Let's talk about leakage and markers....
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- Опубліковано 28 лип 2024
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As someone who has worked in a mental health facility I agree when Beau says that If someone tells you they're going to do something very bad to themselves or someone else, believe them. Also, if someone is giving all their stuff away , or was always very tense and anxious but suddenly seems calm and at ease, or talking to you like it might be the last time they ever do, know that something's about to happen.
Living in China, there was a spate of suicides at the university I was teaching at. Your talking points were in my lessons in the weeks following the tragedies. I included reminiscing on my list of things to watch out for. Talking about good (or bad) times can also be an indicator that something's not quite right. And turning away from things and activities formerly enjoyed - not eating favorite foods, not wearing favorite clothes and so on.
Ty for sharing this.
I am turning 69 soon, and have been through breast cancer. I AM beginning to give some things away, but that's because I'd like to enjoy my children's pleasure in them. Not contemplating anything except that life is uncertain.
Yup.
Neighbors' teenage son suddenly gave away many of his favorite possessions to friends at school over the course of just a couple days.
Then attempted suicide.
As someone who has suffered from depression since childhood and most recently diagnosed with both major depressive disorder and persistent depressive disorder, I agree. I've done some of those things myself, like attempting to give all my stuff away. People are too often dismissive thinking that just because someone says certain things that they are just seeking attention and to some degree that's true, but that doesn't mean ignore it. They are seeking attention for a reason. They want help or they want someone to stop them before they finally go thru with something. The things you mentioned are important warning signs for people to watch out for.
For clarification in this most recent school shooting, the young woman who received the message from the shooter DID try to make authorities aware after screen-shotting her dad. There was nothing more she could have done in the short time between receiving the message and the start of the massacre by the shooter. Definitely don't want any unfair guilt put upon someone in her position: receiving leakage.
I remember multiple times that the authorities were notified and nothing was done. Parklands ,for example, if I remember correctly.
@@totonow6955
And the 6yo who shot the teacher. This is often telegraphed and reported to authorities who do nothing.
@@i-love-comountains3850 exactly.
Beau, I worked with people with depression and many co-occurring stressors like poverty and abuse for 10 years, including in a mental hospital, and I cannot TELL you how grateful I am to you for this announcement. People, I beg you--take this seriously. I have seen it save lives.
10 years is a lot of time @letolethe3344. Thanks for the comment. Write me as soon as you get this.
Well howdy there Beau it's internet people again.
Positive vibes from New Hampshire, remember to be kind to each other and yourself during these trying times.
I always think this during the intro
@@tammystockley-loughlin7680 Thank you, Tammy! I know another kind Tammy, so I appreciate it.
We need to be reminded.....it's not an easy path. Please be kind to yourself, also. 💐💖
Today we are going to talk about what Beau is talking about.
😊❤
My mom for all her faults always told me, if someone tells you they are going to do something, believe them and don’t ever dare someone to do something you don’t want them to do.
Cruelty to animals is one of the diagnostic criteria for antisocial personality…used to be called sociopathy.
of which trump was known to do as a child, as well as hitting babies with rocks.
I always thought that (cruelty to living creatures) correlated with suicide, but things certainly have changed. I'm in my sixties, so the sociopathy defs have probably changed. Perhaps there is an intersection of violence against helpless children and suicide (due to the response). Most don't survive the 'fantasy' if implemented. Apologies to you Steve, I just wanted to agree with you.
Still is
Actually no, it is part of the criteria for Psychopathy and Malignant Narcissism, not APD.
@@tomnps1671ive struggled with self directed aggression a few times, cruelty to animals or kids is not one of the signs I can recall having. In fact it was quite the opposite, I had much stronger protective feelings in times of crisis. Leaking however, that is something I remember doing A LOT It came from trying to push back the trauma n feelings, trying to suppress it. I called them slips tho, like it slipped past the wall I was trying to hold those thoughts off with sometimes, they would build up so much and even happen even when no one was around just suddenly uncontrollably blurting out intention or desire but always towards myself
This reminds me of the suicide-prevention training I took a long time ago. They really drilled it into you that you should not be afraid to ask the direct question "have you considered suicide", "have you attempted suicide" etc. Most people are afraid that, by asking, you might be putting the idea in their head or somehow 'encouraging' them. If they're suicidal, they will have already thought about it and run through scenarios in their mind. You asking the question will never be the thing that 'tips them over' so to speak.
It's very tempting to gloss over a difficult topic and divert to something safer if the question is oblique. A direct question is much more painful to dodge, and shows that the person asking is considering that possibility.
