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Similar situation. My MIL has a problem with almost everything. She expects me to dress according to her choices. Has a problem seeing me with her son and the strange thing is has a problem with me spending time with my 3.5 month infant. Very intrusive and privacy invading. Tries to copy almost everything I wear and do. She is in her 50's but competes with me. So illogical
Thank you for this. I had a terrible day yesterday. My mother in law started crying yesterday. This is what happened: I had put vegetables in the cooker. And went to the living room. The cooker sarted whistling (while she was in the kitchen). she called me out and I answered back I am coming. When I got to the kitchen she said she was calling out to which I replied that I also said I am coming u did not hear it. To this she said I could not hear due to whistles. I said ok. Then she said I did not know what was in cooker. I said I put vegetables when you were standing right besides me, I thot u knew it. That's it! I went out of the kitchen. And then my husband calls me out and says mom is crying because you back answered her!!! I literally slapped myself with disbelief and anger and frustration....I feel like banging my head because my mil can get offended about anything and everything.....I feel like running away and never coming back to this place
Eighter she is literally that sensetive to what people say Or she is playing victim card or your way of communication can be new for them Moreover your husband should verify what happened? So i feel we all go wrong here, that we feel mil are torturing us.. But husband is the one who let her do that
My birthday was on yesterday , i forgot to say to her that his son brought a bday cake for me that's why she stopped talking and arguing to me on my special day ... I didn't even eat anything for dinner and breakfast because of that ... I am tired of this shit .. can't handle anymore... We can't have any privacy ... She is always with us even we can't go together anywhere if we did it she will start screen create....i wanna die
It took 14 years to understand gray rock method. Unknowingly I started applying that. Thanks to your video that I got to know this term. I have applied all the methods to my MIL. Now I had to skip the forgiving part. Because I am tired of her high end manipulations. She never leaves any stone unturned just to hurt me. I am stuck with a narcissist. She manipulates even house helps against me. Mentally I am just tired of running away from her. I am scared of her. She is a cold rock.
Actually my mother always used to find faults in my bhabhi, and i also took sides with my mother blindly but my bhabhi one day taught my mother a good lesson and now me and my bhabhi never allow her to criticize unnecessarily Actually my bhabhi is an independent girl, at first I used to think my bhabhi is agressive and dominating but later I realised that it that my mother used to snatch her freedom to do anything like going out for work, wearing pants and shirt, talking to her friends and even criticized her for less dowry Not making food all the tree times ,so later i realise that the dominating nature of my bhabhi is infact a good thing to teach a selfish lady as my mother So yes my bhabhi is a bit short tempered,she is a bit vocal and confident but she was not wrong and now she has no one against her as i fully support her ,i mean how can i not support her ,she changed my perspective towards women, opened my eyes and now each time she really give my mother a hard time whenever she pokes in her personal life
MIL poisoned my husband against me and convinced him to believe that I am his emotional and financial burden. I know as long as I stay with my husband, she wont give him any peace. Hence I decided to move to my parents house and would try my best to become financially independent. To me my independence and self respect is priority. Time is a healer they say. Perhaps it will heal the marriage sometime in future. If it doesn’t, it will hurt me greatly but eventually I have to keep moving forward for my parents’ sake and also myself.
@@naina763same my own parents deserted me .but thankfully my husband nd my baby are my strength.they are my happy place.neither my parents nor my in-laws ever helped me during my pregnancy and after pregnancy.and today i dnt give it a shit whether they are fine or not .karma
Mere mil ko to chance chahiye kb mere husband mze chillake bat kre muzpr gussa ho mere against kuch bole...aa jate hai bichme kudne aor mere flaws lekar😂😂😂😂...then I started saying my husband akele me mze chappal se mare to bhi chlega..is tarh se logo ke samne Jalil Mt Kiya Karo ..later he understood 😅😅😅
I am exactly doing the same thing as you mentioned in the video and trust me i am happy keeping distance and keeping conversation to the minimum with her(mil) and helped me lot instead of being with her i distract myself with watching videos or reading books...I am in peace now... 🙌
Lekin meri sans to apni beti ko bhagwan manti h meri nnd itni ameer h Or hm dono yha berozgaar h abhi fr bhi wo apni beti ko yha se itna deti h meri nand bhi lalchi h mujhe nhi pta mujhe bura kyu lgta h wo unki beti h dene do but fr bhi mujhe lgta h ki ye glt h pta nhi kya shi h kya glt mujhe to Meri nnd ameer hone ka ghmnd dikhata h mujhe ki mere pas to itne kpde h ye h wo h Or yha apni maa se le jati h itne sare suit vgra Kya kru m M glt hu kya??
I did this n i did succeeded....... please other womens follow this same rules...... u will be happy i swear ...... i hope all those womens who r suffering frm this will get more happy one day..... good luck 😘
Yes. All these points are correct. This is how I deal with my narcissist MIL. Even tho she is 95, the wickedness has only increased. Unfortunately, we are forced to live in the same house together. So I gray rock her, never tell her my plans, keep my answers short and non-committal and don't try to engage in any conversation except the bare minimum . I don't like being this way since I'm normally very empathetic and affectionate but I have to preserve my sanity and stop getting insulted for being good to her
I have been doing the same thing with my FIL for some time now, without realising there is proper term for this behaviour. He is growing worse day by day - constant comments, criticism, negativity is increasing.Though I do not react to his indirect remarks directly now(to not give him the satisfaction of riling me up), still those comments just keep on going through my mind all day. Also I since I now keep my interactions with them minimum, they pass comments on this as well that what am I so occupied with whole day that I can't even sit with them and talk. Please suggest how to not be affected by constant negativity they are throwing my way. I really want to be at peace mentally and not just pretend that I am at peace in front of them.
Maine aapka video dekhne se pehle hi ye sab kuch try kiya meri saas ne fir bhi mujhe itna torcher kiya ke mai apne bete ko bataungi tum bilkul baat nahi karti humre Kismat hi kharab thi ke hum sochte bahu ke aane se ghar me khushi hogi unho ne mujhe sab ke saamne disripect kiya mujh pe jhoote allegation lagaye mujhe unse nafrat si hogayi hai mai ne unke liye shadi se pehle bhi bohat kuch kiya ek waqt me mujhe unse bohat mohabbat thi even apni maa se bhi zyada par aaj me unko face bhi nahi karna chahti.
Bhut acha aur sahi bola aapne ....... Phele baar kisi lady ne bilkul perfectly kaha........ ❤❤ U r so intelligent and educated lady. ... Thank you so much mam❤🎉
Aisi mother in law meri bhi Hain or har baat PE jhooth bolna jasoosi karna sabki or sabko Shak ki nigah se dekhna garibo ko nokar samjhna buri tareeke se pesh ana ...even apne husband se bhi unki banti nahi or mere husband ko bhi manipulate karti Hain or agr vo sach ka sath dete hain to unko bhi sabki Nazar me gira deti Hain or emotional drama or fir nay jhooth ready ...jisse ki ghar ka mahol boht kharab hai ....or do beto me partiality karti hain ..mujhe samjh nhi ata mai deal kaise karoon... jaha meri soch khatm ho jati h waha se unka dimag chalna start hota h itna shatir dimag h ..
Exactly the same things my MIL doing with me. Thankfully I am working woman but my work is remote work and I do my office work from home. I have my sister in law (Devrani) she just gave a birth to baby. My mother in law everytime tried to down myself. I have seen she do the partially between me and my Devrani. She always praised her. When me and husband argue with eachother she always interfare. I always afraid because She always instigates my husband against me.
It's been 4.5 years of my marriage, and my MIL has been torturing me over good for nothing issues, similar to what is described in this video. At first, I used to go to my mother's house for a break from her, but unfortunately, my mother passed away, and now my home isn't the same without her, so now I mostly stay at my in laws only. For me, the feeling of acceptance did the trick. That, I have to live here and there is no other solution. I didn't know this "gray" rock term, but I had already started applying it. Today, my MIL remains the same, but I have learnt to ignore her playing the victim. She is sooo not part of my thoughts anymore, I keep myself so busy with work. Feels good actually. 😊
Hi sweetheart, I hope you are well. I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes me so happy for a stranger today that she is healing herself.. nobody can take a place of a mother in your life. Your mother is your mother and mother-in-law is always a mother-in-law. She can never be your mother. As I am writing this, I am trying to accept the things that you wrote over your commen. it’s been 10 months of my marriage, and my mother-in-law is giving me a very hard time, we are all in this together. You are not alone.
