The Future of Love: Esther Perel
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- Опубліковано 13 вер 2018
- www.scienceandnonduality.com
In straight talk from the 2018 Radiant Intimacy gathering, Esther Perel offers fresh insights into expectations, negotiations, intimacy, motherhood, turn-ons and turn-offs, and the coming and going of love and eroticism. She concludes with answers to a series of questions from the audience, which confirm her reputation as one of the most brilliant and original authorities on the natural history of relationship.
For more information visit www.estherperel.com
Science And NonDuality is a community inspired by timeless wisdom, informed by cutting-edge science, and grounded in personal experience. We come together in an openhearted exploration to further our individual and collective evolution. New ways of being emerge. We embody our interconnectedness and celebrate our humanity.
If you're here ..you're a very intuitive person that wants to build deep long lasting relationships and you are a rare breed!! congrats!!
Yeah, we are rare butterflies and everyone else is ok with being miserable. Sarcasm aside, let's cut out the selfagrandising soap-box speeches please.
Sweet thing to write.
The way that she validates the emotional trauma of men and the paradox of our need to be vulnerable in the vacuum of a culture of careless indifference to men's needs is so fucking beautiful and healing to hear. The way that she encourages people to clap when one man finally has the courage to voice the pain and confusion of our existential quandary... well, it brought me to tears. Several times in the Q&A, people came close to talking about this openly, and there was a few claps, and I kept shouting, "clap, you unsympathetic bastards!" And she finally addressed it at the end. I can't tell you how good that was to hear.
To me, the quality of relationships comes from within, without bitterness.
To Donna - the two things are not mutually exclusive.
Alexander, you should find the comment "Michael Fletcher" left in response to your but in a separate comment 11 months ago. Cheers:)
To Alexander. I'm in 100% agreement with you on how beautiful and healing it is to have someone (in particular - a woman - a trained professional woman - Dr. Esther Perel) validate all of the contradictions vulnerable and sensitive men must navigate over the course of their lives while displaying masculinity and the ability to be the protector.. I was brought to tears many times by her explanation and clarity.
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk has identified various kinds of traumas, including childhood trauma and how inescapable trauma causes structural changes in the brains of traumatized people creating cognitive gaps and problems with affect regulation.
Dr. Gabor Mate' has worked with the same issues from a slightly different perspective filling and adding slightly different hews - or tones and harmonies in the "orchestral" masterpiece of an individual's emotional makeup. Both Dr Van der Kolk and Dr Gabor Mate's explanations of the emotional "how's and why's" are, thought very complete in and of themselves, leave notable gaps on the canvas and in the orchestra that Dr Esther Perel fills in beautifully, artfully, and then some. I have the utmost admiration, love and respect. Thank you Dr.Perel....
I left a comment for Alexander to come find yours. 😊 Wishing you both well as I see how moved you were by the lovely Ester Perel. ❣️
I have watched so many videos of Esther Perel, and eventhough all of them touch upon the same issue, everytime I get something new out of each video. I really like them!!!!
Yes, a whole new sweet way to destroy marriage & promote degeneracy. Like if it's a gormet dish she is teaching you to prepare. You all are so gullible.
Please share a few things you've learnt. Thanks in advance 😊
So true. I’ve recently discovered her and completely immersed myself in her work. Most of her talk and interviews revolve around the same topics, frases etc. but In every single one, I learn one new thing.
We
I just LOVE this woman. She flourishes with years in all aspects. Such an inspiration!!! You are my role model, Esther Perel. And I'm sure for many other young women as well
Ofelya Aghakaryan not only young woman. I am 74 and I like Esther in the same way as you 😊😉😘
You make me laugh.
Someone that promotes open marriage is your role model??
Aha, aha, what else is good dear???
@@benvandalen5657 - BRAVO!!!
We live, we love, and if we get a chance to learn from the likes of Esther Pearl, we learn enough to truly improve our ability to Love, which allows us to Live the Joy-Filled Life we came here to Live!