They're probably expecting a very negative response to a confession, so a direct conversation will be far less stressful than making them deflect from the topic (also they might avoid interaction if every conversation is emotionally draining, which is very isolating). Ask directly, and if I think they're lying by saying that they're not, I would (as a non-expert) accept the lie and talk about why you're concerned and try to help anyway (they'll probably just double down if you press further).
This applies to pretty much anything a person wants to avoid discussing. You can draw a lot of parallels between this and someone avoiding a confession of love, or hiding an anxiety/stressor they feel ashamed of. Suicide is just a more severe matter.
Many mass murders occur after displays of aberrant behavior are ignored., but if guns weren't so readily available, these calls for help might be addressed before the worst possible outcome.
Exactly. We don't have an adequate mental health system, but without the gun availability, the damage to themselves and others is severely restricted, so there's more time to address the issues. It's so frustrating to see politicians care so little when one change could help so many people so much, and wouldn't even be expensive (except to their own bribes, that is, campaign contributions).
Preaching the truth
Early computer hackers used to refer to a similar phenomenon to leakage. They called it "Boast, Strut and Brag" -- the idea that people who are about to do something illicit, or who actually got away with something illicit, often cannot help but tell other people about their self-assessed brilliance or ability to get away with anything. And that's often what gets them prison time.
Someone comes to mind, but that’s off subject.
Why am I thinking of someone right now...?
Why brag about an illegal deed, even if you get away?
@@SarafinaSummers In a word, ego. "I'm so clever and I want people to _recognize_ my cleverness!"
Typically they assume that they are far more anonymous online than they actually are. Or they overestimate their skills at remaining hidden, and leave bread crumbs.
If you are the kind of personality who needs validation, it's impossible to keep your mouth shut if you do something amazing. And even if you aren't that kind, can still be difficult.
Few people can pull the perfect crime. And that would be steal enough to live independently for a lifetime and cut all ties with friends and family and move far away and set up a new life and don't talk.
I am reminded of a time in high school where a friend shared with me, somewhat indirectly, that he was planning suicide. I told the school councilor once is sunk in what he was saying and he got a chance to talk it out with them. We didn't talk about it after, but years later he credited me with saving his life. I think the general rule to be taken for people who are at risk of committing violence toward themselves or toward others is to listen people who are in pain, and not to blow them off.
Columbine happened just a couple years before I got to middle school (grades 6-8, age 11 to 13/14 for non-us folks) and I spent many a day fantasizing about school shootings starting around then. I was a horribly bullied kid, bullied at school, bullied (abused) at home, neurodivergent as hell, depressed to shit. On a "good" day, it was fantasizing about saving the school from a shooter and dying in the process. On a bad one, I had the gun. I did write little stories about it as a cry for help that nobody cared to listen to (similar things happened in high school -- lots of cries for help that nobody gave enough of a fuck to notice) and I know that I wouldn't have done it, but I so desperately wanted to make my bullies feel sorry for treating me so badly, and that was what was in the news. Sometimes I wonder if I would have followed through one day, if the stars had aligned just right. I think I got lucky that my stress response is "freeze" and when things got especially bad for me I just didn't leave my bed. If it had been "fight" I can't help but wonder, you know? (To be fair, I didn't have signs of clinically antisocial behavior or cruelty to animals or any of the proper markers, but still)
I've got better coping skills for anger and fear now, and a much better support system, and am in a much better place, so no, I'm not going to be the next one on the news. (I will also never own a gun for this and many other reasons) But from the perspective of someone who may have followed through in an alternate universe, accounting for like confirmation bias and subjectivity: leakage is a thing. A cry for help is a cry for help, even if what they're begging for isn't the core problem.
EDIT: just wanted to add, I'm AFAB non-binary, and was gender non-conforming even fairly young without realizing it. Not so much a brooding teen boy as a desperate, scared little queer "girl"
I'm very happy that you didn't end up doing anything that current you would regret. Mental health problems are so prevalent in schools nowadays and most don't know how to deal with it. When I was in high school, I could point to maybe 15% of a given class as people I could think of as "definitely not facing major mental health problems" with most probably dealing with some, but managing it. And I lived in a relatively safe, suburban area, admittedly one with lots of POC. Frankly, the amount of mental health investment needed for young people is probably far more than most are even aware of and certainly willing to spend, but any real effort would mitigate the crisis for sure.
I'm very sorry you went through all this. I'm glad you're in a better place. Please accept whatever gesture of caring you find most appropriate from a random Internet weirdo. :)
I can identify with this. In high school, I was in a very bad way in my home life, and one semester I found a bizarre outlet in a creative writing class. I wrote short stories that were a combination of disturbing and absurd/hysterical, and yeah there was some violence. I would cackle gleefully while reading them to some of my other classmates. This was a few years before Columbine, and for years afterward I wondered what would have happened to me if I'd done the same thing later on. It was _absolutely_ a cry for help, and the stories were only an outlet... I've always been viscerally against violence. Still, I'd be lying if I said I never had dark thoughts.
