What Happens When Adopted Children Are Returned? | Vantage with Palki Sharma
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- What Happens When Adopted Children Are Returned? | Vantage with Palki Sharma
What happens when adopted children are returned? This week, Bombay High Court annulled the adoption of a 3-year-old boy. The adoptive parents complained of "bad behaviour" and lack of bonding with the child. This is not a lone case. Over 1,100 adopted children were returned between 2014 and 2019 in India. Why do people return adopted children? What happens to them? Palki Sharma tells you.
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Adoption | Children | Bombay High Court | Foster Parents | Firstpost | World News | Vantage | Palki Sharma
#adoption #children #bolbayhighcourt #fosterparents #firstpost #vantageonfirstpost #palkisharma #worldnews
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![दुनियाभर में बच्चे क्यों नहीं पैदा कर रहे लोग? [Could Global Economy Sustain Without The Kids?]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zCHrxG9bRAQ/mqdefault.jpg)
My extended family member adopted an 11 months old, the people working in that orphanage asked my relatives to be extra mindful as the baby boy had temper issue.. imagine an 11 months old with filled anger. Soon we figured, indeed that kid was an angry baby blowing a punch or two on everyone. And more importantly, those punches really hurt. Later, my aunt told me the kid was abandoned by his biological parents right after his birth then he was adopted as a 5 month to be returned in 3 months. But this story has a happy ending, this kid is now 12 years old. He's a very loving kid with most beautiful eyes and he's spoiled silly by his parents and he reciprocates their love in fourfold.
He came to his real parents,his home
One of most beautiful thing I read in long time!
@@dipalzambare9257 yes correct👍
Such a beautiful story 😍
I think in India adoption is not seen equal as biological child, that's why they find fault in 11 month old toddler.if this thing appears in their biological child ,they would never give up on that toddler.
Being a parent require lot of patience. I have a son who is just 2.5, very stubborn and I know how difficult it to raise a child. Those who think that it's a walk in the park, shouldn't choose to adopt.
They should be punished for abandoning a child.
So true ..... couldn't agree more...
As a parent of an exceptionally strong willed teenager.... I concur with ur views 😢😅
Some people even don’t have the patience and just had kids for having kids.
My friend was one of the unwanted kid and her parents treated her horribly. This set her up for a horrible teen/early adulthood, where she did things she regretted.
Now, after lots of mistakes in her 20s and lots of therapy, she’s accepted that her parents will never love or be there for her. She’s got a better job and is in a much better place.
Guess what happened to their golden son? He threw his mom and dad out of the house because his wife didn’t like them. And the parents made a big mistake of signing their house to him.
So guess whom they reach out to? My friend. And she shut the door on their face.
So I learned a lesson here. You don’t choose the child or the hand you’re dealt with as a parent. You don’t choose how you want or expect your child to be, unconditional love is when you accept and stand by your child as they are, their cons included.
If you can’t accept how your child is or what they turn out to be, then you’re not a parent. Hating your kid can do more damage to another human being that doesn’t deserve the hate.
Same with my mom. She was great with us as children, however when it came to teens, and adults, she struggled.
I’m not hating on parents here, I admire you all and your guts, your resourcefulness and your strength. Parenthood is a step that should be an individual decision and should be taken very seriously.
There is a difference he is your own blood that y you are patience but i know for the fact the world i have seen people are really that kind hearted p.s i not favoring this couple just saying the world i have been
@@jyothibedar1657 , Adoption is not for everyone. In the western societies, a couple is carefully evaluated before letting them adopt a child. In a way, the couple in the news did a good thing. I don't think that they are capable of completely loving and caring for a child who isn't in their own blood. At least that kid is saved from potentially even bigger traumas and scars.
They did it because they had an option. No one returns their own child no matter how badly he behaves, they just say he is just a kid, he will understand when he grows up.
very true, blood relation, emotions are real and it's no wrong. A son or a daughter can send their parents to old age home but a parent of physically abled biological kid would never disown them irrespective of their financial or other status quo
@@sunilamaranth5606 yes, exactly my point.
❤well said
Biological kids are abused, manipulated if they are born to narcissistic parents.
God knows may be that also will happen in future ☹️
3 year old child is badly behaved? How? What are the expectations from a 3 year old child?
