How to Write a Query Letter (with examples of real successful queries)
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- Опубліковано 28 сер 2018
- Query letters can be daunting! Today I'm going to break the query down into three sections to create an easy template/format you can use to write your own query. I'm also going to demonstrate how this template plays out in successful query letters.
SHOW NOTES
It's easiest to think about the query in three sections. These sections should be roughly between 100 and 300 words in total.
Section One:
-The problem (what the character wants or doesn't want)
-The hook (something compelling about the story)
-The inciting incident (the disruption of the status quo)
Section Two:
-The action (what the character does in response to the inciting incident)
-A turning point in the plot
Section Three:
-(Optional) Another turning point in the plot
-The stakes (what the character will lose if they fail)
-The action (what the character must do to succeed)
Check out all of these queries in their entirety: ellenbrockediting.com/examples...
Website: ellenbrockediting.com
Twitter: / ellenmbrock
Tip Jar: www.paypal.me/EllenBrock - Навчання та стиль
After nine years of working on my novel, I find myself paralyzed by the query letter. Thank you for breaking it down succinctly with real-life, successful examples.
What about your novel now?
@@gililevy3541 I'm not going to lie, I had no interest in my novel and, with the busyness of life, gave up. Every now and then, I force myself to send more letters, get more rejections, get dejected or distracted (ADHD is bad for publishing) until I guilt myself into trying again. Really appreciate your reply, though, because you've reminded me that it's time to pull up my bootstraps, re-watch this video and try again :-) How about you? Has this advice helped?
@@randomworldofemily1495
I'm only starting actually, haven't sent letters yet. Hopeful things will be Okay. Good luck!!!! Wishing your book the best! I know it can be tough
@@gililevy3541 A very belated thank you! Any bites? I decided to give it another go, following a UK agent's very specific instructions.
I can't begin to tell you how helpful this is for me, Ellen. Query letters are so very important and they're one of the areas I have the most problems with. Thanks so much for the illumination.
Great video per usual. This is particularly helpful for me. I've written four novels since 2014 and havent queried a single one out of fear for the querying process. Your simplified breakdown just nudged me forward. Thank you so much.
Matt. The worst that can happen is you get no reply. Or even rejection. Many popular authors were rejected many times before finding a publisher who shared their vision. 4 novels in 4 years is impressive. Send them out to the universe, or you'll never know and regret it.
it's better to get rejected and learn from the mistakes, than to never try at all.
Matt Khourie I’ve been rejected by 3 of the 4 agents I queried to, all before watching how to make an actual query so don’t give up! I haven’t and neither should you!
Hi Matt, you can do it. I know you can. It just takes practice and breaking it down to being very short and to the point. :)
Hey Matt, how did the querying go?
I'd love to hear some more examples for a larger and more complex book-series like Game of Thrones (aSoIaF).
I've gone through ample number of articles on query letters and seen so many videos (because I'm about to dive into the querying stage), and hats off, this is the most comprehensive, detailed, and meticulously planned guide for writing a query letter that I have come across. Your channel is just gold, Ellen. Thanks for existing!
This is the best video I've seen on queries. Thanks Ellen!
Best video on query letters out there! Having a clear structure is so helpful and you do such a great job applying it to excellent examples. Thank you!
Great video (as always), Ellen! Lots of useful information for the query process.
Why are you so so good at explaining things! Love your videos
Loved this! Query letters can be so daunting! This is going to be very helpful :)
Thank you for your videos! They're so helpful 💕
Another great clip. Thanks.
This was brilliant, thank you so much for the examples. I definitely have to fix my query letters.
This was so helpful! Thank you!
Love the practical samples with actionable tips on how to write query letters! Very helpful.
Hi 👋I write ✍superhero movies to sell
Priceless video!
Thank you so much your video was absolutely amazing and the use of examples made it crystal clear!
Thank you for the visuals! Much easier to follow what you'r talking about when I can see the passages and which section is what.
Woah, I feel so much better about this whole process--thank you SO MUCH for this! It was so, so helpful!
