It’s so upsetting to me that when you tell your mother as a teen that you had consensual sex, she becomes hysterical for 3-5 days, but did nothing when you were 8 and told her you were being abused. Awful. I’m so sorry
Agree. This was the typical reply back when I was growing up as a teen in the 80s sadly. Now it’s considered abuse and I’m just now at 52 healing my traumas. It’s so great and so beneficial that stories like this are here for people to learn from! And to know this isn’t ok this is abuse!
My 8 year old daughter was groomed by her biological dad, my husband, to believe that’s how you “showed love” (sexual abuse). I worked nights as a pediatric nurse. My daughter didn’t even think to tell me, she thought it was normal. I heard a voice in my head say, “Divorce him and leave him now!” I did! That voice had saved my and our lives many times. As my daughter became an adult, she had shame thinking it had been her fault. Until she had kids. When her oldest turned the age that her abuse started, she realized her child had zero sexually, was extremely innocent, therefore she had been innocent too. At that point, she cut off all contact with her dad. 26:30
Hearing Jordan say she didn’t feel she could tell her mom just broke me. I never want anyone to feel they are unable to come to me. Especially my own children.
I cried when Jordan talked about her mother's reaction. I remember telling my mother I had been repeatedly sexually assaulted by family member. At first she acknowledged it. She started crying and then suddenly, like a switch had been flicked, she told me that I hadn't been praying enough and I was probably just having nightmares. I didn't think I could feel more broken until that moment. I grew up a Jehovah's Witness. What would happen if everyone knew that our lives weren't perfect? Thank you Jordan for sharing. Normalizing the ability to share our experiences is incredibly important.
Oh Jordan, I just can't imagine the trauma you went thru, but the courage to tell this to so many people and be so open about it is admirable. You are a power woman! and a huge digital hug to you, mckay and the little bean
Jordan and McKay are the age of my grandchildren. This does not prevent me from being in awe of their character, wisdom and critical thinking skills. I am in tears today concerning Jordan’s story. I have not viewed the vid about her c section because I know it will be hard to hear how she suffered. Now I know she suffered even before that. It is my deep and profoundly held hope that you feel safe, sweet Jordan. You are worthy of it.
Oh my goodness. So "sexual sins" are Akin to murder, but they think you should protect your abuser?! I am so so sorry for all you went through. I cannot imagine how hard it was to not even have the support of your own mother.
I have been following Jordan and McKay every since their first time on the DCP. I had tears listening to Jordon’s story. I was raised in the Catholic Church and suffered many years of sexual abuse ( by my bio father)from the age of six ( I’m now in my 60’s). My admiration for Jordon is HUGE. I am so thankful for the times we live in today. Abuse can be talked about … confronted so much easier than they could in the 1960’s and 1970’s. I wish I had half the strength of Jordon!
You have so much strength, especially making it through so much of your life carrying such a burden when the world wasn’t ready for victims to speak up. You are an inspiration to many and you deserve all the love in the world ♥️
Jordan, thank you for sharing your story! I'm a pediatric resident. This really helped me grasp and recognize that unsure feeling i had about some kids i've seen where i had this icky feeling "something IS wrong", but I couldn't really grasp it. You really opened my eyes and gave me some (imho) good pointers. I hope you can help me help a child :) thank you!!
I felt so physically ill listening to all of the sexual assault aspects of Jordan’s story but I had to pause, walk away, and actually cry to my boyfriend about wanting a baby monitor in her room. Thinking about having a child, allowing them to be abused under our roof, ignoring their concerns about abuse, taking them to the doctor frequently for symptoms of abuse, and still not putting my foot down? Any person my child says is making them uncomfortable wouldn’t be allowed in my home. If they wanted a baby monitor in their room because of a family member making them uncomfortable coming in their room? That’s a disgusting thing to just ignore. I’ve never wanted to cause bodily harm to strangers more in my life than I do right now. Not just Jordan’s abuser but her mom for ignoring and denying it and her uncle for trying to cover it up.
By announcing your period starting..: Was your mother warning your abuser?? Also I’m so sorry about everything that has happened to you. I suffered similar birth and childhood trauma and my husband like McKay is my “was this normal?” 😂
I also wondered that. Like was this her way of telling the abuser in a way that made it seem like she was addressing everyone so that no one could ever say she knew cause she told him one on one.
I thought that too 😔 I have a sinking feeling the mom suspected, or even was abused herself and just couldn’t bring herself to admit it. Heartbreaking thoughts
I agree so much with John the church increased the issues within Jordan's life, but then were the one who presented the solution. It's insane, I was thinking that the whole time! So glad it was pointed out.
Jordan, I have been watching your UA-cam channel for sooo long…like I’m pretty sure since the beginning and I knew some hints from a few things you have said on your channel but like McKay said, as much as it may feel some of this stuff was “normal” at the time it was not. I am so sorry for you not being believed. The abuse I experience and sexual assault, as well as harassment were made far more traumatic when people either undermined it or doubted me. I couldn’t imagine if my mom didn’t believe that I was r*ped. You were born to be a bad ass feminist bitch and I am glad you can own that now!!
My heart is breaking hearing Jordan's experience. Everyone who was supposed to protect a vulnerable little girl repeatedly let her down. I can't help but see the parallel between Jordan being dragged back to her therapist to recant her story with her mother and family member waiting in the car, and Jordan taking her college friend to the Bishop while she waited in the car. Unconsciously following imprinted patterns. Such a poised young lady - and has all the makings of a compassionate therapist.
The dynamic of everyone in this conversation is great. No one is speaking over another person, the flow to “tangents” are so relevant and appropriate, everyone’s mind is open and fully invested in learning more about each other’s experience and finding out the core issues
Always manage to be surprised by Jordan's resolve. With the video about her c section and now the details about her childhood not long after, I just have a ton of admiration for her. (Addendum, as someone who has trauma I know it's no fun to be treated like you're brave for being hurt, so to be clear what I admire is the way she's worked so hard to recognize the abuse for what it was and be able to explain it publicly like this- after explaining one (1) traumatic event to my therapist I feel like I need to sleep until next week's session so I am just in awe.)
2:10:00 This is so great. John is having a real-time epiphany and I love it. And Cara is right, societal gender roles make it easier to accept the back seat placement for a woman. I’m just speculating here, but I imagine that because our culture as a whole reflects its Christian roots, patriarchy is more or less the default. So women, secular and theistic, internalize these cues and form their understanding of “normal” around it. Subconsciously we understand that men are just inherently more capable, even in the context of feminism we compete with the patriarchal standard. They set the bar. Our identity in part is formed with that. So the systematic subjugation of women is almost natural in the context of the church.
I was a convert at age 8. Perfect time to be baptised. Our family friend who I babysat for was the president of our branch. He abused me for years before I told. I'm crying watching this.
