Totally agree with you Ruchi... ye sab points uss ladki ne pehle hi share kiye jo ki fair and justified hain... ye sab 99.9% adjustments k expectations as per our society always falls on girls part.... sabko ek life mili hai just live it according to your choice...why bother yourself. ladke ko bhi sochna chahiye tha aur jab shadi k pehle aise convince karne me laga hai toh baad me toh kya hi bol sakte hain...
I loved the way you raised your voice for Kolkata incident. Real influencer. Ladke ko to pehle se pata tha na kya timing hain ladki ka.. or yeh uske ghar mein nahi chalega To woh pehle nahi bata skta tha ki mere ghar wale nhi adjust honge yeh chizo k liye Jo abhi stand nhi le skta woh aage kya lega
U r just a replica of my thoughts... cz I 1000 percent agree with u.... whatever u have said and ur thoughts is totally correct ❤❤❤... even I have 7 month daughter.. I kw they will be more forward and we have to be like them.❤ so tell ur friend don't compromise wanna life he'll hojaegi bhai
Hi Ruchi, Everything you shared is right and even i also think the same but just want to share my story, I also work in IT company and my work timings are 5:30 P.M to 2:30 A.M(Work from home) and I woke up in morning(afternoon) at 12 usually or sometimes 1 and my mother in law is always tell me agar me thoda jaldi uth jati hu to ki so leti rat m late ho jata h tumhe and even she hired a cook kuki wo sochti h ki m thak jati hu to breakfast and lunch kese bnaugi and She is so proud of me that ki agar koi relative bhi ata h to bhi muje kbhi ni jgati or yhi bolti h ki wo kam krti h office ka, So i just want to say one thing ki every Mother in law is not same, some are very understanding. and every in laws are not same some are very very supportive my whole family is so supportive Its been 3 years since i got married and I haven't heard even one negative statement from any of my in laws.
100% right, saath rehkar rishte kharaab karne se accha, hai shuru se dur raho, space maintain rakho, ek dusre ki respect bani rahegi, pyar bana raheg. Aur jab shuru mein hi yeh baat sab accept kar lete hai, toh sab ki life easy hojati hai.
The girl and you point of view is 100 percent correct. Thats all. No need to explain ourselves much. Pyaar gaya tel lene.and this example i have seen with my one of my friend. Tell that girl that she will get good guy and flexible who will respect her
Hi Ruchi .. I totally agree with you if both parents of boy are living together so they can manage alone but what if only one parent is alive? I lost my Dad 2years ago and my bhabhi is having same work profile.. my mother is all alone now sometimes she comes to Pune to my house and she is looking his son ( my brother) for support .. and sometimes she lives alone in her hometown bhaiya bhabhi looks after her nicely and she also give them their space .. So I think this we as a girl/ boy should also understand the need of a parent and help them accordingly
Bhai sabko working ladki chahiye lekin uske sath adjustment koi nahi karna chahta, sabko chahiye ma baap ki sewa bhi kare ghar ka 3 time khana bhi banaye or financial support bhi de. Isliye ajkal ladkiyan shadi nahi karna chahti ab and thats valid
Marriage is so scary. Meri shadi ni hui hai bt ye sare case dekh kr bhot dar lgta hai. Mummy hmesa bolti hai thoda adjust krna hota hai bt mujhse hoga ya nai pata nai.
I absolutely agree with u bcoz I went through all these traumas but after 14 yrs of marriage now working as a teacher now fully satisfied though it's not a easy task. Thnx for raising voice & putting ur point of view.
I think she is right... Ghr todna kya hota hai... Bahu ne apne points pehle hi clear kr dia .. agar wo after marriage ye sb bolti den ye tag lg jata humre bete ko alag kr dia ... In my points of view dur raho pyar se raho... Obviously dono working hai but ghr ki Sari responsibility girls ko hi manage karni padti hai
Your frnd is practical n right..the way her partner trying to manage Mom n partners I hv faced..boys think they can mange later on life but it's wrong yes privacy is required..telling from my experience do job wot ever u hv to maintain daily routine early morning getting up everything expectations r high..yes nobody will tolerate in laws but the way our mom telling sab saho it's wrong bhai why wud we tolerate 1gm even wen it's wrong than wrong no need to tolerate..
Hi Di, You know I watch all your videos regularly, but commenting after a long time. Aap jo bhi bol rahe ho, I can relate to that completely. I am going through the same situation, it is mentally exhausting to make people understand! That girl is absolutely right, Acha hua shaadi se pehle clear ho gaya otherwise after marriage it’s even more difficult! It’s so difficult for a working woman to adjust in a joint family I can’t even begin to explain! I can relate to her completely. Har baat pe yahi bola Jata hai ki ladki ko toh adjust karna hi padta hai! Even though we are financially independent, I feel like we are not yet independent!
Not a single point of that girl said is wrong. Hats off to her that she cleared her opinions before marriage. Exactly pyar gaya tel lene. That boy is a coward in my eyes. Ye sb situation ko talne k bahane hote hain ki shadi hone k baad krte ye sb n all. . If he genuinely wants to be with her, he will otherwise ma ka ladla ban k hi rahe aise ldke. I am not a working women still i don't want to live with my in laws.
Mera manna he k girl is ryt bt the way she talked to her mil is not ryt....saf bolna achhi bat he bt badtamizi sahi nhi hoti...as a female I can understand the view of that girl bt as a mom of 2 sons I also understand the metal state of that lady ...isi bat ko softly nd politely bhi bola ja skta he...apna paksh zrur rakhe lekin tahzib k dayre me...hm kaise us lady ka apman kr skte he jo hmare partner ki maa he( male nd female both)...