Thanks so so much for this breakdown. Easy to follow and adapt to a manuscript
Thank you for these.
It like writing the trailer for your book, no spoilers. Great Video
I've been studying these queries on your website as I've beat my head against the keyboard to write a query for my novel, Winter Soul. Watching this video has finally made query writing click and I've realized, I'm not a terrible writer and my query is actually quite respectable! Needs some polish, sure, but I followed the hook, problem, inciting incident formula without realizing it.
Good luck querying.
Your videos are always good, but this one had me stopping, taking notes, and rewinding the video to get all the juicy information. Thank you so much!
This is terrific!! Thank you!
This helped me so much, and after two days of looking for resources, yours is the only one I turned out to need. Thank you.
This really helps your the best miss ❤its been an honor 🎖
Hopefully will need these tips soon.👍
I spent the spring of last year writing a novel and the fall writing a memoir....I'm about to finish typing the memoir and well be sending out letters....just wanted to say thanks for the helpful videos....
This was very helpful to me. I went over my Query Letter to see if I could clearly point out each of the aspects you suggested. Thank you for this!
Great video! I love seeing the examples. How many of these accepted queries had previous publishing credits, I wonder-even small ones?
Ellen, this is such a wonderful video. It's honestly the most helpful vid on query letters I've come across on youtube. Seriously, thank you so much for taking real queries and breaking them down to give us a sense of the kind of letters that seal the deal. I can't express how valuable that is.
Agreed!
Wow this is so great!! I'm wondering if you can use these techniques in creating the back of the book too!? There really aren't videos on how to create the back of the book to hook readers. Would be awesome if you could make a video on this!😊 Thank you for such helpful content here!
You are amazing, thank you so much. It's actually hard to find good examples that straight show you how it's to be done. Keep up the great work!
I agree! Examples are a gamechanger.
Bliss you. You are unequally post writing maze savior
Hey. Cool video. Can't wait for the first page critiques. :)
Ok, let's try this...
Angel is tasked with keeping the peace between two major factions, a challenge she and her predecessors have just barely managed to maintain. Neither faction have much trust for those who won't fight for peace, and let's face it, Angel is small cute and has peculiarities that make her unsuited for combat. Tired of smiling cheerfully at the uphill slog, and for the greater good of the people, she summons the devil from another world of a bygone era.
The devil is less than impressed to have been summoned to play nursemaid to an overdeveloped child. A power struggle ensues leaving Angel demoralized and nearly broken.
Having no other recourse, she grits her teeth and bears the burden she can't in good conscious pass off to anyone else. Riding her devil through a sea of misery, she will complete her journey or die trying. If she could at least win his respect, maybe his remarks wouldn't cut so viciously deep.
May the Saints protect the rest of us.
What I came up with:
Darren loves his job as a clandestine delivery driver, but he is losing it to automation. When a mysterious figure that knows too much offers him a large sum to be their personal delivery driver, he doesn’t feel he has any choice but to take it. Soon he is driving around with a briefcase full of money and dodging a private investigator, while delivering parts to a scruffy scientist building some kind of robot. He will have to work with an unassuming and equally compromised spy girl, if they are to finish the final job and earn their freedom.
I really like this
I tried to write a first page for critique thing on her blog, but that was a lot harder. Maybe for next summer.
Thank you for posting this video. Very well organized and I think it will help me with structuring my query letter!!
A fellow organization lover! Lol. Organizers unite!!
Hey, Ellen! How would I go about querying a short story collection that doesn’t really have a single plot or continuation?
OMG this is great. I literally posted a video today on why agents reject and queries are such a huge part of that. I talk about them briefly in my video. I'm going to link to this in my video description for sure.
Great video! Do you have any advice for writing a synopsis for a book that has multiple POV characters? Something along the lines of Game of Thrones?
Someone with examples...nice
I love this video
Thanks for sharing this info. It's interesting to know. I also found out that Americans pronounce 'query' differently from the British :P
I'm American and I've never heard query pronounced this way before. Hearing it made me wonder from where she hails.
