It’s funny the two oldest women on the panel gave the most insight - obviously what Whoopi said at the end, & even though it’s not for Joy, I like that she called out Alyssa’s point and said there’s more to a relationship than just sex.
@@StedeBonnetsCravat every 2nd marriage gets divorced thats the problem. Wouldn't it be good to talk, communicate and find each others preferences in all place even before marriage?
Wish they would have done some decent research on this. Ethical non-monogamy means that all partners in the relationship are aware it’s non-monogamous. In other words: no cheating. And it doesn’t necessarily mean 2 people in a relationship that are sleeping around as well. It can take so many forms. You could be in a committed throuple/triad, you could have one main relationship with partners on the side, or if your partner is asexual, or ill, you could be having sex with other people to meet your needs, while still being in a committed relationship with your partner.
We’re talking about people who are honest and everyone is aware they are in a polyamory or polygamous relationship. That’s why there are so few in these relationships, because these people know what they need and want and are honest about it. They aren’t any of the above.
People talking about ethical non-monogamy in heterosexual spaces while completely not acknowledging queer relationships that have thrived because we can balance both monogamy and ethical non-monogamy.
The thing they’re missing about polyamory is that it’s not just about sex, and not everyone is as tied to their ego and acceptance of jealousy as a reaction, instead of something to overcome. Some people are built different, and that includes the poly folk
As well, with age comes perspective about relationships. Sex can be like brushing your teeth, it's a basic human need. The fairy tale romance is really just fiction. Why do we teach children that crap?
Nah, someone's feelings are getting hurt in any polyamory relationships. Too many feelings going around for someone not to feel like they aren't getting the attention they crave.
Wake up!! Donald Trump is going to turn the united States into; " Camp Auschwitz!!" This is all part of resetting the United States! History will repeat itself, Not only this. The LGBTQ+ may see the return of the Pink trangle as well!! Because of the churches that are backing trump!
Exactly. Plenty of stories of people assuming their partner was cheating, acting on that insecurity, finding out they were wrong, and damaging the trust their partner has for them and vice versa
You do not read or hear a lot of reports of polyamorous relationships that were successful despite having jealousy. If you are insinuating that jealousy can have the potential to impede relationships whether it’s a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship, you are better off just staying in a monogamous relationship. Dealing with jealousy from one partner is more likely to be better than dealing with jealousy from multiple partners.
Yeah but if they’re monogamous, they’re not openly sleeping with others. Jealousy is justified in this case. They are openly cheating on the person they claim to love. It’s abusive to women, and men can use “being evolved” as an excuse to use women without them objecting. Having no impulse control makes you no better than an animal. And you obviously have no idea what real intimacy is.
I experimented with ENM nearly ten years ago and decided I’m more into monogamy. However, I definitely understand why people do it. The fact that the ladies interchange ENM and polyamory, display that they have no idea what ENM actually is, and still judge it is so cringey.
I am a Polyamorous Wife and Mama. I'm also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. This whole segment was dripping with judgment, but let me clarify some things. Polyamory does not center sex. Polyamory means many loves and centers intimate relationships whether they be romantic, emotional, platonic, and yes some/many are sexual. But there are also a lot of asexual and aromantic people within the polyamorous community. Sex centered forms of ethical nonmonogamy include open relationships, swinging, fwbs etc. There is also nothing wrong with consensual sex. Within the ENM community, transparent sexual health discussions are the norm with regular testing practices, barrier use, and disclosure. And yes it's ethical and consensual nonmonogamy. It's not cheating. It does not violate boundaries of relationships. And actually I was the one who brought up polyamory to my now husband. A lot of women have. And polyamory was founded in feminism/womanism. As far as the energy lol. We have a concept called polysaturation. Meaning the capacity we have for multiple relationships. Some people have higher capacities than others and then sometimes life zaps your capacity as it does within monogamy (going to school, grinding on your career). I am polysaturated after 2 romantic partners but I just had a baby so I was polysaturated with one partner. Also many view polyamory as an individual identity. So even if we aren't "practicing," we still consider ourselves polyamorous because we have the capacity and/or desire to romantically love more than one person at a time and pour into more than one relationship at a time. As far as jealousy, that is completely a normal and valid human emotion. And PLENTY of polyamorous people experience not only jealousy, but envy, FOMO, anxiety, and more. We are trying not to use "evolved" language, but we do have to grow considerably within our emotional intelligence and not everyone is committed to that growth work. Yes we are currently experiencing the normalization of ethical nonmonogamy and polyamory, but representation is how we educate, destigmatize, and normalize further. Monogamous people saying how they could never...ain't it.
The thing is, non monogamy is not for everybody and that's ok. It takes a certain type of mentality to actually be ok with it. Not everybody sees life like that. Some people are just different and it works for them. So more power to them
Wake up!! Donald Trump is going to turn the united States into; " Camp Auschwitz!!" This is all part of resetting the United States! History will repeat itself, Not only this. The LGBTQ+ may see the return of the Pink trangle as well!! Because of the churches that are backing trump!
Seriously, instead of speculating and joking about it and being cynical about what you think people are capable of, why does The View not have actual polyamorous people on who can speak about it and their communities. Jeez.
Bring some polyamorous guest willing to really answer probing questions on and let’s find out. The best groups would be the proud ones who think their way of living is better than all the others. 😃. I would love to know , my daughter claims to be she’s been with this couple since her college years, and they just all bought a house together last year. She gets immediately defensive and shuts down if we try to ask her things to see if she’s actually happy or just saying so. She moved an hour and a half a way and doesn’t really invite any of us up. I hope she has sense not to buy a house with them if she isn’t happy?
Btw, polyamory is not the same as non-monogamy, which seem to be getting confused by the ladies and in the comments. I would love for The View to have guests in polyamorous relationships to help educate us, to learn from their experiences what works and what doesn’t work, and how they make it work.
@@dante6985 that is a finicky and debatable topic. Some people claim to be polyamorous because they fit a form of non-monogamy. Others are polyamorous by orientation. This is a very complex topic, but what I can say is that polyamorous people will always be most comfortable in non-monogamous relationships.
