My husband married me for him, not for his family, friends, nor relatives. This guy sound like the problem. Sound like he didn’t really love his first wife.
Na I agree with he said. I saw it in my own eye. We do got one in our family. We stop going to their family function because it all about her family not his family.
I’ve been married to my husband for 25 years, there are just some family members you never see. Those are the ones that do stuff and no one goes help. Respect goes both ways and so does showing up to help. As a husband you also got to do your part.
True, but the truth and evidence is in how both their new lives are. He has a good new life, she doesn't. That says a lot about whether he's jus blaming the ex to feel good or if there's some truth to what he said.
Tus txiv tsev koj yuam kev lawm os. Kuv tus no na pab neeg 1000 zaus twb suav tsis txheeb lawm txog kuv thib muaj ib co kwv tij tseem tsis xav tuaj pab kuv thiab na. Tsis tim koj poj niam os, tim koj xwb. Ua cas nim tuaj khav theeb ua luaj li os, muab 10 xyoo rau lub neej xwb os yeej yuav muaj phem xwb xwb nawb, tsis ntseeg saib mus mas. Xiam tiag tiag tus thaub no
I am the same way, I have no one ever show up at any of my events, I always go and help other,but when I do something, no one shows up, I am done with people
I think Hmong people find so so so many reasons not to help. Bad wife, orphans, education, wealth, not married the list goes on. If I married a man I married to start my own family. Not to take care of everyone else’s family. No matter how much we do for our spouses it’s never good enough. He just wants a title. The good wives get cheated on as well. So this guy just trying not to feel guilty.
Yeap..my husband and help at all funeral and eating. At the end, no one came to our son wedding. My while family came. His only a few came. But we don't care. Some people all they care for is money and titles. No need to please anyone.
I agree with this guy. There are some women like this one who only care for her side of family and never love her husband side of family. I seen it before.
Why can't the woman love her side and the husband love his side? Why do hmong ppl always expect the wives to love his family as her own, yet not expect the husband to do the same for her family? You married each other, not the family. She should be able to love her family without guilt. Same goes for him. Hmong ppl need to stop with the nonsense of keeping a tally of how much the wife does for her husband's side vs. her side.
Hmong people give and expect something back…this story is about how Hmoob people live, Hmong only give and help others because they were first got helped and received money. Hmong people will never give to a specific person because they never got anything from that person.
👏👏👏 facts! The greed, can’t ever do anything out of their kind heart with no expectation. The ones that love you most (spouse and children) are the only ones that will be impacted. Even if others love you, their lives will go back and function normally again. You shouldn’t live your life according to how the Hmong community judges you. Live your life according to the one true judge in heaven.
My old man told me these wise words before he passed away. His words "Neej tsa koj yog tus tiam thiab khiav, kwvtij yog koj tus pojniam tiam thiab khiav nawb mog." Got me cratched my head.
Hmong is all about connection and politics. If you’re a no name individual, don’t matter how much you slave you’re a nobody. To make it in this day and age you gotta have money, status and thick face. Otherwise welcome to the other side.
@@hummingbyrde very true too. The sad thing is that even if u help out everyone, it doesn't mean they will help u back too. I used to always go early to help my families, but when it was my turn, they didn't show up til 10am. Ever since then i stop going early bc i know ppl won't do for me what I'm willing to do for them.
Kuv tus no kuv mus kwv mus tij , kuv Mus txog kuv yeej tsis lam Mus zaum, kuv mus khwv thaum pib txog thaum xaus los tseem muaj tej tug niam tsev tseem tsis nyiam kuv qees. Kuv tus txiv ces mus txog kwv tij Lis nws mus ua mai zaum ncauj mas ntsa zaj, yog nws mus ua pluas noj nws tsis paub ua qab luag tej niam tsev twb tsis nyiam nws Mus kov ces kuv kom nws txhob Mus kov lawv tej khoom noj cia lawv mam ua lawv tabsis Kuv mas mus pab ua yam kuv pab tau, mus ntxuav Lauj kaub tais duav thaum pib txog thaum xaus. Mus neej tsa los kuv mus, kuv Tus txiv ces mus neej tsa los Mus ua ncauj mas ntsa zaj, ncauj mas puam suab khaws tes taw tuag zawv kuv lub neej yeej tsis txog twg thiab. Qhov zoo ces Tus txiv tsev yuav tsum yog Tus muaj peev xwm ua taus, noj taus , hais taus txhob nyob poj niam qab tiab thiab yuav tsum txawj coj , txawj hais thiab txhob ua ncauj puam suab khaws tes taw tuag zawv thiab yuav tsum tau Tus poj niam coj zoo rau ob tog , txhob yog ua zoo rau nws neej nws tsav xwb.
Just be happy for him with no questions ask just like the other stories… I would’ve love to hear from all the other stories from the guys prospectives too
Tim koj tus poj niam yeej yog neeg siab me nplaum.80% yog tim koj tsis cob nws ua noj ua haus tsis cob qhia thaum 3 tag kis vim koj yuav mos y 14 xyoo los koj tsis cob.yus xav kom tau ib tug poj niam zoo yus yuav tau qhia kom nws ua yog nws ua tsis tau koj mam blame nws
We as a woman and housewife, we should know what our role and duties are among our family/relatives. Stop blaming him, it’s the wife who is siab me and can not serve both side of the family. She favor her side and it is true that some women are siab me tiag if you have not seen any you won’t know. She did unto herself only. I know there are 2 sides of the story but if she’s that good of an ex-wife then why would her 2nd husband send her back. Think about it!!
I agree! I personally know some people like the wife in this story. You should put your family you create first, but you must also learn how to balance both sides of the families. If there are no compromises in a relationship then why be married? Some women marry into the families and will literally take the words, “I married you for you and not for your family”, very literally no matter how introvert or shy someone is. If you don’t like or attempt to get along with his family then there’s no point to marry him.
To me, those are the words of a person with siab me. You shouldn't expect anything in return when you give. When you help where you can, instead of going out of your way to help, you won't feel bad if people don't show up to help.
