As bizarre as it may sounds....when you're in it, even though you feel something is wrong and you've been neglected, taken for granted, ignored, invalidated, manipulated, and unheard constantly, you DO NOT realise that is EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
Exactly. I would even worry if I accused him falsely and then felt like I betrayed him. Or I feel sorry for him bc he has no or little emotions. It was a connection via dating but I loved him from my heart. I still do but last weekend I snapped after another rejecting attitude. It felt like a knife through my heart. I cried under the shower, upset again After that my anger came up and I told him that I couldn't take his humiliating attitude anymore, wished him the best and removed him from my phone list. This time he also removed me and that's when I panicked and cried from feeling sad I feel so attached to him even though I once felt a form of agression when I was with him and I told him it was abnormal behavior. He would be silent if I confronted him. Next day he would text asking me how I was doing so he ignored me expressions and I would be glad that he wasn't angry at me and still in my phone and happy to be connected . There was no full peace, it was like a constant stress vs relief and fear he would be gone. It's bizarre how quickly I got attached so strongly. And some may say that's not real but I know for sure from my side it was is love but I'm sending it to a stone wall. I guess it was about power and control. Well he's gone now. I feel alone and when another kind man would get serious me now I feel like looking for safety with him, as if he is my brother that I never had. So weird but this is how I feel. While he didn't treat me with respect at moments and even reacted agressive when I said no. That's crazy I am a free person I have my house work, I sport I call myself independent but I accept boundary crossing behavior and I look for protection from an unpredictable assh. I now miss the messages then my pride comes up telling me he misses me too for sure. Well I focus on the blessing: I can find rest now and no more sudden hurtful words, frustration. I also feel angry in moments bc I feel used or I think about things he said or did. Overall I'm calm. This was not even a full relationship but I felt connected in my heart and lately I kept seeing a vision of a siamese twin attached to my right shoulder. There are many of these people with a nice attitude, gentle and playing thoughtful but sooner or later attacked on your heart, emotions, silent treatments, sarcasm and insults will show up. My door is closed. I don't feel like that tbh. I hope to see his text message still in the morning but I declare that my door is closed. I literally told him that I am going to heal my heart and go my own way. He wished me goodluck. I don't know if I felt sarcasm or if it's my own distrust. Manipulation is married to confusion.
Exactly. 24 years of the insanity and like you I knew something was very wrong but my limited thinking ability kept me from getting out. He had convinced me that it was me. It was him all along!
Married 16 years to a narcissist. When I would start to come out of the fog and sense that this is beyond typical problems, friends, relatives and others would excuse or minimized it which made me doubt myself again. People that have not lived with a narcissist cannot comprehend what it's like.
😞 it is surreal when you hear other people’s stories and how similar they are to your own, but it also helps you realize you have NOT been crazy for all these years. You are doing good, thank you for talking about it
You've got this! You're strong, determined, and unstoppable. You're now able to build a ladder for your life moving forward and that's the good in all this. You have all the support from us Nasties in your corner. Sending love and lots of healing your way!! 🌈👑🐷🌸🌻🌼
I thought I was the only one!!! 41 years 9 months and 9 days I filed for divorce. Thank you so much! I’m not crazy, I’m not bad, I can do things right! I am 61 years old and God willing if I have another 20 years I will be happy! THANK YOU!
I am in the same boat, nearly five years out of a 39 year marriage that was incredibly damaging, especially during the later years.The therapist that I saw, with the exception of 1, were just as bad as the marriage: one therapist even suggested that I needed to write a letter of apology to my X. It's very tough when the "cure" is worse than the dysfunction itself. I lost my Dad in 2017 as well. Much love to you. I hope that it won't take 20 more years.
I am leaving my narcissistic husband next month. I am done as well ..21 years of meanness, walking on eggshells, lying, .. telling me "that didn't happen" or " you don't care about anyone but yourself". ...never was it enough, I was always screwing up,.. it was always my fault...I workef 50+ hours a week, but I was the burden.. I AM DONE...
Get out. You are good and worthwhile. And you deserve joy and kindness. 💖 keep reminding urself. I believe in you. I've been there, I left after 24 years of abuse. You'll be okay! 🌻
I was with a narcissist for 21 years. 😱 Looking back, it was pure hell! I was also emotionally starved, verbally abused, and used as a slave, maid, chef, etc..
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists Yes, I am. Thank you for inquiring. It sounds weird but, what really helped me heal was knowing that there were never really any "good times or good memories" because he was a total fake and deceiving manipulator.
I cried through this entire video. I have been married to a narcissist for 28 years. I have just recently realized what a narcissist is, and it fits my husband to a T. I am now starting to plan an exit strategy, I am exhausted, terrorized, and a shell of a person. Thank you for sharing your story! You have no idea how much it helps to know I am not alone.
28 years for me too! My stbNex is a covert vulnerable narcissist. I have been no contact for 8 months now. The narcissist doesn't want to divorce you, he wants to destroy you. I had severe cognitive dissonance when I left, but can see it all clearly now. Feeling better everyday.
I felt the same before I left after 32 years. I even spent 3 days in a mental facility because I was so depleated. Of course i was also going through the menopause from hell and had been helping to care for my Mother who had dementia. Hang in there. I know for me I had to move to another state. I did not trust myself to beg for him to let me come back because I was so afraid to go out into the world alone. It has been hard. I am not going to lie but I never have regretted leaving him.. Not once.
I am watching this with my wife, narcissist, and she immediately goes into insulting me, cutting me deep and telling the lady on the video to suck it up and quit complaining. Then accuses me of being the narcissist and saying I'm watching this to find a victim that I can abuse. This is everyday with her. Non stop. I wanted her to watch this video so she could see what she is doing to me, but of course it backfired and im paying for it. I wish you all the luck in the world when moving forward with your life. You are a brave and courageous woman. I think this will inspire others to follow your footsteps.
Same happened with my partner, sent him a video of dr ramedi’s narcissistic traits.. I heard an earful for days that I didnt really know what narcissism really was. He was terrible, finally just ended things last night and blocking him today
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference! When your husband ignores you and neglects your emotional needs, is not supportive, doesn’t honor your feelings or intuition, and dumps all responsibilities on you. They want help all the time, but won’t help you. They’re super needy! Next level is verbal, when they can names, gaslight, and discount your concerns. Next is financial, either not working, or working and controlling all the money, or taking your money. Next is physical, when you bring up concerns they attack you. Or when they get angry, they just attack you cause they feel shitty. Get out early! They don’t change. Don’t fool yourself.
40 years with emotional abuse from my husband and I’m preparing my exit. I’m afraid and I’m weak. I’m getting more moral and emotional support before I proceed. It’s draining. I pray for us all that are suffering at the hands of these heartless people. I started understanding how to fight back 10 years ago. And he hates it- that I talk back- that I have an opinion. His day will come. 🙏🏼
45 years for me-- no contact for last five years. Have Separation papers signed and now waiting for him to sign the Divorce papers, if he ever does. He got his money- thats all he EVER cared about ! Leave him and be free! You will be so much happier and stress free of him.
30 years for me and now I am physically disabled after finally figuring out I was being abused by a narcissist who also happens to be a captain in a sheriffs dept.. I am trapped, no more friends or family...he isolated me over the years, nearly half my life wasted. It's amazing how I can relate to all of you. I had felt so alone. I am hugging all if you.
I want to thank each and everyone of y’all on this thread and to the woman in this video. Our pain and our stories are literally saving other women YEARS of their life by being able to recognize and identify these sickos and LEAVE before it’s too late. Too often we stay in these awful marriages to these men that are pure evil and mess with your mind and your emotions, you lose yourself and become a shell, a puppet for their amusement depending on their mood. We have to stand together women!!! I love y’all and know we will get through this!!!
It happens to men too. 24 years here. She is so right. You don't see it while you're in it. I did many of the things she said. Tried to save the marriage for the kids, marriage vows etc. It was only after I left 3 years ago I realized the extent of the abuse. My abuse was thankfully only emotional. She never got physical with me, but the wounds are still there and scars on my heart and soul.
17 years with my abuser. I didn't think I was abused either until I read this book. I thought, " Oh my God, that's me." We do need to talk more about this. You don't need bruises to be abused.
Mental abuse is just as worse as physical abuse sign Cynthia Smith the toxic person feels bad about themselves this is the reason that they talk mean to you i ask this person to stop using God name in vain he had it bad saying Gd i am a Christian and i felt it in the inside when he said this word did he stop what do you think sign Cynthia Smith
As an Empath I can feel your traumatization and also see myself trembly and shaky... emotionally broken with many tears. Pray for me as I try to get out. I will pray for you and your healing🙏 in Jesus name.
I'm so happy I found you because I thought I was going crazy. I am literally going through the same thing right now. I feel so alone because I'm not bruised no one seems to believe me. He is very friendly and charming to others but inside my home the mask comes off, he becomes Satan himself. You are giving me hope that I can become happy again. Thank you.
I was married only 3 years and lived with him 3 years and was so burned out I never remarried - it's been 25 years. He's on Wife #3. I cannot imagine being married to him any longer than that. I was a psychopath. His brother was the narcissist. They suck out/crush your spirit. I really don't want to get married again after that. No thanks. They are pure evil. They know what they are doing.
be glad you are brave enough to end it,,,, the daze is what they cause and want !! it will get better I had 35 in of his abuse, I never been happier they aim to destroy, living well is the best revenge!!! best of luck and real love.
I notice that when my spouse leaves the house I am able to think better and clearer I am able to get up and do my daily errans then if he where in the home I dont want to do anything or be home with him .
If you stay too long you wont be able to make decisions at all even after you leave. It's from having no power for so long you just let things happen . I couldnt make simple decisions .I'm not sure I can still. All you do is based on fear for so long you lose yourself. Be careful for your heart.
I’m speaking from a mother’s perspective because my daughter married a narcissist. We lost her soon after they met. He made sure that he severed our relationship. My daughter and I were really close but now we are very distant. It’s been a very big strain on us as a family. I hope and pray that one day she will be able to be free. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re a brave lady. I wish you all the very best.
I share all of the feelings you've expressed in this video. I left my abusive husband twice, and my family was embarrassed and horrified that I would leave my husband. To them, divorce is a sin. They said things like "what will we tell the neighbors?" Finally, after 25 years, I left for good, and disowned my family, as well, since they cared more about their "reputation" than about me. I've created my own new "family" and finally found peace. Be well.
Yup my family friends were his flying monkeys .. they aided and abetted in his torture , all cuz I’m from religious community etc .. and plus he was financially supporting them etc .. the severe amount of backstabbing is shocking !
I left after 32 years. I too had to leave everyone behind and moved to a different state. I had surrounded myself with narrcasists. My Sister helped me move to another state and then she moved in with my exhusband. Not romantically I don't think but to get cheap rent as her marriage was falling apart but still what a slap. I did write to her and tell her I would never do that to her no matter what because I know what her husband did to her. I asked her to please move out. She never wrote back. My neighbor that had been my best and really only friend for over 20 years was sitting accross the street texting my husband every item I was taking from the house when I moved out. Those two betrayals hurt almost more than leaving the abuser. I have just started counseling again. I have been very lonely and had suicidal thoughts. I am not super outgoing and stuggle to make friends. I would love to look for love but I have severe anxiety attacks when ever I decide to go on a dating site. I was looking into EHarmony not anything local. The fear is just still there. I too went to my first domestic violence group and said I am not sure if I am suppose to be here or not. I have done a lot of work through groups and believe I won't go back to being abused again but the wounds run so deep. In October it will be 6 years. Of course, he moved on right away. He was dating someone 4 months later. Someone the girlfriend of over 20 year set him up with. So angry that I am still struggling. So angry because I posted to FB some signs to look out for for domestic abuse and my ex husbands cousin pulled my daughter a side and she said I shouldn't be posting that kind of stuff on social media. I am so angry at these women who I thought loved mw have given me no support. Thank you for posting about this as most of my abuse was mental abuse as well. So damaging to our spirits and souls. I too kept thinking if I worked harder, tried more couples counseling, just tried to do everything he asked for. What I didn't realize is that he kept uping the ante and that it was impossible to every make him happy. So glad I got out but just struggling to rebuild.