@@elisakrivas Appreciate the response. Here's my thinking: all ethical non-monogamy arrangements (not orientations) consist of agreements where all partners are aware of the terms of the relationship which exists outside of romantic / sexual monogamy. Ere go, an "open marriage" (where both partners agree to be sexually and / or romantically non-monogamous) is part of this, as is a 'polyamorous' grouping (where partners agree to have more than one mate, by definition), (as are swinging, "monogamish," and polyfidelity arrangements.) Just as long as both / all partners are aware and consent to romance / sex outside the bounds of monogamy, it's an ethical non-monogamy arrangement.
@@dante6985 the definition is about to change. Polyamorous people are fighting it. We've BEEN fighting it. Polyamory is an orientation, not relationship structure. You can ask polyamorous people themselves. Poly = many ≠ one Amory = love or ability to love So, polyamory = ability to love many people, but not only one person We're trying to revert the definition to the original roots. Again, I'm not the only polyamorous person saying this, you can ask any polyamorous oriented person and they'll tell you this. There are ambiamorous people, of course, who claim to be polyamorous because they don't know ambiamory exists, so I'd caution to ask SEVERAL people and you'll see this yourself.
@@elisakrivas Thanks for clarifying. Like many (I suspect) I've never been "in love" with more than one person before so some of this is hard to wrap my head around. If polyamory is an orientation, is a three person grouping a "throuple"? 4 a "quad"? Is it possible to be in a throuple without being polyamorous? Thanks!
You should always ask someone why they do things , before you speak about it , it will allow for fairness and a good judgment of character directly to be had. Instead of gossip that is usually he said , she said , truth mixed with not listening after a certain point , and so many things It also depends on if the person is male or female , doesn't it???? Is there going to be a explanation for the non sexual relationships and things that happen , that lead to certain circumstances and situations????
Whatever works as long as both people in the nucleus of the relationship agree to it. I will say it’s not easy to navigate but I’ve seen it work plenty of times when one’s own insecurities does not come into play.
It's so exhausting to be with multiple people because the intimacy levels are significantly reduced. Having worked with many people who tried these open relationship systems it created multiple problems for them. None were happy in the end. There is very little time to engage with one person in a deep and intimate way and then to do that with multiple people reduces the quality of intimacy that you can give to your main partner. It also creates an opening in a relationship where one person feels like they don't have to put in the work and solve problems when they arise because they distract themselves with other partners instead of facing.and resolving the issues that arise in the relationship.
Also: when two people have an emergency at the same time, the partner will not be able to be there for one person. I would not want that for myself; a man who has his attention elsewhere and doesn't show up, when I need him.
You made the mistake of thinking in monogamous terms. Can a single parent raise a child? So what if three parents raise a child? You think that's going to be harder, or easier?
Been there. Done that. At the end of the day… I’m over it. But I believe in the freedom. But it never ends well. It’s really weird and difficult thing to balance. Not worth the headache
2:36 Alyssa is correct, I've been in relationships, the person who claims they want polyamory the most usually is the most jealous when they see a hint of connection between the other individuals
It’s always interesting to me with these talk shows is they speak on topics they have no first or second hand experience in with so much certainty. How about you invite on at least one person who is within the demographic of what you’re speaking about so you don’t speak from ignorance possibly further perpetuate stereotypes and possibly do an injustice to the people you’re speaking about. Especially when they’re not going out of their way to understand how someone else may be able to do something they can’t, and reminding people there is nothing wrong with that
100% it’s almost seems this segment existed purely to perpetuate stereotypes and harm. If they had a poly person featured to speak, there’s no way half of the lazy, harmful rhetoric they were speaking would’ve come out straight to their face. All they wanted to do was speak down on people for their lifestyle and it clearly shows.
Interesting topic but I don’t get why they don’t have an expert in something like this come and talk on the panel about how it works and the reasoning behind it
Ethical non-monogamy includes open relationships as well as having several partners. Open relationships tend to be more common. Couples that have a threesome every now and then are considered to be in an open relationship. The way it’s supposed to work is you talk about boundaries and set rules of sleep overs, dates, alone vs together, emotions, transparency, off limit people, etc - ofc there are those who are toxic and abuse the situation.
@HH-gv8mx very true,,it usually goes in one of 4 directions. 1. the woman becomes the town bicycle while the man cries himself to sleep every night,,,2. the man agrees to it only so he can find a replacement for his current partner,,,3. As soon as the open relationship is proposed there's an immediate breakup,,and the 4th and most rare is it works out fine for both parties,,but even in those cases if there's children involved its not uncommon for the kids to grow to hate there parents,,,just remember the most fundamental rule of open relationships,,if it's not established in the very beginning and comes up out of nowhere down the line 95% of the time the one proposing it has already cheated or has someone lined up already
@@righteouslydefiant5362you forgot the fifth scenario and the more likely scenario. The woman sleeps with other people until she can replace the guy. Happened to a political UA-camr named Destiny. Poor Tom…
Problem that y’all don’t wanna see….. Talk talk talk. You guys say “talk about boundaries” like it’s this magic wand that will fix everything. But there is the over world , what people can see and hear. And there is the underworld. The place of hidden meanings, reading between the lines, trauma and survival tactics. Women speak often in the under world, and are great guides into it. Traumatic ones too. You can talk about boundaries until you’re blue in the face, but what’s going on underneath? What happens when someone breaks a boundary and gets away with it?
I like how candid the hosts are about their inner emotions, they are all articulate, no matter who critisizes or mocks the show or attacks the hosts. 😅you contribute to humans being more in touch to their mental health by talking and saying things out loud that gets people thinking about stuff for themselves, it is like an open group therapy session. Keep it up maybe have a guy guest host like you do every once in awhile. Thanks for being the voice and the view for awhile now😂🎉you make people engage their minds about diverse topics. Thank you all for the context.
@@kenofken9458 fair. But this discussion isn’t going away. The ladies are going to learn very soon… For them I suspect it will be when they find out how much non-monogamous people love to talk. 😱🤣
This is such a wasted opportunity to educate people on lifestyles that are different than their own. I’m disappointed that the panel didn’t have pro-polyamorous talking points. Hearing what these ladies had to say seemed really ignorant of the pro arguments. One of the big reasons why people seek pleasure outside of their marriage/ relationship is because their needs are not being be met. There plenty of married people who are OK with their spouse having a physical relationship with another person or two. It doesn’t mean that they have a horrible marriage or relationship. In some instances, this actually bring couples closer together because they can truly be honest with how they feel about their relationship. Being honest is way better than sneaking around and getting a divorce.