@@christysvang7248 that's a wishy washy way of thinking and won't last in real life. No one is willing to give give and give all the times and not expect anything back and will be happy with it. If u give and help here and there with random ppl then i can understand not expecting anything back. But if it's the same people, same families, eventually u will get tired of it.
I wouldn’t want to be around family who talked down on me or encourage my husband to go find someone else anyways! I’m sorry but I help those who help me and no one pay for my bills so don’t tell me what to do or who I have to pleased. As long as our close family is taking care of that’s all it matter
The biggest flaw in the Hmong community is that people are always keeping count of names and the number of times they show up for anything. Why can't people just lend a hand for help sake and stop with the nonsense of tallying? Why tu siab that people don't show up for you? The show must go on, so you just appreciate the people who do show up. There is no need to keep a huge circle and keep a tally. Just keep to your own and show up where you can. No need to impress anybody... less headache.
😊 I applaud you for sharing such an inspiration story, we needed more of this kind of stories. I am glad to hear you are happy and married your soul mate.
Lol sounds like the problem was your kwvtij 😂. Nej yog cov hmoob cob tub sav? Kuv xac mas koj tsis xav hlub koj tus 1st wife xwb os, yus didn't provide enough reason to divorce her. Sounded like you wanted to please and marry your kwvtij instead 😅. The only thing I hear and can put together is that koj siab me es koj hlub tsis taus koj cov neejtsa but lawv thiaj yog cov nav thwm thiab tuaj koj xwb ne???
Not always true. The men go and they usually talk. They don't do the work. It's the women that do the work. So if his wife didn't show up to help other women, they know and see. And when it's her turn, that's why they didn't go help her.
@Listening_Snow LOL, your probably right because we are talking about hmong people. My husband is not hmong. Woman do very little cooking and wife does have to always come to be appropriate.
Because he needs her to go work while he mingles with the men. Men need to help out too instead of only women because cooking is both’s responsibility.
@@heysoniher yes bc most men jus mingle like u said. But it's not his fault bc it has been like this for a long time. So now u can't blame him for just mingling and not doing the work and expecting his wife to go help the women. Our culture has been doing this for thr longest so if u wanna blame, blame on the norm and everyone for accepting this norm. Now, if he goes and helps the women even when his wife isn't there, would that be appropriate? Bc like so many of u guys said, he needs to help the cousins and not jus mingle around. So let's say if he goes to help out the cousins and does all the work that supposedly his wife was supposed to do, then how does that make him look good in u guys' eyes? If then would u guys have said he is a good husband and does his share of work?
He can't win in this. It's like damn if u do, damn if u don't. If he doesn't go help out cousins, no one will come help him. If he goes and mingles, then ppl say he's only there to mingle. If he helps out the women (bc women do most of the chores at events) then he'll be called a whipped and wearing the skirt. That's why it's best if his wife goes so she could help out the ladies and he could help out the men. If u don't like the way this works then be the change and change the whole system.
This just means that his wife is the sucess behind his marriage. He doesn't do much for the woman he is married too. And hes a man, can he not go to fhe gatherings without his wife lol. You have to take accountability for your your own actions. Because your family blamed you as well.
Yog yus yov ua twmtswb thiab coj raws li twmtswb. Ces tsis tas Yus yov caw kwv tij zej zog tuaj koom. Txawm txog hnub yus tus kheej tuag los, yus yeej tsis nrog leej twg sab laj hlo. Yus cia li tuag li twm tswb tuag xwb tiag. Yus tuag thaum twg ces cia li Xa ncaj qha tim hoomaum los rau tom qha ntxa ces faus kiag xwb mam li los ua memorial tom tsev xwb. Ho muaj dab tsi thiab.
Tus txiv tsev koj hais tias koj rov ua koj lub neej kaj kaj siab, koj tus poj niam yuav koj nws puas kaj kaj siab li koj thiab na, tsam koj tus me poj niam twb tsis kaj siab, tiam sis nws tsis xav kom lub neej puas dua zaum 2 nws thiaj khwv ua txhua yam zoo rau nws tus kheej xwb, mloog koj tham zoo li koj tsis hlub koj tus poj niam li koj tus poj niam hlub koj, koj cia koj tus poj niam ua hauj lwm ntau dhau..koj tsis pab nws koj tsuas qhuas kom koj tus poj niam ua koj qhev xwb
Lol, people who believe this story is too naive. 1. Cos kwv tij paub tab will never tell you to divorce your wife of 20 years. 2. Cos kwv tij paub tab, especially tus leader would never shame anyone even your ex in front of people during your son's wedding. 3. When your mom passed away, cos kev tij yelled at you and said they came bc of your younger brother only. If it was me, I would have thanked them for loving my brother much and walked away. A lot of the details in the story don't add up. This seem like a made up story to shame our Hmong sisters only. Or at least get pay back from all these horrid Hmong men stories. Lol
This story is either fake or the husband is an a--hole. It took him up until his kids are grown and married for him to realize his wife was stingy? For reals dumba--. He probably cheated and blamed her for it. This story is one sided.
Some people put up with rubbish for a long time, just like our Hmong women. I think his wake-up call was when his daughter got married, and no one on his side came to help. I know women like his first wife, they are entitled and think they owe no one. Guess what? You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
I’m not gonna side with this man bc there’s always two sides to the story. Some ppl have anxieties and are introverted, hence the lack of wanting to socialize and be surrounded by lots of people. Maybe there’s some type of mental health that they don’t know how to interpret so they think it’s automatic hatred towards others. I think the marriage could’ve been saved, had they sought counseling.
Niaj hnub no kuv tus txiv yog tus neeg tham2 hluas nkauj thiab tseem nyiag kev mus yuav tau ib niam Hmoob nplog thiab tseem yog ib tug ua hlub tsis tau kuv cov neej tsa ib qhov dab tsi li kuv niam kv txiv tej neej tsav tu siab tag hos nws xav kom kuv ma ua txhua2 yam rau nws niam nws txivnws kwv tij xwb kuv ces niaj hnub no nyuab siab kawg tug txiv siab phem siab me2 li no puas tsis nyog yuav lawm na tsoom phooj ywg
@@maryly09 Nws ua tsis tau txiv. He didn’t take any action to correct his wife, but continued to let her do what she wanted. I’m sure he loved her too much but if he saw how she treated his side of the family he need to be stern and nip that kind of treatment in the bud.