Like the OP, I absolutely have coping strategies today, and never acted out on those feelings. It would have meant an enormous amount at the time to have had a trustworthy mental health counselor to talk to. At home, I absolutely would have gotten the "what are you, some kind of p****?" treatment. It just seems abundantly obvious to me that more needs to be done in this regard. I'm glad to see younger generations becoming gradually more accepting of mental wellness.
I sincerely hope that you're in a better place now having embraced your true nature. All the best.
Neurodivergent here too, believe me I get it
You talking about leakage reminded me of my high school US history class. AP class, so we did projects about things that happened in various decades. One of my friends was, like me, a musical theatre nerd, so we decided to do as many of our projects as we could based on the Stephen Sondheim musical Assassins. When we hit the 1970s, we chose to do our project on Sara Jane Moore, one of the women who attempted and failed to assassinate President Ford. And researching her... she's like the textbook definition of leakage. Called the FBI to tell them what she planned to do. Called repeatedly until someone came and confiscated her firearm. The next day, she dropped her kid at school, sped to a shop that sold firearms, bought a pistol and ammo, which she kept loose in her handbag, and sped back to the scene of her attempted crime. Didn't get pulled over, despite passing a few cops. Loaded her weapon, then milled around on the sidewalk near the door the president was going to exit through at the venue he'd visited. Anyone who asked what she was doing, she flat out told her plan. No one believed her or thought to tell anyone in authority until the president did step outside and she pulled the firearm from her bag. Only then did a passerby realize what she was doing and shoved her arm, so the shot went wide, and that's when people paid attention. When we were reading old newspapers, we were flabbergasted by how many chances people had to stop her, and how clearly she telegraphed her intent. And how nobody took her seriously about something that dire. But based on how things go today with incidents involving firearms, it doesn't seem that surprising anymore. And that makes me really sad and kind of sick.
Oh sweet goddess above w h a fucking t? No way in hell!?!??!!!
Great story, thanks for sharing that.
to be fair i think that is some kind of bias or blinders we have as humans.. not listening. not comprehending. not taking action unless that person is actually doing harm to others right now. a lot of people just can't grasp the significance of the message. until it may be too late. if only we lived in a different kind of society where mental health was taken seriously and people weren't left to struggle with demons alone.. and we prioritized helping one another.. 🤷♀️
I've heard it said that an attempt at suicide is a cry for help. Leakage sounds like a similar phenomenon.
You're not wrong. The cry for help is obscured by the perspective that if we ignore the attention seeking behavior, we will extinguish it. Mainly because those in power believe that they are acting like they would. (Not all of those in power, but more often the aggressive ones). They only see a conditioning lens. The cry for help is "does anyone see me, or see my pain?" It's just a thought..
I'm personally okay and safe.
Even in many cases of suicide (attempted or successful) 'leakage" like this occurs before the act.
The thing is, while depression and similar issues are constant, long-term obstacles, suicidal tendencies are short-term episodes that come in waves. It's a long, slow process where increasingly frequent and severe urges wear down and eventually overwhelm the victim's ability to prevent themselves from acting on them; but the actual urges themselves last minutes (maybe up to 15 or so in the most severe cases) at a time. This is how and why those with suicidal tendencies almost always have their means of committing it at hand (it was prepared during the last several episodes and was hidden in shame and fear when the urge passed, but is now easier to access because it wasn't properly put away) just like the maps/ plans/ preparations of those with urges to harm others instead of themselves can be found in/ as semi-intentional signals "leaking" out for help.
This is also why so many more suicide attempts by female victims are classified as "Calls For Help/ Attention" than male attempts. For some reason (Biological, sociological, economic, I have no idea) a much higher percentage of suicide attempts by girls and women involve overdose on some form of drug, but the onset for the drugs effects leaves time for the suicidal urge to begin to end so their more healthy sense of self-preservation can actually, physically call for help; while a much higher percentage of suicide attempts by boys and men involve more physically violent methods that prevent them from calling for help even if they outlive/ survive the attempt itself (hanging, gunshot, and other particularly unpleasant to consider methods).
Maybe it is less common now but when I was younger people used to say that people talk about it (suicide) never do it. I think it was just a way to ignore cries for help.
@@BoojumFed 100% correct.
Suicide is not a cry for help. Suicide is someone realizing that no help is coming and deciding to help themselves. People generally don't become suicidal rapidly; it's something that builds gradually as you face stressor after stressor, try to find relief and it doesn't help, ask for help and everyone else is busy or it's too expensive, etc. Unfortunately, unless someone else is able and willing to help you solve your problems, the only way for anyone to make their life better is to expend more effort, and people become suicidal when they're exhausted and can't endure any longer.