This shows how society brainwashes us into thinking monogamy is the best (even sometimes "the only good") way to be (happy) in romantic relationship, That jealousy is something to avoid or "listen to" instead of something to work through and free yourself from, And how they do not take the time to learn about the topics they are going to talk about prior to filming these shows (which is a real shame for the audience that end up being misinformed and reinforced in their limiting beliefs and conditionings).
As someone who is dating again after eight years and a divorce, it’s so common to come across people who are ENM on dating apps. Some even post photos on their profiles with their spouse/partner. It makes me feel like retiring from dating. It’s just about sex.
Theres a difference between swinger couples aka open relationships and poly relationships. Alot of those ads on dating sites are the first one. Poly relationships are very different. And its not all about sex, i have a great friend who has had that situation for years and its a happy healthy situation for her.
As woman in a polyamorous marriage that she initiated from the start of the relationship, it’s actually wonderful. Polyamory is not about having sex with different ppl. It’s about understanding that you’re realistically not gonna be everything for your partner and being genuinely sincere about them being able to get their needs/wants met. My partner is not my property. If he needs/wants something I cant provide, I encourage him to find it elsewhere and vice versa.
You are full of BULL !!!!, join a commune then. It's generally understood, married couples are not each other's property, (at least it should be anyway), but 2 individuals as equal partners in a union/ relationship building a home, family, and a life, and hopefully a happy life, behind closed doors. Their own. Respect, unconditional love, understanding being just a few of other the key ingredients to a happy homelife with all its and life's overall challenges, trials and tribulations that may arise during one's lifetime. A close partnership!!! No woman should or need to degrade herself sharing a man with multiple other women, (the biblical times LONG gone), to feed one man's ego. Besides, I do not know of any woman married to 10 men. Do you? And it mot being about sex,....try again, my dear. Sex is a big part of it, though he may want you to believe it's all about the differences of his women natures, intellect, and whatnot he so desires all about the sexual aspect, ...yeah right, I have a bridge in London I could sell to you!!! 4:29
So what happens when you are relegated to third or fourth favorite in terms of what you provide your partner? What if he wants to get divorced from you and married to his new favorite who meets his “needs” better? You okay with being a side piece to that new marriage?
Pretty ignorant and lack of awareness of that ignorance from some of the cohosts. They said it themselves, theyre insecure/jealous. The fact they think they ppl would be spending YEARS to pretend like they weren't jealous in their poly-relationships is anything short of prejudice.
I love the women of The View, but this is one topic they all get SO wrong and then giggle like children. The ignorance! Why not actually get curious and one day bring on someone who is polyamorous /ENM and can speak to it with authority and shed light? And I don't mean the thing that whole 1 man 2 women the media is obsessed with. I would recommend an expert like Jessica Fern who wrote the book Polysecure.
Actually, a lot of “cavewoman” cultures were very egalitarian, and even matriarchal. It wasn’t till the rise of agriculture that you saw ideas of possession and stuff like patriarchal religions start to come up, and the idea of monogamy being enforced. (But usually only for women, men could still do what they wanted, without fear of repercussion.)
OK my hubby and I have come to a agreement I can do what I want with who I want and so can he. This came about for a lot of reasons don't judge what you don't understand...
Sunny said it best when she said some are just more evolved or progressive (even though it feels America is more conservative). You have to be a secure person and realistic to human nature and the needs of others to be in an open relationship. Every couple is different and there is no right or wrong. It’s what works for them even if it wouldn’t work for you. Also I’m with Cameron Diaz in wanting separate bedrooms 🙌
Not evolved. Perverted and have no impulse control. None of those people would ever experience true intimacy. Also, it’s abusive to women but favors sleazy men.
Polyamorous relationships aren't necessarily sexual in nature. I essentially share my best friends' husband with her. I don't sleep with her husband. I don't need him for sex. But I do enjoy hanging out with him- going to concerts and to movies. She is a bit agoraphobic and doesn't like leaving the home. For years, my mother shared her old man with another woman because the other woman satisfied his libido, while she made sure he had a safe place to come home to. There were rules and the three of them followed them until the other woman didn't and she was dumped. A few months later, her old man brought home another woman, who agreed to the arrangement, and they were together for several years. It worked.
Sounds like there is always a +1 in this situation and they are sidepieces with extra responsibilities. In both your scenarios there is a "main couple".
My best friend is non Monogamous and it was the best decision she’s ever made. She lives with her boyfriend and they date other people. It works for them.
they focused way too much on there sexual part of a relationship. I tried dating a few people who were in a poly relationship just because I wanted to see if it was something I could do and I knew it was not for me. To have a true and honest poly relationship is a hard thing and I think there are definitely a lot of people who say they are but just use it to sleep with whomever or so they dont have to commit as much. The true poly relationships take a lot of work but there are people out there who have the ability to love more than on person and they have the time to commit to it. I cannot .
That “ability” doesn’t exist in the way they say it does. When you’re in love w someone there is only one person, it’s a biological thing so that it keeps people together to procreate so it’s how the brain works for this reason. Sure I can love my parents, partner and children at the same time but it’s not romantic love.
@@amamuffinI have a friend who is in a poly relationship for years. It totally works well for her, shes happy and healthy in them and they are all great at communicating and being on the same page. different people work for different things. just because you dont think it could work doesnt make that a fact lol
I have a friend who has had poly relationship for years. Shes happy and healthy in it and it totally works. You just have to be the right person and have the right mindset.
That’s the inference, but the reality is that more women are starting to discuss this as a topic, hence why the ladies of the view picked up on it. This wasn’t discussed for the gays, although it might have been interesting to have one on the stage at that moment to get his perspective. Most of you might surprised, but this is even hard for most gay men to wrap their head around. But again…..most LGBTQ people take their cues on dating and relationships from…..wait for it…..straight people, since you’re all such experts and all, making all them babies and whatnot 😂 😅
Wow. This isnt a discussion, this is just people disagreeing with it. Jealousy can happen in any type of relationship, poly people have to look at themselves on a deeper level and overcome our base feelings when they don’t serve us. There is more than one way to love and these ladies rolled their eyes at something they clearly didn't take the time to understand.
