FYI: Single meaning IRS filing status. You can have a girlfriend but you still file as 'single'. Hope that clears things up as I've gotten about 20 comments about this.
I was a student & my husband was working full-time when we met. He paid for almost all our meals in first few years of dating but we were a frugal couple. A bowl of pho or value meals at McDs on the weekends wasn't going to break his bank. When it comes to shopping, I paid 100% for anything I like to buy. As I worked and earned more than him, I paid 80% of time from that point onwards. We eventually tied the knot & have been together for almost 28 years now.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 If you make it past year 10, it will last. If you were born up to 60s and 70s and had marriages up to the 80s, you are safe.
I never let my girlfriend pay for dates. But she cooks dinner for me multiple times more than I take her out, and contributes to my happiness in other ways. I also make multiple times more than her, so unless I just don’t want to go out, it doesn’t make sense for me to ask her to pay for dates all the time.
@@BeatTheBush in so many many cases the men bring much more to the table and certain women just expect all they have to do is just be there and that makes things equal.
@Julian, the moment you start equating a dollar value to love, the actions of love and perception of love, you will lose your lover. Every relationship is different and unique and the energy one puts out is felt by the other whether the words are spoken or unspoken. BTB love advice may work for him... this is questionable in itself. You have a gf that loves you and cares for you. Do you know how much time, energy and money go into making a homemade meal? It's a scary world when you place a dollar value on another human's worth, no matter what perspective you approach it from. Take care.
@@72sunrise Yeah, well, reality hits and the fact of the matter is, you are defined by $. Push comes to shove, that job you have will be the only thing holding you between life and death, a parent, a guidance, etc. Relationships come and go. The most a wife or gf can afford one is a companion, but she is still taking up $, she wants to be "paid" accordingly. Majority of parents never ask for their kids to give them money, they always fund and love is unconditional. But again, anyone not blood, is just a stranger. Scary but true.
With my fiancée, I paid for the first few dates. Once we became stable and more consistent, we started splitting. We split most things now except for some special occasions(ex valentines, anniversary) where I pay. In terms of bases I think that depends on the girl and guy dynamics and views on intimacy. We are more conservation (religion based).
I'd say trying to understand their financial stance and how they deal with money in general is the most important thing. Its not about who pays when. Its about how frugal or not frugal they are - with your money and theirs. Eventually, everything yours and theirs should ideally become 'ours'.
Companies want good slaves who are married/have kids. After about 20 years working, I'll tell young people you should not have any loyalty to any organization, they will turn on you in a second when its convenient and fire/replace you. Also to ensure no slavery, young people dont get married and dont get a girl pregnant, make sure she takes the birth control pill daily in front of you and both wear protection. You will just condemn your new child to increasing poverty and freedomless slavery and these control/money/job trends worsen. Promote this idea in videos and social media to help prevent more young people into this new slavery.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 Most believe the current state was a proposition made by the government, corporations, etc. Corporations want you to work for them to sustain a marriage. The government needs the votes and so will put in laws to get some of the $ off marriages. The corporations then want high spenders to buy their stuff. Who is affected? The breadwinner.
That chart is hilarious, boiling down sex and resources spent. Francis absolutely must get a prenup in a community property state like California or he'll pay the ultimate price in divorce grape down the line.
Prenups are worthless. Get one, but put all your finances in a charitable trust before marriage. Wouldn’t hurt to have an offshore account also. Best advice though is just to not get married or cohabitate.
@@BeatTheBush in cohabitation states like yours, chances are girls know your wealth and will find a loophole to get your money. Just be legally protected
If you are trying to reach financial independence, it adds another layer to the dating experience and finding someone who is also interested in reaching that goal. From my experience, stay away from those types that expect you to pay all the time and like “nice things.” You will end up looking rich but being poor. In the past, I’ve taken turns paying with the person I was dating which emphasized my interest in a partnership relationship.
kei214 it’s a little bit more trickier when you are talking about wanting to become financially independent. A lot of people say they want to be but aren’t willing to make the commitments necessary to do so.
You totally ignored the time value investment for being a woman! Making sure she has attractive hair and makeup takes hours, shopping for clothes shopping for shoes buying makeup... I could easily spend two hours getting ready for a date. So no matter how much more I might be making I have invested 2 hours in a guy that probably invested 15 minutes in a shower & he is wearing clothes that he probably wears to work. I remember when you had so many mgtow readers I always wondered if they understood this?! They certainly don't Factor it in.
All right, you get a plate worth cost of living for two hours in the state you reside in. We need to make sure the amount is adjusted after taxes are taken out and includes health insurance. Also, MGTOW is not about harming you guys. It is about being fair, in a society, where something went really wrong. Equality is fine, but marital laws is the main focus. There is so much $ that changes hands that was never earned by the receiving party. This results in one gender not being on the same page with the other.
Though your chart doesn’t apply to my cultural values, I agree that it’s good to be on the same page with finances. I knew hubby and I were on the same page early on partly because of how we navigated finances on dates. Finances in a relationship are all about communication. If you’re not able to communicate about finances it’s a red flag.
Red flag for me, I’m not risk tolerant so I would want someone that is more into index/ mutual funds, but still a great question as a test on a date, could be worded different in my case so it’s not a real test but more of a question like what do you invest in
My boyfriend & I split everything evenly in the beginning, then I made more so I would pay for some more things. Then recently my income dropped and he started paying for everything, so then I started doing more housework & things. It’s great to be on the same page & pick up slack when the other needs it!
I get what you mean about independence. My family taught me not to let a man ever get the idea that you “owe” him for his “investment”. Splitting the bill or finding other things to pay for to keep things on equal footing has always been a thing. With hubby and I paying the bill eventually became a game to see who could pay first. Two grown people battling to see who can treat the other. It got ridiculous. 🤣
Nothing wrong with that! Us guys are sort of wired to take care of the woman in a relationship. It's actually biologically natural for us to do this. A very tough cultural development for both sides, to be sure.
