I just clicked on the video to watch, but I just wanted to share my own story before one of my gremlins interrupts. 😂 I was a much later in life mom. I started at 35 and am expecting our third son at age 40 in a couple of months. I was very goal and career driven, and being a mom was never something I dreamed of. It wasn’t that I was against it, I just never had the dream. What I found is that my willingness to consider babies was very dependent on whether I was with a partner that I felt could give their attention to both me and children. Once I was ready for that sort of person and I found him, I was ready to have kids. I had a hard childhood also and my gramma was also my person. It’s terrifying to think that I’ll ever make my kids feel like I felt growing up. Every single thing I do or say to my kids runs through that filter. Sometimes the trauma comes out, but I work night and day to keep our home a safe place for our boys. My dad always told me there are two types of people, those who repeat the family mistakes and those who learn from them and change things. It’s funny how being a parent gives you more grace and awareness for how your parents did the best they could with what they had to work with. I’ve experienced an immense amount of grief since my kids were born and they have absolutely pulled me through each and every hard day. Thanks for sharing your story, I am looking forward to finishing listening.
Yes, I had my career, had my first at 31 and went back to work when she was 3mths, after working to 2 weeks before my due date...the had my second 1½yrs later, again worked right up to my due date and had 6mths off with new baby and toddler... I enjoyed working but now my kids are grown, and have babies, and I've just retired, I wish I'd been able to have more time off with them... but interest rates were 17.5% on mortgages then, and we couldn't afford the house on my husbands wage alone.
I made a pros and cons list for having kids vs not and I had an overwhelming amount of reasons for not having kids 😅 but I looove watching people be so fulfilled in their roles as parents and I don’t mind being part of someone else’s support village
Hi Patty, I got the mother feeling first some years ago in my beginning 30s, never before. It took me a lot of tears, frustration and had to gather all my strength everytime I heard a friend who got pregnant seemingly effortlessly. Finally, after 5 years trying and an in vitro process, I am blessed with a pregnancy and an upcoming baby girl next march. I am sooooo happy and say thanks every day ❤❤❤❤❤
Oh Patty, I'm 55 and just love your channel. I just want to tell you how much growth I've seen in you since becoming a mom. Your personality has exploded on camera and sense of humor is hysterical. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you know how proud your grandmother would be of you!
My twins are adults now, it went super fast enjoy every moment. Great points for new moms! You're blessed to have your in laws helping you. You guys sound like a strong couple. I was in Cuba not long ago, loved the people and food! Pretty icy aqua eye look!
My baby cried a lot, all the time, and only mostly at night! But, it is the best thing that ever happened to us. Our "baby" is now 22. I wish I had done things differently sometimes, but we did the best we could with what we had, and he is a great guy now.
I also didn’t think I wanted kids, but then my niece was born. The incredible love I feel for my niece and the desire to be around her and care for her made me realize that not only did I want to be a mom, I would probably be good at it. I FELT it when you said you love everything about your baby, even feeding and changing diapers, and I’m the same. Also I have to mention that I too have a daughter and she also just turned 4 months, so our time frame and journey are similar in that regard. Thank you for sharing your story. I agree it will be helpful for others who think similarly to hear this perspective.
Patty, I am so glad you now have a healing life filled with healing, supportive people. I too used to not want children. I came from an incredibly small family, I had a difficult childhood and had little exposure to babies and small children. But when I met my future husband he was telling my about how his father was transformed when he was around children. It had never occurred to me, and I had never really witnessed someone who LOVED children. Anyway, two children later, I absolutely LOVE my boys. I was a stay at home mother, mostly because I just couldn't see that anyone would do for them what I would do for them. They are now in their 20's, and I still love them. One has moved across the country and I miss him all the time. But if you love your 4 month old, wait until she becomes a little person who can talk to you. That is the absolute best. I have so many wonderful memories of the things my children told me. From my oldest coming home from preschool and telling me about naked people who have a feast every year. That was his interpretation of native americans, he had actually been calling them nadik americans, but I heard naked. Them my other son was forever telling me, 'No mom, you're wrong' which always made me laugh. Anyway, thank you for sharing. I would also love to hear more about your journey to America, and how you did it. I lived in Miami in 1980 - 81 when the Marielle Boat lift was at it's peak, and went to school with many Cuban immigrants. I'm always impressed by the courage of people who take on a major challenge like immigration. Now I love children so much I work as a substitute teacher in elementary schools. I just wish that more people saw parenthood as something to undertake deliberately, so that all children are wanted.
Thank you for sharing! I think the Mariel exodus prompted the US to allow all family members of people who were claimed to the US to also get a visa and legally come over. That’s how my dad came to the USA in 1995. I was 3 and he had to leave me behind. I came when I was 15 because he claimed me.
When I had my babies there was no internet help available and my mom lived far away. One of my treasured resources was a paperback book called “The Suddenly Ill Child.” It was tough to get through it all, but the bottom line is that each mom has to figure her way through the challenges of taking good care of her tiny ones. I loved your story of evolving sense of self.
Patty, My husband didn’t want kids either, we were married for 8 years & got surprised with a pregnancy. He wasn’t so sure, but I was excited & never looked back, I had a rough childhood, so I hadn’t been sure either whether I wanted to be a Mom. It totally changed my life…so much love, so many wonderful memories. My two children are grown now, I lost my wonderful husband to cancer right before my daughter had our first grand daughter. He would have been such a great grandpa! But I now have 3 grand daughters & my son has my only grandson. I am very blessed 💗💗💗
I think your Abuelita was in your heart encouraging you and it's fitting you named your baby girl after her. I started thinking about another baby like right after I had both of mine too. lol It's totally natural to want a sibling for your child. You have lots of time to decide that and make it happen and in the meantime you get to enjoy Evelyn's bright light and presence in your life. What a blessing! A beautiful happy family. Thank you for sharing, Patty. xo
I had to stop and start typing this note (and I'm starting to cry again) so I will just say I can relate to everything you said, from the family dynamic to being super close to your grandmother (mine was GOD sent). Pour ALL that love into sweet Evelyn and know that your grandmother is still there watching and guiding you.
It warmed my heart to hear you talking of your baby. I had some tears. I loved being a mother. I tell my kids they are the very best thing of my life. Even though we did it on our own, I loved everything about being a mother. When I had my babies, there was no support with family. My husband and I had just moved to a new state for his job. I was going to college for my degree in criminal law. I would go to the library and check out books every Saturday on raising children. I believe that there is no greater calling or blessing in this world. We raise the future generation, who will hopefully learn love, compassion, and charity through our example as a mother. Take the time to be present with your child as everything else will pass. ❤
I completely understand. I started life-late in life, if that makes sense. I didn’t think I could have children but that wasn’t the case. I was 35 and 37 when I had children and it was “my” best decision. I also dislike other peoples babies. Haha I’m happy you found your path! ❤
This video topic is really important. Alot of women feel guilt and shame when it comes to not wanting to be a mom. I know I did. I never wanted to be a mom. I never saw myself having kids. Didn't have the maternal instinct. Then four years ago I had my daughter. I don't ever regret it, but there are defiantly days when I doubt myself and wonder if I should of done this or not. Sometimes being a mom really over whelms me. I have a lot of mental health issues on top of it to make matters worst. I love her though and she loves me. Thank you for talking about this Patty. You have such a beautiful family! Still I totally understand where you are coming from. ❤
Parenting is one of the most difficult, thankless and most criticised job in the world. I had 2 kids, 2 miscarriages, raised my stepson, and they are all such different people as adults.
What you mentioned that your grandma passing got you thinking about other relatives passing, I can relate so much. Two of my dearest family member passed a few years apart and I was having this intrusive thoughts about being sitting at a table celebrating a holiday and all of my family slowly disappearing until I was the only one left sitting at the table. Great part of that made me change my mind about having kids. Right now I have a one year old and hoping for baby number two soon.
