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Fi user (infp) here in a relationship with a Fe user (infj). I had to laugh with recognition. A slice of dialogue: Often when I say something kind and appreciative to her she responds with: 'oh, that is so sweet of you to say/notice that!' I tend to be slightly confused and automaticaly respond: 'but it's true, that's what I feel/think… just speaking the truth here' She then smiles and says: 'it's so kind of you to take the effort to express it, though;' What initially confuses me is that I wouldn't show appreciation if I didn't mean it. It's less about being kind for me. Even though I noticed people seem to really like it when you say something appreciative/positive that you genuinly mean. So I try to it do as much as possible. :)
Fi user here too. ENFP. I couldn’t relate more! I have no intention of being “sweet”. I have no intention at all. I’m just making an observation. Conversely, the Fe person will say something like, “you’re so great!” And I feel confused/disoriented. I’ll be like, “Um, can I help you?” “Did you need something?” “Did I just say or do something that was meaningful?” And they’re all smiley and like, “no, you’re just the best!” Then I think of some things I need to go do right now, like go to the bathroom or something. Cause I have found myself a foreigner in the land of Fe, and I don’t speak the language.
@@heartpoint5289 Thats spot on! It's indeed observational: more like reporting on your current state of mind. And that raport just happens to be making the other person feel good. It wasn't intended as such. I'm not sure if this is a thing, but high Fe users seem to be silently (or not so silently) looking for confirmation that they are making you feel good. They are often taken for granted, with their naturally warm and giving nature. So when you make casual but genuine remarks about how you appreciate something they did - or better: how you appreciate them as a person - they get all excited and gratefull. Anyways, that's my take on it. :)
Here is a story of an INFP. I easily got crushes with boys in my teenage years (never acted on it, just in my imagination), but I only genuinely fell in love once...with my ex husband of 12 years. It wasn't an instant "love at the first sight" for me, we were only friends at first. But when I slowly learned all his sweet sides, he got my heart and got me said "I do" and I am loyal 100% and dedicated my life to serve him, thinking that we will be forever, growing old and die together. I trusted him 100%, never nagged on small things (even though sometimes we lived in poverty), worshipped the man and expressed my love to him every minute every day (with words and cooking, massages, made everything for him special, anything he asked...I even became the breadwinner because he had always jumped from jobs to jobs--or got fired. I wanted to support all his dreams, and boy he had so many dreams). Our sappy romantic marriage maybe seems a little bit too clingy and gagging for many people (some of my friends and families complained). But I loved him to the moon and back and sacrificed a lot of things for his demands, from my education plans (I have bachelor degrees, he was a highschool do), my personal dreams and goals, my jobs, my hometown, even my parents and my religion. We went through the lost of our baby, lost both my ovaries, lost our possessions, and countless pennyless/jobless moments. But I always thought we had a happy life...because we had each other. What an illusion. Too bad he was a "living in the moment" guy who had never be able to say no to any girl who gave him the slightest of interest (he was addicted to internet (sex) chat rooms). He became secretive, and I became insecure. When I finally found out that he'd slept with my (ex) bestest friend since childhood, I could no longer take it and decided to divorce him. I've accepted all his shortages, but *dishonesty, disloyalty, and manipulations* combo were the deal-breakers for me. He broke my heart so badly, got me into deep depression, I can't function for months and got me lost my restaurant business, house, health, etc. Now I think I'm done. I think I don't want to trust, fall in love, or get married again. I've spent too much time taking care of someone who didn't really appreciate me, I forgot to take care of myself. And I'm too blind to see it until it was too late, until I was too old. 😂 So I think INFPs are the blind fools. When we're in love, we're looking at the world with sparkling, pink lenses, and could easily get manipulated because we set aside our instinct and negative feelings over our naive trust to our loved ones. It was a VERY hurtful, devastating, and traumatic experience I never want another INFPs (or any other sensitive/feeling types) to get through. My ex husband was an ISTP. I would always adore and miss his cool stance, odd sense of humor, shy sweet smiles, level headedness, practicality, and skillful hands. We had a peaceful separation, and still good friends now. I still love him even after three years, but not head over heels in love with him anymore. I think I will always love him and reminisce on our sweet memories forever. He still asking to go back together, but I always said no. *Once an INFP said goodbye, unfortunately, it would be forever.* My ex bestest friend was an ESFP. She's my closest friend ever, I trusted her and told her all my secrets. We used to be joined to the hip like a Siamese twins. I miss her so much, but I don't know if I could ever forgive her. Pardon my looong comment. I love writing and think the internet as a good medium to practice my English...also to channel my frustrations/feelings.😂 No matter that no one would ever gonna read this gibberish. ❤
I enjoyed your story sis! Im INFP and really understand your feeling. Yeahh, once we said goodbye, there's no more chance to them. And i have experienced about love this year and totally blinded by it😂 (just like you said it up there). Like im become soooo obsessed, turned to different person. At the end, im hurting myself, my heart, physical and mostly mental. Sometimes i feel want to die but what a waste when i still have parent that i love eventhough havent communicate with them always. I hate overthinking. Omggg, sorry for the ranting 😂😂Btw, Dont give up dear! 🌸
*Lady Voldemort* hi there, I understand all your experience.INFP here learning about this , I always thought my way of falling blindly in love was because of my moon In piscis. Sending you all my good vibes 💕💕 take care💚
Hi infj here infps do have a tendency to get blindsided just like INFJs do when we love someone we romanticize things a lot and we love with our whole Hearts so we are willing to overlook a lot we see the possibility of what the person could be more than what they are you guys do that more than we do once we get hurt infj are a lot more likely to be skeptical and take a look at it objectively without emotion we're actually bad matches for each other infj one of our men functions is making sure everyone's needs are met and you guys have a tendency to make sure our needs are met which we don't do a lot of the time were some of the worst or not making sure our own needs are met cuz you want to make sure the people are taken care of and do you want to make sure they're being authentic see you fall in love with your husband those people about the goodness a lot of INFJs inhabitants you need to be pulled out of their shell make them off attic but you guys can't do that we make a really good match actually I'm actually considering getting in a relationship with an infp right now and I have another friend that's an infj that is in love with an infp right now we fall for you guys hard
You can't blame yourself for being conned by covert narcissists. What you can do is learn a spiritual lesson so you can discern between healthy people and toxic people, I suggest reading a book called 'Psychopath Free" ~INFJ-A
Another INTP chiming in. Radical honesty is a need for me in friendships, not merely romantic relationships, and this is different from withholding info. I feel a distancing with people that is proportional to how much propriety forces me to reserve my thoughts/feelings, given that outright lying is a huge no-no with anyone, friend or not. Dishonesty feels terrible, like shattering reality, and thus I avoid it as much as possible.