I think you failed to factor in the added cost of being female. I think a lot of modern females do this, you probably washed your hair blew it dry fixed it spent a couple hours taking a shower bought clothes that were attractive on you make sure they were clean, pressed etc. Took an hour on your makeup.... The guy probably spent 15 minutes in the shower and there he is! There is a Time value as well for women dating I think the man paying makes perfect sense unless I can just throw up my dirty hair into a ponytail and show up at the McDonald's with flip flops on?
@@Zaerki The reason I think this changed was because abuse from both sides. Add in marital laws and these movements popping up and the outcome is a mess. Arranged marriages had it to where the fefail's parents pay a lump sum to the groom and they get married. That would be offensive in the Western world. But who is to state that that could not be what she gets back in divorce? ;) Changes everything right?
@@P.90.603 Hi. To answer your question, yes, here are examples of successful men who talk about being financially independent: Pete from MrMoneyMustache, Brandon from MadFientist, Jeremy from GoCurryCracker. Let me know if you need more examples.
imo if you feel like you have to give any thought as to whether to pay or not, maybe you need to figure out how to make more money before asking girls on dates. As a guy it should be such a completely non-thing to even consider, you just pay. Because all of human history and progress of mankind has revolved around men being the providers. Male biology is literally coded to be a provider and subconscious issues arise when a man is unable or unwilling to provide. It’s pretty easy to figure out if a girl will be a gold-digger and abuse this or if she’s a genuine girl who isn’t focused on that, focus on her personality, not the money. Most guys will lie to themselves and say a really hot girl is not a gold-digger and is genuine, so the tough part is being honest with yourself and look past those love blinders.
Not when society was readjusted. If you do not know what I mean, look at all movements in history. They were provided for because they had no rights. Nothing more than a mere child. It's not a man's decision, self accountability has to be taken by both parties.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 all of society didn’t readjust. There’s massive cultures that still function the same way. Only some partial sects of western secular culture have adjusted. Actually, I think those who have adjusted are in the minority. There are entire countries, religions, cultures that never adjusted, or did adjust but to a very very small degree.
This is interesting, and I completely agree. You are very candid, thanks for keeping it real and being so forward. Liked your finances talks too (even better actually), keep up the good work!
Call me old fashioned, but a home run should only happen on the marriage night. This makes all those hoping for a preview sample to break up usually by the 2nd or 3rd date. This is best achieved when the couple do not move in with each other until after the honeymoon. I loved shocking my friends when I told them my husband and I weren’t living together until after the honeymoon. We waited!! It also makes for a healthier and happier marriage. Oh, and the wedding actually means something too! I’ve been happily married for 14 years now. 😊
That probably makes sense for a lot of people in their younger days, such as early 20s. BTB and I are early 40's...this ain't our first rodeo, might as well get a ride in when everyone gets comfy 😊
@@jdthompson5778 I disagree, my wife and I have our own separate accounts and also a household account, we pool our expenses into the household account by ratio of how much we make. Then 60% of what each of us has left is put into our joint investing account and the remaining 40% we do whatever we want to do with it. There's no arguments on how money is spent and we have our bases covered.
@@Aiyahhh You wrote bases XD But I think separate accounts shows more maturity. If someone is that dependent to need someone else's money to be secure, they are not fully into the getting along with the actual relationship. We have to understand that the people we are with are strangers, it's true. But separate does not mean you will not splurge on another person every once in a while or gift them. FYI: Your $ is still going to her in a divorce. lol The judge is not going to care. The judge is going to want good publicity and if word gets out he/she just screwed her over or ruled against her..he/she will be out of a job.
You really need to get out of that Liberal echo chamber you're in, to fully understand the concept of being Single. It is a universally accepted principle, and the white Liberal has made a mockery of it!!!
I have dated many girls. Let me tell you, on a first date you go for coffee. Maybe a mid priced restaurant for a second date. If she doesn’t offer to pay a portion, this is a good indication that she might not be a keeper. Life is expensive for everyone. Women want equality but not in every fields.
This is heavily a cultural issue. Many girls from many cultures were constantly told by their parents that the right guy will pay for them without question. So you’re basically biasing yourself against girls who are simply doing how their culture/parents dictated and tossing them aside for the most trivial reason. You shouldn’t be thinking about money, at all, while you’re getting to know a girl. Focus hard on her personality only and forget everything else… money is a topic that comes much later in a relationship.
@@dotdashdotdash And government needs votes to make things happen. 15-20 years ago Regan signed a bill that gives no reason for a divorce to happen. 40 years ago, marital laws were put into place. No one though "Let's take out mass transfer of $ because everyone is in the workforce now."
I feel like who ever offers the date should pay. I went on a date with a girl a while back who asked me out and when the check came I just assumed I’d pay but she would not let me because it was her who asked me out. I tried to convince her to let me pay but I could see it was a losing battle lol. I appreciated that
I think it should be whoever accepts. If they really wanted to be there, they would pay for it. You already did your part by asking her out. Yeah, I know, it goes against everything ever taught, but....
I always let the man pay. But I rarely ever dated. My exes were always someone I already knew. But if a guy asks me out, he better bring his wallet lol. Gonna be honest, if there's true feelings, money shouldn't even be a thing to even think about. If you have to think about it this much, you should probably keep looking. I've always shopped for exes, clothes, food, whatever. Didn't care. Wow. Dating sounds so complicated lol.
Back in the days, it's a gauge to weigh in a man's ability to provide during the times I may be pregnant and raising our kids. If he's generous, he's in the pool for potential partner, if not, no matter how great is his personality', I'll pass. I never offer to pay on first date. I think I have chosen well. I don't buy equality like that. Equality goes deeper than that. We all have our own purpose in life. .