🤣🤣🤣
People who dont want their biological child.... How they will love adopted child.....
Couldn't do calculus probably.
I thought they expect him to make 200 Microsoft apps@@daksh6388
Maybe he wanted to be a cricketer and not a doctor..... biggest red flag for Indian parents 😅😅😅
@@abhijitroy6778 biological kids are beaten up, abused, abandoned by their parents toohaven't you heard such cases ?😂
Many of the adoptive parents who disrupted the adoption had unrealistic expectations of the adoptive child.
Exactly we as a nation need a reproductive break at the cost of demographic dividend and introspect on our capabilities to handle kids , biological or adopted.
Most of us are traumatised by society for having/ not having/ adopting kids.
When the adult is a handful themselves, kids can easily overwhelm them
@@blobofconsciousness funny part is those giving such advices don't practice it themselves but expect others to do so. Not you in perticular but general that's the case
Kids are meant to overwhelm adults - biological or adopted.
We need new parent counselling not just for pregnant couples but also for those who think about adoption
My cousin brother & his wife adopted a 1 year boy & last 10 years all 3 are living a very happy life....All 28 members , mainly the boy's cousins treat him like a family member...On every occasion we dance, play together...
In my nanis family my 3 mamas have adopted 3 girls
We are all ok with them
Surprisingly all the 3 girls looked like their adopted mother..
They have similar qualities like their adopted mother
What IS important is how the adoptive parents mould such children into a good human beings. Their minds are like clay which can be easily moulded to a correct shape with great effort and care. Many adoptive parents adopt children only because it is a standard to have children and they feel they are being magnanimous and kind to the poor kids. Adopted children need to be worked on like biological children with little more consideration because they do not have the starting edge like biological kids. Sad when adoptive kids are returned, they invariably fall into wrong hands.
Apparently and strangely that can happen quite easily
@@hasanurrahman9365, your Nani’s family is very noble 😊
@@barnchak ya ..they are very kind hearted people..
Being a parent to a child with a disability through adoption, I am glad you are talking about this news. It has been happening for so long in India. It still happens because adoption is not child-centric.
Kids are not commodities. Think about the child who lost his parents again. This is so heartbreaking💔
The problem is society will probably give you a tougher time than them . Our society is very pro - natalist yet not child centric. It's all about when are you having a child rather than are you ready to be a parent.
The family who returned the adopted child should not be allowed to readopt again and be advised to adopt a pet cat or dog .They are clearly not ready to be parents.
So it's ok to adopt a life and abandon it just because it's not a human? Like humans, they too have emotions and are pack animals which means adopted puppies take the family as its pack. This family doesn't deserve adopting any life.
No wonder many ppl think humans are the worst thing with ppl like you asking them to adopt another life as they see them as expendable.
They don't deserve to adopt ANY life. Human or otherwise.
So it is not ok to abandon a kid. But it is ok to abandon a dog or cat?
I dont have cat or dog but people who has it say taking care of dog is more than taking care of a kid... so I dont know if it is okay to adopt a dog or a baby for those people who think adopting pets will be easy....
Not good with a child, how will they be nice to animals..? These people need serious councelling..
Do you think pets don't misbehave? They do lots of stuff which makes you frustrated and angry just like children so people like these even abandon their pets when they don't like how their pet is behaving rather than understanding the problem and working on it and having to compromise.
This is heartbreaking 💔! I hope those parents that want to adopt a child should have a psychological assistment if they are mentally ready. Being a parent is not an easy job.
Why didn't they just adopt a puppy dog? Instead of traumatising the poor child who has been already traumatised once before. Very sad😢😢
Dogs are also like children's they also feel emotions and go through abuse I'm not comparing children life and a dog life I'm only saying these people don't deserve puppies also coz dogs are so pure and gentle souls
Some people abandon dogs on the streets as well once they are unable to manage them
A lot of times. Couples are socially pressurized to adopt a baby if they did not have their own. A lot of people around them just gaslight them into thinking babies are the best in the world and their world will be better or more complete with a baby. There is a lot of "Just get a baby and you will be better. Your couple issues will go away, your problems with your in-laws will be solved, blah blah." This is not true if the couple are not ready for a baby in the first place. They are not going to love a baby especially not their own.
You justifying abandoning pup when they gets bored?