Me and my friends used to drop lots of hints that we were not okay, eventually we got help, supported each other and made it through the school year, none of us had it easy but talking about it amongst ourselves helped us feel less alone. People at the end of their rope will try everything to improve their own situation but when they lose hope and don't see a future of anything but misery then yeah thoughts of ending it start piling up until the decision is made to end it and not everyone is so cordial to quietly die by themselves but most people are. suicides are very common and we need to stop driving people out of hope. It's literally cheaper to help them and it's the right thing to do too.
basbekjeni~ How are you now? Thinking of you and hoping you are doing OK....
Preach!
Wise is the man who has stood on the edge of his own abyss, and turned back.
I’m glad you made it through that. You have insight that may eventually help others. As you grow older perhaps think of sharing and helping some others. Hang in there.
Finding a Community that works through the process is key.
Getting sucked down the Rabbit Hole of Chaos & Confusion, at tender & vulnerable stages - is what has been destroying society for decades.
Add trauma, the isolation of the pandemic, drugs/alcohol/steroids and the onslaught of the 🦊 type Propaganda Misinformation/Disinformation Media MACHINE to the mix and BOOM!
We're All Survivors of a type of Civil War and we need to Help Each Other to Thrive. ❤
This is helpful information thanks Beau
At this point ( imagine) is all we have....let's work harder to make our dreams of safety become reality
Great shirt!
Dream (imagine) in one hand, and poop in the other, and then see which one fills up faster.
One very serious concern I have with this subject is that if people intend to use leakage as a prevention tool, it's very very important to mitigate the damage of false positives, as there will likely be more false positives than true positives.
Back when I was in high school, leakage as you describe it was somewhat common, and I personally knew over a dozen students (about 10% of my grade at the time) who regularly engaged in that sort of rhetoric and hyperbole, or even detailed hypotheticals, in the presence of myself and other classmates. None of them ever escalated to real violence.
I'm not sure how much the climate in schools has changed, and it probably varies drastically from school to school, but it's very important to remember that all students who show these signs are still children and people, who need love and respect and care and support.
Seeing or treating these kids as threats or criminals is likely to do more harm than good, in most cases.
Yeah, very much this. I mentioned above the Zero Tolerance policies after Columbine that probably did little good and certainly did a lot of harm.
It's definitely a good tool, but it's got to be handled very carefully, since there will be far, far more false positives.
How about we don't treat them as criminals, we treat them as people who are needing help???
Thank you for all you do and all I learn from you. Hugs from Maryland.
And Arizona! 🏜
Amsterdam 👋
Boston, MA! 👋🏽
Thanks from Flint, MI
Teachers know this. Teachers are trained to be mandatory reporters for everything from suspected hunger, suspected abuse, to any talk of harm to self or others.
Leakage isn’t necessarily a *conscious* act - multiple stressors, especially prolonged and/or pressurized, and, well, we can leak more than we’re aware of. Not uncommon to notice & conclude we’re losing it, so a change in attitude, focus, actions could be another observable marker - if the observer has picked up on the leakage
Excellent stuff again, Beau
Right. With this stuff happening and these responses on one's mind, it takes special effort to keep it entirely to oneself and special effort is not something someone has much to spare under circumstances like those. But the people around have their own shit too and if there were an abundance of help available, well, chances are the person wouldn't be helplessly under multiple stressors in the first place.
Quite right, Jeff…it seems like an artifact of our modern obsession with lone-wolf-style ‘independence’; contrary to some views, humans tend to do their best in connection or association with others. The more isolated, disconnected we become , the more likely it is that fears and distortions can take root, and lead us even deeper into alienation
In regards to things like this, I appreciate knowing about the work of people like Gabor Maté.
I recently counseled my own highschool sons to keep an eye out for kids who seem alone, and go talk to them. I said that you never know what they have going on at home and they might need to feel some kindness...
My question is whether or not authorities who are told that a person is 'leaking' this type of intention are able to do anything about it or will they just say 'Well, we can't respond until someone actually does something".
Maybe not police, but I think telling someone like the potential shooter's families, social circle, or even school authorities (if the person is young enough) might help.
@@oldmanramblingatclouds Right. At that point, we've got someone who needs help - it ought to be a relief to get them that instead of waiting for a body count.
I commented to an earlier post on this topic. Was the girlfriend of the Nashville shooter brave and right to try to save her? Absolutely, she's a real friend. There's a carrot and stick, though. If you know and act on your knowledge, you get the carrot. If you know and don't act on your knowledge ....