Monogamy is highlighted because it is good for taking care of kids and prolonging the species. For those who don't want kids, no need to be monogamous.
Huh? Marriage is a legal construct for tax purposes, certain government entitlements and property rights. It has nothing to do with pregnancy or children. All legal benefits exist for children whether the parents are married or not.@@rahelkamber4839
Wow this panel is pretty out of touch and clearly has done little to no reading/research on the toping of poly or ENM.. kinda sad that this is broadcast to such a wide audience who trusts their opinions.
The idea that you have to be jealous if you are in /or approve of an open relationship is wild. That's not a Polly issue that's a communication and trust issue.
Honestly I was with a married lady, who had an executive job and kids and she had a husband, a boyfriend and a side piece (I was the side piece lol) it didn't bother me at all, but for me it was more about the sex, and I wasn't jealous etc. I had dinner and hung out with both the husband and boyfriend and it was all good. But I'll be lying if I said, I was in love with her or something like that.
Because some people don't know how to be loyal .. in my experience. It call I don't know how to keep my pants or panties on ..just one more bs in new clothes...lol😅
My god... This show is supposed to be about healthy discussions and everyone is allowed their opinion, but seriously ridiculing and laughing like this? Sunny was right polyamorous people are indeed more evolved, this isn't about getting laid as much as possible this is about consenting adults who have enough love to go around. To share your innermost self with more than just one person and emotionally evolve themselves away from egocentrism, selfishness and jealousy. They do NOT deserve to be laughed at and especially not by these women who are usually a lot more openminded than this, maybe they should check themselves a little better in their monogamous righteousness. I'm disappointed in you guys...
It’s funny the two oldest women on the panel gave the most insight - obviously what Whoopi said at the end, & even though it’s not for Joy, I like that she called out Alyssa’s point and said there’s more to a relationship than just sex.
The glory of sex and the glory of marriage are often misused and used to dignify🤷♂️ ⬅️➡️ if that’s makes any sense
“How many orgasms can one girl fake?!” Lmaoooo Joy!!!
*eyeroll*
Says a lot about her sex life. Don’t have to fake anything if you communicate with your partners and talk about what you like in bed.
@@dash562 let me guess. You’re a man?
@@dash562every woman has done it
I’m not polyamorous but the panel really didn’t do any research on the topic. They were so ignorant in their opinion, that really saddened me
agreed lol I get that its "the view" but shouldnt you have some facts or research to back up your view point lol
Or say have someone is poly or ethically non-monogamous who can provide actual accounts
Me too!
Sunny asking the real question: How do you have THE TIME?
If you are unhappy or "dead" in a relationship you will find the time, its all about motivation
@@bavariancarenthusiast2722 Then get a divorce if you're that unhappy.
@@StedeBonnetsCravat every 2nd marriage gets divorced thats the problem. Wouldn't it be good to talk, communicate and find each others preferences in all place even before marriage?
@@StedeBonnetsCravatUnless you spend 100% of the time with your partner, there is time.
How does anyone have the time to have more than one child? That's 100 times harder than dealing with additional adults.
Wish they would have done some decent research on this. Ethical non-monogamy means that all partners in the relationship are aware it’s non-monogamous. In other words: no cheating.
And it doesn’t necessarily mean 2 people in a relationship that are sleeping around as well. It can take so many forms. You could be in a committed throuple/triad, you could have one main relationship with partners on the side, or if your partner is asexual, or ill, you could be having sex with other people to meet your needs, while still being in a committed relationship with your partner.
You gotta love Joy’s wit. 💜
Some people are in voluntary non monogamous relationships and some people are in involuntary non monogamous relationships. It is what it is.
Some people are fools & some people are not fools. It is what it is.
*Some people are dumb and some people are stupid. It is what it is.*
Exactly! I was in a polyamory relationship and never knew it. Once I found out, I left.
We’re talking about people who are honest and everyone is aware they are in a polyamory or polygamous relationship. That’s why there are so few in these relationships, because these people know what they need and want and are honest about it. They aren’t any of the above.
If it’s involuntary it’s by default not a monogamous relationship. It’s not a relationship at all.
People talking about ethical non-monogamy in heterosexual spaces while completely not acknowledging queer relationships that have thrived because we can balance both monogamy and ethical non-monogamy.
So true
"You know what...........if I seem like that, it's because...I'm good like that"-Whoopi Goldberg Im HOLLERING😂
The thing they’re missing about polyamory is that it’s not just about sex, and not everyone is as tied to their ego and acceptance of jealousy as a reaction, instead of something to overcome. Some people are built different, and that includes the poly folk
As well, with age comes perspective about relationships. Sex can be like brushing your teeth, it's a basic human need. The fairy tale romance is really just fiction. Why do we teach children that crap?
Poly folk have issues. They like attention. They want to have their cake and eat it too.
Exactly. It works for some, not for others.
Nah, someone's feelings are getting hurt in any polyamory relationships. Too many feelings going around for someone not to feel like they aren't getting the attention they crave.
So glad that your feelings have never been hurt in your monoamory relationships. You must be the first on the planet to achieve this.@@Ray03595
I'm a lesbian and my girlfriend and I were in a poly relationship once. It didn't work out, not because of jealousy, just too exhausting.
Wake up!! Donald Trump is going to turn the united States into; " Camp Auschwitz!!" This is all part of resetting the United States! History will repeat itself, Not only this. The LGBTQ+ may see the return of the Pink trangle as well!! Because of the churches that are backing trump!
So you basically got rid of the third wheel
@@amamuffinShe probably was on the fast track to becoming the third wheel.
Alyssa, jealousy affects monogamous relationships too, not just polyamorous ones.
Exactly. Plenty of stories of people assuming their partner was cheating, acting on that insecurity, finding out they were wrong, and damaging the trust their partner has for them and vice versa
You do not read or hear a lot of reports of polyamorous relationships that were successful despite having jealousy. If you are insinuating that jealousy can have the potential to impede relationships whether it’s a monogamous or a polyamorous relationship, you are better off just staying in a monogamous relationship. Dealing with jealousy from one partner is more likely to be better than dealing with jealousy from multiple partners.