Just cut her off a d live separately with your husband . Stand up women for yourself . Husbands mother had come abroad to stay with us for months . Mentally tortured a pregnant lady . My husband didn’t take a stand . I left the house . And came back when they left . Now my husband learnt a lesson and tries to keep his mother and me as far as possible . Not only that she blocked my way and didn’t allow me to go out . I called the police complaints against her and stayed in a refuge
Its high time women learn to fight for themselves and defend their self respect...Nothing and no one is worth taking any form of abuse..sometimes you have to roar to make the enemy deaf 😅..If Mil is good n nice respect and love her by all means, but if she is torturing you do not take it lying down..what you tolerate will continue and no change will come. ..Married for 5 years n I don't give a rats ass if my husband's family likes me or not..But husband's support is very important without that it can be difficult and girls please speak to ur own family and don't hide from them .❤love n best wishes to all the tortured souls called "Daughter in laws"
@@pinazbharucha1306 women has all the right to live on her own terms with her husband, family should not interfere, couple should live independently to enjoy their personal freedom
Mere mil to apnea bete ko dekhte he muh banake Bolney lagti hain.itna natak karti hain..hamesha bimar hain thak gayi bolti hain aur har samay Kuch namaste kuch to khati rehti hain..aur Mera koi bhi kaam usko sahi nahi lagta..oh god I feel really tired..uska Sakal dekhte hi Mera palpitation suru Hota hain.plz help kya karung
Ur just superb …..just wow ..no words Mam…want to hug you for ur suggestions… I already follow all the suggestions which you mentioned in this video but I was in a doubt whether I chose right way or not.. Today after watching ur video.. am 100% confident and happy.. thank you soooo much for comforting me Mam which is really required for me at this point of time ..other important thing I want to share with you Mam.. this is the first review I ever gave in my life.. .RIGHT VIDEO AT RIGHT TIME GOOGLE SUGGESTED ME..TQ google..
My MIL is very diplomatic.She behaves completely different in front of my husband and FIL.I am married for three years and living together with my in laws.my SIL (jethani) lives away from us with her family but my mil keeps praising her about her cooking,job,nature, looks and so on like some goddess.She always makes calls to her and talks for hours to her before me.She never respected our privacy keeping an eye on our talks and plans.She has a habit of finding faults in everything i do and keep guiding me in front of everyone to look like how helping and understanding she is.
After reading so much of comments now i understand i m not the only person there are sm other womens also facing such problems. Feeling stable and calm after reading all experiences comparing mine. I m going through depression because of mother in laws behaviour. Today i just searched on youtube and i got my remedy which any psychologist can't understand and cure. Thank you so much to all these ladies to share their experiences and thank you dr meghna ji for this motivational video❤
Same here, it’s sad that we have to face such things in this century, in this modern times, but at the same time, it gives me a little bit of calmness that I am not alone in this. There are millions like me, who are facing the same issue at the same time.
Thanku sooooo much mam 💞😘, Mai xush ho geyi aapki tips soonkr , kyu ki mai yehi tips use kar rehi hu..so aapki tips soonkar our zyda himmot mil geyi.... Thank you 😊
Mene 8 saal jhel liya...taane, husband k sath chugli, mene decide kar liya hai ab me nahi reh skti... me ye ghar chod dungi bohot jald, bhale fir muje husband se dur q na rehna pade... isase jada mujse handle nahi ho raha,... mene apne aapko distract rakh kr b dekh liya,mene ignore kar k b dekh liya... tb vo mere husband ko mere hi saamne meri burayi aur complain karti hai
Log bolte hain ye maa baap se alg hogae jinhone itna kra pr ye nhi sochte k itna majbur krdia jata hai unhe alg hone k lie agr wo ache se reh le to koi kisi k lie bhoj nhi hoga sb mil jul k itne pyr se rhenge wo kyu nhi sochte thori umar reh hai aram se reh lo
That sounds 100% like my narcissist MIL. Tough as it may be, living separately with your husband is the only way to live in peace. Such women will never change. They're insanely jealous and will manipulate every thing, person and situation to suit themselves, others be damned
I live separately with my husband in another state, but she has the audacity to control me over phone from miles apart. She is so jealous if we go out somewhere. She would later tell me that we just cannot have fun like this. We have to think about them as well. I don’t know what that means, but it’s funny and frustrating at the same time. How do you deal with this? She is a blood sucking monster of a mother-in-law.
@@NPPREMA Good thing is that my husband knows everything about her behavior. I was always someone who wouldn't talk back and stay silent. But I have started doing so. Whenever I'd do that, she'd say ''tumko main acchi ladki samajhti thi'' Behen nahin banna hai aur accha. 😅
@@pratyashi191 same here. My husband is aware and he always has my back. In fact, he told me a very long time ago to keep only bare minimum communication with her, but fool that I was, I thought that I could win her with my care and attention. But now I hardly talk to her and never even stay in the same room . Peace (relatively) !
@@NPPREMA So glad it's finally working for you. It's just been 10 months of my marriage and I'm trying everyday. You are not alone in this. Don't worry. End mein aapke husband, aap aur aapke bacche ko he rehna hai. Patience is the key. I know it's very hard to deal with difficult people but it will also make us mentally very strong. Husband aapke saath hai toh kya he karr sakti hai wo. Take care. Be happy. You deserve it all. ❤️❤️
Mam mujhe shadi ko ek saal ho chuka hai..mere sath problem ye hai ki ...meri saas toxic hai...Mera mayke Jana ya bahar Jana bhot mushkil rehta hai....mai kahi ja a nahi skti.....or bhot si problem hain...lekin ye sbse zada mujhe preshan krti hai
This is what I had been trying to do - to try and stay aloof and now she complains to my husband that I don't talk to her much and that I don't put much effort in building the relationship😂
Dear women... You all are lovely and beautiful and very much self sufficient. There is nothing in the world that a woman cannot achieve. BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT. You all have your own parents to look after, your own beautiful lives. Care for those who value you, and distance yourself from those who don't value your individuality. Instead of staying in an unhappy marriage and dragging the relationship its better to realise the worth of our own lives, be financially independent and serve the country and others who most need it. Make a difference and remember we have every power to make the world a beautiful place. Please don't suffer.... Your life is precious, you are precious!!
Once I asked my mil, mom how was ur mil ? She said mil bhi kabhi achi hoti h kya😂😂😂...n I was in my mind like whattt😳...aap bhi toh mil hai matlab aap bhi achi nhi ho 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Husband sunke jb aapko kuch bole to husband ke sath bhi bhs mat kro wo jo bole chup chap sun lo kyuki wo saas husband ko sikha ke ldayi hone ka wait krti h
Avoiding the issues and keeping yourself shut off will not reduce stress, it will just reduce direct harassment. However problem will still remain. Unless you convince your husband to move out and take job in different city, you will not be happy - since MIL’s goal is to ensure your marriage will not be happy
Meri marriage ko 26 years ho chuke hain. Meri saas kahin jyada toxic hai. Itne years mein adjust karte karte meri health down ja rahi hai aur wo lady din pratidin strong hote ja rahi hai. Itni age hone par bhi wo bedroom, kitchen, pooja room sab mein full control rakhti hai. Wo har samay mere aur mere husband ke beech differences create karna chahati hai. Please someone help🙏 Grey rock method apply karne par bhi agar wo provoke kare aur relatives ke samne humiliate kare, to kaise situation handle karna chahiye??
Arrange marriage. Living w in laws. Yesterday i went home late , first time in 2 years. Dint inform her, but informed my husband about my status. I reached home, she started w giving me lil thing that u should have called and all. I said i told my husband. Later the argument escalated when she said kaha ghumri thi. I got mad and gave her back . Back n forth was happening. My husband dint tell her that she texted me n its fine. He went to bathroom. He dint respond when i called him out. After some 20 min argument, i had enough and told her that he is my husband , you are not my husband . I have informed home n i am not obligated to you. That was it. All the melodrama, calling my parent, crying, swearing what not happened. I said sorry in the end for my statement. But she blew things out of proportion . Situation is tensed at home. What am i suppose to do!
