Got Nothing To Say Because You're Not Interesting? (Easy Tip)
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- Sean Cooper of ShynessSocialAn... talks about how you may get a "blank mind" around people where there's nothing in your mind to say. This problem does not happen because you don't have an interesting life to talk about, but for another reason...
Most times people in a group are saying witty or humorous things to one another, and I have never had that gift. And if I TRY to be funny it never goes well for me.
Bro fr I can't make up anything amd when I try and make a joke it's "corny"
TL'DR: It's not the things you say, it's how you say them: Speaking with energy, fascination, and your little unique perspectives can make the most ordinary things sound interesting.
But for me it is literally that I have nothing to talk about. Like I have nothing to say
I have nothing to add to the conversation so how I say it makes no difference.
I agree. If I had something to say I would most likely say it but I don't. Perhaps thinking that I’m boring and being afraid of being judged as that causes my brain to not be able to function normally to think of things to say. I don’t know. All I know is it’s all exhausting to me!
why the fuck i feel that i talk like a robot and very low tone when i am with people how can i change this for fuck sake i feel like an idiot
finally found my ppl! It feels good that there are other people like me out there!i literally have nothing to say at times and i just nod my head and I am not really that expressive eventhough I try to do that..
This issue of not being able to talk to anyone outside of my immediate family is the reason I wish I was never born. This shit is a prison. I can’t truly connect with anyone. 30 years old and I can’t figure it out.
You good?
At least you’ve had good experiences. 17 and I have done nothing
@@DeezN1892 face your fears now cause as you get older it gets a lot tougher, not impossible, but tougher. Do some of the things that make you uncomfortable so you get used to that feeling.
@@MarvFitBikesKicks I’m 17 too and I’m struggling. I keep ruining friendships because of my low self esteem. I always feel like I’m not good enough to be their friend or they secretly hate me.
@@DeezN1892 Same age, I already wasted my childhood years, and next year (19) will be the last year I have of being a teen. Feel like crap
Problem is, people around me just spout out the randomest things. Wether it be, a certain topic or speaking from their life experience. Which is just far from my league. They make me feel small, insignificant, boring. I often get drowned out by the more interesting stuff they share. It's like I can't compete with them. My life is just far too boring to keep up with them.
I can feel it.
go out and make your life interesting make plans every two weeks socialize with people and learn from them watch comedians and the comedy shows online and learn how they make jokes so you can improve your humor. Watch videos on body language and how to become alpha. This is all what I am doing and seeing good progress, learned every thing from youtube. check far from average channel also improvement pill.
Just lie, gaslight
@@lazes2109people are really good at that 😂
Got Nothing To Say Because You're Not Interesting? (Easy Tip) 0442am 18.12.23 random? random is good. the worrisome folk are those who seek to control every facet of society - from the conversation to the outcome of that conversation... ummm... you should try randomness.
Sometimes I really want to say something, but I am not a walking dictionary so the words don't come out till hours later "Thats what I should have said!"
I was severely shy growing up. I've gotten so much better in the last few years, most of my friends think I am funny and creative now. However, I still find myself sometimes seeping back into anxiety. This was such a good reminder of how I used to continually think and how I can improve! Thanks!
same
How did you get funny and make friends?
How did you improve? Tips?
Got Nothing To Say Because You're Not Interesting? (Easy Tip) 0439am 18.12.23 i acknowledge my not having anything to offer. i enjoy that. as for being shy. that's usually extraneously enforced. a case of other people not being able to get over themselves. it probably took you a while to realise that... there is a lot to be said for loathing various sections of society - in relation to standing up and telling them: NO! as opposed to your walking round punching them or something... as for this guy. i heard nothing. just a load of babble but at least he's not shy or beset with the tedium of solitude...
Sometimes you don't talk cuz you simply have this feeling that may people won't get you.
