My Illness Caused An ED Relapse | Why I Might Look Different
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- Опубліковано 4 січ 2024
- Being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder has turned my body into its own worst enemy. Literally. It produces its own specialized antibodies to attack itself. Losing control to that degree has caused me to try and take control of it back. Exercise, foods and supplements to stop inflammation, promote gut health, give my body what it loses by ways of attacks and flares and cutting out documented aggressors. This requires one to be regimented and to sacrifice - I can't tell you how many times I pretended to not be hungry when out to dinner with friends because the place wasn't gluten free friendly (gluten is sadly the enemy of Hashimoto's). I'd rather eat something later on at home than to make my friends feel uncomfortable and not eat somewhere they like. Being gluten free sucks for me, I don't know how people do this willingly without medical need. Turns out, gluten is in everything. Did I mention how much I miss real NY pizza, K-Dogs, Bagels, Ramen? I somehow managed to turn all of the regimented diet and not having control over some of my symptoms into some control ya body fest and triggered the ED I had 20 years ago.
Song: Aldous Ichnite - Prima Materia
Having a chronic illness is much harder than people realize. Thank you for speaking out. I'm sending all the love to you, hope you're feeling better. 💜🖤
It's the truth! Thank you so much for the kind words and well wishes 🖤
@@angelabenedict I am sorry about your relapse. I hope you get better.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm only one person but your content got me through my teenage years and I truly believe that I would've ended up in a much worse place in life without the goth community. I'm 23 now and your content is still just as wonderful as it was back when I was in high school. Just as you've gotten me through my rough patches, know that your community is also here to support you through yours. Please be gentle with yourself and know that you are so loved and appreciated.
You're very welcome, Karina! It warms my heart to hear that I've been able to help you throughout the years. The goth community can really become your family and a sense of structure and stability. I'm glad that it's been that for you. Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. 🖤🖤🖤
I am sorry you are going through a hard time right now.. you are beautiful and such a lovely person. I have issues with an ED as well and I realized that it is all about control and when things get rough in life I restrict foods. Please take care of yourself much love, hugs and positive energy to you.
It's always about that damn control. Thank you so much for the kind words, I'm so sorry that you have issues with ED as well. It's so weird that when you feel out of control of your life that somehow it translates to food.
I'm not able to watch the video right now but I read the description and I can relate to how you say you're not hungry when eating out with friends because they don't have a specific dietary need there, it sucks and it's even worse when it's not something you want to share. Therapy helps but man does it take a while to deal with
Is it weird to say that I'm both happy and sad that you relate? I'm happy that you have someone you can feel solidarity with but sad that you have to go through it. Going out to eat with friends really suck when you have dietary restrictions because you know they feel bad and when they realize there's nothing there you can eat, things get awkward because they want to accommodate and you don't wanna make a fuss. It's just easier to say you're not hungry.
@@angelabenedictI have so many food reactions that I can't eat at the vast majority of restaurants. You're not alone.
@@MarkRose1337 I'm so sorry. That's terrifying. You literally have to be in control of everything that you eat.
@@angelabenedict Pretty much! The best options for me are sushi (which has simple ingredients) and breakfast places (eggs, bacon, cheese). So I don't eat out very often. Even steak places are out, since they usually marinate the steaks in vegetable oil of some sort, which are all problematic for me.
I have the same disorder. It’s very difficult to manage. Diet , exercise, proper sleep , de stress is key with it. Also working on your stuck truama in your body . Somatic exercises help tremendously. I can’t take thyroid medication it makes it worse.
As we age and go into menopause. Which is when bio identical hormones estrogen need to be replaced so we have a decent quality of life as we get older. It’s rough. People say I have an eating disorder I don’t think so. I think I just can’t eat like the rest of the world and I am finally ok with it . ( like I can’t eat sugar, gluten, fast food ect ) , I am sorry you’re dealing with this. 🖤
The trauma is the hardest part. And it's so crazy hearing from so many different people but how true it is with the correlation between trauma and autoimmune disorders. It's as if escaping the very thing that caused this wasn't enough that these people need to leave a permanent mark by way of affecting our health. I'm really sorry to hear that you struggle with this as well. The hormones are a bitch. I take vitamin e because it's meant to regulate your estrogen and I was experiencing dominance which made my boobs feel like they were going to explode 24/7. Currently working on the sleep. Covid gave me insomnia as did the TSH roller coaster starting in September.
Keep fighting the good fight, Angie. My metabolism has gone up. Currently eating less and managing exercises. You have so many methods
barely started the video but i just want to say thank you for talking about this and sending all my love 🖤🥀
You're very welcome. Thank you for listening. 🖤🖤🖤
My mother nearly lost her life to her thyroid before I was born, her graves disease was so bad they used pictures of her in medical textbooks. They nuked it, and I have known the struggle through loving her....A nightmare for me is the thought of being stuck on a desert island with her.... Knowing I would have to watch her slowly die
This broke my heart. That's an awful fear to carry with you. My husband and I were actually talking about thyroid nuking yesterday. He's a scientist and studying medicine as well as working in medicine so I asked him if life would just be easier if I nuked the thyroid - he said it would be so much harder because even under attack, my thyroid does a million jobs every second and when you nuke the thyroid you have to replace it with a medication that does one job once a day which isn't enough and causes a whole host of issues. Graves is far more dangerous than hashimoto's, I'm really glad to hear that your mother survived it. She's lucky to have you in her life.
Inmy experience, EDs tend to never truly, fully leave you alone. In rough times they like to pop back up and give you a friendly reminder there's more to hate about yourself.
What helps me is to talk about those thoughts the moment I realize I have them. Fortunately I have people that will listen, and not invalidate me. It doesn't make the thoughts gk away, but helps the rational side of me to stay on top of them.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with both disorders, and I wish you all the strength you need.
If you would have said this to me 2 years back, I would have told you that I don't fall into that category because I wasn't engaging in what I believed was an eating disorder at the time. At the time I had implemented what I felt was a really healthy regimen by way of eating lots of vegetables, low sugar, no carbs, drinking tons of water and exercising basically 7 days a week. Like an idiot, at the time - please bear in mind I was in my very early twenties and this is in the primitive stages of the internet or information wasn't as ubiquitous - I started incorporating chocolate laxatives multiple times a day because in my brain I thought that since we needed to use the toilet anyway I wasn't doing anything that went against my normal body processes I was merely speeding it up so it didn't have time to become fat. As I got older, looking back I now realize exactly what I was doing and how incredibly wrong that was. At the time we only knew of the two types of eating disorders you either anorexic or bulimic and if you're not doing one or the other, you don't have one! Totally not the case. It's that hardcore structure and discipline that you have over yourself that feels like the ultimate form of self-control and then obviously seeing those results is like a total high. Having realized exactly what that was as an adult I very quickly fell into the mindset of, well I was a dumb kid and I will never do that crap again because I'm older and I know better. But like you said weird chess pieces get moved into place when you do that to yourself regardless of age and they can be moved back at any point in your life and become a problem. I genuinely didn't know that.