I agree 100% with you. Never paid on dates with my now husband until we got seriously committed and I wouldn't pay for dates anyways I would just buy groceries and cook
i would say that the max limit imo is like price for high end escort in your town if we are to really be cheap with dating economics. I refuse to spend more in total dates than what it would cost for an escort. and on the other hand, if looking for relationship, i would price things in terms of mail order brides. when underwriting the emotional attraction, how much is too much? I personally would budget a 3x overall cost to find a local wife, and if not succeeding in that than i gotta find a foreign one and live with that which is doable.
Always date someone who has something to offer, business type, or at least someone who is an entrepreneur. Don’t waste your time on girls who are bad for your business. That’s called “ bad investment “
I highly dislike paying on dates. I really enjoy the chivalry behind it. But I do love cooking for someone. Buy all the groceries and make great meals. Surprise them with lunch, make picnics, etc. I think it balances itself out mostly.
😂 this made me laugh, but seriously, it was actually helpful to me. Im not ready to date, however I will be in the future. I was raised old school meaning the man always pays. I have not had a good experince with that arrangement. I want to contribute financially. Your video was very helpful to me. 😊
A gift is a gift. Only give what you want to give, and then let it go. Don't be this keeping track of everything. Also know your goal. Are you looking to casually hookup? Do you want to get married? Are you mistakenly associating sex with respect?
Having more females on the east coast isn't necessarily a good thing. What comes with it includes more daily encounters with Karens, Negative Nancys, and Debby Downers. Old age hits women a lot harder than men, therefore you also see a lot more of the health care industry sprouting around. It's cool if you have money to burn, but otherwise no, no more Karens please.
I will give you a budget of exactly $0 to enjoy all of the single, beautiful young women in your desired location filled with magical rainbows 🌈 and sunshine 🌞, because sexism and gender biases doesn't aught to exist for you. *sarcasm*
Dating and splitting the bill is good. This will not encourage the other person to take advantage. The others will only come if you are very serious in the relationship. You have to know the person for quite awhile before going further.
Don't buy American all I can say...lol but follow your heart sir. Somethings are not about numbers and graphs. I've been paying for my wife since day one, while becoming an instant father. I still take care of all financial needs and she takes care of the family. I say that to say I'm not nearly as financially stable as you, but I wouldn't trade places in a millions years. Can't take money with you at your funeral
@@BeatTheBush happy? Shit I'm miserable some days 😂😂😂 but she's a excellent mother. Marriage is over rated, we went into it like a business. The kids are the future, you're a smart guy you'll find her but you have to really put it in the universe and pay the bills. A relationship has its ups and downs but whats the ultimate goal. Lol you really had my laughing when breaking down paying for dinner lol hilarious.
Between this video and the comments, I honestly can't tell what's satire and what's now. But cheers to everyone anyways, I hope you all find your financial mates in life!
Equating finances to sexual advancement is pretty cringe. This is a business-man's guide to being a John. I wouldn't want to date any of the women on that chart that move so quickly. Love and commitment is a better guide than number of dates and cost outlay. I like most of your content, but this may be the worst advice you've ever posted.
You mentioned that a person shouldn't rush but if they're the wrong girl for you why would you want to waste all that time? Doing it is like ripping off the bandaid. You will know right away if they're right for you or not. No need to wait for 5 days and waste all that time and money for silly beliefs. Sleeping around isn't bad. What's bad is disease and pregnancy. If she's not pregnant or has kids or has any diseases then I say who cares. Using people or being an a hole is worse than sleeping around. Also we can die at any moment so why take forever
Omg the bases chart. Let me just say, there there are a lot of people out there creating kids with people they barely know. Maybe some people are actually thinking ahead and being careful about who they want to sleep with. I see a lot of people who do the deed but don't wanna pay for a kid. I think people need to be honest from the start about what you want. If you're looking for something casual or don't want marriage let people know from the beginning.
@@Zachery_ also watch out because you're backloading a lot of issues... specifically if you're not compatible and/or have communication deficiencies you're going to have a really really bad time.
@@Starscreamious having been a part of a religious community I have witnessed the exact opposite. It’s all of the religious people who abstained before marriage who are madly in love 20 years later. In secular culture I see the opposite, people who are so-called sexually compatible yet get divorced. The reason is sexual compatibility is only depended on love, and true love. Abstaining sex before marriage allows people to fall in love for every reason other than the most illusionary one; sex.
i was waiting for you to do dating & finances related video. May i kindly suggest an idea to you? the detailed budgeting of going out on dates and how to save cost on dates.
The dates vs bases graph is peak r/cringetopia and gives some incel vibes. The amount a person pays for dates shouldn’t have a direct correlation with physical access. The first half of the video was okay, we get it you’re frugal. The graph onwards really misses the mark and is disrespectful.
there's data for pretty much many things. and if there's statistical data that supports something... you gonna say that's cringetopia? or a spade is a spade.
@1:16 "They just want to give everything they have" 😂😂😂😂BTW The thing about NY having more women than men is misleading. There are statistics of sex ratio based on age group. Most of the skew you see is in the older population and not in our age group. The thing about reaching out to her purse in order to offer to pay in the restaurants has been mentioned in waaaay back in Seinfeld (think it was George who mentions it). I'd think that even in a place like NY, women still manage to find men who can throw money at them. Honestly, if you are thinking of dating as a graph between bases and number of dates, then it feels like this "deal" is a bit sketchy. We are now talking about how much money I have to spend in order to get to a certain base which sounds exactly like a "sketchy deal".
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Well there was a time when humanity believed in love and commitment. You are in a way saying that those days are gone and I completely agree with you. All we are left with today is this facade of what people call as dating/relationship/marriage which has a striking similarity with those "sketchy deals" (if you catch my drift). Instead of signing up for such meaningless endeavors, you might as well make those sketchy deals.