As a child, I asked my parents, "If someone confesses a crime to a bishop, does the bishop have to call the police?" They told me that bishops--"like other priests and pastors"--had confidentiality with their congregants. Even children can see that it's a systemic weakness, but a lot of grown ass adults have the equivalent of software patches band-aiding over these moral issues.
This is not true in many states. I took a ministerial ethics class in seminary last year and they had us look up mandated reporting laws in our individual states, and most people reported that clergy are mandated reporters.
It’s possible OP is talking about the Catholic Church. In the Catholic Church, anything you say in confession to a priest etc., is in total confidence so they do not report heinous crimes. I’m sure other denominations do.
@@jensenpratt4347 this may be true, but it would be my assumption that it is improper. If clergy are legally mandated reporters, I don’t think any clergy privilege would void their responsibility to report.
There can also be other reasons for chronic UTIs in children, so parents should be aware of the possibility of abuse, but not jump to conclusions. My daughter had them and it was because she is on the spectrum and ADHD which caused her to have trouble reading the cues in her body that tell her when she needs to go to the restroom...and hyperfocus would cause her to hold things in. The result was chronic constipation which caused bacteria to travel to the urinary tract. I had nurses be very judgemental towards me during the time when we were trying to figure out what was going on, she was not around anyone but me so I knew she wasn't being abused. Just thought I'd add this to the convo in case any other parents are going through or have gone through this.
Jordan, thank you for sharing your story. I can only imagine the work you have done to heal from the things that have happened to you. I truly appreciate you talking about your sexual and emotional abuse. You are helping others for sure. One of the silver linings of you going back to the church is you found McKay. You make a dynamic couple and I am happy for you. You will be one of the best therapists too! Sending love ❤️ and hugs 🤗.
Listening to you talk about your mom was reminding me so much of mine, Jordan. Daughter of a likely-BPD mother here, who was physically abusive to my already disabled body. I couldn't imagine having the overlay of a cult over that. I've been no contact for 10 years, and I have a 5 yo who doesn't even know her. My parenting strategy has been thinking about what my mom would do in a given parenting situation, and then doing the exact opposite. It's been pretty foolproof. Here's to surviving, and to therapy-- you are a warrior, but I am very sorry that you had to be from such a young age.
Jordan, I am sad and angry that you had to go through the traumas of your life. Kids should be protected and loved and believed. I’m also so glad that you shared with us here and on your channel, you are helping so many people both ex-mos and never-mos.I’m finally at 44 going to therapy in part because you and Jordan speak so openly about therapy.
Fantastic interview. As a former youth director within the United Methodist Church, my ears perked up when you mentioned towards the end about the systems in place within denominations like Methodism. I would like to add, I highly value these systems, but even within the past few years, I experienced quite a bit of pushback when training volunteers about the systems, or when protective policies were being enforced. At the end of the day, as a culture, and as people who follow God in various contexts, child safety must be prioritized in a revolutionary way. I love Jordan and McKay, and as a never-mormon, I so appreciate their insights and experience sharing. I pray for their ongoing healing.
I know understand the hatred that Mckay always exudes when talking bout Jordan's mum, and honestly same. She is a victim of the church and everything else, but she was an abuser too and harmed Jordan to unimaginable levels. I wish nothing but healing, happiness and love to Jordan ❤❤❤
Yes you two ARE a big deal and thank goodness for therapists. I am so glad you have had that to help you, Jordan. McKay you are a wonderful person to be able to let Jordan know what was and wasn’t normal. My partner does the same for me and it’s very validating for me. Love you both so so much and I am so sorry you had to experience what you did and I am so glad you made it out. Ponzi scheme for life ❤️❤️
Until this video I didn't really realize that some people get to live their entire lives without even imagining recieving abuse as a child. I loved the way this moment was approached and executed.
Crying while listening to Jordan speak. I have been watching them for so long and didn’t know their stories and I am so grateful they were willing to share their experiences. Beautiful people.
I have always been blown away by Jordan’s compassion, kindness, strength, and also sense of humor and personality. and after hearing this, i cannot even imagine the strength she exhibited to survive this, little less the strength to come out as such a shining and amazing person. thank you for sharing this, doing what you do, and helping others. i am so blown away.
Thank you John for recognising that abuse and the covering it up also runs rampant in such a big church as the catholic church. For me it was the final straw exspecailly since here in Germany they are allowed taxes directly from your wage. I am not willing to pay someone for covering abuse!
What the actual fucking kind of therapist's office would see all of that and go "yes this situation is fine we'll let them drag this screaming crying girl back to their car". This...I'm so sorry. That's all I've got.
Jordan, your bravery and strength are so powerful and from one (former) social worker to another, your story is so important. Thank you for sharing. (Also, McKay, seeing the way that you respond to Jordan throughout this so supportively, verbally and nonverbally, is really amazing to see. Big props to you too, trauma like this can affect loved ones if they don't do the work!)
Wish her mom could have had the same energy towards obvious abusers that she did towards imaginary demons. Thank you Jordan for sharing your story. You are so strong and so smart and so lovely and so valid. You’re an inspiration!
Never-mo here. I practice secular witchcraft. So when they were describing the ritual of anointing someone with healing oil, I said out loud, "That's pretty witchy..."
I love this couple. I noticed Jordan looking back to Mckay. I am so happy she has a loving support system in her husband. Thank you for your story Jordan.
WOW!!!! like just wow! mad respect!!!!! so I am going to confess something I have done that you just brought to light and I need to STOP!!! I follow you two (J and M) and little things you do and say I would judge and think they are so stupid. They are little things just the way you say things. Nothing at all wrong in any way! just me being a dick. You know what shame on me for judging people over something so petty and ESPECIALLY shame on me for judging someone that I know nothing about!!! being so open, sharing who you are. I am a fool and will try to never judge people off of little petty things again! I love your channel and your content! thank you Mormon Stories for having these two on! I have developed a much deeper love for them and people in general! love people no matter what! you have NO IDEA what they have been thru! what a learning lesson for me! I am so happy you two are doing well now!
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that growing up. Having your own mother not believe what happened to you, to put the reputation of her and the family over your own wellbeing and security is absolutely disgusting. Your an even stronger woman than I first thought.
Jordan, thank you for sharing your story so openly. I can’t imagine how hard this was for you, especially seeing your IG stories after and I’m proud of you for speaking up. McKay, thank you for supporting her. as I watch I keep seeing Jordan look to you for comfort and assurance.
I'm here from Jordan and McKay's channel. I'm so sorry, Jordan. And I cannot BELIEVE anyone would teach kids that sex before marriage is near as bad as murder. That is absolutely sick.
Thank you for being so open, Jordan. I know this is hard. To everyone in this coversation, it's making me process 20 year old S abuse that I didn't understand.