I know some of the women like to focus more on neej tsa NOT kwj tij, i agrée with you brother, cov neeg focus more on neej tsa Tsi tsuam txog twg thiab os
Brother , it's a two-way street. She was only 16 years old, and you're over 20. You should've been in control of the finances, especially when your wife is sorely lacking in kindness and as a wife. Don't lay all the blame on her because you allowed her to.
Koj thiab koj tus txiv los poj niam lub neej tsim txiaj los ntawm koj tsev kwv tij ua ntej tshaj plaws tas mam li kis mus rau lwm cov txheeb ze. Yog koj tsis kam mus pauv lwm tus zog, lwm tus tsis zoo tuaj pauj koj zog rov vim lwm tus twb tsis muaj zog pauj rov. Yog koj mus pauv lwm tus zog noj thiab nyob xwb, lwm tus kuj tsuas tuaj pauj koj zog noj thiab nyob tib yam nkaus thiab xwb. Tsis tas li ntawv los yog koj ho mus pauv lwm tus zog lig, lwm tus kuj tuaj pauj koj zog lig thiab. Tib neeg lub siab yeej coj li no yog feem coob.
Tsis rov yuav poj niam tub nkeeg poj niam siab me lawm lau....Qub neeg qub siab qub dev qub ntxiab xwb yog av tsis lim ces yeej hloov tsis tau. Tab txawm tiam tshiab los tus ntsuj plig tseem yog tus qub thiab xwb.....
She married you when she was 16. It was your fault for not telling her the right way. Tim koj xwb os. Koj siab me ces nws siab me, koj tub nkeeg ces nws tub nkeeg. It’s all on you. Don’t blame her.
Qhov koj ywj koj Tus poj niam es koj hais tsis tau koj poj niam hlub koj tsev neeg ces 1 qho luag hais tias vim koj pw poj niam qab tiab lawm. Koj ntshai nws, koj nyoo nws, koj ua tsis taus txiv, koj hais tsis tau nws, koj tsis noj hnia qees hais kom tau nws. Koj pw nws qab tiab lawm,. Koj cia nws ua txiv lawm ces ua ntau thiab ntau ces nws thiaj muab koj tsuj tsis ntshai koj lawm. Cov txiv neej uas pw poj niam qab tiab hais tsis taus poj niam ces zoo li no los más.
Cias koj tus poj niam tuaj piav nw sab thiab mas. Tej zaum kuj tsis tim nw tag tag thiab. Yog koj tsev neeg tsis nyiam nw ces lawv yuav tsim teeb meem rau neb lub neej.
Vim koj ruam tshaj ruam lawm. Vim koj twb tsis nco tias leej twg tsa ceg es koj tawm los na. Ho koj pojniam li nws hwm tus neeg tsa ceg nws tawm los ne. Cov tub los yog txiv neej zoo li koj ces mus sam ua pojniam nawb.
Nyob zoo os uncle aws, Iam happy for you and your new wife. You don't owe anyone any validation or explanation because you did everything right. You were a good husband to her. You were a good father to your family and also your relatives. Your ex wife is delusional and narcissistic. She took your kindness for weakness, you gave her so many chances and so many choices but she didn't change her ways. Now that she see your life has flourished for the better, she crawls back begging? No, she made her bed let her lay in it.
There are two sides. This is the f'ing problem with Hmong men and hmong culture. The nastiness the jealousy. if you don't do for me I dont do for you if you don't show up I'm not showing up. where is the love for each other. Show the way to be there for people lead righteously if you want to act as a leader. This is why Hmong people fail at everything and family members fight against each other. My father alway said if people don't care and hurt him he will stand his ground but, he will not get even in such a nasty way. He will help out of kindness and not get even in dirty play. sorry there is a reason Hmong men fail in comparison to other cultures. 🎉 to Hmong men it will take 100 years to see a change.
Nws siab me Los koj yog tus txiv yuav tsum siab loj thiab coj koj tus niam tsev ua noj ua haum. Nws tsis mus kwv mus tij Los KOJ yog leej txiv koj yuav tsum mus thiab, but koj Los yeej tsis mus thiab es thiaj li muaj this story to piav and hais. Don't blame your wife but yourself as well.
Zoo siab qhov koj tau 1 tug new super sony wife lawm tab sis koj puas yog 1 tug super sony husband thiab ?hope you love you new spouses neej tsa tib yam koj ntshaw nws hlub koj kwv tij thiab hos
Ok, I don’t get it. Even though your wife didn’t go help, what happen to you as the husband? Stop blaming your wife. At least her family came for her but none of your family came. So dumb.
I agree. Mayb if he made enough money to support his family, she wouldnt have to be so tight with money. His life partner is his wife, not the relatives. His priority should be to feed his family, not have others praise him by showing off to outside family members.
@@mayflower1987 Agreed that his priority should be his family. He pride too much on what others think about him. If she was being unfair in the way she treats his side of the family he needs to put a stop to it but he didn’t. His praising of the second wife sounds condescending to me, like he finally found a maid/slave who is willing to serve him and his clan.
Hard to judge when heard from just one side of the story. Life needs balance, a focused point, the center of gravity, we all need to work around it...a family life and social life. Best wish for you both. Thanks for sharing your story.