So it's ok to adopt a life and abandon it just because it's not a human? Like humans, they too have emotions and are pack animals which means adopted puppy takes the family as its pack. This family doesn't deserve adopting any life.
People have to realize that when they adopt a child, the child more than likely comes with trauma, reactive attachment disorder, and a whole host of other issues if they were abused. Parents need to go to therapy and the child has to be involved in therapy also so they can understand how to live with the child.
1. Read everything you can about attachment problems and disorders and be prepared for accepting them.
2. Beware of adopting when there are already children in your home, because if biological kids or existing adopted children are in the home, problems are harder to manage.
3. Do not adopt only because you want to have a replacement for a bio child you could not have; the motivation must be that you are prepared to take care of a child that is not your own and that may have social and emotional delays or problems.
4. Educate yourself with materials from adult adoptees; understand that adoption is trauma for many children and understand about trauma and how to help manage it.
Rightly said
"Badly behaved" is a very nice trend of parents to get away of responsibility and abandon children.
@@Meteor-iz5jjhow should a 3 year old act?
Not all people can be parents… it takes whole lot of patience and commitment.. don’t adopt if you can’t tolerate children…I feel sorry for those adopted children to be returned, come on these are children…
I am an adopted daughter only child of my parents...they are God for me❤
How it started please, can you share?
I also think that Indians should adopt instead of having kids ( because of the over population)
Those selfish people! Thank you for the story! ❤❤❤
Sad....I am an adoptive parent of 2 girls. Both legal adoptions. Definitely it is challenging to raise kids in today's world. It takes lot of patience and perseverance on parents' side. Kids are kids and they are the way they are. On top of it they have abandonment issues. With love, affection, patience and help from counsellors when needed, we can overcome the hurdles. The key is to never give up.
You are a good human. ❤respect
Having successful happy marriage, Properly Raising children are most difficult duties in married life
1 why the boy is behaving the way he is?
2 are there any proofs?
3 should the family be made aware of the behaviour issues if there is any before the adoption?
4) Is the family returning the kid because they have an option?
5) should the orphanage be more careful and do thorough evaluation next time before giving kids out for adoption?
6) what kind of care is given to kids with behaviour issues?
There are tens of thousands of cases in the US every year. It is just coming out in India?
The Child Services department in US Handles this. The foster homes concept is a fixed part of US Society. In India there is no such system. And apparently in India it is not so easy to adopt. Yet, such issues happen. It would also be nice to know about successful adoption statistics as well!
The foster care system in the United States is broken. Foster parents are provided with financial support from state governments for the care of the children placed with them, yet many lack the necessary training to address the psychological issues these children often have. Given that numerous foster children originate from unstable and abusive environments, they require substantial support and attention. According to a report by The New York Times, less than 4% of children in foster care complete their high school education. Furthermore, a large proportion of individuals who have been in foster care end up homeless and engage in substance abuse.
So much for a family oriented society. Everyone says bachhe bhagwan ka daan hai. Such hypocrisy. Poor babies are just abandoned and then for this to happen.
And for those saying they should've adopted an animal, they shouldn't be allowed at all. Animals have feelings as well and get attached to the adoptive families.
This family doesn't deserve to have any other life in their lives.
That's disgusting How can someone do this with these children
Government should make strict laws to punish these parents who abandon adoptive child
Punishing parents will not solve this issue. perhaps they should scrutinise the parents and their expectations with more care - including their capabilities. Forcing them to keep the child won't sort out the matter either.
Sad to know this reality, innocent kids need to go through this trauma. Glad to see FirstPost picking up a news like this. Such subjects need to be brought in forefront.
Very informative. Thanks for choosing this important subject.
The parents should be provided support. Returning a innocent child is a moral crime. It will create psychological issues. Child trust must be earned by unconditional love.
Then why don't you adopt him rather than expecting others to burn their pocket
Wbu
@@zionmoses1839When one doesn't have anything constructive to say, it is best to keep the trap shut.
@@WorldCitizen-gz6fn when you can't accept constructive criticism...then don't give one 🤦
@@zionmoses1839 😂😂Constructive Criticism! What are you smoking? must be real good shit to think your earlier verbal diarherra was constructive. 😂😂😂 Based on both your comments I can conclude that constructive and you are an oxymoron.