Hi Ruchi Di, all this has happened exactly with me. I have arranged marriage and we had clearly mentioned that once lockdown will be over will move to bangalore. And for 2 years I stayed with my inlaws managing all this shift timings. Cook rakhna ya maids rakhna bhi itni badi problem ho gyi thi.. She is 100 % right Abhi se clear karlo but change the way of conveying it.. ❤
Another thing I want to share is, mentality also doesn't matter everytime. I've seen many examples, parents' rules for their own daughters and daughter-in-laws are totally different. Daughter-in-law also understands everything, she is also matured. So, obviously she will choose to live her life with her own terms without any competition, partiality with anybody else.
Meri MIL ka bi yahi haal hai.. Galti unke bete ki hoti hai.. Or baate mjhe sunati hai.. But ab mai bi chup ni rehti or unse pyaar se smjha deti hu.. K meri galti ho to bolo.. Warna apne bete ko bolo
She is absolutely right at her place...if the MIL want their DIL to be like her when she got married (old thought process) then why would they want to educate their sons at first place . These old ladies needs to understand this
Hii ruchii di .. mujhe apki baate bhut achi lgti h … esa lgta h ap bolte raho bass .. or ap bilkul sahi bol rahe ho jisa ap soch rahe ho mai bi vasi sochti hu … mai toh ya bi sochti hu aj kal koi bi inlaw ke sth nahi rahna chalta h qki sabko comfortable rhna h freedom chiye … Tkh bi h ya
I just paused the vdo n commenting...the girl didn't do anything wrong,ekdum clear baat ki aur apna view rakha, abhi ye haal agar hai to baad mein kya hi hoga...so she is absolutely right..
I loved your video❤❤ I did the same mistake and was adjusting. It does affect your mental health alotttt...thank you for bringing this topic..I want you to do a 2hr podcast on DIL and MIL topic and joint family......but I appreciate you have given me strength to decide what to do next..thank you Ruchi❤
Exactly ajj k time mei hum kehte hai ki beta beti mei fark ni hai but sach ye h ki bete or Bahu mei fark hai. Ladka apni family k lye sochta h toh girl k lye b uske parents jaruri hai
I totally agree with you. Even little things that happens in house after their son’s marriage ITS BAHU’S FAULT. Wahi on the other hand unko beti ke sath kuch bhi ni tolerate kar sakte BUT DO THE SAME WITH THEIR BAHU
Right Ruchi Aap ki Friend ne bilkul sahi kiya kyuki apni baatein bhi definitely batani chiye. Sachi har baar Ladki galat hoti hai yeh bikul wrong hai. Freedom sabhi ko pasand hai tho vo DIL ko bhi milna chiye🙂. Kuhu babu ko bhaut sara Pyaar❤😘
As per my opinion, if I am at her position, then my choice would be the same like separate home and life (physical) from in-laws. Bcz now a days as you said hum aisi generation me he where we have to balance everything. We have to raise our voices where we are right or for our rights, and hum ko thoda jelna bhi hoga bcz we can see things with both the sides (ours and our in-laws and parents) but still what we must do is to think twice before act. As a mother of a 2.5 years old daughter, i and my husband both teach her to say out loud what she wants, to decide what she wants and also if anyone hurts her, hurt him/her as much as he/she think twice before hurting her again. I really wish now a days a boy mother and father raise their son not as male but as a human then only world will normalised.
It's may sound bitter but truth is no girl like to stay in a joint family. Alag raho pyar se raho, dukh - sukh me sath raho. For sanity of our own, theirs it's important to be distant.
That girl is absolutely 100%right. And I totally agree with your thoughts about in- laws and sath me rehne wala point . I don’tunderstand why many people in-laws and husband still not understand this thought process. And then all the blames comes upon the girl. And I absolutely appreciate you that every time you catched our inner voice about girls and society norms because hr ladki ke man ki bat hai ye❤.
Tbh I agree with your thoughts! But I am lucky to have MIL like me.. she has had a lot during her time but she said I wont pass this on to my DIL.. She said to her son-beta muze jeans pehne wali bahu chahiye joh muze gaadi meh ghuma sake!
Hi Ruchi...you do chemical treatments on your hair as well as you have tried herbal products also...can you give us your input on both of these things so that we have a clear understanding about them, how they are in their performance.
Agar mother in law b working ho or bahu b working ho.. mother in law hamesha expect krti hai ki bahu dono kam manage kre.. apki friend bilkul theek ki bad me kya ho pata ni..
Sb ko alg hi rehna cahiye ek hi city ya ek building me . Older logo ki food routine alg hote h or aaj ke logo ke alg . Freedom sb ko cahiye . Life h bojh nh . Main pyar hona cahiye or respect. Or main dimag ki shani
Bilkul shi kaha usne kyuki ek bar agar compromise kiya to puri life expectation bdti rhegi fir jakr aap fatogy r ek dusre ka chehra tk bhi nhi dekhogy.... Hsbnd bichara dono me pisega r ladki bhi puri trh se tut jayegi puri married life khrab ho jati h... Ye bate ldko ko bhi smjhni chahiye
Har bar ladke bhi galat nahi hote it’s not about boy and girl ye Abhi ye bhi bolne ka waqt nahi he k Har bar ladki hi kyu sahe … maine aur hum sab ne of course dekha he girls also can be wrong.. so ye ek different issue he
The thing is people lie that they are ready for truth. But when you tell the truth on their face they call you as problem creator. The girl is right on her point. She should clear the matter with her guy, because the thought process of the boy will impact the matter the most
Pyar kha he ruchi I am agree with you….sas bahu beti maa in sab me ladka ladki jinho ne pyar kiya aur 6/7 years se sath the un ka kya … boy k perspective se bhi thoda sochna chahiye … we are adults and raised by parents very well but in too much practical life emotional quotient can’t be lacking and m afraid k next generation me kisi ko kisi se pyar hi nahi rahega .. No doubt I am mother of a single daughter but still thinking about that boy who loves the girl and girl is looking for her 2 years project that’s not fare it should be decided by both the families ye nahi k ladki aur sas bat kr le and point clear kr le..