Thanks for the great videos. Question: I have around 20 queries out on an MG project as of 2 weeks ago. Since those were sent, I dove into getting reviews (Readers’ Favorite (x5), Kirkus, Self Published Review, Online Book Club, BookLife). The first review came back as 5 stars today. If most or all come back glowing, is that a worthy basis to nudge agents with an update specifically touting all of those reviews?
Okay so this video was extremely helpful. I like how direct and specific the information was. I do have one question. It would be much appreciated if you found the time to answer.
My question pertains to the first section of the query. The hook, problem, and inciting incident. The inciting incident in my novel happened very early. Literally the first chapter. I use it as a sort of point of intrigue as not everything about the event is explained. A very heavy theme of the book is betterment of one's self and the main character learning to overcome some problems of his and personal demons. So the hook and the problem occur after the inciting incident. Would it be reasonable to still keep the format of hook, problem, inciting incident even though that's not the actual progression? It it really even feasible to structure a book in that way?
There's really quite a bit that goes on in my novel. The inciting incident effects two main plot devices. A romance, and the self betterment to be able to defeat the enemy of the book. It seems to me that this horse may have broke its leg already before the gates have opened.
Great video. I teach query clinics and I will definitely recommend this. :)
Awesome! Query clinics sound fun.
Would there be any fundamental differences in query letter for a chapter book?
Love your channel.
Your trademark is the way you say "Novel Editor". I'd definitely say it like "Noveleditor".
Yea, can I have the link to literally all of these books you used as an example?? I learned so much from this video! But also got some great book recommendations! 😂💜
The last book you touched on for the 3rd part of the query letter-The Weight of Our Sky-that book is intense from start to finish😲It's heavy reading, not for the faint-hearted😰
Hi Ellen: Do you have any video or suggestions on how to write a query letter for a book that is a compilation of short stories?
I have my premise done !
Ellen, what about a query letter for a true crime book--"dramatized narrative non-fiction" (?) Every query tutorial I see is always about novels/fiction. Thoughts?
Hi. Could you kindly guide me on 'How to write a query for a multi-perspective Novel.' Thanks.
Thank you
question: is a query designed to be more specific than a premise statement?
yours is the best video! (coming from a "13 year old" author with a learning disability)
Any advice on query letters for essay collection books?
Do you have the script for these two episodes written down somewhere? It would help to have it while I'm writing my letter.
I listened! I learned! Will I succeed?
Do you have any specific suggestion for changes if the query is for a collection of short stories? Thanks!
Intriguing question. I would think the pitch section would describe (briefly) the connecting theme of the stories and perhaps mention a few plot lines from the stories. Or perhaps outline the conflict that runs through the collection - if one exists.
How similar in structure and intention is a back cover blurb to a query letter plot summary? Should the same or similar basic structure be used? What about diction? Should a query letter plot summary be more clinical and factual and a blurb be more stylized and emotive?
I would say they would likely be very similar. They both serve the same purpose: to get someone interested in reading your story. You definitely don't want a dry, factual query letter.
Would i need to include the books word count in the query if it's a graphic novel?
It seems everyone has a vastly different way of going about creating a query letter. Some people say to spend months crafting one. Others say just bang it out in an hour.
Hi Ellen, I have done my own illustrations, and I am wondering if I should mention that somewhere in the query letter? Do publishers shy away from writer-illustrators, at least if they are debut-authors? Maybe it depends?
Thanks
BTW this is a 110,000 science fiction novel for adults... I don't commonly see illustrations in that section of the bookstore, which makes me sad.
Now, supposing I have 3 perspectives in my book, would it be best to focus on just one of them, or am I expected to talk about all three?
I fear that my novel(s) will never be considered because the story is a slow boil that would have to be spread put over multiple books. I'm sure it's not boring or overly long, but each book will likely be 100k words or more. Should I write the query for the whole series, even if I haven't written all the books yet? Or should I try to get a stand-alone story published first to get a publisher more confident to consider a series?