@@joannepackus5736 Be strong , you can make it...You are very lucky not to be physically ill...Many of us have the emotional scars...Also , physically ill..High levels of cortisol..Release from stress can cause a number of many illnesses..Mine is an autoimmune disease and panic attacks...Praying for your success ...
‘Emotionally starved’ is right. I was with my ex husband for 23 years , three kids… ‘ Dismissive, uncaring, heartless’. ‘You’re going to try to fix it’… ‘ All the marriage counselors were a disaster’… same , same, same… ‘ Everyday you deal with invasive thoughts’ Great video!
I totally relate. Spent 21 years in a marriage where I felt like I was nothing but a piece of furniture. He wasn't verbally abusive for the most part. But I felt emotionally starved and sexually starved. And no matter how many times I tried to discuss my need for these things, nothing changed. Sometimes emotional abuse doesn't look like someone cutting you down. Sometimes it's them purposefully refusing to give you what you need to feel loved and valuable and close to them. Making you feel rejected and unlovable and unwanted. He seemed more like a distant roommate than a husband. Left when I found out he was cheating, along with many other lies.
This video really has hit home for me and as you were explaining my eyes filled with tears also. I was married to the (devil) for 33yrs. Together a total of 42 from high school. I was so young and knew nothing about healthy relationships. Today I’m free 3 grown children and grandchildren. Divorced for 3yrs but separated for 5 from (it)! Therapy helped me to keep living and my grandchildren most of all l just could not let them down. Today at 60 l can say l am finally THE REAL ME! I cry when l think of all the years l have given to please everyone else but MYSELF! Thank you for telling your story. I feel that here in Our world more needs to be taught on what a healthy relationship consists of. It does not always start at home. 💕. Blessings to all!
God your so lucky my X taught my kids I was the enemy told them not to listen to me go to school e c t I ended up loosing one over him and second he taught to abuse me I was so traumatised I couldn't let my second go he's now and adult and understands but I'm still in bits he told me for years he sat daily listening to my X teach him to hate me I lost my family over that evil pig and my mother was one who started the abuse I just don't know how I can heal after loosing so much
I’m 61 and have been married 36 years and I feel so stuck and too old to do anything. I don’t even keep in touch with friends anymore. I used to be able to express myself really well but feel dried out emotionally and spiritually too. I ask God to let me know if things are my fault because according to the husband everything that goes wrong is my fault. Money has always been a huge issue. Our only child is very successful and fiercely independent and vows she will never get married and says “I want to come and go as I please and spend as much time with my horses and no one will ever make me feel like I am selfish for the things I love to do!” Smart girl! She grew up seeing her father berate me and have his temper tantrums for the pettiest shit.
@@theresahron30 My son and i left my narcassist husband over 4 months ago ....we feel free now from the constant negative controlling brainwashing ...it will take time ..we gave up everything to do it and go back to my hometown many miles away ..he went raging crazy when i told him ...we did have to flee ....but now im glad ....
Go girl and dont look back! ! I did after 40 years..oh its hard BUT SOOOO WORTH freedom from exs twisted slow murdering of our soul and spirit.Jesus will help you as He has me...every step of the way...ask Him.There is Light at the end of the tunnel...its not a train!!
So glad you talked about this. I’m in the process of leaving a narcissist after 14 years of marriage. I feel like I have PTSD. Spot on!! I tried to fix it a million times and my feelings were never acknowledged
I hope you have a professional to help you navigate through your healing. It’s quite common to have C-PTSD. Having professional guidance will help greatly. Hugs and healing 💕
I'm a child of Narcissistic Parents. I was raised by Baby Boomers & if there's one-thing Millennials have been their entire existence is the human punching bag for the world's problems. I'm also the human punching bag for my family's problems & anything they can insult, ridicule, torment, gaslight, gangstalk & slander me for... THEY DO IT! I've never been in a relationship, I'm nearly 40 & still a virgin, why would I date a woman when she'll either be tormented too, she'll see the torment & think I deserve it if they hate me so much or thinks if I don't get along with my parents then I'm somehow "bad husband material"..... When you're almost 40 & never been married, never been in-love, no kids..... People see you as a freak. I've lost 99% of my friends due to my singleness & my parents just blame me for being "all these bad things"... They tell me to "just go & give it a go". But I shouldn't be learning how to date at 40, I should be learning how to date back when I was 14... Something I wasn't allowed to do... Oh, but my parents were allowed to explore themselves at 14 with lots of other people during the 1970s, because "it was different back then."
@@mrbillhilly343 look forward sir. not backwards. seize this moment. breathe deeply. calm yourself. slowly reclaim your self-confidence and empowerment because the sum total of your abuse has been to engineer your 'learned helplessness'. google that. it's a vital concept to grasp. keep the knowledge to yourself. go 'gray rock'. find strength in a growing understanding that you have been used and abused but you and only you can set you free. 1 step at a time. pace yourself. knowledge. self-empowerment. balance. freedom. perseverance. 🙏
@@islamzghoul7385 You can. You really can you have to have the strength to leave. It took me almost a year to leave. I had enough. You will, and you can.
I'm so glad lovely I wish you every happiness I'm finding the strength to leave after 20 years of marriage he's always treated me like garbage what scares me most is I don't ever want to make that mistake again..that's a real big fear for me and I'm so angry with myself for putting up with it, i feel my life is over now, and that's it I don't even know why I'm bothering with anything anymore I'm 48 my life is finished. No one wants a broken down 48 year old no one, I'm not pretty either, it's just too late now, I've accepted this is my lot in life I'm just not meant to be happy in anyway shape or form it's not on the cards for me...I've got real bad trust issues too..I just cant see myself trusting anyone ever .again let alone allow another person into my heart space..I've decided I'm going to help others in life instead I'm an empath and a humanitarian, this way I will never get hurt again.
It's very difficult to prove emotional abuse to those who have never went through it. I didn't know it was abuse for over 2 decades. I just kept trying and trying, giving more and more and getting less. Thank you for your story, it gives other folks the courage to do what is right for them. staying in a relationship just to receive more abuse is not love. it's insanity. narcissists can NOT be fixed. it takes a lot of courage to make the decision to walk away and it is NOT being selfish!!! In fact, being kind to yourself, maybe for the first time in god so many years.
@@bbdn5123 That's a GREAT question. How does one accept abuse? Where's the justice in all that? There were a lot of things I don't remember because he was a chaos creator; always kept the crazy making wheel spinning. However, my body remembers even tho my mind doesn't. Hmmm, interesting question.
"i didn't know it was abuse for 2 decades". because it felt familiar. you were raised with it so it feels 'normal'. that's how deep this core vulnerability runs - and it is why you will remain vulnerable to something similar again if you don't unlock it. i can help if you don't know what i mean or where to start. 🙏
As someone that has been in a relationship with a string of narcissists, I am sympathetic to what you went through. The key to ending my pattern of attracting narcissists was understanding MY role in enabling their behavior. Narcissists would have no victims if we all learned to recognize WHY we attract this toxic personality trait. And we DO attract and enable this behavior. WE have to break this cycle as THEY (the narcs) are not going to change. If we fool ourselves into believing “all will be well” if only we just learn to remove ourselves from narcissistic relationships AFTER it’s become a relationship, we’re missing the real solution and that is to learn what it is about US that attracts them in the first place. I wouldn’t blame a snake for biting me just like I no longer blame narcs for abusing me: it’s simply who they are. The key is to build our own self-esteem and learn how to set healthy boundaries. Doing so will make us immune to the next narcissist that attempts to come into our lives. Just know that although the narcissist in your life is now gone, the enabling narc-attractor is still in you and will remain so until you remove that weakness from who you are. There’s a reason why the abused will leave one narcissist only to find themselves with yet another narcissist in their next relationship if they dont do the work to fix themselves first. I wish you well and hope you continue in therapy until you’re relieved of this weakness. -Former serial narcissist victim.
@@backwoodsgeorgiagirl5594 yes, one solution is to throw the baby out with the bath water but you haven’t really fixed the real problem. It’s easy to just completely avoid ALL potential mates as it frees us from having to actually do the work to improve our own mindset and become emotionally healthy. In other words, you haven’t fixed the problem you’re just avoiding having to deal with it.
@@pjmrees pls get out I sound like a hypocrite because I still live with him but so im unhappy the only reason I haven't left I feel like I dont have ppl to support me and help I know it's hard to leave I'm going to take my chances and go stay with my possible narc mom who is very judgmental of and hasnt even called me.i feel broken and scared.😞
I was in a 33 year marriage 7 months ago I snapped and I left my narc husband I’m finally healing and finding myself I believe my God removed me from there I was in so much pain
32 years in and he discarded me - I now know it was a rescue mission from God to get him out of my life. I know exactly how you feel including the self-blindness and lack of knowledge or understanding from people because they can’t see our bruises. Getting dumped by friends, fellow Christians, etc because you’re no longer convenient and might actually ask for help! No one really wants to help - just move on we’re told. I know we’re not alone but try to find a support group for people like us - NONEXISTENT! Thanks for your video and I wish there was a way to connect and build a group.
Does anyone else notice how they will treat their blood family so much better and get jealous of you if their family starts enjoying a conversation with you and act out?
The guy I dated never showed emotions except about his mother. I also felt like he treated his family, with all the respect but treated me like I was not important. Then I would feel like the nagging claiming person and I do think he wanted to give me that feeling. Why is a riddle to me. He was abroad for work constantly texting me updates where he was at sharing his experiences etc. Then suddenly nothing. During four days. Eventually I cried and felt drained bc I was holding in my emotions towards him. Then I texted him. He said please I am not available now I al with my parents. I felt a mixture of arrogance,demeaning vibe and accusations that he was the good innocent guy and I was asking his attention. Im still figgering out if he did it on purpose or not. The day that I told him I ws done he rejected me when I said I felt like giving him a hug. His reply: I am not in a good mood now my leg is hurting. He said he was tested positive for Corona. Now I even feel guilty and worried if he's okay. That's the world upside down bc he won't care about my well being. They usually use nice caring words but sending caring words is so easy... Easy 'love'.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 That is how my husband is..when his family is around I didn't exist. Then we had kids and same thing unless he wanted to play good dad. I met mine young and honestly with my childhood there was no good male role model to know how a man should treat me. IF YOU ARE JUST DATING HIM...GET OUT NOW!! IT WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE!! They have mental problems..Get out of the relationship. I wish I understood it when I was young..now just waiting for my kids to get out of High School..If you stay you will end up with so much resentment and emotionally lonely.
My parents hated my Christian life. They hated me going to Church, hated Church & hated all my Christian friends. Now, I'm almost 40 & I hate going to Church because the married people in Church see me as a "problem".... Yeah, 40 year-old virgins are judged in Church, but the Tinder-chick with 4 boyfriends who acts Godly only on Sunday can't be "judged" for her pig-roasts. Also, why would I have a relationship with a sweet Christian woman who's going to be hated by my narcissistic parents, because I'm such a piece of garbage to my family that only another piece of garbage could love this piece of garbage..... Not worth the heartbreak.
@@mrbillhilly343 I am so sorry for what happened to you in the church, how ever don’t let the church hurt make you run from God, run to Him, He is a loving Father, certainly not judgmental, All He have for you is LOVE! His love is overwhelming, Go to Him please
This resonated with me. I recently divorced after 28 years. I became someone I never was before. He told me how jealous I was and that I hated his parents and a whole lot more. I finally realized that they were all lies. I was angry but with good reason, on and on. Anyways I am a much different person without his constant labeling me. Thank you for being vulnerable and making this channel.
Thank you for putting this out there. I just divorced in April this year from a marriage of 34 years of emotional, verbal and financial abuse. Then the last 5 years of his drinking and drug use. When I told him he was abusive he told me good luck proving that because You don’t have any bruises on your body to prove it. So they know what they are doing, they can be covertly abusive and no one will believe you because they are most definitely different in front of people. I hope that I can help people also going through this some day when I heal myself. You are an inspiration, thank you.