Agree at some point ... Ese karne se to aage chal kar sare relation khatam hi ho jaenge, m bhi apne inlow's ke sath raheti hu janti hu adjust karn padta hai par sirf ladki ko hi nahi ladko ko bhi aur uski family bhi humare hisaab se adjust karti hai ye m dekh rahi hu jese humare ladke aur uski family se expansions hoti hai wese hi unki bhi hoti hai ese to sare rishte hi khatm ho jaege ,jese ladki ka jurm shena galt hai wese hi ladke aur uski family ko jane bhi na is tarha se aapne thoughts bana lena bhi galt hai
Sorry but not agree to u .aajkal privacy ke naam per girls inlaws ke saath nahe rahte .shaadi ho gayi to bus boy apne parents se matlab khatam.mai bhi job karti hoo or mere in laws dheere dheere support karne lage hai.her point ki privacy and can't do work is rubbish.aajkal work pattern sab samjhte hai or adjust karte hai.yahe ladikya hoti hai jinhe apne motherhood se bhi depression ho jata hai
Independent means don't need anyone , don't listen to anyone don't respect just because u r earning.itna jayaada practical hona tabhi depression ke cases badh rahe hai.dont say humare generation i m working my whole family support me with my kids and all don't justify the worng things on the name of new generation
Your friend's sister isn't wrong... But aajkal log digest nahi kar paate itna upfront hona.... Though it's a very practical and honest answer she gave according to her situation.... But Kitna bhi aap adjust kar lo... MIL ke saath thoda issues hote hi h...vo judgement humesha hota hi rehta h... It's her home, she has been having a life around her all the time... Hum ab aake cheezen badle ya new things start kare vo unke liye bhi ekdam new hota h... So dono ka perspective hai...but yes expectations pehle ke time jaisi nahi rakhna chahiye.. now girls are working, independent... Everybody should have their personal space now... Parents and inlaws both should understand this... To have a happy and peaceful life... Let's understand each other and give space.
Aajkl k time mein kisi k saath rehna waise bhi mushkil hai.. uppar se in laws k saath... Kahin na kahin sahi kiya hai...bt ab husband is baat ko pacha nai pa rahe hain ..
The reason I chose a guy who lives away from his family already is because I never wanted anybody to interfere in my life. Moreover I never wanted to change myself. My husband accepted me just the way I am and so I try to change myself a bit for his happiness. And that’s the fact. You give what you get. If a guy can’t take a stand for a girl then I believe he is not compatible enough for her. She should move on.
Meri shadi hui kuch time baad mai pregnant hui uske baad mujhe pata chala ki husband ka extra marital affair h n wahi sbko pata h h family me koi unko samjhata nhi h sb mujhe kehte hain adjust kro .. main chor diya us aadmi ko.. abhi i am with my baby girl.. alone.. bahot muskil h but wo jhelne se behtar h yr.. ekdam nark bana diya tha meri life mere husband n saas ne.. maine bhi kaha tha alag rehta hain mujhe property bhi mat do.. lekin wahi ki isko ghar todna h
U r absolutely right. Ldke apni pdai or job k lie ghr se jate h to jruri lgta h pr agr shadi k bad ldki alg ka keh de to wo glt ho jati h. Q ldki b to apna ghr chhod k aai h na, ldko me himmt q ni h fr. Or ye kehna k sasural esa hi hota h saas esi hi hoti h, to bhai aj ki ldkia b esi hi hoti bat pasand aaye to thik ni to akele rho hmesha
Hey I have one more thing to discuss if you can suggest what is right and what is wrong from both the perspectives: we are two siblings me and my brother and I lost my father last year and my mother lives alone in Mathura which is our home town and me and my brother both are in Noida, So the issue if My brother's GF who is a hard core non veg and my mom is typical Mathurawasi who do bhog daily and avoid even garlic and My brother's GF has no issue with my mom staying with them after marriage but she has condition that she will not leave non veg and my mother said that she can eat outside but she is like i'll make at home as well as i can not leave because mene bachpan se khaya h and that is understood as well, and she doesn't want to have babies and my mom is like mera ek hi beta h I also want pota/poti, and my doesn't want to stay with us because unko bete se bhut pyar h , now you tell me how to handle this situation and who is wrong and who is right.
Sorry but i am messaging you. Tell your brother gf and mother if she want to eat home made non veg . She can cook in home with different gas stove keep different utensils. Not to cook non veg in kitchen. So that your mother can cook bhoog in kitchen. Dono ko adjust karna hoga ishme.
Hi Ruchi, kuch situation aise hote hain jisme ladki sirf ghut ghut ke jeeti rahti hai aur kuch nahi kar sakti... Meri family me ek ladki hai,uske na father hain aur n brother uski 2sisters aur hain jo bahut achhi situation me nahi hai aur uski mother ki age bhi approx 60+ hai aur uski shadi ek aise ladke se kar di gayi hai jo sirf apni family ke liye phle to us ladki ko mentally torture krta tha aur ab uska aur beta ho gya hai to wo apni wife ko chahta hai ki kapde aur khane pe jindagi bhar uski naukrani banke rahe,usko pta hai ki uski family me koe ni hai to wo usi bat ka fayda uthata hai ki ab ye kahi nahi ja Sakti aur wo ladki sirf apne bachhe ke liye use chhod ke ni ja rahi aur mental health bilkul khrab ho chuki hai uski...ek hansti khelti ladki ab hume milti hai to bat tak nahi krti,logo ke sath uthati baithati tak nh wo....and we can't do anything for her...