There was a story going around our high school in the early 1970's; The seminary teachers cast out an evil spirit that was in a student. A few weeks later another student committed suicide. The story was that the evil spirit or spirits had gone into this other student and caused the suicide. Scared the crap out of me when I was in 9th grade.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Jordan. Thank you Mormon Stories for having Jordan and McKay. I love their content and watch all their videos.
I am wildly impressed with the compassionate, empathetic, supportive way that this group has been able to tell such a difficult and heavy story. The support of McKay's knowledge about Jordan's experiences to safely bring out details that listeners would never think of is amazing. And John's ability to ask important questions and give support in such a sensitive way is phenomenal. I'm gutted that any of this ever happened to Jordan or any children. I adore the Jordan and McKay content and the way it's presented on UA-cam. And now it's extra interesting to hear this contrast of both your stories in the Mormon Stories format as well. Thank you for sharing.
Cried in my car on the way to work listening to Jordan discuss how desperately she tried to get the attention of her mother. My heart just shatters for you, Jordan. Thank you for being so vulnerable to share these moments, it’s vitally important that others know these types of things so they can better assist the people in their lives who may be displaying similar traits.
It appears that Jordan and McKay had a TOTALLY different Mormon experience.McKay had a pretty normal upbringing with a two parent believer family who were strict in the rules,and Jordan had a crazy person as a Mother.That really has nothing to do with the church per say.Her situation was just made worst by the church's structure.McKay just grew out of it by learning so much of it was BS.....Jordan lived in Hell both at home and in the church.
Jordan, I can’t applaud your bravery enough in sharing your story with us all. What you’ve gone through is completely horrifying and something no one, much less a child, should ever have to experience. Seeing the courageous, charismatic woman you’ve become, the bravery you’ve shown, and the work you’ve put in to get to where you are now is nothing short of inspirational. Sending love 💗
OH MY!!! This interview is amazing. I can't even begin to express my admiration of Jordan. A spiritual super star. I am in amazement of what she has been through and how sound her mind is and how admirably she communicates. Seriously - WOW!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ Also I really enjoyed watching John model active learning as he was processing Jordan's story. I feel like he is learning so beautifully in real time. Carah is so cool and awesome and smart. I laugh at so many things she says and her interviewing skills are so sharp. Such high quality content. Thank you.
Jordan, you're incredible. Thank you for sharing this with such courage and strength - watching everyone else listen with such support and no interruption was also incredible in its own way.
I have been looking forward to this for so long. Thank you Jordan for taking the time to bare your soul to us so publicly. I can't express my gratitude to you enough. I have been with you all since the beginning here on UA-cam! I love everything you do and you are such an amazing role model. I can't wait for tomorrow's podcast.
There seem to be a lot of cluster b personalities in the Mormon church. My mom hasn’t been diagnosed but hits like every trait for BPD and some NPD traits. The church is kinda perfect for black and white thinking etc.
Jordan I cannot even imagine the courage it takes to open up about all of this. And McKay I cannot imagine how heartbreaking it is to listen to a loved one speak about theses things, knowing you cannot go back and change things. You are both beautiful souls and are changing lives by speaking out
Jordan, the resilience and strength you show throughout this is amazing. I’m so sorry you were hurt as a child but I’m so super impressed that you can turn that trauma into something powerful and change the world for the better. Thank you for sharing your story with the internet community. 💜
to comment on last video: the only time I stood when someone came into the room was in the military. The difference? I was standing up for an individual who had the power to send us into harms way, not a board member of the most successful and dishonest MLM corporation.
Jordan, you are so incredibly brave and strong to, not only have survived the abuse you endured but, then share it with everyone. You are incredible. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. That must have taken a lot for you to do. I recently started therapy for abuse (emotional, verbal, gaslighting) and for many, many traumas in my childhood and adult life. Like you, I am lucky to have an amazingly supportive husband who is my metric for how normal something is or isn't. I feel like I'm raw from opening up about things and he's there for me. Like you, I would say things that seemed normal to me and my therapist would be like "no, that's not normal or ok." I also find myself trying to deconstruct my faith as my whole life gets called into question. I was in a normal, less intense Christian denomination but, the patriarchal rules and over emphasis on chastity that's a common thread in most religions, left me damaged. My own mother made comments about me 'earning my white dress' to the owners of the bridal shop. I didn't think much of it then but, the cringe level now makes me feel ill. You are an inspiration. I know you always say you're still working through everything but, you seem to have already worked through so much and I hope to do the same. I want to be happy and be a better mother to my children. You have made a difference in my life and I'm sure many others. Thank you and McKay for sharing your stories and educating us all. There are so many toxic things in most religions that, as you bring them up in your videos and in this podcast, it makes me go "my church did that crap too...dammit." You both are making a huge difference in the lives of so many. Keep up the great work and enjoy extra cuddles with your little one (as much as a toddler will allow) after laying all of your stuff out like this. ❤
Jordan is so bright and beautiful both inside and out. If I had to describe her general appearance/aura it would be like the sunshine. I had no idea she had to contend with such abuse and darkness as a child and young person. She is a young woman who walked through Hell and came out the other side. What an amazing story.
Does anybody else find it remarkable that Mormon missionaries must ALWAYS be paired up in order to keep them from being tempted or accused of anything of a sexual nature but youth can be one-on-one with the Bishop?
I'm always amazed how much people are willing to share on this podcast. It's a credit to the podcast and to each individual guest that you get such in-depth stories about people's lives. Sending so much love to Jordan.
Jordan, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you experienced the things that you did. You’re a strong, resilient, amazing and powerful woman and you’re so amazing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Jordan, you’re truly an incredible person. Exceptionally eloquent, beautiful, and strong. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve got some mom trauma too. You’re amazing for all the work you’ve done to grow and rebuild yourself. Thank you for what you do, both you and McKay are doing incredible things for so many people! Edit: also it’s pretty common in abuse when the abuse is the source of both pain and comfort. It’s cuts you off and makes you more dependent on those small moments of comfort
Thank you so much for being so open, honest, and vulnerable. I admire your bravery and vulnerability. I was also a victim of sexual assault by a family member and because I heard stories of victim blaming I never told anyone. To this day I still struggle with PTSD from it and previous abusive relationships. Again, thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish I could give you a hug.
I'm not Mormons but I'm learning lots both about my own upbringing and Mormons. It seems that part of the disenfranchisement of women is that no Mormon mother is held accountable for any real harm done to their children. Meanwhile being totally blamed for even imaginary infractions of totally delusional beliefs. Only the mothers who woke up to their own intuitions finally after even years hold themselves accountable. Meanwhile they are conflicted because they can't protect their children without sinning against the delusional system.