*Why open up the door for jealousy to exist?? Just stay single if you can't handle dealing with just one person.*
My friends who are in monogamous relationships don't have a problem with jealousy. They are still into each other and faithful towards each other.
Yeah but if they’re monogamous, they’re not openly sleeping with others. Jealousy is justified in this case. They are openly cheating on the person they claim to love. It’s abusive to women, and men can use “being evolved” as an excuse to use women without them objecting. Having no impulse control makes you no better than an animal. And you obviously have no idea what real intimacy is.
"I'm not looking at anybody in particular 👀" 🤣🤣🤣
I experimented with ENM nearly ten years ago and decided I’m more into monogamy. However, I definitely understand why people do it. The fact that the ladies interchange ENM and polyamory, display that they have no idea what ENM actually is, and still judge it is so cringey.
I am a Polyamorous Wife and Mama. I'm also a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.
This whole segment was dripping with judgment, but let me clarify some things.
Polyamory does not center sex. Polyamory means many loves and centers intimate relationships whether they be romantic, emotional, platonic, and yes some/many are sexual. But there are also a lot of asexual and aromantic people within the polyamorous community. Sex centered forms of ethical nonmonogamy include open relationships, swinging, fwbs etc.
There is also nothing wrong with consensual sex. Within the ENM community, transparent sexual health discussions are the norm with regular testing practices, barrier use, and disclosure.
And yes it's ethical and consensual nonmonogamy. It's not cheating. It does not violate boundaries of relationships. And actually I was the one who brought up polyamory to my now husband. A lot of women have. And polyamory was founded in feminism/womanism.
As far as the energy lol. We have a concept called polysaturation. Meaning the capacity we have for multiple relationships. Some people have higher capacities than others and then sometimes life zaps your capacity as it does within monogamy (going to school, grinding on your career). I am polysaturated after 2 romantic partners but I just had a baby so I was polysaturated with one partner.
Also many view polyamory as an individual identity. So even if we aren't "practicing," we still consider ourselves polyamorous because we have the capacity and/or desire to romantically love more than one person at a time and pour into more than one relationship at a time.
As far as jealousy, that is completely a normal and valid human emotion. And PLENTY of polyamorous people experience not only jealousy, but envy, FOMO, anxiety, and more. We are trying not to use "evolved" language, but we do have to grow considerably within our emotional intelligence and not everyone is committed to that growth work.
Yes we are currently experiencing the normalization of ethical nonmonogamy and polyamory, but representation is how we educate, destigmatize, and normalize further.
Monogamous people saying how they could never...ain't it.
Whoopie's "good like that". Love her answer.
I love Joy,”How many we talking about” 💀 😂
I just love Whoopi, you ladies make my day, even when it’s at night.😊
😂😂😂😂ur must be a old batt
yeah if you like hateful racists!
The thing is, non monogamy is not for everybody and that's ok. It takes a certain type of mentality to actually be ok with it. Not everybody sees life like that. Some people are just different and it works for them. So more power to them
@@Gisellesmuseum someone's insecure lol
@@alexramirez9589 Very secure with one relationship 🥰
@@alexramirez9589dude, you’re using insecurity as a pejorative, there is nothing secure about you.
Whoopi’s words at the ending 🫰🏾🫰🏾🫰🏾😂
Wake up!! Donald Trump is going to turn the united States into; " Camp Auschwitz!!" This is all part of resetting the United States! History will repeat itself, Not only this. The LGBTQ+ may see the return of the Pink trangle as well!! Because of the churches that are backing trump!
Whoopi be like "I've lived a life" #EGOT 🤣
Seriously, instead of speculating and joking about it and being cynical about what you think people are capable of, why does The View not have actual polyamorous people on who can speak about it and their communities. Jeez.
I completely agree!
They are chip. The show is just winging it. Zero research
Yep. EMBARRASSING for them
Bring some polyamorous guest willing to really answer probing questions on and let’s find out. The best groups would be the proud ones who think their way of living is better than all the others. 😃. I would love to know , my daughter claims to be she’s been with this couple since her college years, and they just all bought a house together last year. She gets immediately defensive and shuts down if we try to ask her things to see if she’s actually happy or just saying so. She moved an hour and a half a way and doesn’t really invite any of us up. I hope she has sense not to buy a house with them if she isn’t happy?
Honestly she’s probably a third wheel.
I just heard this, same scenario from one of the colors that called into Chelsea Handler‘s podcast. And it sounds like the third wheel.
Maybe she shuts down because y'all judge her and she knows it? Nobody shuts down when in the presence of unconditional acceptance.
@@KenyanQueenSpeaksi was thinking the same thing.
Btw, polyamory is not the same as non-monogamy, which seem to be getting confused by the ladies and in the comments. I would love for The View to have guests in polyamorous relationships to help educate us, to learn from their experiences what works and what doesn’t work, and how they make it work.
Isn't ethical non-monogamy an umbrella term? And polyamory, open marriages, etc. are all under it?
@@dante6985 that is a finicky and debatable topic. Some people claim to be polyamorous because they fit a form of non-monogamy. Others are polyamorous by orientation. This is a very complex topic, but what I can say is that polyamorous people will always be most comfortable in non-monogamous relationships.
@@elisakrivas Appreciate the response.
Here's my thinking: all ethical non-monogamy arrangements (not orientations) consist of agreements where all partners are aware of the terms of the relationship which exists outside of romantic / sexual monogamy.
Ere go, an "open marriage" (where both partners agree to be sexually and / or romantically non-monogamous) is part of this, as is a 'polyamorous' grouping (where partners agree to have more than one mate, by definition), (as are swinging, "monogamish," and polyfidelity arrangements.)
Just as long as both / all partners are aware and consent to romance / sex outside the bounds of monogamy, it's an ethical non-monogamy arrangement.
@@dante6985 the definition is about to change. Polyamorous people are fighting it. We've BEEN fighting it.
Polyamory is an orientation, not relationship structure. You can ask polyamorous people themselves.
Poly = many ≠ one
Amory = love or ability to love
So, polyamory = ability to love many people, but not only one person
We're trying to revert the definition to the original roots.
