Announcing my new Torture MMORPG.
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- Опубліковано 31 бер 2023
- An absolute god-damn waste of my time. Never again.
Patreon: / valefisk
Twitter: / valefisk
Twitch: www.twitch.com/valefisk
Company of Heroes
Total War: Warhammer II
Crusader Kings III
Crusader Kings II
Democracy 4
Hearts of Iron IV
Hoi4
#pain#gaming#valefisk - Ігри
im never working on this game again.
see you for crypt 2
BET!!
i love hot dane men
crypt 2: featuring a new Greg model with slightly more polygons
It better be Multiplayer
Crypt 2 is gonna be a battle Royale, right?
finally i can live out my fantasy of being a cylinder in a maze surrounded by many, many other cylinders, all while having a seizure
where replies this is gold
@@quailish2 bye.
third reply
Fourth reply
@@dascreeb5205 NO
Things that happened as soon as I became patreon:
-This
-Vale enters the chat completely drunk and starts saying inconvenient things
-constant cry about CNA and how bad of an idea it is to play it
-I "met" a cool polish guy and I started bullying him because he's polish
And it's only been a week and an half, gosh I love this community
dont forget barotrauma
@@ivgorm9365 I LOVE BAROTRAUMA
"Inconvenient things"...?
"starts saying inconvenient things" I hope that's intentional cuz that's so much funnier than inappropriate lmao
polska gurom
"no more crypt" -vale 2023, lying as natural as he breathed
April fools lol
And this is why he is Scarlet's mentor.
He doesnt though..you think that thing breathes?? HAH!
Sometimes you truly have to ask is Vale torturing us or are we torturing Vale. The answer is both.
Sadomasochism
Its an abusive relationship where both sides are the abuser.
Tactics Ogre Let Us Torture Each Other
It's a symbiotic relationship, we get the joy of him being tortured, he gets the joy of torturing us.
A true lose lose situation
Only indie game devs know the pain that is implementing multiplayer from nothing.
Nah. Fallout 76 devs figured out
@@hossdelgado626 Only took the game being out for a few years, but sure.
Dani was an appropriate example
especially when you have to add multiplayer to an already existing "completed" game
yep
You know what we need? A Crypt Zombies mode, where it's the one hundred players, and one person as Greg... and as the greg eats people, they become more gregs, allowing for the greg-ageddon
I was already eaten. Every new Greg gets an extra g at the end of their name.
and the Gregs can't see the players' lights, only hear their steps
I would prefer to call it Gregnarok lmao
Yes
@@T3kRazor Proximity voice chat
Everyone: haha MMO crypt, great April fool's joke vale
Vale: . . .
Everyone: it's a joke right?
Vale: . . .
Everyone: it's a joke right, Vale?
I was literally begging for this NOT to be a joke as soon as I saw the notification!
Vale, last night in a drunken state while falling asleep, i came up with the most torturous game ever. I chuckled, thinking of your friends losing their shit, and then promptly passed out.
The idea: a powerwasher simulator map of the maze from Crypt. Every wall, floor, and ceiling completely dirty with the hardest dirt to get off. The players only have the beginning power washer and no access to any cleaning fluid.
Janitors of the Crypt
We could get him to make a horrid Vicera Cleanup map
Oh hi Satan.
You’ve seen Crypt converted into an FPS map, right?
Would it even be possible to clean the ceiling?
@@sideways5153 you have a ladder.
>This is the third time I’ve opened this code base to make changes I’m done, after this I’m done
Ah the lies programmers tell themselves
5:17 Spiff asks this as if Vale has done something impossible, not comprehendible, as if he completed an ancient prophecy thought to be impossible, to slay the dragon atop the mountain, to reach the depths of the ocean, so yes Spiff Vale has done it, he has made multiplayer Crypt, a feat worthy of God.
The amount of effort that went into this April Fools joke is honestly astonishing. I'd honestly hire Vale as a Video Game developer, just because of his creativity and dedication.
The hilarity of Spiff randomly joined in just to ask "Did you fucking do it Vale?" 😂
Spiff joining the call just to ask how insane Vale is
I mean, it's two different versions of chaos. One breaks games, and the other makes/mod games that break you
The real april fools is that he thinks hes never going to touch it again
This video perfectly describes how it feels to make a game that works perfectly in singleplayer but completely breaks the moment you have multiple players
“How functional?“ Immediately starts stuttering
Cylinder is my new favorite character. So much character in that guys volume.
a truly three dimensional character
Considering how much of a psychotic eldritch being Vale is, I’m genuinely surprised it put a disclaimer in the beginning.
