My ex was watching me from a different page I didn't know on my birthday. Once I posted my new relationship he cursed me out from different fake numbers.... mind you this man has a whole relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. He told me he sees the type of person I am and I'm not loyal.... he wanted access to me whenever he wanted and was mad I moved on. I blocked every number and page on social media. He's her problem now..
You can't worry about the smear campaign. They will do that no matter what. Accept it and enjoy your life. Be pink and positive. Don't allow a narcissist ruin your life. I have strong boundaries now. I learned so much from this experience and my life growing up. I don't care. I am so indifferent to this person. People you have to do your thing. There is life after Narcissist abuse. I would suggest learn about your upbringing and why you allow toxic people to control you. Why stop your life. So they see you are happy without them. I DON'T CARE. I am going to go forward with my life. Click on like if you enjoyed my comment. Keep strong. 5 weeks non contact. DON'T GO BACK. I think there is a difference, because, I discarded the person. I am writing a book to help others, so, they won't go through this again.
Your exactly right!!!!! I never thought about it but after my bf said some things. It clicked "MOM" he says the same cruel things sje did. I am really trying to heal from childhood trauma of many levels but I'm struggling and doing it alone....please pray for me or send positive thoughts....thank you so much
@@mightymouse1005 ust the fact that you are aware of your childhood will make you a stronger person. Remember I learned as well. Boundaries are so important. You deserve a great life. You can only control yourself. I am proud of you. Baby steps
I outsmarted him, I don’t have social media anymore. He can’t follow me if I don’t give him access to my life. He will never steal any more time, my care and my happiness from me.
I only have farcebook. And I just post funny meme, meme about getting old etc. Have at it. No personal information and the photo is a side shot of me when I was seven. My location, Alma mater and relationship status are blank.
Agreed. No contact is the best. Block Block Block. Get rid of flying monkeys. Protect yourself and moe on. If you need the authorities to call do it. Go with your gut feeling.
@@lindaasulin7200 get them on child support and or get a visitation schedule from the courts. Hold them accountable at all times when it comes to being consistent if not you get sole custody if all else fails.
@@lindaasulin7200as other comment said, depending on where you live, get child maintenance through an automated system, go to court for child agreements and use an app like family wizard for communications - just about kids, keep it like a business email, set up a particular day to read their messages and take time to think before replying, keep it grey / yellow rock. Third party handovers are an idea too.
"I got back with my ex and they said 'I know a place' and they took me to hell" 🤣🤣🤣 bro you're so funny as well as being wise 🙌🏼. I am healing through going no contact and focusing on my goals and my passions but needed a top up of wisdom, reminders and encouragement - this was definitely it so thanks 🙏🏼
@@MentalHealness I think a million miles away. Block Block Block... No contact. I feel myself again. They can do the smear campaign, hack, tell people you are the problem. Who cares. Don't let them take up a second of your real estate in your mind.
FACTS💯💯 he tried to come back 2 years later because he saw that I was in a new relationship....I sent him on his way...he had me and loss me...his loss. He stalked my home and left notes on my car...while in a relationship with someone else. The Nerves. I'm not giving up my good man for a Narc. Don't go back people. Nothing will change.
So happy for you. You sound like a thriver like myself. Boundaries are of the utmost importance. It looks like you are a thriver. Good for you to be happy with someone else.
@@dianepinkyharman1346 Thank you I appreciate that. Yes I'm a thriver....it wasn't easy but one has to love themselves and have standards and boundaries
Leaving notes knowing ur in a relationship is so disrespectful, smh that's crazy he still hasn't learned his lesson at all trying to intrude on your happiness. I'm happy you kept it moving! Get you a restraining order against him, he's not going to stop
They feel so unhappy & insecure with themselves deep down that they project all of that on to others. Then when their victims say “Hey, I can’t do this anymore” and they move on, that’s when they come back in & try to hoover. “If I’m unhappy then nobody is allowed to be happy without me”.
So true. Ignore the hoovers. They don't care about you. They are just looking for their supply and people to abuse. I am also an empath, but, now I have boundaries. No one messes with me. Thank you for sharing. They are miserable pe3ople and want others to be as well. I am not miserable. I am going on with my life. I am pink and positive.
Narcissist don’t change!!!! It can be a boy friend, husband, wife , girlfriend , family member or just a friend. Just let them go forever if you want to stay happy.❤❤
For you to be going to therapy and addressing these characteristics is worth a freaking standing ovation. Honestly, it's like the least narcissistic thing you can do, and its incredibly awesome that you're owning everything, bettering yourself and helping others. Bravo Lee, I really enjoy watching your content as I am a surviver of narcissistic family members. Thank you for your realness
@@2GracefullyAnointed-Savvy1 The feel good stuff is irrelevant when your Bible has scriptures like Exodus 21 where it instructs you on how to beat your sl@ve.
Not only is my ex a narcissist, but my own mother is as well. I’m divorced and trying to find my happiness and both of them are trying to disrupt that at every opportunity 😭
I’m in the exact situation. I escaped via “operation secret squirrel” (fleeing in the night). Relocated to be closer to family. Trying to recover while divorcing and here comes another narc (mom). Started doing some of the same things. Thank goodness I knew the signs. I was starting to think I was going crazy! Stay Strong!!!
Thanks AJ for the advice. How do you cut your mother out of your life? I know that’s a stupid question, but the backlash from doing this will be surreal!
Confirmation. The discard is also a result of them wanting you to be unhappy in my opinion. I've felt I was being punished with my emotions. You're speaking facts.
The discard phase is awful. Remember your name is smeared during the relationship not just after. In my opinion you can't react. In Dan's case he reacted to everything and it made Betty worser.
They will tell you go find someone that makes you happy it's not me. They don't mean a word of it, they want you with them and so they can make you even more miserable than they are! They want you to make them your priority while you're at the bottom of their list of priorities if you even make the list at all.
You are right. You will never be a priority. The only person they care about is themselves. They drain your energy like a psychic vampire. Your health goes down, while, they are so happy. Discard Discard Discard.... never look back.
Man did I learn this the hard way after letting an ex back in my life after 1.5 years apart and I was happy and he derailed my entire life goals that year and set me back sooo much!
Christina we all learn. Don't put yourself down for going back. Give yourself a kiss and go forward. You don't deserve to be abused. No one does. I discarded the person 7 weeks now. No contact. I am protecting myself. I am an actor and rapper. I can't control the smear campaign. We can only control ourselves. Be the best you possible. I know I am.
True ...I used to say to my ex why cant we just be happy in peace ..he would always say life is not a fantasy ....now I live a fantasy and I will never change it for nothing .
This is exactly why I keep myself off of Facebook and Instagram...my PRIVACY is precious to me especially inorder to keep myself happy. I love this channel the advise and 1st hand personal experience he shares with us is something I've never gotten from an actual therapist.
Exactly. When you said time is no apology. My ex narc got back in touch by randomly liking my fb pics after years of no contact. All just an effort to test what your reaction is going to be. If you are nice to them again they will see that as a weakness to then start telling you a completely different version of what happened in the past painting themselves out to be the victim. Hoping because you are being nice/civil back that you will give them an apology and accept the blame for their actions. Even though you both know that you definitely dont owe them any apology. Then when you present/remind them about the real version of what actually happened with evidence, they will then come out with... O.m.g it's in the past. Get over it! With no remorse and zero apology for all the trouble and chaos the caused.
Block them on all social media. They are the cunning 😈 Devils who target the innocent naives to get what they want...Never ever unblock them..Be strong 😅 Spend time with positive friends 👍👍
I set strict boundaries, I even got a separate number so he can text and call that number to get in contact with his daughter. All of a sudden he’s messaging me about wanting marriage, then with the same breath tells me I pushed him to another woman that lives in another country! He choose her over me! He kept telling me I’m the worst woman and his biggest mistake . And that hurt but it opened my eyes ! NEVER ON GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD I GET BACK WITH THAT GUY! I’m single I don’t even want a relationship right now, not because I’m hurt but because I realised that I need to work on me love me …. All of me
When I was in my 20’s this is exactly what happened. They left me after cheating and wanting to continue to chase after one of these women, and as soon as I was with someone he tried to come back in the most dramatic way saying he was finally ready to get married. Of course I got back with him and he was never able to move forward with commitment. I didn’t know about narcissism back then. I feel like this is the Age of Enlightenment when it comes to this personality disorder for me. I am seeing now a string of them starting in my childhood. Knowledge = power. I am finally breaking the chain. Thanks Lee for another great video!!Healing through your channel.
So proud of you. You are now in control of your life. No one needs to be manipulated and abuse3d. This person did elder abuse on me. I discarded her and am protecting myself. Boundaries are numero uno.
My ex told me “ballin his eyes out” 🧐 telling me that his whole reason for cheating on me was so I can hurt as much as he did, and he saw no effect so he had to keep his relationship going! Saying that he’s not as strong as me. They truly want to see you hurt, and if you’re smiling or happy they start to wonder whose bringing that happiness into your life. He thinks I’m with someone and always tries to get information out of me. I have to coparent with him so I’ve learned to create boundaries and make any conversation only about the kids. Cut them off don’t give them any info about you than is needed.