Yes, yes to the allowance of radical honesty equaling fondness, says this INTP. Another way I definately show affection is by being non-judgemental and allowing the other their personal growth. Very interesting to see the other types broken down. I see my ISFJ mom and my ISTJ ex in these descriptions and this was a fascinating podcast.
I'm an INFP. So my secondary Cognitive function is Exploitation ( Extroverted Intuition /Ne). I use to always ask people "What if" questions but people always ignore the what if part , by saying a situation in whatever question I ask can never happen
hey guys , you're doing good work here i want to make two observations : 1) the idea of giving nicknames to cognitive functions is very good ; everybody already knows the definition of these words as opposed to the theoretical definition of functions , like " introverted thinking " this helped me finally have a clear sharp lightweight mental representation of these functions , so this is the first time i could easily follow the logic of an MBTI theoretical presentation this is the first time an MBTI lecture had a math class rigourousness feeling to it , as opposed to the " cheap voodoo hustle " feel i got until now so i think this helps other people too 2) you should modify the video attached to the presentation ; keep it lightweight , but put a succesion of pictures with say , different images and titles that correlate with the different sections of the lecture , like " how do TJ's express love " when you talk about it this would make the video easy to follow and navigate - like going back and forth between sections in order to make comparisons etc so you see my advice is about you being effective , making sense , thus being trustworthy :) bye , guys
ENFJ here. I have been deep diving into MBTI for quite some time and just discovered your podcast recently. You approach it all from such a great and well researched angle that I am actually learning new things and having new insights about myself and my loved ones. Thanks for all the work you do to make the presentation great!
All you have to do is slide the bar to fast forward and figure out which one of four they are referring to. Half the time it will be you and your husband's type. Not a big deal.
INFJ here, yes very service oriented...do, give, prefer others over myself... that's how I show and receive love. But I'm terrible at receiving positive feedback compliments and I don't hear I love you's unless there's corresponding action.
oh wow, this was soooooo, wonderful to listen to. I feel so affirmed by it. you have really nailed it and it helped me understand my behaviours in relationships. I'm an ENTP and could not see myself more clearly in this. and then maybe identify past boyfriends and get what was going on. fantastic, and not the first video of yours I've really liked.
This is both super helpful and simultaneously crazy making to me. I literally feel All 4 quite honestly and in a balanced way. Is anyone else feeling All of the Above ?
So true. As an istp,the more interested I am in the person, the more questions I'll ask. And sometimes I feel like they think I'm encroaching their space ,but it's actually because I want to know everything about them,so that I can understand them on a deeper level. And it takes effort to really get to know a person, so we reserve that for the people.we value. And that feedback thing though, super accurate .... very well put.
This is great... It now makes sense of my relationships. I feel relieved about some unanswered questions and you were quite accurate on the TJ itch. Thanks
As an Fe user, I learned not to meddle too much on other people’s businesses. This way I show that I trust them that they can do it and I also see that as a form of love. Sometimes I know how other people feel based on words or body language. But I tend to make them say things themselves and not to be a know-it-all; I show patience and a listening ear for them to say things themselves. I believe that when people take the step to be courageous, that is also fulfilling in itself for themselves and they can also feel good about themselves as well as towards me because I made them do it; albeit a challenging hump.
8:44 Omg I was just think about this earlier like “I just want someone to check up on me like how I check up on them” and it hurts. I thought I was asking for too much but this video validates my feelings. Thank you!
26:27 You're the first person I've ever heard that also thinks this. I use to love the saying "Actions speak louder than words", but then I realized how both of those are irrelevant and it's the intention that matters.
For an INTJ, it's not to boast that "we got the best" partner. I think it's more of an admiration that they feel on that moment that they share to other persons the achievements of their loved ones. It's more of the emotion they are feeling. For example, when an INTJ's son received an award in school, he shares a lot of things how his son eventually got this award and how the INTJ has shown support. That's also the same for their partners. It is not showing other people by screaming "I got the best". Giving information on how to get the "best person" or how to be the best person is what the INTJ is more focused on. We already know deep inside if our loved ones are brilliant. If not, we make sure they know it.
