Addicted to therapy? | ep.210
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- Опубліковано 14 чер 2024
- This week licensed therapist Kati Morton explains how we can discover our true self, if CPTSD is a lifelong struggle, and why we can want our therapist to worry about us. She also talks about whether or not we can develop an addiction to psychotherapy and why being pampered as a child can cause us to feel helpless a lot. Finally, she helps us figure out how to support people with dependent personality disorder without enabling them.
01:05 Ask Kati Anything ep.210 podcast summary
01:42 How can you discover your true self? In my last therapy session, we discovered just how much I get my self-worth, and feelings of love and appreciation, from helping others. Helping around the house, overworking, generally never sitting down to enjoy my own time. I'm now at the point that I don't know who I am or what I like. How do you start to figure out your true self?
08:38 With medication, therapy twice a week, and EMDR, will you continue to have C-PTSD symptoms for the rest of your life? Does it ever get to a point where you completely resolve most, if not all, of your symptoms and not require therapy and medication, or, is this a life sentence?
13:02 I want my therapist to worry about me. I wish I could tell her this straight up. But if I do, she'll stop worrying about me. It's like.... Love (I guess?) I've never received and to be honest... I enjoy it. But. There's a huge "BUT." Me making her more and more worried to her as a therapist essentially means that therapy she's providing is not working, right? And that she can and actually should terminate me. Right?!? Which is my biggest worry. That she's gonna leave me. And then my little mind comes up with "Whatever, I'm unlovable anyways so it's fine. I'd leave me too if I was her. I'm not worthy of love. I'm just a pain in the ass and she puts up with me only because I pay her." And then there comes a point where I want to push her away because I've come up with "she doesn't love me so there's no point to get sicker", which to her probably seems like I'm getting better. And. Then she wants (actually suggests but in my mind it translates to "wants") to reduce our sessions from twice a week to only once. And to me it means that she's actually gonna leave because I'm worrying her less. Not more. Such a great mind fuckery. Sorry. It is though. And then I want to get sicker again. Oh. I have anorexia. I don't think I mentioned it anywhere. Is there a way to stop this?
19:57 Is it possible to develop an addiction to psychotherapy? I think I might have it, because I don't have any other safe places where I can express my emotions, or be me. Unfortunately, despite my efforts, it's not always possible to live in a happy environment, or leave it. (COMMENT: Or at what point are we going because we like it, not because we need it?)
25:10 Hi Kati. Could you please talk about learned helplessness due to having been spoiled and pampered as a child? I can't get myself to be active and struggle to feel responsible for my own life. Thank you so much!
30:16 Hi Kati I’m probably too late to the show…. But I know you read all of these comments. Could you talk about how family members can love and support people with dependent personality disorder without enabling them? Where is the line from support to enabling??
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Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
Kati! I have a question.
My therapist says that I am resisting therapy, as if refusing to get better. It’s debilitating to hear, especially because my previous therapist of 5 years also said that to me (I am 26). She at least understands it’s not entirely a conscious decision of mine and also brought to light that I have issues with emotion regulation and awareness. I also battle with undiagnosed anxiety and depression (hence the emotional numbness), though undiagnosed. Can you recommend any practices/thought patterns on how to overcome these obstacles, so that I can reap the therapy benefits and actually become a better version of myself? Thanks for everything!
Thank you so so much for answering my question (question number 3).
Now I have better understanding how to bring this up to my next therapist... If there will be one.
Because... In those 2 weeks between your post asking for questions and this video I did tell her that I want her to worry about me, because it did drive me crazy. And she dropped me saying she already knew it and was waiting for me to come to this realization and it is in fact unethical of me to play such games in therapy.
Maybe it's better this way. She offered psyco-analitic style of therapy, which is popular in Europe. No goals. No skills. No tools. Nothing. Takes soon long. We saw each other for 3 years. We just... Talked and cried. Not really therapeutic, it feels like there was no point of this "therapy".
And I have mentioned that I'd like to be assessed for BPD but every therapist I've seen have said that I'm "too normal" to have BPD. I know I struggle with a lot of it's traits and the nearest therapist providing DBT is 4h drive away, actually in a different country, but she would be able to see me.
Is it worth it though?
Maybe try the DBT therapist for a certain number of sessions and then decide if you feel like it is worth the drive. Good luck (and I'm sorry your old therapist just dropped you like that.)
This video was perfect timing ! ❤
I used to blame myself a lot but when I went to couple of therepy sessions I realised that It was because of emotional neglecte and abuse.
This makes sense. I'm definitely leaving myself vulnerable. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your knowledge!
So glad I found this video really answered many of my questions.
I have been on meds for 3 months now.
I was diagnosed with ADD
For me medicine worked like a wonder.
I also have depression that is something I always struggled with even from a young age.
Kati Morton .I can completely understand and relate to this it's important I do often ask myself these questions what would I want what would I want to do instead of always saying us❤❤
We're wired for connection as humans. Its common for people to feel attached to a 1 Sided therapeutic relationship.
Thank you so much Kati
I'm second to come here, your videos have helped me a lot ❤️
Yup, that makes sense 😮 thanks!
Thanks so much, love our "chats" ❤
AKA&OTDM podcast:hello Kati I am back here listening and watching your podcasts and finding comfort in this I have missed these ❤️❤️
Thank you.