My ex stole my phone (during a custody exchange) and found some adult text from someone I was dating and sent them to all my friends and family. When I confronted him about it, he said "Whoever did this wants to alienate you so you will have no choice but to depend on them.". Then he admitted to doing it a few days later. So he made his motives very clear.
I don't think it's a "personality disorder" like they are defective, or where made into who they are. I think it's a disorder of the heart...... they are mean, uncaring, vengeful, spiteful for no good reason. They do what they do because they can, that's all....demons.
You are truly the only narcisstic person, that i don’t wish to punch in the face. So yes you are my favorite 😂 In fact your content is probably the main reason why I’m still standing, because i saw a lot of signs and realised i was not going insane, using your advices and techniques, has saved me from so many conflicts.
Thank you for raising awareness and helping others. My daughter and I suffer from narcissistic abuse from my ex husband and I just finalized the divorce. That’s one dark path I will never take again. He asked my daughter to lunch after the hearing and she declined and told him he mentally abused her for many years and the relationship ended there. I was so proud of her but felt guilty also because I stayed in the relationship far longer than I ever should’ve. Hoping all who suffer are able to heal and I hope you find your happiness.
I feel so bad because my daughter who is an adult told me after I divorced my husband, her father. All of the things that he said to her and how he treated her that I didn't know about. And she isn't angry at me, but she said that she couldn't understand why I stayed with him so many years.
Thank you for sharing. My ex turned my daughter against me. The divorce took 4 years. It was hell. I tried to get full custody. It is so sad that the children of a narcissistic parent will be damaged. We need to have education at an early age to show children they are not to be blamed and scapegoated. We need to have psychologists every school. Education is key.
I appreciate that you qualified your comment with if you are happy being single as well as in a relationship don’t take them back - single is sooo satisfying and peaceful
They are the worst ever like never experienced this time of mental emotional torture in my life Thr smearing on Fb and flooding their profess love of their new so called supply they are pathetic 😭 your screw with them and then after you leave them they go and do heavy damage as well however it’s best we push thru the hurt leaving they tails vs settling with them
@@gloriakuhn8670 ...well in my case, I'm over 2000 miles away...but in your case, if you happen to run into them, it's probably not a coincidence. I used to think that it was them wanting to see me so bad cause they loved me so deeply and missed me...but in truth, it's just another diabolical narc move, why do that when you were only a mere phone call away?...they do it for avoidance...if they call, you might think that you are special (you feeling special is the last thing that they want)...if they run in to you by happenstance..they are getting what they want scott free...when you see them, run ...run as if it's for your very life!!!
If only that were true…. You can block everywhere, you can change numbers, you can change email, you can even move… if they are bent on it, they’ll find you and continue to stalk you… Unless you disappear yourself… The ego is bigger than anything else. Orders of protection are simply pieces of paper… and they know it.
This is golden. It should be a verse in the narcissist bible code. "They brought me back down to the depths of me being unhappy. I got back with my EX and they say I know a place and took me to hell". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I am happy and I don't care what this person thinks. I now have boundaries and will not be manipulated. I stand up for myself. There is life after narcissistic abuse.
I have to admit that hearing you speak triggers me, you remind me of my ex. But, I really appreciate you being here and talking about this stuff. You have given me some great info, thank you.
I think that’s why his videos help me so much. I’m still in the situation and I just wanna get out. But I keep getting roped back in. When I hear his voice -when I see his videos, I realize that it takes a very strong person to want to change- my soon to be ‘wusbund’ is very weak. It also reminds me that I need to go because this is not what I want for the rest of my life.
I've experienced this on so many levels specifically from family, friends, and exes. If you block them they create fake accounts or contact you through other family members/friends. As soon as they sense happiness you can expect some form of communication... Positive or negative they are thirsty for information and attention and will try to destroy all aspects of your life. You must establish boundaries and protect your peace.
Ooooh. I definitely need to watch this one. This is what I'm scared of because he made comments about showing up a year after I've moved out and doing the whole John Cusack boombox scene outside of my window. I don't want him coming crawling back, or creating drama again, especially when he realizes I'm so much happier now. He was a horrible toxic person who broke me down physically, mentally, and emotionally over almost 12 years. If you love someone you don't destroy who they are, and turn them into a shell of who they used to be when you met. We have lots of friends in common on our social media but I'm too scared to post anything that would show that I'm happy now. I just want him to stay out of my life.
It makes it hard with mutual friends doesn't it! I blocked my nex but his family on my page and friends - I know they're all loyal to him but his parents were like "we're still there for you" like I can't block them too... So I just rarely post anything anymore...
I did this too. No posting on social media for 5 years now. He will use any info against me as he possibly can. I think its Worth not posting for peace and a calm life. I know he ca ușe anything against me because he done IT before, in and after the divorce. I think ur mental health its more important now
@@octavianbunica22 Me & My Ex Narc was Married for 12years with Children. I did all my possible best to be faithful to him and I always made my mind that I want to be the best house wife as that what I dream since college days. Nothing work out when you’re with a narcissist, My narc Ex still went ahead by threatening to file a divorce and take custody of our children because I caught him severally cheating with different lady and even my friend I also knew a lot of illegal stuffs he does and how addicted he’s to alcohol. I had no choice , My Nanny told me about this Private Investigator which is also American Spy Guy he’s expert in tapping phone and web without leaving a trace,He got into my Husband phone and drives. I found Dirty proofs, real dirty things. All deleted Messages, chats, Videos, Call history from 12years back where unveiled to me. This proofs where helpful cos he worked my papers for me and now I can stay with my child and have a good job. Don’t let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more, follow him on Instagram. @brano_tools Www.instagram.com/brano_tools/
Even though I blocked him on my social media pages, he worms through and since we broke up, I moved across state and with my sister and her family. I’m going to concerts. I’m going horseback riding on the beach. I am checking things off on my bucket list I post pictures of going out and having dinner. He actually called my girlfriend and said, I see your friend is enjoying her life now. I hope she’s happy it’s killing him even though it’s killing me being away from him I’m doing me I gained 10 pounds because I got so horribly thin. My self-esteem went through the roof and I know it’s killing him to see this.
2008 started dating. 2015 got tired and left. 2016 gave a chance, the "old person I was trying to get back" came back. (When I was happier) 2017 She got pregnant and Plan B "didn't work." Was hell since then and it got worse, emotionally disconnected then and emotional cheating 2019-2021. Discarded and been single fighting to get my daughter safe from more abuse (multiple types) and manipulation. No More.
This person is offering real healing advice. I cannot express how much I hope more people find them. Understanding a real narcissistic is healing. And freeing.
Agree with the 6th sense. My ex called the day after I announced a new girlfriend on social media...thats not a coincidence. I could sense her toxicity through the cellphone as she called from her friends cellphone. Just had one word for her after she presented herself: "goodbye" and next I hung up. Since then I havent heard from her....silence is nice 🙂
All I can do is shake my head... The first half is too long to even speak on but I cut all contact and went on with my life. The business I started while with him started flourishing, my finances were in good condition, and I was just happy and at peace... Here he comes wanting to "make things right" and I fell for it...6 months later, I'm pregnant and have never been more miserable in my life! I could tell he thought I was stuck now bc of the baby coming but I went back into 'no-contact' a few days ago. I was mind-blown that a person would come back JUST to treat me worse than they did before!
lI heard when you go back to the Narc they treat you worse. This is because they feel you are ok with the abuse. Stay strong. For me, I discarded the person. I think she is silent because she knows, don't mess with me. the person sees me driving No supply to get from me. Move on to your next supply
Lee…after 23 yrs of abuse from him. At the end he took it out on our only son who is disabled. My son begged me to file for Divorce. He tried to destroy us & still is. Going on a two yr fucking divorce. He’s contesting. NO CONTACT FOREVER! Thank u for your truth. It has helped me more with than u will ever know. 💕
Just as I was finishing up this video, my abusive ex started sending me a bunch of photos of us and our pets and vacations. Dang, I got here just in time.
My ex called me last night for the first time in weeks since I broke up with him permanently this time. He’s been so hurt about it. I’ve been the happiest and most productive I’ve ever been in my life and it makes him miserable. He keeps hinting at how sad he is in a way that I used to react to with trying to pry him open and get him to communicate better. But everytime he does it now, I don’t respond or I give a very generic response then say I have to go. We were together on and off for 3 yrs. I told him ”look… I don’t think this is ever going to work. We’ve tried too many times and still have the same issues. I’m not gonna keep wasting my life with you. I’m done.” He tried to manipulate me into staying, so I manipulated him back and pretended to be interested again, then ended it permanently after getting his hopes up. Now I feel like the narcissist lol. But I have no interest in ruining his life the way he ruined mine. I just want him to take care of himself and leave me alone.