I tend to disagree with authenticity called genuine over FJ. INFJ’s have the most utmost integrity over all other types. The FJ’s I have encountered are most genuine and honest folks I have been around..
As an ENTP... seeking feedback for performance is based on the effort I put into something I dont usually do or am just starting to do or learning to improve on. If it's something I have down and have done dozens of times and done it well... then praising that would feel belittling to me. Kind of like praising a 5 year old for going to the potty when they've been potty trained since they were 2. It feels like an insult.
As an INTP my ISTJ boyfriend was too happy when he relyed on me, and I did well. However, he continued relying on me without putting a strong effort from his side. He was an ISTJ when it comes to his work, his responsibilities but there was never an EXTRA to that.. the flavour was gone..
I never cook. You BETTER like it. And praise me. 😁 Oh and from 🇫🇮- definetely know how to drive on snow/ice/whatever.💪🏻☃️(in case anyone didn't get it; entp)
Infp-t 4 and my bf entj-a 8 He says me more i love thank me, i love hem a lot( but dont wanna always the only 3 words, describe my feeling in bakel 3 words is to difficult and to short for me, i chose to say i love otter say than 3 words, sometimes i do this on emotions or just back to let ree that i love hem too(because dont want to feel hem like i dont love hem and me like i dont say same to hem i am bad) but i write sometimes short poetry,kindness, songs that say everything for me or do otter thing and undestend and forgive him if he hurt me with words) just because i love him and wanna be with him no letter how many difficulties we have,we some thrue this(because we have rest other) and if he or i ever lose love,i did take promise that we try en again and again.
What of you're with an ISFJ Fe user who skips their auxiliary function (Fe)? At least with me. Does this mean this person doesn't really care about/value me? Comes off more SiTiFeNe.
I hate so say this, but XXTJ types just seem to be a bit soulless. I respect their drive but it seems they have no desire to know the inner person or genuinely care for them. It seems a bit robotic and selfish. Have I got this wrong?
I think INTJs are very similar to INFPs when it comes to our emotions. We never tell anyone, plus we are introverts, so we actually dont really care to tell anyone either. Unless we absolutely trust them.
My husband is an ESTJ and I wouldn't say he's soulless, just not good at expressing his deep feelings unless he's angry since he holds things in in general. He's very driven and can act selfish in my opinion. It's like his mind is driven by a motor and he thrives on productivity but it really aggravates me because he doesn't seem to remember that not everybody thinks and does things exactly like him. I can understand where he's coming from and admire his energy levels and drive but he becomes so demanding throwing his demands my way on what needs to be done and how things should be done. If I try 2 bring up and idea on how to do something he gets frustrated because he knows best and knows what works. He thinks I make things complicated with my creativity and comes off rude. Learning about his personality type as well as mine has helped me understand and it has helps me understand how to get through to him. It has shaved a little bit of the edge off knowing that a lot of the way he is is part of his personality but that does not give him the right to be bossy. He loves control over things as far as thinks he wants to do in doesn't want any help unless he asks. He doesn't control me but needs to be in control of the environment in that's where we Clash. He's very black or white and I am black and white with all the gray in between. His Drive is something I admire and I wish I could be that way more often but he sees when I need space or to sit for a minute. I am being lazy when I am actually processing things. On top of this I have inattentive ADD, diagnosed. He has hyperactive add. I am impatient when it comes to him quizzing me on when XYZ is going to happen it's not any controlling way but it seems like his antennas are always on high alert needing to know what's happening next and next and next. This makes me on edge because sometimes I don't want to have a plan. He's very spontaneous people can call him that there's a barbecue and he's jumping on it while I don't like being around these people all the time. he's always saying you should do this or you should do that or you should think this way or that way Or not make a big deal. And what I'm referring to as in big deal, is for example, he gets a call where we are invited to go to the lake or barbecue with his relatives and a few close friends of his. I have told him over and over again the I don't like last-minute things because I like to have time to get ready and not rush. And then he turns around and says it's not a big deal, just do it. But for me I like to look presentable when we do things like this. And as a stay-at-home mom I am not the type of pinterest-worthy mom ready to go anywhere at the drop of the dime except for the kids doctors LOL I feel like he takes it personal that I love to sit outside on our beautiful patio and I love, love love to read. 99% of the time I do reading on my phone either books or online reading stuff like personality types. So I wouldn't say he is soulless it's just that his emotional intelligence inability to relate to others or feel with them is is not expressed externally often. He is very logical and again I admire that. He has goals and he hits them big and small it makes it look easy but me, I am not lazy but I like to do things efficiently and I hate rushing. He is the meaning of Nike's slogan, just do it. I stress very easily and get anxiety if I am smothered or my environment is very loud or I can't think. noise doesn't bother him a bit. Another thing is he thinks I am too sensitive and I tell him I take that as a compliment. I am very in tune to my emotional and physical environment as well as other people's moods. I feel he is more in tune with his emotions internally based on If there is clutter or not. Being an ESTJ Just like any other personality type has its blessings and its curses. but no two are alike like a bunch of cookies laying on a baking pan. You can't make blanket statements As if every ESTJ is the same. I know it sounds like I am pointing out the negative, but based on the first comment in this thread I am answering it from a perspective on y people can probably perceive them as soulless. Also everybody comes from different cultures and backgrounds in some people also have things like ADHD which can make things run deeper regardless of what personality type. I am an infp, I took the, I took the test four different times at different times and three out of four times I got infp. One time I got ENFP. I consider myself an ambivert. and what's crazy is I know my husband and I, our personalities are completely opposite, as in our cognitive functions are the same but ours are Completely in reverse. Like mine is ABCD, and his is dcba. I was using voice text so I am sorry for any typos and I know this was long but I tend to vomit my thoughts when it comes to something like this. Especially when it might help somebody else.