If anyone is looking for a hard lesson, hit me up. I can give you the name to my ex who is pure 100% gold digger, and also offers nothing positive to life and relationships. Then you will suddenly realize I love money even more.
It's very helpful at the beginning. I think it is even more helpful for both woman and man if you can go on and elaborate more on the graphs. Yea people can laugh at it, but it's true. Numbers ain't lie ya know :D
this is the first time I've ever disagreed with you! As a woman, if I'm on a first date and the man expects me to split the bill. Well, It'd be a "one and done." We'd never go on a second date (I'd also decline). If you like the girl, You'd be better off planning less expensive dates for the first few weeks or months of getting to know each other. Perhaps you suggest meeting for breakfast (and then go on a walk somewhere). Breakfast is cheaper than dinner. Or find a FREE movie or concert in the park , and then pack a picnic. If she likes you, she'll offer to bring a bottle of wine or the beers or dessert to contribute.
You really need to get out of that Liberal echo chamber you're in, to fully understand the concept of being Single. It is a universally accepted principle, and the white Liberal has made a mockery of it!!!
0:29 "I am single" 0:37 "I have a girlfriend" Feminists won't like this video, but it's simple: don't be a simp. That chart was weird...nobody should need 4-5 dates to hit a "home run"...and definitely not 9. Just do it on the 1st date to see if you're compatible.
If you hit an home run during the first date, you should consider if she was compatible with others aswell, then recess if you want to invest in her, and you’r future with her. Now if you into wine and dash, flow with it.
FYI: Single meaning IRS filing status. You can have a girlfriend but you still file as 'single'. Hope that clears things up as I've gotten about 20 comments about this.
I only wanted to watch because I knew it would be entertaining, and it really did reach my expectations. 🤣
=D =D =D
More dating advice!
prenup
How much does Francis's advice hit close to home with you, Graham Stephan?
Don't get married and open a adult film company.
Hey Graham how's it going ;)
Lol🤣🤣🤣
I laughed so hard at this hahaha love analyzing dating down to finance and how much the date is putting out. Great content
I was going for a few laughs. XD XD
Dates vs. Bases Graph was too good, although in NYC, the slope is higher!
He casually calculated how much he’s willing to pay to get laid haha
I was a student & my husband was working full-time when we met. He paid for almost all our meals in first few years of dating but we were a frugal couple. A bowl of pho or value meals at McDs on the weekends wasn't going to break his bank. When it comes to shopping, I paid 100% for anything I like to buy. As I worked and earned more than him, I paid 80% of time from that point onwards. We eventually tied the knot & have been together for almost 28 years now.
Women like you are the rare exception these days and your husband values you that you are not just there for his money like in so many cases
😃 I can't believe your life is almost like my situation! Rare to see 😉
@@mallynk 😂
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 If you make it past year 10, it will last. If you were born up to 60s and 70s and had marriages up to the 80s, you are safe.
♥️
I never let my girlfriend pay for dates. But she cooks dinner for me multiple times more than I take her out, and contributes to my happiness in other ways. I also make multiple times more than her, so unless I just don’t want to go out, it doesn’t make sense for me to ask her to pay for dates all the time.
Ahhh so much to consider. Might end up being what each brings to the table be it financial or more intangible things.
@@BeatTheBush in so many many cases the men bring much more to the table and certain women just expect all they have to do is just be there and that makes things equal.
That is fair. Cooking is hell.
@Julian, the moment you start equating a dollar value to love, the actions of love and perception of love, you will lose your lover. Every relationship is different and unique and the energy one puts out is felt by the other whether the words are spoken or unspoken. BTB love advice may work for him... this is questionable in itself. You have a gf that loves you and cares for you. Do you know how much time, energy and money go into making a homemade meal? It's a scary world when you place a dollar value on another human's worth, no matter what perspective you approach it from. Take care.
@@72sunrise Yeah, well, reality hits and the fact of the matter is, you are defined by $. Push comes to shove, that job you have will be the only thing holding you between life and death, a parent, a guidance, etc.
Relationships come and go. The most a wife or gf can afford one is a companion, but she is still taking up $, she wants to be "paid" accordingly. Majority of parents never ask for their kids to give them money, they always fund and love is unconditional.
But again, anyone not blood, is just a stranger. Scary but true.
I want more graphs as funny but useful as a base-date chart lolol
More graphs! Got it! =D
With my fiancée, I paid for the first few dates. Once we became stable and more consistent, we started splitting. We split most things now except for some special occasions(ex valentines, anniversary) where I pay. In terms of bases I think that depends on the girl and guy dynamics and views on intimacy. We are more conservation (religion based).
Agreed
That sounds about right but I think it really varies.
You're really sharing with the ex valentines? He's a lucky guy!
I'd say trying to understand their financial stance and how they deal with money in general is the most important thing. Its not about who pays when. Its about how frugal or not frugal they are - with your money and theirs. Eventually, everything yours and theirs should ideally become 'ours'.
If you end up with the person then it doesn't matter. But if many cases, you do not so minimizing financial risk would be ideal.
Companies want good slaves who are married/have kids. After about 20 years working, I'll tell young people you should not have any loyalty to any organization, they will turn on you in a second when its convenient and fire/replace you. Also to ensure no slavery, young people dont get married and dont get a girl pregnant, make sure she takes the birth control pill daily in front of you and both wear protection. You will just condemn your new child to increasing poverty and freedomless slavery and these control/money/job trends worsen. Promote this idea in videos and social media to help prevent more young people into this new slavery.
@@rejectionistmanifesto8836 Most believe the current state was a proposition made by the government, corporations, etc. Corporations want you to work for them to sustain a marriage. The government needs the votes and so will put in laws to get some of the $ off marriages. The corporations then want high spenders to buy their stuff. Who is affected? The breadwinner.