I'm stuck financially at the moment. I can't even tell you what day it is right now, one day just blends into the next when your in this situation because they don't give you anything to look forward to. I'm looking into some further education for financial independence .. than I can work on rewinding my life & get it back. Your video is all the support I have, (no family) but I feel stronger already! Thank you! (I friend requested you on Facebook) 🐇
johnnancy cislak I am living like you no family nothing even my dog is blind and I am heartbroken as he is all I have and it torments me don't feel alive like you each day is like a puff of smoke gone suddenly silent treatment ignores me but thanks to videos like this you start to understand the games they play s everyday make that baby step towards your financial independence you can do it. and there are so many ways to make money on the internet get out. find your beautiful self again!! go for it!! god bless
No, it's because they are pathetic, self absorbed, cowardly son of a b*tches who have no common sense. People can say they "care about you" all they want, but that doesn't mean anything. If you fucking gave a sh*t about me, why couldn't you have yanked me out of the situation instead of insisting that I should continue connecting with my toxic abuser who is OBVIOUSLY tearing up my mental health? These so called "caring" people wouldn't spit on you if your hair was caught on fire. Fuck em! 😡
Thank you for sharing your story I'm not a lone i was married for 34 years to a narcissists I made 10 children for him and I can relate to every single thing that you said in your story I'm now 54 and separated from 2 and a half years it's so so hard to get back on track I was fiscally mentally and emotionally abused it's really hard.
I’m currently going through this. It’s hard. It’s hard to get out and move on and much hurt as they bring. Today I finally kicked him out. It’s been going on for 13 years. I have been in abusive relationships for the past 20 years. Never again. I spot it so clearly now
I’m 24 when you said the word “smothered” nothing resonated better. These people are sick. I learned about narcissistic personality disorder in college and a few years after because it was interesting but when you’re in the situation you almost convince yourself that it’s not them it’s you. I’m so glad I’m waking up before it was too late. Truly frightening.
I tell you that is what I hate the most that I actually started to believe that I'm what he makes me out to be,I don't know if it makes sense what I'm trying to say,in the funny thing is one's he has put me down as far as possible (emotionally) when I start feeling like, don't you ever come close to me again, that's the point where he starts telling me how much I mean to him, and still tells me let's start over, just don't do the things anymore that make me mad,in here I'm giving him another chance,in it's been 23 years
I’m in tears!!!! I don’t know how to thank you for this video. I have been emotionally abused my kids have been manipulated. I became an alcoholic to numb all of the pain which we all know made things way worse. I am not in 12 step program which is still not good enough. He continues to threaten manipulate which some times I think I’m crazy. During one of my very bad black outs I punched my husband in the face. He had me arrested which was just devastating for my kids and I. I made so many emends by actions of getting help therapy. So many positive things from my sobriety but he continues to find things to manipulate put me down the whole process over and over again. My kids are now 22, 20 and 18. These poor kids don’t know what to think who yo believe it’s devastating. I have AA but I’m going through a back surgery feb24th. Going to recover at my moms house. I am going to contact lawyer to find out my rights. I am so scared but you inspired me. I can’t thank you enough for this video.I have had no life since my back. He is soooooo pissed off about me getting the surgery. I am appalled of the treatment from him since this back injury. I know it’s time for me to make a big decision. I have been raising my kids with jobs that allowed me to be home with them after school which scares me to death. I just don’t know how financially I can make it but I’m going to look into talking with an attorney to get some professional advice. Again thank for inspiring me & letting me and other woman know we are not alone. It’s real!!
I feel your pain. I was divorced after almost 27 years of marriage in May of this year. Unless someone has been there they can't understand. You are beautiful and may Father strengthen and bless you even more.
I'm in the process of divorcing my covert narcissistic husband after 33 yrs of marriage. We have 3 grown children and two little grandsons. So hard to think I actually stayed in this relationship as long as I did. But hopefully better days are ahead.
28. Yrs for me... trying to fix everything hadn't a clue about the narcissist/ empath relationship. Naive to the 3rd power. Still reviewing, regretting and imaging I could have fixed it. I know now she never was all in as a wife or mother...
Oh my goodness I can see you pain. I suffered alone and NEVER remarried. It's been 30 years. I have not gotten over the Pain ! I had hoped he would someday say he was sorry. I told HIM I was sorry for any thing I did wrong. Thank you for making your video. Please keep making more as it will help us heal.
Discover who you were meant to be, forgive yourself for tolerating it and make new memories. You will move forward in your healing. It doesn’t go away but it becomes less painful.
Thank you for your story. You are a beautiful person! I was married to one for 23 years. It's true, you don't know you are being abused until you are out of it and can finally see for yourself. I stayed until my son was 21 and grown so he wouldn't have to go through custody battles. I had a nervous break down and had to leave. I couldn't take one more day. I'm 11 years free. It took me 8 years to be able to talk about it without crying. He also cheated. The woman he's married to now, they were having an affair at least a year before I left. Thank God I printed out the phone records and have proof! There were other women as well. I had a feeling but I didn't want to deal with it because I was raising my son. I will never marry again. Mental Abuse - Emotional Abuse - Depression - they are all real
21 years married to mine...took being sick and having a heart attack that was completely ignored (told I was depressed and lazy) for me to realize the truth. I’ve emotionally distanced, have a psychotherapist but am stuck financially (more games they play) but just got a job and as soon as I can afford to be out on my own...I’m outta here! Maybe then I’ll find a support group and/or make a couple friends since I don’t have that at this point. Thank you for sharing! It’s inspiring to me that you’ve made it out and are healing! Very grateful! 🤘
There is hope! Not only do they have negative effects on our health, they don't take care of us when we are ill. However, the world has to stop spinning if they catch a cold. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I hope you can move quickly and steadily to an exit from the pain. Reach out any time. nmarie350@gmail.com
Me too! 1) left me for dead in a river after flipping our jet ski. 2) Fell asleep when I told him to call 911 because I was having a heart attack. 3) Left me alone while I was in anaphylaxis so he could go to work. Evil.
Thanks for your story. I've been emotionally abused by my wife for about 4 years now. We have a 1 year old son between us as I write this and it's been worse since his arrival.
My “sentence” was 20 years; mine is not only a narcissist but a sociopath. I could be you; its so very hard to recover; I spent 3 years in therapy and I still have PTSD. When you say people don’t care; so true, some of my family members said “Get over it.” Wishing you and everyone else who has suffered at the hands of narcissist healing and happiness. ❤
Dont cry, u r still young and u deserve a better man who values u. And u would not find him if u did not get rid of this monster. I wish u all the best
What about what the Bible says that the Lord commands a Wife not to leave her Husband but if she does, she is to remain single or be reconciled. It says Wives are not to depart their Husbands :/ except for sexual immorality and no man can marry a woman who is divorced
@@clairebearie87 what is this nonsense,.? !!! 2021 is the now theses words are not realistic in today’s world. don’t be naive and live a fruitful healthy life. go with these words ..... be kind , be true, treat others the way you want to be treated. Kindly Marcelyne xx
I so feel your tears... a lot of them come from realizing you gave REAL love to someone who never gave real love to you. And that love doesn't just disappear. And it hurts to know that you will never be able to make it real either. You just have to move forward. And the damage they caused you to have to now repair. It's super upsetting.
Bravo!! I commend your courage and strength to voice what so many of us secretly would love to do…expose the person who gets pleasure from dimming our light and making us question who we are. I have been divorced for almost 15 years and I will tell you the first 10 years of divorce was a continuation of abuse. Threatening to not pay child support, tell me what a horrible mother I am, that he’s tired of supporting me and the kids, blah blah blah….5 years ago is when I made the decision that I wasn’t going to give him any more power, and I took it back. People have no idea what it is like behind closed doors with a narcissist, and most don’t believe any of the stories…they are so good at masking who they really are. You are an amazing woman, you are strong, you are brave and you deserve to be whole. Peaceful heart ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. So many are going through what you just described. Exposing who they really are helps to break the cycle of abuse. Hugs and healing 🤍
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I am caught in my own abusive relationship currently but it's nice to know I am not alone. One important thing you mentioned is not being educated on the subject enough to be able to identify someone is truly abusing you. Ive been spending so much time believing all the negative things my partner has said about me trying relentlessly to please hoping one day I can be treated like a human. You are a true inspiration and the info you're providing is heaven sent. I'll keep watching and learning as well as building my confidence. I feel stronger after watching these videos like maybe spiritually I have support. Good luck to you!
Save your money, never tell them about your plans and when you will be ready :Run! Never give him another chance, ales you want to waste next 20 years like me. Hugs
I was with my narc 24 years married 14. Got out last year, omg it’s been so hard. Having already suffering with mental health problems anyway, added by the abuse I now have anxiety and PTSD. Thank you for sharing your story xxx
Narcissists all do the same thing. Why are we not taught to watch for this early in life. 1) love bomb 2) pretend affection 3) pretend love 4) slow gas lighting 5) devalue and destroy 6) blame the other one. This sequence happens to many people in a marriage. Just don't marry because you may get one of these.
I was married for 34 years. Got married at 21. Had absolutely no clue about personality disorders back then, no one talked about it. Nowadays everyone is talking about it. Living with him was like living under a cloud, a thunder cloud. No joy, ever. I kept hoping and praying that things would get better and that he'd suddenly miraculously gain an appreciation of what he had and then one day, I woke up to the fact that I could never give enough. I had nothing left to give.
@@sueheller They suck the life out of you and you don't even know who you are anymore and they wonder why you aren't the same person you were when they married you....they need to look in the mirror to see the monster they are...of course to them they are perfect and you aren't ever going to be good enough for them.😬 So happy I'm free and away from the crazy man I married years ago...23 years was a lifetime to spend with the wrong person.😨
I care. When I watched this, I felt your pain, because it’s mine. The no one cares has been the hardest part for me. It’s like no one gets it and I’m walking through a minefield of my own mind. Thank you for sharing.
Me too and I'm going to get out of my I've been married since March the 3rd 2015 to him and it's been nothing but hell if a man can call you a b**** everyday and think he's better than you I'm moving on I'm not putting up with this anymore he calls me names everything people just wouldn't believe how he talks to me
Thank you for sharing your experience. So many people will benefit from your story. It’s definitely helping me. The healing process could also be painful. You are doing it!!!
The tears eventually become less...therapy is crucial. Completely cutting off contact is necessary. One day we’ll wake up and feel the light & happiness that the narcissist stole. 🥰
I left my husband after 37 years last August . I was raised by a Mom with overt narcissistic characteristics and married a man with covert narcissistic characteristics. Obviously they weren’t diagnosed and I’ve suppressed my emotions for years. Only now am I recognizing really how much I’ve suppressed my emotions. When you described yourself in this video you described me. I’m anxious to see more of your videos.
I finally escaped my 11 year marriage from my extremely narcissistic husband. He put me through hell for the next 10 years and got custody of my young daughter. I was an empty shell when I left, afraid to go outside on my own. Looking back, wow! All family and friends believe I'm a bad person and he's an angel.... still to this day. He is sooo cunning. I'm almost myself again... I could write a book on my experience... thank you for sharing. You will heal hun. I'm sorry you went through that, and all the other people that are going through it now or have scraped the little strength they're left with to get out. The sun is bright and the skies are blue once you're out... I pray for you.
You stuck it out because you have values. You value marriage and family life. You are to be commended for lasting so long. Hope you find the happiness you deserve.