@angelabenedict Absolutely. Being able to recognize any patterns is such a big step, and if the internet has done one good thing, it's raising awareness and having people exchange experience. I really liked the way you described the mindset of being in control, what it meant to you and what it actually is, it's so spot on. When I first recovered I thought I would be immune for the rest of my life, just as I did before I actually got my first one. And ten years later, life throws me a couple of lemonades, and the thoughts start going again. Thank you for being so candid with your struggles, and I wish you all the best, both for your mental and your physical struggles.
I can relate , when I was 5 years old till 15 , I had morphia which thankfully burned out . I developed severe anorexia throughout my whole life because of it , I started to restrict At 12 years old, because it was the only thing I could control . I still struggle with it till this day , and I thought I was fine for two years , but the recent passing of two people very close to me triggered my anorexia so bad again .
I just remember thinking I didn’t want to live another year of my life as a prisoner to my Ed , and seeked therapy and treatment for it .
It’s an awful way to live .
I’m 28 right now and I don’t want to drag this out to my 30s.
Your video spoke greatly to me ❤
I will never understand how experiencing a lack of control in our lives somehow translates to food. But it's the story for so many of us coming from so many different walks of life. The need to exert control and some aspect of our lives translates to the same thing. I wish you all the healing in the world 🖤🖤🖤
I have a great aunt dealing with the exact same illness you have. She’s incredibly thin, eats very little and is constantly on afib so has turn to wearing a fit bit. You’d never guess off of a glance but she deals with a lot and treats it with extensive vitamins, diet and blood work lol. Fortunately she’s well into her 70s so wish you the best! ❤
ED is horrible in all it's forms. Happy you got help and get better again and that you have the support you need. Love you and stay safe 💜❤🖤
This is something I've noticed recently with myself as well. I never exactly had a proper eating disorder, but I've always dealt with poor self image, and I've always desired to lose weight despite never having been overweight or unhealthy. It's just something ingrained in my head, that I need to be smaller. I've been ill these last few months (still don't know exactly what's going on) and I've lost about 10 pounds. I have not been eating or drinking enough, and at 23, I now weigh the same as I did 10 years ago. Despite feeling physically terrible, there is a part of me that is pleased with this unnecessary weight loss, and proud that I have a smaller appetite. My mental health is in complete shambles and that is just contributing to the cycle of feeling too poorly to eat, and feeding off the pleasure of getting smaller. I've also had to kind of force myself to eat, and I've also been force feeding myself sweet potatoes, because my potassium levels got a bit too low. It sucks because I want to be healthy so badly!!! It sucks to know that despite wanting so badly to be healthy, there is a part of me actively trying to sabotage that.
I can't tell you how much your comment of knowing that what you did to get there was unhealthy and wrong but still feeling pleased about it hit close to home. I think that's probably a really good indicator that we're having an unhealthy relationship with food. It's doing something you know is unhealthy, feeling pleased about it but being freaked out about being pleased about it. I think a really good indicator on whether or not your body is where it should be is based on how you feel physically because if you're feeling awful then it's not for you. I think the reason that I felt so great when I did this the first time around is because I was exercising quite a lot, I was doing cardio and weight 7 days a week and I could bench people much larger than myself even though at my lowest I actually went under 100 lb. I think about that now, as you say you're 23 because that's how old I was when I got that small and would I genuinely believe is that you have age on your side with this one. Younger people have a greater ability to heal, you're far more resilient the younger you are. If I pulled the shit that I did back then now I would be in the hospital. I was abusing laxatives. Now more than 20 years later I still suffer from gastrointestinal issues.
HUGS....🤗. Hope you keep getting better ❤️🩹
Thank you!
I have acid reflux when i go to sleep as well it sucks. One doctor said i had a ulcer another said i didn't. So both put me on acid reflux medicine which help for a while till it doesn't. I tried to do the gut health thing too but with my adhd it was hard to stick to a routine. Thank you gor for sharing your story.
I'm going through a lot of thyroid tests right now. I've been struggling with weight fluctuations over the past year. I didn't realize i was relapsing into orthorexia until watching this. You just stopped a cycle in me now that i see it. Thank you so much. I wish you the best. 💜
It's weird when you don't realize it happening. It sounds like you and I have similar experiences. Health conditions have caused us to kind of take charge of our health in certain ways that it's moved the wrong chess pieces into position.
Oh man, I feel ya! Thyroid issues are a PITA...especially with sleep patterns and that anxiety feeling. ❤
I wish there were more progress on the thyroid and autoimmune research front.
@@angelabenedict I completely agree. 🌹
I am fortunate in that levothyroxine has always managed my hypothyroidism effectively, and it's progressed very slowly. May have to consider a gluten-free diet if that changes.
Good job on “taking your medicine” ❤
Happy New Year Angela. Please take good care of yourself 😊.
Happy new year, love 🖤🖤🖤 - I'm a work in progress lol!
@@angelabenedict same here lol. Thank you for being so awesome. From your music and stories to your DIY's to your honest clothes hauls, it's great to have someone talk about the goth scene in a way that's welcoming and fun.
You're not alone. Mine has been causing me problems recently as well. Unfortunately, my now former best friend Britt Storts was extremely unsympathetic and disrespectful to me for unrelated reasons. I'm sure her "midwest emo" pass is still good. She's not well at the few private shows I do, and her goth pass is gone, especially for "gutta goths, ghetto goths, etc.." that are kinda in the NYC scene. I respect my influences well enough to recognize when a Christian isn't a Christian, but more like a gang member that goes between music scenes for unrelated reasons. I might not have the best instrumental, but when the baby bats in NYC needed something, I gave them an alternative version of the 2nd album in my main series. They needed something neutral and safe what might be considered dangerous area. I got an email back from Cleopatra Records recently, and still reworking Jack Off Jill's back catalog into something they want, and I plan on doing something for The Electric Hellfire Club at least once. It's a new moon, I still practice my beliefs and like when people can get along. It's a shame when I have to pick work and friends over one interloper, again.
To tell the truth I'd never think you have fillers. And people so used to think that change of face is caused by them that really can't see the difference between weight changes and surgery. Nonetheless you look great and thanks for sharing your story.
I have ill gallbladder and can relate in some of your symptoms. Chronical process in body can change your whole life, so changes in appearance - it is smth that you just have to be aware. And your example really helps not to have ED and just... Be cautious but not do anything extreme to your health.
Sending healing vibes.
🖤🖤🖤
Happy new year, Angela.
Happy new year!
