DEFINITELY Evidence of prejudice. I've always said the rules of prose are totally misplaced and full of condescending excuses. I used to get in arguments over it with my sophomore year english teacher all of the time...and he was totally racist. I used to have to tell him that he was "totally proof that Thomas Jefferson was totally gay!" I Am an -ing man and I also assert that the entire lexicon of prose is meant to imply philosophy; not where you place the action or emphasis of your sentence. But this would require an education and not just inundation to previous egoist ideology. (Not personal to You, just the way it is.) Oh wait; By the Gods of Prose, now just been inspired, have I! How about "Whick Whack"...or is it Wick-Wack!!!
1. cut your "-ing" verbs 2. avoid adverbs 3. avoid dialogue tags 4. no abstract words (some, thing, it was) 5. no overspecifics (holding in hand, shrugging the shoulders, blinking the eyes) 6. no unneccessary adjectives 7. no overused/weasel words 8. would/had constructions. if you need it, introduce it at the start of the paragraph and then go into simple past 9. don't use as/while illogically 10. no convuluted phrasing 11. no suddenly/started/began 12. no up/down (Stood up, stat down) 13. avoid to be words 14. avoid to me/ to myself 15. avoid realisations (realised, felt, saw) 16. avoid unplanned repetition 17. no passive voice in general 18. telling when its already implied 19
Portgas D Ann Prose is the actual writing, and the use of words in your book, rather than the plot, characters, etc. Ex: "The boy ran up the stairs angrily." Vs. "The boy stormed up the stairs, kicking dust with his feet in rage." Same story and character, but the prose is different.
It's proven that when you put a text in another sort of... format, or font, you can better see the mistakes. That's why many fanfiction authors notice mistakes only after they've published the story to whichever site they use.
Font size works too. I usually enlarge mine as much as possible and suddenly the mistakes start jumping out at me. Honestly I can't edit on paper. I can't afford buying all the paper and a print, all the ink etc. I'm not planning on being published so I couldn't justify it.
Absolutely true. I resize my Word docs to the book trim size...and boom...it's like editing a different manuscript. Things that I never noticed stick out like a sore thumb.
Sometimes I wish i could., but editing is far more painful to me when the sentences and paragraphs are poor, than when there's actual quality in them. Also I like getting lost in the visualization and analysis of the current word, so it takes longer time for me to write, but I manage to paint the picture right and draw far more pleasure from the process itself while doing it ^^
My story started as a creative writing piece for a year 12 assignment. I fell in love with the characters and story and decided I wanted to create a world in which they exist. It’s been 2 years and I still go back to that piece as some of the best prose I’ve ever written. I’m still writing my first draft and it’s only now that I’ve FINALLY come to realise that my first draft isn’t supposed to be that great. It’s supposed to be shitty and the editing is where the magic happens. It took me far too long to realise this
I watched this video five years ago and it SIGNIFICANTLY changed the way I write. I implemented this advice and saw dramatic improvement in my poetry and prose overnight. Thanks for this!!!
I love the info that you give in your videos. You clearly know your craft. BUT please!! Could you slow down the pace a bit, and make the transitions more obvious? For example, here you say “18 writing hacks”, but I lost track after the first 2 or 3. If you could just pause between key points and stress each of them when you first mention them, your videos would be more viewer-friendly. I know that you don’t like to make things too obvious because you believe in trusting the audience’s ability to understand. But when it comes to tutorials and tips, the easier to understand, the better. Remember that information is much more digestible when clearly segmented than when presented as a continuous stream. So the best you can do is treat each of your tips like it’s a PowerPoint bullet point in a presentation to a slow audience. Mention each number, announce the transition, “now tip number 5”. If possible, show the number on screen. I guarantee, your viewers won’t feel like you’re insulting their intelligence, if that’s what you fear. They will thank you
@@silb1350 No duh! I tried that. I don't know Gregg Shorthand, so I couldn't keep up then, either. There's a lot more good info in this video than what most people can write fast enough to note it all.
"I know 'it was' is basically the weakest way you could possibly start a sentence." "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." ~1984. How about starting a book? :D Good advice, and though it's clear a lot of writing advice is debatable, it's very useful to know both sides so you can form your own opinions and writing style from them. What's that saying, learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
Hyong Leppy Punchier isn't always better, muscle man. By putting your most interesting detail in the middle of the sentence, you've made the 'April day' detail lacklustre filler, all while losing the intrigue of the twist. Pacing is key, friend. I know it's a month late but I had to.
Mahoole Magic School I'd like to know why it changes the importance of a bright cold April day. It has two adjectives, so how likely will someone forget that detail?
3:39 The “everyone’s style will just be the same” argument always peeved me off. The nuts and bolts of concise, good writing have so, so, SO little to do with authorial style. Stephen King and Noel Gaiman both know how to avoid unfitting adverbs and use active voice, but you couldn’t possibly mistake one with the other. You’re not going to lose the forest by trimming the rotten branches.
I first learned the "ing" thing from resume writing. An -ing word is something you are doing and maybe you'll succeed or maybe you'll fail. An -ed is something you did, it is an accomplishment.
I'm an engineering student with a long-time passion for writing. Wish I could have studied this instead. Your videos are amazing. It really makes a difference learning from someone who's clearly so passionate.
Thanks for all of the wonderful information Shaelin. I'm a self-taught writer, and have never taken any creative writing classes. All of my writing education has been from UA-cam and online writing forums. I am so thankful for fiction vloggers such as yourself. I also subscribe to Jenna Moreci and Vivien Reis for their views on writing fiction. I am currently in the world building phase for the fantasy series my writing partner and I are working on. If you have any tips for building a fantasy world (particularly a large urban metropolis which will be our primary setting) I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
Gamerdaddy428 I would suggest taking your time and making sure you know everything you can about the world. You need to treat the world like a character in itself when you are writing a fantasy. I've made the mistake of jumping into fantasy world without knowing everything and that's one of the reasons why I had to rewrite the novel. Glad to know there are self taught writers out there. I hope you continue following your dream and that my advice helped a little. I' was actually planning on making a video about it sometime.
Kenzie Staley Thanks for your advice! We are working in stages. My partner and I have the protagonist and antagonist character profiles done and now moving onto world building. We have some world history and political stuff written but our main goal right now is nailing the city where the majority of action will be taking place.
Go into as much detail as necessary for example your metropolis, what state is it in? Is it in poverty or prosperous? Are there other areas? If so what is the relationship between those areas and your metropolis and the relationship between the other areas. Races what are they physical descriptions how do they think differently from other races, racial abilities and weaknesses. Magic if there is magic in your novel what types are there? ( if different types exist), political hierarchies. Law system(s). Important historical events.