Lu R You need to watch the speech again, from the beginning, and attentively ;)
Ben van Dalen ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
"The quality of our relationships determine the quality of our lives." That ending sentence is so powerful! 😘
“ The quality of our relationships becomes the quality of our lives “. That is speaking the truth!!! I Love this Ester, She is Amazing. Has helped me in every aspect of my life & #1 with my closest relationships & continues to do so. 😉
i am in love with the way she communicates
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Totally agree, but she's made the similar presentation many times, so to me it's in her conversations with others you can see her brilliant communication skills, rather than in her presentations.
"I don't have an answer, but I do know..." Honesty revealed.
As am i...
So much in love! 😍💯
Just can’t stop listening to Esther’s interesting stories on life issues. So much to learn from this exceptional woman 🙏
She is a role model. We should bring this treasure of information to young people so they can learn at a early stage in life. Keep inspiring us !
She's such a fluent and inspiring speaker! I gotta add Korean subtiles to this video to help other Koreans to watch this thought-provoking video and start to disuss more on the subject.
Women need to catch up to
stop having the same expectations of men that we had 50 years ago but new demands only for ourselves We have to give men the same choices and real freedom to make happy choices for their lives as well
"Many of us have stellar resumes but that doesn't mean we'll have stellar eulogies. The quality of our relationships determines the qualities of our lives." ~Esther Perel
I love that quote!
In the video, she attributes the former part of that quote to someone else.
That quote should be attributed to David Brooks, as she credited in her talk. Read "The Road to Character".
She advocates degeneracy. All of you looking for the next God, next hero to tell you why lifes challenges will disappear if you just read their book.
Idiots
Love has neither a future nor a past.
Love is the capacity to care about someone, the capacity to transcend your own needs and a strong desire to make another person to feel better because they are with you.
The ability to love stems from your past. That is where the future of your capacity for loving is forged.
She’s so smart and brilliant in her advice. She’s spot on!!
The Q&A at 29mins is the highlight of this video. Great advice across the board.
This made me cry. Such a great lecture. Thank you!
This woman is teaching LOGOS that is forgotten to our generation.
🙏👍
what is LOGOS?
@@jelizabethpetrie6656
Core morals and a selfless lifestyle lived for our family and friends and never giving in to materialism.
FLY ON THE WALL 🙏🎯
She is so wise and on point, charismatic and beautiful in and out! 🥰
Thank you so much for your insights, openness & nonjudgementalness...It provides a conversation starter for many people who either won’t or can’t afford counseling’. It is so valuable right now in my life and the world! 🙏☀️🌝👏💖🌎
Also how good you are treated is a turn on, listened too, respected, spoken too, honoured, cherished , appreciated, adored, truely loved, protected. Betrayal, betayal of any kind, is the biggest turn of, accumulated betrayal makes the partner completely unsexy. And being just a stress release object pisses the biscuit of, a complete turn of.
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Around 1:00 - I am 100% amazed at how well my daughter's father managed this! I had no appreciation for that until this moment!
She is an amazing ...Love the way she speaks her truth .
She is the breath of fresh air!
I love her message....it’s raw and true. She gives as it is.....no beating around the bush. Keep up Esther I love you😘
Q
This is amazing! Thank you!
I can listen to her for hours...
Excellent talk...
I love her personal style❤️
“ The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”
I suppose that is true if one identifies with quality .
However if one identifies with what quality appears inside of , then quality becomes a speck in the vastness of that which is awake to itself.
Thank you for this video Upload. Thanks big time for all the light you brought to me ESTHER PEREL.... as you said there really is so much to learn
Thank You so Very Much for your education.
I guess it's the best I have ever heard.
From Sweden
She's just Awesome!
This woman make think about my relationships in my life, they need to change
Me too...😊
Well, did y'all change em?
Thank you you’re amazing
I love this lady......
Love Her Videos!..Always Something New 2 Learn! lol
Love needs SPACE!!!!! Talk.
Thank you for this video. My brain 🧠 just exploded with knowledge and reason. Beautiful- Logical woman. ♥️
Dear Esther Perel...I have listened to at least 20 of your beautiful lectures and feel compelled to share with you some of my thoughts about “Love and Desire” and relationships.
Love and desire are forces which almost always is headed in, opposite directions to each other.
Love is spirited by what you want and can do for the partner, leading to your own peace and happiness.
Desire is involved with what what you perceive to be your need to receive and deserve, in order to enhance your own happiness.