Ma'am mere husband 3 brothers hain sbse bade bhai aur mere husband married hain aur ek brother abhi shadi k liye ldki dekh rhe Hain meri saas aur jethani dono mil kr mujhe bohot mentally torture karte hain jethani ab alag kitchen m apna kaam krti h pr wo hamare kitchen m bhi interfere krti h fridge alag hone pr bhi hamara fridge use krti h meri saas use bohot support krti h aur mera moral hamesha down krne k koshish krti h mujhe kbhi support ni krti m depression m jati ja rahi hu jbki saas aur devar mere sath rhte hain aur devar ki shadi k baad bhi wo mere aur husband k sath rhne ki bolti h but mujhe hamesha pareshan krti hain aur mere muh pr jhoot bol deti hain mere husband meri nhi sunte unka gussa bohot tej hai hamari married life bohot jyada spoil ho rahi h mujhe smjh ni aa rha m kya kru jb wo mujhe psnd hi ni krti to kyu mera pichha ni chhodti meri jethani ko bohot jyada pyar krti h maid k trh se uske hr order ka agree krti h
Somehow so much related to my life. But too much extreme she keeps telling people I go out with men after my husband left for work or talk to men on laptop to create fights between me n my husband..I work so she even said if he let's me work I'll go away with some guy from office..she says I try to kill her n her son whenever she and her son have a fight. She even called the police on me saying i physically assaulted her just bcoz she and her son had a fight and wanted to punish me for it . But it was sorted because the neighbours gave a statement in my favour. I left that home and I am not in contact with my inlaws at all.. thankfully my husband is on my support and he knows his mom is wrong so he never asks me to keep contact with her n protects me.
Meri to MIL ne meri shadi hi tudwa di. Mere pati ko mere itne khilaf kar diya ki meri delivery ke 4th day hi pati chhod ke chla gya. Wo isi din ka intezar kar rahi thi or usne ye kar dikhaya. Pta nhi kya milta hai in MIL ko ye sab karke or apne hi bete ka ghar ujaad ke.
Apne karam khud dekhenge .......old age me jakr jo deadly bimariya lgti h logo ko ...aur woh saal-saal suffer karte h ...un sab ka yahi reason hota h .... I pray for you and your child 🙏 those who wronged you will be damned
Ma'am then I have question. Why we should live togather? Why family and society pressurize to be married. Why only girls have to go to their home? Because this negative ruis husband wife relationship also
Because Guy change life of hopeless female beggar by marrying but girl will not even look at them and a guy have to give up too much his money his home his business his cars etc wife don’t want to house chores even when they don’t do job just want to be lazy that’s all but guy still have them but Ladies can never handle to live with that kind of husband I have many more reasons if you’re nớt satisfied
One of my friend is in govt department n group a officer...n her MIL said hmara ehsaan maano naukri krne de rhe h. Un buri saaso m se nhi h jo bahu ko naukri krne nhi deti
Same here agar sath baitho bhi na taunts marte hai ,nicha dikhayenge .sorry to say but my in laws are very much toxic , ek ek din guzarna difficult hota ,I am scared kahin mujhe depression na ho jae.becoz bohot dukh hota hai jab har baar apko nicha dikhayenge .mere mummy papa ke bare mein , kyon hote hai yaar aise ,like nahi karte chalega ,nahi chaiye love affection atleast mental peace thoda den chaiye .
@@mannu2294 don’t worry it’s a bad phase will pass. If things doesn’t work get separate. It’s karma if they are doing wrong to us they will suffer the same. Later
My mother in law talks on mobile 6-7 hours daily with her favourite people mostly from her own mayka and she needs privacy to do all this talk and when I go to my room she makes an issue that am not a good DIL as I don’t spend hours with her and talk daily with her favourite people , one day she started crying n a very bad way that she expected her DIL to all time sit with her when she herself seeks private corner in house for her secret chugli time 😂😂😂😂
I have 8 month's baby, just after marriage I concieved my job was 1 n half travelling from my place so i was going to leave my job, but as far as my mil got to know i conceived she came here from village n my whole pregnancy she mentally tortured me... each n every thing my husband do for me she had problem with that i contined my work because i couldnt handle her torture n that time my husband was standing beside he used to protect me over it,but after baby arrived its hell for me.. my 6 months maternity leave was so horrible she started crying for each and everything..... watever i do in kicthen she has problem with that.. what to do i cant understand i cant become her Robot..i cant work as she want.. i find peace at my work now that also they cant digest now want me to leave my job n handle house hold work like a full time maid n if i cant do that they have problem now my husband started saying me kyaa sanskaar diye he tumhare maa baap ne n all.. y all these women has to face
Same here, going through This i am 8 months pregnant and she is torturing me daily, i don't know what gonna happen when baby will born.. i am so much worried as my mental health is affecting, i am independent, but she can't digest my comfort she wants me to be a slave and also earn money so they can eat up their son earnings.
@@Hi-Fa.official always ask him what have you done for me?? and also whatever you are expecting me to do for your parents and sibling are you doing same for my parents and siblings.if not then please dont expect from me too.. but ye sub bolna easy he they get hyper when we ask them because of our so called patriarchy system i dont know y only girls are expected to adjust and become their slaves. men enjoys being with his own family and brings a full time unpaid servant for his family after marriage
Please help me. Meri love marriage hui h and mere in laws ( especially saans ) mujhse nafrat krte h. Wo hm k fever me Marta hua chor kr ghumne chale gye aur mere papa Nhi rahe to kehte h Unko Bhul jao husband hi Tmhra asset.wo Duniya bhar me Meri burai krte. Ab wo mere Chacha k v Meri burai krna start kr diye. Mere in laws k h k hm Unke naukar ban kr rahe. Wo Mera job krna independent hona existence v pasand Nhi krte. Husband sb Dkh kr v ignore me dete h. Hm mentally Bht suffer kr rhe h. Please guide me and help me
I am facing so situation. twelve years have passed she has hold my husband and my children. Before two years I take stand for it i am living my life . sometimes I feel sorrow. After it i pray to God. God sabka hota hai.
Its better 1.5 years that i have been married. Till today my mother in law complaints the things she wasn't satisfied in the wedding, reminds me now and then that gold was enough, and she did not like the reception food etc.
All the fault is of son/husband, Ladke apne ma pe akh band kr k bharosa krte hai par apni wife pe nhi Isiliye mother in law or any member from the family can easily torture a daughter in law. If a man started taking stand for her wife than no one dare to do so
my mother in law always finds something wrong.Like how I don’t eat much or how I use 'apni' with her instead of 'tumi'. I never protest or react. But that upsets her too.I don’t have many friends and so I have a habit of telling my husband everything. He always reacts in the same way. That is telling me to adjust. I feel lonely in my marriage.
Hi my mother in law did a lot of bad things me taunting trouble a lot of things etc when im alone at room and i dint tell anyone abt this... After almost 3 year we shifted other place now again she is starting old things with me should i stand up and tell all the things she did to me before whole family or not😔
Thanks alot to both of you...the lady who asked this question and to u dr meghna....m too dealing with exact situation with my MIL since my marriage....🙏🫶
MAM, I was 35, when I lost my husband, raised two children as a single parent,worked day and night as teacher in school then tuition at home,now my children are well performing in careers,but fail to recognise my efforts,i paid everything upto their postgrads n then their marriage,but under the influence of their their spouses,they say it was only their own efforts that they have risen in life,…I have spent my youth ,now I am 61 years, now they wish to keep me to serve in their houses,if I deny sometimes, they threaten me of harming themselves and yell at me.MAM please answer i really need counseling
Thank you so much mam🙏Ye accurate meri v kahani hai😢Me v iss daur se gujar rahi hun😴Sahdi ke sirf 2mahine huye hai lekin saas apni asliyat shadi ke 6tha din se dikhadiye. Ek don v aisa nahi hai jo achhe gujre. Apke bataye huye method me v pehle se apply kar rahi hun lekin usme v uska dikkat hai. Wo sasur aur bete ko meri baare me humsa olta pulta aur jhuthe baatein banakar kehte hai. Kabi kabhi lagata hai ki pagal jaise par kabhi kabhi zyada husiyar se v husiyar lagta hai wo aurat. Jina muskil au dipress karke rakha hai🙄
Job karo tabhi koi ijjat nhi hoti hai ..har saas ko ek bahu mein chahiye ki woh ghar ka kaam bhi kare and job bhi kare and bache bhi sambhale...but aap batao kya yeh possible hai .. indirectly unhe ek naukrani chahiye apne liye......and ignore agar karo bhi toh kab tak ..kyun ki unka nature toh aise hin rahega ....woh apna comment karna tana marna bahu k maa papa ko bejjat karna yeh toh chalta hin rahega ..ignore karo tab bhi unka apko provoke karna chalu hin rehta hai toh ek insaan hone k nate ek bahu kab tak sahegi and ignore karegi ..akhir bahu bhi insaan hai usse bhi shanti se jine ka haq hai .....bahut ko mayke bhi tak nhi jane dete ....uske liye bhi ladh padhenge na ..aur na hin mayke walo ko yaha sasural mein aane dete hai......hai koi solution iss cheez ka .