Well, imagine the young friend sitting with her parents and law enforcement after a few days discussing the contents and call logs of her dead friend's phone after law enforcement digs into its root cause analysis.
@@oldmanramblingatclouds school authorities are notorious for not listening to students, especially with this sort of thing.
It can also be weaponized by bullies when school administrators do take it seriously.
With cops, that is definitely a thing they'll say/do. What states need to do is come up with a legal framework (and probably someone with authority to take someone into custody for mental health things versus cops who will lean on "probable cause") so someone can at least be assessed. The biggest problem is until someone actually DOES something, if they are an adult, they can't be involuntarily put into a mental health facility. If they're kids, it will depend if they need the parents' permission or a court to overrule potentially neglectful parents as they do with healthcare at times.
72 hour psych holds are available for violent ideation. We need enough mental health facilities to allow this to be used more; and a paradigm shift to remove the stigma of receiving acute mental health care.
That will only work when we have universal healthcare and it includes psych services.
Our politicians will say it's "mental health" but vote down every bill to improve it. 😡
not every state has the 72 hour hold. In Pennsylvania, eg, the person even if demonstrating a danger to self or others, has to allow themselves to be evaluated. That was many years ago, so not sure if true today.
Good point, Hattie.👏 👏 👏
Sonja, all one needs for proof of what you're saying is to look at the voting records.
The wait (under guard by the responding police officer who must also wait) until the person at the Emergency room is evaluated and recommended for a hold and then for a psych bed somewhere in middle Tennessee to become available is often longer than 72 hours. In Nashville, TN it may take until midweek for all the weekend emergencies to be processed. By Thursdays, most of the previous weekends' stragglers have calmed down on their own and just get sent home in cabs. Unannounced much of the time. Without reassurance or followup ("confidentiality") for terrified and helpless family members.
Good morning lovelies
✌🏼💚😊
Heya! Hope for good days for you all around! I had a nice day myself.
Tenny ! 🤎🐪
Good evening all. Wales checking in!
@@alumpyhorse lumpy!
Beau, it should be THE message that comes with most of these. Not to blame, but to learn. 👍💙💖🥰✌
Good one Beau, thanks for the info thanks for KEEPING THE SCENE ALIVE!
Aloha Beau 🤙
I work as a city bus driver. Every time we encounter someone who exhibits these behaviors we are told that it's not our problem. The common theme from management is. "Collect your pay and ignore the rest." Many drivers choose to not report it because more often than not we will be punished for saying anything.
Unfortunately there have been many times that someone has seen this and tried to report it but authorities don’t take it seriously or they say we can’t help until they do something! Our society is broken. We don’t make safe places for those who are struggling.
Going by the title i thought this video was going to be about something completely different. Possibly the barges that broke loose. Great information as usual Beau. Thanks again.
and despite this information existing, there was that case in Texas I think of the girl who got suspended from her middle school for sharing that she'd overheard another student say "don't come to school tomorrow" to one of his friends.
See something! Say something! Also hear something report it! It may be an imposition but it may also save lives!
👋
Thanks Beau 😊
🖖 nanoo nanoo friend of mine 🖖
@@tenebrousoul9368 nanoo nanoo my friend 👋😊💙💙🤗
How do!!! IQ!!!
@@beeamendola 👋😊💙💙😁
@@iquestion8493 Love those blue hearts!!!
G'day Beau Peeps 😊
😀🐪
👋
As soon as we stop celebrating death (erecting statues to it, painting it in all its gory detail, sculpting paeons to it, glorifying it in song, or giving it 2 minutes on the evening news} we will live this nightmare over and over. Fame is as fleeting as we are. Celebrate life.
I'm not 100% on this (not having studied depressive symptoms like these in any real depth) but it sounds like the "leakage" as appearing in cases of violent outbursts like these is almost exactly like the "leakage" surrounding cases of self-harm; that is, subtle, semi-intentional attempts to let people know what's going on as the deterioration of the mind's ability to prevent acting on the ever increasing harmful urges nears a point of no return...
Be kind, people. Humans are far more fragile than we like to imagine ourselves to be.
Truth! That last paragraph hits hard. We truly do need more kindness in this world. 💜
I have a belief that the main difference between those who take their own lives and those who are able to take the lives of others is if they're outwardly violent or not. Everything else overlaps heavily. The multiple stressors hitting at once, leakage, etc.... if you look at self-harm, suicide rates, and shooting rates together you'll see that they all go up at the same time. What makes the USA's population of suffering people more deadly is the access to firearms and gun culture. Contact your friends in some way for a fun night. It might help a lot more than it'd take to do it. Stay Curious.
@@liquidmeme6019 A lot of the mass shooting events are also suicides. Whether directly - shooting themselves at the end or indirectly, by continuing until the cops finish them.