Sexual acts and eroticism is the opportunity to express both, while still “caring, giving and receiving.
The answer to me is easier to express verbally than to actually accomplish, but has no chance unless each one starts with the same premise of “first thinking of the other”...ie a “soulmate”.
Alan S
I love Ester Perel. She has taught me so much. Merci beaucoup!
Esther Perel is phenomenal
Excellent!
Great! Exactly what I was looking for. Partner and I are in the middle of negotiating our relationship and not knowing what I want or need from a 'relationship' found this video to be insightful, informative and exciting.
I dont know if you have heard some of her other videos. She tells us NEVER to use the word negotiate when it comes to our personal relationships because you are not in business. You are dealing with affairs of the heart ect.
This is truly extraordinary. I read a book with a similar theme, and it was truly phenomenal. "The Art of Meaningful Relationships in the 21st Century" by Leo Flint
Thank you x
I bring myself to this conversation.
The hero we all need 💜
👍👍👍 good, reasonable and at moments funny talk.
One of the most intelligent women alive .
She does speak 9 languages and grew up in a household of 5 languages. 😳
I really relate to the definition of infidelity being defined subjectively by each couple. My husband and I had that conversation within the first few months of us becoming a couple. It is something that really depends on your individual and collective (between just the two of you) comfort and jealousy levels. It also requires and implies great trust and respect because once you set those boundaries, it can only change through renegotiation. If it gets broken, it's so much more hurtful and personally offensive than just breaking some vague social norm.
I believe this is true.
Absolutely.
She's just a wonderful speaker/communicator!! She has so much wisdom;;
Yes!
Isn't she amazing.
She promotes polyamore/open marriages/village style of about 50 people. Do you payhom the ramifications & inpact on society with this ideas of her? Do you?
She just packages her degeneracy really well.
Qwality Communication… beautiful…💫✨💕
Quality *
Not the act but the enchantment.
Beautiful speaker.
I was slap as part of discipline, once I was hungry 🤤 and stole a bread from my aunt grocery store, mom was at work I was left alone I was 7 . Aunt told my mom and mom burned my nails to teach me a lesson , never steal from no body. I’m 52 now and have flash back sometimes. Yes I learnt the lesson aside from it -grew up being afraid to be alone. Oh stories 😂
God Bless You! Estele...☀️ the answer is the support that the Community (village) offers.❤❤❤ Peace, Minister Hanifah Hightower, Detroit
Thank you ❤️
Thanks your speaker is reality
Great talk
Navigating Relationships: A Series of discussions with Esther Perel and Jordan Peterson
How do we get those two people to meet and have a discussion? :)
They will have several disagreements and out of that wonderful conversations and truths will emerge.
This needs to happen.
Waiting for this to happen 🤞
Wonderful
This is an impactful piece. A book I read with similar subject matter profoundly changed my outlook. "Stars Aligned" by Olivia Whitestone
This woman is pure sunlight...
Very good
Just brilliant
As long as you give men and women the choice whether to experience or deny commitment, relationships will survive.
She is quite an amazing woman!
Genius !
Amazing
Your a great communicator , i love your story
Ayurvedic( including dieting )medecine without excluding allopathic-medecine, ...aka holistic food & apt medecine, takes us a long way I hope.
Once you are intimate with someone else it is hard to go back to the same place in a relationship. It is no longer sacred, trust is lost and you can never recapture the unity you had before.
Different couples experience intimacy in their own way, and whilst intimacy may be lost due to infidelity and that shall be the end of a relationship; others manage to surpass and build a stronger bond through the journey and work they do whilst re-building that trust. As many people as many journeys
In a relationship that'll has been going on since '97. We me after my divorce. She had never been married but had had a failed long term relationship. We have our own homes. We have not married. She is seven years older. Now she is retired. So now I need to understand how to navigate a geriatric relationship.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
The substance of this content is transformative. I read a book with analogous material that was a life-changing experience. "Stars Aligned" by Olivia Whitestone
I wish she was my Mother!!!