Hi Patty, Firstly I’m a huge fan of your content! Secondly, wow I couldn’t relate to a video more if I tried. Your attitude towards having your own children prior to Evelyn (who is gorgeous by the way) is exactly how I feel about children. Your upbringing with your parents and the closeness you shared with your grandmother, I lost my Nan nearly 8 years ago and she was my rock. I was very much neglected by my parents and it was my grandmother (Nana) who was there for me. I couldn’t help but get emotional with you, the feeling of loss and void. I guess I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience, you’re not alone. Much love xxxx
Oh Patty, I feel so many of the things you felt and have said. My parents divorced when I was only 3 and because of my health problems I had a lot of surgeries growing up so my Grandparents stepped in to take care of me so my Mother could work. I was the baby on both sides of my family so I was a bit spoiled but also I wasn’t allowed around a lot of other kids especially babies so I didn’t really know how to act around them. Fast forward to meeting my Husband and getting married. He didn’t care if we had kids either but then after we were together then married for 4 yrs I changed my mind. Our daughter will be turning 25 in October and just 3 weeks ago had our second Grandchild. (A 3 yr old boy and 3 week old girl). I’m so glad I did have at least one and while I was in my 20’s because my health has gotten really bad again but I can at least enjoy my family. Please soak up every moment can can and enjoy her while she is young. Best wishes from my family to yours. To Add: I have also said I don’t like babies or just other people’s kids in general, mine I love and even my niece, nephew, and great-nieces, but others kids can be quite annoying (sorry to say)
I had the same experience with my grandmother...she was like my mom and my world and she passed away in 2014 around Thanksgiving...the worst day of my life and the worst thing that has ever happened to me...but I am stronger now because of her she was the strongest person I have ever known 💯❤
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I just lost my dad in April and I will never be the same. Like you I was never a baby person, but always wanted to be a mom. I have 2 sons and they are the absolute best part of me and my life. Congrats to you and enjoy the ride! Don’t sweat the small stuff she’s going to be fine with you as her loving mom !
I LOVE being a mother. I have 4 kids and I had two in my 20s and the last one when I was 40. I got to experience motherhood at different stages of my life and I feel so blessed. My house is always full of laughter and bickering and I would not change it for anything! I loved your story and how motherhood has affected you. I believe that motherhood is very instinctive, when you get to know your child, you just know what to do! Enjoy your little one as much as you can, they grow up too fast!
Your Grandma would be very proud of you. I’m 60 and raising my second family but I always knew I wanted to be a mom. It’s been challenging and rewarding. It’s definitely not easy. I had a newborn at 56 and a 20 month old.
The thought, "Where's my baby??" does not go away as your child grows. You always want to know if they are safe and happy. Letting go in stages (someone trusted is watching them, when they get their license, first job, moving out, etc.) is difficult, but of course, necessary. Congratulations again on your precious bundle of joy and for being a new Mom! You are going to have many MANY happy memories with your daughter as she gets older. Children are a blessing. 💗 And don't be afraid of a 2nd child...they will have each other. Two of my daughters are 3 years apart and they are the best of friends. I could go on (I have quite a few children). 😊
I definitely can relate when you say you don’t like other peoples babies but it’s so much different when it’s your baby. I’m so happy you have found joy in your life again. Babies are so much fun and it is so rewarding being a mom.
First we're shade twins and now life twins. I was given up for adoption and lived in foster homes until i was 8. Finally adopted by a family who had a hard time loving me. I never wanted kids. Until i got pregnant at 31 and her dad helped me through it. I didn't find out i was pregnant until i was 4 Months along so i had no choice but to have the baby. Best blessing i never knew i needed. She's helped me to learn how to be a mom and we have grown together. She's given me areason to become the best version of myself as a mom. It also feels a little resenful that my mom couldn't love me as easy as i love my daughter. She's the best gift i never wanted but definitely needed and i love her beyond anything. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I feel even closer to you. Christmas is gonna be glorious!!!
I didn’t want to be a mother so much so that my priest asked my husband if he was okay with that decision before he would marry us. Biology is strong…once my friends started having them my body and mind were like WE WANT THIS! Lol. Three kids later….
@@gmoney1795 Ha ha, I had a similar experience. Didn’t think I wanted kids, got married, all my friends started having babies and suddenly having a baby of my own felt absolutely necessary. 😂 Still went to therapy first though to make sure it wasn’t just my biology driving me into a crazy life decision. Three kids later best decision we ever made…
You just did it the right way..found the right man, married, worked out how good he was, trustworthy and had a future, so could bring kids into the relationship...so many girls just want a baby, get pregnant without thinking if the man they choose is a good person or will be a good father.
Being a mom is a personal experience that no one can speak for you. Beautiful to see you have a baby to love. I said the same about kids and not wanting because of my childhood and other people’s kids didn’t work for me… Now I know that it was a self punishment… continued pain stemmed into my life. Kids are different when they’re yours. It all depends.. You deserve this love! 😘
I am so glad you shared this story… I am raised by my grandmother and I am a child of divorced parents with who I don’t have the best relationship. I’ve always been scared of being a mom, but just like you with the days passing by I come to realise that death is certain but I would like to create a life. Your story is just so similar to mine, even my grandmother dying, the pain and the void… I fully understand and I am sorry. Sending all my love your ways and your daughter and thanks for sharing and encouraging not to be scared of motherhood❤
It's so hard to explain the pure joy you feel holding and loving your baby. It makes it all worth it, and I think if we could get a sneak peek of that, it would make the decision less scary! ❤
What you experienced was very common. I always wanted to be a mom. I even made my babies their baby food myself rather than buy from the store. ( I highly recommend it. It's cheaper if you are on budget) I'm so happy for you.
Yes! You want 1 more! I am 62 yrs old and had 2 boys. I remember thinking I could never love another like the 1st, yet there's room in your heart for both. IDK what I would do without them now! They are very different and I am beyond blessed to have healthy happy sons that are now giving my grandchildren. Oh yes, have another one for sure!
I can relate to your story, I, too was raised by my Mamaw and no one ever compared to her. I lost her in 2020 and my life changed forever the pain of loosing someone you love so much is not only mentally painful, it hurts so bad it’s physical. I totally understand as I am a mother now as well and loving your child is like no other greater love! I enjoy your channel and wish you all the success and happiness, thank you for sharing with us!
I didn't really think about it when I got pregnant (I have two boys) never gave it a thought then they were born! The BEST blessing from God I could have gotten. My babies taught me what unconditional love is, I told my husband "you are the back of line now they come first" haha and vice versa. WE always put them first they are incredible young, repsectful and loving men. We are blessed by GOD that he gave us this gift of our children there is no greater treasure in your life you can receive, so many don't get this and I pray for them. God bless you!
So happy for you. My twins are about to turn 16 and I have to tell you the best is yet to come. The love just grows and grows and grows and it’s wonderful seeing your babies turn into young people.
Everyone makes the best decision for themselves but I always wonder how many people regret it as they get older and the family system is even more important. You do everything for your children and most of the time if you raise them right they will help you too as you get older. When you start needing help as you grow elderly it can be everything to have a support system.
Dear Patty, what a beautiful precious gift. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have one daughter too and she's the sunshine of my life, but motherhood is a massive journey and the challenges can be overwhelming. I fully respect the decision not have children either. I was never the maternal type and never loved babies either. But i feel blessed for having her
Omg, Patty! I was crying along with you! Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable lovely story. Motherhood is such a personal journey (as well as being parented by a grandparent). Many don’t discuss the turn around one can have when it comes to thinking about parenting. I too told myself I didn’t want to be a mom when I was younger, only to desperately change my mind when it was nearly too late. And now as an older mom to a 2.5 yo, it’s still the best decision of my life. That said for those reading this, adoption is nearly always an option if your heart pulls you to parent even late in life. I just love your openness and advice and your makeup looks bomb too! I’m so very happy for you and I’m grateful young girls have ppl like you to listen to. ❤💕🫶🏽
I was totally like you as a kid and still, as an adult, I don't like infants. I feel like I will break them. I love kids once they can hold they're heads up without my assistance!! I never had kids and people always made me feel bad. I'm now 53 and I have an amazing 24 year old step son and amazing nieces and nephews, all of whom I love very much and think of as my kiddos. Family is family no matter how you're related. I'm so glad you had your grandma!! Grandmas are awesome!!!
When you say “I don’t like other people’s baby’s but I like my own” I laughed out loud because it’s such a true statement for me!!! I much prefer my own kids then other people’s LOL 😂😂😂 Patty, I ADORE YOU!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Hi darl, myself and my husband never had children. Well, should I say I never did, my hubby always wanted to have them, but me definitely not because I was very ambitious and career minded, I told my hubby way before we got married and he always accepted that. We have had a full life full of love, many friends, exciting holidays, beautiful homes. Did we miss children? The answer is a definite no but that's just our personal decision. Thank you, gorgeous, and you look lovely without makeup. ❤
@auntiedramey3855 40yrs together with 34yrs married and incredibly happy, and you look a stunner if you have been married 48yrs. I need to know your beauty secret.
I completely agree with you, the joy my children bring me and the love I have for them is unmatched. I’m the oldest of eight kids and yes, I was that person that always loved the kids, but I never wanted more than one child because I wanted to make sure I could give that child everything I didn’t have and more. My son is 22 and my daughter is 11. I always tell my son he saved my life. I was going down a dark path and it was like the moment I knew I was pregnant. It woke me up. He is such an amazing young man and my baby girl, that just fueled me to continue to be great for them. I was exactly the same. I didn’t wanna put My Baby down or let anybody hold them. I’m still super protective if they could walk around with me all day I would love that.