Regarding adverbs, I keep them out of my prose for the most part, but I find one recurring place that I'm not comfortable cutting them is something like "said softly/quietly." I know that looks ripe for 'whispered' or 'murmured' or something instead, and sometimes I do use those, yet often I specifically don't want to imply whispering. To me whispering is a specific, muted thing, like...speaking in black and white. There's not really a tone/timbre to the voice. It's just gusts of air. You can 'speak out loud' QUIETLY and with the full spectrum of voice, yet not be whispering. And it's THAT that I often want to convey that my characters are doing. Mostly because it's a richer way of communicating. Likewise, something like 'murmuring' or 'mumbling' implies that the speech is unclear/indistinct. When I hear 'said quietly/softly' I imagine the person using their NORMAL complete voice, just at a low volume; whereas when I hear 'whispered' I imagine that wispy, gusting speech. It's just not the same thing. I'd love a verb that conveyed that method of speech without an adverb, but I don't know of one.
Agree in this case. _The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she whispered._ _The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she said quietly._ I don’t know about you, but the use of whisper could mean anything from “Let’s snog” to “someone is stalking me and I need help rn”; whereas _said quietly_ at least to me implies emotional vulnerability, like Abby’s about to tell you she’s taking the kids.
@@samwallaceart288 The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder and put her mouth next to my ear. “Hey, could we talk in private?”
Your vids are so helpful ;_; Hell, you even made me edit that sentence! I originally wrote "Your vids are all so helpful to me", caught myself, and changed it to that. *I'M LEARNING, BITCHES*
I love the suggestion of introducing the past perfect and then dropping it. I'm not going to pull out my copy to confirm this, but I'm pretty positive Alice Hoffman did does this quite a lot in Practical Magic, and it did so much for the whole tone of the storytelling. It created a dreamier, more vivid, and more engaging experience.
one of the things that completely changed the way i wrote was reading my immortal. it’s both one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and a surprisingly helpful what not to do guide. whenever i use or read the word suddenly and overly descriptive dialogue tags in place of said, i catch it instantly. bless your soul, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way
Same! I haven't read that, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
a good example is the word "then". The first time I heard it's a bad word and you should cut it, I thought 'why? this is a pretty common word, everyone uses it constantly, no one will notice whether I used it or not'... but the thing is: "then" instantly structures the actions in your story and gives them a chronological order. So it basically functions as a cheap trick. If you have to cut it though, you have to make sure, with your sentence-structure and arrangement of words, that the chronology of actions comes across. So your writing improves immediately in ways it wouldn't have with the word "then".
Can I ask for some advice and anyone's opinion on using weasel words with an unreliable narrator who always leaves out information and is (literally) weaseling their way out of things? And is also British, which is how we talk anyway? ("Rather, quite, Somewhat!")
The thing about -ing verbs though... not using them actually changes the meaning of the sentence. Example: "I'm happy," she said, putting her sunglasses on. Without -ing verbs, it would be: "I'm happy", she said, and put her sunglasses on. I'm not saying it doesn't sound better in the second example, maybe it does, but it did change the sequence of events described. That's why -ing verbs exist, they're not just an odd-sounding quirk of the English language, they exist to express an action simultaneous to another. So how are we supposed to render that? Do we just replace all the actual simultaneous actions with "as" constructions? Also with words like "started" or "began", cutting them out can also change the meaning of a sentence. The example you used is a good example of that: he started climbing the tree implies that he is in the middle of doing so (perhaps something happens before he reaches the top). He climbed the tree implies the completed action. He's now at the top. This is a difference of meaning. Again, that's why these verbs exist, they're not arbitrary quirks of language... Realized is another one I don't agree with. Saying "he realized she was trying to kill him" implies a level of subjectivity that "she was trying to kill him" just doesn't have. It implies a change in perception, which is part of telling the story. That's what realizations are. They are moments when we become subjectively aware of a truth we were oblivious to before and this can alter our behavior. She may have been trying to kill him all along, but that's not what we're focusing on. We're focusing on the fact he realized this at some point. Am I making myself clear? It's one of those instances where we're more interested in the subjective development of the character than the actual facts. Taking "realized" out of the sentences changes the focus of it, so it isn't a superfluous word.
11:21 I don't think you'll see this but what if weasel words is part of the character voice? Right now i have goes something like this Despite the accident my body was mostly intact, besides the sting of a road rash, a slight limp and more importantly; wasted time.
great information in your video...I will keep in mind what you've said, as I write on my novel, Shaelin. I have one small critique though; hope U don't mind. Slow down you speaking; you're talking throughout the video like a gerbil on a too-much-coffee high; which makes it hard to absorb all the info you're imparting to us. I realize you're excited to get the great info from your head to us viewers; but slow your speech pattern down just a wee bit. Please keep up doing these awesome videos; they do help even a seasoned writer, like me.
With the way she talks, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon! Lol! However, to circumvent your issue, simply slow down the video speed to .75 in the settings! You're welcome!
It's funny, cause I always speed up talking videos to 2x speed and for this one I had it on 1.5x speed comfortably and could probably watch it normally without feeling that it's too slow.
I recently changed "The van parked across the street. The driver pretended not to be watching." to "The driver appeared not to be watching" because the first one has a POV problem: only the driver knows whether she's pretending or not; from anyone else's point of view, the driver appeared not to be watching.
"I don't think I use unnecessary language in my writing..." *peeks at first chapter of current fanfic....'she picked herself up off the ground'* "Gosh DANGIT"
How does one pick oneself up? You can get up, stand, erect yourself. But to grab yourself in your own hands and lift? Ergo, not unnecessary language if foreshadowing of later sorcery.
The sentences without 'ing' in it didn't sound any better to me. The only thing wonky about it was that you used it twice so close togetherThe first sentence of the second one sounded more awkward even...
It's more to do with the frequency than anything else. This can happen sentence by sentence or finding paragraphs following certain patterns in much the same way. It's not something that bothers me as a reader so when I write, it's only avoided if I find that pattern becomes too ingrained.
ing-verbs. I use them, they exist in the language for a reason. That said, I am limiting them because it's not nice to have them everywhere. :P Oooh, I've removed sooo many dialogue tags when editing! XD The up and down thing. I think you can use it sometimes. Like, if you describe someone entering a room and dude in there just stands up from a sitting position. Then, you can say "he stood up". Because if I write "he stood" it would seem that he was standing from the start. But if we know he's sitting already, it's not needed. Oh, and I've cut SO many "to be". XD To run - ran, to walk - walked. They often come with the "started/began" thing as well. He started to run - He ran. Or There was a stair in the back of the room. A stair rose from the back of the room... or something.