The 2 minds in the Ed really rings a bell for me and not many people get it. I'm really sorry and I hope you get better soon
It's crazy how it's almost like two different people in there and not the same person who just grew up, matured and got over that crap. Nope evil version still exists.
It sucks that you found yourself in that place again, but I’m glad you were able to recognize something was wrong. As someone who developed an ED in her young teens and still fights with it, especially now that my reproductive health issues cause problems that make me focus on my body, I absolutely understand a lot of what you’re saying. That gag reflex thing? Yeah, I deal with that too and not feeling hungry. It’s so easy to slip back into it for me. I want that control so badly. Luckily, my husband has been supportive and therapy is a big help too. Gotta work on that past trauma, right? Which is a little hard to do when you don’t realize the severity until your thirties.
Thanks for being so candid, it helps others with feeling alone in this. I know it does for me.
Here’s to healing, however long it takes.
Happy new year, Angela 🖤 Wishing you good health and high amount of positivity this year 🥰
Happy New Year to you tooo!! Thank you so much for the well wishes, Sending positive vibes right back 🖤🖤🖤
Dearest Anglea, I am so sorry that you have been experiencing such a difficult time in your life. I too am also a survivor of eating disorders, as my body has oscillated between "Anorexia Athletica" and "Binge Eating", whilst also simulatanously experiencing the effects of a weak immune system which has caused so many gastrointestinal problems for me, personally, especially in regards to various different chronic illnesses, especially affectations with respect to my weight and the way in which my body processes food, so much so that my skin complexion once even gained a greenish hue and this was very preoccupying for me, at the time. I am also an autistic adult and at times, my natural proclivity for avoiding specific food textures and colors became exacerbated because of my eating disorders as well. At the age of fifteen, I became very militant and regimented with many different changes in my lifestyle and diet and at the time, I presumed that what I was doing was right for my own personal circumstances and situation, but then I even started to unfortunately experience bouts of acid reflux and of negative "body-checking" so to speak. My body also became severely inflammed and it was extremely difficult for me to digest specific foods. With that being said, you are such a special human being and a wonderful soul and I truly hope that you and your family may find peace amid the storm. I have been watching your content for almost seven years and I feel as though I have grown up alongside your guidance in the Gothic subculture. I have learned immensely regarding the many ways in which we can show so much compassion and love through our artistry and especially as members of the Gothic subculture. I feel so much empathy for your current position and circumstances, and I just wanted to say that even though I have not had the privelege to become acquainted with you personally, I support your mental and physical wellness journey fully and I truly hope that you can reach a point of stability and health in your life. I am sending you all of my positivity and love. Please, be kind to yourself!
I have Graves disease, it is also an auto-immune disorder that effects the thyroid. I recently became extremely hyperactive, my meds were working at all......I have leveled out, but I absolutely understand
Graves disease is quite scary, I'm glad to hear that you have it under control. Thyroid afflicting autoimmune disorders run in my family. I got graves and hashimoto's. You'd think having two ends of the dramatic spectrum like that you get a kid that was right there in the middle all evened out but nope turns out it's just one or the other.
@@angelabenedict I am with you on all of that. I'll probably just do iodine treatment
I understand both. I dealt with ED as well. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking old things and slipping into bad habits. I have to remember. I'm sick, my body needs to eat. I have fibromyalgia and it's a bitch. Like you told us, I'm telling you the same thing. Stay positive. Much love. 💜
I'm so sorry that you deal with this as well. It is a really crazy form of thinking when your brain is completely split down the middle to where you know you need the food to heal. You're sick, your body needs nutrients to get better but there's that other part that says, I like the way my clothes look And the fact that I had so much control over my body that I did that to myself. And that's why I genuinely believe that it's so rooted in control because if we could control our illnesses to where we can have the same dramatic effect on it as we do on losing weight, we would choose not being sick every time.
@angelabenedict I completely agree! Sorry for the late reply. I didn't get the notice till now. UA-cam is something else. The root of mine was my ex-husband. I gained weight after having MY daughter, and his abuse went through the roof. He was abusive before, never called me fat while pregnant, but after my daughter was born, he lost his shit. Around the 3 month mark, he started the name calling. When I met him, I was very skinny. I couldn't gain weight. But while I was pregnant, my boobs went from A cup to D cup, my feet grew a couple sizes and etc. Welll, Mr. Narcissist went full asshole. I put up with his bullshit for 5 years. Kept leaving him and going back. The last three years I was with him, my eating disorder has come. Badly. I won't go into details, but if you know, you know. I left him in 1999 permanently. Guess what? I lost the weight after I left him. He had the nerve to tell me I looked good and come back. I told him absolutely not. You wanna hear a bat shit thing. He was overweight when I met him. Never judge his body. He, on the other hand. Well, we all know what he loved, and it wasn't for me.
I've been with my boyfriend of going 24 years. He met me while I was skinny,after I left my ex. He was skinny as well. Loved me for me. It's been my ride or die. My rock. But best of all, the best father I can ever ask. My daughter had him walk her down the aisle when she got married. He is now a grandfather to a 3 year old toddler. Who loves her grandfather dearly. My ex? She disowned him. Last we heard, he is homeless and living out in the woods. And being an insane stalker. Even the town he lives outside of puts a warning in the paper about him and posters warning the area about him . If you wanna see it, I can message it to you on Facebook. But yes, that man was the root of it because he tore me apart mentally. I'm doing better. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking old thoughts. Like you don't need to eat, or I'll grab a bite later. Same as you. The way we see ourselves is horrible. We need to be much nicer to ourselves. I'm overweight today, and so is my boyfriend. But we're in our 50s now, and our bodies don't process food like it used to. I'm overweight due to having chronic pain. More than the fibromyalgia. But I remind myself. I'm sick. I almost lost my life in 2017 due to kidney failure. Long story. And I was wilting away for 2 years while doctors could find the cancer in my uterus. I lost over 80 lbs within 6 months. I started at 200 lbs. 2016 through 2017 was a scary time health wise. I'm grateful I got to stay here a bit longer so I could meet my wonderful granddaughter and get to know her. Sorry for the long ass novel. If someone is reading this and you're with an abusive partner. Please leave. They don't love you. You will find someone who will treat you like a Goddess or a God. Also, return that love back to them. I guarantee you, it's so worth it! Stay safe. Much love.💜💜💜
@angelabenedict thank you. I forgot to thank you! Thank you for being here and telling your stories. You're so relatable and approachable. I feel like I'm sitting here talking to an old friend and catching up on times!
Thank you for being so vulnerable ❤
Thank you for speaking on the health dieting being a trigger for EDed behaviors! I used to struggle with them and when I was advised a diet for health reasons I really had a pace myself and not follow everything to a T because I could really feel the past behaviors trying to rear their heads. Luckily I was not pulled down the spiral but there's definitely always a risk.