Thank you for sharing your personal journey to motherhood! I know it will be helpful to someone! I was like you, didn’t like babies, didn’t want one. Now I’m 63 and never had kids. But I am happily married, and a teacher of four and five year olds. Since they’re so little, I feel a bit like their mom. Their “school mom,” any way. ❤
Patty, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you sharing even more about your childhood and not wanting to become a parent because you didn’t have parents that made you feel like their number one priority! My parents have raised and have had custody of my niece Jewels. She was born with two really crappy parents that wanted nothing to do with her. She feels like you did. How can she be a parent when she’s never experienced being a priority with my sister and her dad. My mom and dad have always made Jewels their number one priority and she’s an amazing beautiful intelligent 17 year old! But she struggles with not understanding why her mom and dad don’t come around don’t call ect……I’m going to share this video with her. She needs to see this and know that other teenagers/adults feel the same way when they are not raised by their biological parents. I didn’t expect to cry watching this video. I know how much you miss your grandma Patty, I’m happy you decided to have a baby. Evelyn is so adorable, she always looks so happy and ps she has the cutest clothes and headbands! When you’re holding her in your videos you can tell how happy and proud you are! What a great and inspiring video! I know you’ve been through a lot in your life. I think baby number 2 would be amazing but only if you want to love ya girlie! ❤ Your entire makeup look is gorgeous! How did the Urban Decay foundation work with your dry skin? I’ve said a million times now we are shade twins and have the same type of skin! I’ve been interested in getting it but I don’t know if it’s dry skin friendly? Thanks again Patty! You’re a true treasure and deserve everything amazing in life!
I didn’t want my own babies, I just wanted to adopt. But I got pregnant and it is just the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me! It has taught me sooo many things and molded me into a better human. Like I thought I was patient before but wow, it is sooo hard to throw me off now. It teaches you everything you thought you already knew and were good at and of course things that you weren’t good at. Empathy amplifies, patience amplifies, awareness amplifies, happiness amplifies, and love… you can’t match this love. It’s the most beautiful love and experience in the world!
Thank you for sharing something so personal, Patty. I’m 35 and happily married. I also had a rough childhood and I am currently my abuelitas caregiver. She lives with me and will be 95 on Sunday. She’s my everything. However, like you because of everything I’ve experienced I have always felt that I don’t want to be a mom. I’m still undecided and feel like time is running out.
watching you grow into a mother is truly so lovely and reminds me of the journey I went through become one when I did, but my babies are much older now lol
I LOVE you talking about the deeper things in life, such as your childhood & sweet daughter ❤❤❤ Thank you & I think people are longing to feel that 😊🙏 I feel your heart 💖💖💖
Hi patty, thank you for your honesty regarding becoming a mother, you asked if it was hormones dictating your anxiety of having your baby girl with you at all times, let me say I felt the same & at time I worry about her even now & she is 23yrs old, it’s just a part of loving your baby so much that does this to us new mothers. Love Katherine xoxo
Love this! I also didn’t think I wanted kids until my late 20s, had my little boy when I was 30. It gets better and better all the time, he’s 2 next month and is hilarious! Definitely agree with the support system as well, it’s an absolute lifesaver.
Patty thank you so much for sharing your story, you don't know how much it might help other women that might be on the fence of wanting kids or not. I've always been the kind of person that was never too bothered about babies, or other people's children. I never saw myself as a mother and was very career focused in all my 20's and part of my 30's... I thought when i turned 30 i will feel like having a baby but I didn't feel nature calling me at all! I also became single for a few years so I accepted that unless I found the right person I would not even worry deciding if I wanted kids or not... then I met my current husband, he really wants kids and I had decided I wanted to have them too, but I still didn't really feel that motherhood call... I tried to find help online as I really wanted to feel that I wanted this for myself.. but I feel like these days is more popular to not want children that having them😅 so it didn't really help. With time and seeing other people recently becoming mothers, I started feeling like I really wanted a baby. As you said, I don't want to have a life where I don't experience something like this and share it with my husband... I want to feel all that love and have it in my life. I'm now TTC and waiting for this baby. Your story is reassuring and I'm sure I will feel like you when the time comes❤
I did not want kids either, until I met my husband. I grew up in a really bad home situation and I also struggled with addiction up until I was 26. I got clean, met my husband a year later and also got a chance to be around some of my friends kids. I changed my mind once my life had some major changes. I realized I am very maternal and a natural at being a mom! It’s crazy to even think about. My son is almost 2 and I’m thinking about having baby number 2 soon 😍.
I am one of those women that wished I had heard more stories like this! I spent a long time feeling guilty for not wanting children. Everyone around me was and still is baby crazy…but not me. I felt very inadequate as a woman, like something was wrong with me. Life is fulfilling for me, and I never felt the pull to have a child. I love children, though! I love teaching kids (taught dance for 6 years), and maybe I was afraid of the baby stage? Family issues also caused a riff. I finally found a partner, felt safe and stable, and decided that I was not going to screw up another human’s life. I want to contribute to their future. I am now ~7 weeks pregnant! I am an older mum, but I know this is the right time for me and my growing little family. In this unstable and cruel world, I want to hand them a sense of peace and knowledge to help their generation. Help the world. 🙏🏻
My mom had me at 35 years old after 3-4 miscarriages. She always told me that she wanted a little girl. My mom recently passed away but a mother is someone so special. Congratulations to you. ❤
Aww such a beautiful video patty! My daughter is 18 she'll be 19 in November she's my only child I'm 37 and I just couldn't imagine life without her. The love is like nothing you could ever think of there will always be a bond and connection! 💕
My mom was like your grandma she passed a little over a year ago and completely understand how difficult it is to lose someone who is everything to you, I’ve passed my time to have the opportunity to have my own little one I’m so so happy for you that you have found your way❤
I didn't originally want to be a mom, but the Lord changed my heart and now I have 3 kids. Motherhood is the hardest job I've ever had, but it's also the most rewarding. And yes! Those post-birth bonding hormones are strong!!! LOL Thank you for posting this, I hope others will keep an open mind as they listen to your heart on this subject. ❤
I felt the same way you did since I was a child as well and no one really understood me and just assumed I’d change my mind as I got older. I never even thought I’d have a partner one day. It definitely depends on your partner and situation that changed your mind. It’s all so new and different, but I’m excited about my first pregnancy and love my baby so much already. 🥰
As a mother of 2 and a research fellow at university, every baby is different. Being a mother is the most fulfilling experience and I was desperate for children from the outset, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Not every baby conforms to online guides for sleep/wake/feed routines. Don’t bank on having a “text book” baby, if that’s what your decision comes down to. My first child wasn’t text book, nothing we read worked. He woke every 30-45 min for the first year, wouldn’t sleep anywhere but next to me or on me, cried all the time and so on. we had breastfeeding issues even though I continued to BF, it was a blur. He’s 4.5 years old now and he’s extremely intelligent, still bed shares, and we deal with other stuff that isn’t text book lol like his bedtime always being 9pm and waking 6am with no naps but we’ve come to expect that. my second baby currently 9 weeks old, is what Patty described. Relaxed barely cries, only wakes 2-3 times overnight max (my first didn’t do this till 2.5 years old on occasional nights) and was overall just a whole different baby. She takes to text book routines well in a way my first never did. Also you’re biologically wired to be close to your baby, it’s not bizarre, It’s protective for your baby and you from an evolutionary perspective. By being with your baby you regulate baby’s heartbeat, ensure a stable milk supply if breastfeeding and build new neural pathways in baby’s brain which is same important, not to mention build and sustain oxytocin hormonal reducing the likelihood of PND (not guarantee but for the most part it’s what occurs).
For some reason I thought you were the kind of person who wanted to be a mom but had no rush. Idk, you have that motherly caring vibe. Loved hearing your story and I know youre already a great mom
I had my first child 10 years ago in October and went home for the holidays. She was being passed around to other family members, (all experienced parents too!) and I was watching them like a hawk!! I did NOT want her to be with anyone else and didn’t trust anybody!! I also was so in love with her and was holding her or skin to skin for the first few months. Mommy hormones are pretty crazy and very powerful! Now I’ve got 2 kids 10 years later and I’m like, yes please take them 😂😂
I feel very seen with this video. I also had a challenging childhood and was raised by my grandmother. I have never been a baby person but it was different when I had my own (after a lot of back and forth in my mind whether it was the right thing). One thing I wish I knew is that raising my kids would resurface things from my childhood that I thought I had left behind. It made me harder on myself as a mom. That would be my one advice to younger me: give yourself grace.
I will say i definitely had a total mind change on stay at home moms… it’s insane how hard it is to get anything accomplished… for me with two toddlers I’m so grateful my husband works from home most days cuz one or the other is up to some Mischief 😂
How beautiful everything you said, you have a way with words and you made me cry as well. So happy that you changed your mind and decided to become a mother to get to enjoy everything about being a mom. I absolutely love watching your grwms and the look came out just as beautiful as your ❤️ heart. Take care and big 🤗 hugs to you!!