Tus brother aw kv los tau 1 niag txiv coj zoo nkaus li kj niag poj niam thiab lub neej zoo li no mas dhuav tiag2 li os dim plaws nws mas tshav ntuj nrig os nrog kj zoo siab yuav tau tus zoo niam tsev os
Txawm koj tus pojniam tsis nyiam tsis khiav kwv tij neej tsa los yog koj khiav lawv ces txog koj lawv yeej yuav tuaj kawg os. Lawv tsis xav rau koj tus pojniam loa lawv yeej txawj txawj xav rau ntawm koj os. Nyias yeej tsuas txawj hus nyiam tus kwj tse xwb os. Im sure ur wife will tell a different story. She's ur children's mother. Learn how to respect each other like grown people
Kuv xav mas koj twb txeeb lawv tus lawm tej zaum thaum ub nws tus niam loj quaj thov koj koj tsis k niam no thiaj npam koj koj thiaj tau quaj ntsuag li nws thiab os sister. Txhob mob siab os yam yus ua lawm ces txawm tus neeg ntawv hais tsis tau los ntuj qis2 lawm npam sai2 li lawm .tiam tam sim no txhua tus yuav tau ua qhov Zoo nawb
Cov niag neeg nkees ces tau tog nrav xwb tsis hais poj niam los yog txiv neej li os tau poj niam nkees ces lawb yuav tus tshiab hos tau txiv nkees ces laj yuav tuag xyov yuav ua li cas os
As a wife, I like to attend event from both sides of the family. Can’t just attend one side only. In this story, the husband allow the wife to do whatever she wants so she only want to attend her side of the family only. It’s both of you at fault.
I attend which ever event I want and don’t when I don’t. I’m not obligated to attend and don’t feel little, when whoever don’t show up to mines. It’s life and it goes on
I agree! Sounds like he spoiled her and allowed her to do whatever she wanted and the first wife sounds like she didn’t like his family or extended family enough to be married to him.
Leejtwg tsis tau ntsib cov neeg qia dub mas leejtwg tsis paub naw. Tus txijnkawm ua li cas los txhaum nws tag naw. Nws yeej tsis pub luag cev ib qho rau luag tsev neeg li aw
My husband married me for him, not for his family, friends, nor relatives. This guy sound like the problem. Sound like he didn’t really love his first wife.
Tsis yog tim poj niam os tim koj tsis txawj coj xwb os hmoob aws
You arent a man, if you are waiting on your wife and want the approval of your relatives. Your ex is the lucky one. Your 2 nd wife must be exhausted.
I’d like to hear the other side too…
Same with all the other stories… Would you agreed???
Same here….
Me too
Na I agree with he said. I saw it in my own eye. We do got one in our family. We stop going to their family function because it all about her family not his family.
I’ve been married to my husband for 25 years, there are just some family members you never see. Those are the ones that do stuff and no one goes help. Respect goes both ways and so does showing up to help.
As a husband you also got to do your part.
ລຊໍຊໍຊ
We humans always have to blame someone to make us feel good 😂! Feel happy 😊whatever!
True, but the truth and evidence is in how both their new lives are. He has a good new life, she doesn't. That says a lot about whether he's jus blaming the ex to feel good or if there's some truth to what he said.
Ua ib tug txiv tsev xav tau poj niam zoo yuav txib nws ua noj ua haus,nws tsis txawj los koj yuav tsum qhia,coj nws mus koom kwv tij,mus txog tom lawv koj yuav tsum txib nwz ua qav ua num.tim koj poj niam 80% tim koj tsis txawj ua txiv txawj cob 20%
Tus txiv tsev koj yuam kev lawm os. Kuv tus no na pab neeg 1000 zaus twb suav tsis txheeb lawm txog kuv thib muaj ib co kwv tij tseem tsis xav tuaj pab kuv thiab na. Tsis tim koj poj niam os, tim koj xwb. Ua cas nim tuaj khav theeb ua luaj li os, muab 10 xyoo rau lub neej xwb os yeej yuav muaj phem xwb xwb nawb, tsis ntseeg saib mus mas. Xiam tiag tiag tus thaub no
😂😂😂😂xav kom nws lo tham dhua 10 xyooj tòm ntej no 😂😂😂😂 neeg ruam zoo li thaub no
I am the same way, I have no one ever show up at any of my events, I always go and help other,but when I do something, no one shows up, I am done with people
I think Hmong people find so so so many reasons not to help. Bad wife, orphans, education, wealth, not married the list goes on. If I married a man I married to start my own family. Not to take care of everyone else’s family. No matter how much we do for our spouses it’s never good enough. He just wants a title. The good wives get cheated on as well. So this guy just trying not to feel guilty.
That’s what i say.
He was ok with her until he got bored and wanted new…
Yeap..my husband and help at all funeral and eating. At the end, no one came to our son wedding. My while family came. His only a few came. But we don't care. Some people all they care for is money and titles. No need to please anyone.
Ib tug zoo niam tsev, zoo txiv tsev mas tsawg tsawg thiab laj nrhiav tau. Hos cov es tshuav yog poj niam thiab txiv neej puas sov saum txaj saum chaw xwb ces tig sab twg los tsuab tau.
Koj cia Koj Tus poi Niam ua qhev mas Koj thiaj zoo siab os
I agree with this guy. There are some women like this one who only care for her side of family and never love her husband side of family. I seen it before.
Exactly. I have seen and known first hand some women like this.
Why can't the woman love her side and the husband love his side? Why do hmong ppl always expect the wives to love his family as her own, yet not expect the husband to do the same for her family?
You married each other, not the family. She should be able to love her family without guilt. Same goes for him. Hmong ppl need to stop with the nonsense of keeping a tally of how much the wife does for her husband's side vs. her side.
True story 😂. Some people like that but when it's their party they expect everyone 😂
Zoo Siab tia koj ntib ib tug niam tsev zoo lawm los yuav tsuam hlub2 nw nawb
What about the husband ? Why doesn't he go help his side of family too? There is 2 side to this story!
When it comes to relationships, we need to treat the other person's family as we would like them to treat our.
Yes. Sadly, I've seen a lot of nyabs now a days only love their family and don't care about her husband's side.
Not all women/men are like that
Hmong people give and expect something back…this story is about how Hmoob people live, Hmong only give and help others because they were first got helped and received money. Hmong people will never give to a specific person because they never got anything from that person.
