ExtremeSpeedMewtwo]

Nah trust me vsauce has always had a liking for poop as a topic. Just check out his mario farts video and you'll know it's always been him this whole time

[@Maiqthelair0]

I got 2 shit video's in a row

[@Matt_the_W]

I sometimes worry about Michael’s mental stability

[@juneaoalfred3704]

looks like it is but it's not..
Ain't nobody thinks like him..
The idea tho.. can't you see it..
How to attract viewers, comments and like?

[@Dinosaur12349]

He was never the same after the isolation room

[@murtazahasan4018]

I always worry about Michael's mental stability.

[@DoodleDan]

I don't

[@Matt_the_W]

@@DoodleDan good for you :)

[@Osoros666]

of course, this short gets recommended while im on the porcelain throne

[@AndiS204Audios]

I was having a painful stomachache and before I Vsauce’d I thought of this video

[@MohanSingh-zj9qy]

Good to see Michael literally making us feel like shit.

[@szymonsadlo]

this comment is so underrated 😂

[@B0baFett]

Best comment here no hesitation 😂😂😂

[@stolensentience]

Noice

[@lehansh2570]

😂😂😂😂 epic

[@sagniksahu7783]

369 likes!?! Lemme fix that

[@Yuujin18]

Watching this on a toilet hits different 💀

[@rustanlorenz]

☠

[@laughinglaufey4704]

Roses are red
My feaces is blue
Skibidi is me skibidi them
Skibidi is you 🤓🤓🤓

[@matheusflores619]

I feel violated😂

[@cloudcutter_dy2]

@@laughinglaufey4704it is not funny anymore. Get higher grades in school, baby.

[@ninjastar4076]

Haha😐

[@turtledude01]

Watching this while on the toilet is hilarious

[@samuelmeza179]

Vsauce: Talking about shit
Me: Shitting rn

[@glitch3878]

Michael is the most comforting and disturbing presence

[@cu35468]

Science should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.

[@atilla4372]

And I love him for that 😂

[@LowHB]

"Because of this magic, we're sending 300 types of poops in our next CuriosityBox, one of which, IS MY OWN!"
-Michael VSauce probably

[@morsmordre3]

Severely underrated ^

[@victorrealm7698]

Someone is gonna order 300 boxes.
Or someone on youtube is gonna eat it for clout.

[@Raevn_YT]

​@@victorrealm7698 🤤😋

[@joepompei2705]

@@victorrealm7698 scrumdiddlyumptious 😳😳

[@clairfayne]

…bagged as "V Sauce poop here"

[@aaronramsden1657]

Ngl, pooping is one of the few free pleasures in life

[@Kumergence]

"YEAH!😏"
-VSauce

[@dotanim8s]

most normal vsauce video:

[@CR7Update]

Average vsauce short

[@yerpy-nya-furry]

very normal and average

[@skullwalking]

so normal

[@Mightype]

Normal

[@Cookiekoala7138]

Nomlar

[@electric_pheonix2449]

Ants when they realise their poop moves 0.0000000000000001cm per second 👀👀👀

[@Gametion_Beast]

Snails🗿

[@-le4qh]

EeErm AcTuaLy, aNTs doN'T PooP 👆 🤓

[@shubhlaabh6342]

I don't know how you calculated this but even this make sense because ants themselves are less than a centimeter

[@CLOYO]

​@@shubhlaabh6342It doesn't cause they don't shit

[@papermangd]

@@shubhlaabh6342that can still make sense, if a car moves at 60km per hour does it have to be at least 60km long

[@SpicyCarrot-gt2ud]

"It's takes us each the same amount of time to fully evacuate a glob of poo
I think that's beautiful"
"Come here
Yeeaahhhh"

[@4ashtray319]

“But here’s where it gets weird”😂

[@JarvinTheJar]

Michael unironically calling me an animal makes me feel human again.

[@YuMz69]

Humans are animals

[@JarvinTheJar]

@@YuMz69 Hello fellow animal.

[@deomodderr]

We are all animals

[@YuMz69]

@@JarvinTheJar bonjour

[@truthseeker7815]

Embrace your wild identity

[@PeanutsIsYum]

Dinosaurs be using their shit as bullets 💀

[@BuzzterPlayzz]

*you made me cry 😂😂😂*

[@user-ke7ki6mx2z]

Blue whales shooting it at a fighter jet

[@popcorn8243]

Godzilla 😳

[@julianparsons3027]

More like kinetic bombardment…

[@johnjackson3630]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Osiris_Drake]

This is the kind of “Riddler psyching out the Arkham Asylum guards” energy that I crave

[@Vinnykangara93737]

Finally poop lore

[@yesstude]

Michael perfectly understands the sense of Shorts' existence

[@patryksalwa3674]

Or is it

[@manohousing5237]

​@@patryksalwa3674*or does he

[@ankle_toes]

true

[@NA-ch8xj]

He just gets it

[@Ssek16]

When I watch Vsauce, I feel like Vsauce watches me.

[@honey-po9ij]

this is the best way to put it

[@b_2the_boy551]

Your not the only one bud

[@Crysal]

It takes me around 0.3 seconds after my morning caffeine hit

[@michaelkevin7372]

I didn’t need to see this while having breakfast…

[@galaxywolf2153]

So kids, that's why you always delete your search history.