Thank you for sharing. I'm going, STILL going thru this after 45 years. I'm still here. Don't know how, but here I am. It's a wild ride for sure! Videos like this and others have really hit home for me. But I've learned so much too!! It amazes me how much narcs are so much alike!!!! I'm stuck here....cannot leave. No money, no car keys...and drivers license expired. He loves it!!!! If it's mentioned, he goes into his famous rage, which I've learned to ignore. He's always the victim......always. The only time I'm out of this house is for family birthdays. And that's when he acts like such a great guy......in front of others. I've called him out several times. But I know I'll pay for it as soon as we get alone. I'm just thankful he doesn't hit me. But his rages have given me such anxiety that my blood pressure is at stroke stage. And he ignores that too. His hangnail was much more important!!! It's sad that no one else can see this! Even our 2 grown kids!! Our daughter thinks he's the best!!! And he IS.......to her. Our son has seen and heard his nasty side and ignores him, shaking his head. I'm here for the long haul.....til HIS death us do part!!! Until then, it's grey rock all the way!! Thanks again brave lady!!
Girl I know what you are saying , but my two children that are adults knows because he treated them like that when they were younger and when they left home , he started on me . It’s really just heartbreaking, my husband is in a wheelchair and I have to help him with everything and when his health goes down the worse he gets . I thought after his last health crisis he might end up in a home , but it didn’t happen . I have prayed for him for years and he died three times in March of this year and God has given him another chance, but you can’t tell that he has changed at all . For the first few weeks it looked like maybe , but now he’s the same person .
one thought......he may wear you down and it will be your death. this is what im facing after 52 yrs. of him sucking me dry emotionally and physically.
I am sorry u r going g threw this. I am in the same situation u are In. After 42 years Both sons adults are covert NARCISSISTS .like their Father now,treats me like their Father Keep searching for help Abuse center or crisis center Can help from housing,legal advise Ect.dont give up YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Even if you can't leave physical--- it's still important to acknowledge the truth and find ways of thriving in a difficult situation. Wish you all the best. God bless.
You. Are. So. Brave. Thank you. This is beautiful and so helpful. Bless you, and your family. Stay strong. Keep up the great work! You’re doing better than you think you are.
I am so proud of you for being so brave, for sharing, for reaching out to others, and for getting your own healing. I can relate to everything you’re saying. It’s very difficult to face when you don’t think you’ve been a victim and find out that you have been extremely victimized. Seeking the truth can be scary but it is the only way to Freedom. Thank you again and blessings.
Forgive yourself !!! Your pain is visible!!! You didn’t realize narcissist monsters existed!!! I did this for 28 years !!! The pain is unreal . Much love to you .
I ran from my narc husband and I can honestly say that I really feel your pain. And became emotional while watching. Dealing with all of the aftermath of the abuse has been a very lonely and torturous process. Thank you so much for posting.
Thank you for sharing and watching. I hope you have someone to talk to. To guide you through the healing process. I promise, it gets better. Hugs and healing💕
I was married to a narcissist wife for 13 years. Same here, before she left, she said 'you have to be modern about it'. I was blessed with no kids. She found a job outside my country and just left. Be strong 💪 build yourself into the best that you can ever be.
@@noellelove3203 - before she left - ‘you have to be modern about it ‘, with all respect, a true respectable woman should take care of her husband especially if he really cares about her. Women who hate their fathers, cannot have any true relationship with a man. I’m in a relationship with another victim from a narcissistic husband, trying to build lives together from the pieces left behind.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are strong, smart, and beautiful. Although the road to recovery from a narcissist is hard and in a sense a lifetime challenge, your life is going to be better and brighter by each day.
I thank you for your courage and bravery for speaking out on such a hard topic and Subject. Stay strong. You will get better. Healing is A journey Don't Give up.
Thanks. I never thought I was a victim til recently. Especially because when abused, I would defend myself, my actions or inactions or my intentions which would cause more fighting.Then I saw myself as part of the problem. I stayed together for everyone else when I was hurt, starved of emotion, criticized, ridiculed, scolded as a child.
13 years of being unhappy. I was stuck didn't know how to get out. until I found him at pub with a random lady. my excuse waking up call....had no remorse. I changed became a different person ever since. once your successful and don't need his bullshit they want to come back ...14 years of divorce his still trying to look for a new me...now he wants to come back....NO
Thank you for sharing the everyday mechanics of such a relationship - it helps those of us who didn't go through with such a relationship, see as to what the future would have been like. The smothering of emotions does happen and you end up becoming more unrefined in your expression. The resulting resentment that's pent up inside makes you act like a caged animal - because you have to fight for everything, for them to even recognize your basic needs.
I’m in my 1st week of No Contact...I spent 9 years with my abuser and this is the 5th time I am leaving him and as God is my witness it will be my last, I am educating myself and consulting a therapist...thank you for your videos, it’s so helpful to see a “regular” person who has gone through what I am going through and has been successful. Thank you 🙏🏼
What an amazing lady! Incredibly brave and inspiring to see! I’m so glad you got out of that poison and are thriving now..blessings to you and your family! 😊🤟
Thank you so much for taking the time to post this. Not only are you making a community for people in similar situations but you are also preventing others from enduring similar traumas. I wish you the best in your further healing.
Your story mirrors mine in every way. I thought, wow, we have the exact same story.. except it was my mother who died. I just read a book that explains that narcissists don't go after weak people. There is no challenge there. They go after the strong ones. They need to tear them down to feel powerful and strong themselves. We make lemonade out of lemons. We are adaptable. We are kind. That is why they chose us. I feel that my pain is just brushed aside by others. They cannot see the devastation within my soul. I truly believe they don't want to see either. That includes family, friends even some of the counselors. It leaves you feeling hollowed out and devastated. How do we feel whole again? How do I get back the joy? I have been very intentional in my recovery for the past two years. I read and educate myself. I make changes where I find that it is needed in me and my behaviors and perceptions. Some days I just feel that being whole is a fantasy from my past. Thank your for your courage.
As bizarre as it may sounds....when you're in it, even though you feel something is wrong and you've been neglected, taken for granted, ignored, invalidated, manipulated, and unheard constantly, you DO NOT realise that is EMOTIONAL ABUSE.
Exactly. I would even worry if I accused him falsely and then felt like I betrayed him. Or I feel sorry for him bc he has no or little emotions. It was a connection via dating but I loved him from my heart.
I still do but last weekend I snapped after another rejecting attitude. It felt like a knife through my heart. I cried under the shower, upset again
After that my anger came up and I told him that I couldn't take his humiliating attitude anymore, wished him the best and removed him from my phone list.
This time he also removed me and that's when I panicked and cried from feeling sad
I feel so attached to him even though I once felt a form of agression when I was with him and I told him it was abnormal behavior. He would be silent if I confronted him.
Next day he would text asking me how I was doing so he ignored me expressions and I would be glad that he wasn't angry at me and still in my phone and happy to be connected .
There was no full peace, it was like a constant stress vs relief and fear he would be gone. It's bizarre how quickly I got attached so strongly.
And some may say that's not real but I know for sure from my side it was is love but I'm sending it to a stone wall.
I guess it was about power and control.
Well he's gone now.
I feel alone and when another kind man would get serious me now I feel like looking for safety with him, as if he is my brother that I never had. So weird but this is how I feel.
While he didn't treat me with respect at moments and even reacted agressive when I said no.
That's crazy I am a free person I have my house work, I sport I call myself independent but I accept boundary crossing behavior and I look for protection from an unpredictable assh.
I now miss the messages then my pride comes up telling me he misses me too for sure.
Well I focus on the blessing: I can find rest now and no more sudden hurtful words, frustration.
I also feel angry in moments bc I feel used or I think about things he said or did.
Overall I'm calm.
This was not even a full relationship but I felt connected in my heart and lately
I kept seeing a vision of a siamese twin attached to my right shoulder.
There are many of these people with a nice attitude, gentle and playing thoughtful but sooner or later attacked on your heart, emotions, silent treatments, sarcasm and insults will show up.
My door is closed.
I don't feel like that tbh. I hope to see his text message still in the morning but I declare that my door is closed.
I literally told him that I am going to heal my heart and go my own way. He wished me goodluck.
I don't know if I felt sarcasm or if it's my own distrust.
Manipulation is married to confusion.
exactly and I didn't even know what emotional abuse was...it was like feeling I lived in a serial life I couldn't explain.
Exactly. 24 years of the insanity and like you I knew something was very wrong but my limited thinking ability kept me from getting out. He had convinced me that it was me. It was him all along!
That's because the abuse they do brainwashing you, so that's why you are in a fog and you know it's not right but you stay.
Married 16 years to a narcissist. When I would start to come out of the fog and sense that this is beyond typical problems, friends, relatives and others would excuse or minimized it which made me doubt myself again. People that have not lived with a narcissist cannot comprehend what it's like.
😞 it is surreal when you hear other people’s stories and how similar they are to your own, but it also helps you realize you have NOT been crazy for all these years. You are doing good, thank you for talking about it
Hey Martina. Here some Emoji that make me smile to help you build a ladder for today. ❤️🥨✨🌸🎉🎊💝💐🌹🥀🌷🌺🌸🏵️🌻🌼💮🌈☃️🌅🌇🐰🐭🐼🦄🦑🐙🐳🐧🦉🦔
You've got this! You're strong, determined, and unstoppable. You're now able to build a ladder for your life moving forward and that's the good in all this. You have all the support from us Nasties in your corner. Sending love and lots of healing your way!! 🌈👑🐷🌸🌻🌼
We believe you!
We believe you and support you 💕💓🐷👑
Lots of us believe you, Martina 💖💖💖
I’m so sorry this was your life for so long
I thought I was the only one!!! 41 years 9 months and 9 days I filed for divorce. Thank you so much! I’m not crazy, I’m not bad, I can do things right! I am 61 years old and God willing if I have another 20 years I will be happy! THANK YOU!
Amen❤❤
I am in the same boat, nearly five years out of a 39 year marriage that was incredibly damaging, especially during the later years.The therapist that I saw, with the exception of 1, were just as bad as the marriage: one therapist even suggested that I needed to write a letter of apology to my X. It's very tough when the "cure" is worse than the dysfunction itself. I lost my Dad in 2017 as well. Much love to you. I hope that it won't take 20 more years.
You’re not a victim my dear , you are a survivor ❤️
That's right a survivor
I am leaving my narcissistic husband next month. I am done as well ..21 years of meanness, walking on eggshells, lying, .. telling me "that didn't happen" or " you don't care about anyone but yourself". ...never was it enough, I was always screwing up,.. it was always my fault...I workef 50+ hours a week, but I was the burden..
I AM DONE...
Hello how are you doing 😊😊😊😊☺️
May God be with you!
How're you doing now days? I'm trying to get the strength to leave a similar situation.
@@kjm1529 praying for right now, ask God to help you, to give you strength. Philippians 4:11-13
Get out. You are good and worthwhile. And you deserve joy and kindness. 💖 keep reminding urself. I believe in you. I've been there, I left after 24 years of abuse. You'll be okay! 🌻
I was with a narcissist for 21 years. 😱 Looking back, it was pure hell! I was also emotionally starved, verbally abused, and used as a slave, maid, chef, etc..
You speak of it in past tense so I can only hope you are free of the abuse…thriving and healing ❤️🩹
Ooh God v sad ,hope now you are at peace ✌️🕊️
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists Yes, I am. Thank you for inquiring. It sounds weird but, what really helped me heal was knowing that there were never really any "good times or good memories" because he was a total fake and deceiving manipulator.
My experience exactly. 21 years of emotional starvation and torture. I am 3 years post divorce and healing gradually.
Same here😭😭😭
I cried through this entire video. I have been married to a narcissist for 28 years. I have just recently realized what a narcissist is, and it fits my husband to a T. I am now starting to plan an exit strategy, I am exhausted, terrorized, and a shell of a person. Thank you for sharing your story! You have no idea how much it helps to know I am not alone.
Because you can still "feel" it's not too late. It's when you are without feeling anything anymore you're done.
28 years for me too! My stbNex is a covert vulnerable narcissist. I have been no contact for 8 months now. The narcissist doesn't want to divorce you, he wants to destroy you. I had severe cognitive dissonance when I left, but can see it all clearly now. Feeling better everyday.
Trust me, you are NOT alone!!! We will heal!💞💞💞💞We are stronger than we even know! God is carrying me thru each day.