Murder-suicide events basically.
I think for a lot of people it's not an attempt at prevention - it's asking people to recognize that you're in such severe pain that you want to hurt yourself and wanting them to actually help you with that pain, not just "help" you by keeping you from acting on those urges. Imagine someone telling you they're about to wet their pants - they're not asking you to plug their urethra; they're asking you to let them use the employee bathroom. Yet plugging the leak is what mental health professionals focus on since they know most of the suffering inflicted on people is beyond the reach of medicine. It's so much easier to take away someone's poison pills than it is to, say, get their family to help them care for their severely mentally impaired child or get the child into a free full-time care home.
Go Beau
Please cover the RESTRICT act and how damaging it can be.
☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽☝🏽
I think you might be surprised at his take. I'm pretty sure Beau isn't going to say anything until he's had a chance to read the whole bill, not just scary sounding excerpts.
@@argledotorg Which I'm fine with. I want the whole picture.
@@argledotorgor even waiting until some version of the bill makes it through the Senate committee, if it even does
greets from 🇩🇪💪
Guten tag!
From Sept 11, 2001: "We don't need to learn how to land." Said at a FL flight training school.
Well howdy there Beau again!
This stuff really needs to be taught in elementary and beyond. We all need to be aware of these type of behaviors.
*"When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time"* - _Maya Angelou_
I'm going to hazard a guess that the so-called "please stop me behavior" is actually a "I want to share behavior" instead. A little story follows, I had a friend in middle and high school who I stopped from becoming a mass shooter. This is because he very much told me how he felt, and it wasn't one time, it built up, in other words it wasn't one time here it is, it's a it builds up until it gets to that point. During this time he would share his feelings with me, being his only real friend. The one indicator that he does not share is he was never violent to animals, and there wasn't domestic violence on his part, which I consider part of the same thought patterns. In fact it wasn't DV against him either, or in his family at all, but what there was was neglect, and a extremely traumatic event that happened. I'm not going to go into the details, this happened long ago and would not be easily searched, but it is not my story to tell. What I can tell you is that had I not intervened there would have been not only a mass shooting but also likely IEDs. What we now call IEDs. You have no idea how unusual this was at the time I'm talking about, it might have happened but we didn't know about it, yet I saw the danger signals. Had I not been there, or if I had ignored it, there would have been a tragedy. While he doesn't fit the exact markers, I'd say there's sufficient similar causal agents involved to say that they supplanted what we normally call markers. There's a lot more to the story, much of it I cannot say because it is not for me to say it, but also because don't want to be writing a book on UA-cam
One of the biggest eye openers when I started seminary in 1988 was visiting shelters and seeing work clothes, sometimes even suits, hanging from the beds. In addition to the people who are already homeless, there are many more people, especially in recent years, who are just one paycheck away from being homeless. I liked when you made the point that homelessness is not a character flaw, it’s a lack of money. Thank you for all your well researched, thoughtful commentary on issues that really matter.
Thanks for sharing this very important information!! Like a lot of your videos, this should be a national Public Service Announcement. ❤
It's awfully hard to read the Loner when they're exercising their disposition. However, one would have to assume the population of those exposed to said, "Leakage," whether they know it or not, is growing at what is more than an alarming rate, but there's only one degree between boiling and not. Anyway, thanks for doing what you do.
I had a buddy at work tell me: "You're on the list I would call" and I was like 'what list, why'. They said: "The list I would call to tell them to not come to work if I ever decided to do something at work, I'm not planning on it now, but if I ever did, you'd be on the list"
As far as I know, they are doing MUCH better emotionally now. I did believe them, but what do you actually do with a statement like that?
Ask them what is happening at work that makes them feel like this?
Listen.
@@faithworldleader6891 Oh, I knew who was driving those feelings. It was the kind of person who is very hard to communicate with because they already know better than you, and is always ready to get loud and confrontational to explain why you're wrong.
I don't remember exactly what I said in the moment, but I do remember that I was able to get my buddy to calm down; since then I've thought a lot about that kind of person who is hard to communicate with.
Thank you again Beau and Crew.
Thank you Beau. Excellent point. Follow up though: What is done with leakage information needs to be thought through. I have a friend from when we were back in school who was picked on a ton. In middle or high school, one day he exploded verbally a bit & because he was upset said something about wishing he could come back & hurt a lot of people. I don't know exactly what was said, but if I were a teacher, I would report it as a red flag. Sadly for my friend, he was treated horribly by the school for one frustrated outburst, was put in remedial classes & long term detention, etc., all which just built more resentment. And he's a brilliant guy & in reality had no plans to hurt anyone. What he really needed was support & counseling & defense against those picking on him. Instead, he was scapegoated. Point: Tracking flags can be essential, but we need to help people, not make them more likely to want to hurt people.