Girl has been honest and shared her thoughts.. but boy's perspective is also right that they could have called this out after marriage.. Elders ka thought process different hota hai and unke liye shadi se pehle yeh sab accept karna difficult hai but if it happens after marriage then eventually everyone accepts willingly or unwillingly.. So in ideal situation girl has done the right thing but boy's perspective is practically more viable..
Girl is completely right and honest...boy is hiding facts or bad me girl ko adjust karne ko bol dega...also ur point is good ..what about girl parents? Shadi bhi is tarah se girl family breaker hai...girl ki family ka khayal kon rakhega.. Or privacy ni rehti in laws k sath...girl ko hi sacrifice krna padta or mental depression jhelna padega
Agar ladka kanhi dusri city me job karta.tab bhi to wo sath jati na.tab to use nahi Bola jata ghar tod diya.you are right ruchi.us ne kuchh bhi galat nahi Kiya.baate agar pahle hi clear hi jaye to jyada better hai.
Absolutely right or agr jo mother in law h unhe ye sari baate pahle apne bete se krni thi ya fir sath me ladke ki present me honi chahiye thi to chize zyada clear hoti qunki responsibility dono dono ki change hongi ab jo mother in law ne sari bate same to batai nahi hongi kuch to Tut fut hui hogi bato ke sath so apki friend ko firse sochna chahiye qunki Puri life ka sawal h
pahele you are absolutely right. My thought also same. And my suggestions is that shaadi ke pahele ye haal hai tho future kisne dekha hai. Usko bolo Jo bhi decided karegi wo soch samaj ke kare.
Ruchi meri family mae ek couple hae jo shadi baad parents ko private life mae hurdle kahte the but ab baby ho gaya hae night shift ki job hae ab baby ki take care k liye saas ko apne sath rakha hae ab aap isko kya bolegi reply jaroor karna waiting for your reply ❤❤
Ekdm Sahi bol rhi hai ap Ruchi mam us ladki ne koi galat bat nhi boli hai apne thoughts vo apni mother in law k samne rakhi hai to kya galat kiya fir bolte hai ki bahu ko beti bnakr rakhenge to beti apni mom se sb free hoke hi to share krengi mother in law ko bhi to smjhna hoga na mam
बेटी की ससुराल में इन लॉज के साथ रहना मुश्किल है मैं तो साफ देख रही हूँ। जब तक मेरे इन लॉज़ मेरे साथ नहीं रहते थे मेरी मम्मी आराम से आती थीं यहां तक कि मेरी प्रेगनेंसी और मेरे बेटे के जन्म के समय बहुत किया मम्मी ने और कोई दिखाई भी नहीं पड़ा कभी लेकिन अब मम्मी को मेरे घर आते कंफर्ट नहीं होता।
Hii ruchi, i m from odisha but now i m staying banglore with my husband and my two girl kids.tum jo bole sahi bole.kiyunki ruchi mere sath mere sasural aur mere husband hamesha se mujhe dominant karne ki koshish karte han but jabse sadi hue he tabse but me har baar boldly face ki hunaur abhi recent me meri sasu maa meri chis churae aur me usko meri husband ke aage pakad li aur husband ke samne to jhagda karti rahi aur sab ne mujhe dosh dia ki choti baat ko kiyn bol rahi ho jab ki woh chori ki galat nahi me bol di galat.jabse se sadi hue han tabse meri gehne se lekar sab chori kia aur me saare chis lake meri mother house me rakh di to sab lok milke mujhe bleme kar rahe han ki tumhare peer wale beti ki chis jabardasti pakad ke rakhe han please batana men kya karu.en logo ko kya karna han mujhe pata han phir bhi aap ka suggestion chahiye
Woh ladki sahi hai, par mera hi dekho pehle me akeli rah rahi thi ab meri badi beti Or mera 11 Month ka ladka . Mummy daddy ko( sas, sasur) ko bulaya. Or ek baat mere papa nahi hai meri mummy he akeli heart patient hai or meri bhabhi aesa kahe k meri mummy sath nhi rahe to aisa to nhi ho saktaa. Sab situation mein set nhi hota ye vala. 🙂
Totally agree with you Ruchi... ye sab points uss ladki ne pehle hi share kiye jo ki fair and justified hain... ye sab 99.9% adjustments k expectations as per our society always falls on girls part.... sabko ek life mili hai just live it according to your choice...why bother yourself. ladke ko bhi sochna chahiye tha aur jab shadi k pehle aise convince karne me laga hai toh baad me toh kya hi bol sakte hain...
I loved the way you raised your voice for Kolkata incident. Real influencer.
Ladke ko to pehle se pata tha na kya timing hain ladki ka.. or yeh uske ghar mein nahi chalega
To woh pehle nahi bata skta tha ki mere ghar wale nhi adjust honge yeh chizo k liye
Jo abhi stand nhi le skta woh aage kya lega
U r just a replica of my thoughts... cz I 1000 percent agree with u.... whatever u have said and ur thoughts is totally correct ❤❤❤... even I have 7 month daughter.. I kw they will be more forward and we have to be like them.❤ so tell ur friend don't compromise wanna life he'll hojaegi bhai
Hi Ruchi,
Everything you shared is right and even i also think the same but just want to share my story, I also work in IT company and my work timings are 5:30 P.M to 2:30 A.M(Work from home) and I woke up in morning(afternoon) at 12 usually or sometimes 1 and my mother in law is always tell me agar me thoda jaldi uth jati hu to ki so leti rat m late ho jata h tumhe and even she hired a cook kuki wo sochti h ki m thak jati hu to breakfast and lunch kese bnaugi and She is so proud of me that ki agar koi relative bhi ata h to bhi muje kbhi ni jgati or yhi bolti h ki wo kam krti h office ka, So i just want to say one thing ki every Mother in law is not same, some are very understanding. and every in laws are not same some are very very supportive my whole family is so supportive Its been 3 years since i got married and I haven't heard even one negative statement from any of my in laws.