That's exactly how I am sometimes. I just don't have anything to say. But you know, I married someone who wasn't a big talker either, and we were very at peace just being together without always having to have some big social conversation. I've been around people, both men and women who just didn't know how to chill out and relax with someone and feel at ease, comfortable just being with the other person. So what I'm saying is that it's okay to not say alot. I think what's most important is to learn to open your heart and be loving and caring toward everyone you meet. And if they are a right person, they will be loving and caring toward you. Which is what you want in a friendship or any kind of relationship. Just ask God to help you!
Thanks buddy, needed that
How's marriage today?
@@noemuzika Today?
@@spartaeus Do you feel like you and your wife have grown closer to each other since the last time you commented on this video? Do y'all talk more?
@@noemuzika I was with her for over 20 years. We grew content just being together, without needing to have long conversations. There was just a security there knowing that we were both there for one another. That's what we both wanted. I have noticed that caffeine drinkers seem to want to, I hate to say " yap constantly ". My wife wasn't a coffee drinker, and she wasn't the type of person that liked to get on the phone with other women and yap. I hope that doesn't sound too harsh. I think she just liked a peaceful life. And I did too. That's why we meshed well. We just did our own thing around the house. But we did go out shopping together, and enjoyed going places occasionally. She passed away.
I bought your book and it has helped me immensely in fighting the 1000 anxious moments I experience daily.. this guy is not a scam...
Soo is buying his system helpful?? Please i wanna know if its ...
@@klejimr6965 hey man I tried the system a couple years ago and it actually helped. I went from being a loner to having a small group of friends and I even got a girlfriend. But then I had some bad experiences with that girl and that group of friends and I went back to being a loner lol, so it works but you have to keep using the techniques or you'll regress back to your old ways. However I will say a lot of the info you get in the system you can get for free on the internet. Also it doesn't really go into how to text people and using social media to your advantage. But it worked for me, hope this helps you.
@@ciro9951 i have overcome my anxiety amd all and i have tons of friends now butt...i get depressed out of nowhere lmao its kinda worrying me now....and im glad that you've suppressed the anxiety in u..
@@klejimr6965 if it's more serious like depression then I recommend seeing a psychologist even though some are hella expensive lmao. Good luck brother hope everything goes right for you
Damn.. this may be one of the best videos I've ever seen. Energy and mood is EVERYTHING! When Im feeling bored or down I cant think of anything to say, but when Im happy, almost anything is exciting and interesting.
Great video! I've noticed that having energy in what you say is really important. If you think about people who speak well, its because they speak with lots of energy.
Okay, how do you create that energy?
He never explains how...
OH MY GOD! I’m 15 now and I’ve been struggling with social anxiety since middle school started. I randomly stumbled upon this channel and it’s so helpful! I feel like I can get a route of changing, just listening to your experience and your tips calms my mind so much. You’re doing a great job!!! Please keep going,,, I admire every thought you put into the video
how’s it going
A lot of my problem is often I’ve started talking to someone about something that interests me or asked them a question and they don’t react well. I’m not even talking about really weird stuff, just things like “I watched this really cool movie” and they’ll just happen to be the type of person that doesn’t watch tv and looks down on people who do. Or I’ll ask someone a question and they’ll get mad at me for asking it. I recently asked someone a question to follow up on something theyd just said and they got mad at me and insisted I was trying to start an argument. It was a really crushing experience because I was really just interested in what they were saying and suddenly they were being really mean to me. Things like this happen to me all the time and I just end up withdrawing further into myself every time it happens.
My biggest problem that's holding me back is that I fear I have nothing in common with most other young people I see at bars and clubs when I go out. For example, I don't listen to the same music they do; I don't watch the same TV shows; I don't dare go out onto the dance floor because I don't know any dances or what is popular right now. I read voraciously- nonfiction though like history, social studies, the rise and fall of various civilizations, even philosophy and economics. I only watch news networks & fact-based programming like History channel, Military channel, Discovery, etc. I also read a lot of comic books because I've always been a superhero geek and I'm currently a young upstart comic book artist who draws everyday(believe me, it's not as fun as it sounds. You're chained to a desk in your home for 9-12 hours a day). My favorite thing to do though isn't drawing, but writing. I love writing more than anything, as well as public speaking because I'm a skilled orator/public speaker. I even spent a year in college doing stand-up comedy to make money on the side, but mostly because I'm an excellent public speaker who enjoys holding audiences at rapt attention in the palm of my hand..... not to mention the best part : Being able to tell everyone my opinions uninterrupted & make fun of everyone else. I just feel like a boring outsider who isn't in-synch with other young people because I have so few things in common with everyone and anything I want to talk about they'll likely consider boring. Any thoughts or advice, Sean, on how to handle this?