Hi Patt, Thank you so much for sharing all that with everyone. I am so happy for you! Christmas with kids is just magic. So, all I can tell you is make as much movies of everything now as you can, they change so fast! The first sounds they make are magical. Also talk to your baby! They understand much more than what we think!
I had two very different births and postpartum experiences. My first child was breech so I had a planned c-section and nursing was very difficult and did not last long. I never went in labor so I missed out on those birth hormones. I love my child now but I did not feel that immediate crazy love and bond and I feel sad about that. With my second child I had a normal spontaneous birth and then nursed him for two years. Totally different experience. I was so high on birth hormones and felt an immediate bond. I was and still am a total mama bear. Like you said, I could not stand handing him over to someone else, it physically hurt.
Very, very similar stories here, Patty. I've been watching you for such a long time, without knowing we have so much in common. I grew up the same way, feeling sidelined, but unlike you, I never had an awesome grandma (it was the polar opposite). I never wanted kids, but when I fell pregnant even taking contraception, I found out that life wanted to teach me a lesson. I loved to be a mum. Today, I'm a mum of two teenage girls. So, if you feel the time is now, go for it. Like you, me and my husband moved countries (from Brazil to Australia), and after a lot of financial difficulties, today we are stable and things are easier than before. Plus, I never liked babies, and today, I work in Neonatal ICU. Life has a funny way of slapping us on the face 😂.
Aww such a sweet inspiring story! I love motherhood! Postpartum is real. I hated being away from my daughter. I didn’t even go out with friends or family for the first 2-3 years of her life. I would come straight home from work. I was obsessed. However, I didn’t mind my immediate family holding/ caring for her to give me a break lol. Great advice! Welcome to motherhood. I love it over here!
As soon as I gave birth, I felt a kind of separation anxiety like I couldn’t protect her as much because she wasn’t in my belly anymore. I think that’s very normal for a lot of mothers I didn’t want anyone touching her and I was freaking out because they had to whisk her away to the ICU because she came out not not breathing from the cord around her chest and neck. Now she’s 18 years old and I still feel a separation anxiety when she’s not home I constantly worry, but it’s so exciting watching them grow and having so many beautiful memories to look back on
I lost 3 babies and all at 4 months. Broke me so much. Loosing 2 babies, in the 4th month, was a nightmare. I was abused and lost my girl because of it. I have had a ton of bad traumatized life. It is too fast, and I hate my mental issues, so I keep to myself. I choose to share love and joy being my very silly self. 😅 Girl, this has to be the most joyful video. Time is so much faster as we get older. I have my soul mate 11 years ago this year. 😊❤ He does not want kids, and I can't have any. 😊❤ I'm 58 anyhow. Hahaha.
I have always been like you, haven't ever wanted kids or didn't even want to be around babies at all growing up. I'm 34 now and am still happily childless. So much so that my husband just got a vasectomy. I'm still super happy with my decision and have no regrets. If I do end up changing my mind, I will adopt since there are MANY children without parents. I'm glad you are happy with your choice though!
LOVE the finished eye look!! Ardell wispy lashes for the WIN all day!! Oh yeah no one but me and my grandmother touched my first born - but by the time I had the second one, I'd give her to the delivery guy if I could ROFL
I also didn't want to have my own kids. I wanted to adopt. But life is strange. I had my kids, and they mean the world too me. And being a mother makes me be a better teacher. I love my students like my own children❤
Hey Patty this video really hit me hard but also in a good way, my nan was my most favorite person in the world I had my daughter at 19 even my friends thought I would be a crappy mum because I had no interest for similar reasons and I did wonder if I was doing the right thing, now she's 18 and she's the most beautiful caring amazing human and I don't know how I would ever live without her. I love that you made this video I hope your wee girl brings you just as much joy as mine has ❤
I couldn't have a baby when I was young and first married at 18. For 10 years we tried everything but no baby. My 2nd husband who already had 2 daughters, we discussed before getting married having a child but I was over 35 and I was afraid of something being wrong with a child, we decided not to chance it. I was fully aware that it was my last chance of being mother. I am happy with my husband of many years. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Patty. I love the makeup videos, but I love hearing about your life, too. So happy you're happy with your decision to become a mom. ❤
My husband and I never wanted kids. It was more of 'if it happens, it happens'. But I was leaning towards not having kids because I never connected to other kids and they annoyed me lol. But we decided that it's better to have a child then to regret not having a child. So at 37 yrs old we had our first daughter. And 7 months later, I got pregnant with our second daughter. She is now almost 3 months old. They are 15 months apart. And I love it. It's the best decision we've ever made. The love is indescribable. And I always thought that I would miss my old life of freedom, but I don't. I look forward to spending time with them. I am much happier even though I am more tired now 😂
I never got married or have kids, as I never wanted to since I was a kid, and it never actually changed even after reaching my 30s. But a lot of my friends have kids and families. I never agreed to marriage and always ended relationships because I never wanted kids, so I decided to just stay single. I was never close to my family, everyone is divorced or having affairs, and my parents have a meh relationship to the point Im surprised they aren’t divorced but due to financial reasons did not. So my image of marriage, family and kids is very negative and clouded.
I am the opposite...I was the kid that wanted to do everything with babies...hold them, feed, change etc....but I never wanted my own children. At 41 and been married for 24 yrs....and I am happy with that choice. Love that you have embraced motherhood and all it has to offer. Much love to you.
We drove from Fl to Ca to meet our new 7 mo old granddaughter . My son is 36 and his girlfriend is 38 . Never thought they wanted a baby either. They use an app for nap time ,feeding , playtime etc , all that . We laughed about it! 36 years ago we winged it , when the baby cried we figured out what to do ! But I have to say she is the happiest baby , never cried . They moved on to the next thing the app said before she had a chance to cry !!!! lol
I rarely comment, but I love that you broached this subject. When you said "I still don't like babies, other people's babies" it made me smile because that's everyone! I don't hate children/babies, but if they're not mine, I don't enjoy them. 😂 You can't explain to someone how it feels different to have your own child, it has to be experienced!
I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but I did not have that maternal instinct like you mentioned, either. I never wanted to hold Other people’s babies or play with the babies…. But I did want my own. Then when I was pregnant with my first, my sister was shocked! What?! You?!!! She said she never pictured me as the motherly type. That kind of hurt my feelings. But I loved being a mom. I wanted to have 4. Then after I had my 2nd, she was such a handful. Into everything and climbed on everything and so fussy and particular about things. I decided two was plenty, lol. But absolutely love my two girls. I’d always pick to do it again. They’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But, I still don’t like holding other peoples babies that much or oooing and awe-ing over other peoples babies.
Thank you for this video. I always wanted children. I have three. Being a Mom definitely has it challenges. My husband left me for another woman, I have been a single Mom for 5 years now. Having my children with me actually helped my healing from the pain of being left for another woman. I also have medical issues, so getting pregnant was not easy. My Doctor was surprised that I ended up having 3 children. For me personally my greatest achievement in my life is my children. No matter what else I do nothing will ever replace that. I almost lost my life recently, things happen unexpectedly so every day with my children is a gift.
I am the same with babies. I do not like other people’s babies. They are cute and all, but I never felt like holding them and whatever. With my daughter it’s so amazing! Like I could never see myself without having her. But I do not want another one. One is enough. ❤I was very scared before giving birth that I would not connect with her.
I just clicked on the video to watch, but I just wanted to share my own story before one of my gremlins interrupts. 😂 I was a much later in life mom. I started at 35 and am expecting our third son at age 40 in a couple of months. I was very goal and career driven, and being a mom was never something I dreamed of. It wasn’t that I was against it, I just never had the dream. What I found is that my willingness to consider babies was very dependent on whether I was with a partner that I felt could give their attention to both me and children. Once I was ready for that sort of person and I found him, I was ready to have kids. I had a hard childhood also and my gramma was also my person. It’s terrifying to think that I’ll ever make my kids feel like I felt growing up. Every single thing I do or say to my kids runs through that filter. Sometimes the trauma comes out, but I work night and day to keep our home a safe place for our boys. My dad always told me there are two types of people, those who repeat the family mistakes and those who learn from them and change things. It’s funny how being a parent gives you more grace and awareness for how your parents did the best they could with what they had to work with. I’ve experienced an immense amount of grief since my kids were born and they have absolutely pulled me through each and every hard day. Thanks for sharing your story, I am looking forward to finishing listening.
I’m 35 and childless and this resonates with me soo much! Thanks for sharing.