@@fredsas12 excuse any typos, I am using voice text And it likes to get drunk on me. I am an INFP, I have taken the test, the long one four times in three out of the four times I got INFP. Anyways, 1 time I got ENFP. I really think the mood I was in is why I got different answers. I would not consider myself completely introverted, I would say I am an ambivert. I love to share my feelings and thoughts and conversations when I am able to have a smooth conversation that just flows, the kind of conversation we're time passes and you're like damn. I don't like small talk because the classic tell me about yourself, I don't think there's much to say about myself besides the fact that I am a mom and I'm from Texas, blah blah blah. I might come off as very boring. But what gets me going is deeper subjects, the best ones are the weird ones where we laugh and say how the hell did we get to this subject? LOL. And it's not in a selfish way that I want to share my thoughts, it's just that I like having conversations with people that I find interesting? I am very intuitive and I can tell within the first minute of meeting someone if they are fake, a narcissist, or just an all-around good person which I truly identify with. Small talk to me is so boring oh, it's almost like a job interview. I can smell BS from a mile away. I'm very good at blending in with the people I am around because I am a chameleon but at the same time it's not like I'm showing the fake side of me. I am like a kaleidoscope. And I actually love sharing my feelings, even the Deep ones with people that I am able to just talk with. There are few people in general that I can just have a flowy conversation with. Without judgment or anyting. the times I don't share my feelings as when I know they won't be heard or will be a waste of time, or if I can tell the person it's not interested in what we're talkin about or if they are just listening on how to respond. But I think is cool about me, and I am not saying this in a conceited way, because I am not. I think one of my gifts is that I can have a conversation with someone who has totally opposite beliefs that I do or opinions, and understand where they are coming from even if I don't agree. I'm talking people that hate talking about subjects like religion or brushing the surface of political beliefs. But these people will open up to me and still have the same respect for me after the conversation. I think people are really cool in general. People might think I'm shy but I am not, introvert does not mean shy. If I am quiet it is just because I am listening and I like to people watch. and when I find that person that I just click with at a party or something, or even that the grocery store during a 5-minute conversation at checkout, I love it. I know I run Barry deep but I honestly have the hardest time answering basic questions about myself. my answer is randomly come out and people learn about me when we are talking about random things. I would say I am very intelligent and creative but I am not a know-it-all. However, I do know a lot of things about random things, even pointless things. If I were to talk to somebody about the Myers-Briggs personality, many people wouldn't know what the heck I am talking about. Thanks to late night Google searches when I have time to myself, I can tell you a few things about space, how to highlight your own hair down to things where people would look at me like I am plain weird LOL like how earthworms reproduce or something after being at the park that day seeing worms wrapped around each other. I'll be like what are they doing, and then Google here I come... LOL and no I haven't actually looked that up and don't intend to... well, maybe?
ENTJ here. I understand this so well !! I’m glad you asked. I recently thought this. I am very in touch with my feelings and emotions but the way I convey it doesnt translate to others as it is for me. I recently wondered if I care about others but of course I do! They just don’t see it the way I do. So I am now considering this when entering a new relationship to help create a deeper connection.
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Thank you for watching. If you found this valuable - would you take a moment to like & subscribe... then share this with someone you think would enjoy this conversation. Thanks. 🙂 Also - you can come over and take a free personality test here: www.personalityhacker.com/genius-personality-test
6:04 - FJ
21:19 - FP
37:24 - TJ
1:00:46 - TP
1:21:20 - conclusion
Love people like u
Thank you! You are a scholar and a gentleman... or gentle lady.
Thank you
Thank you!
Well done👍🏾
Fi user (infp) here in a relationship with a Fe user (infj). I had to laugh with recognition. A slice of dialogue:
Often when I say something kind and appreciative to her she responds with: 'oh, that is so sweet of you to say/notice that!'
I tend to be slightly confused and automaticaly respond: 'but it's true, that's what I feel/think… just speaking the truth here'
She then smiles and says: 'it's so kind of you to take the effort to express it, though;'
What initially confuses me is that I wouldn't show appreciation if I didn't mean it. It's less about being kind for me. Even though I noticed people seem to really like it when you say something appreciative/positive that you genuinly mean. So I try to it do as much as possible. :)
Ssweeet
Fi user here too. ENFP. I couldn’t relate more! I have no intention of being “sweet”. I have no intention at all. I’m just making an observation.
Conversely, the Fe person will say something like, “you’re so great!” And I feel confused/disoriented. I’ll be like, “Um, can I help you?”
“Did you need something?”
“Did I just say or do something that was meaningful?”
And they’re all smiley and like, “no, you’re just the best!”
Then I think of some things I need to go do right now, like go to the bathroom or something. Cause I have found myself a foreigner in the land of Fe, and I don’t speak the language.
@@heartpoint5289 cool!?!
@@heartpoint5289 Thats spot on! It's indeed observational: more like reporting on your current state of mind. And that raport just happens to be making the other person feel good. It wasn't intended as such.