Before adoption parents should come to orphanage from where they are adapting and spend daily some time with that kid. Then they will come to know if they are ready for adopting children or not.
I wish that boy stay in peace of mind and enjoys his life.
Good idea!
Children are not play dolls, where you go and play with then for sometime and if you feel like taking them home, get them home. But I understand your good intention.
Also I think the adoptive parents are not counselled. They need to be told about what they can expect from a child who has been living in an orphanage. These kids have been through so much trauma that they need at least 2 years to get over the trauma n start making bonds with the family. Unfortunately they are given up before that. Many ppl think u adopt an older child and the child will show gratitude. They need to understand that for the child to be placed in a family is a confusing situation n they don’t know what to do and hence behavioural problems.
The biggest heartbreak is when these kids are taken to a psychologist by the adoptive parents they get labelled.
Very very sad .
Thank-you for addressing this. ❤️
People can be unaware they have issues until they have children. Not having the necessary skills to work through triggers or being ashamed of not knowing how, parents give up not feeling equipped for parenting challenges. We all go through it. Thankfully counseling can help or community parenting programs to name just a few possible options.
The court took a good decision by taking the child back otherwise these people would have abused him for life ......
Sad world we live in. Returning kids, abusing kids and even babies, animal torture like what happened at vectic pet recently. Whats the point of anything when basic kindness is missing in humans. God help us.
What if a child who had been primarily been adopted by rich parents and then returned by them due to some reasons, same child is being adopted by some other parents who are little poor and could not afford all the amenities child had been given in his first adoption? It would be a nightmare for the second adopted parents to fulfil his wishes which is no fault of poor parents and also child, but blame shluld be on riche parents who adopted child first.
What a child needs is love not money. As an educator I taught many rich kids who were starved of love. One 7 year old wrote me a love letter. I met with the parents to let them know that he is lacking attention. And the mother said they buy all the toys for him. As if that would compensate for their absence.
True
The problem with the adoption agencies is that they give so much importance to couples. Instead, if they had asked who is primary provider, then there won't be this issue and many singles don't have to loose hope!
Even my 4 year old has started behaving badly for the past 3 months. But we have no option!!! Thats called as blood relation. Nowadays im scared of weekends. 😂😂😂
Good luck raising him/her hope he/she doesn't grow up neglectful
Have patience....this too shall pass 🙏🤞
Thanks for such an understanding reply to the comment.
being a parent is challenging even for your own biological kids.. so if you are not prepared dont adopt any kids and just live your life..
but it is better to adopt a baby who was just born because the baby will bond strongly with the adopted parent
I think we should stop having biological kids now or at least reduce it to 1... the world is overpopulated literally
Shaken by this video.. kudos to you for taking it up
Shame on them.
People who think they are doing a favor on child by adopting them should not adopt.
Oh dear god. This is sad. Why didn't they just buy a dog? Terrible.
But then they will abuse the dog too.
Not necessarily, a puppy doesn't play up as long as you pat them, feed them and give them a bed. I am not saying they still can't be dumped but the poor things won't cry like a child would if they need time to settle into a new relationship.
You need to mention the age group of the children who are returned as well.
*During pregnancy u don't know what mother has gone through that effects the child when born 👈All adoption agency should keep in mind what kind parents the child were born and accordingly can inform the parents* 😢
I think this is another reason why adoption is made so time consuming and difficult in India.......
A woman once married off & then abused by in-laws is abandoned. Parents don’t want her to come back home, in-laws torture. No gothram. Yeah ????
2:45 prove what..that they are well trained? Is it humans or puppies we are talking about?
How about child and to-be parents given a chance to stay together for 1-3 months, either in parents home or in any other suitable homely environment before the final legal adoption ?
This will give the parents a chance to understand the kid and make informed decision. It is easy to blame parent for returning a child, but these days our own children are so difficult to manage.
You are basically asking for a trial period. Look at it from the child's perspective. It's just cruel.
@loveshell007
It will be far less cruel than getting adopted and then returned back again.
These kids already staying in orphanages where their care takers might keep changing.. It may not be difficult for them to live with someone for a short time. It may also give them a chance to say no, if they didnt like the new environment or to-be parents.