That chart is hilarious, boiling down sex and resources spent. Francis absolutely must get a prenup in a community property state like California or he'll pay the ultimate price in divorce grape down the line.
I came up with the bases thing while in the shower and chuckled. I had to put that in. XD XD
Prenups are worthless. Get one, but put all your finances in a charitable trust before marriage. Wouldn’t hurt to have an offshore account also. Best advice though is just to not get married or cohabitate.
@@BeatTheBush in cohabitation states like yours, chances are girls know your wealth and will find a loophole to get your money. Just be legally protected
Ah yes, a graph of Bases vs Dates, now I can be successful with women.
AHHAHAHAHA.
this is what I've been missing all my life!
If you are trying to reach financial independence, it adds another layer to the dating experience and finding someone who is also interested in reaching that goal. From my experience, stay away from those types that expect you to pay all the time and like “nice things.” You will end up looking rich but being poor. In the past, I’ve taken turns paying with the person I was dating which emphasized my interest in a partnership relationship.
basically finding someone with similar goal as you.
kei214 it’s a little bit more trickier when you are talking about wanting to become financially independent. A lot of people say they want to be but aren’t willing to make the commitments necessary to do so.
You totally ignored the time value investment for being a woman! Making sure she has attractive hair and makeup takes hours, shopping for clothes shopping for shoes buying makeup... I could easily spend two hours getting ready for a date. So no matter how much more I might be making I have invested 2 hours in a guy that probably invested 15 minutes in a shower & he is wearing clothes that he probably wears to work. I remember when you had so many mgtow readers I always wondered if they understood this?! They certainly don't Factor it in.
All right, you get a plate worth cost of living for two hours in the state you reside in. We need to make sure the amount is adjusted after taxes are taken out and includes health insurance.
Also, MGTOW is not about harming you guys. It is about being fair, in a society, where something went really wrong. Equality is fine, but marital laws is the main focus. There is so much $ that changes hands that was never earned by the receiving party. This results in one gender not being on the same page with the other.
Thats why I Look for Girls who Are attractive without any makeup 😂
Though your chart doesn’t apply to my cultural values, I agree that it’s good to be on the same page with finances.
I knew hubby and I were on the same page early on partly because of how we navigated finances on dates.
Finances in a relationship are all about communication. If you’re not able to communicate about finances it’s a red flag.
I like this a lot! More videos like this please!
Others: what's your favorite movie?
Us: what's your favorite stock?
Red flag for me, I’m not risk tolerant so I would want someone that is more into index/ mutual funds, but still a great question as a test on a date, could be worded different in my case so it’s not a real test but more of a question like what do you invest in
women that invests in stocks are huge turn off. wouldn't want a lady that talks about stocks lol
I’d bring a pair of COVID tests, as a first date appetizer.😂
BTB you are UA-cam’s entertainer! I love this channel 😁
I think the graphs are good no?
@@BeatTheBush deffo! Such tact.
My boyfriend & I split everything evenly in the beginning, then I made more so I would pay for some more things. Then recently my income dropped and he started paying for everything, so then I started doing more housework & things. It’s great to be on the same page & pick up slack when the other needs it!
I've always paid for my half or the whole meal. I've just never been comfortable having a guy pay for me since I was raised to be independent.
I get what you mean about independence. My family taught me not to let a man ever get the idea that you “owe” him for his “investment”. Splitting the bill or finding other things to pay for to keep things on equal footing has always been a thing. With hubby and I paying the bill eventually became a game to see who could pay first. Two grown people battling to see who can treat the other. It got ridiculous. 🤣
Nothing wrong with that! Us guys are sort of wired to take care of the woman in a relationship. It's actually biologically natural for us to do this. A very tough cultural development for both sides, to be sure.
I think you failed to factor in the added cost of being female. I think a lot of modern females do this, you probably washed your hair blew it dry fixed it spent a couple hours taking a shower bought clothes that were attractive on you make sure they were clean, pressed etc. Took an hour on your makeup....
The guy probably spent 15 minutes in the shower and there he is!
There is a Time value as well for women dating I think the man paying makes perfect sense unless I can just throw up my dirty hair into a ponytail and show up at the McDonald's with flip flops on?
@@Zaerki The reason I think this changed was because abuse from both sides. Add in marital laws and these movements popping up and the outcome is a mess.
Arranged marriages had it to where the fefail's parents pay a lump sum to the groom and they get married.
That would be offensive in the Western world. But who is to state that that could not be what she gets back in divorce? ;) Changes everything right?
@@P.90.603 Hi. To answer your question, yes, here are examples of successful men who talk about being financially independent: Pete from MrMoneyMustache, Brandon from MadFientist, Jeremy from GoCurryCracker. Let me know if you need more examples.
This is the best Nerd to Nerd dating advice ever!! Don't you think?
imo if you feel like you have to give any thought as to whether to pay or not, maybe you need to figure out how to make more money before asking girls on dates. As a guy it should be such a completely non-thing to even consider, you just pay. Because all of human history and progress of mankind has revolved around men being the providers. Male biology is literally coded to be a provider and subconscious issues arise when a man is unable or unwilling to provide. It’s pretty easy to figure out if a girl will be a gold-digger and abuse this or if she’s a genuine girl who isn’t focused on that, focus on her personality, not the money. Most guys will lie to themselves and say a really hot girl is not a gold-digger and is genuine, so the tough part is being honest with yourself and look past those love blinders.
factual
Not when society was readjusted. If you do not know what I mean, look at all movements in history. They were provided for because they had no rights. Nothing more than a mere child. It's not a man's decision, self accountability has to be taken by both parties.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 all of society didn’t readjust. There’s massive cultures that still function the same way. Only some partial sects of western secular culture have adjusted. Actually, I think those who have adjusted are in the minority. There are entire countries, religions, cultures that never adjusted, or did adjust but to a very very small degree.