Hi Ellen,
I happen to have a question?
What if the plot revolves around multiple character, so how to describe the plot then? And if it's a potentially 6bool series.. should we write it in the last para?
Thanks
Then you should mention 3-4 most important characters and for the series you could mention that it's first book of 6 part series in the last para.
Hey, sort of an off topic question, but what do you do when your novel doesn't have a clear villain and doesn't really lend itself for it. Would you suggest to go in a more traditional route and try to contrive a villain or is it possible to go with a modern spin and use plot devices and unyielding side characters to support the tension?
Good question! I struggled with this on the first novel I wrote too. I learned these are the basic types of conflicts almost all stories can be categorized into:
Man vs. Self. ...
Man vs. Man. ...
Man vs. Society. ...
Man vs. Nature. ...
Man vs. Machine. ...
Man vs. Fate/Supernatural.
A brief description of what each one means is here: education.seattlepi.com/types-conflict-can-found-narrative-3739.html
A story can have more than one of these conflicts (many do), but your story should fit with at least one of these. My main character has a lot of personal baggage, so that's Man vs. Self, and he's fighting a black hole (of all things) so that's Man vs. Nature. Lol
I hope you can find your story's main conflict in one of these! If so, it'll help guide you in how to build suspense, twists, and tension into your story by studying other stories with that type of conflict.
@@xzonia1 Thanks!
No problem! :)
I feel like my fantasy story has too many important elements to be summarized so easily.
Firstly, the "problem" part really comes after the inciting incident, not before it, as the story focuses heavily on the negative character arc of the protagonist. The story also has 3 "parts" that sort of act like 3 separate books, the last part being particularly "separate" from the first 2.
Tricky. :/
What I did for the separation idea was try to figure out a motive that stays relatively close with how you wrote. It is like a musical piece... the theme may vary or change throughout the piece, but it is still the theme nonetheless. I hope this helps, a year later.
This video has some awesome tips on querying! Thank you for making it.
Watching it, however, has raised a question for me... is it rarer for men to land agents than women? Are there less men trying to become authors? I think every example you gave was from a female writer and it worries me. I’ve been discouraged when trying to submit to magazines and anthologies, seeing a similar call for pretty much any writer other than straight white men, and it would be very disheartening to discover that traditionally publishing a novel would carry with it the same roadblocks due to immutable characteristics.
Should I spoil the ending in my query letter if I feel like it would help me impress the editor??
Should I have a title before making a query letter?
Not gonna lie, all these summaries made me want to read the books.
Is there anything we should put before the hook? Like an introduction of who we are as authors and examples of our past work or anything?
I cover all that in the second video "Query Letters Part 2."
So you just go right in to the description of the manuscript first without introduction and put the bio last? I'm very confused lol
This is great! If the main character swears a lot (adult mystery/pulp) would you suggest keeping the query letter clean? Or stick with the vulgar voice? Thanks for picking this topic!
Some swearing shouldn't be a problem so long as it's coming from the voice of the character and isn't gratuitous or inappropriate for the genre.
scomorthegreat That was a good fucking question
I swore in mine (the query for Anchor). I don't think it's shown in the video, but there's a "fucked" in the written-out version on her blog.
Fair warning: swearing in a query letter will be a instant reject for some agents. But my general philosophy is that any agent who would rejected based on swearing in a query is... probably not going to enjoy my MS very much regardless ;-)
Winning
Does anyone know where or the list of agents are?! Isn’t this important?
Where can I send my well written query letter to????
What is a query and what are they used for?
How do you typically go around the query process? Is it free? Sorry I'm very inexperienced where publishing comes in and I've wanted to publish a book for the longest time but I'm not sure how any of it works.