I felt the same before I left after 32 years. I even spent 3 days in a mental facility because I was so depleated. Of course i was also going through the menopause from hell and had been helping to care for my Mother who had dementia. Hang in there. I know for me I had to move to another state. I did not trust myself to beg for him to let me come back because I was so afraid to go out into the world alone. It has been hard. I am not going to lie but I never have regretted leaving him.. Not once.
God bless you hope you are healing 🙏🏼
I am watching this with my wife, narcissist, and she immediately goes into insulting me, cutting me deep and telling the lady on the video to suck it up and quit complaining. Then accuses me of being the narcissist and saying I'm watching this to find a victim that I can abuse. This is everyday with her. Non stop. I wanted her to watch this video so she could see what she is doing to me, but of course it backfired and im paying for it. I wish you all the luck in the world when moving forward with your life. You are a brave and courageous woman. I think this will inspire others to follow your footsteps.
Seems you didn’t get the memo. You never let on to a narcissist that you’re onto them. Best to just leave quietly.
Same happened with my partner, sent him a video of dr ramedi’s narcissistic traits.. I heard an earful for days that I didnt really know what narcissism really was. He was terrible, finally just ended things last night and blocking him today
Me? No, you!
@@chipgore6714 troll.
@@beesinthegardensthey are 😈
The opposite of love isn’t hate, it’s indifference! When your husband ignores you and neglects your emotional needs, is not supportive, doesn’t honor your feelings or intuition, and dumps all responsibilities on you. They want help all the time, but won’t help you. They’re super needy! Next level is verbal, when they can names, gaslight, and discount your concerns. Next is financial, either not working, or working and controlling all the money, or taking your money. Next is physical, when you bring up concerns they attack you. Or when they get angry, they just attack you cause they feel shitty. Get out early! They don’t change. Don’t fool yourself.
Exactly True!
🎯
Wow my situtation.
clarice star well said absolutely true lady
Well said 100% true. I left just after 5 months of marriage because I saw no future with his abuse.
40 years with emotional abuse from my husband and I’m preparing my exit. I’m afraid and I’m weak. I’m getting more moral and emotional support before I proceed. It’s draining. I pray for us all that are suffering at the hands of these heartless people. I started understanding how to fight back 10 years ago. And he hates it- that I talk back- that I have an opinion. His day will come. 🙏🏼
You are stronger than you know
Wow. I’m out after 29 years. No contact is best.
your not weak you can do it
45 years for me-- no contact for last five years. Have Separation papers signed and now waiting for him to sign the Divorce papers, if he ever does. He got his money- thats all he EVER cared about ! Leave him and be free! You will be so much happier and stress free of him.
30 years for me and now I am physically disabled after finally figuring out I was being abused by a narcissist who also happens to be a captain in a sheriffs dept.. I am trapped, no more friends or family...he isolated me over the years, nearly half my life wasted. It's amazing how I can relate to all of you. I had felt so alone. I am hugging all if you.
I want to thank each and everyone of y’all on this thread and to the woman in this video. Our pain and our stories are literally saving other women YEARS of their life by being able to recognize and identify these sickos and LEAVE before it’s too late. Too often we stay in these awful marriages to these men that are pure evil and mess with your mind and your emotions, you lose yourself and become a shell, a puppet for their amusement depending on their mood. We have to stand together women!!! I love y’all and know we will get through this!!!
❤
The gender is interchangeable. Both men and women can be the nac abuser.
I lost myself completely but slowly I am coming back.
It happens to men too. 24 years here. She is so right. You don't see it while you're in it. I did many of the things she said. Tried to save the marriage for the kids, marriage vows etc. It was only after I left 3 years ago I realized the extent of the abuse. My abuse was thankfully only emotional. She never got physical with me, but the wounds are still there and scars on my heart and soul.
Not just women, it is no respecter of income level, race, sex, whatever.
17 years with my abuser. I didn't think I was abused either until I read this book. I thought, " Oh my God, that's me." We do need to talk more about this. You don't need bruises to be abused.
The complete unawareness is such a frightening concept. I’m determined to keep shedding light on this abuse.
Hugs and healing 💕
What book?
@@amykyns15 yes! What book?
Can you tell me what book please? Blessings
Mental abuse is just as worse as physical abuse sign Cynthia Smith the toxic person feels bad about themselves this is the reason that they talk mean to you i ask this person to stop using God name in vain he had it bad saying Gd i am a Christian and i felt it in the inside when he said this word did he stop what do you think sign Cynthia Smith
Constantly trying to get you to believe that something is wrong with you, yet refuses to leave you alone. 26 years here!
Yep. .that's what they do...they always say...what's wrong with you? ..but absolutely nothing is wrong with us...its a control issue
27 here. With you in thought for sure.
So true I was with my ex for 14 years I kicked him out last week and I've never felt so alive.
I would always say....we need to work on this and he would say.."I'm fine"..and just look at me as if it was all my fault....every.single.time
27 here.
Thank you! No one understands the damage the narcissistic does.
You're welcome! No, they don't. It adds to the frustration of going through the abuse. Thank you for watching and sharing ~ N
True. No body can understand the damage caused by these crazy people, unless you have experienced it.
Until they experience it. 🙁
Actually if you haven't seen it, lived it. Others will never really see your point. Its no way they can
You can not understand unless you have exoerienced it. Its to difficult to explain, just to dsrn odd. No normal!
As an Empath I can feel your traumatization and also see myself trembly and shaky... emotionally broken with many tears. Pray for me as I try to get out. I will pray for you and your healing🙏 in Jesus name.
I hope you got out✝️❣
In Jesus name it will be done
If you empathize with a psychopath you will lose yourself. warning.
I'm so happy I found you because I thought I was going crazy. I am literally going through the same thing right now. I feel so alone because I'm not bruised no one seems to believe me. He is very friendly and charming to others but inside my home the mask comes off, he becomes Satan himself. You are giving me hope that I can become happy again. Thank you.
You’re definitely not alone. I hope you can get out soon. Run for the hills!!
You can be happy alone sis Get out while you still canbreath
@@franciscokanga5718 Thank you! I'm getting closer to that goal.
They are 😈
Yes Satan himself..... It shall be well.
I believe my marriage is ending. I have been with him 39 years. I feel like I am in a daze. Thank you for coming forth and sharing
Daveda Lane 43 yrs here. exhausted
almost 20 and i am so sad.
I hope you know you have u support and it inspires you to move on.
I was married only 3 years and lived with him 3 years and was so burned out I never remarried - it's been 25 years. He's on Wife #3. I cannot imagine being married to him any longer than that. I was a psychopath. His brother was the narcissist. They suck out/crush your spirit. I really don't want to get married again after that. No thanks. They are pure evil. They know what they are doing.
be glad you are brave enough to end it,,,, the daze is what they cause and want !! it will get better I had 35 in of his abuse, I never been happier they aim to destroy, living well is the best revenge!!! best of luck and real love.
I notice that when my spouse leaves the house I am able to think better and clearer I am able to get up and do my daily errans then if he where in the home I dont want to do anything or be home with him .
Prayers for you and your family!! With God All things are possible pray for him sweetie 🙏🏾
Same
Pretty much says it all doesn't it?
Same why’s it?
If you stay too long you wont be able to make decisions at all even after you leave. It's from having no power for so long you just let things happen . I couldnt make simple decisions .I'm not sure I can still. All you do is based on fear for so long you lose yourself. Be careful for your heart.
35 yrs for me in a marriage of narcissistic abuse. Congratulations to us all for surviving!!!
Thank you!!
I’m speaking from a mother’s perspective because my daughter married a narcissist. We lost her soon after they met. He made sure that he severed our relationship. My daughter and I were really close but now we are very distant. It’s been a very big strain on us as a family. I hope and pray that one day she will be able to be free.
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re a brave lady. I wish you all the very best.
I share all of the feelings you've expressed in this video. I left my abusive husband twice, and my family was embarrassed and horrified that I would leave my husband. To them, divorce is a sin. They said things like "what will we tell the neighbors?" Finally, after 25 years, I left for good, and disowned my family, as well, since they cared more about their "reputation" than about me. I've created my own new "family" and finally found peace. Be well.
Good for you! “Family” isn’t always people you are related to. I too, had to figure that out. Thank you so much for sharing!!
Hugs and healing 💕
Yup my family friends were his flying monkeys .. they aided and abetted in his torture , all cuz I’m from religious community etc .. and plus he was financially supporting them etc .. the severe amount of backstabbing is shocking !
Thank you
I left after 32 years. I too had to leave everyone behind and moved to a different state. I had surrounded myself with narrcasists. My Sister helped me move to another state and then she moved in with my exhusband. Not romantically I don't think but to get cheap rent as her marriage was falling apart but still what a slap. I did write to her and tell her I would never do that to her no matter what because I know what her husband did to her. I asked her to please move out. She never wrote back. My neighbor that had been my best and really only friend for over 20 years was sitting accross the street texting my husband every item I was taking from the house when I moved out. Those two betrayals hurt almost more than leaving the abuser. I have just started counseling again. I have been very lonely and had suicidal thoughts. I am not super outgoing and stuggle to make friends. I would love to look for love but I have severe anxiety attacks when ever I decide to go on a dating site. I was looking into EHarmony not anything local. The fear is just still there. I too went to my first domestic violence group and said I am not sure if I am suppose to be here or not. I have done a lot of work through groups and believe I won't go back to being abused again but the wounds run so deep. In October it will be 6 years. Of course, he moved on right away. He was dating someone 4 months later. Someone the girlfriend of over 20 year set him up with. So angry that I am still struggling. So angry because I posted to FB some signs to look out for for domestic abuse and my ex husbands cousin pulled my daughter a side and she said I shouldn't be posting that kind of stuff on social media. I am so angry at these women who I thought loved mw have given me no support. Thank you for posting about this as most of my abuse was mental abuse as well. So damaging to our spirits and souls. I too kept thinking if I worked harder, tried more couples counseling, just tried to do everything he asked for. What I didn't realize is that he kept uping the ante and that it was impossible to every make him happy. So glad I got out but just struggling to rebuild.
@@joannepackus5736 Be strong , you can make it...You are very lucky not to be physically ill...Many of us have the emotional scars...Also , physically ill..High levels of cortisol..Release from stress can cause a number of many illnesses..Mine is an autoimmune disease and panic attacks...Praying for your success ...
When you're talking to your husband who doesn't respond. Like no facial expressions, ect.
Two minutes later his phone rings. He's laughing, ect.
☹️
Learning as I go I totally relate to this
Wtf this is my life
I have been experiencing this and I always feel dumb.
True..my husband does this and i end up feeling numb and 😥...
Totally relate . His friends (that treat him like crap) are the best things evee
‘Emotionally starved’ is right. I was with my ex husband for 23 years , three kids…
‘ Dismissive, uncaring, heartless’.
‘You’re going to try to fix it’…
‘ All the marriage counselors were a disaster’… same , same, same…
‘ Everyday you deal with invasive thoughts’
Great video!
🙏🏼
Therapists and Lawyers cannot handle what you went through and going through.
My Divorce lasted 6 years. Demonic forces they are.
I totally relate. Spent 21 years in a marriage where I felt like I was nothing but a piece of furniture. He wasn't verbally abusive for the most part. But I felt emotionally starved and sexually starved. And no matter how many times I tried to discuss my need for these things, nothing changed. Sometimes emotional abuse doesn't look like someone cutting you down. Sometimes it's them purposefully refusing to give you what you need to feel loved and valuable and close to them. Making you feel rejected and unlovable and unwanted. He seemed more like a distant roommate than a husband. Left when I found out he was cheating, along with many other lies.
This video really has hit home for me and as you were explaining my eyes filled with tears also. I was married to the (devil) for 33yrs. Together a total of 42 from high school.
I was so young and knew nothing about healthy relationships. Today I’m free 3 grown children and grandchildren. Divorced for 3yrs but separated for 5 from (it)! Therapy helped me to keep living and my grandchildren most of all l just could not let them down. Today at 60 l can say l am finally THE REAL ME! I cry when l think of all the years l have given to please everyone else but MYSELF! Thank you for telling your story. I feel that here in Our world more needs to be taught on what a healthy relationship consists of. It does not always start at home. 💕. Blessings to all!