My ex plays this game so much that if sabotaging moving on/happiness was an Olympic sport, he'd be dripping in gold.. Congratulated me for going back to college, turns around and decides to drag out our divorce as long as he could to keep me financially linked to him (he makes high 6 figures, I was a sahm with our kids and no income) so I struggled to get financial aid. No alimony until its finalized and no monetary settlement either). 2 weeks after I graduated, signed the papers. Selling my plasma twice a week was preferred over being controlled by him.
Happiness is the cure for healing, the Narcs hate to see you smile when you are gone, you can be broke with no money; they still don't want to see you happy with anyone or anything. Even though I do not see him, people has told him , I am happier without him, and he hates it.
You’re the only person I like with Narcissistic Personality Disorder because you’re being Honest in these videos. Thank you for making these videos and saving lives!!!!
I was with a narcissist for 11 years. We broke up when I first got pregnant because I refused to allow him to continue to mistreat me during my pregnancy or me not be able to be a good parent to my child because of the constant emotional abuse. We have been broken up now for 4 1/2 years. He has been coming around to see our son more lately. I have not dated, and have been abstinent since we broke up. I’m trying to stay strong around him. He has made both sexual and relationship advances towards me over the past year or two and buys me gifts on holidays. A couple of time during conversations with alcohol involved I have revealed too much information to him about my sexual status. When he comes around he is clearly trying to be on his best behavior to reel me back in. We also are both physically attracted to each other still. However, I know the consequences and that will be a huge catastrophic mistake in my life. What can I do when I do start dating to ensure that he will not ruin my new relationship.
i gave her 20 years break and she was still ready to take me down 20 years later. so i said bye again this week. so happy to get her out of my life. crossed my boundaries within 5 minutes, and i knew better than to go ahead with her in my life. she made this process easy and pain free.
I am so liking your videos. I discarded a narcissist December 2022 and last weekend I went out with a girlfriend and met a new guy and had fun. I put a photo up on social media of me smiling and having fun and my ex suddenly deleted his facebook page, didn't just block me but it did prove that he has been stalking my page since i broke up with him. It is funny because what you said in the chat was so on target with behaviours.
I’m in a toxic relationship right now, and This has crossed my mind many times! I I leave this situation and meet someone else, and be happy, that my ex will come back and say all the things I wanted to hear… THANK YOU FOR THE HEADS UP!
Mine told me he has changed and is in the church now….I responded with keep on doing what you do I don’t need you beating me and the kids in the name of Jesus again & hung up the phone. They will lie to get you back. Don’t listen to the lies
Stay strong. I discarded mine because I saw the light. I am not being abused anymore. Narcissists will never be happy with the new supply. Love bombing, then devaluing... discard. You know what is going to happen. You deserve to be happy. Do things that you enjoy. I am thrilled I discarded this person.
Time is not an apology. Exactly. Just because time has passed doesn't mean these people did you right. Doesn't mean things are any less wrong with them. Time will pass anyway.
I feel like after I rejected his sorry ass lil offers to come back around, he finally realized I'm actually happy and happier without him👏😌. I used to have a desire to always let him come back around when I would cut him off. Now I'm numb to it, so it's so easy to keep him tf away 😆 I done had too much time to heal and too much time enjoying my peace after his toxicity ☮
Holy crap! Now I get it! This is exactly what happened 😳...so, healing and happiness is the way forward ❤️ and I welcome that! I wasn't with anyone just getting back on my feet, but was still emotionally attached to him, and he seemed as if he'd changed or at least cared, and it seemed we were on the same page, but that was a lie. We'd split for a few months. I was working towards getting back on my feet. Now it's been 3 weeks no contact!
@@inhisservicegodis3287 Everything we do from this moment on, we do for ourselves (and not them)! A quote I read from a survivor, which I find inspiring!
This is Deep Lee. Everything you said is sooo True and I love how you broke it down. Especially when you said they say “I know a place” & they bring you back to Hell🔥 Wheww soo on point! Thanks Lee for all the advice & exposing the Narcissist games that they play.
My ex told me if I ever meet a new man (which I'm seeing now) that it's only going to be short-lived because in his words he said that "I'm pretty so I'll attract men but no man is ever going to stick with me long-term. But nobody's ever going to want to stay . that I'll never keep a man." He really tried to break me down as if I was not worth love.
This is so true it's funny! My narc ex and I dated in our early 20's, then I left to work and live abroad and had a couple of serious long-term relationships. Came back to my home country 17 years later and there he was, the narc ex just waiting to get back in. Did I allow him? Yes! And he took me through hell. Also throughout our relationship, he always kept saying how he's "the only one I ever loved", knowing full well that wasn't true. I'm a very strong individual so he never got to fully break me, that happened after I left him. He still stalks my social media, has people follow me and even some restaurants have been told to look out for me. Anyway, great video!
They'll get pissed and then, like he's discarded her so easiily, so many times before..theyll just shrug it off and go find more supply...or tap in to the supply they were using while with her...until new supply materializes. Might even post a song on youtube, a song about that special girl...lamenting that he is waiting for her to appear...
For all you in this form I want to send love and light and I want you to know that I see you and I see your strength and if nobody acknowledges that I'm telling you I know that it takes zero talent to destroy it takes a very strong person to pick up the pieces of their shattered life and try to make some sense of it it shows that you love and respect yourself and you're not giving up never be ashamed of your experience because whatever anyone did to you that is a reflection of their poor choices it has no bearing on who you are and your value does not diminish because someone else is ignorant of your brilliance you are beautiful you are magnificent keep being loyal to your future and not your past because you're not headed in that direction I love you
Cannot even begin to tell you how insightful you have been on my healing journey. Thank you man. Wish you continued success and healing on your own journey.
This keeps happening between two narcissists. When each one posts happiness to poke another one provoking a response. . A true narcissist doesn't follow their strong ex-partners who are real empaths. . A narcissist only follows his former enablers. . If you are not enabling a narcissist, he does not even remember you. . When he saw you stopping enabling his Ego he discarded you once and for all.
Many many months ago my ex of 17 mos, (she set me FREE 25 days ago, 9 days NC), sent me a Kenny Chesney song ME & YOU. We made it our song & would dance to it once or twice a week. I would sing the song to her. One verse states Everyday, I need you more and more & the nighttime 2, There's no way I could ever let you go, Even I wanted 2. I rewrote the verse & put it on my Home screen Everyday, I don't want you anymore or the nighttime 2, There's no way I will ever take you back, Even if I wanted to!! It helps alot!!
The first narcissist in my life was my mother and some family members. I decided to shut down all of my social medias. It sucks, but its so much better knowing they dont have access to anything im doing.
That same shit.....all of it happened with my ex ex. She came and tried to talk shit on my new gf, she would try and twist my thoughts on my new gf, she actually ambushed us at my residence when my new gf were coming home one night and barreled in and punched my new gf in the head 5x. We went to the. hospital to get her checked out for mild concussion.....all the things my newer gf went through, I feel terrible in hindsight I feel there are some things I could have tried to do to be a better gf to my newer gf by my ex ex narcissist helped destroy my happiness. It eventually ruined my relationship with her. And now I'm on my healing journey without either of them. I'm finding me again. I'm glad to see and hear that you're self aware of your actions and its good that you have this platform to help inform and educate victims of NPD. It's honestly crazy to think that everything you mentioned, she did. And they really suck you into a trauma bond. It's like from the outside looking in, ppl would be like WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE. And it's like they have you wrapped like a voodoo doll or something under their spell. She actually said to me the one time, and I swear it actually helped and snapped me outta the trauma bond a little. But she literally said, I'm your puppet master and you're my puppet. I was like OH HELL NO. She was purely manipulate and it's a crying shame. But she made her own bed. Karma came back to bite her in the ass. She's living outta her car for the last 5 months. And I could care fucking less!
i told my ex narcissist boyfriend the night before our last day seeing each other before we moved out that i didn't care if he had anyone lined up and that a lie is a lie and the truth is the truth and walked away. the next day when we said our final goodbyes i told we shouldn't talk anymore. just a few ways i made damn sure he knew he didn't have damn thing on my precious ass. been a week so far and i feel sparkly cleeeaaannnn
I just wanted to thank you for all your videos. It took me about a year of learning deeply about narcissism. I became so enamored with this personality disorder become I watched EVERYTHING you say happen in my husband and my marriage. After much research I realized he is a covert vulnerable narcissist. You are helping SO MANY people escape abuse. My final documents are being mailed tomorrow. I am sad my marriage is ending because I know it’s a hard path ahead. But I will be FREE! 🦋
Thank you for this, literally just happened to me... Was with him 5 yrs, nothing but hell for me. Finally realized my self worth n kicked him out (actual eviction process bc he wouldn't go on his own) it's been almost a mth n suddenly a wk ago shows up at my door, crying and drunk talking about he needs spiritual help from me, his life is so miserable without me, blah blah. Already knew it was a ploy. Made him leave, 2 days later he's creating drama among my mutual friends bc his initial tactic didn't work. I appreciate your perspective coming from my ex's side of things bc it's funny, he mentioned that he's happy that I seem happy, and wants that for me. I KNEW it was bs... I could hear the low vibes ringing in my ears... Yup I'm happy and he came to disrupt it 🙄
I almost peed my pants when you said I just said true authentic and then rolled your eyes seriously you just are so adorable and it is as weird as this is to say such an innocence that is a great quality of yours that I hope you don't ever lose again thank you for always sharing and attempting your best at explaining to someone who is not toxic exactly what the hell is about to come their way greatly appreciated XOXO
Someone who I knew and things didn’t work out. I didn’t know he had been stalking me for 7 years I’m so shocked. He was saying how much I grew and how happy I am. I was like happy and married.