THANK YOU ANGELA! (This is a long msg so I apologize in advance) everyone hears "lupus" and are like "ohh nooo! " but Hashis? ...they're like "oh..phew..just hypothyroidism..."🙄
even my pain management dr acted like it was nothing- and now, after 10 yrs of being diagnosed, my recent labs (TSH) were crazy they went up to a 12 !
In the past, I went through a few phases of losing a lot of weight kind of like your explanations, to where people were even telling me I was TOO "SKINnY".
Which also triggered some old thoughts from way back when I was 19-20 (my ex husband threatened me w/ divorce 1 month after we married because I "needed to lose weight " he got SUPER controlling..and wanted to change me into a totally different person) so when we were apart due to his military training after that, I became hyper fixated on what I ate, losing weight & building muscle..it was always "healthy"( besides drinking coffee at work like it was water) , I became extremely controlling over my food intake and went to the gym daily.. not for him...to control what I could..bc I felt so out of control from everything that had built up since I was a kid..
I apologize for the scatterbrained writing- I just trip out at how it sounds so much like me.
I'm SO sorry I wrote so much here..I'm just so thankful and am experiencing/have experienced so much of this..thank you for making me and so many others feel seen and understood while explaining your experiences..I always take away a valuable lil nugglet of truth, wisdom, or a long lost memory that 90s talk brought back to me..
You rock. Truly.
Again..sorry for the damn novel..
Also..@ 20:00.. much love to you💜 and hugs
Thanks again
...i shall end this eternal msg.
hope you get better soon Angela 🤍
Thank you for the well wishes! I promise, I'm working on it!
Thank you so much for sharing. It takes so much courage to recognize something is not right. I relate so much to what you have said🖤 best to you and I hope you are feeling encouraged to keep going on your journey🖤💋
Happy New Year 🖤🦇 your videos have gotten me through out the years of my life , but your videos have helped me learn more music and styles that are out there and knowing more about you have made me smile 🖤Sending you lots of love and support , I support you always
I'm sorry you have this issue. I hope by making it public you help someone. However, I think it's kind of sad that you got so many questions that your hand was forced. I guess I was raised to not make personal inquiries like questions about appearance. I hope you continue to get healthy.
That's kind of you to say, thank you. I do hope that it helps others when they hear their own plight or something close to it come out of the mouth of someone else. There's something very validating and healing and knowing that you're not alone in something. Unfortunately, having a social media presence opens you up to scrutiny over your appearance. I can't tell you how often I've made a video such as this, pouring out my heart and I'll get a question or query regarding what lipstick I'm wearing or that they don't like my hair in that particular style or asking where I got the top. It is a bit intrusive but I guess it just comes with the package. Thank you for the encouragement, I'm going to keep going with the supplements and hopefully find a better endocrinologist.
Wishing you and anyone riding the struggle bus the best. The human body and condition can be bewildering. Sometimes one step at a time is all we can do but it can get us through the hard spots.
Wow this video is so deep. Thank you for your honesty and being open with all of us.
I hope you feel better from COVID because that sucks.
Even through all that you are going through you still look beautiful 🥺🖤.
I was diagnosed of myasthenia gravis at the age of 32. It was a hard hit for a passionate of bodybuilding and martial arts like me. My illness afflicts even my eyes with ptosis, giving me a strange look, but I don't mind it because I was never beautiful, so I started in advantage about it.
You are amazing and strong 🖤Sharing your wisdom with the world is a powerful way to help not only yourself but the world around you. Thank you for being you🖤🦇🖤 I am sending love and support your way🖤
I have Hashmoto's. I'm so sorry you're going through it. But thank you for sharing, it's made me aware of some things I have been ignoring. Also, your tone is friendly and I need that right now too. Take care
🖤🖤🖤
Oh Angela. I’m so sorry you have been dealing with this. Please take care of yourself. I myself have had an ED since 12 years old. I’m 55 now. It’s better than it used to be. It ebbs and flows but it has never gone completely away. I can so relate to the trauma and control thing. I wish you peace and healing.
I hope you’ll get better soon, I’ll keep you in my prayers. Keep fighting 💪🏻 Thanks for sharing. And NO ! Nobody’s life is PERFECT 🖤💜🖤
Happy new year, Angela! Wishing you all the healing and support this year. Thank you for sharing. 🖤
Happy New Year to you as well! Thank you so much for the kind words and support. 🖤🖤🖤
Happy New Year Angela 🖤🦇 Wishing you all the best.
Happy New Year! 🖤🖤🖤
Take care of yourself. Your content was very important for me in rediscovering my alt roots. I'm so much happier because of that connection to my past, you and your work are appreciated.
I love this authenticity you carry
Thank you 🖤🖤🖤
Thank you for sharing your health problem, please take good care of yourself. 🤗🖤❤️👻☠️🕷️🕸️🦇💌🙏🏼
You're very welcome, thank you for listening.
You are very brave, all the best with your journey with your health, thank you for being so honest and sharing x
Thank you for the kind words. I'm going to keep on trying!
Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. Wishing you all the best for 2024.
You're very welcome, thank you for listening. Wishing you the best for 2024 as well 🖤🖤🖤
Thank you for sharing and for your honesty. I hope 2024 sees your health improve. Sending you good vibes! 🖤
Thank you so much for the well wishes. Once I started getting praised about my weight loss, knowing that it came from being sick with hyperthyroidism and then me keeping up the weight loss in an unhealthy way, I knew I had to say something because not everything is what it seems on the outside. I don't want People making unhealthy choices just to look like someone else. I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself if that happened.
Happy New Year Angela 🎆 take care of yourself ❤
Happy New Year! Thank you so much, you take care as well 🖤
Happy new year!!! I hope you have an amazing 2024 🖤
Happy New Year to you too 🖤🖤🖤
@@angelabenedict 🖤
Thank you so much for sharing this.
The body and health is so important in life. And mental and physical health are connected in so many ways .
And sharing the experience of how easy it is to fall back into the traps if ED s is even more important.
I'm not neurotypical, I've got ahdh (and tourettes) and I have times when I simply forget to eat (which is a problem when you have a history of not eating at all).
Having good people around is so important no matter what you are going through.
I'm so greatful for my absolutly fabulous baby bat daughter and my amazing husband.
They constantly keeps reminding me to eat and take care of my selfe.
(Even thou the hubby isn't physically around me right now, he allways ask how I'm doing the first thing when we talk).
Thank you for sharing. I'm on an illness journey as well. This december I've had my heart checked out after getting ridiculously high cholesterol in several blood tests. Turns out I'm fine for now. But when I'm 40 (in 10 years) it's going to be a big problem. This comes after being bedridden for a year as a side effect of a medicin I'm taking with initial side effects of heavy sedation while getting used to it.