"How do I tell you that I've slept with at least 5 women without telling you that I've slept with 5 women (as a millionaire)"?
😂
I was grinning the whole way through but I completely lost it at the graph. Great video.
Glad you enjoyed it!
This is interesting, and I completely agree. You are very candid, thanks for keeping it real and being so forward. Liked your finances talks too (even better actually), keep up the good work!
Call me old fashioned, but a home run should only happen on the marriage night. This makes all those hoping for a preview sample to break up usually by the 2nd or 3rd date. This is best achieved when the couple do not move in with each other until after the honeymoon. I loved shocking my friends when I told them my husband and I weren’t living together until after the honeymoon. We waited!! It also makes for a healthier and happier marriage. Oh, and the wedding actually means something too!
I’ve been happily married for 14 years now. 😊
Honestly, this was why arranged marriages were so powerful.
That probably makes sense for a lot of people in their younger days, such as early 20s.
BTB and I are early 40's...this ain't our first rodeo, might as well get a ride in when everyone gets comfy 😊
No dinners on first or even second / third dates! Cheap drinks and eats only.
Dinner is for people in relationships.
Great video beat the bush, hope you are beating the bush often
This video deserves more likes!!
What’s your views on how to manage finances after marriage? Would you combine bank accounts? Would u make ur fiancé sign a prenup?
Oh... that's such a big question I have yet to sort out in real life.
@@jdthompson5778 I disagree, my wife and I have our own separate accounts and also a household account, we pool our expenses into the household account by ratio of how much we make. Then 60% of what each of us has left is put into our joint investing account and the remaining 40% we do whatever we want to do with it. There's no arguments on how money is spent and we have our bases covered.
@@Aiyahhh You wrote bases XD
But I think separate accounts shows more maturity. If someone is that dependent to need someone else's money to be secure, they are not fully into the getting along with the actual relationship. We have to understand that the people we are with are strangers, it's true. But separate does not mean you will not splurge on another person every once in a while or gift them.
FYI: Your $ is still going to her in a divorce. lol The judge is not going to care. The judge is going to want good publicity and if word gets out he/she just screwed her over or ruled against her..he/she will be out of a job.
I learned a lot about baseball in this video
at 0:28 you say "I am single" then "I currently have a girlfriend" LOL which is it?
Single = unmarried
Legally single
You really need to get out of that Liberal echo chamber you're in, to fully understand the concept of being Single. It is a universally accepted principle, and the white Liberal has made a mockery of it!!!
@@satyannair4837 Like Conservative is ALWAYS BUSINESS. "It is what is checked on the tax form." Pfftt.
when the "Dates vs Bases" chart popped up, i smacked the LIKE button!
Do this study. On the first date show the girls your spreadsheet then monitor to see if that helps you get to base 4 faster, slower or not at all.
"Home run" 🤣 I love this data driven view of dating! Makes this a lot clearer.
Not everyone is sexually active (some are abstinent or celibate). However I get the point you made. Bases presentation was a nice touch.
After 9 dates, you should be like "All your base are belong to us"
Man jose gets me all the time 😂
I have dated many girls. Let me tell you, on a first date you go for coffee. Maybe a mid priced restaurant for a second date. If she doesn’t offer to pay a portion, this is a good indication that she might not be a keeper. Life is expensive for everyone. Women want equality but not in every fields.
Women want superiority not equality. They went way past wanting just equality about 15 to 20 years ago.
This is heavily a cultural issue. Many girls from many cultures were constantly told by their parents that the right guy will pay for them without question. So you’re basically biasing yourself against girls who are simply doing how their culture/parents dictated and tossing them aside for the most trivial reason. You shouldn’t be thinking about money, at all, while you’re getting to know a girl. Focus hard on her personality only and forget everything else… money is a topic that comes much later in a relationship.
@@dotdashdotdash And government needs votes to make things happen. 15-20 years ago Regan signed a bill that gives no reason for a divorce to happen. 40 years ago, marital laws were put into place. No one though "Let's take out mass transfer of $ because everyone is in the workforce now."
@@sk8yard It is mostly from the moms. The fathers do not do it any justice by being absent and/or in jail.
I feel like who ever offers the date should pay. I went on a date with a girl a while back who asked me out and when the check came I just assumed I’d pay but she would not let me because it was her who asked me out. I tried to convince her to let me pay but I could see it was a losing battle lol. I appreciated that
I think it should be whoever accepts. If they really wanted to be there, they would pay for it. You already did your part by asking her out. Yeah, I know, it goes against everything ever taught, but....
I always let the man pay. But I rarely ever dated. My exes were always someone I already knew. But if a guy asks me out, he better bring his wallet lol. Gonna be honest, if there's true feelings, money shouldn't even be a thing to even think about. If you have to think about it this much, you should probably keep looking. I've always shopped for exes, clothes, food, whatever. Didn't care.
Wow. Dating sounds so complicated lol.
You are HIGH maintenance. O_O
Thats fine as long as we get to fourth base by date #2
@@freeagent.87 if I like them there's no waiting or dating lol!
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 lol!
Back in the days, it's a gauge to weigh in a man's ability to provide during the times I may be pregnant and raising our kids. If he's generous, he's in the pool for potential partner, if not, no matter how great is his personality', I'll pass. I never offer to pay on first date. I think I have chosen well. I don't buy equality like that. Equality goes deeper than that. We all have our own purpose in life. .
I think depending on your actions, you screen out certain people but that doesn't mean you wont find a match still.
I agree 100% with you. Never paid on dates with my now husband until we got seriously committed and I wouldn't pay for dates anyways I would just buy groceries and cook
I thought this was gonna be about saving up for a RealDoll.