You seem really smart ... there is people out there who find that stuff interesting as well. You don't have to listen to taylor swift or watch grey's anatomy to connect to others!
Britton Thompson
Try and explore new places. I read this somewhere even though it doesn't apply to me. I'll shorten it down into this saying. Don't wait for someone to invite you skydiving, go and skydive for yourself and meet new friends there. This means go and find people with similar interests instead of waiting for them to find you. Go somewhere with one of your closest friends or if not on your own. Go somewhere that you have a strong interest in as you're more likely to find people with common interests. Read this guys book on self consciousness to build confidence if you don't feel confident about talking to new people.
Have you tried these thing? Don't feel forced to do things you don't feel interested in. I know this isn't the best advice as I'm only 13 but try this Sean guys book. It helped me.
You just realise the sad truth that most people are mind controlled dumbed down drones. Don't think you have to be friends with these people. There are like minded people out there, but you won't find them out drinking.
lmao
Britton Thompson my nigga you clearly got plenty to say just go out and say it.
Lol I've read that book, "wild." Haven't seen the movie though. I agree with you. It's not about how interesting your life is... it's about how you express yourself and your personality, that will attract people. There was this guy in my class, who at first was quiet, but months, maybe a year later, he started "expressing" himself more openly, and I began to think... "Wow, this guy is the life of this classroom." It was as if all of a sudden, he became very interesting, and whenever this kid would be absent, I started to hear other people mention this guys name and stating he was the life of the classroom. It was weird, because It was like he just suddenly became this odd enticing person. He was different, weird... he would say jokes like, "I am a God..." Lol, or just hilarious things. He wasn't afraid to be himself. Keep up the great work on the channel. :)
I think people just like people who have a sense of humor about whatever boring thing that might be being talked about. Some people have that gift, it however has never been my gift. It can be learned so I'm told but I don't think it can be faked. You either have it or you don't. Some people I notice laugh a lot at their own comments. That doesn't make them humorous but I think it just helps others to perceive that they are humorous even if they're really not. I'm still struggling with this lifelong problem and not sure what the answer is.
Yes, I feel that way whenever I'm around anyone. I can't find anything interesting or useful to say so I don't say anything at all.
I watch a lot of videos about Social Anxiety but this one... it made me realise what my problem actually is. Thanks man, will write resoults in a year
results?
this is my biggest problem.. will be watching all of your videos.. thanks :)
My problem i used to be excited to do anything...now i hate everything and i dnt understand why
You're passionate about psychology and social anxiety...You're fascinated about what you're saying. I think that's one of the reasons I like your video!
AHHH YES YOU ARE EXACTLY WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW!!! I would love to do your program but I don't have a credit card...but these videos are helping and oh my goodness I'm so happy!
+Hai, you're perfect〈3 Hai ftw
so shanicey hru now is the anxiety gone
Hey, I discovered your channel just a couple days ago, but I wanted to tell you that I really appreciate your work. It's like you're sharing stuff that every "normal" person knows but nobody wants to tell you. What you say feels really spot on. I'm not sure if I'll be able to put your tips into practice and get better, since my problems seem to be in a deeply ingrained vicious circle - low self-esteem, procrastination, social anxiety, depression... but thanks anyways.
sitofak
Practice makes it easier and easier. Put yourself in situations where you will encounter people. And when you are out running errands or whatever, make it a point to make small talk with those around you on the train, the clerk at the bank, the store cashier...