While it's been a spark for getting up and starting to exercise again, but I'm actually terrified of what this is going to do to my old ED, while having to start reading food labels again. High cholesterol is genetic for me and I'm at a healthy weight already, which my old ED told me was impossible.
Anyways, I'm rambling. I just want to say: I appreciate the wisdom and there are more of us out here who finds feeding ourselves while staying healthy to be complicated. But in the end, food is a privilage and eating is a good thing. Cheers
Thank you Angela. Hearing you speak out about your health, and mental health, made me feel so seen and recognized. Yours is very close to my story, with the gluten thing and all. I did bad with it though, and I ignored my health (both physical and mental) for more than 12 years. I'm taking meds and supplements now, and I feel better, but in hindsight... it's been a real struggle. I'm feeling such compassion for my past self, because I made it so much harder for myself, but still I managed (for a good part) to still be a decent human being and I'm trying to not beat myself up too much.
Life is super hard, but knowing you're not alone, that you have someone dear to your side, is everything :) stay strong Angela, we hear you, we see you, we love you and your kind soul, and we all support your priceless work 🥰🖤
Thank you so much for the kind words. It's true what you say, when you hear your struggles coming out of someone else's mouth, there's something very affirming about that and comforting as well because you know you're not alone. There is something quite isolating when you're in the depths of your symptoms. It could feel like you're the only person in the world going through it while we look at everybody else living there seemingly normal lives.
I'm glad to hear that you are getting your life on track now. It's a hard thing, a lot of People on the outside of chronic illness don't really get it but once you're diagnosed with something and you have to change such a huge part of the way that you've lived your life from more than 20 years, in my case 40 - that's hard. We develop habits and routines and we don't realize how much food is rooted into that and when suddenly you can't eat the stuff that you've eaten your entire life and you have to change it dramatically, it's very disorienting.
Thank you for sharing this information about your condition with your subscribers and hopefully it’ll help someone else. I’m wishing that 2024 will be good to you…love, prayers, and hugs 🖤🙏
You're very welcome. I hope it helps others as well. Chronic illness can feel very isolating so sometimes hearing your plight out of someone else's mouth can make you feel a little more part of the world unless on your little island.
Thank you for sharing. I experienced an unintentional ED as well during pandemic. Wondering why I felt light headed everyday with panic attacks every week. Also had gut issues with painful bloating which caused my food control. I did not realize it until I started a food log, realizing “what the?! I’m not eating I’m just snacking throughout the day, where are my meals?” So glad we caught the ED sooner than later.
this is SO relatable. I've had stomach issues for the last 13 years now and they really trigger my ED to rear it's ugly head because my diet has become so restrictive and the pain/nausea makes me not want to eat and the vomiting can become chronic at times..it's so much harder than people will ever understand. I can't have gluten, dairy and so many veggies, fruitsc beans or spices.
thanks for sharing, Angela. I wish you the best. never worry about your looks to much your personality always shines through it and you always look good with each new outfit ect. take care.
You're very welcome, thank you for listening! There is definitely a lot of shame in admitting all of this because when I first did these videos I was kind of coming from a place of wisdom - like knowing what I'd done and that it was wrong and that I've grown and matured since then and learn from my example! Meanwhile, my dumbass did it again 20 years later. Granted not to the same extreme but the same chess pieces were moved into position. I'm glad I was able to recognize when it had turned into that because much like the first time around, I didn't know I was doing it in the first place. It's weird how you can inadvertently find yourself doing something stupid for ages and not realize that you're doing it. I just really hope that there's a positive takeaway to all of this and nobody does the dumb crap that I did.
@@angelabenedict your welcome. we all do dumb Shit sometimes a lot of hidden aspect's to are unconscious . we can either beat are selves up for it or improve. but regardless honesty & vulnerability shows courage. you did the right thing. thanks for responding. 😎
Long time viewer and recent commenter. I appreciate your videos so much it’s a shame that people point out these things yet I’m glad you shared with us. It gives us a peek into the human behind the screen. I hope your health journey improves and that all things moving forward will be less difficult as you have come to recognize this in yourself. Wishing you the best of luck. Thank you for being an inspiration to me for several years.
Thank you so much for reaching out and commenting. I really appreciate you being part of the community. Even if you don't comment you're still very much part of the flock. I was a little taken aback at first but I realized that having one's appearance scrutinized is very much part of having a social media platform such as this. I'll make videos where I pour my heart out and someone will comment about liking my shirt or asking where I got my necklace or what shade of lipstick I'm wearing. Not everyone is like that But many are and let me tell you, if you got a hair out of place - they're going to tell you. I also think that this was important to point out because people started to comment on how I was looking slimmer and I didn't want people to see that in a positive light because it didn't come about in a positive light. I mean if I started exercising and eating healthily and it happened naturally, that's one thing but the fact that it came by way of hyperthyroidism and then that hyperthyroidism respawning unhealthy habits - I felt like it was important for that to be known.
@@angelabenedict Hopefully this will quell those peoples’ curiosity and intrusive comments. Regardless of looks your health is most important. Sending you well wishes. Thank you again.
I wish you health and vitality, Angela! 🖤 🦇
Thank you so much, I wish you the same 🖤🖤🖤
Sorry to hear what you go through and that others make their own minds about things they don't know anything off.
Myself have chronica sicknesses too. And I have hypothyreous *not sure I spellt right.
Hope you feel better soon Angela. And stay safe gorgeous 🦇🖤🖤🖤🖤🦇
I think I know what you mean, hypothyroidism. Your thyroid is underactive?
@@angelabenedict yes. And it took long time before firsr doctor took me serious. We have both thyroid sickness and thyroid cancer in family. I had all symphtoms, but doctors here went after "old rules" and not new recommendations. It ended up I was getting much worser, gained lots of weight and was so sick so they thought I actually had a stroke. At emergency they found out it wasn't a stroke and sended me back to doctors. First then they started to treat me for my thyroid sickness.
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with your health , wishing you the very best health-wise and overall happiness for 2024.
Thank you very much for the well wishes. I wish you a very happy and healthy 2024 as well 🖤🖤🖤
Oh my. Thank you for your experience. Why do people make accusatory comments on one's appearance? Glad you're pulling it together.
As long as we're sharing: I have CFS/ME and have been dealing with in earnest since about 2005. I never talk about it to my friends or people I meet. Except when someone asks me what I do for work. Because I don't work as a result of the disorder. I miss the days when my peer group asked 'so, what kind of music do you like?'
I also HAVE to rely on meds because without them I'm a total basket case and can't cope with any sort of stress, big or small. My anti-depressants keep me sane although I'm very aware of the sort of background, underlying feeling in my mind space which is a perpetual 'why bother?'
MUSIC is my solace. Ever since I was a kid music was my safe place. I curate a music program that presents music I feel very strongly about. The meds may have blunted my creativity aND emotional response somewhat but music (and an amazing wife) are my safe space. My home.