Yes, I had my career, had my first at 31 and went back to work when she was 3mths, after working to 2 weeks before my due date...the had my second 1½yrs later, again worked right up to my due date and had 6mths off with new baby and toddler... I enjoyed working but now my kids are grown, and have babies, and I've just retired, I wish I'd been able to have more time off with them... but interest rates were 17.5% on mortgages then, and we couldn't afford the house on my husbands wage alone.
Thank you for your words 😢
I love hearing you talk about your grandmother. She would be so proud of you continuing her loving example in the world. Thanks for sharing.
I made a pros and cons list for having kids vs not and I had an overwhelming amount of reasons for not having kids 😅 but I looove watching people be so fulfilled in their roles as parents and I don’t mind being part of someone else’s support village
.. aaand you are the friend we all need. Sometimes being an Auntie (honorary or by blood) is better than being a mom.
@@sherrimiller5951yes indeed, plus as we get older we move into this role. ❤
Love the eyeshadow look. I'm 41, and I've never wanted children that just isn't my journey, but I'm happy for you, Patty 😊
Hi Patty, I got the mother feeling first some years ago in my beginning 30s, never before. It took me a lot of tears, frustration and had to gather all my strength everytime I heard a friend who got pregnant seemingly effortlessly. Finally, after 5 years trying and an in vitro process, I am blessed with a pregnancy and an upcoming baby girl next march. I am sooooo happy and say thanks every day ❤❤❤❤❤
Congratulations!!!! 🎉🍾🎈🎊
Oh Patty, I'm 55 and just love your channel. I just want to tell you how much growth I've seen in you since becoming a mom. Your personality has exploded on camera and sense of humor is hysterical. Thanks for sharing your story and I hope you know how proud your grandmother would be of you!
My twins are adults now, it went super fast enjoy every moment. Great points for new moms! You're blessed to have your in laws helping you. You guys sound like a strong couple. I was in Cuba not long ago, loved the people and food! Pretty icy aqua eye look!
My baby cried a lot, all the time, and only mostly at night! But, it is the best thing that ever happened to us. Our "baby" is now 22. I wish I had done things differently sometimes, but we did the best we could with what we had, and he is a great guy now.
I also didn’t think I wanted kids, but then my niece was born. The incredible love I feel for my niece and the desire to be around her and care for her made me realize that not only did I want to be a mom, I would probably be good at it.
I FELT it when you said you love everything about your baby, even feeding and changing diapers, and I’m the same. Also I have to mention that I too have a daughter and she also just turned 4 months, so our time frame and journey are similar in that regard.
Thank you for sharing your story. I agree it will be helpful for others who think similarly to hear this perspective.
Patty, I am so glad you now have a healing life filled with healing, supportive people. I too used to not want children. I came from an incredibly small family, I had a difficult childhood and had little exposure to babies and small children. But when I met my future husband he was telling my about how his father was transformed when he was around children. It had never occurred to me, and I had never really witnessed someone who LOVED children. Anyway, two children later, I absolutely LOVE my boys. I was a stay at home mother, mostly because I just couldn't see that anyone would do for them what I would do for them. They are now in their 20's, and I still love them. One has moved across the country and I miss him all the time. But if you love your 4 month old, wait until she becomes a little person who can talk to you. That is the absolute best. I have so many wonderful memories of the things my children told me. From my oldest coming home from preschool and telling me about naked people who have a feast every year. That was his interpretation of native americans, he had actually been calling them nadik americans, but I heard naked. Them my other son was forever telling me, 'No mom, you're wrong' which always made me laugh. Anyway, thank you for sharing. I would also love to hear more about your journey to America, and how you did it. I lived in Miami in 1980 - 81 when the Marielle Boat lift was at it's peak, and went to school with many Cuban immigrants. I'm always impressed by the courage of people who take on a major challenge like immigration. Now I love children so much I work as a substitute teacher in elementary schools. I just wish that more people saw parenthood as something to undertake deliberately, so that all children are wanted.
Thank you for sharing! I think the Mariel exodus prompted the US to allow all family members of people who were claimed to the US to also get a visa and legally come over. That’s how my dad came to the USA in 1995. I was 3 and he had to leave me behind. I came when I was 15 because he claimed me.
When I had my babies there was no internet help available and my mom lived far away. One of my treasured resources was a paperback book called “The Suddenly Ill Child.” It was tough to get through it all, but the bottom line is that each mom has to figure her way through the challenges of taking good care of her tiny ones. I loved your story of evolving sense of self.
Patty, My husband didn’t want kids either, we were married for 8 years & got surprised with a pregnancy. He wasn’t so sure, but I was excited & never looked back, I had a rough childhood, so I hadn’t been sure either whether I wanted to be a Mom. It totally changed my life…so much love, so many wonderful memories. My two children are grown now, I lost my wonderful husband to cancer right before my daughter had our first grand daughter. He would have been such a great grandpa! But I now have 3 grand daughters & my son has my only grandson. I am very blessed 💗💗💗
I think your Abuelita was in your heart encouraging you and it's fitting you named your baby girl after her. I started thinking about another baby like right after I had both of mine too. lol It's totally natural to want a sibling for your child. You have lots of time to decide that and make it happen and in the meantime you get to enjoy Evelyn's bright light and presence in your life. What a blessing! A beautiful happy family. Thank you for sharing, Patty. xo
I had to stop and start typing this note (and I'm starting to cry again) so I will just say I can relate to everything you said, from the family dynamic to being super close to your grandmother (mine was GOD sent). Pour ALL that love into sweet Evelyn and know that your grandmother is still there watching and guiding you.
It warmed my heart to hear you talking of your baby. I had some tears. I loved being a mother. I tell my kids they are the very best thing of my life. Even though we did it on our own, I loved everything about being a mother. When I had my babies, there was no support with family. My husband and I had just moved to a new state for his job. I was going to college for my degree in criminal law. I would go to the library and check out books every Saturday on raising children. I believe that there is no greater calling or blessing in this world. We raise the future generation, who will hopefully learn love, compassion, and charity through our example as a mother. Take the time to be present with your child as everything else will pass. ❤
I completely understand. I started life-late in life, if that makes sense. I didn’t think I could have children but that wasn’t the case. I was 35 and 37 when I had children and it was “my” best decision. I also dislike other peoples babies. Haha I’m happy you found your path! ❤
This video topic is really important. Alot of women feel guilt and shame when it comes to not wanting to be a mom. I know I did. I never wanted to be a mom. I never saw myself having kids. Didn't have the maternal instinct. Then four years ago I had my daughter. I don't ever regret it, but there are defiantly days when I doubt myself and wonder if I should of done this or not. Sometimes being a mom really over whelms me. I have a lot of mental health issues on top of it to make matters worst. I love her though and she loves me.
Thank you for talking about this Patty. You have such a beautiful family! Still I totally understand where you are coming from. ❤
Parenting is one of the most difficult, thankless and most criticised job in the world. I had 2 kids, 2 miscarriages, raised my stepson, and they are all such different people as adults.
What you mentioned that your grandma passing got you thinking about other relatives passing, I can relate so much.
Two of my dearest family member passed a few years apart and I was having this intrusive thoughts about being sitting at a table celebrating a holiday and all of my family slowly disappearing until I was the only one left sitting at the table.
Great part of that made me change my mind about having kids. Right now I have a one year old and hoping for baby number two soon.
Hi Patty,
Firstly I’m a huge fan of your content!
Secondly, wow I couldn’t relate to a video more if I tried. Your attitude towards having your own children prior to Evelyn (who is gorgeous by the way) is exactly how I feel about children.
Your upbringing with your parents and the closeness you shared with your grandmother, I lost my Nan nearly 8 years ago and she was my rock. I was very much neglected by my parents and it was my grandmother (Nana) who was there for me.
I couldn’t help but get emotional with you, the feeling of loss and void.
I guess I wanted to thank you for sharing your experience, you’re not alone.
Much love xxxx
Oh Patty, I feel so many of the things you felt and have said. My parents divorced when I was only 3 and because of my health problems I had a lot of surgeries growing up so my Grandparents stepped in to take care of me so my Mother could work. I was the baby on both sides of my family so I was a bit spoiled but also I wasn’t allowed around a lot of other kids especially babies so I didn’t really know how to act around them. Fast forward to meeting my Husband and getting married. He didn’t care if we had kids either but then after we were together then married for 4 yrs I changed my mind. Our daughter will be turning 25 in October and just 3 weeks ago had our second Grandchild. (A 3 yr old boy and 3 week old girl). I’m so glad I did have at least one and while I was in my 20’s because my health has gotten really bad again but I can at least enjoy my family. Please soak up every moment can can and enjoy her while she is young. Best wishes from my family to yours.