Oh my gosh, Jordon, you're amazingly brave. I'm 3 times you're age at least, yet we have about the same period story. And mother it seems. I'm not a professional, no official training besides my brain and research, but i had already pegged my mother as BPD. Yet i hadn't put my period story as part of her BPD. I just thought she was trying to destigmatize being a woman. But me creating that excuse for her did not change the horror of the moment, and how much i hated her and myself for hating her in that moment. First she put a big red star on the calendar. RED! Then she makes us all hold hands at the dinner table and announces that i had became a woman that day. And pulls out the cake she baked with first period written in red frosting. She was not a skilled baker haha. I'd kill to have a pic of that cake right now. So there we sit in horror as she makes my dad (who's trying to die in that moment) sister, 11, and 2 bothers 6 and 4, congratulate me. It was about the most horrifying moment in my life. I had just turned 13, so this was 1968. She was into woman's rights, civil rights, politics, etc. So i did fit it into that context at the time. I never connected the fact i was already the family scapegoat to this event. However i did notice she did not do this to my sister a couple of years later. But my sister was the golden child, she was sensitive and i wasn't. Ugh, like you, i thought this was a funny story. But in my Catholic family, most all the funny stories involved my humiliation. So here i am at 67 noticing it took the fabulous and fascinating Morning Stories to teach me thst this was not actually funny. I apologize for the fact my resentment still shows. But thanks to you all for this story and Jordon, you are amazing. And did not deserve that crap. I actually cried at what you just needing your mom's love drove you to. I recognized that in myself, and yet again, hadn't connected those dots. I still carried shame from my faking being sick as a child.to this day. Thank you for helping lift that also.
When discussing the things your Mom did to you to control you, I lived that too! Trying to realize it is abuse but not wanting to make it "that" word b/c it doesn't seem abusive exactly, I felt that so much!! Thank you so much for sharing YOUR story!! The compassion you give yourself is a beautiful example for all of us. I hate like everything you, or anyone has to live this. Thank you to anyone brave enough to share their story w/someone else!!
Wow I have been watching Jordan and McKay's channel for a while (not every video but a lot of them) and I had no idea how deep and painful Jordan's story was. I applaud her for sharing her story and I think there will be a lot of people who identify with it. This was so brave. way to go, Jordan! Just know you have thousands of people who BELIEVE you and support you on your journey ❤️
Thank you MS, for doing what you do. Jordan, holy crop! You are up there with the bravest people I know. Thank you for being willing to be so open and vulnerable. You've all been doing good works since the start, but this is a step beyond. This will bring change.
I mean in most cases you would assume it “wouldn’t be anything serious” with a third grader but I was one of many kids that was sexually harassed and assaulted by another child I went to school with from first grade up until middle school. He was also a family friend so the assault itself didn’t happen at school but the harassment would happen out in the open. It’s awful but it does happen. Children can and do awful things to each other and I think that’s important to highlight. I was never Mormon but our families were both catholic we all went to a catholic school and I find my experience at points almost mirrors Jordan’s especially when it comes to the shame I experienced afterward, feeling the need to maintain some control, and telling what I think are funny stories only to wind up with people horrified to hear what I’ve gone through. This is a trauma that absolutely has messed with my ability to connect with partners and affects me to this day.
I have borderline personality disorder. However I am slightly more capable to control how I act, more than I was before diagnosis. I hope your mum gets help and become better for herself and everyone else’s same
I hope Jordan and McKay see this, I was never a Mormon, however I did come from another extreme religion growing up. I have watched every single video you guys have posted, I love watching you two! Also why I am watching these 3 hours videos 😂😂. Jordan: I can’t believe what you went through. I love hearing your perspective on these events and I think it’s so wonderful that you are turning your trauma into good with your studies. McKay: I love that you are different and okay with it! Your learning to love yourself for who you are! I could easily find myself being friends with you guys! Please keep going! Xoxo
The ending and the realization or conversation of the difference between men and woman was legitimately wonderful to watch and shows why these conversations are so important
This interview caused several trigger points for me as a child abuse survivor. My perpetrators were not Mormon, but as i tried dealing with my past in acting out leading to being disfellowshipped and consequently a volatile failed marriage & counselling within the Church, I was made to feel dirty and unworthy of Heavenly Father's love. Jordan, you & I can compare notes! My reason for leaving the Church was not related to s3xual abuse, but I see now how damaging Church culture and leadership handling these problems and issues can be polarising. John, I want to offer my story. I'm in Australia but ZOOM would work.
Jordan, my mom did the same information digging thing to me! She would go through my stuff including my diary, and then pretend tarot cards or spirits were telling her things. I estranged myself from her over 10 years ago now. I am still uncovering so many things that hurt me as a child. It absolutely is a process.
These kinds of stories make me think more and more seriously about getting licensed as a therapist. I'm so proud of Jordan for coming through that life and into the strong woman she is. I am appalled how horribly her mother and the church failed her, if I were a parent in that situation I would have fought tooth and nail to protect my child, I would shun any family member that would do that to a child and just blow that fucking whistle. I'm reminded of Adam Scott Steed's story and how his father went and fought to protect his son and other kids and I'm so sad Jordan didn't have that. She deserved that and she is just amazing for sharing her story.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Jordan! My heart was breaking with some of the moments you shared. One question I have is where was your father in all of this?
I wondered where her biological father was in all this too. I Must have been so hard for her crying out for attention and her mom just ignoring her because to acknowledge and it admit the advise would have put shame on the family. So sad for Jordan.
I have never cried listening to a MS podcast until now. Jordan you are the strongest woman I know. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. We all love you. So happy I subscribed to your channel from the beginning. You and McKay are very special and it's people like you that make a difference.
I would love someday to hear from someone who grew up in a Charismatic Christian household like myself, the spiritual abuse is rampant. I grew up being taught that the "spiritual world" of angels and demons were more active than the physical world, prophecy, speaking in tongues, etc. My mom also spoke of "imps", and how she had dreams of them and then the next week at church they talked about them- therefore it confirmed to her that they were real.
As someone who was raised in Pentecostalism I'd love to hear that as well. The way that emotional and spiritual abuse, undiagnosed mental illness and belief in the "spiritual world" can intersect is a heavy topic that I have a personal experience of and that I'd like to see talked about more.
The story of Jordan's mom announcing her period to the entire family is so disturbing. My stepdad definitely has some undiagnosed mental issues, along with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and PTSD (physical/verbal/psychological abuse from his ex wives) and he was completely unhinged sometimes. I don't know what went on in his mind sometimes in the way he tried to parent us. There was a lot of psychological and verbal abuse that really did a number on my sister and I. My first period story was pretty bad too, but not because of the period itself or anything relating to it. It just happened to be on the worst day of my life, where my stepdad pulled the most damaging stunt that he ever manipulated my mom into going along with.