That chart had me weak 😂
I just got out of a relationship so I kind of forget how things fell on that chart
At this point I would watch virtually any video from BTB 👌 Not really agree on the graph ratio but everyone is entitled to their own opinion
For a few laughs? XD XD.
i would say that the max limit imo is like price for high end escort in your town if we are to really be cheap with dating economics. I refuse to spend more in total dates than what it would cost for an escort. and on the other hand, if looking for relationship, i would price things in terms of mail order brides. when underwriting the emotional attraction, how much is too much? I personally would budget a 3x overall cost to find a local wife, and if not succeeding in that than i gotta find a foreign one and live with that which is doable.
😂
As you can see there is a linear relationship between dates and bases. Refer to diagram 2.2 for further reference 🧐
The more dates you get... a hem....
I'm going to keep a copy of the bases vs dates graph in my wallet right next to my credit card grid sheet
Second/third base on first date commentary is hysterical.
XD XD
9:57 I like how analytical you get into these videos
=D
But I hope he's not too analytical to be aware of a broad's emotions!
I like this video because the base part is so absurd. LOL I do want to hear more about your dating strategy though. 😆
Vote #1 for dating strategy.
“I am single” two seconds later “I have a girlfriend” 🥴
He has a friend who at the same time is a girl? 😂
Boy bye
Great content love it!
Beat the bush is now beat the cheeks
If she’s not giving you 97% of her check she’s not worth your time. Know 👏🏾 your 👏🏾worth 👏🏾kings 👏🏾
Always date someone who has something to offer, business type, or at least someone who is an entrepreneur. Don’t waste your time on girls who are bad for your business. That’s called “ bad investment “
Watch out for those pretty faces eh? Ha ha.
I highly dislike paying on dates. I really enjoy the chivalry behind it. But I do love cooking for someone. Buy all the groceries and make great meals. Surprise them with lunch, make picnics, etc. I think it balances itself out mostly.
If only this happened lol
Only an engineer would be able to quantify this into comprehensible graphs :)
😂 this made me laugh, but seriously, it was actually helpful to me. Im not ready to date, however I will be in the future. I was raised old school meaning the man always pays. I have not had a good experince with that arrangement. I want to contribute financially. Your video was very helpful to me. 😊
lol I feel like you have approached this from so many different angles. I feel like you could write a Seinfeld episode off of this analysis.
=D Thank you.
A gift is a gift. Only give what you want to give, and then let it go. Don't be this keeping track of everything. Also know your goal. Are you looking to casually hookup? Do you want to get married? Are you mistakenly associating sex with respect?
If all they do is take and not give. Than it is time to go you separate ways.
Instead of splitting, you can each offer to pay for dinner, like alternate, every other date.
That's how I like it
You know that is not going to happen. She will leave! Too many other offers.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 my girl didn't leave me because of it
@@NicksDynasty It depends on the environment. How many other offers does she have? What time period are we writing about? etc.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 we dated for two years
All vacations were split in half and she would pay for meals often. Less than half though
Some "random" subscriber told me once that referring to women as female was wrong for some reason.
New to your channel... your graph is pretty funny. It shows the engineer side of you with the analytics! LOL
Hilarious about the chart... Well, splitting the bills is ok but no need to calculate everything... Love is supposed to be natural...
Having more females on the east coast isn't necessarily a good thing. What comes with it includes more daily encounters with Karens, Negative Nancys, and Debby Downers. Old age hits women a lot harder than men, therefore you also see a lot more of the health care industry sprouting around. It's cool if you have money to burn, but otherwise no, no more Karens please.
I will give you a budget of exactly $0 to enjoy all of the single, beautiful young women in your desired location filled with magical rainbows 🌈 and sunshine 🌞, because sexism and gender biases doesn't aught to exist for you. *sarcasm*
Dating and splitting the bill is good. This will not encourage the other person to take advantage. The others will only come if you are very serious in the relationship. You have to know the person for quite awhile before going further.
Love this man keep up the good work
This made me feel even less optimistic about being single and living in the Man Jose area. 😔
the joke is if you want to find a gf or wife... don't live in california. or at least socal. but i guess nor cal is going down the sh*tter too huh?
Don't buy American all I can say...lol but follow your heart sir. Somethings are not about numbers and graphs. I've been paying for my wife since day one, while becoming an instant father. I still take care of all financial needs and she takes care of the family. I say that to say I'm not nearly as financially stable as you, but I wouldn't trade places in a millions years. Can't take money with you at your funeral
That's the only thing you can say if you are in a happy marriage. Congrats! Imagine saying, you would trade places.
@@BeatTheBush happy? Shit I'm miserable some days 😂😂😂 but she's a excellent mother. Marriage is over rated, we went into it like a business. The kids are the future, you're a smart guy you'll find her but you have to really put it in the universe and pay the bills. A relationship has its ups and downs but whats the ultimate goal. Lol you really had my laughing when breaking down paying for dinner lol hilarious.
As someone once said: "Aw but sooner or later it comes down to faith, Oh I might as well be the one..."
Excellent stuff BtB. Graph is spot on except I say By fourth date it's home run time
I suppose it varies a bit depending on situation but it’s around there.
Between this video and the comments, I honestly can't tell what's satire and what's now. But cheers to everyone anyways, I hope you all find your financial mates in life!
i literally LOLed at the thought of causing a scene at a restaurant over splitting a bill
I think ummm that never happens... maybe a small scuffle.
*scene from Legally Blonde where the guy states he is going to marry a Vanderbilt*
Beat the bush wants to beat the bush !
I knew this video was going to be gold 😩🤣
Equating finances to sexual advancement is pretty cringe. This is a business-man's guide to being a John. I wouldn't want to date any of the women on that chart that move so quickly. Love and commitment is a better guide than number of dates and cost outlay. I like most of your content, but this may be the worst advice you've ever posted.
Not advice... comedy.
@@BeatTheBush Well that explains it then! :D
Fourth base is beating the other bush.
I thought homerun was marriage and that there were three bases? O_o.