I hear you. You have to detox from their narcissistlic abuse. I have grown. I now have boundaries. No one is going to manipulate me again. I love listening to Lee and other videos on you tube. I am a thriver and you can be one too. Thanks for sharing.
TY, Part 1: Regardless of the title of the person. Whether they are your ex-foster/adopted relatives, ex-relatives, ex-lovers, ex-friends, ex-job/organization/affiliations/etc. For any reason, if your needs were not getting met before, I don't care if they have changed, your needs will never get met by you returning to them or them returning to you. The connection was outgrown &/or there were irreconcilable differences. Time doesn't change behaviors. Consistent self reflection and consistent work on thyself yields changed behaviors. Let them enjoy their changed behaviors with their current &/or new connections. You are not a turnstile nor revolving door. Let that sh*t go. May you allow people to do their smear campaigns or whatever else they do behind your back that you can't control or throw stones and hide their hands. May you just heal and move on with your life. There isn't time in the day to entertain feign apologies &/or repeat offenders betrayals. May you not do redos for connections, whether they were simply outgrown &/or there were irreconcilable differences. It is healthy and normal to heal and have different needs & desires over time. Which is natural to outgrow some connections. When a connection is over; it's over; Don't look back. You never know who is behind the next door. -Terry McMillan Part 2: If you have to walk on eggshells &/or lose your identity &/or follow someone with blind faith &/or double standards, you are not in a relationship, you are in a trauma bond or modern day slavery. A relationship is not coercive control &/or forced connection &/or forced codependency where either a person is forced to take care of another person or a person is forced to be dependent on another person. You are not meant to be in a connection where someone is using spell work on you &/or paying someone to do spell work on you... sympathy spells, binding spells, love spells, black magic, etc. If you can't be yourself and it cost you your peace and happiness, the price you are paying is too expensive to be in that connection. May you be safe and remove yourself from it or at least have minimal contact when no contact isn't possible. You are not meant to be anyone's doormat/rebound/scapegoat/martyr/black sheep/ property. Just because someone feels entitled to you &/or your resources &/or your happiness, doesn't mean you have to acquiesce. Letting go is a daily process-Melody Part 3: Relationships are about relating and give and take. -Astrokween You are not meant to live your life for another person and self abandon yourself. You are meant to be happy and get your needs met. Be happy whether single or coupled. Please don't settle in 2023. Part 4: May you give yourself the gifts 🎁🎁🎁 of healing your inner child and enjoy your inner child and enjoy self esteem and self love 💞 May you retain your own individual life not what is expected nor projected 💗 May you retain your own individual identity, life purpose, values, boundaries/preferences, beliefs, and somethings that you can do alone as well as with others.💕 May you continue to practice self care daily ☺️ Laugh 😂 out 🤣 loud 😹 daily 😘 Namaste 🕊️Peace 🤸 Shalom 🐵 #WalkForFreedom #A21.org #NotInvisible.org #WoundsWithin.com
This is sooooo true. OMG. Got to the happiest point in my life after our breakup. I thought after 5 years, it was just a coincidence seeing him on my street. Nope.
Amazing My Brother ! The way you tell truth leaves a mark. I'm an Emapth and right now I'm passing through a phase of Manipulation and lies from my girl of 15 years, who has become a deep Narcissist, thanks to an evil seducer and a Narc who converted her totally. God I Love her so much even now.. But thanks to your videos I am healing
The minute you let them in - you look extremely WEAK to them Therefore they think, you deserve to be treated badly !! In a way its a therapy session for us too - WHY WOULD WE ALLOW ANYONE DISRESPECT US ? And yet, we did ( surely this was under a huge amount of toxic manipulation) BE STRONG EVERYONE 💕💕💕💕💕
I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you're willing to share your journey. When I was in a relationship with a Narcissistic person it was a roller coaster of emotions. And it isn't easier when you have to co- parent with one, it was actually impossible. Sad that I blamed myself at the beginning, but I started to observe his actions and "patterns" and realized the issue. To this day I pray for him, but I keep my distance.
My ex was watching me from a different page I didn't know on my birthday. Once I posted my new relationship he cursed me out from different fake numbers.... mind you this man has a whole relationship with the girl he cheated on me with. He told me he sees the type of person I am and I'm not loyal.... he wanted access to me whenever he wanted and was mad I moved on. I blocked every number and page on social media. He's her problem now..
Girl yes! 8 different numbers!!! Straight crazy!!!
Sounds like my life
So proud of you !
Amen those random new google numbers so toxic each one …BLOCKED
He is her problem now 💯 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
“Time is not an apology.” Lee, you said a whole word with that one!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
You could wait many years and will get the same result. Some narcissists do go to therapy, but, for years and years. It isn't an easy fix.
BARS!
You can't worry about the smear campaign. They will do that no matter what. Accept it and enjoy your life. Be pink and positive. Don't allow a narcissist ruin your life. I have strong boundaries now. I learned so much from this experience and my life growing up. I don't care. I am so indifferent to this person. People you have to do your thing. There is life after Narcissist abuse. I would suggest learn about your upbringing and why you allow toxic people to control you. Why stop your life. So they see you are happy without them. I DON'T CARE. I am going to go forward with my life. Click on like if you enjoyed my comment. Keep strong. 5 weeks non contact. DON'T GO BACK. I think there is a difference, because, I discarded the person. I am writing a book to help others, so, they won't go through this again.
Your exactly right!!!!!
I never thought about it but after my bf said some things. It clicked "MOM" he says the same cruel things sje did. I am really trying to heal from childhood trauma of many levels but I'm struggling and doing it alone....please pray for me or send positive thoughts....thank you so much
@@mightymouse1005 ust the fact that you are aware of your childhood will make you a stronger person. Remember I learned as well. Boundaries are so important. You deserve a great life. You can only control yourself. I am proud of you. Baby steps
Diane I'm proud 👏 of you. Keep moving forward ✨️
Good on you ...proud!!!
Extraordinary insight! Thank you 🙌🏽
I outsmarted him, I don’t have social media anymore. He can’t follow me if I don’t give him access to my life.
He will never steal any more time, my care and my happiness from me.
Absolutely
I deleted my social media as well. It’s great knowing he would have an extremely hard time finding out things about me.
Same. 10 years later I have so much peace.
I only have farcebook. And I just post funny meme, meme about getting old etc. Have at it. No personal information and the photo is a side shot of me when I was seven. My location, Alma mater and relationship status are blank.
They can literally sense it. You will be happy and moving on and bam they come out of the blue and start apologizing
🎯🎯🎯
They apologize so th psychic vampire can come back in your life. Don't allow it. You are an important person. Set your boundaries and go on
@@dianepinkyharman1346 thanks 🥺
@@sayamachoudhury6938 You are very welcomed.
Mine apologized then went nuts like it never happened lol
I laughed so hard at the “you’re happy aren’t you??” *sniff *sniff
That’s literally it 🤣🤣
Literally🤣😂🤦🏾♀️
I about snorted 😂
my ex said you think you're gonna leave? you think i will see you happy with someone else? that's not gonna happen...
you are mine.
Don't let them put one little toe into your life. They will do anything to mess up your happiness.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Agreed. They are psychic vampires. Run for your life and never come back. 7 week no contact. Silence is golden.
This is why I tell all my client NO CONTACT! They are emotional vampires. Great video ❤️
Agreed. No contact is the best. Block Block Block. Get rid of flying monkeys. Protect yourself and moe on. If you need the authorities to call do it. Go with your gut feeling.
Wat if u have kids together
@@lindaasulin7200 get them on child support and or get a visitation schedule from the courts. Hold them accountable at all times when it comes to being consistent if not you get sole custody if all else fails.
@@lindaasulin7200as other comment said, depending on where you live, get child maintenance through an automated system, go to court for child agreements and use an app like family wizard for communications - just about kids, keep it like a business email, set up a particular day to read their messages and take time to think before replying, keep it grey / yellow rock. Third party handovers are an idea too.
"I got back with my ex and they said 'I know a place' and they took me to hell" 🤣🤣🤣 bro you're so funny as well as being wise 🙌🏼. I am healing through going no contact and focusing on my goals and my passions but needed a top up of wisdom, reminders and encouragement - this was definitely it so thanks 🙏🏼
😅😅
That shit took me out too!
So proud of you. The only way to survive is forward. You deserve love and respect.