It’s so upsetting to me that when you tell your mother as a teen that you had consensual sex, she becomes hysterical for 3-5 days, but did nothing when you were 8 and told her you were being abused. Awful. I’m so sorry
It's soo sad to hear that part especially.
Right? This has me feeling a bunch of feelings.
Agree. This was the typical reply back when I was growing up as a teen in the 80s sadly. Now it’s considered abuse and I’m just now at 52 healing my traumas. It’s so great and so beneficial that stories like this are here for people to learn from! And to know this isn’t ok this is abuse!
Can we all give Jordan a standing ovation for her courage and bravery when sharing her story? I'm in awe of her strength.
Absolutely
🧍♀️👏
Jordan. Wow. Just. Wow
I was just going to say this!!❤❤
My 8 year old daughter was groomed by her biological dad, my husband, to believe that’s how you “showed love” (sexual abuse). I worked nights as a pediatric nurse. My daughter didn’t even think to tell me, she thought it was normal.
I heard a voice in my head say, “Divorce him and leave him now!”
I did! That voice had saved my and our lives many times.
As my daughter became an adult, she had shame thinking it had been her fault. Until she had kids. When her oldest turned the age that her abuse started, she realized her child had zero sexually, was extremely innocent, therefore she had been innocent too.
At that point, she cut off all contact with her dad. 26:30
I just wanna say one thing, I am SO glad they have each other. I admire their strength big time.
Hearing Jordan say she didn’t feel she could tell her mom just broke me. I never want anyone to feel they are unable to come to me. Especially my own children.
I cried when Jordan talked about her mother's reaction. I remember telling my mother I had been repeatedly sexually assaulted by family member. At first she acknowledged it. She started crying and then suddenly, like a switch had been flicked, she told me that I hadn't been praying enough and I was probably just having nightmares. I didn't think I could feel more broken until that moment. I grew up a Jehovah's Witness. What would happen if everyone knew that our lives weren't perfect? Thank you Jordan for sharing. Normalizing the ability to share our experiences is incredibly important.
I am so sorry that happened to you.
I´m very sorry you needed to experience this. I wish you just the best!
@@monstana no one "needs" to experience abuse.
,
,
,
,
I have had an easier time letting go of the abuse than I have from the fact my mother did not believe me. I am so sorry. I understand.
Oh Jordan, I just can't imagine the trauma you went thru, but the courage to tell this to so many people and be so open about it is admirable. You are a power woman! and a huge digital hug to you, mckay and the little bean
... woman? woman??
oh... imaginary woman..
@@xrisxros747 what's the problem? I think she meant to say "powerful woman"
@@xrisxros747 0000
Iu
I think Jordan is going to be a phenomenal social worker. I'm already thankful for all the help I know she's going to give to so many people.
Jordan and McKay are the age of my grandchildren. This does not prevent me from being in awe of their character, wisdom and critical thinking skills. I am in tears today concerning Jordan’s story. I have not viewed the vid about her c section because I know it will be hard to hear how she suffered. Now I know she suffered even before that. It is my deep and profoundly held hope that you feel safe, sweet Jordan. You are worthy of it.
Oh my goodness. So "sexual sins" are Akin to murder, but they think you should protect your abuser?! I am so so sorry for all you went through. I cannot imagine how hard it was to not even have the support of your own mother.
This story is absolutely painful to listen to.
The mental gymnastics are quite amazing aren't they?
I have been following Jordan and McKay every since their first time on the DCP. I had tears listening to Jordon’s story. I was raised in the Catholic Church and suffered many years of sexual abuse ( by my bio father)from the age of six ( I’m now in my 60’s). My admiration for Jordon is HUGE. I am so thankful for the times we live in today. Abuse can be talked about … confronted so much easier than they could in the 1960’s and 1970’s.
I wish I had half the strength of Jordon!
You have so much strength, especially making it through so much of your life carrying such a burden when the world wasn’t ready for victims to speak up. You are an inspiration to many and you deserve all the love in the world ♥️
Now you have the strength and I have so much admiration for you sharing this. Thank you! Take care.
Jordan, thank you for sharing your story! I'm a pediatric resident. This really helped me grasp and recognize that unsure feeling i had about some kids i've seen where i had this icky feeling "something IS wrong", but I couldn't really grasp it. You really opened my eyes and gave me some (imho) good pointers. I hope you can help me help a child :) thank you!!
I recommend the book "The Gift of Fear", it talks about this intuitive sense that somethings wrong
❤
I felt so physically ill listening to all of the sexual assault aspects of Jordan’s story but I had to pause, walk away, and actually cry to my boyfriend about wanting a baby monitor in her room. Thinking about having a child, allowing them to be abused under our roof, ignoring their concerns about abuse, taking them to the doctor frequently for symptoms of abuse, and still not putting my foot down? Any person my child says is making them uncomfortable wouldn’t be allowed in my home. If they wanted a baby monitor in their room because of a family member making them uncomfortable coming in their room? That’s a disgusting thing to just ignore. I’ve never wanted to cause bodily harm to strangers more in my life than I do right now. Not just Jordan’s abuser but her mom for ignoring and denying it and her uncle for trying to cover it up.
I know it's horrible. I can't believe how awful her life was as a child
I had to take a break, too. Heavy stuff.
By announcing your period starting..: Was your mother warning your abuser?? Also I’m so sorry about everything that has happened to you. I suffered similar birth and childhood trauma and my husband like McKay is my “was this normal?” 😂
I thought this same thing 😭
I also wondered that. Like was this her way of telling the abuser in a way that made it seem like she was addressing everyone so that no one could ever say she knew cause she told him one on one.
I thought that too 😔 I have a sinking feeling the mom suspected, or even was abused herself and just couldn’t bring herself to admit it. Heartbreaking thoughts
I absolutely think this was the motive for her mother oversharing. It makes me sick. I’m in awe of Jordan’s courage and resilience.
I agree so much with John the church increased the issues within Jordan's life, but then were the one who presented the solution. It's insane, I was thinking that the whole time! So glad it was pointed out.
Jordan, I have been watching your UA-cam channel for sooo long…like I’m pretty sure since the beginning and I knew some hints from a few things you have said on your channel but like McKay said, as much as it may feel some of this stuff was “normal” at the time it was not. I am so sorry for you not being believed. The abuse I experience and sexual assault, as well as harassment were made far more traumatic when people either undermined it or doubted me. I couldn’t imagine if my mom didn’t believe that I was r*ped. You were born to be a bad ass feminist bitch and I am glad you can own that now!!
My heart is breaking hearing Jordan's experience. Everyone who was supposed to protect a vulnerable little girl repeatedly let her down. I can't help but see the parallel between Jordan being dragged back to her therapist to recant her story with her mother and family member waiting in the car, and Jordan taking her college friend to the Bishop while she waited in the car. Unconsciously following imprinted patterns. Such a poised young lady - and has all the makings of a compassionate therapist.