I feel this comment i asked a one of my freinds how are they so good at talking with people but he always gives me a dry response like "i dont know"
You changed my life sean and I am for greatful to you I don't have enough words to thank you. I didn't became the perfect social person but am still working on it. I used to hate my life when i read your stories it's like I'm reading my own life. I have realised that I'm not the only one suffering this anxiety...and now I don't hate life anymore it's all because of.. your such an inspiring person.. I had been reading all those other articles and they didn't helped at all...I wish I had found you earlier.. I wish you all the success in life and may you be a great inspiration to those like... god bless you.. (I hope you read this) love you!!! ❤❤❤
I just started highschool 2 days ago and whenever Intry to talk to girls from my class they kinda ignore me in a conversations. They start to talk about people from school and I don't know anyone so I just keep quiet. It is the worst feeling in the world :'(
I am amazed to find someone who really knows what we need. I am so excited because I can finally see that I might be able to be helped! It is hard to keep my interest in these things (probably because they don't work... at all), but I have read everything and plan to review all content you have to offer. Seeing that you are a good person and that you have gone through this amazing transformation... and all of the work you have put into this is the most inspirational thing I have found on this subject yet. I would love to know what you did to get there. Let me know if there is a way to find out... :D
Unfortunate news flash: he'll never get back to you.
Thanks a lot man. Its really the thing I think people should think when they think too much. Lol.
Honestly, being happy and busy helps. But also, it's about how comfortable and interested one is in another person he's talking to. Really. But yeah, this is quite the nail to coffin
Hmm, I'm not sure I'm convinced, or maybe this just doesn't fit my situation too well. What I'm getting out of this is: "If you feel like nothing comes to mind, it's because you're trying to say interesting things, but you should say boring things instead in an interesting way."
Very often I can't even find the boringest things to say. I search and search even for the minutest word just to even confirm to the speaker that I'm listening, but I find nothing.
You commented long time ago but I relate to this...if I got even the most boring thing to say I wouldddd right away
But my mind is so emptyyy no matter who I am with or how comfortable I feel with them
I thought I'm the only on who is like this
@@growwith-me. Definitely not xx I'm also like this, I think it's worse when I actively think about it lol
@@OneOfYourFrenchGirIs i understand you. Thinking about it definetly makes it worse but it's so hard to stop doing that especially when people got mad at you in the past cause you are not talking or when they pointed it out in a rude way😩
I'm wondering if it's really fear and we don't recognize it? Fear is like a cog or stick stuck in the spokes of a wheel, it stops it from functioning normally. Perhaps subconsciously we are afraid and that's what stops our minds from functioning normally?
People want to hear interesting stories and some things are easier to make interesting than others. If I spent the weekend playing video games and the other person has no interest in video games, there's really no point in me telling them about interesting shit that happened in my game. I've got stuff to say but that conversation is still going nowhere. If I went out clubbing and had an interesting experience, way more people are going to be receptive to that story.
You say it's not about adding new things and experiences to yourself when it is. The more things you do and the more experiences you have, the more likely you are to have a conversation with someone on a topic you both have interest in. If all I do every weekend is watch TV, play video games and eat pizza, I limit myself to having good conversations only with people who like the same TV shows, play the same video games or like the same food and can't really connect with others.
Another thing is that after you tell your story about the game or in his case about the movie, when you finish that you end up in the same place, what I am going to say next? The conversation is gonna be what? 10 minutes?
But isn't it actually better to talk to people who have the same interests that you have? Why would you want to change yourself and do certain things just to get more people to like you? Too much work, i would not be able to do It xD
There is a point when Sean says to unravel your personality to people by giving an example of scientifically related thingy which I found helpful, rest of his lecture went over my head.
I thank you a lot, this really helps cause you do understand the problem and offer logical solutions.
Apart from that, I feel low on energy in every social interaction, but guess that has to do with the fact that nothing seems to gets me excited anymore... Anyway I'm taking action about what you said here.