How do i convince my husband to move in a nuclear family? He's very stubborn on not moving in a nuclear family. Pls help. I don't won't to either ignore or adjust. Pls help.
Hello mam, I am going through the same. I want to move in a nuclear family but my husband is against it. He says that if I demand a nuclear family then he'll divorce me. I don't want to leave him. I feel staying separately will keep both of us peaceful n instead build a better relationship. A separate house on rent for my parents-in-law near to our house. And besides they aren't very old that they can't tc of themselves. How do i convince my husband? Hes v stubborn on his decision.
I am facing the same problem dear. I also don't want to live with them and spoil my life. But the husbands don't have to do anything with our feelings😢
Sab aise hi hote hai... Bas aap financially independent bano... N jitna ho shake baat mat karo... Ekdam cold ho jao... Focus on urself.. I knw bolna bauth muskli hai.... But koi ek firm stand lo... Bautb firm .... Nahi tho ye aisa hi chalta rehaga
Lekin meri sans to apni beti ko bhagwan manti h meri nnd itni ameer h Or hm dono yha berozgaar h abhi fr bhi wo apni beti ko yha se itna deti h meri nand bhi lalchi h mujhe nhi pta mujhe bura kyu lgta h wo unki beti h dene do but fr bhi mujhe lgta h ki ye glt h pta nhi kya shi h kya glt mujhe to Meri nnd ameer hone ka ghmnd dikhata h mujhe ki mere pas to itne kpde h ye h wo h Or yha apni maa se le jati h itne sare suit vgra Kya kru m M glt hu kya??
😂 kuch na kro bs bhagwaan ka naam lo or kisi se glat bhav mt rkho jitna unki kismat me h wo leke hi jyengi even apke aankhon ke samne se le jygi. Apne pati ka dhyan rkho or age bdo
Mei agr apni saas se baat cheet km bhi kr du phir bhi wo yhi bolti hai ki mere se bolti nhi hai or bete ko hmesha mere khilaaf bhadkati rehti hai ki ye mujhse baat nhi krti or meri baat nhi manti.. Mei kya kru. Kyx samjh nhi aata 😢
Mere gharwalo ne jo mujhe earings diye hain unse mere kaan latak gaye h To mere husband meri saas ko kehte mmy shweta ke liye earings bnwane h dusre To lehte iske mayke wale bech do ache nhi h inka koi kaam ni h bahut bakwas ki To mere husband kehte gold jodna chahiye naki bechna chahiye To meri saas gusse me ulta bolne lg gayi kehti hme ni pta jaise mrji bnwa hme to tumhare khane pine ke naam ke paise chahiye har mahine To mere husband kehte mmy ap jealousy ku krti ho Khud ki beti ko to kehti ho ye chij lele wo chij lele Bahut ladayi hui fr saas sasur dono apni shop pe chle gye Sham ko unka phn aya husband ke phn pe unhone baat ki lekin phn katna bhul gye Maine utha liya phn mai call cut krne wali thi mujhe unki batein sun gayi Mere bare me kehte ye badi gandi aurat h giri hui isko to chpede juttiyan marni pdegi tab sudhregi itna kuch bola main bta ni skti fr maine husband ko sunaya Fr mere husband shop pe gaye fr pucha unse to mukr gaye kehte hm kisi or ki baat kar rhe the😢😢 bahut pareshan krte h kuch b khana bnati hu to kehte h kadwa lg rha h koi kaam psnd nhi krte
Maine try kiya.. ki baate kam se kam kru..but wo mere husband ko bolte hai. Ki ma baat ni krti unse ..ni ho pata yr baat krna unse .. wo har baat oe taunt deti hai. Sabke samne acha dikhti hai..but hume pata hai ki wo kis chiz pe kya taunt de Rahi hai ..😢. Suffocation feel hona lgta hai .jis tarh se har chiz pe wo control rkhna chahti hai
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How to respond to verbally abusive in laws
Hello Dr. Can you please share you mail adress to share something..
Similar situation. My MIL has a problem with almost everything. She expects me to dress according to her choices. Has a problem seeing me with her son and the strange thing is has a problem with me spending time with my 3.5 month infant. Very intrusive and privacy invading. Tries to copy almost everything I wear and do. She is in her 50's but competes with me. So illogical
Heavy on the competing with someone half her age
So similar
Thank you for this. I had a terrible day yesterday. My mother in law started crying yesterday. This is what happened: I had put vegetables in the cooker. And went to the living room. The cooker sarted whistling (while she was in the kitchen). she called me out and I answered back I am coming. When I got to the kitchen she said she was calling out to which I replied that I also said I am coming u did not hear it. To this she said I could not hear due to whistles. I said ok. Then she said I did not know what was in cooker. I said I put vegetables when you were standing right besides me, I thot u knew it. That's it! I went out of the kitchen. And then my husband calls me out and says mom is crying because you back answered her!!! I literally slapped myself with disbelief and anger and frustration....I feel like banging my head because my mil can get offended about anything and everything.....I feel like running away and never coming back to this place
Eighter she is literally that sensetive to what people say Or she is playing victim card or your way of communication can be new for them
Moreover your husband should verify what happened? So i feel we all go wrong here, that we feel mil are torturing us.. But husband is the one who let her do that
Exactly same thing happens with me.. always Big drama 😭 she can talk ulta seedha but I cant..Iam getting panic attacks ..
And i thought i only face this kind of situation where i can't say a single word to her or else there will be a big kalesh
My birthday was on yesterday , i forgot to say to her that his son brought a bday cake for me that's why she stopped talking and arguing to me on my special day ... I didn't even eat anything for dinner and breakfast because of that ... I am tired of this shit .. can't handle anymore... We can't have any privacy ... She is always with us even we can't go together anywhere if we did it she will start screen create....i wanna die
Please give a solution how to manage this
It took 14 years to understand gray rock method. Unknowingly I started applying that. Thanks to your video that I got to know this term. I have applied all the methods to my MIL. Now I had to skip the forgiving part. Because I am tired of her high end manipulations. She never leaves any stone unturned just to hurt me. I am stuck with a narcissist. She manipulates even house helps against me. Mentally I am just tired of running away from her. I am scared of her. She is a cold rock.
Same with me....I used to be so jolly now I am in depression and totally different person 😢
It's been 4 yrs and I don't know how to handle the situation where I am always wring no matter what I do and don't do so googled this
Feels like I’ve written this comment.
Same
@@Cuterash-08when all this is gonna end
Actually my mother always used to find faults in my bhabhi, and i also took sides with my mother blindly but my bhabhi one day taught my mother a good lesson and now me and my bhabhi never allow her to criticize unnecessarily
Actually my bhabhi is an independent girl, at first I used to think my bhabhi is agressive and dominating but later I realised that it that my mother used to snatch her freedom to do anything like going out for work, wearing pants and shirt, talking to her friends and even criticized her for less dowry
Not making food all the tree times ,so later i realise that the dominating nature of my bhabhi is infact a good thing to teach a selfish lady as my mother
So yes my bhabhi is a bit short tempered,she is a bit vocal and confident but she was not wrong and now she has no one against her as i fully support her ,i mean how can i not support her ,she changed my perspective towards women, opened my eyes and now each time she really give my mother a hard time whenever she pokes in her personal life
Meri nand ko b kash ye bat smjh a jae but I know kbi ni smjh aegi
@@kavitasingh5047 aapki kya problem hai
Wish my 5 nagin sisters in law understood this
@@SN-ud8fd nagin 😅
❤
MIL poisoned my husband against me and convinced him to believe that I am his emotional and financial burden. I know as long as I stay with my husband, she wont give him any peace. Hence I decided to move to my parents house and would try my best to become financially independent. To me my independence and self respect is priority. Time is a healer they say. Perhaps it will heal the marriage sometime in future. If it doesn’t, it will hurt me greatly but eventually I have to keep moving forward for my parents’ sake and also myself.