God your so lucky my X taught my kids I was the enemy told them not to listen to me go to school e c t I ended up loosing one over him and second he taught to abuse me I was so traumatised I couldn't let my second go he's now and adult and understands but I'm still in bits he told me for years he sat daily listening to my X teach him to hate me I lost my family over that evil pig and my mother was one who started the abuse I just don't know how I can heal after loosing so much
Reg wow i’m truly sorry about your experience. i hope you heal from the trauma and your relationship with your child improves
I am still with him I need help I have been with him since 94
Truly wonderful! I can relate to your words and this women in the video I am learning thank you too for sharing your testimony
I'm 64...ive three amazing kids, so I don't regret it.. Glad to be free!!!! The peace is amazing!!!!!
Consider thinking of yourself more as a 'target' of a predator, than a 'victim', it will help you accept.
I agree wholeheartedly with this; very important to get past feeling like a victim. More like "survivor," in a manner of speaking.
Your right you don’t need to be a victim it’s how you see yourself
Agree..
Yes we predators.. its up to us to stop being one
I agree
I’m 58 years old and everything you’re describing is exactly what I’m going through. It’s just so scary to make the move.
I understand, for me, the thought of living the rest of my life with the miserable human being was even scarier.
Prayers and hugs ~ N
I’m 61 and have been married 36 years and I feel so stuck and too old to do anything. I don’t even keep in touch with friends anymore. I used to be able to express myself really well but feel dried out emotionally and spiritually too. I ask God to let me know if things are my fault because according to the husband everything that goes wrong is my fault. Money has always been a huge issue. Our only child is very successful and fiercely independent and vows she will never get married and says “I want to come and go as I please and spend as much time with my horses and no one will ever make me feel like I am selfish for the things I love to do!” Smart girl! She grew up seeing her father berate me and have his temper tantrums for the pettiest shit.
@@theresahron30 My son and i left my narcassist husband over 4 months ago ....we feel free now from the constant negative controlling brainwashing ...it will take time ..we gave up everything to do it and go back to my hometown many miles away ..he went raging crazy when i told him ...we did have to flee ....but now im glad ....
I'm same age girl go for a walk and get a cab to women's shelter
Go girl and dont look back! ! I did after 40 years..oh its hard BUT SOOOO WORTH freedom from exs twisted slow murdering of our soul and spirit.Jesus will help you as He has me...every step of the way...ask Him.There is Light at the end of the tunnel...its not a train!!
So glad you talked about this. I’m in the process of leaving a narcissist after 14 years of marriage. I feel like I have PTSD.
Spot on!! I tried to fix it a million times and my feelings were never acknowledged
I hope you have a professional to help you navigate through your healing. It’s quite common to have C-PTSD. Having professional guidance will help greatly. Hugs and healing 💕
I'm a child of Narcissistic Parents. I was raised by Baby Boomers & if there's one-thing Millennials have been their entire existence is the human punching bag for the world's problems. I'm also the human punching bag for my family's problems & anything they can insult, ridicule, torment, gaslight, gangstalk & slander me for... THEY DO IT! I've never been in a relationship, I'm nearly 40 & still a virgin, why would I date a woman when she'll either be tormented too, she'll see the torment & think I deserve it if they hate me so much or thinks if I don't get along with my parents then I'm somehow "bad husband material"..... When you're almost 40 & never been married, never been in-love, no kids..... People see you as a freak. I've lost 99% of my friends due to my singleness & my parents just blame me for being "all these bad things"... They tell me to "just go & give it a go". But I shouldn't be learning how to date at 40, I should be learning how to date back when I was 14... Something I wasn't allowed to do... Oh, but my parents were allowed to explore themselves at 14 with lots of other people during the 1970s, because "it was different back then."
@@mrbillhilly343 look forward sir. not backwards. seize this moment. breathe deeply. calm yourself. slowly reclaim your self-confidence and empowerment because the sum total of your abuse has been to engineer your 'learned helplessness'. google that. it's a vital concept to grasp. keep the knowledge to yourself. go 'gray rock'. find strength in a growing understanding that you have been used and abused but you and only you can set you free. 1 step at a time. pace yourself. knowledge. self-empowerment. balance. freedom. perseverance. 🙏
@@inhale.exhale.2527 Roll-up your yoga mat & stick it up your arse.
You do have PTSD. Horrible situation for you.
Girl you don't look like you've been married 24 years. You look Great!
Thank you! You start to live your best life once you leave a narcissist!!!!
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists i wish i could leave mine
@@islamzghoul7385 You can. You really can you have to have the strength to leave.
It took me almost a year to leave.
I had enough.
You will, and you can.
I thought the same thing. She’s beautiful!
I spent 22 years with an abusive husband and now I found my fairytale king❤
Love Hustle 3.0 good for you!!!! After 22 years of misery, you deserve it. Its the best feeling in the world to finally find THE ONE 🌸
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists thank u and yes I do and I love it
I'm so glad lovely I wish you every happiness I'm finding the strength to leave after 20 years of marriage he's always treated me like garbage what scares me most is I don't ever want to make that mistake again..that's a real big fear for me and I'm so angry with myself for putting up with it, i feel my life is over now, and that's it I don't even know why I'm bothering with anything anymore I'm 48 my life is finished. No one wants a broken down 48 year old no one, I'm not pretty either, it's just too late now, I've accepted this is my lot in life I'm just not meant to be happy in anyway shape or form it's not on the cards for me...I've got real bad trust issues too..I just cant see myself trusting anyone ever .again let alone allow another person into my heart space..I've decided I'm going to help others in life instead I'm an empath and a humanitarian, this way I will never get hurt again.
How??? How do you trust anyone ever again. I scrub up quite well but I can’t see anyone being interested or me trusting anyone ever again! xx
Please tell me how, I’m going through this now
It's very difficult to prove emotional abuse to those who have never went through it. I didn't know it was abuse for over 2 decades. I just kept trying and trying, giving more and more and getting less. Thank you for your story, it gives other folks the courage to do what is right for them. staying in a relationship just to receive more abuse is not love. it's insanity.
narcissists can NOT be fixed. it takes a lot of courage to make the decision to walk away and it is NOT being selfish!!! In fact, being kind to yourself, maybe for the first time in god so many years.
Thank you for sharing this! 💖
Indeed, very much true! Question, how do you "accept this"? That it ever happened or something..? Take care, much love and healing 🌌💖💫
Yes ❤️
@@bbdn5123 That's a GREAT question. How does one accept abuse? Where's the justice in all that? There were a lot of things I don't remember because he was a chaos creator; always kept the crazy making wheel spinning. However, my body remembers even tho my mind doesn't. Hmmm, interesting question.
"i didn't know it was abuse for 2 decades". because it felt familiar. you were raised with it so it feels 'normal'. that's how deep this core vulnerability runs - and it is why you will remain vulnerable to something similar again if you don't unlock it. i can help if you don't know what i mean or where to start. 🙏
As someone that has been in a relationship with a string of narcissists, I am sympathetic to what you went through. The key to ending my pattern of attracting narcissists was understanding MY role in enabling their behavior. Narcissists would have no victims if we all learned to recognize WHY we attract this toxic personality trait. And we DO attract and enable this behavior. WE have to break this cycle as THEY (the narcs) are not going to change. If we fool ourselves into believing “all will be well” if only we just learn to remove ourselves from narcissistic relationships AFTER it’s become a relationship, we’re missing the real solution and that is to learn what it is about US that attracts them in the first place.
I wouldn’t blame a snake for biting me just like I no longer blame narcs for abusing me: it’s simply who they are. The key is to build our own self-esteem and learn how to set healthy boundaries. Doing so will make us immune to the next narcissist that attempts to come into our lives.
Just know that although the narcissist in your life is now gone, the enabling narc-attractor is still in you and will remain so until you remove that weakness from who you are. There’s a reason why the abused will leave one narcissist only to find themselves with yet another narcissist in their next relationship if they dont do the work to fix themselves first.
I wish you well and hope you continue in therapy until you’re relieved of this weakness.
-Former serial narcissist victim.
Hell who wants to be with anyone after being set free from these monsters? Not I never again. Happily Single.
@@backwoodsgeorgiagirl5594 yes, one solution is to throw the baby out with the bath water but you haven’t really fixed the real problem. It’s easy to just completely avoid ALL potential mates as it frees us from having to actually do the work to improve our own mindset and become emotionally healthy. In other words, you haven’t fixed the problem you’re just avoiding having to deal with it.
WOW. So, I'm not alone...? Thank you for sharing.
Hope you're doing well dear
@@floret.mkinksskin495 Me? Yes, I'm much better. God helped me out.
No, you aren't it's been 21 years for me.
@@pjmrees pls get out I sound like a hypocrite because I still live with him but so im unhappy the only reason I haven't left I feel like I dont have ppl to support me and help I know it's hard to leave I'm going to take my chances and go stay with my possible narc mom who is very judgmental of and hasnt even called me.i feel broken and scared.😞
Never alone sis 💞💛
I was in a 33 year marriage 7 months ago I snapped and I left my narc husband I’m finally healing and finding myself I believe my God removed me from there I was in so much pain
Amen! I am forever grateful to my Lord for rescuing me ❤️😇 That’s All You Need - you & Jesus, keep on keeping on !!!
Me also....32 years...ive never been happier just knowing I'm not responsible for him anymore....none at all...im done thank the lord!!!
32 years in and he discarded me - I now know it was a rescue mission from God to get him out of my life. I know exactly how you feel including the self-blindness and lack of knowledge or understanding from people because they can’t see our bruises. Getting dumped by friends, fellow Christians, etc because you’re no longer convenient and might actually ask for help! No one really wants to help - just move on we’re told. I know we’re not alone but try to find a support group for people like us - NONEXISTENT! Thanks for your video and I wish there was a way to connect and build a group.
@@annVacchiano1209 Amen sister!!
I know exactly how you feel.
Smothered, stifled, and Disrespected.
Being the Fixer All the time hurts so badly.
3 years out now and beginning to enjoy life again. Stay strong sister you got this xx
Does anyone else notice how they will treat their blood family so much better and get jealous of you if their family starts enjoying a conversation with you and act out?
They act like children, vying for attention at all times. It's sad and pathetic.
@@NarcissistsSchmarcissists yes, like begging for mommy and daddy's approval
@@sandyhenry3238 Yep, you hit the nail on the head. Very childish.
The guy I dated never showed emotions except about his mother. I also felt like he treated his family, with all the respect but treated me like I was not important.
Then I would feel like the nagging claiming person and I do think he wanted to give me that feeling.
Why is a riddle to me.
He was abroad for work constantly texting me updates where he was at sharing his experiences etc. Then suddenly nothing. During four days.
Eventually I cried and felt drained bc I was holding in my emotions towards him.
Then I texted him.
He said please I am not available now I al with my parents.
I felt a mixture of arrogance,demeaning vibe and accusations that he was the good innocent guy and I was asking his attention.
Im still figgering out if he did it on purpose or not.
The day that I told him I ws done he rejected me when I said I felt like giving him a hug.
His reply: I am not in a good mood now my leg is hurting.
He said he was tested positive for Corona.
Now I even feel guilty and worried if he's okay.
That's the world upside down bc he won't care about my well being.
They usually use nice caring words but sending caring words is so easy... Easy 'love'.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 That is how my husband is..when his family is around I didn't exist. Then we had kids and same thing unless he wanted to play good dad.
I met mine young and honestly with my childhood there was no good male role model to know how a man should treat me.
IF YOU ARE JUST DATING HIM...GET OUT NOW!! IT WILL NEVER EVER CHANGE!!
They have mental problems..Get out of the relationship. I wish I understood it when I was young..now just waiting for my kids to get out of High School..If you stay you will end up with so much resentment and emotionally lonely.
100% TRUTH !! I WENT THROUGH THE SAME... I NEVER WENT TO COUNSELING...I WENT STRAIGHT TO GOD.
Hello how are you doing 😊😊☺️😊
How are things for you now?