To Add: I have also said I don’t like babies or just other people’s kids in general, mine I love and even my niece, nephew, and great-nieces, but others kids can be quite annoying (sorry to say)
I had the same experience with my grandmother...she was like my mom and my world and she passed away in 2014 around Thanksgiving...the worst day of my life and the worst thing that has ever happened to me...but I am stronger now because of her she was the strongest person I have ever known 💯❤
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I just lost my dad in April and I will never be the same.
Like you I was never a baby person, but always wanted to be a mom. I have 2 sons and they are the absolute best part of me and my life. Congrats to you and enjoy the ride! Don’t sweat the small stuff she’s going to be fine with you as her loving mom !
I LOVE being a mother. I have 4 kids and I had two in my 20s and the last one when I was 40. I got to experience motherhood at different stages of my life and I feel so blessed. My house is always full of laughter and bickering and I would not change it for anything! I loved your story and how motherhood has affected you. I believe that motherhood is very instinctive, when you get to know your child, you just know what to do! Enjoy your little one as much as you can, they grow up too fast!
by the way, I ❤ your videos. I’m glad you find the time to squeeze them into your new life!😊
Your Grandma would be very proud of you. I’m 60 and raising my second family but I always knew I wanted to be a mom. It’s been challenging and rewarding. It’s definitely not easy. I had a newborn at 56 and a 20 month old.
The thought, "Where's my baby??" does not go away as your child grows. You always want to know if they are safe and happy. Letting go in stages (someone trusted is watching them, when they get their license, first job, moving out, etc.) is difficult, but of course, necessary. Congratulations again on your precious bundle of joy and for being a new Mom! You are going to have many MANY happy memories with your daughter as she gets older. Children are a blessing. 💗 And don't be afraid of a 2nd child...they will have each other. Two of my daughters are 3 years apart and they are the best of friends. I could go on (I have quite a few children). 😊
I definitely can relate when you say you don’t like other peoples babies but it’s so much different when it’s your baby. I’m so happy you have found joy in your life again. Babies are so much fun and it is so rewarding being a mom.
First we're shade twins and now life twins. I was given up for adoption and lived in foster homes until i was 8. Finally adopted by a family who had a hard time loving me. I never wanted kids. Until i got pregnant at 31 and her dad helped me through it. I didn't find out i was pregnant until i was 4 Months along so i had no choice but to have the baby. Best blessing i never knew i needed. She's helped me to learn how to be a mom and we have grown together. She's given me areason to become the best version of myself as a mom. It also feels a little resenful that my mom couldn't love me as easy as i love my daughter. She's the best gift i never wanted but definitely needed and i love her beyond anything. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I feel even closer to you. Christmas is gonna be glorious!!!
I didn’t want to be a mother so much so that my priest asked my husband if he was okay with that decision before he would marry us. Biology is strong…once my friends started having them my body and mind were like WE WANT THIS! Lol. Three kids later….
@@gmoney1795 Ha ha, I had a similar experience. Didn’t think I wanted kids, got married, all my friends started having babies and suddenly having a baby of my own felt absolutely necessary. 😂 Still went to therapy first though to make sure it wasn’t just my biology driving me into a crazy life decision. Three kids later best decision we ever made…
🐑🐑🐑🐑🐑
You just did it the right way..found the right man, married, worked out how good he was, trustworthy and had a future, so could bring kids into the relationship...so many girls just want a baby, get pregnant without thinking if the man they choose is a good person or will be a good father.
Being a mom is a personal experience that no one can speak for you. Beautiful to see you have a baby to love. I said the same about kids and not wanting because of my childhood and other people’s kids didn’t work for me… Now I know that it was a self punishment… continued pain stemmed into my life. Kids are different when they’re yours. It all depends.. You deserve this love! 😘
I am so glad you shared this story… I am raised by my grandmother and I am a child of divorced parents with who I don’t have the best relationship. I’ve always been scared of being a mom, but just like you with the days passing by I come to realise that death is certain but I would like to create a life. Your story is just so similar to mine, even my grandmother dying, the pain and the void… I fully understand and I am sorry.
Sending all my love your ways and your daughter and thanks for sharing and encouraging not to be scared of motherhood❤
Most Beautiful video!!! Congratulations Patty, how blessed Evelyn is to have such loving family. 💝💕💕
It's so hard to explain the pure joy you feel holding and loving your baby. It makes it all worth it, and I think if we could get a sneak peek of that, it would make the decision less scary! ❤
Si true! ♥️
What you experienced was very common. I always wanted to be a mom. I even made my babies their baby food myself rather than buy from the store. ( I highly recommend it. It's cheaper if you are on budget) I'm so happy for you.
Yes! You want 1 more! I am 62 yrs old and had 2 boys. I remember thinking I could never love another like the 1st, yet there's room in your heart for both. IDK what I would do without them now! They are very different and I am beyond blessed to have healthy happy sons that are now giving my grandchildren. Oh yes, have another one for sure!
I can relate to your story, I, too was raised by my Mamaw and no one ever compared to her. I lost her in 2020 and my life changed forever the pain of loosing someone you love so much is not only mentally painful, it hurts so bad it’s physical. I totally understand as I am a mother now as well and loving your child is like no other greater love! I enjoy your channel and wish you all the success and happiness, thank you for sharing with us!
🌸🌸🌸Thank you for sharing your beautiful story 💗 My daughter just had her first baby 💙, I am so blessed! Great job mama! 🌸🌸🌸
I didn't really think about it when I got pregnant (I have two boys) never gave it a thought then they were born! The BEST blessing from God I could have gotten. My babies taught me what unconditional love is, I told my husband "you are the back of line now they come first" haha and vice versa. WE always put them first they are incredible young, repsectful and loving men. We are blessed by GOD that he gave us this gift of our children there is no greater treasure in your life you can receive, so many don't get this and I pray for them. God bless you!
So happy for you. My twins are about to turn 16 and I have to tell you the best is yet to come. The love just grows and grows and grows and it’s wonderful seeing your babies turn into young people.
Everyone makes the best decision for themselves but I always wonder how many people regret it as they get older and the family system is even more important. You do everything for your children and most of the time if you raise them right they will help you too as you get older. When you start needing help as you grow elderly it can be everything to have a support system.
Dear Patty, what a beautiful precious gift. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I have one daughter too and she's the sunshine of my life, but motherhood is a massive journey and the challenges can be overwhelming. I fully respect the decision not have children either. I was never the maternal type and never loved babies either. But i feel blessed for having her
Omg, Patty! I was crying along with you! Thank you so much for sharing such a vulnerable lovely story. Motherhood is such a personal journey (as well as being parented by a grandparent). Many don’t discuss the turn around one can have when it comes to thinking about parenting. I too told myself I didn’t want to be a mom when I was younger, only to desperately change my mind when it was nearly too late. And now as an older mom to a 2.5 yo, it’s still the best decision of my life. That said for those reading this, adoption is nearly always an option if your heart pulls you to parent even late in life. I just love your openness and advice and your makeup looks bomb too! I’m so very happy for you and I’m grateful young girls have ppl like you to listen to. ❤💕🫶🏽
I was totally like you as a kid and still, as an adult, I don't like infants. I feel like I will break them. I love kids once they can hold they're heads up without my assistance!! I never had kids and people always made me feel bad. I'm now 53 and I have an amazing 24 year old step son and amazing nieces and nephews, all of whom I love very much and think of as my kiddos. Family is family no matter how you're related. I'm so glad you had your grandma!! Grandmas are awesome!!!
Grandma's are the BEST! Thank you for sharing!
Becoming a mother was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. I highly recommend it ❤️
When you say “I don’t like other people’s baby’s but I like my own” I laughed out loud because it’s such a true statement for me!!! I much prefer my own kids then other people’s LOL 😂😂😂 Patty, I ADORE YOU!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
Hi darl, myself and my husband never had children. Well, should I say I never did, my hubby always wanted to have them, but me definitely not because I was very ambitious and career minded, I told my hubby way before we got married and he always accepted that. We have had a full life full of love, many friends, exciting holidays, beautiful homes. Did we miss children? The answer is a definite no
but that's just our personal decision. Thank you, gorgeous, and you look lovely without makeup. ❤
Thank you for sharing this ❤
Did you ever feel pressure into having kids?
48 years married, and no kids. It's working for us!!!!
@wombatlittle1 Yes, I did darl never by my lovely husband but by either side of our families and acquaintances.
@auntiedramey3855 40yrs together with 34yrs married and incredibly happy, and you look a stunner if you have been married 48yrs. I need to know your beauty secret.
I completely agree with you, the joy my children bring me and the love I have for them is unmatched. I’m the oldest of eight kids and yes, I was that person that always loved the kids, but I never wanted more than one child because I wanted to make sure I could give that child everything I didn’t have and more. My son is 22 and my daughter is 11. I always tell my son he saved my life. I was going down a dark path and it was like the moment I knew I was pregnant. It woke me up. He is such an amazing young man and my baby girl, that just fueled me to continue to be great for them. I was exactly the same. I didn’t wanna put My Baby down or let anybody hold them. I’m still super protective if they could walk around with me all day I would love that.