I am proud of you. It is worse if you go back to the person. No contact and go on with your life is the only answer for me.
This is me too! And yes lee is funny 🤣
Lol, they can literally sense your happiness from 1000 miles away 😂
😂😂
@@MentalHealness I think a million miles away. Block Block Block... No contact. I feel myself again. They can do the smear campaign, hack, tell people you are the problem. Who cares. Don't let them take up a second of your real estate in your mind.
So true!!!
True
FACTS💯💯 he tried to come back 2 years later because he saw that I was in a new relationship....I sent him on his way...he had me and loss me...his loss. He stalked my home and left notes on my car...while in a relationship with someone else. The Nerves.
I'm not giving up my good man for a Narc. Don't go back people. Nothing will change.
Prou o your no contact. They don't care about us. WE are to be their abusive punching bags. I will never go back.
💯💯
So happy for you. You sound like a thriver like myself. Boundaries are of the utmost importance. It looks like you are a thriver. Good for you to be happy with someone else.
@@dianepinkyharman1346 Thank you I appreciate that.
Yes I'm a thriver....it wasn't easy but one has to love themselves and have standards and boundaries
Leaving notes knowing ur in a relationship is so disrespectful, smh that's crazy he still hasn't learned his lesson at all trying to intrude on your happiness. I'm happy you kept it moving! Get you a restraining order against him, he's not going to stop
They feel so unhappy & insecure with themselves deep down that they project all of that on to others. Then when their victims say “Hey, I can’t do this anymore” and they move on, that’s when they come back in & try to hoover. “If I’m unhappy then nobody is allowed to be happy without me”.
😫😫🥺
So true. Ignore the hoovers. They don't care about you. They are just looking for their supply and people to abuse. I am also an empath, but, now I have boundaries. No one messes with me. Thank you for sharing. They are miserable pe3ople and want others to be as well. I am not miserable. I am going on with my life. I am pink and positive.
It's obvious the narcissist hate us for loving them... That's enough for me to shut em out completely...
Time is NOT an apology 🙌
🎯🎯
@@MentalHealness susanna anna witherington Mental Healness like 🙏
Narcissist don’t change!!!! It can be a boy friend, husband, wife , girlfriend , family member or just a friend. Just let them go forever if you want to stay happy.❤❤
For you to be going to therapy and addressing these characteristics is worth a freaking standing ovation. Honestly, it's like the least narcissistic thing you can do, and its incredibly awesome that you're owning everything, bettering yourself and helping others. Bravo Lee, I really enjoy watching your content as I am a surviver of narcissistic family members. Thank you for your realness
Thank you!!
@@MentalHealness Just found your page, thank you for your sharing this helpful information.
Praise God 🙏, 💘💯😇 agree 👍! (Jer. 29:11; Psalm 23 and 91; 1 Peter 5:7).
@@2GracefullyAnointed-Savvy1 The feel good stuff is irrelevant when your Bible has scriptures like Exodus 21 where it instructs you on how to beat your sl@ve.
I am so happy to hear you are a survivor of narcissistic family member. You deserve a medal. Glad to hear.
Not only is my ex a narcissist, but my own mother is as well. I’m divorced and trying to find my happiness and both of them are trying to disrupt that at every opportunity 😭
I’m in the exact situation. I escaped via “operation secret squirrel” (fleeing in the night). Relocated to be closer to family. Trying to recover while divorcing and here comes another narc (mom). Started doing some of the same things. Thank goodness I knew the signs. I was starting to think I was going crazy! Stay Strong!!!
Thanks AJ for the advice. How do you cut your mother out of your life? I know that’s a stupid question, but the backlash from doing this will be surreal!
This is exactly what I'm dealing with.
@@antoinettelaney1237 Same here, trust you're not alone
@@BambiOnIce19 Its so true its starts with your parents
Confirmation. The discard is also a result of them wanting you to be unhappy in my opinion. I've felt I was being punished with my emotions. You're speaking facts.
The discard phase is awful. Remember your name is smeared during the relationship not just after. In my opinion you can't react. In Dan's case he reacted to everything and it made Betty worser.
They will tell you go find someone that makes you happy it's not me. They don't mean a word of it, they want you with them and so they can make you even more miserable than they are!
They want you to make them your priority while you're at the bottom of their list of priorities if you even make the list at all.
🎯🎯
And it's YOUR fault. Your the problem...no matter how cruel they are...
100%
Heard a saying.....never make someone a priority in your life when you are only an option for them.
You are right. You will never be a priority. The only person they care about is themselves. They drain your energy like a psychic vampire. Your health goes down, while, they are so happy. Discard Discard Discard.... never look back.
Man did I learn this the hard way after letting an ex back in my life after 1.5 years apart and I was happy and he derailed my entire life goals that year and set me back sooo much!
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Christina we all learn. Don't put yourself down for going back. Give yourself a kiss and go forward. You don't deserve to be abused. No one does. I discarded the person 7 weeks now. No contact. I am protecting myself. I am an actor and rapper. I can't control the smear campaign. We can only control ourselves. Be the best you possible. I know I am.
Been there babes but you got this keep pushing and never look back.
It is worse if you go back. Keep on going forward. It is difficult, but, you deserve love and respect.
True ...I used to say to my ex why cant we just be happy in peace ..he would always say life is not a fantasy ....now I live a fantasy and I will never change it for nothing .
This is exactly why I keep myself off of Facebook and Instagram...my PRIVACY is precious to me especially inorder to keep myself happy. I love this channel the advise and 1st hand personal experience he shares with us is something I've never gotten from an actual therapist.
Same here ! I shut everything down! This person has done the most and even had a second baby mom … still on the third year attempting to ruin my job 🙄
Yep. I have deliberately kept my own life off of those platforms. My life is my private business. I don't have to share it with the world.
Exactly. When you said time is no apology.
My ex narc got back in touch by randomly liking my fb pics after years of no contact.
All just an effort to test what your reaction is going to be. If you are nice to them again they will see that as a weakness to then start telling you a completely different version of what happened in the past painting themselves out to be the victim. Hoping because you are being nice/civil back that you will give them an apology and accept the blame for their actions. Even though you both know that you definitely dont owe them any apology.
Then when you present/remind them about the real version of what actually happened with evidence, they will then come out with...
O.m.g it's in the past. Get over it!
With no remorse and zero apology for all the trouble and chaos the caused.
Block them on all social media. They are the cunning 😈 Devils who target the innocent naives to get what they want...Never ever unblock them..Be strong 😅 Spend time with positive friends 👍👍
They have Spidey senses when it comes to your emotions. They don't care about them but...will sense your happiness and obsess on destroying it
🫣🫣🫣
I set strict boundaries, I even got a separate number so he can text and call that number to get in contact with his daughter.
All of a sudden he’s messaging me about wanting marriage, then with the same breath tells me I pushed him to another woman that lives in another country! He choose her over me! He kept telling me I’m the worst woman and his biggest mistake .
And that hurt but it opened my eyes ! NEVER ON GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD I GET BACK WITH THAT GUY! I’m single I don’t even want a relationship right now, not because I’m hurt but because I realised that I need to work on me love me …. All of me
When I was in my 20’s this is exactly what happened. They left me after cheating and wanting to continue to chase after one of these women, and as soon as I was with someone he tried to come back in the most dramatic way saying he was finally ready to get married. Of course I got back with him and he was never able to move forward with commitment.
I didn’t know about narcissism back then. I feel like this is the Age of Enlightenment when it comes to this personality disorder for me. I am seeing now a string of them starting in my childhood.
Knowledge = power. I am finally breaking the chain.
Thanks Lee for another great video!!Healing through your channel.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
So proud of you. You are now in control of your life. No one needs to be manipulated and abuse3d. This person did elder abuse on me. I discarded her and am protecting myself. Boundaries are numero uno.
'Applied' knowledge=power!
My ex told me “ballin his eyes out” 🧐 telling me that his whole reason for cheating on me was so I can hurt as much as he did, and he saw no effect so he had to keep his relationship going! Saying that he’s not as strong as me. They truly want to see you hurt, and if you’re smiling or happy they start to wonder whose bringing that happiness into your life. He thinks I’m with someone and always tries to get information out of me. I have to coparent with him so I’ve learned to create boundaries and make any conversation only about the kids. Cut them off don’t give them any info about you than is needed.
You must be through with them for good. No contact.... Do not go back. No one needs that abuse. I discarded the person and feel great.
stay safe and empowered. you dont need them
Whew this is hugely the dude I’m with now
Sounds like mine. My kids better off without him
“Stop entertaining toxicity from your past.”🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥”Galavanting and skipping along.😅😂
😂😂😂😂😂
My ex stole my phone (during a custody exchange) and found some adult text from someone I was dating and sent them to all my friends and family. When I confronted him about it, he said "Whoever did this wants to alienate you so you will have no choice but to depend on them.". Then he admitted to doing it a few days later. So he made his motives very clear.
oh my goodness
Damn!!
Charter Assassination
what if they’ve moved on themselves ?
@@marcokiebra1154 I wish.