Yes, Hmong people only help in hope of getting something in return. They are not genuine. They call it sib pauv zog.
Well, do u want to give and give to other hmong ppl and don't expect them to give u anything back? If u can do that then i respect u.
@@maryly09 when I give n help someone, I don’t expect anything back
👏👏👏 facts! The greed, can’t ever do anything out of their kind heart with no expectation. The ones that love you most (spouse and children) are the only ones that will be impacted. Even if others love you, their lives will go back and function normally again. You shouldn’t live your life according to how the Hmong community judges you. Live your life according to the one true judge in heaven.
@@LysaVaj 💯 true
My old man told me these wise words before he passed away. His words "Neej tsa koj yog tus tiam thiab khiav, kwvtij yog koj tus pojniam tiam thiab khiav nawb mog."
Got me cratched my head.
Hmong is all about connection and politics. If you’re a no name individual, don’t matter how much you slave you’re a nobody. To make it in this day and age you gotta have money, status and thick face. Otherwise welcome to the other side.
So true, I see it happening to my parents.
Well said! They are people
Who go help at every event and no one comes help them for that very reason!
@@hummingbyrde very true too. The sad thing is that even if u help out everyone, it doesn't mean they will help u back too. I used to always go early to help my families, but when it was my turn, they didn't show up til 10am. Ever since then i stop going early bc i know ppl won't do for me what I'm willing to do for them.
Agree.
@@hummingbyrde seen it. Its sad
Kuv tus no kuv mus kwv mus tij , kuv Mus txog kuv yeej tsis lam Mus zaum, kuv mus khwv thaum pib txog thaum xaus los tseem muaj tej tug niam tsev tseem tsis nyiam kuv qees. Kuv tus txiv ces mus txog kwv tij Lis nws mus ua mai zaum ncauj mas ntsa zaj, yog nws mus ua pluas noj nws tsis paub ua qab luag tej niam tsev twb tsis nyiam nws Mus kov ces kuv kom nws txhob Mus kov lawv tej khoom noj cia lawv mam ua lawv tabsis Kuv mas mus pab ua yam kuv pab tau, mus ntxuav Lauj kaub tais duav thaum pib txog thaum xaus. Mus neej tsa los kuv mus, kuv Tus txiv ces mus neej tsa los Mus ua ncauj mas ntsa zaj, ncauj mas puam suab khaws tes taw tuag zawv kuv lub neej yeej tsis txog twg thiab. Qhov zoo ces Tus txiv tsev yuav tsum yog Tus muaj peev xwm ua taus, noj taus , hais taus txhob nyob poj niam qab tiab thiab yuav tsum txawj coj , txawj hais thiab txhob ua ncauj puam suab khaws tes taw tuag zawv thiab yuav tsum tau Tus poj niam coj zoo rau ob tog , txhob yog ua zoo rau nws neej nws tsav xwb.
Yog kawg
Just be happy for him with no questions ask just like the other stories… I would’ve love to hear from all the other stories from the guys prospectives too
I'm not sure this is the truth to his escape in the marriage. Want to hear other side as well.
Tim koj tus poj niam yeej yog neeg siab me nplaum.80% yog tim koj tsis cob nws ua noj ua haus tsis cob qhia thaum 3 tag kis vim koj yuav mos y 14 xyoo los koj tsis cob.yus xav kom tau ib tug poj niam zoo yus yuav tau qhia kom nws ua yog nws ua tsis tau koj mam blame nws
Nws hais yog zoo thiab coj tau zoo kawg. Zoo siab rau koj thiab koj tus hlub tshiab nawb kwv tij.
Peb ua neeg nyob yeej txawj yuam kev mog viv ncau..txob nyob lawm kav tsij muab pov tseg kiag xyum nyob ib leeg zoo dua txob ua rau cov niag txiv dev no muaj2 phu2 mog
We as a woman and housewife, we should know what our role and duties are among our family/relatives. Stop blaming him, it’s the wife who is siab me and can not serve both side of the family. She favor her side and it is true that some women are siab me tiag if you have not seen any you won’t know. She did unto herself only. I know there are 2 sides of the story but if she’s that good of an ex-wife then why would her 2nd husband send her back. Think about it!!
I know some women are like this lady here so that's why i don't defend her.
I agree! I personally know some people like the wife in this story. You should put your family you create first, but you must also learn how to balance both sides of the families. If there are no compromises in a relationship then why be married? Some women marry into the families and will literally take the words, “I married you for you and not for your family”, very literally no matter how introvert or shy someone is. If you don’t like or attempt to get along with his family then there’s no point to marry him.
May, this is a beautiful picture of you.
Cov poj niam hmoob es siv nyiaj loj loj yeej tsis sawm zoo nawb cov kwv tij hmoob aw...
That's true. If u don't come help me when i needed your help, then don't expect me to come help u when u need help.
To me, those are the words of a person with siab me. You shouldn't expect anything in return when you give.
When you help where you can, instead of going out of your way to help, you won't feel bad if people don't show up to help.
@@christysvang7248 that's a wishy washy way of thinking and won't last in real life. No one is willing to give give and give all the times and not expect anything back and will be happy with it. If u give and help here and there with random ppl then i can understand not expecting anything back. But if it's the same people, same families, eventually u will get tired of it.
I wouldn’t want to be around family who talked down on me or encourage my husband to go find someone else anyways! I’m sorry but I help those who help me and no one pay for my bills so don’t tell me what to do or who I have to pleased. As long as our close family is taking care of that’s all it matter
Es tus Txiv Sony nes, nyob qhov twg thiab os? I would like to know a Sony Husband too!🙌
The biggest flaw in the Hmong community is that people are always keeping count of names and the number of times they show up for anything. Why can't people just lend a hand for help sake and stop with the nonsense of tallying?
Why tu siab that people don't show up for you? The show must go on, so you just appreciate the people who do show up. There is no need to keep a huge circle and keep a tally. Just keep to your own and show up where you can. No need to impress anybody... less headache.