I want to set a $100 a month for dating.
I have a 3 date rule
You mentioned that a person shouldn't rush but if they're the wrong girl for you why would you want to waste all that time? Doing it is like ripping off the bandaid. You will know right away if they're right for you or not. No need to wait for 5 days and waste all that time and money for silly beliefs. Sleeping around isn't bad. What's bad is disease and pregnancy. If she's not pregnant or has kids or has any diseases then I say who cares. Using people or being an a hole is worse than sleeping around. Also we can die at any moment so why take forever
Omg the bases chart. Let me just say, there there are a lot of people out there creating kids with people they barely know. Maybe some people are actually thinking ahead and being careful about who they want to sleep with. I see a lot of people who do the deed but don't wanna pay for a kid. I think people need to be honest from the start about what you want. If you're looking for something casual or don't want marriage let people know from the beginning.
And that wrecks any guy from getting any.
What if she’s the religious type and waits for marriage?
In my personal experience most only say that then do something else...but also feel guilty about it.
Huge headache.
Don’t date them unless you have similar beliefs
@@Zachery_ also watch out because you're backloading a lot of issues... specifically if you're not compatible and/or have communication deficiencies you're going to have a really really bad time.
@@Starscreamious having been a part of a religious community I have witnessed the exact opposite. It’s all of the religious people who abstained before marriage who are madly in love 20 years later. In secular culture I see the opposite, people who are so-called sexually compatible yet get divorced. The reason is sexual compatibility is only depended on love, and true love. Abstaining sex before marriage allows people to fall in love for every reason other than the most illusionary one; sex.
@Tao if you have to ask, she’s not for you.
Beat the bush, what if I'm saving myself for marriage???
i was waiting for you to do dating & finances related video. May i kindly suggest an idea to you? the detailed budgeting of going out on dates and how to save cost on dates.
how do you know who makes more money?
First date should be coffee. That way if you don’t like her you’re not stuck eating with her.
I agree with this. Some women won’t even accept a coffee date bc they literally expect dinner lol
@@anddudewaslike Coffee means lower expectations. Just a conversation, if that goes well, reassess.
It's like... coffee!?!? That's only $5 value! Blah!
Prostrats!
The dates vs bases graph is peak r/cringetopia and gives some incel vibes. The amount a person pays for dates shouldn’t have a direct correlation with physical access. The first half of the video was okay, we get it you’re frugal. The graph onwards really misses the mark and is disrespectful.
there's data for pretty much many things. and if there's statistical data that supports something... you gonna say that's cringetopia? or a spade is a spade.
Yeah I usually have a sense of humour but given that there are people who actually think this way, this wasn't funny.
Beware of the joint account!
@1:16 "They just want to give everything they have" 😂😂😂😂BTW The thing about NY having more women than men is misleading. There are statistics of sex ratio based on age group. Most of the skew you see is in the older population and not in our age group. The thing about reaching out to her purse in order to offer to pay in the restaurants has been mentioned in waaaay back in Seinfeld (think it was George who mentions it). I'd think that even in a place like NY, women still manage to find men who can throw money at them. Honestly, if you are thinking of dating as a graph between bases and number of dates, then it feels like this "deal" is a bit sketchy. We are now talking about how much money I have to spend in order to get to a certain base which sounds exactly like a "sketchy deal".
Fefails can get ANYONE they want and they always have offers. Why would they ever pay? Think about it.
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 Well there was a time when humanity believed in love and commitment. You are in a way saying that those days are gone and I completely agree with you. All we are left with today is this facade of what people call as dating/relationship/marriage which has a striking similarity with those "sketchy deals" (if you catch my drift). Instead of signing up for such meaningless endeavors, you might as well make those sketchy deals.
If anyone is looking for a hard lesson, hit me up. I can give you the name to my ex who is pure 100% gold digger, and also offers nothing positive to life and relationships. Then you will suddenly realize I love money even more.
It's very helpful at the beginning. I think it is even more helpful for both woman and man if you can go on and elaborate more on the graphs. Yea people can laugh at it, but it's true. Numbers ain't lie ya know :D
Wow you read my mind!! Haha. The video I been waiting for!
First base usually turns into a HR.. so I’d say if you don’t get that by date two there might be a problem.
Great video 😊
this is the first time I've ever disagreed with you! As a woman, if I'm on a first date and the man expects me to split the bill. Well, It'd be a "one and done." We'd never go on a second date (I'd also decline). If you like the girl, You'd be better off planning less expensive dates for the first few weeks or months of getting to know each other. Perhaps you suggest meeting for breakfast (and then go on a walk somewhere). Breakfast is cheaper than dinner. Or find a FREE movie or concert in the park , and then pack a picnic. If she likes you, she'll offer to bring a bottle of wine or the beers or dessert to contribute.
That chart looks silly at first but the more I look at it, it does make a lot sense. Definingly a good thing to bring rationale into any relationship.
even the dating coaches are sayig you should be f'ing by the 10th date.
Would like to hear your strategy on the dating apps. Do you have a plot showing number of messages until you should get their number?
@@P.90.603 May be so, but sadly it's arguably the best option for people working from home in the Covid world
You don’t have a Gf anymore after you just said you’re single
You really need to get out of that Liberal echo chamber you're in, to fully understand the concept of being Single. It is a universally accepted principle, and the white Liberal has made a mockery of it!!!
Go watch your trump videos, it was obviously a joke
0:29 "I am single"
0:37 "I have a girlfriend"
Feminists won't like this video, but it's simple: don't be a simp. That chart was weird...nobody should need 4-5 dates to hit a "home run"...and definitely not 9. Just do it on the 1st date to see if you're compatible.
If you hit an home run during the first date, you should consider if she was compatible with others aswell, then recess if you want to invest in her, and you’r future with her.
Now if you into wine and dash, flow with it.