My parents hated my Christian life. They hated me going to Church, hated Church & hated all my Christian friends. Now, I'm almost 40 & I hate going to Church because the married people in Church see me as a "problem".... Yeah, 40 year-old virgins are judged in Church, but the Tinder-chick with 4 boyfriends who acts Godly only on Sunday can't be "judged" for her pig-roasts. Also, why would I have a relationship with a sweet Christian woman who's going to be hated by my narcissistic parents, because I'm such a piece of garbage to my family that only another piece of garbage could love this piece of garbage..... Not worth the heartbreak.
God is Faithful that's what helps us keep on going
@@mrbillhilly343 I am so sorry for what happened to you in the church, how ever don’t let the church hurt make you run from God, run to Him, He is a loving Father, certainly not judgmental, All He have for you is LOVE! His love is overwhelming, Go to Him please
This resonated with me. I recently divorced after 28 years. I became someone I never was before. He told me how jealous I was and that I hated his parents and a whole lot more. I finally realized that they were all lies. I was angry but with good reason, on and on. Anyways I am a much different person without his constant labeling me. Thank you for being vulnerable and making this channel.
I understand completely. We’re not the people we should be when we’re with them. They hinder our growth, happiness and peace.
Thank you for putting this out there. I just divorced in April this year from a marriage of 34 years of emotional, verbal and financial abuse. Then the last 5 years of his drinking and drug use. When I told him he was abusive he told me good luck proving that because You don’t have any bruises on your body to prove it. So they know what they are doing, they can be covertly abusive and no one will believe you because they are most definitely different in front of people. I hope that I can help people also going through this some day when I heal myself. You are an inspiration, thank you.
Thank you for sharing. In doing so, you are helping others! Hugs and healing 🤍🤍
I'm stuck financially at the moment. I can't even tell you what day it is right now, one day just blends into the next when your in this situation because they don't give you anything to look forward to. I'm looking into some further education for financial independence .. than I can work on rewinding my life & get it back. Your video is all the support I have, (no family) but I feel stronger already! Thank you! (I friend requested you on Facebook) 🐇
Johnnancy Cislak I hope your situation is better now.
I'm in that situation now. I just need to survive 1.5 years before I can get a divorce
Johnnancy Cislak I'm in the exact same shoes as you John
johnnancy cislak I am living like you no family nothing even my dog is blind and I am heartbroken as he is all I have and it torments me don't feel alive like you each day is like a puff of smoke gone suddenly silent treatment ignores me but thanks to videos like this you start to understand the games they play s everyday make that baby step towards your financial independence you can do it. and there are so many ways to make money on the internet get out. find your beautiful self again!! go for it!! god bless
I hope your situation is better now🙏🏼
“People don’t care” because they have not experienced what you have ...i know because this was me also.
No, it's because they are pathetic, self absorbed, cowardly son of a b*tches who have no common sense. People can say they "care about you" all they want, but that doesn't mean anything. If you fucking gave a sh*t about me, why couldn't you have yanked me out of the situation instead of insisting that I should continue connecting with my toxic abuser who is OBVIOUSLY tearing up my mental health? These so called "caring" people wouldn't spit on you if your hair was caught on fire. Fuck em! 😡
Thank you for sharing your story I'm not a lone i was married for 34 years to a narcissists I made 10 children for him and I can relate to every single thing that you said in your story I'm now 54 and separated from 2 and a half years it's so so hard to get back on track I was fiscally mentally and emotionally abused it's really hard.
I’m currently going through this. It’s hard. It’s hard to get out and move on and much hurt as they bring. Today I finally kicked him out. It’s been going on for 13 years. I have been in abusive relationships for the past 20 years. Never again. I spot it so clearly now
Alexandria Marchak,You deserve better
@@oscarwilliamson6163 currently still in it. Trying to work on. 🤞🏼
Emotional abuse is hard to see, because the scars are buried deep -> the only escape is feeling numb!!
Yes..drank so much to cope,divorced and moved on.No more booze.
I’m 24 when you said the word “smothered” nothing resonated better. These people are sick. I learned about narcissistic personality disorder in college and a few years after because it was interesting but when you’re in the situation you almost convince yourself that it’s not them it’s you. I’m so glad I’m waking up before it was too late. Truly frightening.
I tell you that is what I hate the most that I actually started to believe that I'm what he makes me out to be,I don't know if it makes sense what I'm trying to say,in the funny thing is one's he has put me down as far as possible (emotionally) when I start feeling like, don't you ever come close to me again, that's the point where he starts telling me how much I mean to him, and still tells me let's start over, just don't do the things anymore that make me mad,in here I'm giving him another chance,in it's been 23 years
I’m in tears!!!! I don’t know how to thank you for this video. I have been emotionally abused my kids have been manipulated. I became an alcoholic to numb all of the pain which we all know made things way worse. I am not in 12 step program which is still not good enough. He continues to threaten manipulate which some times I think I’m crazy. During one of my very bad black outs I punched my husband in the face. He had me arrested which was just devastating for my kids and I. I made so many emends by actions of getting help therapy. So many positive things from my sobriety but he continues to find things to manipulate put me down the whole process over and over again. My kids are now 22, 20 and 18. These poor kids don’t know what to think who yo believe it’s devastating. I have AA but I’m going through a back surgery feb24th. Going to recover at my moms house. I am going to contact lawyer to find out my rights. I am so scared but you inspired me. I can’t thank you enough for this video.I have had no life since my back. He is soooooo pissed off about me getting the surgery. I am appalled of the treatment from him since this back injury. I know it’s time for me to make a big decision. I have been raising my kids with jobs that allowed me to be home with them after school which scares me to death. I just don’t know how financially I can make it but I’m going to look into talking with an attorney to get some professional advice. Again thank for inspiring me & letting me and other woman know we are not alone. It’s real!!
Kelly murray,You deserve better
I can definitely relate. I was married to a narcissist for 30 years and I never consider myself a victim.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I feel your pain. I was divorced after almost 27 years of marriage in May of this year. Unless someone has been there they
can't understand. You are beautiful and may Father strengthen and bless you even more.
I understand I've suffered it for almost 9 years
Debra Friede 27 too left in December
I'm in the process of divorcing my covert narcissistic husband after 33 yrs of marriage. We have 3 grown children and two little grandsons. So hard to think I actually stayed in this relationship as long as I did. But hopefully better days are ahead.
28. Yrs for me... trying to fix everything hadn't a clue about the narcissist/ empath relationship. Naive to the 3rd power. Still reviewing, regretting and imaging I could have fixed it. I know now she never was all in as a wife or mother...
Barry,
You can't fix them. Once you get through the pain you will be ok. I finally did after about 2 years. Life is wonderful
I am SO grateful that you made this video. Your story is a carbon copy of mine, only I divorced sooner. May God bless your beautiful heart.
Linda Kay,You are a precious 🌹🌷🌷 being 💓,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
Oh my goodness I can see you pain. I suffered alone and NEVER remarried. It's been 30 years. I have not gotten over the Pain ! I had hoped he would someday say he was sorry. I told HIM I was sorry for any thing I did wrong. Thank you for making your video. Please keep making more as it will help us heal.
Discover who you were meant to be, forgive yourself for tolerating it and make new memories. You will move forward in your healing. It doesn’t go away but it becomes less painful.
Thank you for your story. You are a beautiful person! I was married to one for 23 years. It's true, you don't know you are being abused until you are out of it and can finally see for yourself. I stayed until my son was 21 and grown so he wouldn't have to go through custody battles. I had a nervous break down and had to leave. I couldn't take one more day. I'm 11 years free. It took me 8 years to be able to talk about it without crying. He also cheated. The woman he's married to now, they were having an affair at least a year before I left. Thank God I printed out the phone records and have proof! There were other women as well. I had a feeling but I didn't want to deal with it because I was raising my son. I will never marry again. Mental Abuse - Emotional Abuse - Depression - they are all real
21 years married to mine...took being sick and having a heart attack that was completely ignored (told I was depressed and lazy) for me to realize the truth. I’ve emotionally distanced, have a psychotherapist but am stuck financially (more games they play) but just got a job and as soon as I can afford to be out on my own...I’m outta here! Maybe then I’ll find a support group and/or make a couple friends since I don’t have that at this point. Thank you for sharing! It’s inspiring to me that you’ve made it out and are healing! Very grateful! 🤘
There is hope! Not only do they have negative effects on our health, they don't take care of us when we are ill. However, the world has to stop spinning if they catch a cold. I'm sorry you're in that situation. I hope you can move quickly and steadily to an exit from the pain.
Reach out any time. nmarie350@gmail.com
Same here..20 years..had heart attack 1 year ago..laying in hospital I realized EVERYTHING!.. I was financially stuck too..got a job, enuf $ I'm out!
Omg when I had covid he dint want to take me to the hospital also I have anxiety and get weird feelings in my body he acts like he doesnt care.
Me too! 1) left me for dead in a river after flipping our jet ski. 2) Fell asleep when I told him to call 911 because I was having a heart attack. 3) Left me alone while I was in anaphylaxis so he could go to work. Evil.
@@celesteonthetube wow!!!!
When you said you were worried about everyone else's feelings but your own😢😭😭
Broke my heart when she said that and her voice cracked 💔
Sue Pickering,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,hope you are not with a narc 😈!!
Yes.
Sue Pickering,Hope you are not with a narcissist 😈!!
Thanks for your story. I've been emotionally abused by my wife for about 4 years now. We have a 1 year old son between us as I write this and it's been worse since his arrival.
My “sentence” was 20 years; mine is not only a narcissist but a sociopath. I could be you; its so very hard to recover; I spent 3 years in therapy and I still have PTSD. When you say people don’t care; so true, some of my family members said “Get over it.” Wishing you and everyone else who has suffered at the hands of narcissist healing and happiness. ❤
Dont cry, u r still young and u deserve a better man who values u. And u would not find him if u did not get rid of this monster.
I wish u all the best
Alaa Baki she is beautiful in and out. She will be happy and he will end up alone
don’t realy on nobody stand tall regards xx
What about what the Bible says that the Lord commands a Wife not to leave her Husband but if she does, she is to remain single or be reconciled. It says Wives are not to depart their Husbands :/ except for sexual immorality and no man can marry a woman who is divorced
@@clairebearie87 what is this nonsense,.? !!! 2021 is the now theses words are not realistic in today’s world.
don’t be naive and live a fruitful healthy life. go with these words ..... be kind , be true, treat others the way you want to be treated. Kindly Marcelyne xx
@@marcelyneeyre6839 thank you
I so feel your tears... a lot of them come from realizing you gave REAL love to someone who never gave real love to you. And that love doesn't just disappear. And it hurts to know that you will never be able to make it real either. You just have to move forward. And the damage they caused you to have to now repair. It's super upsetting.
Bravo!! I commend your courage and strength to voice what so many of us secretly would love to do…expose the person who gets pleasure from dimming our light and making us question who we are. I have been divorced for almost 15 years and I will tell you the first 10 years of divorce was a continuation of abuse. Threatening to not pay child support, tell me what a horrible mother I am, that he’s tired of supporting me and the kids, blah blah blah….5 years ago is when I made the decision that I wasn’t going to give him any more power, and I took it back. People have no idea what it is like behind closed doors with a narcissist, and most don’t believe any of the stories…they are so good at masking who they really are. You are an amazing woman, you are strong, you are brave and you deserve to be whole. Peaceful heart ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing. So many are going through what you just described. Exposing who they really are helps to break the cycle of abuse. Hugs and healing 🤍
Thank you for posting. It means a lot to hear someone who was in the same boat as me and it helped. Thank you.
Thank you so much for being brave enough to share your story. I am caught in my own abusive relationship currently but it's nice to know I am not alone. One important thing you mentioned is not being educated on the subject enough to be able to identify someone is truly abusing you. Ive been spending so much time believing all the negative things my partner has said about me trying relentlessly to please hoping one day I can be treated like a human. You are a true inspiration and the info you're providing is heaven sent. I'll keep watching and learning as well as building my confidence. I feel stronger after watching these videos like maybe spiritually I have support. Good luck to you!