How are you supposed to properly torture someone who's having an epileptic seizure? He needs to ensure all his victims are conscious to for the torture to be effective :)
@@abbycaldwell3166 that’s actually genius
"It", wow!
Wouldn't the solution to getting this multiplayer version of crypt out is to have it be a sperate download?
Two copies of crypt one for solo and one for multiplayer?
Games:
Crypt
Crypt with -Victims- Friends
a
id imagine another reason this isnt public is because multiplayer has to be made pretty really well for it to not be a security hazard, like with what we saw with crab game a while ago, alot of youtubers IPs were leaked because of a flaw
I never realized that having dozens of torches in the same room actually made the room darker. Thanks for teaching me this fun, obscure scientific fact, Vale!
I was a game developer for 10 years, made many unity games and even worked at unity for a while. Hearing Vale rant about the multiplayer made me laugh.
The fact that this masterpiece is only 19 minutes long SHOULD be suable.
Looking forwards to the VR version of Crypt.
that would be hilarious
I love how Vale actually made multiplayer for Crypt as a joke.
Vale's steam engine of a computer must be burning a hole in the floor from jury rigging this game to work
"Announcing my new Torture MMORPG"
"Dear GOD"
"There's more"
*_"NOO"_*
It's funny how just yesterday I watched 4 people try and play Ubisoft's Uno for over 1.5 hours in vain. And your multiplayer already works way better.
Looking forward to Crypt 2!
Do you know what video that is? I would love to watch it
We all know he’s not done with crypt. He’ll never be done. You’re never leaving vale
Utterly terrifying
10/10
Absolutely one of the horror gameplay experience. 10/10, remarkable.
can i just say that i love that your casually friends with spiff XD. what an unexpected crossover, i love it.
Paradox Quiz Show
The best April Fools joke of the entire video was that he was done with Crypt
"It's such a waste of my life ... but it works"
This is a mood! This is a MOOD!
That's how EVERY hobbyist game dev with metrics in the ZEROES feels about their passion projects. And I'm talking from experience.
Brings a tear to my eye to see the merchant got killed by greg because you bought his gun which was his only means of protection
Finally, World of Valecraft!
I knew this was a joke vid as soon as he claimed he's been alive for more than 20 years in the intro. We all know Vale has to have his dad sign into a steam account to get past the 13+ clause
This feels like a classic Gmod sandbox experience with like 30 people in a horror map, but someone spawned a random SNPC and everyone is carrying around dynamic light sources
I was there for the patreon test and it was incredible
Jor Jor Well was inspired to write literally 1984 when Vale stopped working on the game when he was on the cusp of having an amongus mode for Crypt.
I love how i came from watching the spiffing brit to watching this.. and then he joins and asks if vale really did it xD
Good thing that you mentioned epilepsy on the start of the video Vale, i just remembered that I didn't take my meds
I was so hyped to have multiplayer crypt I was itching to call my friend and make them download it and whatever after you finished giving the name I was searching far and wide but my dreams were dashed on the rocks
I've never walked away from a youtube video with my eyes legitimately sore before, well done.
18:16 - Hey look, it's me! This patron test was super fun.
I cant believe its been 20 years since The Crypt came out
I love the process of making stuff like that. Beginning by a plan and derailing down to the point you absolutely hate it.
Vale is the one who can make the science-based, 100% dragon MMO a reality
5 months have passed and we still wait for Vale to finish the Campaign for North Africa video.
So pooman is Valefisk's official alter ego is what I'm getting from this lol
What a beautiful game. I can't wait for the sequel which will have classes and new quests added!
I unironically believed this until the price
Wait, this isn't right. I'm supposed to only see your videos after like 5 months at least, not within a day!
15/10 Cryptastic Boogaloo should've been the subtitle
I love Gaslight Day, truly one of the holidays of all time
7:10 George Washington was famous for chopping down a cherry tree to get at the succulent cherry tree wood-meat inside. Best April 1'st video hands down.
oh my god vale is actually uploading a video within a few weeks of filming it
Back in the olden days of the wood-eaters, they never would have believed people would create such a thing.