If you think its cruel on child, then change this a bit.. Make them attend a summer/winter camp together as a fun activity.. Basically spend some quality time to understand each other before.
You dont want to change anything, then you wont change the end-results too..
In fact that already happens, so to speak. Not intentionally. When prospective parents chose a kid on CARA, they need to bring the child home and comple pre adoption procedures within 20 days. In the mean while, the application is submitted to the district magistrate for legally finalizing the adoption. Until then adoptive parents only act as foster parents and the state agencies still remain the legal guardians, until the court approves. This may take a few weeks to a few months. So until then they remain as foster parents.
Adoptive parents should be arrested if they want to return or abandon them . Why adopt when he/she can't handle or take responsibility come what may
Such parents should be banned from adopting in future.
Moreover some training program has to be made mandatory before adoption.
Adoptive parents, who return adopted children, do not have experience and patience to bring up children. Since adopted children can be returned they easily take this route. But for biological children they have to secretly abandon them, most likely unlawfully. The adopted children, before being adopted, grew up in a totally different atmosphere, most cases having different language, culture, food habits, etc. Adoptive parents must understand these children are scared to death when they start living with them, because they are uprooted from orphanage which they know as their home. Its not easy to make emotional bonding with them. It may take years for these children to accept them as their loving parents. Adoptive parents must understand its them who asked for children, not the other way round.
I know a family who adopted a new born baby girl. They have one biological son. They wanted a daughter. Hence this adoption. Initially they were looking for a little older girl, 2 to 3 years may be just to avoid the hardship involving in very young child. But counselor advised them to go for less than six months old baby girl since he predicted their son might not bond with a slightly older sister. It may bring trouble. So they adopted a newly born baby girl. Recently visited this family. The new born is now in Class 3 and her elder brother in Class 11, fully bonded like biological siblings and the parents are eve more happy. So, its better to get yourself counseled to know whether you are actually fit to adopt children of any age.
Today people don't know to raise. Kids will never cope. Bad behavior is common. We should know to adjust with them.
Yes, and not all kids behave well in public. Especially during toddler stage. It doesn't mean we are bad parents. It's natural. The problem is we expect perfect career, perfect marriage and perfect kid. Spoiler Alert: Life will be chaotic and that the beauty of it.
They had 10 days return policy.
Amazon return should be this generous 💀💀
God bless them , with all the love, life and care.
As such adoption rules are so difficult and time consuming .
Ok, the bit about FB ads is terrifying. Who knows where those kids end up.
You can 'return' an adopted child!!
I did not know adoption was like getting a parcel from Amazon.
Some kids are not easy to handle and there is difference between own child's epigenetics and some other child. For example its easier to understand your own kid if you sincerely want to because the kid exhibits traits similar to family. I am talking from experience
Very heartbreaking
A support team should always be available n regular meets and counselling might help! Raising a child is a no child's play! Understanding from that child's point of view ...is what needed the most to understand their behaviour. Many a times adults don't hv time for that 😢
The parents should be on the hook for child support of abandoned adopted child.
What a shameful behavior people are not even mature enough to deal with children
While we are discussing adoption and readoption, please also cover the absence of foster care makes parents wait and wait and wait
When I was growing up in Bharat, I got traumatized by something I saw in a Gutter. I was walking towards the Store after School and on the way I saw a toddler who laying in a Gutter half burnt. She looked like she was about a year old. She also had reddish hair which made me think that that child was of mixed origin. How could a Mother or a Father do something like that to a child?
In Britan too, I regular come accross many families who neglect and abuse their children though there is a strong Children safeguarding services available through out the country now ,how does this happen in a western country like UK !?!
Heart breaking. There should be no "choice" to return your child
😢😢😢😢😢 cant believe this world people are expecting from 3 years old😢
Some children who are born to drug addicted mothers have severe mental issues which result in the child being uncontrollable, destructive, and not being able to follow any normal behavior. It is very hard to take care of such kids. But, abandoning them is not the way.
Good selection 👌 😊
what about if its their biological children behave bad? will they get rid of them?
Sickening. Imagine the stress on the child. 😢
I was searching for this news
Is it a business? So there half property should be given child if adoption cancelled
What rubbish....why a solution to every problem is half the property...? When u will die will u take money with you?