You can go online to find literary agents and the agencies they work for. Most are done online these days whether through an online form or an email you'd send to the agent or agency typically with a brief synopsis, word count, a bio if you have one (like if it were a non-fiction work, what qualifies you to have written the book or if fiction, have you any writing accolades with publishing short stories, part of any writers workshops etc). Queries are always free, if you're being asked to pay, run away and never look back, because they're a scam. The process is simple, but don't be discouraged by rejections or non-responses because there will likely be a whole lot of them.
Super duper unrelated but you have beautiful hair and skin. You’re just very pretty
((grabs Ellen's ankle)) Don't LEAVE!! Don't go away! I know September is coming, but don't go away! Nooooooooooooo!!!
i usually ask on topic, but does anyone know how to copyright your work under a penname? i been trying to figure this out for years, and no one has an answer.
Have you found the answer? (We're on the same page)
why does an agent request your manuscript?
That's a great question with a BIG answer. :) My quick answer is that your pitch captivated them. If you write a great pitch section (where you describe your story) and you targeted an agent that represents your genre and likes your type of story, then you will almost certainly get a manuscript request. I just started a series on query letters. Here is the link if you want to check it out: ua-cam.com/video/v6oUuTQqQLc/v-deo.html
"So? Lots of Rice Pasta meals? Submarine Type/ Lots of Salad?? What does it take to make the Ellen Character?"
Are there any steps you must take to make sure your story isn't stolen via query letter?
Interesting.. all of the query letters you listed on your site are either YA or have female leads. I keep hearing of writers having trouble finding agents for male leads that aren't YA or LGBTQ. Maybe it's important to note that industry trends also heavily affect the success of the query letter. It could be flawless and still fail.
Yup. If you look at MSWLs you'll find that the vast majority are looking for novels like you've mentioned. It's disheartening to some of us. Wrote my book a long time ago and life happened and now I'm back at it. But the trends are against me. A character is gay, but my protagonist is male and not gay.
What is a query letter?
Jeffrey www.google.com
I consider it a pitch, a letter of influence with the purpose of convincing the agent to request part or all of the manuscript to review.
HI, MY NAME IS CHARLES FROM KENYA AND I WANT TO REQUEST IF YOU CAN HELP IN WRITING A QUERY FOR A COMMERCIAL PROJECT
Is anyone publishing stories NOT about 'strong female' whatevers?
People publish all kinds of things.
@@5050TM What a useless reply. SJWs have taken over YA publishing; it's patently obvious. Who is NOT publishing their propaganda crap? That's who I am looking for.
@@voodoogroove8209 Literally all you have to do is search the internet for agents accepting your genre and avoid the agents who ONLY publish "strong female" novels. If your book is good, you'll find an agent. The shelves aren't just filled with "sjw" novels.
I will add: No one can just list you out names of agents, especially based on barely any info. You need to either look yourself, or continue to be stuck in pessimism because no one change how many agents want a certain thing by complaining online. It's ineffective and pointless. If all else fails, there is self publishing. I would recommend to write some short stories and submit them around first and create a website to gain a following, if you have not already, before self publishing.
You're describing a blurb not a query
Tell me what you guys think of this practice query for a story I want to write (finish writing). I've never tried to write one before.
After a minor car accident and visiting the hospital for a CAT scan, 21 year old college student Alice Winter wakes up in the year 2075. Fifteen times. With the help of an exiled back alley doctor and the World War III veteran daughter of the woman who's DNA they were created from, the fifteen time lost clones must find a way to survive in the slums of the L.A. sized China town district of the mega city that was once southern California. If all of that wasn't bad enough most of the new sisters must deal with the varying genetic disorders caused by the aging cloning machine that created them as well as the fact that none of them are the person they all remember themselves to be. The secret hidden in the first clones DNA may be their only salvation.
It's a work in progress, some things are subject to change.
The car accident itself is a seemingly minor story element and happens just before the beginning as a way to set up the hospital visit. Alice herself tries to explain to her mom over the phone on the way there that worrying about it too much is silly. I guess you could say it sets everything into motion though. It's all first chapter stuff and she plays pretty much no part in the story other than some flashbacks. I did have an idea for a bit later on, a sort of prequel starring her daughter with the two in it.