I'm not sure if this is a thing, but high Fe users seem to be silently (or not so silently) looking for confirmation that they are making you feel good. They are often taken for granted, with their naturally warm and giving nature. So when you make casual but genuine remarks about how you appreciate something they did - or better: how you appreciate them as a person - they get all excited and gratefull. Anyways, that's my take on it. :)
😅
INFJ here. Spot on. My love language is Acts of Service with Quality time as a strong 2nd. Thank you. 🌞
FJ Types (HARMONY) begin at 6:03
FP Types (AUTHENTICITY) begin at 21:20
TJ type (EFFECTIVENESS) begin at 37:22
😊
What’s the TP?! 🤥
Here is a story of an INFP.
I easily got crushes with boys in my teenage years (never acted on it, just in my imagination), but I only genuinely fell in love once...with my ex husband of 12 years. It wasn't an instant "love at the first sight" for me, we were only friends at first. But when I slowly learned all his sweet sides, he got my heart and got me said "I do" and I am loyal 100% and dedicated my life to serve him, thinking that we will be forever, growing old and die together.
I trusted him 100%, never nagged on small things (even though sometimes we lived in poverty), worshipped the man and expressed my love to him every minute every day (with words and cooking, massages, made everything for him special, anything he asked...I even became the breadwinner because he had always jumped from jobs to jobs--or got fired. I wanted to support all his dreams, and boy he had so many dreams).
Our sappy romantic marriage maybe seems a little bit too clingy and gagging for many people (some of my friends and families complained). But I loved him to the moon and back and sacrificed a lot of things for his demands, from my education plans (I have bachelor degrees, he was a highschool do), my personal dreams and goals, my jobs, my hometown, even my parents and my religion. We went through the lost of our baby, lost both my ovaries, lost our possessions, and countless pennyless/jobless moments. But I always thought we had a happy life...because we had each other. What an illusion.
Too bad he was a "living in the moment" guy who had never be able to say no to any girl who gave him the slightest of interest (he was addicted to internet (sex) chat rooms). He became secretive, and I became insecure. When I finally found out that he'd slept with my (ex) bestest friend since childhood, I could no longer take it and decided to divorce him. I've accepted all his shortages, but *dishonesty, disloyalty, and manipulations* combo were the deal-breakers for me. He broke my heart so badly, got me into deep depression, I can't function for months and got me lost my restaurant business, house, health, etc.
Now I think I'm done. I think I don't want to trust, fall in love, or get married again. I've spent too much time taking care of someone who didn't really appreciate me, I forgot to take care of myself. And I'm too blind to see it until it was too late, until I was too old. 😂
So I think INFPs are the blind fools. When we're in love, we're looking at the world with sparkling, pink lenses, and could easily get manipulated because we set aside our instinct and negative feelings over our naive trust to our loved ones. It was a VERY hurtful, devastating, and traumatic experience I never want another INFPs (or any other sensitive/feeling types) to get through.
My ex husband was an ISTP. I would always adore and miss his cool stance, odd sense of humor, shy sweet smiles, level headedness, practicality, and skillful hands. We had a peaceful separation, and still good friends now. I still love him even after three years, but not head over heels in love with him anymore. I think I will always love him and reminisce on our sweet memories forever. He still asking to go back together, but I always said no. *Once an INFP said goodbye, unfortunately, it would be forever.*
My ex bestest friend was an ESFP. She's my closest friend ever, I trusted her and told her all my secrets. We used to be joined to the hip like a Siamese twins. I miss her so much, but I don't know if I could ever forgive her.
Pardon my looong comment. I love writing and think the internet as a good medium to practice my English...also to channel my frustrations/feelings.😂 No matter that no one would ever gonna read this gibberish. ❤
I enjoyed your story sis! Im INFP and really understand your feeling. Yeahh, once we said goodbye, there's no more chance to them. And i have experienced about love this year and totally blinded by it😂 (just like you said it up there). Like im become soooo obsessed, turned to different person. At the end, im hurting myself, my heart, physical and mostly mental. Sometimes i feel want to die but what a waste when i still have parent that i love eventhough havent communicate with them always. I hate overthinking. Omggg, sorry for the ranting 😂😂Btw, Dont give up dear! 🌸
*Lady Voldemort* hi there, I understand all your experience.INFP here learning about this , I always thought my way of falling blindly in love was because of my moon In piscis. Sending you all my good vibes 💕💕 take care💚
Hi infj here infps do have a tendency to get blindsided just like INFJs do when we love someone we romanticize things a lot and we love with our whole Hearts so we are willing to overlook a lot we see the possibility of what the person could be more than what they are you guys do that more than we do once we get hurt infj are a lot more likely to be skeptical and take a look at it objectively without emotion we're actually bad matches for each other infj one of our men functions is making sure everyone's needs are met and you guys have a tendency to make sure our needs are met which we don't do a lot of the time were some of the worst or not making sure our own needs are met cuz you want to make sure the people are taken care of and do you want to make sure they're being authentic see you fall in love with your husband those people about the goodness a lot of INFJs inhabitants you need to be pulled out of their shell make them off attic but you guys can't do that we make a really good match actually I'm actually considering getting in a relationship with an infp right now and I have another friend that's an infj that is in love with an infp right now we fall for you guys hard
💔xx
You can't blame yourself for being conned by covert narcissists.