100% right, saath rehkar rishte kharaab karne se accha, hai shuru se dur raho, space maintain rakho, ek dusre ki respect bani rahegi, pyar bana raheg. Aur jab shuru mein hi yeh baat sab accept kar lete hai, toh sab ki life easy hojati hai.
The girl and you point of view is 100 percent correct. Thats all. No need to explain ourselves much. Pyaar gaya tel lene.and this example i have seen with my one of my friend. Tell that girl that she will get good guy and flexible who will respect her
Hi Ruchi .. I totally agree with you if both parents of boy are living together so they can manage alone but what if only one parent is alive? I lost my Dad 2years ago and my bhabhi is having same work profile.. my mother is all alone now sometimes she comes to Pune to my house and she is looking his son ( my brother) for support .. and sometimes she lives alone in her hometown bhaiya bhabhi looks after her nicely and she also give them their space .. So I think this we as a girl/ boy should also understand the need of a parent and help them accordingly
Bhai sabko working ladki chahiye lekin uske sath adjustment koi nahi karna chahta, sabko chahiye ma baap ki sewa bhi kare ghar ka 3 time khana bhi banaye or financial support bhi de. Isliye ajkal ladkiyan shadi nahi karna chahti ab and thats valid
Marriage is so scary. Meri shadi ni hui hai bt ye sare case dekh kr bhot dar lgta hai. Mummy hmesa bolti hai thoda adjust krna hota hai bt mujhse hoga ya nai pata nai.
I absolutely agree with u bcoz I went through all these traumas but after 14 yrs of marriage now working as a teacher now fully satisfied though it's not a easy task. Thnx for raising voice & putting ur point of view.
I think she is right... Ghr todna kya hota hai... Bahu ne apne points pehle hi clear kr dia .. agar wo after marriage ye sb bolti den ye tag lg jata humre bete ko alag kr dia ... In my points of view dur raho pyar se raho... Obviously dono working hai but ghr ki Sari responsibility girls ko hi manage karni padti hai
Your frnd is practical n right..the way her partner trying to manage Mom n partners I hv faced..boys think they can mange later on life but it's wrong yes privacy is required..telling from my experience do job wot ever u hv to maintain daily routine early morning getting up everything expectations r high..yes nobody will tolerate in laws but the way our mom telling sab saho it's wrong bhai why wud we tolerate 1gm even wen it's wrong than wrong no need to tolerate..
Hi Di, You know I watch all your videos regularly, but commenting after a long time.
Aap jo bhi bol rahe ho, I can relate to that completely. I am going through the same situation, it is mentally exhausting to make people understand! That girl is absolutely right, Acha hua shaadi se pehle clear ho gaya otherwise after marriage it’s even more difficult! It’s so difficult for a working woman to adjust in a joint family I can’t even begin to explain! I can relate to her completely. Har baat pe yahi bola Jata hai ki ladki ko toh adjust karna hi padta hai! Even though we are financially independent, I feel like we are not yet independent!
आपकी सारी बातें एक तरफ है
Chalo kisine toh Sach bola
Not a single point of that girl said is wrong. Hats off to her that she cleared her opinions before marriage. Exactly pyar gaya tel lene. That boy is a coward in my eyes. Ye sb situation ko talne k bahane hote hain ki shadi hone k baad krte ye sb n all. . If he genuinely wants to be with her, he will otherwise ma ka ladla ban k hi rahe aise ldke. I am not a working women still i don't want to live with my in laws.
Your points on this topic are really nice....i am 100 percent agree with you....
Mera manna he k girl is ryt bt the way she talked to her mil is not ryt....saf bolna achhi bat he bt badtamizi sahi nhi hoti...as a female I can understand the view of that girl bt as a mom of 2 sons I also understand the metal state of that lady ...isi bat ko softly nd politely bhi bola ja skta he...apna paksh zrur rakhe lekin tahzib k dayre me...hm kaise us lady ka apman kr skte he jo hmare partner ki maa he( male nd female both)...
Bilkul sahi kaha aapne.. yaha par sab log bina kuch soche bus 'absolutely correct ' likhe ja rhe h
Hi Ruchi Di, all this has happened exactly with me.
I have arranged marriage and we had clearly mentioned that once lockdown will be over will move to bangalore.
And for 2 years I stayed with my inlaws managing all this shift timings.
Cook rakhna ya maids rakhna bhi itni badi problem ho gyi thi..
She is 100 % right
Abhi se clear karlo but change the way of conveying it..
❤
jo mind me chl raha tha apke. puri bhadash nikali 😅😅but u r right. pta nhi kyu Main apse kafi relate krti hu thinking ko lekar
Another thing I want to share is, mentality also doesn't matter everytime. I've seen many examples, parents' rules for their own daughters and daughter-in-laws are totally different. Daughter-in-law also understands everything, she is also matured. So, obviously she will choose to live her life with her own terms without any competition, partiality with anybody else.
Meri MIL ka bi yahi haal hai.. Galti unke bete ki hoti hai.. Or baate mjhe sunati hai.. But ab mai bi chup ni rehti or unse pyaar se smjha deti hu.. K meri galti ho to bolo.. Warna apne bete ko bolo
She did right.... No doubt.