Again, I'm not the only polyamorous person saying this, you can ask any polyamorous oriented person and they'll tell you this. There are ambiamorous people, of course, who claim to be polyamorous because they don't know ambiamory exists, so I'd caution to ask SEVERAL people and you'll see this yourself.
@@elisakrivas Thanks for clarifying. Like many (I suspect) I've never been "in love" with more than one person before so some of this is hard to wrap my head around.
If polyamory is an orientation, is a three person grouping a "throuple"? 4 a "quad"? Is it possible to be in a throuple without being polyamorous? Thanks!
I’m in an open relationship and it works for us.
4:08 WHOOPI!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😂😂😂😂😂😂
"Phone a friend" 😂😂😂
You should always ask someone why they do things , before you speak about it , it will allow for fairness and a good judgment of character directly to be had. Instead of gossip that is usually he said , she said , truth mixed with not listening after a certain point , and so many things
It also depends on if the person is male or female , doesn't it???? Is there going to be a explanation for the non sexual relationships and things that happen , that lead to certain circumstances and situations????
Agreed !
Whatever works as long as both people in the nucleus of the relationship agree to it. I will say it’s not easy to navigate but I’ve seen it work plenty of times when one’s own insecurities does not come into play.
My husband and I tried it back in 1982.......
It just didn't work.
Too much weirdness.
@@moniqueengleman873it doesnt work for you.... lol just because it didnt work for you doesnt mean it doesnt work for others. people are different lol
@@TaraZsun excellent point. It did not work for us.
So we went back to old-fashioned marriage with one free coupon per year.
It's so exhausting to be with multiple people because the intimacy levels are significantly reduced. Having worked with many people who tried these open relationship systems it created multiple problems for them. None were happy in the end. There is very little time to engage with one person in a deep and intimate way and then to do that with multiple people reduces the quality of intimacy that you can give to your main partner. It also creates an opening in a relationship where one person feels like they don't have to put in the work and solve problems when they arise because they distract themselves with other partners instead of facing.and resolving the issues that arise in the relationship.
Exactly 💯
Also: when two people have an emergency at the same time, the partner will not be able to be there for one person. I would not want that for myself; a man who has his attention elsewhere and doesn't show up, when I need him.
Simply not true .
Why are people so concerned by what other people do concensually?
😂😂😂yu must be bubu the fool@@nathanolson3135
Different things work for different people. Everyone isn’t jealous and it works for some good for them
If couples were cleaning their houses and taking care of their kids, they wouldn’t have time to bring other people into their relationships.
that part
You made the mistake of thinking in monogamous terms. Can a single parent raise a child? So what if three parents raise a child? You think that's going to be harder, or easier?
Yet you know that they would be able to find time to cheat.
Yet you know that they would be able to find time to cheat.
Yet you know that they would be able to find time to cheat.
Its fascinating how much the 150 year old western concept of sex & relationships & marriage is.
Been there. Done that. At the end of the day… I’m over it.
But I believe in the freedom. But it never ends well. It’s really weird and difficult thing to balance. Not worth the headache
2:36 Alyssa is correct, I've been in relationships, the person who claims they want polyamory the most usually is the most jealous when they see a hint of connection between the other individuals
It’s always interesting to me with these talk shows is they speak on topics they have no first or second hand experience in with so much certainty. How about you invite on at least one person who is within the demographic of what you’re speaking about so you don’t speak from ignorance possibly further perpetuate stereotypes and possibly do an injustice to the people you’re speaking about. Especially when they’re not going out of their way to understand how someone else may be able to do something they can’t, and reminding people there is nothing wrong with that
100% it’s almost seems this segment existed purely to perpetuate stereotypes and harm. If they had a poly person featured to speak, there’s no way half of the lazy, harmful rhetoric they were speaking would’ve come out straight to their face. All they wanted to do was speak down on people for their lifestyle and it clearly shows.
@@jessicajordan106Its annoying isnt it lol
All of the self-proclaimed experts on polyamory in fact know nothing at all about it.
@@kenofken9458 unless they're polyamorous
THIS
One person is all I can handle and want to handle! And even better, I live alone now!!! lol!
No. Married to only one person!!!
Society has changed so many of our morals.
Interesting topic but I don’t get why they don’t have an expert in something like this come and talk on the panel about how it works and the reasoning behind it
Because it's the view, they know everything 😁
Ethical non-monogamy includes open relationships as well as having several partners. Open relationships tend to be more common. Couples that have a threesome every now and then are considered to be in an open relationship. The way it’s supposed to work is you talk about boundaries and set rules of sleep overs, dates, alone vs together, emotions, transparency, off limit people, etc - ofc there are those who are toxic and abuse the situation.
More common in the gay community. Heterosexual couples that are open don’t usually make it.
@HH-gv8mx very true,,it usually goes in one of 4 directions. 1. the woman becomes the town bicycle while the man cries himself to sleep every night,,,2. the man agrees to it only so he can find a replacement for his current partner,,,3. As soon as the open relationship is proposed there's an immediate breakup,,and the 4th and most rare is it works out fine for both parties,,but even in those cases if there's children involved its not uncommon for the kids to grow to hate there parents,,,just remember the most fundamental rule of open relationships,,if it's not established in the very beginning and comes up out of nowhere down the line 95% of the time the one proposing it has already cheated or has someone lined up already
It sounds F disgusting
@@righteouslydefiant5362you forgot the fifth scenario and the more likely scenario.
The woman sleeps with other people until she can replace the guy.
Happened to a political UA-camr named Destiny.
Poor Tom…
Problem that y’all don’t wanna see…..
Talk talk talk.
You guys say “talk about boundaries” like it’s this magic wand that will fix everything.
But there is the over world , what people can see and hear.
And there is the underworld.
The place of hidden meanings, reading between the lines, trauma and survival tactics.
Women speak often in the under world, and are great guides into it. Traumatic ones too.
You can talk about boundaries until you’re blue in the face, but what’s going on underneath?
What happens when someone breaks a boundary and gets away with it?
I like how candid the hosts are about their inner emotions, they are all articulate, no matter who critisizes or mocks the show or attacks the hosts. 😅you contribute to humans being more in touch to their mental health by talking and saying things out loud that gets people thinking about stuff for themselves, it is like an open group therapy session. Keep it up maybe have a guy guest host like you do every once in awhile. Thanks for being the voice and the view for awhile now😂🎉you make people engage their minds about diverse topics. Thank you all for the context.