We used to call them jerks, now we know its a legit personality disorder
😵😵
Yes it is. It is called NPD. Narcissistic personality disorder.
It’s no excuse for cruel behaviour tho. If it’s destroying your life, do what you can to get out or get help
I don't think it's a "personality disorder" like they are defective, or where made into who they are. I think it's a disorder of the heart...... they are mean, uncaring, vengeful, spiteful for no good reason. They do what they do because they can, that's all....demons.
You are truly the only narcisstic person, that i don’t wish to punch in the face. So yes you are my favorite 😂
In fact your content is probably the main reason why I’m still standing, because i saw a lot of signs and realised i was not going insane, using your advices and techniques, has saved me from so many conflicts.
😅😅😅😅 stay strong
Facts 😂
Thank you for raising awareness and helping others. My daughter and I suffer from narcissistic abuse from my ex husband and I just finalized the divorce. That’s one dark path I will never take again. He asked my daughter to lunch after the hearing and she declined and told him he mentally abused her for many years and the relationship ended there. I was so proud of her but felt guilty also because I stayed in the relationship far longer than I ever should’ve. Hoping all who suffer are able to heal and I hope you find your happiness.
I feel so bad because my daughter who is an adult told me after I divorced my husband, her father. All of the things that he said to her and how he treated her that I didn't know about. And she isn't angry at me, but she said that she couldn't understand why I stayed with him so many years.
Thank you for sharing. My ex turned my daughter against me. The divorce took 4 years. It was hell. I tried to get full custody. It is so sad that the children of a narcissistic parent will be damaged. We need to have education at an early age to show children they are not to be blamed and scapegoated. We need to have psychologists every school. Education is key.
I appreciate that you qualified your comment with if you are happy being single as well as in a relationship don’t take them back - single is sooo satisfying and peaceful
I do too…I’m so happy by myself. And suddenly they are bringing my stuff they were refusing to bring back. Car keys, deeds for land, title deed 🤷🏼♀️
I shut down my social media, he got remarried recently and is now tagging all my friends pics of this wedding. He thinks it’s hurting…Not!🤣🤣
😆
Good for you Kika. Feel sorry for his new supply. You have moved on. Remember set boundaries with new people and don't let them control you
They are the worst ever like never experienced this time of mental emotional torture in my life Thr smearing on Fb and flooding their profess love of their new so called supply they are pathetic 😭 your screw with them and then after you leave them they go and do heavy damage as well however it’s best we push thru the hurt leaving they tails vs settling with them
If you've really discarded the narc...he won't see you at all.
🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️🏃🏽♀️
🎯
Unless you happen to cross each other's path.
@@gloriakuhn8670 ...well in my case, I'm over 2000 miles away...but in your case, if you happen to run into them, it's probably not a coincidence. I used to think that it was them wanting to see me so bad cause they loved me so deeply and missed me...but in truth, it's just another diabolical narc move, why do that when you were only a mere phone call away?...they do it for avoidance...if they call, you might think that you are special (you feeling special is the last thing that they want)...if they run in to you by happenstance..they are getting what they want scott free...when you see them, run ...run as if it's for your very life!!!
If only that were true…. You can block everywhere, you can change numbers, you can change email, you can even move… if they are bent on it, they’ll find you and continue to stalk you…
Unless you disappear yourself…
The ego is bigger than anything else. Orders of protection are simply pieces of paper… and they know it.
This is golden. It should be a verse in the narcissist bible code.
"They brought me back down to the depths of me being unhappy. I got back with my EX and they say I know a place and took me to hell". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
@Junia Osme
Bible Code is right with footnotes from #MentalHealness
Damnnn 😂😂😂😂🤦🏽♀️
Thanks for the warning
"Happiness" in you equals "your winning" to a narc, they will come to snatch that "happiness" with the quickness too!
😫
I am happy and I don't care what this person thinks. I now have boundaries and will not be manipulated. I stand up for myself. There is life after narcissistic abuse.
I honestly feel he DIDN'T want to see me happy with him. Its like his face started frowning EVERYTIME things were going well. Its sickening.
From now on, I’m just gonna start saving anybody I dated in my phone as “toxic ex” so I know not to answer 😂
😅😅
I have to admit that hearing you speak triggers me, you remind me of my ex. But, I really appreciate you being here and talking about this stuff. You have given me some great info, thank you.
I understand
I think that’s why his videos help me so much. I’m still in the situation and I just wanna get out. But I keep getting roped back in. When I hear his voice -when I see his videos, I realize that it takes a very strong person to want to change- my soon to be ‘wusbund’ is very weak. It also reminds me that I need to go because this is not what I want for the rest of my life.
I've experienced this on so many levels specifically from family, friends, and exes. If you block them they create fake accounts or contact you through other family members/friends. As soon as they sense happiness you can expect some form of communication... Positive or negative they are thirsty for information and attention and will try to destroy all aspects of your life. You must establish boundaries and protect your peace.
🙏🏽
Ooooh. I definitely need to watch this one. This is what I'm scared of because he made comments about showing up a year after I've moved out and doing the whole John Cusack boombox scene outside of my window.
I don't want him coming crawling back, or creating drama again, especially when he realizes I'm so much happier now. He was a horrible toxic person who broke me down physically, mentally, and emotionally over almost 12 years. If you love someone you don't destroy who they are, and turn them into a shell of who they used to be when you met.
We have lots of friends in common on our social media but I'm too scared to post anything that would show that I'm happy now. I just want him to stay out of my life.
stay safe
It makes it hard with mutual friends doesn't it! I blocked my nex but his family on my page and friends - I know they're all loyal to him but his parents were like "we're still there for you" like I can't block them too... So I just rarely post anything anymore...
Embrace your happiness hun....even if it's just with yourself. Happiness radiates and people will see. Just DON'T take him back
I did this too. No posting on social media for 5 years now. He will use any info against me as he possibly can. I think its Worth not posting for peace and a calm life. I know he ca ușe anything against me because he done IT before, in and after the divorce. I think ur mental health its more important now
@@octavianbunica22 Me & My Ex Narc was Married for 12years with Children. I did all my possible best to be faithful to him and I always made my mind that I want to be the best house wife as that what I dream since college days. Nothing work out when you’re with a narcissist, My narc Ex still went ahead by threatening to file a divorce and take custody of our children because I caught him severally cheating with different lady and even my friend I also knew a lot of illegal stuffs he does and how addicted he’s to alcohol. I had no choice , My Nanny told me about this Private Investigator which is also American Spy Guy he’s expert in tapping phone and web without leaving a trace,He got into my Husband phone and drives. I found Dirty proofs, real dirty things. All deleted Messages, chats, Videos, Call history from 12years back where unveiled to me. This proofs where helpful cos he worked my papers for me and now I can stay with my child and have a good job. Don’t let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more, follow him on Instagram. @brano_tools
Www.instagram.com/brano_tools/
Even though I blocked him on my social media pages, he worms through and since we broke up, I moved across state and with my sister and her family. I’m going to concerts. I’m going horseback riding on the beach. I am checking things off on my bucket list I post pictures of going out and having dinner. He actually called my girlfriend and said, I see your friend is enjoying her life now. I hope she’s happy it’s killing him even though it’s killing me being away from him I’m doing me I gained 10 pounds because I got so horribly thin. My self-esteem went through the roof and I know it’s killing him to see this.
2008 started dating.
2015 got tired and left.
2016 gave a chance, the "old person I was trying to get back" came back. (When I was happier)
2017 She got pregnant and Plan B "didn't work."
Was hell since then and it got worse, emotionally disconnected then and emotional cheating 2019-2021. Discarded and been single fighting to get my daughter safe from more abuse (multiple types) and manipulation. No More.
I hope you get on the other side of all the toxicity.
Love & light. ✨
stay strong
This person is offering real healing advice. I cannot express how much I hope more people find them. Understanding a real narcissistic is healing. And freeing.
This! The info makes me feel validated and really equips me to move forward.
Agree with the 6th sense. My ex called the day after I announced a new girlfriend on social media...thats not a coincidence. I could sense her toxicity through the cellphone as she called from her friends cellphone. Just had one word for her after she presented herself: "goodbye" and next I hung up. Since then I havent heard from her....silence is nice 🙂
All I can do is shake my head... The first half is too long to even speak on but I cut all contact and went on with my life. The business I started while with him started flourishing, my finances were in good condition, and I was just happy and at peace... Here he comes wanting to "make things right" and I fell for it...6 months later, I'm pregnant and have never been more miserable in my life! I could tell he thought I was stuck now bc of the baby coming but I went back into 'no-contact' a few days ago. I was mind-blown that a person would come back JUST to treat me worse than they did before!
stay safe
I'm so sorry.
lI heard when you go back to the Narc they treat you worse. This is because they feel you are ok with the abuse. Stay strong. For me, I discarded the person. I think she is silent because she knows, don't mess with me. the person sees me driving No supply to get from me. Move on to your next supply
Lee…after 23 yrs of abuse from him. At the end he took it out on our only son who is disabled. My son begged me to file for Divorce. He tried to destroy us & still is. Going on a two yr fucking divorce. He’s contesting. NO CONTACT FOREVER! Thank u for your truth. It has helped me more with than u will ever know. 💕
You are right, Lee. My ex narc was always the most hateful to me when I was having a good day.
