That's what I'm saying! The very mainstream belief fighting is normal in relationships is actual lunacy to me, has been for years. Disagree, talk it out, but don't argue. People thinking not fighting must mean going along with whatever your SO says are nuts. You can hate conflict and yet still have opinions and boundaries, like??
I don't argue. I just tell it how it is. For me if im mad at you, I have to have definitive proof in my mind as to why im mad at you. I'll bring up my findings. You can deny it idc but all imma say is do it again and we're done. Like you said lets work together on compromises and we can flourish. I respect your boundaries and you respect mine, if that can't be done what's there to argue about? I can just leave because I love myself and my peace way too much. There is an end to everything, cherish the good times.
I’ve been in a few long term relationships, between 3-5 years, and I can count the number of arguments or fights I’ve had on one hand. And none of those arguments led to a breakup. And the breakups I did have were amicable. Like, we were still roommates for 5 years amicable. It’s so easy to just listen and compromise. All that yelling and hostility is so draining. I can’t imagine living like that on the regular.
I hate yellers. My mom is a yeller and I can’t even tolerate having a relationship with her anymore. Even though? I have my moments still where I can fly off the handle a bit. And get worked up and passionate myself and my voice? Can get loud. I also have bad hearing. I don’t try to yell and I try to catch myself even. But I don’t appreciate when people take my bad hearing and riled up emotions? As yelling and I actually go out of my way to try really hard to not yell. And I have learnt to control myself best in my 30’s. Than I ever have been in my whole entire life and learning patience as a parent.. I can’t tolerate relationships that involve a lot of yelling with people anymore and I can not tolerate anyone around me yelling. I just try my best to avoid it altogether now. I am big on communication and talking. But I notice that I only fall back into the habit of yelling and snapping back at people: when I’m around people that still seem to possess the habit. But I have tried my best to learn to walk away and come back later, preferably when it’s calmer. And re approach in a calmer state, myself. And then just try to talk. Years of therapy and discussing this and working on strategies to best approach? Help a lot.
Yeah, this advice works less with your parents because you choose your partner or friend and can select someone who isn't toxic, but when family is toxic, there's not much you can do about it. Which is why I think it's always rich when people talk as if family is all you need. Yeah, maybe if you were born into a sane one.
@ fr! You can’t pick your family, fs. I don’t even blame people always when they just can’t with their family anymore. I get it. I learnt in this last year even? My mother? Has been villainizing me for something I did at age 3 and I can’t even honestly remember even doing. She’s just decided I’m a write off. Ever since then. And not worth any investment into. I now have 4 children and I give them everything I can. My parents never gave me much and gave up on me at 14 and kicked me out. I have their only grand children, they complain about always not having a better relationship with. And I tried after kids. I really did. But my mother just can’t seem to help herself. She’s now 67. And she won’t stop yelling or being physically violent. And I’ve tried really hard to protect my kids their whole lives from anyone like that. But apparently? That makes me the bad guy. Funny how we don’t have any of these anger and violence problems, when these people are removed. However. But I’m Always the bad guy..
@@srealone788 Same thing here, I'm such a docile person with everyone while my mother burns bridges everywhere she goes and so I'm the problem somehow, because I've manipulated them and she's just "honest." Okay, how convenient for you that you acting like a lunatic is honest and me being normal is a ruse. They're martyrs who think they have license to do whatever and you need be the good daughter/son who is obedient. If that's parental love I want no part, and I'm very sorry for those abysmal experiences of yours.
@@bespectacledheroine7292 my situation is like the opposite in a sense because my mom is so fake. And I normally attract people with my authenticity. But I’m not rude. Unlike her. She’s 67 and gossips about people like she’s 16 and she doesn’t even usually have people pegged right; either. It’s really embarrassing. She’s super judgemental. I’m the friend that doesn’t judge and I’m nice to anyone that’s nice to me. I’m only savage to people that are mean first. Because I don’t like bullies. I bully bullies. LOL I have a way better relationship with my kids however. And they’re now ages 8-13. Sadly they don’t have much of a relationship with their grand parents. All sides really. Whole lot of mental illness, substance abuse and dv.. it used to be my normal growing up all my Life and I had kids with 2 of my childhood bffs that actually remind me a lot of my mother. Now. I figured out through therapy that I think I was always seeking the validation, love and approval I could never get from my mom? Through men. Unfortunately I couldn’t figure that out until after having my eldest. Who I feel like taught me what love actually was. I never really understood it before him. Relationships are hard. People claim to have so much respect for people that are good parents and put their kids first and I’ve done that with my kids their whole life. My whole world literally revolves around them. But ironically? Everyone hates me for that now. My youngest’s dad even used to hold that against me. That apparently he’s jealous that I love my kids more than him. Like that’s a bad thing? And has led me to remain single for over 8 years now and it’s hard trying to date or let anyone new in. Idk. People are crazier than ever these days. I don’t really have anyone else anymore but my kids. Most days I’m okay with that though. I just sometimes hate it for them. And feel bad that they don’t have more people that care about them. Or that they matter to more. Like they matter to me.