@@zionmoses1839ye ladkiyo ko lagta hai sab kuch half property karke sahi ho jata hai.......of course there should be laws and they should be followed...but I think adopters should at least have an idea of managing the child before adopting it..
@@ram_bharosey Pati ke paise pe mauj karengi aur bolengi all men are the same.... ladkiya ajj ke zamane mein Rahu ke barabar hai... jitna door raho utna hi accha 😂🙏
Adopt as a baby and they bond well.
According to the Supreme Court of India, adoptive children ARE legally different from biological children. That's why a woman who takes child care leave for step kids is eligible to take maternity for “her own” kid.
Please state ipc for that.i want to see that.
Btw by law adopted children are legally given same rights as biological child.they get parents inheritance.whereas guardian have no legal duty to the child they are guarding means no inheritance.that the law...
A child adopted legally by Hindus is equal in status to a biological child in ALL ASPECTS.
Please get your facts right.
Would they have left their bio child???
All children deserve parents ...vice versa is not true
So very sad.
Couples who wish to adopt need counseling beforehand. Children are not toys to be returned if found defected. These type of couples should be fined a really high fine, with the money being put in the child's name.
as i say "dont try to be a hero" idiots get emotional watching some Reel and thinks they will want to be a savior and then ruins everyone's life
Isn't "rehoming" a child online child trafficking?
A child is a child be it adopted or biological , how can someone return , is it a commodity ?
As of my knowledge,there is no provision of returning adopted child.Nor the person who gave for adoption reclaim.May be that is why they took this deplorable route.
Such parents should never be allowed to adopt any child in future
Which means they are not fit to adopt. Will they return if it were thier own kids. If your not mentally prepared dont even adopt. Just chill at your own pace. Be it your own or others children come with thier own package and adopted means some may carry some emotions from the womb or how they are handled post birth. Hence they need more love care and bonding so they forget and all the trauma and become better individuals...
When they adopt a child,they should understand that they child is coming from orphanage. He/she is disturbed child and their mantle health need care and it takes time.
How traumatic for the child,
Adopted are like animals. Initially they are cute, when they are no longer what you expect they are abandoned like cats and dogs.
Can they give it in adoption?
When i was 19teen i was working as a security for a big hospital in nagpur and there was a boy my age who was a orphan we weren't very good friends but had contact with each other like one i was able to leave that security company for very bad work hours and poor treatment of employees by the recruiter and many feared because that recruiter he was a semi ~ demon i left after 2 months of working offcourse and a other boy my age left it before me i helped him get his personal doc back from that recruiter and i also got mine after some time when my month ended i left tht company because i had parents an a home to call the orphan boy had settled himself and he wasn't planning to leave because offcourse he had no support.
Wait untill you find out how biological parents treat their children.
Not to judge because I don’t have children … but if it was your child (blood and gene) would you throw them away .
So now toddlers are treated like online shopping packages if you are dissatisfied you can return 😮😮
How can Once a child is adopted ? The mistake lies in the up-bringing of such PARENTS; IF THEY DON'T WANT, THEY SHOULD BEAR THE EXPENSES UNTIL THE CHILD GETS ADULT.....OR STOP THIS..
What would they do if it was their biological child
A good Indian will adopt ❤ India has the highest rate of orphans
Really 🧐
Why then adopt. What u want is well disciplined robo child. Buy robo. Family not suffer. Child suffer physically and mentally emotionally scarred. Cruel adoptive parents. 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮
Chill the child is just 3 yrs old
they still understand every thing
💔 heart breaking…
I think psychology is after waiting for so long when the child has other issues they don't want to take risk
Did you know 95% of children born now will not take care of their parents?
What we need is more orphanages than adopting people. This will help people to be less greedy about life.
Returned the 3 yr old back ? What kind of parents do that ? What if the child was there own? This couple surely never understood what hvg a child is, irrespective of the childs behaviour. Good they returned the child back, certainly they dont deserve hvg any.
Oh I wish if I can adopt such child
Absurd behavior from these adoptive parents..They are using children as return within 30days if not satisfied as if they are lifeless item..We don’t abandon our biological child even if there is a problem.As parents it’s our duty to love n nurture children whether biological or adopted..
Who would they return if the child was their own..?????? Disgusting inhumane act….. people are loosing humanity.