Anal leakage is very important. Never ignore.
Hmm, perhaps "wash your hands, don't touch your face, stay home" could become "watch, listen, speak up".
I have read the friend was concerned, called Suicide prevention and they told her to call the police, she did but by the time she got through and did report it and the police responded it wasn't soon enough. Close but some 20 min. too late.
What is the one thing all mass shooters have in common? Access to guns
I have known more than one person to "leak" like this and have even alerted authorities (who were unable or unwilling to do anything). Nothing came of it, thank God, at least not yet.
How in the flying eff does ANYONE receive that kind of message from a friend or family member and blow it off as inconsequential?!?!?
If you see something, say something. If you hear something, and you’re a cop, freaking listen!
Once again you are educating us. Understanding phycological behavior is important. Thank you
Schools need to do a better job dealing with bullying
Society as a whole needs to improve on that. School, social, and work all have their bullies and "influencers".
@@bonniebrush94 true but I believe if a child is bullied all through school it makes a lasting effect on children into adulthood
@@suehazelton2617 Very true.
I pray you can get Police & FBI to hear you. I understand Nashville shooter let it be known what she intended. I saw interview with frustrated friend she told she was going to die today who then tried to tell Law Enforcement but she got alot of the run around.😮
I read a story that the quick police response to the Nashville shooter was because they had let someone know that they were about to do something final, and that person put in a call to police.
The article I read said the police told that friend to call the non-emergency number and then didn't get back to her until 5 hours after the shooting.
I am on the side of "Why did they feel this way and take this action?"
Not the
"Outlaw every tool in the world, because people use it wrong!"
I feel horrible that my leaders would rather "stir the pot" vs taking "swift action to prevent this"
Why not do both? We should work on the psychology, intervention, etc. and the easy availability of automatic weapons with big magazines.
In a society that listens but does not hear, this is going to be a growing problem.
She didn't want to be stopped, she sent the message to her friend two minutes before pulling the trigger.
Thank you for the PSA.
Hello Beau's internet people!
Thanks! Not sure how I missed this one on its first run.
omg that's the former sibling I've actually been waiting for someone to call me about that monster
The fact they could go to all those stores and buy firearms blows my mind , hell you cant do that with a perscription.
In my town, Target put all the vitamins, OTC remedies, deodorant, and a bunch of other items in locking cabinets, making it a 10-20 min minimum to get that one item, if at all. It's easier to buy a gun in Texas than my gummy vites at the local Target. 🤬
In GA, TX and I think in FL, people walk into the quarterly gun show and buy pistols and ARs with cash typically without presenting identification. And more it's legal to conceal the pistols upon walking out of the convection center. 😓
@@bobclarke2242 That's crazy. Thanks gun lobby. Most people in this country don't need a gun, are responsible enough/sane enough to own one.
@@bobclarke2242 Yeah ,I know its just depressing that they would catch me double using a perscription for antibiotics before they would buying 5 guns in one day from different shops.
@@bobclarke2242 I want to confirm and dispel myths about gun shows in Texas.
Most tables are rented by federally licensed dealers.
At those tables a prospective purchaser will fill out all required ATF and go through a National background check.
There are also tables rented by individuals.
These tend to be older firearms collectors who are selling off museum piece quality or wannabe museum piece quality type firearms.
Think old big bore hunting rifles or collectable weapons.
It would be extremely rare to find any modern weapon on the table.
By modern anything newer than 1980.
The prices will be very high.
Everybody thinks there collection is worth more than it really is.
These weapons are private sale no background check required but also highly unlikely to be used in a crime.
Collectors tend to be older and outside the norms for the peoole who commit bad acts.
Occasionally there would be a person with a rifle or pistol for sale walking around who did nit rent a table.
These are also private sales but the gun show staffs discourage them because they cut into sales made by dealers who paid for a table space.
It is possible to buy a firearm at a gun show without a background check.
Although the weapon in question might be questionable.
There are also ATF, and local police at these shows.
Some of them are undercover to watch for people breaking the rules.
Well said.
I know that is how some suicidal people cry for help but not ask for it. If they say something about hurting them selves and people would either use that as a cry for help or as their final "test" to see if they matter to anyone.
I did that. I'd never hurt another but I didn't how else to express that I needed help.
The leakage should be taken seriously at all times. Always err on the side of caution. These people do want to be stopped. No one wants to be a monster so please help them. They need the help and we need to be there to help them through it. The more we help, the more we can understand the stressers they face and help them to de-stress through therapy or just by listening without judgment. Give them a fair chance to stop them from making a horrible decision.