What you can do is learn a spiritual lesson so you can discern between healthy people and toxic people, I suggest reading a book called 'Psychopath Free"
~INFJ-A
Another INTP chiming in. Radical honesty is a need for me in friendships, not merely romantic relationships, and this is different from withholding info. I feel a distancing with people that is proportional to how much propriety forces me to reserve my thoughts/feelings, given that outright lying is a huge no-no with anyone, friend or not. Dishonesty feels terrible, like shattering reality, and thus I avoid it as much as possible.
This is a true goldmine of advice.
As 'n INFJ, it's further defined what I need and why I express love the way I do.
Yes, yes to the allowance of radical honesty equaling fondness, says this INTP. Another way I definately show affection is by being non-judgemental and allowing the other their personal growth. Very interesting to see the other types broken down. I see my ISFJ mom and my ISTJ ex in these descriptions and this was a fascinating podcast.
I'm an INFP. So my secondary Cognitive function is Exploitation ( Extroverted Intuition /Ne). I use to always ask people "What if" questions but people always ignore the what if part , by saying a situation in whatever question I ask can never happen
"What makes sense?"
Your analysis for TP types makes sense. But me watching this video at 3am doesn't make sense.
: INTP here.
That makes perfect sense. INTP here also
Had such a thought at 1:41 AM here in Canada... can barely keep my eyes open yet can't tear myself away...
@@dallasthornley free spirit...
hey guys , you're doing good work here
i want to make two observations :
1) the idea of giving nicknames to cognitive functions is very good ; everybody already knows the definition of these words as opposed to the theoretical definition of functions , like " introverted thinking "
this helped me finally have a clear sharp lightweight mental representation of these functions , so this is the first time i could easily follow the logic of an MBTI theoretical presentation
this is the first time an MBTI lecture had a math class rigourousness feeling to it , as opposed to the " cheap voodoo hustle " feel i got until now
so i think this helps other people too
2) you should modify the video attached to the presentation ; keep it lightweight , but put a succesion of pictures with say , different images and titles that correlate with the different sections of the lecture , like " how do TJ's express love " when you talk about it
this would make the video easy to follow and navigate - like going back and forth between sections in order to make comparisons etc
so you see my advice is about you being effective , making sense , thus being trustworthy :)
bye , guys
This is excellent advice. I wholeheartedly agree!
ENFJ here. I have been deep diving into MBTI for quite some time and just discovered your podcast recently. You approach it all from such a great and well researched angle that I am actually learning new things and having new insights about myself and my loved ones. Thanks for all the work you do to make the presentation great!
Lol, hello!
@@Melissa_ann972 😄
I wish you could provide timestamps for each type. I just want to hear me and my husband's type vs having to hear the whole thing
Eileen Fuentes just did
personalityhacker.com/podcast-episode-0106-how-types-say-i-love-you/
TJ? 🤣
All you have to do is slide the bar to fast forward and figure out which one of four they are referring to. Half the time it will be you and your husband's type. Not a big deal.
INFJ here, yes very service oriented...do, give, prefer others over myself... that's how I show and receive love. But I'm terrible at receiving positive feedback compliments and I don't hear I love you's unless there's corresponding action.
"Knocking the taco out of somebody´s hand" such a good analogy
oh wow, this was soooooo, wonderful to listen to. I feel so affirmed by it. you have really nailed it and it helped me understand my behaviours in relationships. I'm an ENTP and could not see myself more clearly in this. and then maybe identify past boyfriends and get what was going on. fantastic, and not the first video of yours I've really liked.
This is both super helpful and simultaneously crazy making to me. I literally feel All 4 quite honestly and in a balanced way. Is anyone else feeling All of the Above ?
So true. As an istp,the more interested I am in the person, the more questions I'll ask. And sometimes I feel like they think I'm encroaching their space ,but it's actually because I want to know everything about them,so that I can understand them on a deeper level. And it takes effort to really get to know a person, so we reserve that for the people.we value. And that feedback thing though, super accurate .... very well put.
How many have asked if you worked for the CIA?
THANK YOU! 🙏🏼 TH!S is one of the most important and precious Podcast episodes to hear for improving relationships. 🥰
I honestly can say that I am All of the Above, in a balanced way. Anyone else?
A book that I highly recommend for Fe users: The Courage to be Disliked by Kishimi Koga. A great one.
This is great...
It now makes sense of my relationships. I feel relieved about some unanswered questions and you were quite accurate on the TJ itch. Thanks
The FP part is scarily accurate...like you're in my head. Creepy. Love it lol
As an Fe user, I learned not to meddle too much on other people’s businesses. This way I show that I trust them that they can do it and I also see that as a form of love. Sometimes I know how other people feel based on words or body language. But I tend to make them say things themselves and not to be a know-it-all; I show patience and a listening ear for them to say things themselves. I believe that when people take the step to be courageous, that is also fulfilling in itself for themselves and they can also feel good about themselves as well as towards me because I made them do it; albeit a challenging hump.
I"m such a "want to know how you operate" person. I'm such an INTJ. I've actually used the term "Operate"
Thank you, this makes total sense and really helped me understand !
This was very enlightening. Thank you so much.
as an isfj this was really accurate!
This is brilliant, really hits the nail on the head. ENFJ
8:44
Omg I was just think about this earlier like “I just want someone to check up on me like how I check up on them” and it hurts. I thought I was asking for too much but this video validates my feelings. Thank you!
26:27
You're the first person I've ever heard that also thinks this. I use to love the saying "Actions speak louder than words", but then I realized how both of those are irrelevant and it's the intention that matters.
As an INTJ, I've heard more useful approaches to this topic...