Thank you so much! After watching this video, I went over my own book, and I found eighty - count 'em, eighty - instances in one chapter where I used "ing" verbs and I didn't need to. I have some sort of "ing" verb disease. This advice is invaluable to me, and I'm sure my beta readers will thank you. God bless you, Shaelin!
'Avoid having your characters shrug because it's the least interesting thing they could do' LIKE THIS! THIS HERE! I can't tell you how many times I've been reading an awesome scene, when suddenly the character just shrugs, making it seem like they give exactly ZERO rats for what was going on. It's a good way to turn (imo) a fleshed out character into a one-dimensional character that is no longer worth my time XD
Same! I haven't read My Immortal, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
J.M Barlow - alternatively. You wouldn’t feel the kayak flip; you would feel the strained rigging of the structure, hear the hull flex, your sense of up and down jumbled as the water floor pounces and engulfs you from what you thought was above. That right there would give the vibe that maybe the protag is in an adrenaline focal moment. Either keep it simple, or way overshare on the nitty grit of what the character would physically notice. When a person is in a plane crash, they aren’t noticing the way the plane skids they’re noticing that they can’t feel their teeth.
I feel like a lot of these can be summed up as "don't include unnecessary wording or phrases." Cut off the fat. (Not that you shouldn't go into detail explaining them, more that it's a good sentence to remember as a reminder.) I think a lot of people learn from school to try and make their writing take up as many pages as possible, which doesn't make for elegant prose.
Yep, some of the best novels ever written are actually relatively short and every word is only the essential words needed to tell the story and nothing more. Some stories don't require to be a tome or some 1,000 page Epic like The Stand or something.
I've always taken adverbs as a way a writer gives me mental camera. If you say someone is holding an item, my mind doesn't zoom into it, it would if you mentioned they held it in their hands. So earning them makes sense.
@@ShaelinWrites I like your hair most in this video. It blends the surrounding to your head more gradually, like how a coffee cup gradually transfers heat to embracing hands. Not the prettiest metaphor. maybe I should rely on the cup (literally) giving shape to what in it. anyway thanks for these vids. your advice to save editing for later was really good for my perfection paralysis. I wish imagination was fixed in place so I could immerse myself in it without my previous thoughts gradually spilling.
Hahaha inginging sounds like you had an awesome professor! Well I never thought of ing verbs that way! As far as ly adverbs I used to use them all the time until someone pointed out how ridiculous they are and how much getting rid of them improve your writing.
Came for the advice, stayed for the squirrels 😎 Really though. I've recently found your channel, and thank you. I really need this. I only write as a hobby. But your videos are informative and very enjoyable.
I don't get why -ing and 'like' are not pretty. The sound itself, I think, is fine. For example, one of my favourite Swedish words is ingenting. However, somehow, verbs in English sound better without '-ing'.
I know that she gets upset when people say to take the advice with a grain of salt, but that is what you have to do. If you remove every -ing verb it doesn't necessarily make the prose better. Ing verbs do not sound like a chainsaw, that is just her (and her professor's) opinion. If you open up any 3rd person pov novel, you will notice ing verbs. Better advice might be to limit ing verbs. It doesn't have to be to the same extent as adverbs, but try to limit them. I color them in my rough drafts, just to be aware of them. Same with adverbs. If I can I eliminate them, but eliminating them isn't always the answer. Authors who are published critique the common "rules to writing" that you find everywhere that are often thrown around by writers who have not been published. annerallen.com/2017/12/secret-writing-rules-why-ignore-them/ annerallen.com/2016/11/stupid-writing-rules-12-bad-writing-tips/ annerallen.com/2016/02/beware-writing-rules-police/
I still don't understand the hack about conditional and past perfect around 12:06. I know this video is old af, but could you be more specific? I'm not a native English speaker, and I've learned it from experience not from classes, so the "tenses talk" is a big trouble to me.
Limit adverbs. Develop a style by cutting out all the common mistakes. No weasel words. No convoluted phrases. Limit -ing verbs. No repetitive adverbs like "shouting loudly". Abstract words like "something" got to go. No adjectives like "unknown" and "stranger" together. No "simultaneously" if the actions cannot actually be simultaneous. No need to say "to me" or "thought to myself". No passive voice.
It’s totally OK to want to follow those rules, that’s a personal stylistic choice. However, not everyone enjoys this way of writing or reading writing is extremely subjective. You saying “bad writing” at the ending is funny because some might consider this version to be bad as well… because it’s subjective
Wonderful advice, as always! A lot of these are ones that definitely took me a long time to incorporate, and I still catch those pesky sneaks in my drafts. The -ly and -ing elaboration was great. You explained everything so well. :)
As someone who has smoked, I can attest to being able to speak while taking in a drag. It's a thing. ;) Good rules to consider though. Thank you Shaelin!
I almost wish I HADN'T heard this "No -"ing" verbs!" advice, because now some otherwise innoccuous prose is so bothersome to me. Gah! I can't even decide if your advice was correct, but you've ruined me! I was happy before! Well, not exactly happy, but I was nearer to a state of peace!
Pick authors you like the writing style of and devour their books. That's how you learn. You could even try what Hunter S. Thompson did which is copying books word for word.
Great video.. The most informative one I found on the net. You mentioned a list of weasel words - about, actually, almost, like, appear, already, basically, approximately, even, eventually, finally, exactly, just, just then, kind of , nearly, now, practically, really , seems, simply, somehow, somewhat, sort of, suddenly, then, there, that, truly. It works when we use them sparingly. But how do we do that? what words to use in place of them. Synonyms dont always work.
weasel words mentioned in this video plus ones ive added from searching... incase anyone wants to copy it out to check your writings a few of the combo weasel phrases mentioned in the video are not listed like 5 or so about actually almost like appears basically already approximately close even eventually exactly finally here just then kinda newly now practically really seems simply "some how" "some what" "sort of" suddenly then there that truly utterly --- very every some most but --- can could fairly likely may might moderately often quite rather relatively reasonably seems usually virtually --- were was said asked - few lots more perhaps feel felt see "a bit" "as much as" "in a sense" "research shows" "experts say" "i would say that" often probably possibly many "could be" "the user" "the person" leading cutting-edge "with all due respect"
Sorry, but pulling the -ing verbs changes the meaning of the sentence. In the examples you gave, the -ing verbs indicated that the actions happened continuously with the dialogue. When you changed it, the dialogue happened before the action. Does that matter? In that example, probably not. In others, YES. Very much so. Honestly, these are two different verb tenses. One is correct for the sentence, and the other isn't. Pick the correct one.