Thanks for this one, Beau. It is more important than we realize.
I think it's more complicated. The question is how many hints that might seem like this leakage are there from people who are nowhere near committing an act? If you're getting hundreds of false positives for every real signal, reacting to them all might do more harm than good. Way back after Columbine that led to Zero Tolerance policies that treated any hints of violence as signs of the next mass killer. That didn't help.
@@jeffmacdonald9863 I remember that. It's just frustrating that nothing seems to change but the body count 😕
In my child's school, they try to do this for suicide. If someone says they're going to do it, immediate action is taken. Ideally. Threats to the school have resulted in lockdowns as well. Keeping up this vigilance is vital!
"Multiple stressors" sounds like the last 7 years or so in general.
Plus we are in a crisis of people believing that only violence can solve their problems.
If this calamity could have been stopped by giving that poor soul a big bear hug and a bracing cup of tea , I shall be quite angry.
Howdy peeps!
👍🤗💙
❤
👋🐪
👋
Thanks for the thought
At first I thought this was about Sharpies that leak ink on your hand. Imagine my confusion.
Hello again
Michigan is about to pass legislation requiring background checks and a red flag law. 🙏
Thank you for the update on warning signs
Years ago, a friend of one of my kids was hospitalized for her mental health. I took my kid to visit her. Later my creative kid wrote a story for class about her friend. She turned it in, and her school called me worried for my child. Fortunately, I knew about the story. Remain grateful they cared enough to call me. My kid was fine but they didn’t know that
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
hi
💙🤗👍
If Tennessee didn't have red flag laws this wouldn't have happened. He's parents tried to get help. And cops hands were tied 😢😡
Would you recommend a "mental health check" call to the police if you've seen signs. First step is recognize the signs when you see them. What's the next step?
- Cathy (&, Steve), Ottawa/Bytown/Pimisi
At a young age, I missed the leakage from my sweet gf who committed suicide later that evening. NOW I KNOW
I'm so sorry. That must be hard. I hope you know that it was in no way your fault.
Or she hid it from you on purpose because she didn't want to be stopped. That is also very real.
Yes. I agree. Well said.
✌️ Beau
My son said today a bomb threat was called in. Six police showed up. They spent the day monitoring cameras and coordinating police. It takes so much resources and drains everyone.
Point of information....the message sent to her friend was sent minutes before the shooting.
Perfect shirt as usual 💕
"...but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll set the building on fire..." -Milton Waddams, leakage, circa 1999
I've been involved in animal rescue almost my entire 49 years on this planet. I regret not keeping track of how many of those folks went on to do even worse things because I chose to remember those who learned to be better, particularly a few who knew they were wrong, knew something was wrong with them & turned themselves in so they could get help....and it's not a whole lot.
Markers and leakage occur with those considerin suicide, too. We do need to report the signs we hear and treat them as if the worst could be not only possible but probable.
The trick, as it often is, is to take steps in advance of the tragedy that don't end up taking away fundamental civil rights without due process. It's the "red flag law" problem.
Gun rights should not be considered fundamental civil rights. Guns are not a tool. Guns are a problem.
@@shoveI Yes, more mental health care, better pay, fighting racism, sexism, anti-queer, anti-trans hate. Teach empathy! Those are great ways to fix this.
I fear red flag laws will get used as a form of swatting, especially with transgender folks. I don't want to have the cops break down my door at 2:00 am because I'm armed and transgender as if that was the same as "armed and dangerous."
Well, there's no need to jump straight to "arrest". The first steps could be compassion and understanding from counseling. Of course a little background on whether or not they have guns registered in their name WOULD help, if the laws weren't so incredibly backwards here regarding that.
This is coming from someone who has had to deal with people with severe mental illness. It is imperative that everyone of us be able to identify those 'markers' and then know how to respond to them. I did not know the seriousness of listening to those 'leaks' and did not take action in time. I have to live with the results for the rest of my life. PLEASE, learn how to identify mental illness and just as important, learn how to respond/react when you get information. Mental illness is rampant today, its not going away. We are in the 'new normal' now, it would be best to become knowledgeable about a major feature of our time.
When America finally Has A Billion Guns then we'll be safe, and . . .have Health Care.
When someone shows you who they are….believe them! Then help them !
Great work! Thank you
How do we get lawmakers publish a list of there donors ???? And make it available to the public.
How to get laws to limit campaign donations ???
Thank You Beau.
I tell everyone to listen to you. Become a well informed person.
You are the best I have ever heard of.
I’m 68 years old. Democratic By Choice.
The Open Secrets website is helpful.
I almost wonder if we'll reach a saturation point, because these incidents are becoming so common that there's no longer any long term notoriety from following through. It's like, oh, that was so last-week.