Your life is yours, not your relatives. If you're going to allow your relatives to tell you to divorce your wife then you are not a man.
I believe this man, lots of women only love their side of the family.
😊 I applaud you for sharing such an inspiration story, we needed more of this kind of stories. I am glad to hear you are happy and married your soul mate.
Lol sounds like the problem was your kwvtij 😂. Nej yog cov hmoob cob tub sav? Kuv xac mas koj tsis xav hlub koj tus 1st wife xwb os, yus didn't provide enough reason to divorce her. Sounded like you wanted to please and marry your kwvtij instead 😅. The only thing I hear and can put together is that koj siab me es koj hlub tsis taus koj cov neejtsa but lawv thiaj yog cov nav thwm thiab tuaj koj xwb ne???
Just because your wife don't go to your side of family does not mean you can't go....If you go, they will come help and help for your sake.
Not always true. The men go and they usually talk. They don't do the work. It's the women that do the work. So if his wife didn't show up to help other women, they know and see. And when it's her turn, that's why they didn't go help her.
@Listening_Snow LOL, your probably right because we are talking about hmong people. My husband is not hmong. Woman do very little cooking and wife does have to always come to be appropriate.
Because he needs her to go work while he mingles with the men. Men need to help out too instead of only women because cooking is both’s responsibility.
@@heysoniher yes bc most men jus mingle like u said. But it's not his fault bc it has been like this for a long time. So now u can't blame him for just mingling and not doing the work and expecting his wife to go help the women. Our culture has been doing this for thr longest so if u wanna blame, blame on the norm and everyone for accepting this norm. Now, if he goes and helps the women even when his wife isn't there, would that be appropriate? Bc like so many of u guys said, he needs to help the cousins and not jus mingle around. So let's say if he goes to help out the cousins and does all the work that supposedly his wife was supposed to do, then how does that make him look good in u guys' eyes? If then would u guys have said he is a good husband and does his share of work?
He can't win in this. It's like damn if u do, damn if u don't. If he doesn't go help out cousins, no one will come help him. If he goes and mingles, then ppl say he's only there to mingle. If he helps out the women (bc women do most of the chores at events) then he'll be called a whipped and wearing the skirt. That's why it's best if his wife goes so she could help out the ladies and he could help out the men. If u don't like the way this works then be the change and change the whole system.
Zoo heev li o
Yog kawg !!! Poj niam Sony daj dhee tau lawm yuav kav ib txis, Poj niam Sayao tsuas yog kev plees Nkauj nraum ib vuag dua.
Cov neeg coj li no ces yuav yog tuam txhob thiab laus thiaj paus tau xwb
This just means that his wife is the sucess behind his marriage. He doesn't do much for the woman he is married too. And hes a man, can he not go to fhe gatherings without his wife lol. You have to take accountability for your your own actions. Because your family blamed you as well.
Tus txiv tsev kuv to taub koj zaj no yog yus yog neeg siab loj ces mloog thiaj tau taub ho yog tus neeg siab me ces mloog tas ces cemnws.
Yog yus yov ua twmtswb thiab
coj raws li twmtswb. Ces tsis tas
Yus yov caw kwv tij zej zog tuaj
koom. Txawm txog hnub yus
tus kheej tuag los, yus yeej tsis
nrog leej twg sab laj hlo. Yus cia
li tuag li twm tswb tuag xwb tiag.
Yus tuag thaum twg ces cia li Xa
ncaj qha tim hoomaum los rau tom
qha ntxa ces faus kiag xwb mam li
los ua memorial tom tsev xwb. Ho
muaj dab tsi thiab.
I feel so sad for the first wife. She was vilified by his clan. Hope karma comes for him soon.
Seems like karma got to her first. So what does that say?
Tus txiv tsev koj hais tias koj rov ua koj lub neej kaj kaj siab, koj tus poj niam yuav koj nws puas kaj kaj siab li koj thiab na, tsam koj tus me poj niam twb tsis kaj siab, tiam sis nws tsis xav kom lub neej puas dua zaum 2 nws thiaj khwv ua txhua yam zoo rau nws tus kheej xwb, mloog koj tham zoo li koj tsis hlub koj tus poj niam li koj tus poj niam hlub koj, koj cia koj tus poj niam ua hauj lwm ntau dhau..koj tsis pab nws koj tsuas qhuas kom koj tus poj niam ua koj qhev xwb
I only believe you 10%. Cov lug no yog lug poj Niam xwb.
Lol, people who believe this story is too naive. 1. Cos kwv tij paub tab will never tell you to divorce your wife of 20 years.
2. Cos kwv tij paub tab, especially tus leader would never shame anyone even your ex in front of people during your son's wedding.
3. When your mom passed away, cos kev tij yelled at you and said they came bc of your younger brother only. If it was me, I would have thanked them for loving my brother much and walked away.
A lot of the details in the story don't add up. This seem like a made up story to shame our Hmong sisters only. Or at least get pay back from all these horrid Hmong men stories. Lol
This story is either fake or the husband is an a--hole. It took him up until his kids are grown and married for him to realize his wife was stingy? For reals dumba--. He probably cheated and blamed her for it. This story is one sided.
Some people put up with rubbish for a long time, just like our Hmong women. I think his wake-up call was when his daughter got married, and no one on his side came to help. I know women like his first wife, they are entitled and think they owe no one. Guess what? You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.
I’m not gonna side with this man bc there’s always two sides to the story. Some ppl have anxieties and are introverted, hence the lack of wanting to socialize and be surrounded by lots of people. Maybe there’s some type of mental health that they don’t know how to interpret so they think it’s automatic hatred towards others. I think the marriage could’ve been saved, had they sought counseling.
คู่แท้
hwj koj tus niam tsev no mas kuv qhuas tias zoo heev lawm tiag
Niaj hnub no kuv tus txiv yog tus neeg tham2 hluas nkauj thiab tseem nyiag kev mus yuav tau ib niam Hmoob nplog thiab tseem yog ib tug ua hlub tsis tau kuv cov neej tsa ib qhov dab tsi li kuv niam kv txiv tej neej tsav tu siab tag hos nws xav kom kuv ma ua txhua2 yam rau nws niam nws txivnws kwv tij xwb kuv ces niaj hnub no nyuab siab kawg tug txiv siab phem siab me2 li no puas tsis nyog yuav lawm na tsoom phooj ywg
This man blamed the first wife for everything but didn’t take any accountability on his part.