👍👍👍👍👍 brilliant gal. I am in a relationship of 10 months which is outstanding and every level however he said something to me that rub me the wrong way and this is what it was “I had a good friend who was a pimp and he made a lot of money -I gave it a feeble attempt but it wasn’t for me I was too soft hearted.” So, what the hell? He said he was a wild crazy thing back then using party drugs etc. but has had a metamorphosis it is very spiritual and healthy and alternative at 73 years old.
Realise people are three dimensional. There is what they have done, what they do and what they want. You are not going to change this person. They are telling you they have changed. Accept that.
People can change.
Honesty FIRST. Cheater’s are thieves; of another’s time and right to make informed decisions. Cheater’s are the lowest of the low * Find someone who wants an open relationship; don’t lie to another person.
That was a thought one, this are the rough of love
Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹
Y'all such an inspiration 🥰
Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖
Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈
Eros transcends sexuality and originally is further more than this.Symbolical meaning of it is enormous, creative.Rollo May wrote about it .
a lot of assumptions made about how people felt in the past as you write today's history based on it!
I don't believe anybody knows what was in the heads of two lovers a thousand years ago but they can definitely use what's in their heads today as a foundation stone!
this part of humanity doesn't evolve because it's what got us here! it's a constant!
Correct it's called hindsight bias 😎😎
That first question was a great question to consider.
I wish I can see her professionally for my own separation and divorce. I think that she has revealed about my situation with my soon to be ex wife. She makes me cry with her theories and I wish to lean more. My ex should have watched her many talks and perhaps she could understand how we should have moved on instead of breaking our family and divorcing.
Gij bent een Vlaamse !! AAAaahhh Dat is verschieten :-D Love the podcast !
Esther is so beautiful
to the guy Ryan , at 1:02...don't worry what others think. Be your own "Model" ! It Is Already IN You ! You were born with the Gifts In Place within you. You are good to go ,right where you are.
I don't need my partner to be my 'best friend.' I don't necessarily need to confide everything in him either. Trust and respect are essential, but he doesn't need to bare his soul to have trust and respect. 'Chemistry' IS important...though it doesn't have to actually lead to sex all that often. Eroticism rather than action.
Gosh I wish everybody should watch this 😱❤️🙏
Monogamy was never one person for life. Death was much more common and people expected they would remarry.
I concur with all she says. The role changes with women working have not served us as well. Hence all the divorce
She is fantastic but ai wish she would deal with people who are feeling really stuck in relationships because they have a platonic relationship with intransigent partners who will not give them
any sexual love or affection or go to counseling.
Basically that is when it is best to have an affair and not tell your partner.
@@LSSYLondon lol what good advice 🤦🏻♂️
When they won't try to change for the better, YOU are better off breaking up and moving on. I know you might love them. But you can find a better love. Love doesn't hurt. Toxicity does. Don't leave yourself in a bad situation.
Would it be fun to have her and Dr. Jordan Peterson talk together?
yes!
Very much fun.
thank you for saying that ;)
Ooh how about Peterson in a counselingsession with Esther
Peggy Harris absolutely because I’ve never seen her have a debate with opposing views, and there are many things wrong with what she says
Octavio Paz
Though I am unfamiliar with opposite sex...I believe in her IMAGO DEI, sprout out from my imago dei.
Honourable + respect = happiness
I would like to be in relationship in my 50s💃💃
am simply blowen
I wonder if the guy who was vauge discovered the red pill. This is a crowd where I wouldn’t want to be admitting that either.
Be careful who you follow.
ua-cam.com/video/UpFGF41v7iQ/v-deo.html
I wondered if he came out as bi or something like that...
I dont mean to be crass, but DAMN do I find her attractive. I don't just mean that shes physically good looking, which she is (and extremely good looking for her age) but I bet her mindset would make not just for a "hot" date but serious connectivity. Her openness, honestly, and overall understanding about what turns us on and makes us tick is just astonishing.
The way in which you expressed your attraction is the opposite of crass. You respectfully expressed physical attraction while pointing out that her mind is even sexier. This is exactly what a woman desires to hear from a man (except for the "for her age" part 😉).
@@mapple34 spot on
@@mapple34 Keep fooling yourselves! She is no more physically desireable! It is just like a woman saying she is attracted to the shorter version of a guy
Age is very relevant only faeries feel the need to hide it.