Honest & Upfront
She is absolutely right at her place...if the MIL want their DIL to be like her when she got married (old thought process) then why would they want to educate their sons at first place . These old ladies needs to understand this
सही बात कही है आपने यही different ho gya hai , sahi kiya hai aapki friend ne
Hii ruchii di .. mujhe apki baate bhut achi lgti h … esa lgta h ap bolte raho bass .. or ap bilkul sahi bol rahe ho jisa ap soch rahe ho mai bi vasi sochti hu … mai toh ya bi sochti hu aj kal koi bi inlaw ke sth nahi rahna chalta h qki sabko comfortable rhna h freedom chiye … Tkh bi h ya
I just paused the vdo n commenting...the girl didn't do anything wrong,ekdum clear baat ki aur apna view rakha, abhi ye haal agar hai to baad mein kya hi hoga...so she is absolutely right..
I loved your video❤❤ I did the same mistake and was adjusting. It does affect your mental health alotttt...thank you for bringing this topic..I want you to do a 2hr podcast on DIL and MIL topic and joint family......but I appreciate you have given me strength to decide what to do next..thank you Ruchi❤
Exactly ajj k time mei hum kehte hai ki beta beti mei fark ni hai but sach ye h ki bete or Bahu mei fark hai. Ladka apni family k lye sochta h toh girl k lye b uske parents jaruri hai
I totally agree with you. Even little things that happens in house after their son’s marriage ITS BAHU’S FAULT. Wahi on the other hand unko beti ke sath kuch bhi ni tolerate kar sakte BUT DO THE SAME WITH THEIR BAHU
Apki nayi ring to purani ring ko overshadow kr rahi hai.... Aur kuhu humesha hi princess lagti hai ❤
Right Ruchi Aap ki Friend ne bilkul sahi kiya kyuki apni baatein bhi definitely batani chiye. Sachi har baar Ladki galat hoti hai yeh bikul wrong hai. Freedom sabhi ko pasand hai tho vo DIL ko bhi milna chiye🙂. Kuhu babu ko bhaut sara Pyaar❤😘
Wow Ruchi well said.. this is the inner voice of every women which is always unsaid❤
As per my opinion, if I am at her position, then my choice would be the same like separate home and life (physical) from in-laws. Bcz now a days as you said hum aisi generation me he where we have to balance everything. We have to raise our voices where we are right or for our rights, and hum ko thoda jelna bhi hoga bcz we can see things with both the sides (ours and our in-laws and parents) but still what we must do is to think twice before act. As a mother of a 2.5 years old daughter, i and my husband both teach her to say out loud what she wants, to decide what she wants and also if anyone hurts her, hurt him/her as much as he/she think twice before hurting her again. I really wish now a days a boy mother and father raise their son not as male but as a human then only world will normalised.
It's may sound bitter but truth is no girl like to stay in a joint family. Alag raho pyar se raho, dukh - sukh me sath raho.
For sanity of our own, theirs it's important to be distant.
I support you ruchiiii
You are absolutely right!!!
Please don’t change
Stop that marriage
That girl is absolutely 100%right. And I totally agree with your thoughts about in- laws and sath me rehne wala point . I don’tunderstand why many people in-laws and husband still not understand this thought process. And then all the blames comes upon the girl. And I absolutely appreciate you that every time you catched our inner voice about girls and society norms because hr ladki ke man ki bat hai ye❤.
You’re absolutely right 👍🏻
If you someone suffers from trauma
It doesn't mean to pass on that to another generation
Kisi ko to woh generation trauma todna hoga.
I agree with you di 😊 meri bhi yahi soch hai ki ladkiya hi kyu adjust kare 😊 me bhi daily vlog banati hu 😊
Tbh I agree with your thoughts!
But I am lucky to have MIL like me.. she has had a lot during her time but she said I wont pass this on to my DIL..
She said to her son-beta muze jeans pehne wali bahu chahiye joh muze gaadi meh ghuma sake!
Also, I had stay away from them and then now with them-but they are soooo open that I don’t have any discomfort
Hi Ruchi...you do chemical treatments on your hair as well as you have tried herbal products also...can you give us your input on both of these things so that we have a clear understanding about them, how they are in their performance.
Agar mother in law b working ho or bahu b working ho.. mother in law hamesha expect krti hai ki bahu dono kam manage kre.. apki friend bilkul theek ki bad me kya ho pata ni..
Hey Ruchi, can you please share the link for Kuhu's playmat?
Sb ko alg hi rehna cahiye ek hi city ya ek building me . Older logo ki food routine alg hote h or aaj ke logo ke alg . Freedom sb ko cahiye . Life h bojh nh . Main pyar hona cahiye or respect. Or main dimag ki shani
Bilkul shi kaha usne kyuki ek bar agar compromise kiya to puri life expectation bdti rhegi fir jakr aap fatogy r ek dusre ka chehra tk bhi nhi dekhogy.... Hsbnd bichara dono me pisega r ladki bhi puri trh se tut jayegi puri married life khrab ho jati h... Ye bate ldko ko bhi smjhni chahiye
I am totally agree with you Ruchi isme kuch galat nahi hai or ajke jamane me apne apne point rakhna bhi galat nahi hai
Har bar ladke bhi galat nahi hote it’s not about boy and girl ye Abhi ye bhi bolne ka waqt nahi he k Har bar ladki hi kyu sahe … maine aur hum sab ne of course dekha he girls also can be wrong.. so ye ek different issue he
The thing is people lie that they are ready for truth. But when you tell the truth on their face they call you as problem creator. The girl is right on her point. She should clear the matter with her guy, because the thought process of the boy will impact the matter the most
Always love your tadak dhadak way😊
She is absolutely right and ur point is also right.
Pyar kha he ruchi I am agree with you….sas bahu beti maa in sab me ladka ladki jinho ne pyar kiya aur 6/7 years se sath the un ka kya … boy k perspective se bhi thoda sochna chahiye … we are adults and raised by parents very well but in too much practical life emotional quotient can’t be lacking and m afraid k next generation me kisi ko kisi se pyar hi nahi rahega .. No doubt I am mother of a single daughter but still thinking about that boy who loves the girl and girl is looking for her 2 years project that’s not fare it should be decided by both the families ye nahi k ladki aur sas bat kr le and point clear kr le..