And I ramble.
Thank you.
I'm glad that you're able to speak honestly about needing medication for your mental health because that is something that so many people who know nothing of mental health struggles will openly criticize and shame someone over. I've had it done to me as well, IT require medication because of trauma that I experienced the first 30 years of my life. I was born into drug abuse, instability, neglect and domestic violence and when you grow up with that, you tend to normalize bad behavior and also don't recognize bad behavior because you're used to such extremes that someone doing it manipulatively or to less of a degree - will fly into your radar and you end up in situations where you just continue to be abused. I'm with a trauma therapist now and have been working on it for several years so, baby steps!
I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles. Physical health and mental health really do go hand in hand and oftentimes when we do struggle with the physical side unfortunately the mental stuff can follow. I'm really glad to hear that you found your peace and solace in music. Music truly is medicine. A strong and positive mindset is key to healing and music can change one's mood no matter of seconds.
@@angelabenedict Thankl you. I was born with my mental thing (maybe) but all in all I had a great upbringing. My wife's upbringing and life were more like yours so we're taking care of each other really. Thanks for your comments.
@@Amadeusthegreat100 your wife is very lucky to have you and vice versa. It's really comforting to see a couple who understand each other so well and are able to navigate and care for each other the way you do.
Anybody who dealt with ED should be aware, that you have it in you till the end of time.
You basically control it every single day, which makes you not fall back into it, but at the same time proves you having it.
Best wishes
I really thought I ditched it.
Happy new year get well soon 🫂
I’ve been on both ends of the thyroid spectrum. Hashimoto’s is such a challenge. It truly is a roller coaster. Thank you for sharing your story.
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It's crazy when that pendulum swings the other way. The symptoms between hyper and hypo are so dramatic that once the levels start to dip, you can feel it immediately. It's so hard to get the endocrinologist to test you as well because they don't treat hashimoto's as they should, they treat us like they treat every other patient that needs to be seen in endocrine and they'll see you every 3- 6 months. Hashimoto's doesn't work like that, our levels change and they change quickly so when they refuse to see us before the allotted time frame, we're stuck in a hyperthyroid state long enough to spend quite some time in severe discomfort. The first time I went hyperthyroid, I went down to 0.15 and my husband actually had to take days off from work to monitor my heart rate, we had to get a Fitbit and everything because it was a nightmare getting me to sleep and finally when I would fall asleep my heart rate would soar to 120 at like 4:00 in the morning jolting me out of bed and I would literally in the dark, rain or shine I was jogging around my neighborhood just to get my physical energy to match my heart rate because it was causing panic attacks. In the end I had to get my regular doctor to test my thyroid because my endocrinologist was so hands off about it. Needless to say I switched endocrinologists and two years later when I had another resurgence of hyperthyroidism, the new endocrinologist in the same practice did the same exact thing is the last one. It's very difficult finding people that can handle hashimoto's patients.
@@angelabenedict 100 percent agree! I am on my third endo and finally am being monitored, but unfortunately many years of passive “care” have taken their toll. The endo before my current one just casually mentioned “you’ve had Hashimoto’s thyroiditis for years..” like I was supposed to know at all! It’s just insane. ANYTHING can mess with our levels .. introduction of new meds, stressors, and even supplements. Canaries in coal mines. Just know you are NOT alone - I am glad to hear you are taking charge of your wellbeing and doing what you need to do. Sending a ton of good vibes your way!
I really wanted to understand the reason for your weight loss, because it was very obvious.
I had to stop watching the video in the beginning, because the things you explained made me scared and horrified, and I felt a strange feeling of fear. Health issues are scary, but still very important to talk about.
Then I stopped to calm myself and resumed watching after 30 minutes. It became better, and now I understand the change. It's very important.
The truth be told, I personally wish I could lose some of the weight that I gained from my overeating habit that I gained since 2020. I gained over ten kilos and I'm not happy with that, because many of the items that I had and love don't fit anymore. It's items I bought years ago, and size replacement isn't easy.. I'm hoping that I will have the possibility to stop this gain.. It isn't what I want.
I'm really sorry, I don't mean to trigger your anxiety. The initial weight loss was all hyperthyroidism. It speeds your metabolism, gives you all the uncomfortable energy to do cartwheels down the hall at 4 am when you should be sleeping, steals your appetite, anxiety up the butt It took me almost a solid year to shake off those effects but they've recurred.
Weight up or weight down, unhealthy relationships with food are still a struggle and put a strain on your physical and mental well being. Given the position I'm coming from at the moment, I'm probably the last person to be giving pointers but what I can say is that setting limits on when to stop eating is a healthy habit, for me 7:30pm is to ensure I don't get relfux in the night but people do implement that in their lives to keep a healthy BMI. My doing it just moved the chess pieces into a triggering position given my history.
Hi Angela. Us girls need at least 1300 calories a day of food, a few carbs, a little sugar, a little fat and at least two cups of cooked (or 4 cups of raw) non starchy veggies a day. We need to eat every three to five hours to keep blood sugar level. We must eat LIVE food like fruits, any food that comes from a vine. We must be responsible to our food like we do finances, ourselves & others. Ignore horrible voices from the negligent teachers of the past. We need food every day to help us solve problems. Our bodies function easily & naturally when we eat our specified amount of calories per day. Otherwise our body gets burdened with trying to fix itself and takes a toll on it. Food is medicine and much cheaper than a high dr. bill. Thank you for sharing. Much love.
I have the opposite. I have graves disease - hyperthyroidism. Currently going through treatment. It sucks. The shakes, heart palpitations, anxiety, no sleep, constantly on edge. For so long I thought that was normal for me. It really kicked up a lot of food issues for me to try and control it. Slowly recovering.
You seem to be good at planning it all out, the important thing to keep in mind is making sure you eat.
Sounds awful to deal with at all though. I'm glad that you are self aware enough to right yourself though.
I was really good at implementing a strict diet regimen. I got meal planning down to an art. Once I was diagnosed with the autoimmune disorder as well as a gene defect that gives me freakishly high cholesterol no matter what I do and have to be on statins for the rest of my life - meant that a lot of the foods that I've eaten my entire life had to be cut out of my diet and things that contain specific nutrients had to really be focused on which made things really hard. It was kind of like being on the show chopped only The ingredients they gave you to work with were all things you've never seen nor heard of in your entire life. I didn't realize until having to cut it out how many things gluten is in. It is in soy sauce, it's in a lot of rice cereals because they put malt on it making an otherwise gluten-free cereal contain gluten. I think I'm still a work in progress with trying to regain those skills again with my newfound knowledge. I like to be as frugal as possible and eating gluten-free is the opposite of that considering how expensive gluten-free ingredients are. I do love to bake and a bag of gluten-free flour, a quite small one at that It's close to $20. So I've learned that oat flour is a really good replacement and since you can buy oats and bulk at Costco for fairly cheap All you need to do is grind it down by portion as needed. So it's very slow going but hopefully I'll get there at some point or another! When I do I plan on sharing all of the gluten-free discoveries I've made for people on a budget.