Thank you for sharing your personal journey to motherhood! I know it will be helpful to someone! I was like you, didn’t like babies, didn’t want one. Now I’m 63 and never had kids. But I am happily married, and a teacher of four and five year olds. Since they’re so little, I feel a bit like their mom. Their “school mom,” any way. ❤
Patty, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you sharing even more about your childhood and not wanting to become a parent because you didn’t have parents that made you feel like their number one priority! My parents have raised and have had custody of my niece Jewels. She was born with two really crappy parents that wanted nothing to do with her. She feels like you did. How can she be a parent when she’s never experienced being a priority with my sister and her dad. My mom and dad have always made Jewels their number one priority and she’s an amazing beautiful intelligent 17 year old! But she struggles with not understanding why her mom and dad don’t come around don’t call ect……I’m going to share this video with her. She needs to see this and know that other teenagers/adults feel the same way when they are not raised by their biological parents. I didn’t expect to cry watching this video. I know how much you miss your grandma Patty, I’m happy you decided to have a baby. Evelyn is so adorable, she always looks so happy and ps she has the cutest clothes and headbands! When you’re holding her in your videos you can tell how happy and proud you are! What a great and inspiring video! I know you’ve been through a lot in your life. I think baby number 2 would be amazing but only if you want to love ya girlie! ❤
Your entire makeup look is gorgeous! How did the Urban Decay foundation work with your dry skin? I’ve said a million times now we are shade twins and have the same type of skin! I’ve been interested in getting it but I don’t know if it’s dry skin friendly?
Thanks again Patty! You’re a true treasure and deserve everything amazing in life!
As a SAHM for ten years, we definitely need support too.
I’m so glad you became a mom! You seem like someone who would be a really good mom!!
I would love to have had a mom like you!!!
I didn’t want my own babies, I just wanted to adopt. But I got pregnant and it is just the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me! It has taught me sooo many things and molded me into a better human. Like I thought I was patient before but wow, it is sooo hard to throw me off now. It teaches you everything you thought you already knew and were good at and of course things that you weren’t good at. Empathy amplifies, patience amplifies, awareness amplifies, happiness amplifies, and love… you can’t match this love. It’s the most beautiful love and experience in the world!
Thank you for sharing something so personal, Patty. I’m 35 and happily married. I also had a rough childhood and I am currently my abuelitas caregiver. She lives with me and will be 95 on Sunday. She’s my everything. However, like you because of everything I’ve experienced I have always felt that I don’t want to be a mom. I’m still undecided and feel like time is running out.
So happy that you have been blessed with a beautiful daughter!
Thank you for sharing such personal and beautiful story, and all while applying your makeup impeccably.
watching you grow into a mother is truly so lovely and reminds me of the journey I went through become one when I did, but my babies are much older now lol
I LOVE you talking about the deeper things in life, such as your childhood & sweet daughter ❤❤❤ Thank you & I think people are longing to feel that 😊🙏 I feel your heart 💖💖💖
Great video and no doubt will give your younger viewers things to think about! How wonderful that your baby has their grandparents around!
Hi patty, thank you for your honesty regarding becoming a mother, you asked if it was hormones dictating your anxiety of having your baby girl with you at all times, let me say I felt the same & at time I worry about her even now & she is 23yrs old, it’s just a part of loving your baby so much that does this to us new mothers. Love Katherine xoxo
Love this! I also didn’t think I wanted kids until my late 20s, had my little boy when I was 30. It gets better and better all the time, he’s 2 next month and is hilarious! Definitely agree with the support system as well, it’s an absolute lifesaver.
Patty thank you so much for sharing your story, you don't know how much it might help other women that might be on the fence of wanting kids or not. I've always been the kind of person that was never too bothered about babies, or other people's children. I never saw myself as a mother and was very career focused in all my 20's and part of my 30's... I thought when i turned 30 i will feel like having a baby but I didn't feel nature calling me at all! I also became single for a few years so I accepted that unless I found the right person I would not even worry deciding if I wanted kids or not... then I met my current husband, he really wants kids and I had decided I wanted to have them too, but I still didn't really feel that motherhood call... I tried to find help online as I really wanted to feel that I wanted this for myself.. but I feel like these days is more popular to not want children that having them😅 so it didn't really help. With time and seeing other people recently becoming mothers, I started feeling like I really wanted a baby. As you said, I don't want to have a life where I don't experience something like this and share it with my husband... I want to feel all that love and have it in my life. I'm now TTC and waiting for this baby. Your story is reassuring and I'm sure I will feel like you when the time comes❤
Congratulations Patty! It’s great to hear your story and feel your joy.
I did not want kids either, until I met my husband. I grew up in a really bad home situation and I also struggled with addiction up until I was 26. I got clean, met my husband a year later and also got a chance to be around some of my friends kids. I changed my mind once my life had some major changes. I realized I am very maternal and a natural at being a mom! It’s crazy to even think about. My son is almost 2 and I’m thinking about having baby number 2 soon 😍.
I am one of those women that wished I had heard more stories like this! I spent a long time feeling guilty for not wanting children. Everyone around me was and still is baby crazy…but not me. I felt very inadequate as a woman, like something was wrong with me. Life is fulfilling for me, and I never felt the pull to have a child. I love children, though! I love teaching kids (taught dance for 6 years), and maybe I was afraid of the baby stage? Family issues also caused a riff.
I finally found a partner, felt safe and stable, and decided that I was not going to screw up another human’s life. I want to contribute to their future. I am now ~7 weeks pregnant! I am an older mum, but I know this is the right time for me and my growing little family. In this unstable and cruel world, I want to hand them a sense of peace and knowledge to help their generation. Help the world. 🙏🏻
My mom had me at 35 years old after 3-4 miscarriages. She always told me that she wanted a little girl. My mom recently passed away but a mother is someone so special. Congratulations to you. ❤
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. God bless you.
Aww such a beautiful video patty! My daughter is 18 she'll be 19 in November she's my only child I'm 37 and I just couldn't imagine life without her. The love is like nothing you could ever think of there will always be a bond and connection! 💕
My mom was like your grandma she passed a little over a year ago and completely understand how difficult it is to lose someone who is everything to you, I’ve passed my time to have the opportunity to have my own little one I’m so so happy for you that you have found your way❤
I didn't originally want to be a mom, but the Lord changed my heart and now I have 3 kids. Motherhood is the hardest job I've ever had, but it's also the most rewarding. And yes! Those post-birth bonding hormones are strong!!! LOL Thank you for posting this, I hope others will keep an open mind as they listen to your heart on this subject. ❤
I felt the same way you did since I was a child as well and no one really understood me and just assumed I’d change my mind as I got older. I never even thought I’d have a partner one day. It definitely depends on your partner and situation that changed your mind. It’s all so new and different, but I’m excited about my first pregnancy and love my baby so much already. 🥰
Thank you for sharing your experiences of your Grandma and your new baby girl. Sending good thoughts to you ❤
As a mother of 2 and a research fellow at university, every baby is different. Being a mother is the most fulfilling experience and I was desperate for children from the outset, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Not every baby conforms to online guides for sleep/wake/feed routines. Don’t bank on having a “text book” baby, if that’s what your decision comes down to. My first child wasn’t text book, nothing we read worked. He woke every 30-45 min for the first year, wouldn’t sleep anywhere but next to me or on me, cried all the time and so on. we had breastfeeding issues even though I continued to BF, it was a blur. He’s 4.5 years old now and he’s extremely intelligent, still bed shares, and we deal with other stuff that isn’t text book lol like his bedtime always being 9pm and waking 6am with no naps but we’ve come to expect that. my second baby currently 9 weeks old, is what Patty described. Relaxed barely cries, only wakes 2-3 times overnight max (my first didn’t do this till 2.5 years old on occasional nights) and was overall just a whole different baby. She takes to text book routines well in a way my first never did.
Also you’re biologically wired to be close to your baby, it’s not bizarre, It’s protective for your baby and you from an evolutionary perspective. By being with your baby you regulate baby’s heartbeat, ensure a stable milk supply if breastfeeding and build new neural pathways in baby’s brain which is same important, not to mention build and sustain oxytocin hormonal reducing the likelihood of PND (not guarantee but for the most part it’s what occurs).
For some reason I thought you were the kind of person who wanted to be a mom but had no rush. Idk, you have that motherly caring vibe. Loved hearing your story and I know youre already a great mom
I had my first child 10 years ago in October and went home for the holidays. She was being passed around to other family members, (all experienced parents too!) and I was watching them like a hawk!! I did NOT want her to be with anyone else and didn’t trust anybody!! I also was so in love with her and was holding her or skin to skin for the first few months. Mommy hormones are pretty crazy and very powerful!