The dynamic of everyone in this conversation is great. No one is speaking over another person, the flow to “tangents” are so relevant and appropriate, everyone’s mind is open and fully invested in learning more about each other’s experience and finding out the core issues
This!!!!!
Always manage to be surprised by Jordan's resolve. With the video about her c section and now the details about her childhood not long after, I just have a ton of admiration for her.
(Addendum, as someone who has trauma I know it's no fun to be treated like you're brave for being hurt, so to be clear what I admire is the way she's worked so hard to recognize the abuse for what it was and be able to explain it publicly like this- after explaining one (1) traumatic event to my therapist I feel like I need to sleep until next week's session so I am just in awe.)
2:10:00
This is so great. John is having a real-time epiphany and I love it. And Cara is right, societal gender roles make it easier to accept the back seat placement for a woman. I’m just speculating here, but I imagine that because our culture as a whole reflects its Christian roots, patriarchy is more or less the default. So women, secular and theistic, internalize these cues and form their understanding of “normal” around it. Subconsciously we understand that men are just inherently more capable, even in the context of feminism we compete with the patriarchal standard. They set the bar. Our identity in part is formed with that. So the systematic subjugation of women is almost natural in the context of the church.
Brilliant.
I was a convert at age 8. Perfect time to be baptised. Our family friend who I babysat for was the president of our branch. He abused me for years before I told. I'm crying watching this.
The Branch President! Omg, I’m so sorry! I can only imagine how this messed up you trust in men, and God.
As a child, I asked my parents, "If someone confesses a crime to a bishop, does the bishop have to call the police?" They told me that bishops--"like other priests and pastors"--had confidentiality with their congregants. Even children can see that it's a systemic weakness, but a lot of grown ass adults have the equivalent of software patches band-aiding over these moral issues.
Well said
This is not true in many states. I took a ministerial ethics class in seminary last year and they had us look up mandated reporting laws in our individual states, and most people reported that clergy are mandated reporters.
It’s possible OP is talking about the Catholic Church. In the Catholic Church, anything you say in confession to a priest etc., is in total confidence so they do not report heinous crimes. I’m sure other denominations do.
@@jensenpratt4347 this may be true, but it would be my assumption that it is improper. If clergy are legally mandated reporters, I don’t think any clergy privilege would void their responsibility to report.
Unfortunately, in a lot of places “Clergy privilege” still exists and they do not have to report even when it’s CA/CSA.
There can also be other reasons for chronic UTIs in children, so parents should be aware of the possibility of abuse, but not jump to conclusions. My daughter had them and it was because she is on the spectrum and ADHD which caused her to have trouble reading the cues in her body that tell her when she needs to go to the restroom...and hyperfocus would cause her to hold things in. The result was chronic constipation which caused bacteria to travel to the urinary tract. I had nurses be very judgemental towards me during the time when we were trying to figure out what was going on, she was not around anyone but me so I knew she wasn't being abused. Just thought I'd add this to the convo in case any other parents are going through or have gone through this.
Jordan, thank you for sharing your story. I can only imagine the work you have done to heal from the things that have happened to you. I truly appreciate you talking about your sexual and emotional abuse. You are helping others for sure. One of the silver linings of you going back to the church is you found McKay. You make a dynamic couple and I am happy for you. You will be one of the best therapists too! Sending love ❤️ and hugs 🤗.
A mother who offers her child for abuse for 7 years. I can’t find anything positive. She deserves nothing but the absolute worst
Jordan saying she felt like an “old maid” at 20 in the church is exactly the feeling given to unwed young women in the church.
Listening to you talk about your mom was reminding me so much of mine, Jordan. Daughter of a likely-BPD mother here, who was physically abusive to my already disabled body. I couldn't imagine having the overlay of a cult over that. I've been no contact for 10 years, and I have a 5 yo who doesn't even know her. My parenting strategy has been thinking about what my mom would do in a given parenting situation, and then doing the exact opposite. It's been pretty foolproof. Here's to surviving, and to therapy-- you are a warrior, but I am very sorry that you had to be from such a young age.
Jordan, I am sad and angry that you had to go through the traumas of your life. Kids should be protected and loved and believed. I’m also so glad that you shared with us here and on your channel, you are helping so many people both ex-mos and never-mos.I’m finally at 44 going to therapy in part because you and Jordan speak so openly about therapy.
Fantastic interview. As a former youth director within the United Methodist Church, my ears perked up when you mentioned towards the end about the systems in place within denominations like Methodism. I would like to add, I highly value these systems, but even within the past few years, I experienced quite a bit of pushback when training volunteers about the systems, or when protective policies were being enforced. At the end of the day, as a culture, and as people who follow God in various contexts, child safety must be prioritized in a revolutionary way. I love Jordan and McKay, and as a never-mormon, I so appreciate their insights and experience sharing. I pray for their ongoing healing.
I know understand the hatred that Mckay always exudes when talking bout Jordan's mum, and honestly same.
She is a victim of the church and everything else, but she was an abuser too and harmed Jordan to unimaginable levels.
I wish nothing but healing, happiness and love to Jordan ❤❤❤
Yes you two ARE a big deal and thank goodness for therapists. I am so glad you have had that to help you, Jordan. McKay you are a wonderful person to be able to let Jordan know what was and wasn’t normal. My partner does the same for me and it’s very validating for me. Love you both so so much and I am so sorry you had to experience what you did and I am so glad you made it out. Ponzi scheme for life ❤️❤️
Until this video I didn't really realize that some people get to live their entire lives without even imagining recieving abuse as a child. I loved the way this moment was approached and executed.
Crying while listening to Jordan speak. I have been watching them for so long and didn’t know their stories and I am so grateful they were willing to share their experiences. Beautiful people.
I have always been blown away by Jordan’s compassion, kindness, strength, and also sense of humor and personality. and after hearing this, i cannot even imagine the strength she exhibited to survive this, little less the strength to come out as such a shining and amazing person. thank you for sharing this, doing what you do, and helping others. i am so blown away.
Thank you John for recognising that abuse and the covering it up also runs rampant in such a big church as the catholic church. For me it was the final straw exspecailly since here in Germany they are allowed taxes directly from your wage. I am not willing to pay someone for covering abuse!
So many people who should have helped you failed you Jordan. My heart goes out to you.
What the actual fucking kind of therapist's office would see all of that and go "yes this situation is fine we'll let them drag this screaming crying girl back to their car". This...I'm so sorry. That's all I've got.
Jordan, your bravery and strength are so powerful and from one (former) social worker to another, your story is so important. Thank you for sharing. (Also, McKay, seeing the way that you respond to Jordan throughout this so supportively, verbally and nonverbally, is really amazing to see. Big props to you too, trauma like this can affect loved ones if they don't do the work!)