Adverbs are not inherently bad, but you dont want to over rely on them. Cutting off an entire type of descriptive word by saying never use adverbs is just shooting yourself in the foot. Avoid using adverds when you can, but dont break your back trying to replace them. Also, I have no idea what you are saying about ING verbs. Your example didnt sound better to be at all, both samples sounded about the same. I dont get it.
This advice is helpful, but "weasel words" are a defining element of my casual sounding prose. I refuse to get rid of that element. My books will be plastered with them and hopefully that won't be a problem for readers.
You're wrong about -ing words. They are "doing" words. There is a difference between: He walked away stretching. - Walked while stretching He walked away and stretched. - Walked then stretched
Maybe watching videos about prose in another language than the one I am writing in wasn't the best idea :). But actually, I used to be really bothered by the fact that the language I'm writing in doesn't have any equivalent to ing-verbs, in the sense that you just can't make constructions like these at all. Maybe it's a good thing after all.
best part of this video is coming back to it after a year or so to go through your story and then finding that you've stopped doing most of these things
most of the words we get told not to use, like ing words, are a rule because we dont realize it but when we speak conversationally we skip tons of of participles, but in writing you cant do that. you notice how big of a difference it makes to stop using those crutches, and actually use economic complete sentences. our conversational speak is often incomplete sentences, we just fill in the meaning automatically, but on a page it reads wrong.
8:26 - 8:28 If there is an action beat accompanied with the dialogue, we don't need a tag. What does this mean? An example with and without will be helpful, please...
So prose is just a conversation your having with the paper? Not really focusing on the details and instead just focusing on the overview of the scene/description?
If you want to know what words you use most often: www.wortwolken.com/ create a Wordcloud. Just copy your Text into this website and press enter. The biggest words are the words you used most.
Great post and thanks for the reference. Writers don't talk enough about prose and opt to discuss character development and plot (I guess it is fun to talk about) looking forward to reading the essay. I'm particularly bad for weasel words (i.e. particularly) but also took ages to get away from ING verbs accidentally using them as sequential rather than simultaneous
"Reads sentence with -ing words"
Oh well, sounds fine to me.
"Reads same sentence without -ing words"
What sorcery is this.
Ikr
dqydj.com/baader-meinhof-phenomenon-frequency-bias/
DEFINITELY Evidence of prejudice. I've always said the rules of prose are totally misplaced and full of condescending excuses. I used to get in arguments over it with my sophomore year english teacher all of the time...and he was totally racist. I used to have to tell him that he was "totally proof that Thomas Jefferson was totally gay!" I Am an -ing man and I also assert that the entire lexicon of prose is meant to imply philosophy; not where you place the action or emphasis of your sentence. But this would require an education and not just inundation to previous egoist ideology. (Not personal to You, just the way it is.)
Oh wait; By the Gods of Prose, now just been inspired, have I!
How about "Whick Whack"...or is it Wick-Wack!!!
A
@@Musiqwest i've had dreams that made more sense and had more context than your comment
1. cut your "-ing" verbs
2. avoid adverbs
3. avoid dialogue tags
4. no abstract words (some, thing, it was)
5. no overspecifics (holding in hand, shrugging the shoulders, blinking the eyes)
6. no unneccessary adjectives
7. no overused/weasel words
8. would/had constructions. if you need it, introduce it at the start of the paragraph and then go into simple past
9. don't use as/while illogically
10. no convuluted phrasing
11. no suddenly/started/began
12. no up/down (Stood up, stat down)
13. avoid to be words
14. avoid to me/ to myself
15. avoid realisations (realised, felt, saw)
16. avoid unplanned repetition
17. no passive voice in general
18. telling when its already implied
19
thank you! :)
List starts at 06:07
watched the whole video without knowing what prose means
I didnt know too
LOL ME TOO
me too
What's prose tho
Portgas D Ann Prose is the actual writing, and the use of words in your book, rather than the plot, characters, etc.
Ex:
"The boy ran up the stairs angrily."
Vs.
"The boy stormed up the stairs, kicking dust with his feet in rage."
Same story and character, but the prose is different.
It's proven that when you put a text in another sort of... format, or font, you can better see the mistakes. That's why many fanfiction authors notice mistakes only after they've published the story to whichever site they use.
It's true! I actually change the font when I start editing because of this!
Font size works too. I usually enlarge mine as much as possible and suddenly the mistakes start jumping out at me. Honestly I can't edit on paper. I can't afford buying all the paper and a print, all the ink etc. I'm not planning on being published so I couldn't justify it.
Absolutely true. I resize my Word docs to the book trim size...and boom...it's like editing a different manuscript. Things that I never noticed stick out like a sore thumb.
Thanks ya'll for this advice! Never thought about it before but I shall employ each.
@Lee Hayman maybe yours does
Rule 19. Remove all squirrels.
*PETA wants to know your location*
Here's one that peeves me.
"Her lips let loose a growl."
If your lips are growling, you need to see a medical professional.
Gynecologist?
@@jch-eg4vd 😂
i think i pulled a muscle in my neck laughing
Yeah I'm pretty sure they (author) meant "A growl escaped her lips."
That's actually pretty funny.
Bottom line here is to JUST WRITE. Even if it reads like shit. I go out of my way to write poorly.
The beautiful prose happens in the editing process.
Sometimes I wish i could., but editing is far more painful to me when the sentences and paragraphs are poor, than when there's actual quality in them. Also I like getting lost in the visualization and analysis of the current word, so it takes longer time for me to write, but I manage to paint the picture right and draw far more pleasure from the process itself while doing it ^^
write drunk. edit sober.
Allegedly, The Gumtree Bookshelf Story was a first draft. Just saying.
The beautifully written prose began to happen when the editing process started
My story started as a creative writing piece for a year 12 assignment. I fell in love with the characters and story and decided I wanted to create a world in which they exist. It’s been 2 years and I still go back to that piece as some of the best prose I’ve ever written. I’m still writing my first draft and it’s only now that I’ve FINALLY come to realise that my first draft isn’t supposed to be that great. It’s supposed to be shitty and the editing is where the magic happens. It took me far too long to realise this
I watched this video five years ago and it SIGNIFICANTLY changed the way I write. I implemented this advice and saw dramatic improvement in my poetry and prose overnight. Thanks for this!!!