Agree at some point ...
Ese karne se to aage chal kar sare relation khatam hi ho jaenge, m bhi apne inlow's ke sath raheti hu janti hu adjust karn padta hai par sirf ladki ko hi nahi ladko ko bhi aur uski family bhi humare hisaab se adjust karti hai ye m dekh rahi hu jese humare ladke aur uski family se expansions hoti hai wese hi unki bhi hoti hai ese to sare rishte hi khatm ho jaege ,jese ladki ka jurm shena galt hai wese hi ladke aur uski family ko jane bhi na is tarha se aapne thoughts bana lena bhi galt hai
Sorry but not agree to u .aajkal privacy ke naam per girls inlaws ke saath nahe rahte .shaadi ho gayi to bus boy apne parents se matlab khatam.mai bhi job karti hoo or mere in laws dheere dheere support karne lage hai.her point ki privacy and can't do work is rubbish.aajkal work pattern sab samjhte hai or adjust karte hai.yahe ladikya hoti hai jinhe apne motherhood se bhi depression ho jata hai
Independent means don't need anyone , don't listen to anyone don't respect just because u r earning.itna jayaada practical hona tabhi depression ke cases badh rahe hai.dont say humare generation i m working my whole family support me with my kids and all don't justify the worng things on the name of new generation
I agree with u ruchi i live with my in laws kch achi bate he kch buri bate bhi he bt wht to do this is life ❤
She is right 👍.....
U r right ruchi and she did good tk stand for your self 1st…
Your friend's sister isn't wrong... But aajkal log digest nahi kar paate itna upfront hona.... Though it's a very practical and honest answer she gave according to her situation.... But Kitna bhi aap adjust kar lo... MIL ke saath thoda issues hote hi h...vo judgement humesha hota hi rehta h... It's her home, she has been having a life around her all the time... Hum ab aake cheezen badle ya new things start kare vo unke liye bhi ekdam new hota h... So dono ka perspective hai...but yes expectations pehle ke time jaisi nahi rakhna chahiye.. now girls are working, independent... Everybody should have their personal space now... Parents and inlaws both should understand this... To have a happy and peaceful life... Let's understand each other and give space.
Aajkl k time mein kisi k saath rehna waise bhi mushkil hai.. uppar se in laws k saath... Kahin na kahin sahi kiya hai...bt ab husband is baat ko pacha nai pa rahe hain ..
no she is totally right
The reason I chose a guy who lives away from his family already is because I never wanted anybody to interfere in my life. Moreover I never wanted to change myself. My husband accepted me just the way I am and so I try to change myself a bit for his happiness. And that’s the fact. You give what you get. If a guy can’t take a stand for a girl then I believe he is not compatible enough for her. She should move on.
Meri shadi hui kuch time baad mai pregnant hui uske baad mujhe pata chala ki husband ka extra marital affair h n wahi sbko pata h h family me koi unko samjhata nhi h sb mujhe kehte hain adjust kro .. main chor diya us aadmi ko.. abhi i am with my baby girl.. alone.. bahot muskil h but wo jhelne se behtar h yr.. ekdam nark bana diya tha meri life mere husband n saas ne.. maine bhi kaha tha alag rehta hain mujhe property bhi mat do.. lekin wahi ki isko ghar todna h
I agree with every single word uttered by you...
U r absolutely right. Ldke apni pdai or job k lie ghr se jate h to jruri lgta h pr agr shadi k bad ldki alg ka keh de to wo glt ho jati h. Q ldki b to apna ghr chhod k aai h na, ldko me himmt q ni h fr. Or ye kehna k sasural esa hi hota h saas esi hi hoti h, to bhai aj ki ldkia b esi hi hoti bat pasand aaye to thik ni to akele rho hmesha
Hey I have one more thing to discuss if you can suggest what is right and what is wrong from both the perspectives:
we are two siblings me and my brother and I lost my father last year and my mother lives alone in Mathura which is our home town and me and my brother both are in Noida, So the issue if My brother's GF who is a hard core non veg and my mom is typical Mathurawasi who do bhog daily and avoid even garlic and My brother's GF has no issue with my mom staying with them after marriage but she has condition that she will not leave non veg and my mother said that she can eat outside but she is like i'll make at home as well as i can not leave because mene bachpan se khaya h and that is understood as well, and she doesn't want to have babies and my mom is like mera ek hi beta h I also want pota/poti, and my doesn't want to stay with us because unko bete se bhut pyar h , now you tell me how to handle this situation and who is wrong and who is right.
Sorry but i am messaging you. Tell your brother gf and mother if she want to eat home made non veg . She can cook in home with different gas stove keep different utensils. Not to cook non veg in kitchen. So that your mother can cook bhoog in kitchen. Dono ko adjust karna hoga ishme.
You are right ruchi.
Hi Ruchi, kuch situation aise hote hain jisme ladki sirf ghut ghut ke jeeti rahti hai aur kuch nahi kar sakti... Meri family me ek ladki hai,uske na father hain aur n brother uski 2sisters aur hain jo bahut achhi situation me nahi hai aur uski mother ki age bhi approx 60+ hai aur uski shadi ek aise ladke se kar di gayi hai jo sirf apni family ke liye phle to us ladki ko mentally torture krta tha aur ab uska aur beta ho gya hai to wo apni wife ko chahta hai ki kapde aur khane pe jindagi bhar uski naukrani banke rahe,usko pta hai ki uski family me koe ni hai to wo usi bat ka fayda uthata hai ki ab ye kahi nahi ja Sakti aur wo ladki sirf apne bachhe ke liye use chhod ke ni ja rahi aur mental health bilkul khrab ho chuki hai uski...ek hansti khelti ladki ab hume milti hai to bat tak nahi krti,logo ke sath uthati baithati tak nh wo....and we can't do anything for her...