Wish her mom could have had the same energy towards obvious abusers that she did towards imaginary demons. Thank you Jordan for sharing your story. You are so strong and so smart and so lovely and so valid. You’re an inspiration!
Never-mo here. I practice secular witchcraft. So when they were describing the ritual of anointing someone with healing oil, I said out loud, "That's pretty witchy..."
Right I thought this same thing
I love this couple. I noticed Jordan looking back to Mckay. I am so happy she has a loving support system in her husband. Thank you for your story Jordan.
WOW!!!! like just wow! mad respect!!!!! so I am going to confess something I have done that you just brought to light and I need to STOP!!! I follow you two (J and M) and little things you do and say I would judge and think they are so stupid. They are little things just the way you say things. Nothing at all wrong in any way! just me being a dick. You know what shame on me for judging people over something so petty and ESPECIALLY shame on me for judging someone that I know nothing about!!! being so open, sharing who you are. I am a fool and will try to never judge people off of little petty things again! I love your channel and your content! thank you Mormon Stories for having these two on! I have developed a much deeper love for them and people in general! love people no matter what! you have NO IDEA what they have been thru! what a learning lesson for me! I am so happy you two are doing well now!
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that growing up. Having your own mother not believe what happened to you, to put the reputation of her and the family over your own wellbeing and security is absolutely disgusting. Your an even stronger woman than I first thought.
Jordan, thank you for sharing your story so openly. I can’t imagine how hard this was for you, especially seeing your IG stories after and I’m proud of you for speaking up.
McKay, thank you for supporting her. as I watch I keep seeing Jordan look to you for comfort and assurance.
I'm here from Jordan and McKay's channel. I'm so sorry, Jordan.
And I cannot BELIEVE anyone would teach kids that sex before marriage is near as bad as murder. That is absolutely sick.
Thank you for being so open, Jordan. I know this is hard. To everyone in this coversation, it's making me process 20 year old S abuse that I didn't understand.
And I am grateful to you for bringing this up and out in the open.
There was a story going around our high school in the early 1970's; The seminary teachers cast out an evil spirit that was in a student. A few weeks later another student committed suicide. The story was that the evil spirit or spirits had gone into this other student and caused the suicide. Scared the crap out of me when I was in 9th grade.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Jordan. Thank you Mormon Stories for having Jordan and McKay. I love their content and watch all their videos.
Jordan!!!!! Thank you so much for sharing your story!❤❤❤ You are an absolute power house. I hope sharing your story helps your healing journey.
Jordan, my heart is so filled with love for you! Thank you for sharing your story. You're changing the world girl, one exmo life at a time!
I am wildly impressed with the compassionate, empathetic, supportive way that this group has been able to tell such a difficult and heavy story. The support of McKay's knowledge about Jordan's experiences to safely bring out details that listeners would never think of is amazing. And John's ability to ask important questions and give support in such a sensitive way is phenomenal. I'm gutted that any of this ever happened to Jordan or any children. I adore the Jordan and McKay content and the way it's presented on UA-cam. And now it's extra interesting to hear this contrast of both your stories in the Mormon Stories format as well. Thank you for sharing.
35 ish minutes in….😳😳😳😳😳 YOUR MOM!!!! 😱😱😱
Cried in my car on the way to work listening to Jordan discuss how desperately she tried to get the attention of her mother. My heart just shatters for you, Jordan. Thank you for being so vulnerable to share these moments, it’s vitally important that others know these types of things so they can better assist the people in their lives who may be displaying similar traits.
It appears that Jordan and McKay had a TOTALLY different Mormon experience.McKay had a pretty normal upbringing with a two parent believer family who were strict in the rules,and Jordan had a crazy person as a Mother.That really has nothing to do with the church per say.Her situation was just made worst by the church's structure.McKay just grew out of it by learning so much of it was BS.....Jordan lived in Hell both at home and in the church.
Jordan, I can’t applaud your bravery enough in sharing your story with us all. What you’ve gone through is completely horrifying and something no one, much less a child, should ever have to experience. Seeing the courageous, charismatic woman you’ve become, the bravery you’ve shown, and the work you’ve put in to get to where you are now is nothing short of inspirational. Sending love 💗
OH MY!!! This interview is amazing. I can't even begin to express my admiration of Jordan. A spiritual super star. I am in amazement of what she has been through and how sound her mind is and how admirably she communicates. Seriously - WOW!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Also I really enjoyed watching John model active learning as he was processing Jordan's story. I feel like he is learning so beautifully in real time.
Carah is so cool and awesome and smart. I laugh at so many things she says and her interviewing skills are so sharp.
Such high quality content. Thank you.
Jordan, you're incredible. Thank you for sharing this with such courage and strength - watching everyone else listen with such support and no interruption was also incredible in its own way.
I have been looking forward to this for so long. Thank you Jordan for taking the time to bare your soul to us so publicly. I can't express my gratitude to you enough. I have been with you all since the beginning here on UA-cam! I love everything you do and you are such an amazing role model. I can't wait for tomorrow's podcast.
Jordan’s story made me cry. She’s such a beautiful person, so amazing she overcame so much in such a short time.
There seem to be a lot of cluster b personalities in the Mormon church. My mom hasn’t been diagnosed but hits like every trait for BPD and some NPD traits. The church is kinda perfect for black and white thinking etc.
Jordan I cannot even imagine the courage it takes to open up about all of this. And McKay I cannot imagine how heartbreaking it is to listen to a loved one speak about theses things, knowing you cannot go back and change things. You are both beautiful souls and are changing lives by speaking out
Jordan, the resilience and strength you show throughout this is amazing. I’m so sorry you were hurt as a child but I’m so super impressed that you can turn that trauma into something powerful and change the world for the better. Thank you for sharing your story with the internet community. 💜
I am a former JW (born in) and Jordan's mother and mine are so very alike. Trauma is still being healed from....
to comment on last video: the only time I stood when someone came into the room was in the military. The difference? I was standing up for an individual who had the power to send us into harms way, not a board member of the most successful and dishonest MLM corporation.