I love the info that you give in your videos. You clearly know your craft.
BUT please!! Could you slow down the pace a bit, and make the transitions more obvious?
For example, here you say “18 writing hacks”, but I lost track after the first 2 or 3. If you
could just pause between key points and stress each of them when you first
mention them, your videos would be more viewer-friendly.
I know that you don’t like to make things too obvious because you believe in trusting the audience’s
ability to understand. But when it comes to tutorials and tips, the easier to understand,
the better.
Remember that information is much more digestible when clearly segmented than when presented
as a continuous stream. So the best you can do is treat each of your tips like it’s
a PowerPoint bullet point in a presentation to a slow audience. Mention each
number, announce the transition, “now tip number 5”.
If possible, show the number on screen.
I guarantee, your viewers won’t feel like you’re insulting their intelligence, if that’s
what you fear. They will thank you
Why don't you just pause, rewind and take notes
Amen! I can't take notes that fast! 🤪😄
@@shelliewolske8977
It's not easy to keep pausing, when watching AND note-taking on the same device.
@@anneahlert2997 get a notebook or something then
@@silb1350
No duh! I tried that. I don't know Gregg Shorthand, so I couldn't keep up then, either. There's a lot more good info in this video than what most people can write fast enough to note it all.
"I know 'it was' is basically the weakest way you could possibly start a sentence."
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." ~1984. How about starting a book? :D
Good advice, and though it's clear a lot of writing advice is debatable, it's very useful to know both sides so you can form your own opinions and writing style from them. What's that saying, learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
Mike Lounge "The clocks struck thirteen on a cold April day."
Does that not sound punchier?
Hyong Leppy
Punchier isn't always better, muscle man. By putting your most interesting detail in the middle of the sentence, you've made the 'April day' detail lacklustre filler, all while losing the intrigue of the twist. Pacing is key, friend.
I know it's a month late but I had to.
Mahoole Magic School I'd like to know why it changes the importance of a bright cold April day. It has two adjectives, so how likely will someone forget that detail?
Hyong Leppy
You want to end your line on the point of intrigue, not a trivial detail. Order matters.
You dob't have to be a writer to know as much.
3:39
The “everyone’s style will just be the same” argument always peeved me off. The nuts and bolts of concise, good writing have so, so, SO little to do with authorial style. Stephen King and Noel Gaiman both know how to avoid unfitting adverbs and use active voice, but you couldn’t possibly mistake one with the other. You’re not going to lose the forest by trimming the rotten branches.
I first learned the "ing" thing from resume writing. An -ing word is something you are doing and maybe you'll succeed or maybe you'll fail. An -ed is something you did, it is an accomplishment.
Yes, i learned the same thing
The longest book i wrote was ONLY 17 pages.🤣🤣🤣
3 Harry Potter Fans A4 pages or smaller?
Geo Globe A4
I JUST SAW THIS. AND LEGIT THREW MY HOMEWORK TO THE SIDE, AND DRRAAAGGGED MY SCREEN CLOSER.
Planetarian Prince Loveeee your profile pic 😏 are you part of the phandom?
You yous all capitals
you yous "yous"
Rip your grades
R. I. P. grades
I'm an engineering student with a long-time passion for writing. Wish I could have studied this instead. Your videos are amazing. It really makes a difference learning from someone who's clearly so passionate.
Too many -ings.
Thanks for all of the wonderful information Shaelin. I'm a self-taught writer, and have never taken any creative writing classes. All of my writing education has been from UA-cam and online writing forums. I am so thankful for fiction vloggers such as yourself. I also subscribe to Jenna Moreci and Vivien Reis for their views on writing fiction. I am currently in the world building phase for the fantasy series my writing partner and I are working on. If you have any tips for building a fantasy world (particularly a large urban metropolis which will be our primary setting) I would really appreciate it. Thanks!
Gamerdaddy428
I would suggest taking your time and making sure you know everything you can about the world. You need to treat the world like a character in itself when you are writing a fantasy.
I've made the mistake of jumping into fantasy world without knowing everything and that's one of the reasons why I had to rewrite the novel.
Glad to know there are self taught writers out there. I hope you continue following your dream and that my advice helped a little. I' was actually planning on making a video about it sometime.
Kenzie Staley Thanks for your advice! We are working in stages. My partner and I have the protagonist and antagonist character profiles done and now moving onto world building. We have some world history and political stuff written but our main goal right now is nailing the city where the majority of action will be taking place.
Gamerdaddy428
It sounds like you guys are getting really far! Keep up the work and you guys will get it!
Go into as much detail as necessary for example your metropolis, what state is it in? Is it in poverty or prosperous? Are there other areas? If so what is the relationship between those areas and your metropolis and the relationship between the other areas. Races what are they physical descriptions how do they think differently from other races, racial abilities and weaknesses. Magic if there is magic in your novel what types are there? ( if different types exist), political hierarchies. Law system(s). Important historical events.
Leeky-chan38 ii
Who needs to go to English class when we've got Shaelin!
Regarding adverbs, I keep them out of my prose for the most part, but I find one recurring place that I'm not comfortable cutting them is something like "said softly/quietly." I know that looks ripe for 'whispered' or 'murmured' or something instead, and sometimes I do use those, yet often I specifically don't want to imply whispering. To me whispering is a specific, muted thing, like...speaking in black and white. There's not really a tone/timbre to the voice. It's just gusts of air. You can 'speak out loud' QUIETLY and with the full spectrum of voice, yet not be whispering. And it's THAT that I often want to convey that my characters are doing. Mostly because it's a richer way of communicating. Likewise, something like 'murmuring' or 'mumbling' implies that the speech is unclear/indistinct. When I hear 'said quietly/softly' I imagine the person using their NORMAL complete voice, just at a low volume; whereas when I hear 'whispered' I imagine that wispy, gusting speech. It's just not the same thing. I'd love a verb that conveyed that method of speech without an adverb, but I don't know of one.
If you want to get rid of the adverb you could say "said in hushed tones" or something like that
Agree in this case.
_The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she whispered._
_The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder. “Hey, could we talk in private?” she said quietly._
I don’t know about you, but the use of whisper could mean anything from “Let’s snog” to “someone is stalking me and I need help rn”; whereas _said quietly_ at least to me implies emotional vulnerability, like Abby’s about to tell you she’s taking the kids.
I think what it is is “whispered” means “I don’t want others to hear,” while “said quietly” gives the vibe of “it’s not easy for me to say this.”