That was beautiful and we'll said !!! God bless you!!! Prayers being sent!!!
sending a hug Trap
hope you’re doing better
You are worth more than you can imagine. Love yourself. Love you...
You are a beautiful person blessing to you
Save your money, never tell them about your plans and when you will be ready :Run!
Never give him another chance, ales you want to waste next 20 years like me. Hugs
I was with my narc 24 years married 14. Got out last year, omg it’s been so hard. Having already suffering with mental health problems anyway, added by the abuse I now have anxiety and PTSD. Thank you for sharing your story xxx
I'm sorry u had to go through so much with demonic troll may the lord be with u
Glad you were able to get away. You’re a true survivor! Praying for your recovery.
Your video is so incredibly helpful! Thank you for your channel.
Narcissists all do the same thing. Why are we not taught to watch for this early in life.
1) love bomb
2) pretend affection
3) pretend love
4) slow gas lighting
5) devalue and destroy
6) blame the other one.
This sequence happens to many people in a marriage. Just don't marry because you may get one of these.
I was married for 34 years. Got married at 21. Had absolutely no clue about personality disorders back then, no one talked about it. Nowadays everyone is talking about it. Living with him was like living under a cloud, a thunder cloud. No joy, ever. I kept hoping and praying that things would get better and that he'd suddenly miraculously gain an appreciation of what he had and then one day, I woke up to the fact that I could never give enough. I had nothing left to give.
@@sueheller They suck the life out of you and you don't even know who you are anymore and they wonder why you aren't the same person you were when they married you....they need to look in the mirror to see the monster they are...of course to them they are perfect and you aren't ever going to be good enough for them.😬 So happy I'm free and away from the crazy man I married years ago...23 years was a lifetime to spend with the wrong person.😨
I care. When I watched this, I felt your pain, because it’s mine. The no one cares has been the hardest part for me. It’s like no one gets it and I’m walking through a minefield of my own mind. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing and watching! Hugs ~N
Me too and I'm going to get out of my I've been married since March the 3rd 2015 to him and it's been nothing but hell if a man can call you a b**** everyday and think he's better than you I'm moving on I'm not putting up with this anymore he calls me names everything people just wouldn't believe how he talks to me
Very true
You are changing lives! Thanks for sharing your pain.
Thank you for sharing your experience. So many people will benefit from your story. It’s definitely helping me. The healing process could also be painful. You are doing it!!!
The tears eventually become less...therapy is crucial. Completely cutting off contact is necessary. One day we’ll wake up and feel the light & happiness that the narcissist stole. 🥰
I could not have said this better myself! Thank you!
Well put! And true! No contact since October last year and feeling free as a bird!
I left my husband after 37 years last August . I was raised by a Mom with overt narcissistic characteristics and married a man with covert narcissistic characteristics. Obviously they weren’t diagnosed and I’ve suppressed my emotions for years. Only now am I recognizing really how much I’ve suppressed my emotions. When you described yourself in this video you described me. I’m anxious to see more of your videos.
Thank you so much for sharing and watching. Sending you hugs and healing ~ N
Hello Shar
Blessings to you @Shar
This is my story family full of Narcs❤
I finally escaped my 11 year marriage from my extremely narcissistic husband. He put me through hell for the next 10 years and got custody of my young daughter. I was an empty shell when I left, afraid to go outside on my own. Looking back, wow! All family and friends believe I'm a bad person and he's an angel.... still to this day. He is sooo cunning. I'm almost myself again... I could write a book on my experience... thank you for sharing. You will heal hun. I'm sorry you went through that, and all the other people that are going through it now or have scraped the little strength they're left with to get out. The sun is bright and the skies are blue once you're out... I pray for you.
Wow. It takes courage to share your story. Good luck with your healing and many blessings in your life. 🇨🇦
You stuck it out because you have values. You value marriage and family life. You are to be commended for lasting so long. Hope you find the happiness you deserve.
🌹
Yes I can resonate with you. I was ignorant of narcissism for 35yrs until I accidentally came across about it on you tube!
Thank you! Your story has power and is helping many others including me.
Simply I’m so sorry and thank you for being so raw and open!!!
No contact is the only way to survive a narc. 💗💗💗
Absolutely 💯
Narcbuster2020,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🥀,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
@@christianpulisic7784 haha thanks. I don't have one now thank goodness. It was a "friend " .
@@Narcbuster-bm6hm You are welcome dearest 🌹🌷🌺.I am Christian from the States.You?
@@christianpulisic7784 I'm living in Queensland Australia now.
Thank you for sharing. I'm going, STILL going thru this after 45 years. I'm still here. Don't know how, but here I am. It's a wild ride for sure! Videos like this and others have really hit home for me. But I've learned so much too!! It amazes me how much narcs are so much alike!!!! I'm stuck here....cannot leave. No money, no car keys...and drivers license expired. He loves it!!!! If it's mentioned, he goes into his famous rage, which I've learned to ignore. He's always the victim......always. The only time I'm out of this house is for family birthdays. And that's when he acts like such a great guy......in front of others. I've called him out several times. But I know I'll pay for it as soon as we get alone. I'm just thankful he doesn't hit me. But his rages have given me such anxiety that my blood pressure is at stroke stage. And he ignores that too. His hangnail was much more important!!! It's sad that no one else can see this! Even our 2 grown kids!! Our daughter thinks he's the best!!! And he IS.......to her. Our son has seen and heard his nasty side and ignores him, shaking his head. I'm here for the long haul.....til HIS death us do part!!! Until then, it's grey rock all the way!! Thanks again brave lady!!
Girl I know what you are saying , but my two children that are adults knows because he treated them like that when they were younger and when they left home , he started on me . It’s really just heartbreaking, my husband is in a wheelchair and I have to help him with everything and when his health goes down the worse he gets . I thought after his last health crisis he might end up in a home , but it didn’t happen . I have prayed for him for years and he died three times in March of this year and God has given him another chance, but you can’t tell that he has changed at all . For the first few weeks it looked like maybe , but now he’s the same person .
don't stay your smart go for a walk call a cab head to a women's shelter your life is worth living
one thought......he may wear you down and it will be your death. this is what im facing after 52 yrs. of him sucking me dry emotionally and physically.
I am sorry u r going g threw this.
I am in the same situation u are
In.
After 42 years
Both sons adults are covert NARCISSISTS .like their
Father now,treats me like their
Father
Keep searching for help
Abuse center or crisis center
Can help from housing,legal advise
Ect.dont give up
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Even if you can't leave physical--- it's still important to acknowledge the truth and find ways of thriving in a difficult situation. Wish you all the best. God bless.
You.
Are.
So.
Brave.
Thank you.
This is beautiful and so helpful.
Bless you, and your family.
Stay strong. Keep up the great work!
You’re doing better than you think you are.
I am so proud of you for being so brave, for sharing, for reaching out to others, and for getting your own healing. I can relate to everything you’re saying. It’s very difficult to face when you don’t think you’ve been a victim and find out that you have been extremely victimized. Seeking the truth can be scary but it is the only way to Freedom. Thank you again and blessings.
Forgive yourself !!! Your pain is visible!!! You didn’t realize narcissist monsters existed!!! I did this for 28 years !!! The pain is unreal . Much love to you .
I ran from my narc husband and I can honestly say that I really feel your pain. And became emotional while watching. Dealing with all of the aftermath of the abuse has been a very lonely and torturous process. Thank you so much for posting.
Thank you for sharing and watching. I hope you have someone to talk to. To guide you through the healing process. I promise, it gets better. Hugs and healing💕
I can so relate to this!
You are an AMAZING beautiful lady! Thankyou for sharing your story that will absolutely help others!😘
I'm crying with you, I feel every word you say, I know exactly what you've felt while giving up your life to the emotionless monster. God bless you ♥️
I was married 28 yrs. You could have been describing my 28 yrs. Thank you for putting into words what I feel inside.
I noticed the past tense in your comment. I hope you are thriving and healing!
Tammy McEwen,You are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺,you don't need a narc 😈 in your life!!
I was married to a narcissist wife for 13 years. Same here, before she left, she said 'you have to be modern about it'. I was blessed with no kids. She found a job outside my country and just left. Be strong 💪 build yourself into the best that you can ever be.
Be courageous . Women can also be narcissists. Thanks for calling our attention to that.
@@noellelove3203 - before she left - ‘you have to be modern about it ‘, with all respect, a true respectable woman should take care of her husband especially if he really cares about her. Women who hate their fathers, cannot have any true relationship with a man. I’m in a relationship with another victim from a narcissistic husband, trying to build lives together from the pieces left behind.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are strong, smart, and beautiful. Although the road to recovery from a narcissist is hard and in a sense a lifetime challenge, your life is going to be better and brighter by each day.
I thank you for your courage and bravery for speaking out on such a hard topic and
Subject. Stay strong. You will get better. Healing is A journey Don't Give up.
Thanks. I never thought I was a victim til recently. Especially because when abused, I would defend myself, my actions or inactions or my intentions which would cause more fighting.Then I saw myself as part of the problem. I stayed together for everyone else when I was hurt, starved of emotion, criticized, ridiculed, scolded as a child.
We stay for everyone else and sacrifice our well being. It engrained in us if we have a narcissistic parent. Hugs and healing to you💕
I defended myself too, and i paid big time, should have walked away he stole my soft personality
13 years of being unhappy. I was stuck didn't know how to get out. until I found him at pub with a random lady. my excuse waking up call....had no remorse. I changed became a different person ever since. once your successful and don't need his bullshit they want to come back ...14 years of divorce his still trying to look for a new me...now he wants to come back....NO
Thats exactly what he gets he will never in a million years find a new you i pray for nothing but positivity for your future
Good post
Thank you for sharing the everyday mechanics of such a relationship - it helps those of us who didn't go through with such a relationship, see as to what the future would have been like. The smothering of emotions does happen and you end up becoming more unrefined in your expression. The resulting resentment that's pent up inside makes you act like a caged animal - because you have to fight for everything, for them to even recognize your basic needs.
You are very brave. Thank you for sharing and being a support to others who need to hear your story.
Hello how are you doing 😊😊☺️☺️
I’m in my 1st week of No Contact...I spent 9 years with my abuser and this is the 5th time I am leaving him and as God is my witness it will be my last, I am educating myself and consulting a therapist...thank you for your videos, it’s so helpful to see a “regular” person who has gone through what I am going through and has been successful. Thank you 🙏🏼
It takes a lot of courage to talk about this. It takes a lot of guts.
What an amazing lady! Incredibly brave and inspiring to see! I’m so glad you got out of that poison and are thriving now..blessings to you and your family! 😊🤟
Thank you so much for taking the time to post this. Not only are you making a community for people in similar situations but you are also preventing others from enduring similar traumas. I wish you the best in your further healing.
Your story mirrors mine in every way. I thought, wow, we have the exact same story.. except it was my mother who died. I just read a book that explains that narcissists don't go after weak people. There is no challenge there. They go after the strong ones. They need to tear them down to feel powerful and strong themselves. We make lemonade out of lemons. We are adaptable. We are kind. That is why they chose us.
I feel that my pain is just brushed aside by others. They cannot see the devastation within my soul. I truly believe they don't want to see either. That includes family, friends even some of the counselors.
It leaves you feeling hollowed out and devastated. How do we feel whole again? How do I get back the joy? I have been very intentional in my recovery for the past two years. I read and educate myself. I make changes where I find that it is needed in me and my behaviors and perceptions.
Some days I just feel that being whole is a fantasy from my past.
Thank your for your courage.
❤️❤️❤️❤️🌻
🙏
You will become the person you were, before you meet him...
I CARE! I suffered Narc abuse from 3 Narcs, one is my mother. I get it and GENUINELY DO CARE. Others in the same shoes care too. God Bless You, love.
Ashley Kettle,Your lovely smile 😊 can make the news!!
You are so strong. Thank you for posting this.
It feels like your talking about my life , can't believe it, 40 years !! Thank you .