Sometimes it isn't even that one bad thing will directly mess up other things, sometimes it's also that one bad thing might make someone mad, so then they think less clearly, and then because they aren't thinking clearly they will cause another bad thing, and then the cycle just repeats over and over again.
This is exactly why I’m subbed. Buddy cooked again. I’m so glad that some other people see anger as a useless emotion too. It took me a hot minute to get control over it but now I feel so much better. Now I just need to find me a freaky Goth mommy with that patience 😈
i have the oppisite problem.. im to calm when i should be angry . lol people get mad when you should react with anger and you dont care . example i lose my dads wallet him wtf i have never lost my wallet,, me just replace all the stuff in it . another example your such a mooch a leech and i dont have to pay for anything. lol on and on
Don’t get used to this editing style this is an old video I made like 10 months ago
It was really kinda cool tho! For my ADHD brain! 😂
was boutta say
Hey Ceros I've got a question, when is it "ok" to throw a punch?
damn😔
I kinda like it more tbh…😢
That's what I'm saying! The very mainstream belief fighting is normal in relationships is actual lunacy to me, has been for years. Disagree, talk it out, but don't argue. People thinking not fighting must mean going along with whatever your SO says are nuts. You can hate conflict and yet still have opinions and boundaries, like??
its called debating rather than arguing and fighting
@@samuraiboy18t7 I'm definitely pro debate. 😎
this video has honestly helped me a lot, coming back to rewatch and send my gratitude
I don't argue. I just tell it how it is. For me if im mad at you, I have to have definitive proof in my mind as to why im mad at you. I'll bring up my findings. You can deny it idc but all imma say is do it again and we're done. Like you said lets work together on compromises and we can flourish. I respect your boundaries and you respect mine, if that can't be done what's there to argue about? I can just leave because I love myself and my peace way too much. There is an end to everything, cherish the good times.
👏👏👏👏
I’ve been in a few long term relationships, between 3-5 years, and I can count the number of arguments or fights I’ve had on one hand. And none of those arguments led to a breakup. And the breakups I did have were amicable. Like, we were still roommates for 5 years amicable.
It’s so easy to just listen and compromise. All that yelling and hostility is so draining. I can’t imagine living like that on the regular.
I hate yellers. My mom is a yeller and I can’t even tolerate having a relationship with her anymore. Even though? I have my moments still where I can fly off the handle a bit. And get worked up and passionate myself and my voice? Can get loud. I also have bad hearing. I don’t try to yell and I try to catch myself even. But I don’t appreciate when people take my bad hearing and riled up emotions? As yelling and I actually go out of my way to try really hard to not yell. And I have learnt to control myself best in my 30’s. Than I ever have been in my whole entire life and learning patience as a parent..
I can’t tolerate relationships that involve a lot of yelling with people anymore and I can not tolerate anyone around me yelling. I just try my best to avoid it altogether now.
I am big on communication and talking. But I notice that I only fall back into the habit of yelling and snapping back at people: when I’m around people that still seem to possess the habit.
But I have tried my best to learn to walk away and come back later, preferably when it’s calmer. And re approach in a calmer state, myself. And then just try to talk.
Years of therapy and discussing this and working on strategies to best approach? Help a lot.
Yeah, this advice works less with your parents because you choose your partner or friend and can select someone who isn't toxic, but when family is toxic, there's not much you can do about it. Which is why I think it's always rich when people talk as if family is all you need. Yeah, maybe if you were born into a sane one.
@ fr! You can’t pick your family, fs. I don’t even blame people always when they just can’t with their family anymore. I get it.