[@lessrblx4173]

not search history if you havent searched it

[@ProjectEurobeat]

​@@lessrblx4173 Watch history then

[@JmKrokY]

💀

[@Patches_Idk]

i feel like vsauce is slowly losing his mind.

[@itsiwhatitsi]

Slowly at the speed of poop 😂

[@bunchaducksinatux]

Slowly? It’s long gone by now

[@jonh101]

​​@@bunchaducksinatux its been gone since he started this channel

[@rakusko33]

How long have you known him?

[@bas_ee]

He has a video online where he watches a pot of water for 1 hour long until it boils

[@kayden-qi3tc]

Saw this video while im taking a shit 💀

[@isendrak]

The you is not alone. Sidenote: 2cm/s? Naah, not me. At least not with my liquid shit ability activated. 😅

[@sly_6]

" how fast is your wifi?" him: "elephant poop".

[@mr.lester4642]

Watching this on the toilet is....an *experience*.

[@yerpy-nya-furry]

keep it in mind

[@bildemerath]

Experienced and agreed

[@rupom_1670]

Skivido skibido skibiso skibidi 🚽🚽🚽

[@mq-r3apz291]

Imma intensify this by eating taco bell
Update: the speed of taco bell waste is an entire meter a second

[@sparklytearz]

@@rupom_1670Oldest skibidi toilet fan:

[@chickencancanyt8804]

Fuck the speed of light, we got the speed of poop, lightyears? Nah we got poopyears.

[@ARandomScratchCreator]

Poopyears 💀

[@cholocatejon8696]

Poopy ears

[@StrawberryTurnipGerkinApple022]

This feels like an analog horror episode

[@Catmalon]

Never gonna scroll shorts while eating ever again

[@melwasnevergivenaname]

Watching from the toilet while pushing is truly a full circle moment

[@EpicCartofan]

Same😭

[@doitwithnick501]

He took a new experience to a whole new level 😂

[@fabian2062]

One way to make food go full circle is... Oh no

[@bonnieprincecharlie774]

yeah cause that circle about to be full

[@PG_Biggins]

Gang💩🚽💪

[@lolatiku]

Constipation has left the chat

[@sandeepmuni8977]

at the speed of 2cm/s

[@brixenlang3207]

Diarrhea has left the chat

[@Dream23202]

​@@sandeepmuni8977it's 0.5cm/s or less 💀

[@randomsupersaiyan7990]

Thank god it left it was bugging me for dude

[@Gogetabluenotfutile]

​@@brixenlang3207Speed of diarrhea= mass × speed of light²

[@bdgboa7547]

We’re all connected through our shit Michael? Yes, yes we are.

[@user-mi9dk9lo8u]

the "Yeah" got me

[@W3lfAQ]

I don't need Wikipedia
I need Vsauce

[@morcovel99]

I need both

[@purplesanta631]

I will pay for everyone's therapy
UPDATE: After showing the video to the therapist, they needed therapy

[@danitatimmons9619]

No need

[@novadestry]

No thanks, I'll take the money though

[@M.Khan-14]

Thanks man. Ur a true hero.

[@AlejandroChristlieb]

Needed

[@krihs7983]

mid comment

[@ryanaleman7916]

Imagine having breakfast rn 😭😭

[@Shadowstorm000]

Me with diarrhea: Hmph amateur

[@RohitKumar-ql2oo]

No matter how weird his video is, we always learn something new.

[@DoNotTrustAnATOM]

Fr I love his vids ❤😊

[@shawntmp]

"A glob of poo, and I think that's beautiful" Vsauce 2023

[@durellnelson2641]

Least unhinged Vsauce quote

[@Jax_brix]

lol

[@the-strongest-one_gojo]

Vsauce, im eating right now.

[@mib8994]

Someone scrolling on their phone: “I feel like shit”
Michael:

[@ballsex111]

if the average is 12 then i’m above average

[@yerpy-nya-furry]

whtr you 4? thats quite fast

[@pedrosso0]

​@@yerpy-nya-furry4 is below 12 not above 12

[@yerpy-nya-furry]

@@pedrosso0 im gonna kms

[@Catcheee]

Don't@@yerpy-nya-furry :(

[@Storedband054]

​@@yerpy-nya-furrydo

[@dclaiche]

This was a very covert way for Vsauce to call everyone who watched this video a piece of sh*t.

[@bitterroots7317]

He wouldn't. That would be completely false, we are however shit bags supported internally by a skeletal system.

[@madmax82988]

You can say shit

[@Ghost.12371]

So why you comet

[@ortherner]

@@bitterroots7317lmao

[@StrawHatChad]

How, exactly?

[@BeardFamGaming]

It moves so slow yet, its so hard to stop😂

[@Mrwolfgang0072]

You’re making me scared of everything now even my own shit😂😂

[@chuckgaydos5387]

Note to self: Don't watch Vsauce videos while eating.

[@anugruheethangelomathew2923]

Let this be a reminder to all 😂

[@Mizukitz]

Literally same 😂

[@B3RSERKED]

i just finished eating phew

[@ryblinkaway]

I was eating when I watched it, it didn't bother a bit hahaha

[@Agent-iq3sz]

Note to self: don’t watch Vsauce videos on an empty stomach 😋