@@samwallaceart288 The party was chaotic but not without its charm. Abby tapped my shoulder and put her mouth next to my ear. “Hey, could we talk in private?”
@@rodschmidt8952 that's my favorite, avoiding dialogue tags entirely
To paraphrase Will Hunting: you're giving me a $100,000 education for free. THANK YOU!!!
She said no -ing words smh 😤
Your vids are so helpful ;_; Hell, you even made me edit that sentence! I originally wrote "Your vids are all so helpful to me", caught myself, and changed it to that. *I'M LEARNING, BITCHES*
I used to write "nodded his head" ALL THE TIME. Who knows what else you can nod...
I nodded my head knowing I do the same
Really interesting video!! Enjoy your trip!! :D
(SO MANY SQUIRRELS)
I love the suggestion of introducing the past perfect and then dropping it. I'm not going to pull out my copy to confirm this, but I'm pretty positive Alice Hoffman did does this quite a lot in Practical Magic, and it did so much for the whole tone of the storytelling. It created a dreamier, more vivid, and more engaging experience.
one of the things that completely changed the way i wrote was reading my immortal. it’s both one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and a surprisingly helpful what not to do guide. whenever i use or read the word suddenly and overly descriptive dialogue tags in place of said, i catch it instantly. bless your soul, ebony dark’ness dementia raven way
Same! I haven't read that, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
Great, now I actually want to read it..
Just checked it out, first paragraph in and I'm already cringing.
a good example is the word "then". The first time I heard it's a bad word and you should cut it, I thought 'why? this is a pretty common word, everyone uses it constantly, no one will notice whether I used it or not'... but the thing is: "then" instantly structures the actions in your story and gives them a chronological order. So it basically functions as a cheap trick. If you have to cut it though, you have to make sure, with your sentence-structure and arrangement of words, that the chronology of actions comes across. So your writing improves immediately in ways it wouldn't have with the word "then".
*Shaelin lists weasel words*
*anxiety rises*
Right? lol. Are you Lebanese?
@@jpch8814 yeah i am
@@cyrillechidiac6368 Awesome ! Would love to read another Lebanese person's work. Wish you the best.
Can I ask for some advice and anyone's opinion on using weasel words with an unreliable narrator who always leaves out information and is (literally) weaseling their way out of things?
And is also British, which is how we talk anyway? ("Rather, quite, Somewhat!")
“He was quite dead” is a style of weasel words that never gets old.
I always replace just with simply but turns out I replaced one weasel word with another...shit lol.
The thing about -ing verbs though... not using them actually changes the meaning of the sentence. Example: "I'm happy," she said, putting her sunglasses on. Without -ing verbs, it would be: "I'm happy", she said, and put her sunglasses on. I'm not saying it doesn't sound better in the second example, maybe it does, but it did change the sequence of events described. That's why -ing verbs exist, they're not just an odd-sounding quirk of the English language, they exist to express an action simultaneous to another. So how are we supposed to render that? Do we just replace all the actual simultaneous actions with "as" constructions?
Also with words like "started" or "began", cutting them out can also change the meaning of a sentence. The example you used is a good example of that: he started climbing the tree implies that he is in the middle of doing so (perhaps something happens before he reaches the top). He climbed the tree implies the completed action. He's now at the top. This is a difference of meaning. Again, that's why these verbs exist, they're not arbitrary quirks of language...
Realized is another one I don't agree with. Saying "he realized she was trying to kill him" implies a level of subjectivity that "she was trying to kill him" just doesn't have. It implies a change in perception, which is part of telling the story. That's what realizations are. They are moments when we become subjectively aware of a truth we were oblivious to before and this can alter our behavior. She may have been trying to kill him all along, but that's not what we're focusing on. We're focusing on the fact he realized this at some point. Am I making myself clear? It's one of those instances where we're more interested in the subjective development of the character than the actual facts. Taking "realized" out of the sentences changes the focus of it, so it isn't a superfluous word.
when you’re trying to use this for roleplay but it all comes down to first drafts..
11:21
I don't think you'll see this but what if weasel words is part of the character voice? Right now i have goes something like this
Despite the accident my body was mostly intact, besides the sting of a road rash, a slight limp and more importantly; wasted time.
here because lana del rey and taylor swift inspires me to write poetically
holy holy, i just realized what a bad writer i am haha
thanks so much, this literally changed EVERYTHING
great information in your video...I will keep in mind what you've said, as I write on my novel, Shaelin. I have one small critique though; hope U don't mind. Slow down you speaking; you're talking throughout the video like a gerbil on a too-much-coffee high; which makes it hard to absorb all the info you're imparting to us. I realize you're excited to get the great info from your head to us viewers; but slow your speech pattern down just a wee bit.
Please keep up doing these awesome videos; they do help even a seasoned writer, like me.
With the way she talks, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon! Lol! However, to circumvent your issue, simply slow down the video speed to .75 in the settings! You're welcome!
It's funny, cause I always speed up talking videos to 2x speed and for this one I had it on 1.5x speed comfortably and could probably watch it normally without feeling that it's too slow.
Speedy Same. I usually have it at 2x but for this channel, even 1.7x is too fast.
I recently changed "The van parked across the street. The driver pretended not to be watching." to "The driver appeared not to be watching" because the first one has a POV problem: only the driver knows whether she's pretending or not; from anyone else's point of view, the driver appeared not to be watching.
"I don't think I use unnecessary language in my writing..."
*peeks at first chapter of current fanfic....'she picked herself up off the ground'*
"Gosh DANGIT"
How does one pick oneself up? You can get up, stand, erect yourself. But to grab yourself in your own hands and lift? Ergo, not unnecessary language if foreshadowing of later sorcery.
The sentences without 'ing' in it didn't sound any better to me. The only thing wonky about it was that you used it twice so close togetherThe first sentence of the second one sounded more awkward even...
It's more to do with the frequency than anything else. This can happen sentence by sentence or finding paragraphs following certain patterns in much the same way. It's not something that bothers me as a reader so when I write, it's only avoided if I find that pattern becomes too ingrained.
I’m having such a great epiphany watching this. She’s going off on great things I will be incorporating in my speech and writing!
ing-verbs. I use them, they exist in the language for a reason. That said, I am limiting them because it's not nice to have them everywhere. :P Oooh, I've removed sooo many dialogue tags when editing! XD The up and down thing. I think you can use it sometimes. Like, if you describe someone entering a room and dude in there just stands up from a sitting position. Then, you can say "he stood up". Because if I write "he stood" it would seem that he was standing from the start. But if we know he's sitting already, it's not needed. Oh, and I've cut SO many "to be". XD To run - ran, to walk - walked. They often come with the "started/began" thing as well. He started to run - He ran. Or There was a stair in the back of the room. A stair rose from the back of the room... or something.