On the clones yes, I know it sounds insane but all fifteen remain characters throughout the story. The way it sort of works is they all have something unique to them, mostly in what they do as a means of survival but also in that most of them are either suffering from genetic disorders due to the malfunctioning cloning machine. As the machine produced the clones it began to fail. Even as it tried to correct it's mistakes they sort of piled up as each new clone was finished. It was sort of rapid fire, like a printer. Imagine the seen where the machine rebuilds Lelu in The Fifth Element but it just keeps remaking her over and over but starts to breakdown by the fourth clone while desperately trying to correct it's mistakes with each new clone.
For example, despite having all of the same memories and personalities one has an uncontrollable stutter causing her to remain quiet a lot, one has heightened aggression due to a chemical imbalance, one suffers from an astigmatism, one has asthma which is made worse due to the pollution in the city. The fifteenth clone is the most unique in that as the final clone as machine began to fail, she looks like the rest but has white hair and violet eyes and her memories aren't fully mapped and developed like the rest. Her brain works as a sort of biological super computer capable of insane, fast calculative abilities.
Only three of the clones are exact genetic clones in every way with no genetic disorders and even they differ from one another in what roles they play in the story. The first clone is the main character and sort of the special clone in that she has enhanced, super human abilities (Think Captain America style). All of them start using nicknames as well.
Because of this they all have very different paths and interactions with each other and the world and begin to diverge as people as they experience life in different ways. The first story mainly focuses on clone one and two and the daughter of the woman they were cloned from creating this really bizarre dynamic. At it's core the first book would be largely about the characters interactions amidst the backdrop of a heist themed story.
I thought about that quickly written practice query I wrote and decided it needs a lot of revision as it does't get across the first story very well, it more covers the overall story. I had planned it to be an ongoing series. I'm a turbo amateur and i'm learning as I go. Thankfully i've learned a lot over the past few months but i've still got a long way to go. Practice, practice, practice.
Absolutely any advice and or criticism is helpful and I appreciate the time you took to respond to me a lot. I didn't expect it but it's very welcome. I was thinking a lot about it over the weekend. A good mystery or two would be great for the story. The initial idea all started with a story about a person is cloned so many times and the clones are the focus of the story.
The first chapter sets everything up with the car accident. The second chapter is when things officially get crazy. There would be a lot of questions and answers flying around over the next few chapters but I want to set up some foreshadowing and unanswered questions too. The first story wouldn't have a main antagonist and instead come down to a heist which itself would spark the next book (fingers crossed) which would have what I hope and pray would be not only a threatening antagonist but a fun if not tragic one. And beyond that we have an even bigger bad but i'm still fleshing that stuff out, I want it to be a good one. I have a lot of lore to keep track of too.
And yes, while the focus of the story would mainly follow clone one, clone two and the war vet daughter the rest of the clones would be the B Story. If I can make it work i'd like to continue their stories over more books and the focus might change from story to story. For example, one book might focus on only one character while the next might focus on a couple with a B Story and the next might be full on ensemble. I plotted out a very rough mental outline in my head of what three books might look like and it goes a lil something like that.
I think one of the main story elements I want to go in on though is how they all become a family. Not just the clones but the daughter of the woman they were cloned from as well as others. If I can make it work that is. It's so much more complicated in my head. I told myself to just start with this other idea I had, a sort of spooky paranormal story that's like a cross between Kolchak the Nightstalker, Paranormal and Scooby Doo. It's a lot simpler in some ways. But i'm really in love with the clone story.
Thanks for your time and the links, i'm going to be reading them after this. Take care.
"Query Letter." I'm lost. By definition, a query is all about asking, inquiring about something, yes? What's here is all about the PRESENTATION of content...
So it's an elevator pitch on paper.
"Flat Breads? Whole Wheat? Lots of Fruit?? Just one Evening Meal? Boiled Egg Breakfast??
This makes me think my book will not get published through traditional methods. :(
First!