Consider getting a non-monogamous person on the show. Maybe the Multiamory podcast hosts.
Ignorant emoting gets many more views than nuanced informed discussion.
@@kenofken9458 fair. But this discussion isn’t going away. The ladies are going to learn very soon…
For them I suspect it will be when they find out how much non-monogamous people love to talk. 😱🤣
Let's not shame people for their consenual and legal sexual preferences. Thank you.
This is such a wasted opportunity to educate people on lifestyles that are different than their own. I’m disappointed that the panel didn’t have pro-polyamorous talking points. Hearing what these ladies had to say seemed really ignorant of the pro arguments. One of the big reasons why people seek pleasure outside of their marriage/ relationship is because their needs are not being be met. There plenty of married people who are OK with their spouse having a physical relationship with another person or two. It doesn’t mean that they have a horrible marriage or relationship. In some instances, this actually bring couples closer together because they can truly be honest with how they feel about their relationship. Being honest is way better than sneaking around and getting a divorce.
Reading your comment has been a highlight to my day, especially as a polyamorous person!
This shows how society brainwashes us into thinking monogamy is the best (even sometimes "the only good") way to be (happy) in romantic relationship,
That jealousy is something to avoid or "listen to" instead of something to work through and free yourself from,
And how they do not take the time to learn about the topics they are going to talk about prior to filming these shows (which is a real shame for the audience that end up being misinformed and reinforced in their limiting beliefs and conditionings).
nah lets not give polyamory a platform on mainstream tv. its not important
As someone who is dating again after eight years and a divorce, it’s so common to come across people who are ENM on dating apps. Some even post photos on their profiles with their spouse/partner. It makes me feel like retiring from dating. It’s just about sex.
Theres a difference between swinger couples aka open relationships and poly relationships. Alot of those ads on dating sites are the first one. Poly relationships are very different. And its not all about sex, i have a great friend who has had that situation for years and its a happy healthy situation for her.
As woman in a polyamorous marriage that she initiated from the start of the relationship, it’s actually wonderful.
Polyamory is not about having sex with different ppl. It’s about understanding that you’re realistically not gonna be everything for your partner and being genuinely sincere about them being able to get their needs/wants met. My partner is not my property. If he needs/wants something I cant provide, I encourage him to find it elsewhere and vice versa.
Not for me -- I don't think, but I do believe that people should do what is right for them stigma free!
Ugh!... Who has the time or energy to spread themselves that thin -- especially if children are involved?
You are full of BULL !!!!, join a commune then.
It's generally understood, married couples are not each other's property, (at least it should be anyway), but 2 individuals as equal partners in a union/ relationship building a home, family, and a life, and hopefully a happy life, behind closed doors. Their own. Respect, unconditional love, understanding being just a few of other the key ingredients to a happy homelife with all its and life's overall challenges, trials and tribulations that may arise during one's lifetime. A close partnership!!!
No woman should or need to degrade herself sharing a man with multiple other women, (the biblical times LONG gone), to feed one man's ego. Besides, I do not know of any woman married to 10 men. Do you? And it mot being about sex,....try again, my dear. Sex is a big part of it, though he may want you to believe it's all about the differences of his women natures, intellect, and whatnot he so desires all about the sexual aspect, ...yeah right, I have a bridge in London I could sell to you!!!
4:29
@@ilovegoodsax Men
So what happens when you are relegated to third or fourth favorite in terms of what you provide your partner? What if he wants to get divorced from you and married to his new favorite who meets his “needs” better? You okay with being a side piece to that new marriage?
Pretty ignorant and lack of awareness of that ignorance from some of the cohosts. They said it themselves, theyre insecure/jealous. The fact they think they ppl would be spending YEARS to pretend like they weren't jealous in their poly-relationships is anything short of prejudice.
Whoopi~ If I seem like that, it's because 'am good like that 😂👍🏽
The crowd laughing is an embarrassment
Judge Much ? Live and Let Live.
I love the women of The View, but this is one topic they all get SO wrong and then giggle like children. The ignorance! Why not actually get curious and one day bring on someone who is polyamorous /ENM and can speak to it with authority and shed light? And I don't mean the thing that whole 1 man 2 women the media is obsessed with. I would recommend an expert like Jessica Fern who wrote the book Polysecure.
Great 💡 💡 💡 💡 💡 💡
Good book and very educational! Understanding is the gift of a curious mind, which usually helps heal our hearts. 🕊 🕊 🕊 🕊 🕊 🕊
They were talking about this on Red Table Talk two years ago. Do some research and catch up.
NO, NO, and NO!!!
Actually, a lot of “cavewoman” cultures were very egalitarian, and even matriarchal. It wasn’t till the rise of agriculture that you saw ideas of possession and stuff like patriarchal religions start to come up, and the idea of monogamy being enforced. (But usually only for women, men could still do what they wanted, without fear of repercussion.)
nice segment
These women are so conservative
Polyamory and open relationship are 2 different things. to quote a famous Canadian. "No place for the state in the bedrooms of the nation"
OK my hubby and I have come to a agreement I can do what I want with who I want and so can he.
This came about for a lot of reasons don't judge what you don't understand...
That sounds more like ethical non-monogamy. There isn't a third person in your relationship.
Maybe invite a polyamorous person on your show to talk about it before sharing your narrow-minded perspectives.
Hilarious 😂 segment 🤣
Sunny said it best when she said some are just more evolved or progressive (even though it feels America is more conservative). You have to be a secure person and realistic to human nature and the needs of others to be in an open relationship. Every couple is different and there is no right or wrong. It’s what works for them even if it wouldn’t work for you. Also I’m with Cameron Diaz in wanting separate bedrooms 🙌
Not evolved. Perverted and have no impulse control. None of those people would ever experience true intimacy. Also, it’s abusive to women but favors sleazy men.
@2:40. Alyssa seems to think that feeling jealous is something to accept and not overcome
She is too young to know better -- yet. She'll get there.
Her moon is in Scorpio. She will never overcome jealousy.
Polyamorous relationships aren't necessarily sexual in nature. I essentially share my best friends' husband with her. I don't sleep with her husband. I don't need him for sex. But I do enjoy hanging out with him- going to concerts and to movies. She is a bit agoraphobic and doesn't like leaving the home.