@@angelabenedict I've known people with celiacs and have heard how hard food can be when you have to cut gluten, and I don't envy you one bit. I'd think it's kind of an adventure to learn and find things to eat and how to cook certain things, but it is undoubtedly hard when you are hungry.
A diet change would be so hard for me because I have very little self discipline when it comes to food, so I do envy you and your ability to keep to a regimen. Though the older I get the more I have little choice with some things.
I am proud of you for being so self aware also. It's not easy to touch on things like this, but I am glad that you do. I've never had an ED, but I often relate to your mental health posts. I feel like it's important in order to keep ones self in check.
And good luck on the food journey. I like your food videos, so I would be interested to see one.for a gluten free adaptation. Surely veggie noodles could work for ramen?
I hope you're feeling better with having covid & do whatever you need to do with keeping yourself the healthiest you can be.
Thank you for the well wishes. I'm definitely working on it! Definitely do like to stick around even after testing negative.
@@angelabenedict thankfully I haven't got that but I know many people that did
I hope you feel better soon 🖤🖤🖤and get over covid. 🖤🥀
Thank you!
Happy New year angela you are stunning never heard of you're illness hope you,feel better love you're intelligent channel i look upto you angela
Thank you so much for the kind words. Happy New Year to you as well!
You're so right about the control. I lost weight. Then i stopped drinking. I stopped drinking to lose more weight smh. But i also wanted to show i could control control control. I think i need to manage that control
you are awesome
💯 MUSIC IS HEALING 🎶🎶🖤
Get well soon.
It's your channel and your life story so you're welcome to talk about your ED in as much or as little detail as you like.
Thank you so much. The first time I spoke about it I got chided and criticized because of how descriptive I was about the things that I had done and what it was like. They said that I was triggering those with ED and giving them ideas. It wasn't until I looked in my analytics to see the spikes in the most watched parts of my video and sure enough, it was the parts where I talked about numbers and the specific details of what I did to get there. It's quite creepy When you realize that you're cautionary tail is actually being used as a roadmap for someone to follow. I didn't realize this was a thing. Better safe than sorry I guess!
Oh hey, i got COVID for christmas as well. Thankfully it was over by new year but yeah... Was going around these holidays. I'm glad you're feeling better already 🤞
On another note: I'll never understand why people will feel the need to comment on other people's appearance in any way shape or form, maybe thats because i just dont notice myself... But it's just never necessary to do that, especially when it's about someone's weight.
It was crazy the way it happened too! A dear friend and I did some last minute Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. He had been spending time at our other friend's house who got over COVID weeks before. That day as we were shopping in the mall he suddenly stops in his tracks and says, I don't feel right! I thought it was just because he always forgets to eat so I tried to force feed him french fries to no avail. Exactly 2 days later my husband says to me, I don't feel right! He came home from work the wrong color. After a little bit of rest and hydration his temperature went up so I immediately got him a COVID test which he tested positive. We told friend number one from the mall who was still feeling crappy but didn't have a fever or any of the other telltale symptoms. He immediately used one of the covid tests in his home and I got a text full of expletives indicating that he indeed had COVID too. I spent two days taking care of my husband who got hit pretty hard and I took three tests, all came out negative. For two solid days. Then all of a sudden I went to go wash my face and I could not focus my eyes on the mirror and nearly fell down. It was the opposite of fun. So as it turns out, we should all play the number two in the lotto.
feel better soon. :)
I ALSO HAVE HASHIMOTOS HELLO. I feel seen girl. . Caused me soo many issues with my ed and weight.
Hashi's is so much more that people realize. We know, and the ones who truly should are the doctors. They treat us for hypothyroidism and then when the pendulum swings the other way, hyperthyroidism when those things are just a symptom of the actual disease. Hopefully they put more research into it.
@@angelabenedict I had a doctor completly deny that my thryoid levels where way off and blame me for all my symtoms its actaully insane. It took me over a year for a diagnosis when I had severe symtoms. The medical system is crazy
@@angelabenedict I think auotimmunes need WAYY more research into them. Start curing the problem, aka the immune system, not just the symtoms.
I have coeliac disease, so also no gluten. When someone found it funny to slip me gluten, my antibodies attack my pancreas when they're done with my small intestines. So much fun... 😭
I sometimes suspect thyroid issues too, but not all the time. My lab results also jump between normal and abnormal. So no diagnosis yet.
Omg, I'm so sorry to hear that. Why someone would want to give you what is essentially poison to your body is awful. That's why people like us have trust issues when other people are making our food.
I can tell you that from what my doctors have told me is that autoimmune disorders tend to come and pairs and one of the most common pairs is celiacs and hashimoto's. I think it has something to do with that cellular mimicry to wear gluten will cause an antibody attack on the thyroid in hashi's just like it causes an attack on your pancreas with celiacs. I'd recommend being tested by your doctor for the TPO antibodies that are present in hashimoto's to see if you do have it. Sometimes the onset can be quite slow, my sister potentially has it as well and I'm noticing the progression in her the same way it happened with myself. But once your fire way to know is to get those antibodies tested to see if you have them or not.
Yes, I know... I wish you well, I weigh 106, and have 3 autoimmune diseases. Hashimoto's included. Luckily I have a really sarcastic attitude about most of my disabilities. It is the way I personally deal with things. My doctors are so cool, and treat me with so much respect. I have 6 things wrong, so they can use the research from my disabilities, so this makes me feel positive. I can help others with this mess of a body. I hope you feel better..
It's great that you have a sense of humor about it. Having a sense of humor about it is about the only thing you can do in those situations to keep sane.
I've had times where I don't wanna eat. I think exercise helps...I'm a Goth and I like basketball weird right. Hope you are ok Angela. you will be ok. Drab Majesty are playing in February London
One of my first boyfriends, I'll say the third boyfriend I've ever had in high school was also a goth that was on the basketball team. He was the only one on the court with long black hair and black nail polish. Was quite funny.
Feel better ❤ covid sucks
Thank you. I'm finally testing negative but the symptoms linger.
Is physically feeling ill to eat food from stress indicative of ED? This made me question too, but ty for being candid. Hoping you have health and regulated levels soon.
I think that it started when Time slipped away from me and before I knew it I only had a few hours to eat something before the 7:30 p.m. cut off. Then I would get so flustered and overwhelmed by trying to scramble and figure out what to make that would be substantial enough to contain all the nutrients necessary that I would make myself physically sick stressing over it. I would make it to 7:30 with nothing prepared and have to wait till the next day to eat again. That scenario played over so many times that I just started automatically getting physically ill at the concept of bringing myself to eat a meal.