U r lucky dear ur parents supporting u... My parents r say maar ja par humare ghar mat aa bahut lucky ho aap
@@naina763same my own parents deserted me .but thankfully my husband nd my baby are my strength.they are my happy place.neither my parents nor my in-laws ever helped me during my pregnancy and after pregnancy.and today i dnt give it a shit whether they are fine or not .karma
@@rushi8588 I don't know what MILs achieve by creating trouble for the bahu. Why even bother to marry the son then?
Mere mil ko to chance chahiye kb mere husband mze chillake bat kre muzpr gussa ho mere against kuch bole...aa jate hai bichme kudne aor mere flaws lekar😂😂😂😂...then I started saying my husband akele me mze chappal se mare to bhi chlega..is tarh se logo ke samne Jalil Mt Kiya Karo ..later he understood 😅😅😅
I am exactly doing the same thing as you mentioned in the video and trust me i am happy keeping distance and keeping conversation to the minimum with her(mil) and helped me lot instead of being with her i distract myself with watching videos or reading books...I am in peace now... 🙌
What about when she keeps finding faults
Same here..😂
Ignore as you much as you can she didn't exist tell to yourself 😂@@bhuvaneshwarij1326
Really even I m planning to do the same.
Lekin meri sans to apni beti ko bhagwan manti h meri nnd itni ameer h Or hm dono yha berozgaar h abhi fr bhi wo apni beti ko yha se itna deti h meri nand bhi lalchi h mujhe nhi pta mujhe bura kyu lgta h wo unki beti h dene do but fr bhi mujhe lgta h ki ye glt h pta nhi kya shi h kya glt mujhe to
Meri nnd ameer hone ka ghmnd dikhata h mujhe ki mere pas to itne kpde h ye h wo h Or yha apni maa se le jati h itne sare suit vgra
Kya kru m
M glt hu kya??
I did this n i did succeeded....... please other womens follow this same rules...... u will be happy i swear ...... i hope all those womens who r suffering frm this will get more happy one day..... good luck 😘
Yes. All these points are correct. This is how I deal with my narcissist MIL. Even tho she is 95, the wickedness has only increased. Unfortunately, we are forced to live in the same house together. So I gray rock her, never tell her my plans, keep my answers short and non-committal and don't try to engage in any conversation except the bare minimum . I don't like being this way since I'm normally very empathetic and affectionate but I have to preserve my sanity and stop getting insulted for being good to her
I have been doing the same thing with my FIL for some time now, without realising there is proper term for this behaviour. He is growing worse day by day - constant comments, criticism, negativity is increasing.Though I do not react to his indirect remarks directly now(to not give him the satisfaction of riling me up), still those comments just keep on going through my mind all day. Also I since I now keep my interactions with them minimum, they pass comments on this as well that what am I so occupied with whole day that I can't even sit with them and talk. Please suggest how to not be affected by constant negativity they are throwing my way. I really want to be at peace mentally and not just pretend that I am at peace in front of them.
Maine aapka video dekhne se pehle hi ye sab kuch try kiya meri saas ne fir bhi mujhe itna torcher kiya ke mai apne bete ko bataungi tum bilkul baat nahi karti humre Kismat hi kharab thi ke hum sochte bahu ke aane se ghar me khushi hogi unho ne mujhe sab ke saamne disripect kiya mujh pe jhoote allegation lagaye mujhe unse nafrat si hogayi hai mai ne unke liye shadi se pehle bhi bohat kuch kiya ek waqt me mujhe unse bohat mohabbat thi even apni maa se bhi zyada par aaj me unko face bhi nahi karna chahti.
Same here
I wonder why many mother in laws are like this. It's also very unfortunate even men and women both have to face this these days 😂.
Bhut acha aur sahi bola aapne ....... Phele baar kisi lady ne bilkul perfectly kaha........ ❤❤ U r so intelligent and educated lady. ... Thank you so much mam❤🎉
Aisi mother in law meri bhi Hain or har baat PE jhooth bolna jasoosi karna sabki or sabko Shak ki nigah se dekhna garibo ko nokar samjhna buri tareeke se pesh ana ...even apne husband se bhi unki banti nahi or mere husband ko bhi manipulate karti Hain or agr vo sach ka sath dete hain to unko bhi sabki Nazar me gira deti Hain or emotional drama or fir nay jhooth ready ...jisse ki ghar ka mahol boht kharab hai ....or do beto me partiality karti hain ..mujhe samjh nhi ata mai deal kaise karoon... jaha meri soch khatm ho jati h waha se unka dimag chalna start hota h itna shatir dimag h ..
Same yar itni partilaty karti hai
Ditto mine
mine too same how this possible.. ye sub ek hi school me the kyaa😂
@@UmaJaiswalArtist 😂😂mujhe bhi yahi lagta hai .😁
Meri bhi same hai.. Bhut tang aa gayi hu.. Lagta hai khan bhaag jau.
Exactly the same things my MIL doing with me. Thankfully I am working woman but my work is remote work and I do my office work from home. I have my sister in law (Devrani) she just gave a birth to baby. My mother in law everytime tried to down myself. I have seen she do the partially between me and my Devrani. She always praised her. When me and husband argue with eachother she always interfare. I always afraid because She always instigates my husband against me.
Exactly same thing happened with me....😢😢 Literally i m fed up with my mil .
It's been 4.5 years of my marriage, and my MIL has been torturing me over good for nothing issues, similar to what is described in this video. At first, I used to go to my mother's house for a break from her, but unfortunately, my mother passed away, and now my home isn't the same without her, so now I mostly stay at my in laws only. For me, the feeling of acceptance did the trick. That, I have to live here and there is no other solution. I didn't know this "gray" rock term, but I had already started applying it. Today, my MIL remains the same, but I have learnt to ignore her playing the victim. She is sooo not part of my thoughts anymore, I keep myself so busy with work. Feels good actually. 😊
Hi sweetheart, I hope you are well. I’m so sorry for your loss. It makes me so happy for a stranger today that she is healing herself.. nobody can take a place of a mother in your life. Your mother is your mother and mother-in-law is always a mother-in-law. She can never be your mother. As I am writing this, I am trying to accept the things that you wrote over your commen. it’s been 10 months of my marriage, and my mother-in-law is giving me a very hard time, we are all in this together. You are not alone.
Mam, make more videos on mother in law and how to handle the toxicity
Just cut her off a d live separately with your husband . Stand up women for yourself . Husbands mother had come abroad to stay with us for months . Mentally tortured a pregnant lady . My husband didn’t take a stand . I left the house . And came back when they left . Now my husband learnt a lesson and tries to keep his mother and me as far as possible . Not only that she blocked my way and didn’t allow me to go out . I called the police complaints against her and stayed in a refuge
Hats off
Ap logo ki video dhkhe mind bht positive hota hai...