🙏🏽🙏🏽
Any special occasion or important date is a playground for them to ruin your day.
Just as I was finishing up this video, my abusive ex started sending me a bunch of photos of us and our pets and vacations. Dang, I got here just in time.
He was bored.... and you are a toaster
My ex called me last night for the first time in weeks since I broke up with him permanently this time. He’s been so hurt about it. I’ve been the happiest and most productive I’ve ever been in my life and it makes him miserable. He keeps hinting at how sad he is in a way that I used to react to with trying to pry him open and get him to communicate better. But everytime he does it now, I don’t respond or I give a very generic response then say I have to go.
We were together on and off for 3 yrs. I told him ”look… I don’t think this is ever going to work. We’ve tried too many times and still have the same issues. I’m not gonna keep wasting my life with you. I’m done.” He tried to manipulate me into staying, so I manipulated him back and pretended to be interested again, then ended it permanently after getting his hopes up. Now I feel like the narcissist lol. But I have no interest in ruining his life the way he ruined mine. I just want him to take care of himself and leave me alone.
The way I rebuke that man every single time.
😅😅
My ex plays this game so much that if sabotaging moving on/happiness was an Olympic sport, he'd be dripping in gold..
Congratulated me for going back to college, turns around and decides to drag out our divorce as long as he could to keep me financially linked to him (he makes high 6 figures, I was a sahm with our kids and no income) so I struggled to get financial aid. No alimony until its finalized and no monetary settlement either). 2 weeks after I graduated, signed the papers. Selling my plasma twice a week was preferred over being controlled by him.
Happiness is the cure for healing, the Narcs hate to see you smile when you are gone, you can be broke with no money; they still don't want to see you happy with anyone or anything. Even though I do not see him, people has told him , I am happier without him, and he hates it.
You’re the only person I like with Narcissistic Personality Disorder because you’re being Honest in these videos. Thank you for making these videos and saving lives!!!!
you’re welcome
I was with a narcissist for 11 years. We broke up when I first got pregnant because I refused to allow him to continue to mistreat me during my pregnancy or me not be able to be a good parent to my child because of the constant emotional abuse. We have been broken up now for 4 1/2 years. He has been coming around to see our son more lately. I have not dated, and have been abstinent since we broke up. I’m trying to stay strong around him. He has made both sexual and relationship advances towards me over the past year or two and buys me gifts on holidays. A couple of time during conversations with alcohol involved I have revealed too much information to him about my sexual status. When he comes around he is clearly trying to be on his best behavior to reel me back in. We also are both physically attracted to each other still. However, I know the consequences and that will be a huge catastrophic mistake in my life. What can I do when I do start dating to ensure that he will not ruin my new relationship.
i gave her 20 years break and she was still ready to take me down 20 years later. so i said bye again this week. so happy to get her out of my life. crossed my boundaries within 5 minutes, and i knew better than to go ahead with her in my life. she made this process easy and pain free.
I am so liking your videos. I discarded a narcissist December 2022 and last weekend I went out with a girlfriend and met a new guy and had fun. I put a photo up on social media of me smiling and having fun and my ex suddenly deleted his facebook page, didn't just block me but it did prove that he has been stalking my page since i broke up with him. It is funny because what you said in the chat was so on target with behaviours.
I allowed the bottom of the barrel, I was epically tried!!! Never experienced anything like this... never again!!!
🎯
Me too. Never again.
I’m in a toxic relationship right now, and This has crossed my mind many times! I I leave this situation and meet someone else, and be happy, that my ex will come back and say all the things I wanted to hear…
THANK YOU FOR THE HEADS UP!
you’re welcome
Mine told me he has changed and is in the church now….I responded with keep on doing what you do I don’t need you beating me and the kids in the name of Jesus again & hung up the phone. They will lie to get you back. Don’t listen to the lies
Stay strong. I discarded mine because I saw the light. I am not being abused anymore. Narcissists will never be happy with the new supply. Love bombing, then devaluing... discard. You know what is going to happen. You deserve to be happy. Do things that you enjoy. I am thrilled I discarded this person.
Time is not an apology.
Exactly.
Just because time has passed doesn't mean these people did you right. Doesn't mean things are any less wrong with them.
Time will pass anyway.
I love this!
"ah memories" 😂💀 your sense of humor is golden lmao
I feel like after I rejected his sorry ass lil offers to come back around, he finally realized I'm actually happy and happier without him👏😌. I used to have a desire to always let him come back around when I would cut him off. Now I'm numb to it, so it's so easy to keep him tf away 😆 I done had too much time to heal and too much time enjoying my peace after his toxicity ☮
Holy crap! Now I get it! This is exactly what happened 😳...so, healing and happiness is the way forward ❤️ and I welcome that! I wasn't with anyone just getting back on my feet, but was still emotionally attached to him, and he seemed as if he'd changed or at least cared, and it seemed we were on the same page, but that was a lie. We'd split for a few months. I was working towards getting back on my feet. Now it's been 3 weeks no contact!
🙏🏽🙏🏽 stay safe
Proud of you. For me 6 weeks no contact. Keep it up. You don't deserve the abuse. Have boundaries...
@@dianepinkyharman1346 Amen hun! 🙌🏽 Likewise! ❤️
Wear your crown, it is your power against a Narc. Keep your strength, chase your JOY! GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU IN HIS CARE. 🙏 😇 💃
@@inhisservicegodis3287 Everything we do from this moment on, we do for ourselves (and not them)! A quote I read from a survivor, which I find inspiring!
This is Deep Lee. Everything you said is sooo True and I love how you broke it down. Especially when you said they say “I know a place” & they bring you back to Hell🔥 Wheww soo on point! Thanks Lee for all the advice & exposing the Narcissist games that they play.
You are so welcome
I know ,🤟 that comment brought me way back 😭 .... Never again--and now I can laugh about how Lee sounded when he said that:)😂
What you do well is show how triggered you the narcissist is by the very idea that someone could be happy without them. Thank you for showing us that.
When I’d answer the phone happy that he called. He would ask “why are you happy!?”
🫣🫣
My ex told me if I ever meet a new man (which I'm seeing now) that it's only going to be short-lived because in his words he said that "I'm pretty so I'll attract men but no man is ever going to stick with me long-term. But nobody's ever going to want to stay . that I'll never keep a man." He really tried to break me down as if I was not worth love.
Same here. He said it in a way that I won't repeat because of the disrespect 😞
Same
..he told me the same.
Samw here 😂
I don't let him in but he seeks it out....
Honestly you are a gift sir!!!
No one deserves to be treated badly
This is so true it's funny! My narc ex and I dated in our early 20's, then I left to work and live abroad and had a couple of serious long-term relationships. Came back to my home country 17 years later and there he was, the narc ex just waiting to get back in. Did I allow him? Yes! And he took me through hell. Also throughout our relationship, he always kept saying how he's "the only one I ever loved", knowing full well that wasn't true. I'm a very strong individual so he never got to fully break me, that happened after I left him. He still stalks my social media, has people follow me and even some restaurants have been told to look out for me. Anyway, great video!
The goal is to get away and STAY TF AWAY!!! They will never change, Never! You have to keep the power and never give them losers the satisfactions.
Narcs do NOT want to see you happy, period! - Never! ... ever!
I agree. It’s best to break up, block them and move on. Some people will never change. Great video
They'll get pissed and then, like he's discarded her so easiily, so many times before..theyll just shrug it off and go find more supply...or tap in to the supply they were using while with her...until new supply materializes. Might even post a song on youtube, a song about that special girl...lamenting that he is waiting for her to appear...
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For all you in this form I want to send love and light and I want you to know that I see you and I see your strength and if nobody acknowledges that I'm telling you I know that it takes zero talent to destroy it takes a very strong person to pick up the pieces of their shattered life and try to make some sense of it it shows that you love and respect yourself and you're not giving up never be ashamed of your experience because whatever anyone did to you that is a reflection of their poor choices it has no bearing on who you are and your value does not diminish because someone else is ignorant of your brilliance you are beautiful you are magnificent keep being loyal to your future and not your past because you're not headed in that direction I love you
'You control access to your life" MIC DROP 🙌
🙌🏾
Cannot even begin to tell you how insightful you have been on my healing journey. Thank you man. Wish you continued success and healing on your own journey.
Thank you. Stay empowered
I am healing and empowered every day. You can do it.
This keeps happening between two narcissists. When each one posts happiness to poke another one provoking a response.
.
A true narcissist doesn't follow their strong ex-partners who are real empaths.
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A narcissist only follows his former enablers.
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If you are not enabling a narcissist, he does not even remember you.
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When he saw you stopping enabling his Ego he discarded you once and for all.
😫😫
Family members will do this too. They sense happiness with your husband, wife, kids, etc. and will come after you and try to dismantle it all.