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have a good year 2024🥂🍾🌠🌉🌌 kiss💋💋❤ for you Angela😊❤💋🇲🇫🇲🇫
You tooo!!!!!
I have Crohn’s and hyperthyroidism due to a throat injury. It is so difficult. I have never had an ED, but it has given me body dysmorphia. I can see a difference in myself if I gain or lose 5 lbs. either way, it just looks wrong. I know I’ve never been overweight but my body just looks like I have weird proportions. Like, I know that having a smaller but still noticeable chest and a bigger butt is considered desirable but I hate that it’s not even with me. I think it’s because I don’t have control over my appearance and never have. It’s extended to a lot of other features. Basically anything I was made fun of for having, which is my whole face. Over my lifetime my parents, and later me, have spent enough on my teeth to buy a new car. I am super insecure about them because now I think ‘they look like bad chicklet caps.’ They aren’t. But I freak out if I don’t whiten them just because I drink coffee sometimes and assume they wold be stained. There is nothing remarkable about my nose, and I know that logically, but it doesn’t look right on my face. I have insecurities about my lips, which people have thought were fillers, just because they look crooked to me.
I know it’s in my head and nobody else sees it but it’s there. I can deal with it, because I have gotten into body mods, make up, and hair. Like, I still see the flaws but I worry less when I can control how I look. I can give people to love or hate about how I look, and either response is fine, because it was MY choice to look that way. I honestly didn’t think I had body dysmorphia until the second time a therapist said it. I honestly don’t think it is in the sense of ‘these issues don’t exist’ for me. It’s just that I care more about them because others are not that observant (which gives me a lot of comfort). I’m not shaming, but people have this conception about any body dysmorphia-related issue only affects beautiful people, and it’s always issues that don’t exist. I honestly thought that way. But my therapist pointed out ‘don’t you think most body dysmorphia sufferers think they aren’t attractive enough to have it?’ She also explained that it’s not just the striking former models you see on specials about it. They just use people who will grab attention with their appearance and symptoms. But in my case, it’s someone who’s probably average to anyone else, if you take away the things I do to cope, seeing actual flaws to a more noticeable degree.
I think the only reason I have not developed an ED is because with Crohn’s, I can’t follow a meal plan for long term. I am supposed to try, but the closest I can get is ‘don’t eat foods that make me feel like I’ve been stabbed, and have these things on hand for when you have symptoms anyway.’ My case is under control now but it was severe, so I had a lot of surgeries and old scar tissue that make it hard to just eat the same way for a month or two. I also have severe pain if I eat too much, or not enough. So I guess that’s a silver lining to having an illness since you were 5, as a 90s kid who grew up with all the 90s and early 00s body obsessions and fad diets, pseudoscience, and supplements. I did try to take some herbal supplement that was popular when I was a teenager (and not diagnosed with Crohn’s, or treated yet), and it put me in the hospital with GI bleeding after one time of taking it. So I guess my shitty health actually stopped my shitty mental health from getting worse, lol.
Oh wow, so you sustained an injury to your throat that also injured your thyroid. I'm really sorry to hear that. Crohn's disease is quite painful as well. I'm glad to hear that you have a sense of humor about it, oftentimes it's really the only thing we can do to make it a bit more light-hearted.
I am not sure, but I think there is corn flour that can be used to bake/cook things like paste etc.
I am very sorry to hear what you are going through, I hope things will improve for you.
There are alternatives, for sure. Lots of different types of gluten free flour. It's just not the same. I can make myself bread, pasta, pizza but it's very different. It's still a journey! Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm trying! 🖤🖤🖤
@@angelabenedict I have to thank, may your journey be successful.
I wouldn’t want any of your health problems. Hopefully there’s a reasonable resolution for you that’s effective!
Nope! They suck ass. High five your body for being cooperative and kind.
it doesn’t matter if you might look different (in the future) you’ll still look like a pretty morticia addams.
It's funny when you ask yourself "Why can't I have that life?" when quite frequently the object of your wish rarely has that life themselves. Of note, while I can't tell your age by your appearance, I can tell by your maturity.
Exactly. When you have a chronic illness that affects you on such a grand scale, you do have those moments where you kind of dwell on it and look at other people who don't have them and wish that you were more like them. I see people seemingly healthy pick up a slice of pizza or eating a bagel and I know it's horrible but I can't help but feel that pain of jealousy and wish that I was healthy like them. It sounds like we're all kind of guilty of that grass is greener mentality but we don't know other people struggles.
@@angelabenedict Yeah, the grass is always greener through the lens of external appearances. On a serious note, I misunderstood what you meant originally. I didn't realize you were wishing for simple things like eating certain foods. I can understand the jealousy for such simple wishes as that, and I wish you could enjoy such a seemingly innocuous experience...I honestly was considering the Social Media sanitized perfect life image. I somewhat know how you feel though, despite not having any illnesses. I am 36 and I am the architect of my own problems in so many cases. I recognize this, but it isn't any less real than being unable to do something for health because my adherence to my principles won't let me relax. A mental block of sorts. Either way, I hope for you to have a stable recovery, have children (or a child), to one day return to foods you love, etc. I've watched your channel on and off over a few years and you remind me of someone I used to know and respect. A mentor of sorts when I was a young teenager. Goodluck and godspeed.
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i’m going to try stopping eating past 7:30 pm, i have the exact same symptom. i have hashimotos and i usually have a nightmare around 6 am that wakes me up with acid reflux and a racing heart. it’s awful 😢
I'm so sorry! It's crazy how reflux during sleep translates to heart palpitations which trigger nightmares but honestly, not eating past 7:30 and that includes no caffeinated drinks (coffee, tea, soda) really does work. It takes about a week to take effect. If you can take zantac, take one of those right before bed to nix any residual acid that might decide to play up.
Is there something wrong with the sound? Anyone else have that problem?
What is it doing?
@angelabenedict i have no audio coming from the video but the rest of youtube seems to work for me.
Oh no! That's weird.
@@robertjohnson6663
@angelabenedict it works now😊.
What happened?
@@robertjohnson6663
I've got like no cheeks, wanna go halfsies? Seriously though i hope things will be getting better so you can get a break from all this. I know it gets old having a cascade of health problems. Yr not alone.
I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with the health being a stand-up comedian gig. Go home immune system, you're drunk! To bad we can't just unsub from that crap. I'll share some cheeks with ya!
I was trying to write something supportive, but got too focused on what i imagine would help, what do you need? How can we help?
That's very sweet of you to offer. If they invent it, I'd love a new immune system that knows what a thyroid is and doesn't kick the crap out of it thinking it's something horrific.
@@angelabenedict I'll get right on it!