Its high time women learn to fight for themselves and defend their self respect...Nothing and no one is worth taking any form of abuse..sometimes you have to roar to make the enemy deaf 😅..If Mil is good n nice respect and love her by all means, but if she is torturing you do not take it lying down..what you tolerate will continue and no change will come. ..Married for 5 years n I don't give a rats ass if my husband's family likes me or not..But husband's support is very important without that it can be difficult and girls please speak to ur own family and don't hide from them .❤love n best wishes to all the tortured souls called "Daughter in laws"
@@pinazbharucha1306 women has all the right to live on her own terms with her husband, family should not interfere, couple should live independently to enjoy their personal freedom
Mere mil to apnea bete ko dekhte he muh banake Bolney lagti hain.itna natak karti hain..hamesha bimar hain thak gayi bolti hain aur har samay Kuch namaste kuch to khati rehti hain..aur Mera koi bhi kaam usko sahi nahi lagta..oh god I feel really tired..uska Sakal dekhte hi Mera palpitation suru Hota hain.plz help kya karung
same yar
Aise m kya kare any solution pls help me
Aisi saas k liye vridhashram hai
Ur just superb …..just wow ..no words Mam…want to hug you for ur suggestions… I already follow all the suggestions which you mentioned in this video but I was in a doubt whether I chose right way or not.. Today after watching ur video.. am 100% confident and happy.. thank you soooo much for comforting me Mam which is really required for me at this point of time ..other important thing I want to share with you Mam.. this is the first review I ever gave in my life.. .RIGHT VIDEO AT RIGHT TIME GOOGLE SUGGESTED ME..TQ google..
Thank you so much mam...This is exactly my situation
My MIL is very diplomatic.She behaves completely different in front of my husband and FIL.I am married for three years and living together with my in laws.my SIL (jethani) lives away from us with her family but my mil keeps praising her about her cooking,job,nature, looks and so on like some goddess.She always makes calls to her and talks for hours to her before me.She never respected our privacy keeping an eye on our talks and plans.She has a habit of finding faults in everything i do and keep guiding me in front of everyone to look like how helping and understanding she is.
I can completely understand you...
After reading so much of comments now i understand i m not the only person there are sm other womens also facing such problems. Feeling stable and calm after reading all experiences comparing mine. I m going through depression because of mother in laws behaviour. Today i just searched on youtube and i got my remedy which any psychologist can't understand and cure. Thank you so much to all these ladies to share their experiences and thank you dr meghna ji for this motivational video❤
Facing the same😊
Same situation mene b jab comments padhe thodi rahat mili shayad me akeli nai hoo is bhid me
Same here, it’s sad that we have to face such things in this century,
in this modern times, but at the same time, it gives me a little bit of calmness that I am not alone in this. There are millions like me, who are facing the same issue at the same time.
Thanku sooooo much mam 💞😘, Mai xush ho geyi aapki tips soonkr , kyu ki mai yehi tips use kar rehi hu..so aapki tips soonkar our zyda himmot mil geyi....
Thank you 😊
Mene 8 saal jhel liya...taane, husband k sath chugli, mene decide kar liya hai ab me nahi reh skti... me ye ghar chod dungi bohot jald, bhale fir muje husband se dur q na rehna pade... isase jada mujse handle nahi ho raha,... mene apne aapko distract rakh kr b dekh liya,mene ignore kar k b dekh liya... tb vo mere husband ko mere hi saamne meri burayi aur complain karti hai
Thank u for your suggestion ❤
Log bolte hain ye maa baap se alg hogae jinhone itna kra pr ye nhi sochte k itna majbur krdia jata hai unhe alg hone k lie agr wo ache se reh le to koi kisi k lie bhoj nhi hoga sb mil jul k itne pyr se rhenge wo kyu nhi sochte thori umar reh hai aram se reh lo
Thodi Umar to hamari rah jayegi agar ye isi tarah hamara khoon Peete rahe to, vse bhi esey logon ki age kafi achchi lambi hoti hai
@@Yomistudio-6688True. 😂
Your Grey rock strategy is best. ❤❤
That sounds 100% like my narcissist MIL. Tough as it may be, living separately with your husband is the only way to live in peace. Such women will never change. They're insanely jealous and will manipulate every thing, person and situation to suit themselves, others be damned
I live separately with my husband in another state, but she has the audacity to control me over phone from miles apart. She is so jealous if we go out somewhere. She would later tell me that we just cannot have fun like this. We have to think about them as well. I don’t know what that means, but it’s funny and frustrating at the same time. How do you deal with this? She is a blood sucking monster of a mother-in-law.
@@pratyashi191 yes I agree. They do it remotely too.
@@NPPREMA Good thing is that my husband knows everything about her behavior. I was always someone who wouldn't talk back and stay silent. But I have started doing so. Whenever I'd do that, she'd say ''tumko main acchi ladki samajhti thi''
Behen nahin banna hai aur accha. 😅
@@pratyashi191 same here. My husband is aware and he always has my back. In fact, he told me a very long time ago to keep only bare minimum communication with her, but fool that I was, I thought that I could win her with my care and attention. But now I hardly talk to her and never even stay in the same room . Peace (relatively) !
@@NPPREMA So glad it's finally working for you. It's just been 10 months of my marriage and I'm trying everyday. You are not alone in this. Don't worry. End mein aapke husband, aap aur aapke bacche ko he rehna hai. Patience is the key. I know it's very hard to deal with difficult people but it will also make us mentally very strong. Husband aapke saath hai toh kya he karr sakti hai wo. Take care. Be happy. You deserve it all. ❤️❤️
Mam mujhe shadi ko ek saal ho chuka hai..mere sath problem ye hai ki ...meri saas toxic hai...Mera mayke Jana ya bahar Jana bhot mushkil rehta hai....mai kahi ja a nahi skti.....or bhot si problem hain...lekin ye sbse zada mujhe preshan krti hai
Poison de do
I do exactly the same things...i keep myself busy...and try to ignore
This is what I had been trying to do - to try and stay aloof and now she complains to my husband that I don't talk to her much and that I don't put much effort in building the relationship😂
Dear women...
You all are lovely and beautiful and very much self sufficient. There is nothing in the world that a woman cannot achieve. BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT. You all have your own parents to look after, your own beautiful lives. Care for those who value you, and distance yourself from those who don't value your individuality. Instead of staying in an unhappy marriage and dragging the relationship its better to realise the worth of our own lives, be financially independent and serve the country and others who most need it. Make a difference and remember we have every power to make the world a beautiful place. Please don't suffer.... Your life is precious, you are precious!!
Once I asked my mil, mom how was ur mil ? She said mil bhi kabhi achi hoti h kya😂😂😂...n I was in my mind like whattt😳...aap bhi toh mil hai matlab aap bhi achi nhi ho 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
😂🤣🤣
😂
😅
😂😂😂
Same mother in law am staying...every morning I wake up & cry...and going to work
Same thing repeat next day....my husband isn't taking any stand
same with me
How to deal if she is complaining to your husband? And your husband is getting pressurised by her
Yes please let me also know this 😢
Husband sunke jb aapko kuch bole to husband ke sath bhi bhs mat kro wo jo bole chup chap sun lo kyuki wo saas husband ko sikha ke ldayi hone ka wait krti h
It really does not matters whether ur independent or no they treat the same I am facing the same since 4 yrs nw
More of all this....I have started being spiritual also...hope 1 day I will start feeling better...m really tired by choosing my husband..
Mam grey rock method me they say ki ye to bat nai karti
Thanks dr..for video..and sharing ur knowledge with us..👍👏👏
All these hurts you back emotionally
Avoiding the issues and keeping yourself shut off will not reduce stress, it will just reduce direct harassment. However problem will still remain. Unless you convince your husband to move out and take job in different city, you will not be happy - since MIL’s goal is to ensure your marriage will not be happy
Meri marriage ko 26 years ho chuke hain. Meri saas kahin jyada toxic hai. Itne years mein adjust karte karte meri health
down ja rahi hai aur wo lady din pratidin strong hote ja rahi hai. Itni age hone par bhi wo bedroom, kitchen, pooja room sab mein full control rakhti hai. Wo har samay mere aur mere husband ke beech differences create karna chahati hai. Please someone help🙏 Grey rock method apply karne par bhi agar wo provoke kare aur relatives ke samne humiliate kare, to kaise situation handle karna chahiye??
Grey rock method bkwas h
Job kro
Arrange marriage. Living w in laws. Yesterday i went home late , first time in 2 years. Dint inform her, but informed my husband about my status. I reached home, she started w giving me lil thing that u should have called and all. I said i told my husband.
Later the argument escalated when she said kaha ghumri thi.
I got mad and gave her back . Back n forth was happening. My husband dint tell her that she texted me n its fine. He went to bathroom. He dint respond when i called him out. After some 20 min argument, i had enough and told her that he is my husband , you are not my husband . I have informed home n i am not obligated to you. That was it. All the melodrama, calling my parent, crying, swearing what not happened. I said sorry in the end for my statement. But she blew things out of proportion . Situation is tensed at home. What am i suppose to do!