Dear Kati,
I discovered you videos lately and love them. I was wondering were I can ask you my question so that it might be answered by you?
Thank a lot!
Under the community tap 😊
Help!
What do you do when?....
You live with an older relative. As they continue getting older, they seem more and more concerned about keeping everything "orderly". However--
That makes us immediately think of OCD, right? But this, is not about repeated handwashing, or checking things, or counting. Now its more of a concern about more frequent housekeeping, and being abkle to lift up or re-arrange furniture because of a fear of "dustmites" and maybe getting sick. It gets worse--
Not only is it the inside of the house, but its also about the outside Yard.
We have the 2nd nicest yard in the neighborhood! The people in "1st place" have TWO people w/great incomes/retirements, so they have much more $$$$ they can spend on landscaping, fertilizing, etc. so it isnt really a fair fight, but even with that, they are only "a little ahead" of us. Our yard is fine! NO shame. But--
It seems as if the wanting it be "orderly" never ends. I feel as if its good enough. We can take pride in it.
My brother comes down. He is a total workaholic/perfectionist w/HIS yard. He visits, and ends up convincing Mom that there is all this stuff that "needs" to be done. She appreciates his energy (i think its darn-near an obsession) and I get viewed as lazy and he "cares" more than i do. But i feel that they dont grasp the difference between "Good enough to be nice" and perfection. I am already fearing as more time goes by that things will get even more OCD-like about all this and i will be the bad-guy or "odd man out". How would you cope with all this? Anyone? Is there a video addressing this?
The question with the therapist wanting to worryand then don't and then feel guilty! That's me too, I want someone to care about me but then again I don't want her to because I care about her so I don't open up so She won't worry or report me and one after the other! I feel like a burden on her and I feel really sad and horrible! I self harm and I hurt myself when I'm anger
Does anyone know what brand those headphones are?
Where did you mention about CPTSD? I don’t see you mention it as stated in the description. Did I just miss it?
The question about it starts at 08:38 she addresses it after.
Hi Kati, I have a significant sexual trauma history. I’ve been working with my therapist for over 5 years and I still feel like I can’t trust her. Cognitively, I KNOW I can trust her but emotionally it still feels so unsafe and I am scared. Do you have any advice on how I can better manage this? I’ve brought it up in session already and it was very difficult. She has been so consistent and supportive so I feel awful that my emotion isn’t aligning with what I know in my head to be true. Hope this makes sense! Thank you
Tips for people who are not the favorite child?
Interesting topic 👍 I haven't seen the full video yet but I'd like to share a bit regarding this topic.
I've been in therapy for almost 15 years now and it's gonna be really really hard when the approved sessions will be over (I think this year or next year.) Unfortunately, my recent therapy didn't go as I hoped/intended. A few months after we started, I became severely ill with a physical illness and this has been overshadowing everything ever since.
A lot of tools that I've learned for my mental health aren''t possible anymore due to my physical health (e.g. skills, sports).
I am really scared of the day of my last session. Farewell situation trigger me a lot because I've been abandoned (adoption) and neglected as a child. With my first therapist I didn't even go to my last session 🙈 With my trauma therapist I did at least say goodbye in person, but I was like a roboter... I wasn't really there... I'm afraid it came across as if I were unfriendly but that wasn't my intention at all. I was simply overwhelmed. With y third therapist I've been doing video calls since the pandemic started and I only have sessions every 2-3 weeks so I hope that this will make the transition a bit easier. I wish I could be the one to decide when its enough.
But one thing is certain, if it ends, I'm not gonna look for someone else again. I can't start at 0 again and due to being bedbound 98 % of the day because of my severe physical illness, I wouldn't be able to see a new therapist anyway. I am not mobile. I have a mobility impairment and a sitting disability among other things.
There was a time wherre I thought I was doing much better and learnt so much from therapy. But right now I feel worse than ever. I don't even dare to say it out loud because it seems then all these years were for nothing.
I just wish I could travel back in time... 🙈
I did that but it backfired
Tips for someone 71 who feels like their life is over?
im addicted to self help which didnt help lol .. great vid [ im a momma's boy ]
Wait😊
First!
It's kind of funny to see how modern practices in therapy become more internally inconsistent. On the other hand it's getting more and more popular to use mindfulness in therapy and on the other hand this "search for TRUE self".Mindfulness is a road to ultimate realisation of a liberating concept which tells us that self is just an illusion. Self is not real and it's just a story created by very loud, but not the wisest part of our mind. So, is there something in reality as grandiose as TRUE self?...
Didn't watch this video yet but from the title I should say no I hate making appointments from the deep down. They're not meeting our needs.
Edit:- I'm in Sri Lanka. I don't know how it's going in America.
I am disappointed with therapy, disappointed with all the therapists I've seen during the past 6 years of total uselessness, I am disappointed of myself for not being able to level up if I may say it like that.
Pure, intense, and deep disappointment of everything I see, ear, say, and feel.
Is it weird if I slept with my therapist?
That could definitely leave you more confused and probably feeling abandoned if they ditched you after or led you on. Why would you do that in the first place?
Sorry, I'm not telling you how to feel. I'm just speculating because in that position someone crossed a line, not professional at all.
@@syzygy4365 it sort of just happened. I felt vulnerable. We don't talk about it though.
I want to disappear
first again!! hi kati i can't wait to listen 🫂