Thank you so much! After watching this video, I went over my own book, and I found eighty - count 'em, eighty - instances in one chapter where I used "ing" verbs and I didn't need to. I have some sort of "ing" verb disease. This advice is invaluable to me, and I'm sure my beta readers will thank you. God bless you, Shaelin!
This was the essay she mentioned, I strongly recommend it:
eternal-dannation.tumblr.com/post/24049918429/revising-your-prose-for-power-and-punch
'Avoid having your characters shrug because it's the least interesting thing they could do'
LIKE THIS! THIS HERE! I can't tell you how many times I've been reading an awesome scene, when suddenly the character just shrugs, making it seem like they give exactly ZERO rats for what was going on. It's a good way to turn (imo) a fleshed out character into a one-dimensional character that is no longer worth my time XD
Easily the best and most useful writing advice video I've seen so far. These are great rules, and I shall endeavour to apply them from hereonout.
SIgh
I'll be back when my first draft is done.
I think adverbs are best used with oxymorons, such as someone screaming silently or deafening silence.
Same! I haven't read My Immortal, but I've read lots and lots of similar shit on wattpad (I did it bc I was desperate for fanfic, don't judge), but yeah whenever I see a mistake I catch it instantly! I've also started hating ing-verbs, I literally rewrite the sentence in my brain bc it bugs me so much. But even though I see these mistakes, it has also made me immune to bad writing so there's that
Starts at 6:01 welcome
LET'S WRITE A STORY TOGETHER.
ADD THE NEXT LINE:
If a swamp-grass mustache spoke volumes of a man, a library was stacked two-stories high for Sasha.
gaze and transfixed are not the same though. So she could gaze at something and then be transfixed or mesmerized. Sorry, just had to say it.
I don't believe I said they were synonyms, the point was just that you can *show* someone is transfixed rather than telling!
"Nobody is going to be in a kayak and not feel it flip if they are in a kayak and it flips"
Quote of the day!
(This made me sub btw)
J.M Barlow - alternatively. You wouldn’t feel the kayak flip; you would feel the strained rigging of the structure, hear the hull flex, your sense of up and down jumbled as the water floor pounces and engulfs you from what you thought was above. That right there would give the vibe that maybe the protag is in an adrenaline focal moment. Either keep it simple, or way overshare on the nitty grit of what the character would physically notice. When a person is in a plane crash, they aren’t noticing the way the plane skids they’re noticing that they can’t feel their teeth.
No... my favorite over used word ‘suddenly’ is a MUSHY WORD!
Why-
WHYYYYY??!!!
What’s up with squirrels?
Long hair shailen doesnt exist and cant hurt you:
Long hair shailen:
Look WONDERFUL btw
Who are you looking at behind the camera? I must know.
Squirrels which are not furry. And they don't shrug.
I feel like a lot of these can be summed up as "don't include unnecessary wording or phrases." Cut off the fat. (Not that you shouldn't go into detail explaining them, more that it's a good sentence to remember as a reminder.) I think a lot of people learn from school to try and make their writing take up as many pages as possible, which doesn't make for elegant prose.
Yep, some of the best novels ever written are actually relatively short and every word is only the essential words needed to tell the story and nothing more. Some stories don't require to be a tome or some 1,000 page Epic like The Stand or something.
I've always taken adverbs as a way a writer gives me mental camera. If you say someone is holding an item, my mind doesn't zoom into it, it would if you mentioned they held it in their hands. So earning them makes sense.
I'm so confused by your hair journey over the vids
I wonder if it's a metaphorical journey
what does the hair mean??? :)
I've just changed my hairstyle over the years, as people tend to do! No hidden meaning :)
@@ShaelinWrites I like your hair most in this video. It blends the surrounding to your head more gradually, like how a coffee cup gradually transfers heat to embracing hands.
Not the prettiest metaphor. maybe I should rely on the cup (literally) giving shape to what in it.
anyway thanks for these vids. your advice to save editing for later was really good for my perfection paralysis. I wish imagination was fixed in place so I could immerse myself in it without my previous thoughts gradually spilling.
Thanks! That helped :) I have to get used to it of course but it'll pay off 😜
Hahaha inginging sounds like you had an awesome professor! Well I never thought of ing verbs that way! As far as ly adverbs I used to use them all the time until someone pointed out how ridiculous they are and how much getting rid of them improve your writing.
This is a really helpful and good video! (oops...shouldn't use really) But thank you ;)
I'm glad to hear the "edit on paper" advice. I thought I was the only one who experienced that phenomenon.
Came for the advice, stayed for the squirrels 😎
Really though. I've recently found your channel, and thank you. I really need this. I only write as a hobby. But your videos are informative and very enjoyable.
Furry Squirrel
Squirrel
OK, but what if..?
Balding Squirrel
Bald Squirrel
Hairless Squirrel
Skinless Squirrel
Boneless Squirrel
Burning Squirrel
Bloody Squirrel
OMG! I went to AO3 to edit ALL my FANFICS! TYTYTY! Girlfriend :D! I broke every damn rule you mention!
I don't get why -ing and 'like' are not pretty. The sound itself, I think, is fine. For example, one of my favourite Swedish words is ingenting. However, somehow, verbs in English sound better without '-ing'.
I know that she gets upset when people say to take the advice with a grain of salt, but that is what you have to do. If you remove every -ing verb it doesn't necessarily make the prose better. Ing verbs do not sound like a chainsaw, that is just her (and her professor's) opinion. If you open up any 3rd person pov novel, you will notice ing verbs. Better advice might be to limit ing verbs. It doesn't have to be to the same extent as adverbs, but try to limit them. I color them in my rough drafts, just to be aware of them. Same with adverbs. If I can I eliminate them, but eliminating them isn't always the answer.
Authors who are published critique the common "rules to writing" that you find everywhere that are often thrown around by writers who have not been published. annerallen.com/2017/12/secret-writing-rules-why-ignore-them/ annerallen.com/2016/11/stupid-writing-rules-12-bad-writing-tips/ annerallen.com/2016/02/beware-writing-rules-police/
I still don't understand the hack about conditional and past perfect around 12:06. I know this video is old af, but could you be more specific? I'm not a native English speaker, and I've learned it from experience not from classes, so the "tenses talk" is a big trouble to me.