Now I’ve got 2 kids 10 years later and I’m like, yes please take them 😂😂
I feel very seen with this video. I also had a challenging childhood and was raised by my grandmother. I have never been a baby person but it was different when I had my own (after a lot of back and forth in my mind whether it was the right thing). One thing I wish I knew is that raising my kids would resurface things from my childhood that I thought I had left behind. It made me harder on myself as a mom. That would be my one advice to younger me: give yourself grace.
I will say i definitely had a total mind change on stay at home moms… it’s insane how hard it is to get anything accomplished… for me with two toddlers I’m so grateful my husband works from home most days cuz one or the other is up to some
Mischief 😂
How beautiful everything you said, you have a way with words and you made me cry as well. So happy that you changed your mind and decided to become a mother to get to enjoy everything about being a mom. I absolutely love watching your grwms and the look came out just as beautiful as your ❤️ heart. Take care and big 🤗 hugs to you!!
Hi Patt, Thank you so much for sharing all that with everyone. I am so happy for you! Christmas with kids is just magic. So, all I can tell you is make as much movies of everything now as you can, they change so fast! The first sounds they make are magical. Also talk to your baby! They understand much more than what we think!
I had two very different births and postpartum experiences. My first child was breech so I had a planned c-section and nursing was very difficult and did not last long. I never went in labor so I missed out on those birth hormones. I love my child now but I did not feel that immediate crazy love and bond and I feel sad about that. With my second child I had a normal spontaneous birth and then nursed him for two years. Totally different experience. I was so high on birth hormones and felt an immediate bond. I was and still am a total mama bear. Like you said, I could not stand handing him over to someone else, it physically hurt.
Very, very similar stories here, Patty. I've been watching you for such a long time, without knowing we have so much in common. I grew up the same way, feeling sidelined, but unlike you, I never had an awesome grandma (it was the polar opposite). I never wanted kids, but when I fell pregnant even taking contraception, I found out that life wanted to teach me a lesson. I loved to be a mum. Today, I'm a mum of two teenage girls. So, if you feel the time is now, go for it. Like you, me and my husband moved countries (from Brazil to Australia), and after a lot of financial difficulties, today we are stable and things are easier than before. Plus, I never liked babies, and today, I work in Neonatal ICU. Life has a funny way of slapping us on the face 😂.
Aww such a sweet inspiring story! I love motherhood! Postpartum is real. I hated being away from my daughter. I didn’t even go out with friends or family for the first 2-3 years of her life. I would come straight home from work. I was obsessed. However, I didn’t mind my immediate family holding/ caring for her to give me a break lol. Great advice! Welcome to motherhood. I love it over here!
As soon as I gave birth, I felt a kind of separation anxiety like I couldn’t protect her as much because she wasn’t in my belly anymore. I think that’s very normal for a lot of mothers I didn’t want anyone touching her and I was freaking out because they had to whisk her away to the ICU because she came out not not breathing from the cord around her chest and neck. Now she’s 18 years old and I still feel a separation anxiety when she’s not home I constantly worry, but it’s so exciting watching them grow and having so many beautiful memories to look back on
I lost 3 babies and all at 4 months. Broke me so much. Loosing 2 babies, in the 4th month, was a nightmare. I was abused and lost my girl because of it. I have had a ton of bad traumatized life. It is too fast, and I hate my mental issues, so I keep to myself. I choose to share love and joy being my very silly self. 😅 Girl, this has to be the most joyful video. Time is so much faster as we get older. I have my soul mate 11 years ago this year. 😊❤ He does not want kids, and I can't have any. 😊❤ I'm 58 anyhow. Hahaha.
I have always been like you, haven't ever wanted kids or didn't even want to be around babies at all growing up. I'm 34 now and am still happily childless. So much so that my husband just got a vasectomy. I'm still super happy with my decision and have no regrets. If I do end up changing my mind, I will adopt since there are MANY children without parents. I'm glad you are happy with your choice though!
I'm glad you shared, Thank you!
Y’all be a real amazing mom!
LOVE the finished eye look!! Ardell wispy lashes for the WIN all day!! Oh yeah no one but me and my grandmother touched my first born - but by the time I had the second one, I'd give her to the delivery guy if I could ROFL
LOL! I've since let myself relax about it! hahaha --just a bit 😁
You are a beautiful and amazing mother! I love watching your makeup videos. 🥰
I also didn't want to have my own kids. I wanted to adopt. But life is strange. I had my kids, and they mean the world too me. And being a mother makes me be a better teacher. I love my students like my own children❤
Hey Patty this video really hit me hard but also in a good way, my nan was my most favorite person in the world I had my daughter at 19 even my friends thought I would be a crappy mum because I had no interest for similar reasons and I did wonder if I was doing the right thing, now she's 18 and she's the most beautiful caring amazing human and I don't know how I would ever live without her. I love that you made this video I hope your wee girl brings you just as much joy as mine has ❤
This story is so relatable. !!!
I couldn't have a baby when I was young and first married at 18. For 10 years we tried everything but no baby. My 2nd husband who already had 2 daughters, we discussed before getting married having a child but I was over 35 and I was afraid of something being wrong with a child, we decided not to chance it. I was fully aware that it was my last chance of being mother. I am happy with my husband of many years. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story with us, Patty. I love the makeup videos, but I love hearing about your life, too. So happy you're happy with your decision to become a mom. ❤
My husband and I never wanted kids. It was more of 'if it happens, it happens'. But I was leaning towards not having kids because I never connected to other kids and they annoyed me lol. But we decided that it's better to have a child then to regret not having a child. So at 37 yrs old we had our first daughter. And 7 months later, I got pregnant with our second daughter. She is now almost 3 months old. They are 15 months apart. And I love it. It's the best decision we've ever made. The love is indescribable. And I always thought that I would miss my old life of freedom, but I don't. I look forward to spending time with them. I am much happier even though I am more tired now 😂
I never got married or have kids, as I never wanted to since I was a kid, and it never actually changed even after reaching my 30s. But a lot of my friends have kids and families. I never agreed to marriage and always ended relationships because I never wanted kids, so I decided to just stay single. I was never close to my family, everyone is divorced or having affairs, and my parents have a meh relationship to the point Im surprised they aren’t divorced but due to financial reasons did not. So my image of marriage, family and kids is very negative and clouded.
I am the opposite...I was the kid that wanted to do everything with babies...hold them, feed, change etc....but I never wanted my own children. At 41 and been married for 24 yrs....and I am happy with that choice. Love that you have embraced motherhood and all it has to offer. Much love to you.
We drove from Fl to Ca to meet our new 7 mo old granddaughter .
My son is 36 and his girlfriend is 38 . Never thought they wanted a baby either.
They use an app for nap time ,feeding , playtime etc , all that . We laughed about it! 36 years ago we winged it , when the baby cried we figured out what to do !
But I have to say she is the happiest baby , never cried . They moved on to the next thing the app said before she had a chance to cry !!!! lol
I rarely comment, but I love that you broached this subject. When you said "I still don't like babies, other people's babies" it made me smile because that's everyone! I don't hate children/babies, but if they're not mine, I don't enjoy them. 😂 You can't explain to someone how it feels different to have your own child, it has to be experienced!
I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but I did not have that maternal instinct like you mentioned, either. I never wanted to hold
Other people’s babies or play with the babies…. But I did want my own. Then when I was pregnant with my first, my sister was shocked! What?! You?!!! She said she never pictured me as the motherly type. That kind of hurt my feelings. But I loved being a mom. I wanted to have 4. Then after I had my 2nd, she was such a handful. Into everything and climbed on everything and so fussy and particular about things. I decided two was plenty, lol. But absolutely love my two girls. I’d always pick to do it again. They’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. But, I still don’t like holding other peoples babies that much or oooing and awe-ing over other peoples babies.
yess camera settings are on point!! 😃 and thank you for sharing your story
Thank you for this video. I always wanted children. I have three. Being a Mom definitely has it challenges. My husband left me for another woman, I have been a single Mom for 5 years now. Having my children with me actually helped my healing from the pain of being left for another woman. I also have medical issues, so getting pregnant was not easy. My Doctor was surprised that I ended up having 3 children. For me personally my greatest achievement in my life is my children. No matter what else I do nothing will ever replace that. I almost lost my life recently, things happen unexpectedly so every day with my children is a gift.
I am the same with babies. I do not like other people’s babies. They are cute and all, but I never felt like holding them and whatever. With my daughter it’s so amazing! Like I could never see myself without having her. But I do not want another one. One is enough. ❤I was very scared before giving birth that I would not connect with her.
LOVE listening to you on being a mom. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💖💖