Moving on.
this made so much sense.
I love this podcast so much.
For an INTJ, it's not to boast that "we got the best" partner. I think it's more of an admiration that they feel on that moment that they share to other persons the achievements of their loved ones. It's more of the emotion they are feeling. For example, when an INTJ's son received an award in school, he shares a lot of things how his son eventually got this award and how the INTJ has shown support. That's also the same for their partners. It is not showing other people by screaming "I got the best". Giving information on how to get the "best person" or how to be the best person is what the INTJ is more focused on. We already know deep inside if our loved ones are brilliant. If not, we make sure they know it.
Accurate, says the INTP :)
Thank you for this valuable information!!!
joel and antonia, thank you so much!
I tend to disagree with authenticity called genuine over FJ. INFJ’s have the most utmost integrity over all other types. The FJ’s I have encountered are most genuine and honest folks I have been around..
You are Missing the point here....
Do some follow up work on the cognitive functions.
After learning all my family's type, I figured out that they don't actually love me that much...
I’m getting chills accurAcy user
Bruh...I'm an INFP, and this is the second video this week that I found to be published on my bday last year.....what kind of luck is this...?
As an ENTP... seeking feedback for performance is based on the effort I put into something I dont usually do or am just starting to do or learning to improve on. If it's something I have down and have done dozens of times and done it well... then praising that would feel belittling to me. Kind of like praising a 5 year old for going to the potty when they've been potty trained since they were 2. It feels like an insult.
Scrolling the comments and not finding time stamps 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄😭
Lol
Are you guys psychologists? I say that because you guys were spot on with my personality type..
You guys are awesome! I love your channel! The way you guys deliver this content is very tier 2 SD stage yellow!👍😄
As an INTP my ISTJ boyfriend was too happy when he relyed on me, and I did well. However, he continued relying on me without putting a strong effort from his side. He was an ISTJ when it comes to his work, his responsibilities but there was never an EXTRA to that.. the flavour was gone..
Oh! Did i ever slap that taco out of someone's hand this very day... wow!
I never cook. You BETTER like it. And praise me. 😁 Oh and from 🇫🇮- definetely know how to drive on snow/ice/whatever.💪🏻☃️(in case anyone didn't get it; entp)
Infp-t 4 and my bf entj-a 8
He says me more i love thank me, i love hem a lot( but dont wanna always the only 3 words, describe my feeling in bakel 3 words is to difficult and to short for me, i chose to say i love otter say than 3 words, sometimes i do this on emotions or just back to let ree that i love hem too(because dont want to feel hem like i dont love hem and me like i dont say same to hem i am bad) but i write sometimes short poetry,kindness, songs that say everything for me or do otter thing and undestend and forgive him if he hurt me with words) just because i love him and wanna be with him no letter how many difficulties we have,we some thrue this(because we have rest other) and if he or i ever lose love,i did take promise that we try en again and again.
This is amazingly helpful!! INFP pertnered with an ENTP... I see it now!
if anyone says they love me, ill just be like "ok" and dissapear into the void
Enfp female here !!! I have an intj bf.here he told me he loved me.amd.then went hay wire????
I cried at 28:38
What is the burden that the partner to the TP alleviate?
What of you're with an ISFJ Fe user who skips their auxiliary function (Fe)? At least with me. Does this mean this person doesn't really care about/value me? Comes off more SiTiFeNe.
What about se si ne ni
I hate so say this, but XXTJ types just seem to be a bit soulless. I respect their drive but it seems they have no desire to know the inner person or genuinely care for them. It seems a bit robotic and selfish. Have I got this wrong?
Yes. I don’t know about the other types but us INTJs tend to experience deep emotion, perhaps deeper than most types.
I think INTJs are very similar to INFPs when it comes to our emotions. We never tell anyone, plus we are introverts, so we actually dont really care to tell anyone either. Unless we absolutely trust them.