Limit adverbs.
Develop a style by cutting out all the common mistakes.
No weasel words.
No convoluted phrases.
Limit -ing verbs.
No repetitive adverbs like "shouting loudly".
Abstract words like "something" got to go.
No adjectives like "unknown" and "stranger" together.
No "simultaneously" if the actions cannot actually be simultaneous.
No need to say "to me" or "thought to myself".
No passive voice.
It’s totally OK to want to follow those rules, that’s a personal stylistic choice. However, not everyone enjoys this way of writing or reading writing is extremely subjective. You saying “bad writing” at the ending is funny because some might consider this version to be bad as well… because it’s subjective
Wonderful advice, as always! A lot of these are ones that definitely took me a long time to incorporate, and I still catch those pesky sneaks in my drafts. The -ly and -ing elaboration was great. You explained everything so well. :)
Sometimes I feel I'm kind of irrational with my -ing verb hatred haha
I have been AWAKENED!
As someone who has smoked, I can attest to being able to speak while taking in a drag. It's a thing. ;) Good rules to consider though. Thank you Shaelin!
I feel like this episode needed more squirrels. Four stars! Thanks for the info. I get a lot out of your videos.
I almost wish I HADN'T heard this "No -"ing" verbs!" advice, because now some otherwise innoccuous prose is so bothersome to me.
Gah! I can't even decide if your advice was correct, but you've ruined me! I was happy before!
Well, not exactly happy, but I was nearer to a state of peace!
Pick authors you like the writing style of and devour their books. That's how you learn.
You could even try what Hunter S. Thompson did which is copying books word for word.
Great video.. The most informative one I found on the net. You mentioned a list of weasel words - about, actually, almost, like, appear, already, basically, approximately, even, eventually, finally, exactly, just, just then, kind of , nearly, now, practically, really , seems, simply, somehow, somewhat, sort of, suddenly, then, there, that, truly.
It works when we use them sparingly. But how do we do that? what words to use in place of them. Synonyms dont always work.
Shubhankar Sengupta A lot of those you can just not use. "He was just reading" to "He was reading"
weasel words mentioned in this video plus ones ive added from searching... incase anyone wants to copy it out to check your writings
a few of the combo weasel phrases mentioned in the video are not listed like 5 or so
about actually almost
like appears basically
already approximately
close even eventually
exactly finally here
just then kinda newly now
practically really seems simply
"some how" "some what" "sort of"
suddenly then there
that truly utterly
---
very every some
most but
---
can could fairly
likely may might moderately
often quite rather relatively
reasonably seems usually virtually
---
were was said asked
-
few lots more perhaps
feel felt see
"a bit" "as much as" "in a sense"
"research shows"
"experts say" "i would say that"
often probably possibly many
"could be" "the user" "the person"
leading cutting-edge
"with all due respect"
What's your Instagram? And what's a "prose"?
@shaelinbishop :) And prose is the actual writing of a story, the use of language.
Thank you!!
Sorry, but pulling the -ing verbs changes the meaning of the sentence. In the examples you gave, the -ing verbs indicated that the actions happened continuously with the dialogue. When you changed it, the dialogue happened before the action. Does that matter? In that example, probably not. In others, YES. Very much so. Honestly, these are two different verb tenses. One is correct for the sentence, and the other isn't. Pick the correct one.
David Michael Kaplan wrote a book called "Revision." This "Essay" "Revision your Prose for Power in Punch" is Chapter 9 of that book.
Thank you, I could never find the book now I know why
Adverbs are not inherently bad, but you dont want to over rely on them. Cutting off an entire type of descriptive word by saying never use adverbs is just shooting yourself in the foot. Avoid using adverds when you can, but dont break your back trying to replace them.
Also, I have no idea what you are saying about ING verbs. Your example didnt sound better to be at all, both samples sounded about the same. I dont get it.
This advice is helpful, but "weasel words" are a defining element of my casual sounding prose. I refuse to get rid of that element. My books will be plastered with them and hopefully that won't be a problem for readers.
Thank you This was helpful. However, please slow down. Maybe consider decaf. 😁
Also check out “The Elements Of Style” by William Strunk.
You're wrong about -ing words. They are "doing" words.
There is a difference between:
He walked away stretching. - Walked while stretching
He walked away and stretched. - Walked then stretched
Slow down love, you sound like you are on speed. Volumes of hints and information but crammed into such a short time. Still very informative.Thanks
Maybe watching videos about prose in another language than the one I am writing in wasn't the best idea :). But actually, I used to be really bothered by the fact that the language I'm writing in doesn't have any equivalent to ing-verbs, in the sense that you just can't make constructions like these at all. Maybe it's a good thing after all.
Funny how most prose advice is about deleting things from your manuscript rather then adding more.
"I'm just trying to make these all have squirrels." - subscribed
I don't like prose rules because I'm a squirrel. Usually love your advice, but I feel slightly trolled.
best part of this video is coming back to it after a year or so to go through your story and then finding that you've stopped doing most of these things
most of the words we get told not to use, like ing words, are a rule because we dont realize it but when we speak conversationally we skip tons of of participles, but in writing you cant do that. you notice how big of a difference it makes to stop using those crutches, and actually use economic complete sentences. our conversational speak is often incomplete sentences, we just fill in the meaning automatically, but on a page it reads wrong.
"Real is all a vision. You have to see it for yourself." (From a fortune cookie).
"It was" is basically the weakest way to start a sentence.
Charles Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worse of times, dammit!
All tools exist for a reason, saying you can't use them is stupid. Knowing when to use them requires thought and experience.
8:26 - 8:28
If there is an action beat accompanied with the dialogue, we don't need a tag. What does this mean? An example with and without will be helpful, please...
So prose is just a conversation your having with the paper? Not really focusing on the details and instead just focusing on the overview of the scene/description?
Is it just me, or does Shaelin have a squirrel obsession? "Is that a squirrel" - "The furry squirrel" - "I hate squirrels".
If you want to know what words you use most often: www.wortwolken.com/ create a Wordcloud. Just copy your Text into this website and press enter. The biggest words are the words you used most.
Great post and thanks for the reference. Writers don't talk enough about prose and opt to discuss character development and plot (I guess it is fun to talk about) looking forward to reading the essay.
I'm particularly bad for weasel words (i.e. particularly) but also took ages to get away from ING verbs accidentally using them as sequential rather than simultaneous
Good hacks, I appreciate them, but this video is way too chatty. Sources could be listed in description