So what are his parts that he's not taking accountability for?
@@maryly09 Nws ua tsis tau txiv. He didn’t take any action to correct his wife, but continued to let her do what she wanted. I’m sure he loved her too much but if he saw how she treated his side of the family he need to be stern and nip that kind of treatment in the bud.
@@heysoniher one adult cannot force another adult to change. If this man tried to “man- up” then you would say he’s too controlling.
@@yl7495 I agreed with you.
@@yl7495 There’s a difference between telling someone their actions are not okay and controlling someone.
Brother koj twb yog tus cob koj tus 1st wife nws thiaj zoo li ntawv xwb. Koj tus 2nd wife tos zoo los nws tus ex cob nws mus li ntawv ne.
Sorry hmong community expects too much. Sometimes being saib mes is the way to go!
I know some of the women like to focus more on neej tsa NOT kwj tij, i agrée with you brother, cov neeg focus more on neej tsa Tsi tsuam txog twg thiab os
Brother , it's a two-way street. She was only 16 years old, and you're over 20. You should've been in control of the finances, especially when your wife is sorely lacking in kindness and as a wife. Don't lay all the blame on her because you allowed her to.
Koj thiab koj tus txiv los poj niam lub neej tsim txiaj los ntawm koj tsev kwv tij ua ntej tshaj plaws tas mam li kis mus rau lwm cov txheeb ze. Yog koj tsis kam mus pauv lwm tus zog, lwm tus tsis zoo tuaj pauj koj zog rov vim lwm tus twb tsis muaj zog pauj rov. Yog koj mus pauv lwm tus zog noj thiab nyob xwb, lwm tus kuj tsuas tuaj pauj koj zog noj thiab nyob tib yam nkaus thiab xwb. Tsis tas li ntawv los yog koj ho mus pauv lwm tus zog lig, lwm tus kuj tuaj pauj koj zog lig thiab. Tib neeg lub siab yeej coj li no yog feem coob.
Tsis rov yuav poj niam tub nkeeg poj niam siab me lawm lau....Qub neeg qub siab qub dev qub ntxiab xwb yog av tsis lim ces yeej hloov tsis tau. Tab txawm tiam tshiab los tus ntsuj plig tseem yog tus qub thiab xwb.....
Next
Cov tees mees zoo li no feev ntau mas yog cov txiv tsev ua tsis tau txiv xwb...nws tsis muaj noos qes...
Ntiaj teb no puas muaj cov txiv Sony li no lawm thiab nev. Xav nrhiav 1 tug thiab. 😂😅
Muajnawb
She married you when she was 16. It was your fault for not telling her the right way. Tim koj xwb os. Koj siab me ces nws siab me, koj tub nkeeg ces nws tub nkeeg. It’s all on you. Don’t blame her.
Qhov koj ywj koj Tus poj niam es koj hais tsis tau koj poj niam hlub koj tsev neeg ces 1 qho luag hais tias vim koj pw poj niam qab tiab lawm. Koj ntshai nws, koj nyoo nws, koj ua tsis taus txiv, koj hais tsis tau nws, koj tsis noj hnia qees hais kom tau nws. Koj pw nws qab tiab lawm,. Koj cia nws ua txiv lawm ces ua ntau thiab ntau ces nws thiaj muab koj tsuj tsis ntshai koj lawm. Cov txiv neej uas pw poj niam qab tiab hais tsis taus poj niam ces zoo li no los más.
Zoo kawg
Cias koj tus poj niam tuaj piav nw sab thiab mas. Tej zaum kuj tsis tim nw tag tag thiab. Yog koj tsev neeg tsis nyiam nw ces lawv yuav tsim teeb meem rau neb lub neej.
Vim koj ruam tshaj ruam lawm. Vim koj twb tsis nco tias leej twg tsa ceg es koj tawm los na. Ho koj pojniam li nws hwm tus neeg tsa ceg nws tawm los ne. Cov tub los yog txiv neej zoo li koj ces mus sam ua pojniam nawb.
What is a pojniam SONY?! I’m confused.
Yeej muaj ib co poj niam neejtsa xwb!
Nyob zoo os uncle aws, Iam happy for you and your new wife. You don't owe anyone any validation or explanation because you did everything right. You were a good husband to her. You were a good father to your family and also your relatives. Your ex wife is delusional and narcissistic. She took your kindness for weakness, you gave her so many chances and so many choices but she didn't change her ways. Now that she see your life has flourished for the better, she crawls back begging? No, she made her bed let her lay in it.
💯💯
There are two sides. This is the f'ing problem with Hmong men and hmong culture. The nastiness the jealousy. if you don't do for me I dont do for you if you don't show up I'm not showing up. where is the love for each other. Show the way to be there for people lead righteously if you want to act as a leader. This is why Hmong people fail at everything and family members fight against each other. My father alway said if people don't care and hurt him he will stand his ground but, he will not get even in such a nasty way. He will help out of kindness and not get even in dirty play. sorry there is a reason Hmong men fail in comparison to other cultures. 🎉 to Hmong men it will take 100 years to see a change.
Nws siab me Los koj yog tus txiv yuav tsum siab loj thiab coj koj tus niam tsev ua noj ua haum. Nws tsis mus kwv mus tij Los KOJ yog leej txiv koj yuav tsum mus thiab, but koj Los yeej tsis mus thiab es thiaj li muaj this story to piav and hais. Don't blame your wife but yourself as well.
Zoo siab qhov koj tau 1 tug new super sony wife lawm tab sis koj puas yog 1 tug super sony husband thiab ?hope you love you new spouses neej tsa tib yam koj ntshaw nws hlub koj kwv tij thiab hos
I need to hear the ex wife's side before I make a decision , please keep me updated.