Girl has been honest and shared her thoughts.. but boy's perspective is also right that they could have called this out after marriage.. Elders ka thought process different hota hai and unke liye shadi se pehle yeh sab accept karna difficult hai but if it happens after marriage then eventually everyone accepts willingly or unwillingly.. So in ideal situation girl has done the right thing but boy's perspective is practically more viable..
I totally agree with you. It's better to stay separate. I experienced staying with in-laws. I had to sacrifice so many things.
Every girls inner voice...but every girl cannot say this to their inlaws 😢
Girl is completely right and honest...boy is hiding facts or bad me girl ko adjust karne ko bol dega...also ur point is good ..what about girl parents? Shadi bhi is tarah se girl family breaker hai...girl ki family ka khayal kon rakhega.. Or privacy ni rehti in laws k sath...girl ko hi sacrifice krna padta or mental depression jhelna padega
well said i totally agree with u
101 % true
100.% right ruchi.. ❤
Yes ruchi meri soch apke jaise hai but ye sari ki sari baatein husband ki trf se and in laws ki trf se but kya kare shaadi to chalani hai💔
She is absolutely right Ruchi...
Hi Ruchi …you are absolutely right in today’s discussion 👍
Same thought with me I agree with you 😊
Agar ladka kanhi dusri city me job karta.tab bhi to wo sath jati na.tab to use nahi Bola jata ghar tod diya.you are right ruchi.us ne kuchh bhi galat nahi Kiya.baate agar pahle hi clear hi jaye to jyada better hai.
Absolutely right or agr jo mother in law h unhe ye sari baate pahle apne bete se krni thi ya fir sath me ladke ki present me honi chahiye thi to chize zyada clear hoti qunki responsibility dono dono ki change hongi ab jo mother in law ne sari bate same to batai nahi hongi kuch to Tut fut hui hogi bato ke sath so apki friend ko firse sochna chahiye qunki Puri life ka sawal h
I mostly saw in matured women who are working but still dependent on husbands
She is doing right......
I think the girl did the right thing. Agr phle se clear kr do sahi rhta hai.
Very well said 👍❤️
Totally agree with you 💯
pahele you are absolutely right. My thought also same. And my suggestions is that shaadi ke pahele ye haal hai tho future kisne dekha hai. Usko bolo Jo bhi decided karegi wo soch samaj ke kare.
I agree your point of you
Ur frnd is very right... Tell her to be on her stand.... Pyaar ke chakkar mai compromise na kare... Better relationship thod de
Completely agree with you I faced the same
Main bhi aapki sari baato main agree 👍 krti hu..
Ruchi totally agree with you.
Mere same problem 😢😢😢😢😢😢
True yar same though with you
Ruchi meri family mae ek couple hae jo shadi baad parents ko private life mae hurdle kahte the but ab baby ho gaya hae night shift ki job hae ab baby ki take care k liye saas ko apne sath rakha hae ab aap isko kya bolegi reply jaroor karna waiting for your reply ❤❤
Yes I am facing 90 marriage problem but still I am processing
so relevant…. every female will relate to thisss
Ekdm Sahi bol rhi hai ap Ruchi mam us ladki ne koi galat bat nhi boli hai apne thoughts vo apni mother in law k samne rakhi hai to kya galat kiya fir bolte hai ki bahu ko beti bnakr rakhenge to beti apni mom se sb free hoke hi to share krengi mother in law ko bhi to smjhna hoga na mam
💯 Right...
She is right
बेटी की ससुराल में इन लॉज के साथ रहना मुश्किल है मैं तो साफ देख रही हूँ। जब तक मेरे इन लॉज़ मेरे साथ नहीं रहते थे मेरी मम्मी आराम से आती थीं यहां तक कि मेरी प्रेगनेंसी और मेरे बेटे के जन्म के समय बहुत किया मम्मी ने और कोई दिखाई भी नहीं पड़ा कभी लेकिन अब मम्मी को मेरे घर आते कंफर्ट नहीं होता।
I m totally agree with u ruchi
Hii ruchi, i m from odisha but now i m staying banglore with my husband and my two girl kids.tum jo bole sahi bole.kiyunki ruchi mere sath mere sasural aur mere husband hamesha se mujhe dominant karne ki koshish karte han but jabse sadi hue he tabse but me har baar boldly face ki hunaur abhi recent me meri sasu maa meri chis churae aur me usko meri husband ke aage pakad li aur husband ke samne to jhagda karti rahi aur sab ne mujhe dosh dia ki choti baat ko kiyn bol rahi ho jab ki woh chori ki galat nahi me bol di galat.jabse se sadi hue han tabse meri gehne se lekar sab chori kia aur me saare chis lake meri mother house me rakh di to sab lok milke mujhe bleme kar rahe han ki tumhare peer wale beti ki chis jabardasti pakad ke rakhe han please batana men kya karu.en logo ko kya karna han mujhe pata han phir bhi aap ka suggestion chahiye
Woh ladki sahi hai, par mera hi dekho pehle me akeli rah rahi thi ab meri badi beti Or mera 11 Month ka ladka . Mummy daddy ko( sas, sasur) ko bulaya.
Or ek baat mere papa nahi hai meri mummy he akeli heart patient hai or meri bhabhi aesa kahe k meri mummy sath nhi rahe to aisa to nhi ho saktaa. Sab situation mein set nhi hota ye vala. 🙂
Plz sare moisture for pimple prone skin
Hame acha Banna hi nhi ghre se rishta Tod ke aate he tab kisi ko nahi lagta ke ye apne logo ko chodkar apna ghar chhod ke aai he🙏🙏🙏🙏