I learnt in this last year even? My mother? Has been villainizing me for something I did at age 3 and I can’t even honestly remember even doing. She’s just decided I’m a write off. Ever since then. And not worth any investment into.
I now have 4 children and I give them everything I can. My parents never gave me much and gave up on me at 14 and kicked me out. I have their only grand children, they complain about always not having a better relationship with. And I tried after kids. I really did. But my mother just can’t seem to help herself. She’s now 67. And she won’t stop yelling or being physically violent. And I’ve tried really hard to protect my kids their whole lives from anyone like that. But apparently? That makes me the bad guy.
Funny how we don’t have any of these anger and violence problems, when these people are removed. However. But I’m
Always the bad guy..
@@srealone788 Same thing here, I'm such a docile person with everyone while my mother burns bridges everywhere she goes and so I'm the problem somehow, because I've manipulated them and she's just "honest." Okay, how convenient for you that you acting like a lunatic is honest and me being normal is a ruse. They're martyrs who think they have license to do whatever and you need be the good daughter/son who is obedient. If that's parental love I want no part, and I'm very sorry for those abysmal experiences of yours.
@@bespectacledheroine7292 my situation is like the opposite in a sense because my mom is so fake. And I normally attract people with my authenticity. But I’m not rude. Unlike her. She’s 67 and gossips about people like she’s 16 and she doesn’t even usually have people pegged right; either. It’s really embarrassing. She’s super judgemental. I’m the friend that doesn’t judge and I’m nice to anyone that’s nice to me. I’m only savage to people that are mean first. Because I don’t like bullies. I bully bullies. LOL
I have a way better relationship with my kids however. And they’re now ages 8-13. Sadly they don’t have much of a relationship with their grand parents. All sides really. Whole lot of mental illness, substance abuse and dv..
it used to be my normal growing up all my
Life and I had kids with 2 of my childhood bffs that actually remind me a lot of my mother. Now. I figured out through therapy that I think I was always seeking the validation, love and approval I could never get from my mom? Through men. Unfortunately I couldn’t figure that out until after having my eldest. Who I feel like taught me what love actually was. I never really understood it before him.
Relationships are hard. People claim to have so much respect for people that are good parents and put their kids first and I’ve done that with my kids their whole life. My whole world literally revolves around them. But ironically? Everyone hates me for that now. My youngest’s dad even used to hold that against me. That apparently he’s jealous that I love my kids more than him. Like that’s a bad thing? And has led me to remain single for over 8 years now and it’s hard trying to date or let anyone new in.
Idk. People are crazier than ever these days.
I don’t really have anyone else anymore but my kids. Most days I’m okay with that though. I just sometimes hate it for them. And feel bad that they don’t have more people that care about them. Or that they matter to more. Like they matter to me.
Sometimes it isn't even that one bad thing will directly mess up other things, sometimes it's also that one bad thing might make someone mad, so then they think less clearly, and then because they aren't thinking clearly they will cause another bad thing, and then the cycle just repeats over and over again.
Nailed it ONCE AGAIN!
you're a top tier tuber bro
This is exactly why I’m subbed. Buddy cooked again. I’m so glad that some other people see anger as a useless emotion too. It took me a hot minute to get control over it but now I feel so much better. Now I just need to find me a freaky Goth mommy with that patience 😈
This is a peak video good sir🎉 congrats on you
1:27 this why I'm subscribed, im not here because i think youre sane 😂
Love this video.
What is the backround song you always use in your videos? I want to add it to one of my music playlists it’s pretty relaxing
We're cooked I genuinely thought that us not fighting was a red flag 💀
bro needs to be a family therapist
Medical grade realness
Fire video❤
77.7k peak
Respect 💯
i have the oppisite problem.. im to calm when i should be angry . lol people get mad when you should react with anger and you dont care . example i lose my dads wallet him wtf i have never lost my wallet,, me just replace all the stuff in it . another example your such a mooch a leech and i dont have to pay for anything. lol on and on
i personally love you for your world views
How do I talk to you bro? Like how do I actually get in contact with you and have a conversation?
All love, you just remind me of a best friend I never had.
I’m usually on discord
Single life is best 😁😁😁😁
new editing style?
Hey, i see you changing up your videos 😉
Nah this a old video don’t get used to this lmfao
@CerosTelevision damn "better late then never" ahh video 😭
Third possibly
First
second