🎯🎯
Yep thats why i cut all contact with my hateful siblings
They think because time passed, you must have forgot 😂😂😂 They say, oh, you remember that?😂
Many many months ago my ex of 17 mos, (she set me FREE 25 days ago, 9 days NC), sent me a Kenny Chesney song ME & YOU. We made it our song & would dance to it once or twice a week. I would sing the song to her. One verse states
Everyday, I need you more and more & the nighttime 2, There's no way I could ever let you go,
Even I wanted 2.
I rewrote the verse & put it on my Home screen
Everyday, I don't want you anymore or the nighttime 2, There's no way I will ever take you back,
Even if I wanted to!!
It helps alot!!
The first narcissist in my life was my mother and some family members. I decided to shut down all of my social medias. It sucks, but its so much better knowing they dont have access to anything im doing.
That same shit.....all of it happened with my ex ex. She came and tried to talk shit on my new gf, she would try and twist my thoughts on my new gf, she actually ambushed us at my residence when my new gf were coming home one night and barreled in and punched my new gf in the head 5x. We went to the. hospital to get her checked out for mild concussion.....all the things my newer gf went through, I feel terrible in hindsight I feel there are some things I could have tried to do to be a better gf to my newer gf by my ex ex narcissist helped destroy my happiness. It eventually ruined my relationship with her. And now I'm on my healing journey without either of them. I'm finding me again.
I'm glad to see and hear that you're self aware of your actions and its good that you have this platform to help inform and educate victims of NPD. It's honestly crazy to think that everything you mentioned, she did. And they really suck you into a trauma bond. It's like from the outside looking in, ppl would be like WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE. And it's like they have you wrapped like a voodoo doll or something under their spell.
She actually said to me the one time, and I swear it actually helped and snapped me outta the trauma bond a little. But she literally said, I'm your puppet master and you're my puppet.
I was like OH HELL NO.
She was purely manipulate and it's a crying shame. But she made her own bed. Karma came back to bite her in the ass. She's living outta her car for the last 5 months. And I could care fucking less!
i told my ex narcissist boyfriend the night before our last day seeing each other before we moved out that i didn't care if he had anyone lined up and that a lie is a lie and the truth is the truth and walked away. the next day when we said our final goodbyes i told we shouldn't talk anymore. just a few ways i made damn sure he knew he didn't have damn thing on my precious ass. been a week so far and i feel sparkly cleeeaaannnn
....and YOUR life will get better and better day by day.
And DON'T fall for the hoover please
🙏🏽🙏🏽
I just wanted to thank you for all your videos. It took me about a year of learning deeply about narcissism. I became so enamored with this personality disorder become I watched EVERYTHING you say happen in my husband and my marriage. After much research I realized he is a covert vulnerable narcissist.
You are helping SO MANY people escape abuse. My final documents are being mailed tomorrow. I am sad my marriage is ending because I know it’s a hard path ahead. But I will be FREE! 🦋
Yes everyone ! We must NOT bite the bait ! 💪🏽💯
So true. 7 weeks no contact. I will never go back. They are psychic vampires draining your energy every day.
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Thats so freaking true too! They DO have a sixth sense and DO show thier ugly face as soon as happiness is refound withen!
💯💯💯
Thank you for this, literally just happened to me... Was with him 5 yrs, nothing but hell for me. Finally realized my self worth n kicked him out (actual eviction process bc he wouldn't go on his own) it's been almost a mth n suddenly a wk ago shows up at my door, crying and drunk talking about he needs spiritual help from me, his life is so miserable without me, blah blah. Already knew it was a ploy. Made him leave, 2 days later he's creating drama among my mutual friends bc his initial tactic didn't work. I appreciate your perspective coming from my ex's side of things bc it's funny, he mentioned that he's happy that I seem happy, and wants that for me. I KNEW it was bs... I could hear the low vibes ringing in my ears... Yup I'm happy and he came to disrupt it 🙄
I almost peed my pants when you said I just said true authentic and then rolled your eyes seriously you just are so adorable and it is as weird as this is to say such an innocence that is a great quality of yours that I hope you don't ever lose again thank you for always sharing and attempting your best at explaining to someone who is not toxic exactly what the hell is about to come their way greatly appreciated XOXO
“Memories” 😂😂😂 I can’t 😩 That glare was a bit unsettling Lee my ex did that exact same stare 😳😳😳
😂😂
I love listening to your stories and they're helping me figure how to leave. Thank you! Robyn
Someone who I knew and things didn’t work out. I didn’t know he had been stalking me for 7 years I’m so shocked. He was saying how much I grew and how happy I am. I was like happy and married.
🙏🏽
A relationship with a narcissist can be addicting like Heroin. That would explain why people leave their good relationships to be back with them.
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Look up trauma bond.
I hear you. You have to detox from their narcissistlic abuse. I have grown. I now have boundaries. No one is going to manipulate me again. I love listening to Lee and other videos on you tube. I am a thriver and you can be one too. Thanks for sharing.
TY,
Part 1:
Regardless of the title of the person. Whether they are your ex-foster/adopted relatives, ex-relatives, ex-lovers, ex-friends, ex-job/organization/affiliations/etc.
For any reason, if your needs were not getting met before, I don't care if they have changed, your needs will never get met by you returning to them or them returning to you. The connection was outgrown &/or there were irreconcilable differences.
Time doesn't change behaviors. Consistent self reflection and consistent work on thyself yields changed behaviors.
Let them enjoy their changed behaviors with their current &/or new connections.
You are not a turnstile nor revolving door.
Let that sh*t go. May you allow people to do their smear campaigns or whatever else they do behind your back that you can't control or throw stones and hide their hands. May you just heal and move on with your life.
There isn't time in the day to entertain feign apologies &/or repeat offenders betrayals. May you not do redos for connections, whether they were simply outgrown &/or there were irreconcilable differences.
It is healthy and normal to heal and have different needs & desires over time. Which is natural to outgrow some connections.
When a connection is over; it's over; Don't look back. You never know who is behind the next door. -Terry McMillan
Part 2:
If you have to walk on eggshells &/or lose your identity &/or follow someone with blind faith &/or double standards, you are not in a relationship, you are in a trauma bond or modern day slavery.
A relationship is not coercive control &/or forced connection &/or forced codependency where either a person is forced to take care of another person or a person is forced to be dependent on another person.
You are not meant to be in a connection where someone is using spell work on you &/or paying someone to do spell work on you... sympathy spells, binding spells, love spells, black magic, etc.
If you can't be yourself and it cost you your peace and happiness, the price you are paying is too expensive to be in that connection. May you be safe and remove yourself from it or at least have minimal contact when no contact isn't possible.
You are not meant to be anyone's doormat/rebound/scapegoat/martyr/black sheep/ property.
Just because someone feels entitled to you &/or your resources &/or your happiness, doesn't mean you have to acquiesce.
Letting go is a daily process-Melody
Part 3:
Relationships are about relating and give and take. -Astrokween
You are not meant to live your life for another person and self abandon yourself.
You are meant to be happy and get your needs met.
Be happy whether single or coupled.
Please don't settle in 2023.
Part 4:
May you give yourself the gifts 🎁🎁🎁 of healing your inner child and enjoy your inner child and enjoy self esteem and self love 💞
May you retain your own individual life not what is expected nor projected 💗
May you retain your own individual identity, life purpose, values, boundaries/preferences, beliefs, and somethings that you can do alone as well as with others.💕
May you continue to practice self care daily ☺️
Laugh 😂 out 🤣 loud 😹 daily 😘
Namaste
🕊️Peace 🤸 Shalom 🐵
#WalkForFreedom
#A21.org
#NotInvisible.org
#WoundsWithin.com
This is sooooo true. OMG. Got to the happiest point in my life after our breakup.
I thought after 5 years, it was just a coincidence seeing him on my street.
Nope.
😵😵😵
Amazing My Brother ! The way you tell truth leaves a mark.
I'm an Emapth and right now I'm passing through a phase of Manipulation and lies from my girl of 15 years, who has become a deep Narcissist, thanks to an evil seducer and a Narc who converted her totally.
God I Love her so much even now..
But thanks to your videos I am healing
The minute you let them in - you look extremely WEAK to them
Therefore they think, you deserve to be treated badly !!
In a way its a therapy session for us too - WHY WOULD WE ALLOW ANYONE DISRESPECT US ?
And yet, we did ( surely this was under a huge amount of toxic manipulation)
BE STRONG EVERYONE 💕💕💕💕💕
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Best comment so far! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💥💥💥
They don’t wanna see you happy with them ever! Run for the hills
🥺
Run as fast as you can. I did. I discarded the person and feel my energy back.
I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you're willing to share your journey. When I was in a relationship with a Narcissistic person it was a roller coaster of emotions. And it isn't easier when you have to co- parent with one, it was actually impossible. Sad that I blamed myself at the beginning, but I started to observe his actions and "patterns" and realized the issue. To this day I pray for him, but I keep my distance.