Ma'am mere husband 3 brothers hain sbse bade bhai aur mere husband married hain aur ek brother abhi shadi k liye ldki dekh rhe Hain meri saas aur jethani dono mil kr mujhe bohot mentally torture karte hain jethani ab alag kitchen m apna kaam krti h pr wo hamare kitchen m bhi interfere krti h fridge alag hone pr bhi hamara fridge use krti h meri saas use bohot support krti h aur mera moral hamesha down krne k koshish krti h mujhe kbhi support ni krti m depression m jati ja rahi hu jbki saas aur devar mere sath rhte hain aur devar ki shadi k baad bhi wo mere aur husband k sath rhne ki bolti h but mujhe hamesha pareshan krti hain aur mere muh pr jhoot bol deti hain mere husband meri nhi sunte unka gussa bohot tej hai hamari married life bohot jyada spoil ho rahi h mujhe smjh ni aa rha m kya kru jb wo mujhe psnd hi ni krti to kyu mera pichha ni chhodti meri jethani ko bohot jyada pyar krti h maid k trh se uske hr order ka agree krti h
Pray to god
Aap job kro
I have an unusual situation to explain. The sasu lives in India but she is controlling her daughters every move over the phone.
Y vidio mery ley aaya h thanku so much univers 🙏🏻🚩
Somehow so much related to my life. But too much extreme she keeps telling people I go out with men after my husband left for work or talk to men on laptop to create fights between me n my husband..I work so she even said if he let's me work I'll go away with some guy from office..she says I try to kill her n her son whenever she and her son have a fight. She even called the police on me saying i physically assaulted her just bcoz she and her son had a fight and wanted to punish me for it . But it was sorted because the neighbours gave a statement in my favour. I left that home and I am not in contact with my inlaws at all.. thankfully my husband is on my support and he knows his mom is wrong so he never asks me to keep contact with her n protects me.
Meri to MIL ne meri shadi hi tudwa di. Mere pati ko mere itne khilaf kar diya ki meri delivery ke 4th day hi pati chhod ke chla gya. Wo isi din ka intezar kar rahi thi or usne ye kar dikhaya. Pta nhi kya milta hai in MIL ko ye sab karke or apne hi bete ka ghar ujaad ke.
Apne karam khud dekhenge .......old age me jakr jo deadly bimariya lgti h logo ko ...aur woh saal-saal suffer karte h ...un sab ka yahi reason hota h .... I pray for you and your child 🙏 those who wronged you will be damned
Ma'am then I have question. Why we should live togather? Why family and society pressurize to be married. Why only girls have to go to their home? Because this negative ruis husband wife relationship also
Because Guy change life of hopeless female beggar by marrying but girl will not even look at them and a guy have to give up too much his money his home his business his cars etc wife don’t want to house chores even when they don’t do job just want to be lazy that’s all but guy still have them but Ladies can never handle to live with that kind of husband I have many more reasons if you’re nớt satisfied
Yar bada toxic sa Riwaaz hai , otherwise Larkio pe home breaker ka tag lagado , nahi to maid bana lo , education ka koi khas kadar ni
ua-cam.com/play/PLV5gu5OEomFtvmO0Tqgm2l9vPVSg442ph.html&si=wM8FzhxzctDQhZ70
One of my friend is in govt department n group a officer...n her MIL said hmara ehsaan maano naukri krne de rhe h. Un buri saaso m se nhi h jo bahu ko naukri krne nhi deti
Thanks for the tips. But still tough to live with mil.
Thank you so much
Even when I maintain distance, she has problem with that “ ki mere pas ake kbi baith ti ni or baitho toh hmesha len den ki batein”
Same here agar sath baitho bhi na taunts marte hai ,nicha dikhayenge .sorry to say but my in laws are very much toxic , ek ek din guzarna difficult hota ,I am scared kahin mujhe depression na ho jae.becoz bohot dukh hota hai jab har baar apko nicha dikhayenge .mere mummy papa ke bare mein , kyon hote hai yaar aise ,like nahi karte chalega ,nahi chaiye love affection atleast mental peace thoda den chaiye .
@@mannu2294 don’t worry it’s a bad phase will pass. If things doesn’t work get separate. It’s karma if they are doing wrong to us they will suffer the same. Later
So true.
My mother in law talks on mobile 6-7 hours daily with her favourite people mostly from her own mayka and she needs privacy to do all this talk and when I go to my room she makes an issue that am not a good DIL as I don’t spend hours with her and talk daily with her favourite people , one day she started crying n a very bad way that she expected her DIL to all time sit with her when she herself seeks private corner in house for her secret chugli time 😂😂😂😂
Thnq u dr. Difficult to even face her
I have 8 month's baby, just after marriage I concieved my job was 1 n half travelling from my place so i was going to leave my job, but as far as my mil got to know i conceived she came here from village n my whole pregnancy she mentally tortured me... each n every thing my husband do for me she had problem with that i contined my work because i couldnt handle her torture n that time my husband was standing beside he used to protect me over it,but after baby arrived its hell for me.. my 6 months maternity leave was so horrible she started crying for each and everything..... watever i do in kicthen she has problem with that.. what to do i cant understand i cant become her Robot..i cant work as she want.. i find peace at my work now that also they cant digest now want me to leave my job n handle house hold work like a full time maid n if i cant do that they have problem now my husband started saying me kyaa sanskaar diye he tumhare maa baap ne n all.. y all these women has to face
Same here, going through This i am 8 months pregnant and she is torturing me daily, i don't know what gonna happen when baby will born.. i am so much worried as my mental health is affecting, i am independent, but she can't digest my comfort she wants me to be a slave and also earn money so they can eat up their son earnings.
Husbands to 24 hours mama boy bante hai they never understand exactly what we go through after having baby
@@Hi-Fa.official always ask him what have you done for me?? and also whatever you are expecting me to do for your parents and sibling are you doing same for my parents and siblings.if not then please dont expect from me too.. but ye sub bolna easy he they get hyper when we ask them because of our so called patriarchy system
i dont know y only girls are expected to adjust and become their slaves. men enjoys being with his own family and brings a full time unpaid servant for his family after marriage
Perfect strategy....but too late for me. Suffered a lot.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you feeling better now?
Please help me. Meri love marriage hui h and mere in laws ( especially saans ) mujhse nafrat krte h. Wo hm k fever me Marta hua chor kr ghumne chale gye aur mere papa Nhi rahe to kehte h Unko Bhul jao husband hi Tmhra asset.wo Duniya bhar me Meri burai krte. Ab wo mere Chacha k v Meri burai krna start kr diye. Mere in laws k h k hm Unke naukar ban kr rahe. Wo Mera job krna independent hona existence v pasand Nhi krte. Husband sb Dkh kr v ignore me dete h. Hm mentally Bht suffer kr rhe h. Please guide me and help me
Thankyou so much ma'am...your advice helped me alot🙂
Talk and teach is easy. Join in the problematic family then will see how you could control and solve the situation.
True👍
Not to hurt the speaker here but found these tips quite meaningless and ineffective in real environment with such toxic Mother in law .
I am facing so situation. twelve years have passed she has hold my husband and my children. Before two years I take stand for it i am living my life . sometimes I feel sorrow. After it i pray to God. God sabka hota hai.
THANKS
I'm facing this same problem. I'm working as an engineer but she wants me to quit the job .I need your help
Im a neet aspirant because of my mil i had to take 3rd drop these she wants me to leave my studies
Please never quit your job for anyone . Think if you quit your job , you are financially and emotionally dependent on your family.
Don't quit your job
Thank you it helps a lot ❤❤❤
صحیح کہاں آپ نے۔ یہ میری زندگی ہے 😢😢
Its better 1.5 years that i have been married. Till today my mother in law complaints the things she wasn't satisfied in the wedding, reminds me now and then that gold was enough, and she did not like the reception food etc.
All the fault is of son/husband,
Ladke apne ma pe akh band kr k bharosa krte hai par apni wife pe nhi
Isiliye mother in law or any member from the family can easily torture a daughter in law.