For years, my mother shared her old man with another woman because the other woman satisfied his libido, while she made sure he had a safe place to come home to. There were rules and the three of them followed them until the other woman didn't and she was dumped. A few months later, her old man brought home another woman, who agreed to the arrangement, and they were together for several years. It worked.
Sounds like there is always a +1 in this situation and they are sidepieces with extra responsibilities. In both your scenarios there is a "main couple".
You don't have a polyamorous relationship, you're just a friend. You're not a significant other like his girlfriend.
HAHHAA I wasn't expecting that ending LMAO
What a joke lol….these ladies are full off themselves
But you’re watching the show so that makes you the bigger joke. 😂😂
My best friend is non
Monogamous and it was the best decision she’s ever made. She lives with her boyfriend and they date other people. It works for them.
Works for me too.
they focused way too much on there sexual part of a relationship. I tried dating a few people who were in a poly relationship just because I wanted to see if it was something I could do and I knew it was not for me. To have a true and honest poly relationship is a hard thing and I think there are definitely a lot of people who say they are but just use it to sleep with whomever or so they dont have to commit as much. The true poly relationships take a lot of work but there are people out there who have the ability to love more than on person and they have the time to commit to it. I cannot .
That “ability” doesn’t exist in the way they say it does. When you’re in love w someone there is only one person, it’s a biological thing so that it keeps people together to procreate so it’s how the brain works for this reason. Sure I can love my parents, partner and children at the same time but it’s not romantic love.
@@amamuffinI have a friend who is in a poly relationship for years. It totally works well for her, shes happy and healthy in them and they are all great at communicating and being on the same page. different people work for different things. just because you dont think it could work doesnt make that a fact lol
Friends with benefits! Hello?!❤ Don't sweat the small stuff.
It is usually a Friday night over.
Not an ongoing thing.
Maybe...
I have a friend who has had poly relationship for years. Shes happy and healthy in it and it totally works. You just have to be the right person and have the right mindset.
Yall need to find good conversation...
Finally a great episode!!!
Whoopi's answer, 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
“I don’t enjoy sex or relationships with men so I don’t understand why anyone would want more than one”
I agree with Sunny and Alyssa
This video vs the gay community be like
Exactly. I was looking for this comment lol
That’s the inference, but the reality is that more women are starting to discuss this as a topic, hence why the ladies of the view picked up on it. This wasn’t discussed for the gays, although it might have been interesting to have one on the stage at that moment to get his perspective. Most of you might surprised, but this is even hard for most gay men to wrap their head around. But again…..most LGBTQ people take their cues on dating and relationships from…..wait for it…..straight people, since you’re all such experts and all, making all them babies and whatnot 😂 😅
I'm gay and all my polyamory friends are actually straight lol
Disappointed by this - it seems really judgemental - the panel should be a shame if themselves
Wow. This isnt a discussion, this is just people disagreeing with it. Jealousy can happen in any type of relationship, poly people have to look at themselves on a deeper level and overcome our base feelings when they don’t serve us. There is more than one way to love and these ladies rolled their eyes at something they clearly didn't take the time to understand.
Monogamy is highlighted because it is good for taking care of kids and prolonging the species. For those who don't want kids, no need to be monogamous.
What do you mean "prolonging the species"? There is no shortage of people in this world and most of the male persuasion are not monogamous.
The whole point of the establishment of marriage was to protect the children and the women during pregnancy and after pregnancy.
Huh? Marriage is a legal construct for tax purposes, certain government entitlements and property rights. It has nothing to do with pregnancy or children. All legal benefits exist for children whether the parents are married or not.@@rahelkamber4839
ITS MUDDYS THE WATERS... I'VE SEEN MANY MANY MANY MANY BAD, NASTY BREAKUPS THAT WAS CAUSED BY THIS.... ITS SO CHILDISH
You wouldn’t eat the same thing for dinner every day, why eat the same 😺
I saw something like this person on an old African article in National Geographic.
Wow this panel is pretty out of touch and clearly has done little to no reading/research on the toping of poly or ENM.. kinda sad that this is broadcast to such a wide audience who trusts their opinions.
It works for more and more people. I think it is good for human beings to have the freedom to try new ways of living our lives.
1:19😂
The idea that you have to be jealous if you are in /or approve of an open relationship is wild.
That's not a Polly issue that's a communication and trust issue.
I agree.stay single!!
You have the time by being all together at the same time
These women are all clueless at times. They need a progressive on this show
It's one thing to be bored with familiarity, it's another to be someone seeking love and caring and only being used for brief contact.
Thats not a poly relationship lol
Sarah, you truly put a smile on my face. But respectfully, the things you say keep alluding to me that your marriage might be in trouble...
Y’all should do a segment on the sexual promiscuity in the retirement community in Florida, The Villages
Lol, so true!
Honestly I was with a married lady, who had an executive job and kids and she had a husband, a boyfriend and a side piece (I was the side piece lol) it didn't bother me at all, but for me it was more about the sex, and I wasn't jealous etc. I had dinner and hung out with both the husband and boyfriend and it was all good. But I'll be lying if I said, I was in love with her or something like that.
It's called using her. Nothing new under the sun
Oh Whoopi You Da Best. LOL
Because some people don't know how to be loyal .. in my experience. It call I don't know how to keep my pants or panties on ..just one more bs in new clothes...lol😅
🏆I am more cave woman in my relationship's - Sunny
The ignorance from these ladies hurts to watch... Maybe get someone educated to come talk about it instead of discussing how you don't get it...
Emotion is not involved it pure enjoyment
I was in one! Wonderful but taxing. 😅
My god... This show is supposed to be about healthy discussions and everyone is allowed their opinion, but seriously ridiculing and laughing like this? Sunny was right polyamorous people are indeed more evolved, this isn't about getting laid as much as possible this is about consenting adults who have enough love to go around. To share your innermost self with more than just one person and emotionally evolve themselves away from egocentrism, selfishness and jealousy. They do NOT deserve to be laughed at and especially not by these women who are usually a lot more openminded than this, maybe they should check themselves a little better in their monogamous righteousness. I'm disappointed in you guys...