I wonder if having $9.11 in his steam wallet was intentional or not
2:21 he is “done” watch he open it up again like a year from now XD
spiff appearing out of nowhere shook me
the fact that this man is just casually friends with the spiffing brit blows my mind
“Imagine trying to botch a single player game engine into a multiplayer one. “
Bethesda: hold my beer
This Victoria 3 game is looking good
To quote out scandinavian lord, back from the TTD video:
“FUCK OFF VALE”
Watching the cylinders all run around is hilarious
Spiff jumping on was a jumpscare
Soooo, uh. How much for a DLC that lets me play as Greg against other people? Maybe a DLC that allows 4 player Gregs against one unfortunate person
ok, but what if...you posted Crypt MMO as its own steam entry? :D
Alternatively, the source code would make a funni Patreon offering so people can fix bugs and torture their """friends"""
It could be posted as a separate entry, or it could be posted as a beta which would allow people to switch between the versions.
Either way, humanity deserves for this to be released.
Man, the late 80s multiplayer test pre-alpha for DEEP ROCK GALACTIC is a lot different than I thought it would be....
This is waaaaaaaaaaay too much work for an April fools joke, now go get some sleep vale! You've earned it!
mention of starforge brought forth bad memories
Vale and Crypt be like: "Fuck you and i'll see you tomorrow"
my laptop blue screened during this video and I genuinely thought it was a second april fool's prank
I can't get over it when other well known youtubers just casually join these videos
goddamnit vale as soon as I saw this I was already thinking of having tournaments
I'm going to be sending this to all my friends for game night!
Gotta love the permanent 200 steam notifications he has
"I've been awake for days!" Sounds like torture, or you're practicing to become a Navy SEAL or something. Wow. I could never even fathom attempting that. My personal best was staying awake for 24 hours during Star Wars Uprising before that mobile title became a dead game.
Well, kudos to Crypt 1.5 and beyond.
what if, the April first joke is that the entire video is actrually cgi with everyone voice acting the lines out and the mmo was never made.
Crypt can only expand!!
Vale played Chicken Police. A true man of culture.
I seek more Crypt Mr Samsa. I must deliver Greg his Pizza Rolls.
When he is finally playing Capaign for North Africa the world is gonna become an Utopia
Oh we’re playing it alright, it sure is a doozie I tell you
This is a great video and game thanks for the great April 1st video!
I want that Greg JPG
Can we see a video on gloomwood?
"It's not often that I'm so immediately into a game that I follow its development as closely as possible, but that's the effect Gloomwood(opens in new tab)'s demo had on me when it appeared on Steam in 2020. Good immersive sims only come around once every few years so I take what I can get, but that brief vertical slice convinced me that New Blood Interactive has something special here: a neo-Victorian stealth game with the vibes of Bloodborne and the backstabs, shadow hopping, and constant vulnerability of Thief.
Now released in early access, I'm glad to say Gloomwood is shaping up to be great. New Blood has really nailed the basics-its opening levels are creepy, expansive spaces with multiple solutions and looming guards that are just the right amount of dumb. I love the lethality of my pointy cane sword, the click of the revolver as I check its ammo, and the satisfaction of stepping right past an unsuspecting goon in a pitch-black shadow."
[Mabey Mod it to make it multiplayer???]
Love the vids by the way would love to see this game if possible, also you should make a discord. Even though you said [[["What Dom says is true, I despise discord and will never, ever consider using it. It's another step towards the downfall of human civilization."]]] just MAKE ONE.
.have a good day.
My headphones stopped working right as I clicked on this video so I genuinely thought the April Fools bit was a 19 minute video with no audio
Jokes on you, your trickery doesnt count because it’s currently April 2nd here in Australia. You totally got me though…
Oh god it wasnt a joke…
Vale showing the Starforge logo awoke a sleeper agent inside my brain
I must say I wasn't expecting Spiff to appear
I thought that the Campaign for North Africa video was a joke! Very excited to watch you all lose your minds in WWII in full color!
I will pay you 2 nickles and a piece of string from my pockets for this game. Yes I know it’s a lot, but I really want it.
You know sad satan? This reminds me of that.
Wow that lighting definitely works sometimes
when gamedevs say "It's an early access experience", you know it's gonna be a hellad fun (and broken af) time
"This is the last time", he says, like a *liar*
I want to see Crypt: VRChat Edition.
All the backend is handled for you, you just need the screen effect to be in the walls/floor shader instead of a screen effect.
Udon (VRChat's graph coding tool) isn't that hard to learn
if I yoink the map and do a feasibility test, you won't go after me, right?
Game developer makes a mistake "here is a new feature i made by mistake"
Did you know that 7 is the most commonly rolled dice number
The true torture for me is a video which is only 18min long from Valefisk