I think mine is different situation and even worse than anyone could literally expect .I don't use to run out of words in public. The prblm which i use to face in public places is that i couldn't breathe properly and my heart starts beating faster. Even when i use to go to local grocery stores i have to go there holding my breathe and everytime i feel like everyone is looking at me and ofcourse i can't make eye contacts ...........
SAME it’s a huge struggle for me I feel like my brain shuts down when I feel anxious
@@spicyramen5135 Exactly as if my body ain't under my cntrl & sometimes those facial muscle twitches ughhh
I have stuff to talk about, but I doubt anybody would care what I have to say about it. What should I do about that?
THANK YOU! You have no idea how helpful this video was 🙏🏼
I’m 20 and I never have anything to say to anyone. Even writing is hard because my head simply feels blank, devoid of anything to say. I’m unable to create a connection with anyone, since I’ll just manage some trivial response but have no substance to add to the convo. Can barely communicate with my own family. I feel very stupid.
I hate being blank urrrrgh!!
For me, it's literally all situations
Thanks Sean. You are the best SA coach out there
Bro I used to be funny and cool to talk to but lately I literally have a blank ass mind cuz I haven't been going out much or experiencing things and because of this ive been quiet...😭😭 hopefully this helps ahh
How's it going?
OMG like me when I watch survivor. My perspective makes it more interesting. Because I look deep, and quirky. THANX.
What if you are never in social situations? Because I potentially really suck as a person... Thanks Parents! lol
@Name Unavailable so true once i get in one good joke i feel like the funniest person in the room
I haven't got the gift of talking to people
Sean this is great advice and i feel this way a lot. however my problem is when in a conversation its best to talk about whats relevant to the subject but many times i don't have any similar experiences to what they are talking about or maybe don't have anything that contributes to the conversation. like when i was younger i was known as being random because i'd derail a conversation by talking about things like what video games i like when the topic is something completely different.
It's impossible to fill an empty cup with an empty container.
My rule of thumb in conversations is to be interested rather than interesting.
Fuck I wish I could change this about myself.
Idk… it’s a hit or miss for me. Some people are just simply not my “vibe”, so I’m more reserved with certain people I guess. I just learned to accept that I’m not going to hit it off with everyone I encounter, even if a friend introduced me to their friend.
Good tips i don’t know why we make it so difficult.
I’ve always disliked people who can carry conversations and seem to be really having fun talking. It all just seems so fake but it probably jealousy
I got diagnosed with autism last year. Now I know why I can't do anything about that problem.
"I have nothing to say"- is the simple answer of smart gangsters stopped by police☝️
More power to you. It takes courage to do what you're doing. Some constructive criticism: You're a bit monotone, brother. Voice kind of drones on, so it's easy to get distracted from whatever you're trying to say. Otherwise keep it up!
How to avoid conversations
I agree with a lot of this but what if people are so very fascinated about themselves that's all they can talk about -- i.e. they are narcissists !
I wanna talk with my brothers but i dont know what to talk about
I Love it! It gave me a new perspective! 🙏
so helpful! thank you so much
good advice, thank you
I just use my dirty mind to carry conversations. Obviously at the right time and place.
Except sooner or later talk is not enough if you really want to bond with someone, you also have to act on what you say.
thanks man
Jason Morgan influences
I wish I watched your videos 20years ago
thank you for everything
Thankyou 😊
I love that movie “Wild”
some all of them
Thanx man..ur a good guy
Finally someone tells me the truth
Where is your new videos?
amazing love it
You are awesome
Breakthrough point 5:51
Gosh your amazing
Where can I buy your book on your website?
Funny people are interesting.
Powerful JRE.
I was bored after 4 minutes of this
I have to hms
8:40 🤯
If you don't mind sharing, How tall are you?
Love jre
maybe they are talking about trivial things.. not very interesting subject
Jose Mourinho: Hold my tactics book
What
1:12 looks like minecraft
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
❤️
omg this is perfect
JRE
💓💜💓💜
This man is not me.
Sean Cooper lol