My husband is an ESTJ and I wouldn't say he's soulless, just not good at expressing his deep feelings unless he's angry since he holds things in in general. He's very driven and can act selfish in my opinion. It's like his mind is driven by a motor and he thrives on productivity but it really aggravates me because he doesn't seem to remember that not everybody thinks and does things exactly like him. I can understand where he's coming from and admire his energy levels and drive but he becomes so demanding throwing his demands my way on what needs to be done and how things should be done. If I try 2 bring up and idea on how to do something he gets frustrated because he knows best and knows what works. He thinks I make things complicated with my creativity and comes off rude. Learning about his personality type as well as mine has helped me understand and it has helps me understand how to get through to him. It has shaved a little bit of the edge off knowing that a lot of the way he is is part of his personality but that does not give him the right to be bossy. He loves control over things as far as thinks he wants to do in doesn't want any help unless he asks. He doesn't control me but needs to be in control of the environment in that's where we Clash. He's very black or white and I am black and white with all the gray in between. His Drive is something I admire and I wish I could be that way more often but he sees when I need space or to sit for a minute. I am being lazy when I am actually processing things. On top of this I have inattentive ADD, diagnosed. He has hyperactive add. I am impatient when it comes to him quizzing me on when XYZ is going to happen it's not any controlling way but it seems like his antennas are always on high alert needing to know what's happening next and next and next. This makes me on edge because sometimes I don't want to have a plan. He's very spontaneous people can call him that there's a barbecue and he's jumping on it while I don't like being around these people all the time. he's always saying you should do this or you should do that or you should think this way or that way Or not make a big deal. And what I'm referring to as in big deal, is for example, he gets a call where we are invited to go to the lake or barbecue with his relatives and a few close friends of his. I have told him over and over again the I don't like last-minute things because I like to have time to get ready and not rush. And then he turns around and says it's not a big deal, just do it. But for me I like to look presentable when we do things like this. And as a stay-at-home mom I am not the type of pinterest-worthy mom ready to go anywhere at the drop of the dime except for the kids doctors LOL I feel like he takes it personal that I love to sit outside on our beautiful patio and I love, love love to read. 99% of the time I do reading on my phone either books or online reading stuff like personality types. So I wouldn't say he is soulless it's just that his emotional intelligence inability to relate to others or feel with them is is not expressed externally often. He is very logical and again I admire that. He has goals and he hits them big and small it makes it look easy but me, I am not lazy but I like to do things efficiently and I hate rushing. He is the meaning of Nike's slogan, just do it. I stress very easily and get anxiety if I am smothered or my environment is very loud or I can't think. noise doesn't bother him a bit. Another thing is he thinks I am too sensitive and I tell him I take that as a compliment. I am very in tune to my emotional and physical environment as well as other people's moods. I feel he is more in tune with his emotions internally based on If there is clutter or not. Being an ESTJ Just like any other personality type has its blessings and its curses. but no two are alike like a bunch of cookies laying on a baking pan. You can't make blanket statements As if every ESTJ is the same. I know it sounds like I am pointing out the negative, but based on the first comment in this thread I am answering it from a perspective on y people can probably perceive them as soulless. Also everybody comes from different cultures and backgrounds in some people also have things like ADHD which can make things run deeper regardless of what personality type. I am an infp, I took the, I took the test four different times at different times and three out of four times I got infp. One time I got ENFP. I consider myself an ambivert. and what's crazy is I know my husband and I, our personalities are completely opposite, as in our cognitive functions are the same but ours are Completely in reverse. Like mine is ABCD, and his is dcba.
I was using voice text so I am sorry for any typos and I know this was long but I tend to vomit my thoughts when it comes to something like this. Especially when it might help somebody else.
@@fredsas12
excuse any typos, I am using voice text And it likes to get drunk on me. I am an INFP, I have taken the test, the long one four times in three out of the four times I got INFP. Anyways, 1 time I got ENFP. I really think the mood I was in is why I got different answers. I would not consider myself completely introverted, I would say I am an ambivert. I love to share my feelings and thoughts and conversations when I am able to have a smooth conversation that just flows, the kind of conversation we're time passes and you're like damn. I don't like small talk because the classic tell me about yourself, I don't think there's much to say about myself besides the fact that I am a mom and I'm from Texas, blah blah blah. I might come off as very boring. But what gets me going is deeper subjects, the best ones are the weird ones where we laugh and say how the hell did we get to this subject? LOL. And it's not in a selfish way that I want to share my thoughts, it's just that I like having conversations with people that I find interesting? I am very intuitive and I can tell within the first minute of meeting someone if they are fake, a narcissist, or just an all-around good person which I truly identify with. Small talk to me is so boring oh, it's almost like a job interview. I can smell BS from a mile away. I'm very good at blending in with the people I am around because I am a chameleon but at the same time it's not like I'm showing the fake side of me. I am like a kaleidoscope. And I actually love sharing my feelings, even the Deep ones with people that I am able to just talk with. There are few people in general that I can just have a flowy conversation with. Without judgment or anyting. the times I don't share my feelings as when I know they won't be heard or will be a waste of time, or if I can tell the person it's not interested in what we're talkin about or if they are just listening on how to respond. But I think is cool about me, and I am not saying this in a conceited way, because I am not. I think one of my gifts is that I can have a conversation with someone who has totally opposite beliefs that I do or opinions, and understand where they are coming from even if I don't agree. I'm talking people that hate talking about subjects like religion or brushing the surface of political beliefs. But these people will open up to me and still have the same respect for me after the conversation. I think people are really cool in general. People might think I'm shy but I am not, introvert does not mean shy. If I am quiet it is just because I am listening and I like to people watch. and when I find that person that I just click with at a party or something, or even that the grocery store during a 5-minute conversation at checkout, I love it. I know I run Barry deep but I honestly have the hardest time answering basic questions about myself. my answer is randomly come out and people learn about me when we are talking about random things. I would say I am very intelligent and creative but I am not a know-it-all. However, I do know a lot of things about random things, even pointless things. If I were to talk to somebody about the Myers-Briggs personality, many people wouldn't know what the heck I am talking about. Thanks to late night Google searches when I have time to myself, I can tell you a few things about space, how to highlight your own hair down to things where people would look at me like I am plain weird LOL like how earthworms reproduce or something after being at the park that day seeing worms wrapped around each other. I'll be like what are they doing, and then Google here I come... LOL and no I haven't actually looked that up and don't intend to... well, maybe?
ENTJ here. I understand this so well !! I’m glad you asked. I recently thought this. I am very in touch with my feelings and emotions but the way I convey it doesnt translate to others as it is for me. I recently wondered if I care about others but of course I do! They just don’t see it the way I do. So I am now considering this when entering a new relationship to help create a deeper connection.
Amazing
My sister is a nice person :)
Nothing real about the phrase "I love you."
Its a lie.
Bummer you feel that way. - Joel
When Enfp starts ? Haha
are you STILL waiting?!?!!?
37:36 INTJ, entj
Great