If a man started taking stand for her wife than no one dare to do so
my mother in law always finds something wrong.Like how I don’t eat much or how I use 'apni' with her instead of 'tumi'. I never protest or react. But that upsets her too.I don’t have many friends and so I have a habit of telling my husband everything. He always reacts in the same way. That is telling me to adjust. I feel lonely in my marriage.
Hi my mother in law did a lot of bad things me taunting trouble a lot of things etc when im alone at room and i dint tell anyone abt this... After almost 3 year we shifted other place now again she is starting old things with me should i stand up and tell all the things she did to me before whole family or not😔
Thanks alot to both of you...the lady who asked this question and to u dr meghna....m too dealing with exact situation with my MIL since my marriage....🙏🫶
MAM, I was 35, when I lost my husband, raised two children as a single parent,worked day and night as teacher in school then tuition at home,now my children are well performing in careers,but fail to recognise my efforts,i paid everything upto their postgrads n then their marriage,but under the influence of their their spouses,they say it was only their own efforts that they have risen in life,…I have spent my youth ,now I am 61 years, now they wish to keep me to serve in their houses,if I deny sometimes, they threaten me of harming themselves and yell at me.MAM please answer i really need counseling
You need to stand for yourself. Try to get your finance and start living in a separate house. It's enough of all your life struggles neensatya
What to do
Thank you so much mam🙏Ye accurate meri v kahani hai😢Me v iss daur se gujar rahi hun😴Sahdi ke sirf 2mahine huye hai lekin saas apni asliyat shadi ke 6tha din se dikhadiye. Ek don v aisa nahi hai jo achhe gujre. Apke bataye huye method me v pehle se apply kar rahi hun lekin usme v uska dikkat hai. Wo sasur aur bete ko meri baare me humsa olta pulta aur jhuthe baatein banakar kehte hai. Kabi kabhi lagata hai ki pagal jaise par kabhi kabhi zyada husiyar se v husiyar lagta hai wo aurat. Jina muskil au dipress karke rakha hai🙄
Job karo tabhi koi ijjat nhi hoti hai ..har saas ko ek bahu mein chahiye ki woh ghar ka kaam bhi kare and job bhi kare and bache bhi sambhale...but aap batao kya yeh possible hai .. indirectly unhe ek naukrani chahiye apne liye......and ignore agar karo bhi toh kab tak ..kyun ki unka nature toh aise hin rahega ....woh apna comment karna tana marna bahu k maa papa ko bejjat karna yeh toh chalta hin rahega ..ignore karo tab bhi unka apko provoke karna chalu hin rehta hai toh ek insaan hone k nate ek bahu kab tak sahegi and ignore karegi ..akhir bahu bhi insaan hai usse bhi shanti se jine ka haq hai .....bahut ko mayke bhi tak nhi jane dete ....uske liye bhi ladh padhenge na ..aur na hin mayke walo ko yaha sasural mein aane dete hai......hai koi solution iss cheez ka .
How do i convince my husband to move in a nuclear family? He's very stubborn on not moving in a nuclear family. Pls help. I don't won't to either ignore or adjust. Pls help.
The only way I see forward is if u both go for couple therapy. He might be more willing to listen to a professional
@@DrMeghnaTheTherapistMommy I tried to convince him for the couple therapy several times. But he doesn't agree on that too.
@@problemsolution267 fine then just you yourself mive out of the house and find yourself some good place to live in .
Look for a job far away from home
Your husband is trying to save money or is financially weak, maybe thays why
Main to depression m jati ja rahi hu smjh ni aa rha kya kru
Tnkzz🤗
Hello mam, I am going through the same. I want to move in a nuclear family but my husband is against it. He says that if I demand a nuclear family then he'll divorce me. I don't want to leave him. I feel staying separately will keep both of us peaceful n instead build a better relationship. A separate house on rent for my parents-in-law near to our house. And besides they aren't very old that they can't tc of themselves. How do i convince my husband? Hes v stubborn on his decision.
I am facing the same problem dear. I also don't want to live with them and spoil my life. But the husbands don't have to do anything with our feelings😢
Sab aise hi hote hai... Bas aap financially independent bano... N jitna ho shake baat mat karo... Ekdam cold ho jao... Focus on urself.. I knw bolna bauth muskli hai.... But koi ek firm stand lo... Bautb firm .... Nahi tho ye aisa hi chalta rehaga
Naina nice suggestions
It's very helpful for me
As a husband mujhe kya karna chahiye
Keep your mom n wife away😅
Ye tw meri question hai
Nice information
Same thing mam mere sath bilkul aise hi horaha hai
Lekin meri sans to apni beti ko bhagwan manti h meri nnd itni ameer h Or hm dono yha berozgaar h abhi fr bhi wo apni beti ko yha se itna deti h meri nand bhi lalchi h mujhe nhi pta mujhe bura kyu lgta h wo unki beti h dene do but fr bhi mujhe lgta h ki ye glt h pta nhi kya shi h kya glt mujhe to
Meri nnd ameer hone ka ghmnd dikhata h mujhe ki mere pas to itne kpde h ye h wo h Or yha apni maa se le jati h itne sare suit vgra
Kya kru m
M glt hu kya??
😂 kuch na kro bs bhagwaan ka naam lo or kisi se glat bhav mt rkho jitna unki kismat me h wo leke hi jyengi even apke aankhon ke samne se le jygi. Apne pati ka dhyan rkho or age bdo
@@VarunKumar-nm5sk thnx
Thank you.
Bilkul sahi mere sath bhi asa hi hota hai
Thank you mam for this suggestion ☺️
Same condition with me
My mil was very difficult and toxic.now I am suffering with bp stress and high cholesterol
Mei agr apni saas se baat cheet km bhi kr du phir bhi wo yhi bolti hai ki mere se bolti nhi hai or bete ko hmesha mere khilaaf bhadkati rehti hai ki ye mujhse baat nhi krti or meri baat nhi manti.. Mei kya kru. Kyx samjh nhi aata 😢
2 thappad do budhiya ko
Ditto 😢
Haa yarr kya kre in logon ka bolo to jawab de rhi n bolo to attitude ego h 😢
Allah same to same ye to agar meri sister in law sunegi to sochegi Maine likha...
38 k views means 38:k tortured people 😂
No actually tortured majority bichari UA-cam access ni kr pati
@@HarpreetKaur-ti2xp sahi kaha,voh to Ambani ki wajah se free data ho gya to UA-cam dekh kar pata chala Varna UA-cam kaun dekh raha tha
Mere gharwalo ne jo mujhe earings diye hain unse mere kaan latak gaye h
To mere husband meri saas ko kehte mmy shweta ke liye earings bnwane h dusre
To lehte iske mayke wale bech do ache nhi h inka koi kaam ni h bahut bakwas ki
To mere husband kehte gold jodna chahiye naki bechna chahiye
To meri saas gusse me ulta bolne lg gayi kehti hme ni pta jaise mrji bnwa hme to tumhare khane pine ke naam ke paise chahiye har mahine
To mere husband kehte mmy ap jealousy ku krti ho
Khud ki beti ko to kehti ho ye chij lele wo chij lele
Bahut ladayi hui fr saas sasur dono apni shop pe chle gye
Sham ko unka phn aya husband ke phn pe unhone baat ki lekin phn katna bhul gye
Maine utha liya phn mai call cut krne wali thi mujhe unki batein sun gayi
Mere bare me kehte ye badi gandi aurat h giri hui isko to chpede juttiyan marni pdegi tab sudhregi itna kuch bola main bta ni skti fr maine husband ko sunaya
Fr mere husband shop pe gaye fr pucha unse to mukr gaye kehte hm kisi or ki baat kar rhe the😢😢 bahut pareshan krte h kuch b khana bnati hu to kehte h kadwa lg rha h koi kaam psnd nhi krte
Divorce dedo apne husband ko
I am following the gray rock method to maintain peaceful balance in my life
My mother in law is too talkative i can't tolerate this 😢😢😢
Good video
Maine try kiya.. ki baate kam se kam kru..but wo mere husband ko bolte hai. Ki ma baat ni krti unse ..ni ho pata yr baat krna unse .. wo har baat oe taunt deti hai. Sabke samne acha dikhti hai..but hume pata hai ki wo kis chiz pe kya taunt de Rahi hai ..😢. Suffocation feel hona lgta hai .jis tarh se har chiz pe wo control rkhna chahti hai