Wow! 😮 You must have a very big clan in order for them to help you with over 10k for your sons wedding.
Ok, I don’t get it. Even though your wife didn’t go help, what happen to you as the husband? Stop blaming your wife. At least her family came for her but none of your family came. So dumb.
💯
Her family came bc she only love and help them. His didn't come bc she didn't love or help them. Lol.
I was like what is poj niam sony..isnt sony a electronic brand? Lol and then towards the end it made sense.
Can you explain because I still don’t get the tiltle 😂
Yog koj tus poj niam twb zoo li koj hais ko, yog vim li cas koj tseem nrog nws sib txuas lus thaum koj twb tau ib tug niam tsev zoo lawm os brother?
Poj niam sony yog dabtsi? Kuv xav ntse nws tus poj yuav tib cov khoom Sony brand xwb es nws khaub hlab tag.
I don't think the problem is within your wife but it's you. Koj ua tsis tau txiv nes. Now you put all the blame on her.
Txiv neej ces yeej hais tias poj niam phem. Tus ruam los yeej tseem siab phem.
I agree. Mayb if he made enough money to support his family, she wouldnt have to be so tight with money. His life partner is his wife, not the relatives. His priority should be to feed his family, not have others praise him by showing off to outside family members.
@@mayflower1987 Agreed that his priority should be his family. He pride too much on what others think about him. If she was being unfair in the way she treats his side of the family he needs to put a stop to it but he didn’t. His praising of the second wife sounds condescending to me, like he finally found a maid/slave who is willing to serve him and his clan.
But if he's the bad one, then how come the ex wife didn't have a good life too?
I agree with this guy. Some women only love their family, not the husband's family. I seen it before.
Hard to judge when heard from just one side of the story. Life needs balance, a focused point, the center of gravity, we all need to work around it...a family life and social life. Best wish for you both. Thanks for sharing your story.
You don’t even know what a marriage is. .. or what love and real friends are.
Cov lus Koj hais Tej zaum yuav tsis muaj npaum Tej zaum yog tim Koj thiab tsis li cas twb laus tag tsis xiam qai lawm ho sib nrauj xav hnov Koj Tus niam loj cov lus tag thiab thiaj paub txiav txiv rau Koj kuj yuav muaj ib nrab tab sis ib nrab yuav tim Koj thiab txhob muab liam tag nrho rau Koj niam loj hahahaha
Hmong society is outdated and we need to make some changes to the way we treat either about noj mov ncig zos.
What does the title have to do with this story? It should be called "Behaviors of Bad Wife vs. Good Wife".
I'm wondering that myself lol
Lately her story titles isn’t match the story.
Hehehehe
If you don’t understand the morals of this story yet and you’re a wife acting like that. You’re about to get $1200 back 😂
@@tonneeyang4980 Hehehehehe
Tus brother aw kv los tau 1 niag txiv coj zoo nkaus li kj niag poj niam thiab lub neej zoo li no mas dhuav tiag2 li os dim plaws nws mas tshav ntuj nrig os nrog kj zoo siab yuav tau tus zoo niam tsev os
Txhob hloov siab xwb mas.
Txawm koj tus pojniam tsis nyiam tsis khiav kwv tij neej tsa los yog koj khiav lawv ces txog koj lawv yeej yuav tuaj kawg os. Lawv tsis xav rau koj tus pojniam loa lawv yeej txawj txawj xav rau ntawm koj os. Nyias yeej tsuas txawj hus nyiam tus kwj tse xwb os. Im sure ur wife will tell a different story. She's ur children's mother. Learn how to respect each other like grown people
Kuv xav mas koj twb txeeb lawv tus lawm tej zaum thaum ub nws tus niam loj quaj thov koj koj tsis k niam no thiaj npam koj koj thiaj tau quaj ntsuag li nws thiab os sister. Txhob mob siab os yam yus ua lawm ces txawm tus neeg ntawv hais tsis tau los ntuj qis2 lawm npam sai2 li lawm .tiam tam sim no txhua tus yuav tau ua qhov Zoo nawb
Cov niag neeg nkees ces tau tog nrav xwb tsis hais poj niam los yog txiv neej li os tau poj niam nkees ces lawb yuav tus tshiab hos tau txiv nkees ces laj yuav tuag xyov yuav ua li cas os
As a wife, I like to attend event from both sides of the family. Can’t just attend one side only. In this story, the husband allow the wife to do whatever she wants so she only want to attend her side of the family only. It’s both of you at fault.
I attend which ever event I want and don’t when I don’t. I’m not obligated to attend and don’t feel little, when whoever don’t show up to mines. It’s life and it goes on
I agree! Sounds like he spoiled her and allowed her to do whatever she wanted and the first wife sounds like she didn’t like his family or extended family enough to be married to him.
เรื่องนี้ ควรฟังผู้หญิงอีกคนเล่าด้วย เล่ามาแบบนี้ เหมือนเหยียบผู้หญิงคนนั้นเกินไป ผช. ฟังคนอื่นมากกว่าครอบครัวตัวเอว สักวัน ญาติพี่น้อง บอกว่า คนใหม่ไม่ดีอีก ก็ต้องหาคนใหม่อีกหรอก
I'm glad u found someone whose energy and love matches yours.
Rvfni inrirr 17:29 hữu hữu một làn hữu hữu hữu hữu vụ f6y
😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😮😊
Leejtwg tsis tau ntsib cov neeg qia dub mas leejtwg tsis paub naw. Tus txijnkawm ua li cas los txhaum nws tag naw. Nws yeej tsis pub luag cev ib qho rau luag tsev neeg li aw
Moral of the story: never put your happiness in someone else’s hands.
Kuv tsis nkag siab tias cas twb sib nrauj tas lawm los cas ho tsis kam pauv xov tooj?
What everyone commented 😊
Kj ce quav dev
Your daughter got lot of money. I got that much too 20 years ago and we have a lot of my relative. Each family gave me like $20 dollars only