Jordan, you are so incredibly brave and strong to, not only have survived the abuse you endured but, then share it with everyone. You are incredible. Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. That must have taken a lot for you to do. I recently started therapy for abuse (emotional, verbal, gaslighting) and for many, many traumas in my childhood and adult life. Like you, I am lucky to have an amazingly supportive husband who is my metric for how normal something is or isn't. I feel like I'm raw from opening up about things and he's there for me. Like you, I would say things that seemed normal to me and my therapist would be like "no, that's not normal or ok." I also find myself trying to deconstruct my faith as my whole life gets called into question. I was in a normal, less intense Christian denomination but, the patriarchal rules and over emphasis on chastity that's a common thread in most religions, left me damaged. My own mother made comments about me 'earning my white dress' to the owners of the bridal shop. I didn't think much of it then but, the cringe level now makes me feel ill. You are an inspiration. I know you always say you're still working through everything but, you seem to have already worked through so much and I hope to do the same. I want to be happy and be a better mother to my children. You have made a difference in my life and I'm sure many others. Thank you and McKay for sharing your stories and educating us all. There are so many toxic things in most religions that, as you bring them up in your videos and in this podcast, it makes me go "my church did that crap too...dammit." You both are making a huge difference in the lives of so many. Keep up the great work and enjoy extra cuddles with your little one (as much as a toddler will allow) after laying all of your stuff out like this. ❤
Jordan is so bright and beautiful both inside and out. If I had to describe her general appearance/aura it would be like the sunshine. I had no idea she had to contend with such abuse and darkness as a child and young person. She is a young woman who walked through Hell and came out the other side. What an amazing story.
Does anybody else find it remarkable that Mormon missionaries must ALWAYS be paired up in order to keep them from being tempted or accused of anything of a sexual nature but youth can be one-on-one with the Bishop?
I'm always amazed how much people are willing to share on this podcast. It's a credit to the podcast and to each individual guest that you get such in-depth stories about people's lives. Sending so much love to Jordan.
Jordan, I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you experienced the things that you did. You’re a strong, resilient, amazing and powerful woman and you’re so amazing. Thank you for sharing your story.
Jordan, you’re truly an incredible person. Exceptionally eloquent, beautiful, and strong. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve got some mom trauma too. You’re amazing for all the work you’ve done to grow and rebuild yourself. Thank you for what you do, both you and McKay are doing incredible things for so many people!
Edit: also it’s pretty common in abuse when the abuse is the source of both pain and comfort. It’s cuts you off and makes you more dependent on those small moments of comfort
Thank you so much for being so open, honest, and vulnerable. I admire your bravery and vulnerability. I was also a victim of sexual assault by a family member and because I heard stories of victim blaming I never told anyone. To this day I still struggle with PTSD from it and previous abusive relationships. Again, thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish I could give you a hug.
Big hug to you Jordan! This is heartbreaking. You are so brave!!
I'm not Mormons but I'm learning lots both about my own upbringing and Mormons. It seems that part of the disenfranchisement of women is that no Mormon mother is held accountable for any real harm done to their children. Meanwhile being totally blamed for even imaginary infractions of totally delusional beliefs. Only the mothers who woke up to their own intuitions finally after even years hold themselves accountable. Meanwhile they are conflicted because they can't protect their children without sinning against the delusional system.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Jordan. You're an amazing human being, and so glad you and McKay are on Mormon Stories!
Oh my gosh, Jordon, you're amazingly brave. I'm 3 times you're age at least, yet we have about the same period story. And mother it seems. I'm not a professional, no official training besides my brain and research, but i had already pegged my mother as BPD. Yet i hadn't put my period story as part of her BPD. I just thought she was trying to destigmatize being a woman. But me creating that excuse for her did not change the horror of the moment, and how much i hated her and myself for hating her in that moment.
First she put a big red star on the calendar. RED! Then she makes us all hold hands at the dinner table and announces that i had became a woman that day. And pulls out the cake she baked with first period written in red frosting. She was not a skilled baker haha. I'd kill to have a pic of that cake right now. So there we sit in horror as she makes my dad (who's trying to die in that moment) sister, 11, and 2 bothers 6 and 4, congratulate me. It was about the most horrifying moment in my life.
I had just turned 13, so this was 1968. She was into woman's rights, civil rights, politics, etc. So i did fit it into that context at the time. I never connected the fact i was already the family scapegoat to this event. However i did notice she did not do this to my sister a couple of years later. But my sister was the golden child, she was sensitive and i wasn't.
Ugh, like you, i thought this was a funny story. But in my Catholic family, most all the funny stories involved my humiliation.
So here i am at 67 noticing it took the fabulous and fascinating Morning Stories to teach me thst this was not actually funny.
I apologize for the fact my resentment still shows. But thanks to you all for this story and Jordon, you are amazing. And did not deserve that crap. I actually cried at what you just needing your mom's love drove you to. I recognized that in myself, and yet again, hadn't connected those dots. I still carried shame from my faking being sick as a child.to this day. Thank you for helping lift that also.
Jordan and McKay you have a great you tube channel
When discussing the things your Mom did to you to control you, I lived that too! Trying to realize it is abuse but not wanting to make it "that" word b/c it doesn't seem abusive exactly, I felt that so much!! Thank you so much for sharing YOUR story!! The compassion you give yourself is a beautiful example for all of us. I hate like everything you, or anyone has to live this. Thank you to anyone brave enough to share their story w/someone else!!
I truly believe that the mormon church turns people especially women into control freaks. Healthy boundaries aren't a thing in the LDS church.
Wow I have been watching Jordan and McKay's channel for a while (not every video but a lot of them) and I had no idea how deep and painful Jordan's story was. I applaud her for sharing her story and I think there will be a lot of people who identify with it. This was so brave. way to go, Jordan! Just know you have thousands of people who BELIEVE you and support you on your journey ❤️
Thank you so much Mormon Stories for having the magnificent Jordan & McKay! You did a great thing.
Thank you MS, for doing what you do. Jordan, holy crop! You are up there with the bravest people I know. Thank you for being willing to be so open and vulnerable. You've all been doing good works since the start, but this is a step beyond. This will bring change.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely!!!!! Mormonism is a great example of this!!!!
I mean in most cases you would assume it “wouldn’t be anything serious” with a third grader but I was one of many kids that was sexually harassed and assaulted by another child I went to school with from first grade up until middle school. He was also a family friend so the assault itself didn’t happen at school but the harassment would happen out in the open. It’s awful but it does happen. Children can and do awful things to each other and I think that’s important to highlight. I was never Mormon but our families were both catholic we all went to a catholic school and I find my experience at points almost mirrors Jordan’s especially when it comes to the shame I experienced afterward, feeling the need to maintain some control, and telling what I think are funny stories only to wind up with people horrified to hear what I’ve gone through. This is a trauma that absolutely has messed with my ability to connect with partners and affects me to this day.
My dad was bipolar, and I was raised in the Church. I can relate to your neglect, however it showed up differently for me. So sorry, (hugs).
He was also diagnosed at pyschoid affective disorder...and my mom is paranoid sychphrenic...so you're not alone.
My heart goes out to Jordan. She truly is so strong to reiterate / relive her trauma.
I have borderline personality disorder. However I am slightly more capable to control how I act, more than I was before diagnosis.
I hope your mum gets help and become better for herself and everyone else’s same
Why the heck aren’t medical bills confidential 💀
I hope Jordan and McKay see this, I was never a Mormon, however I did come from another extreme religion growing up. I have watched every single video you guys have posted, I love watching you two! Also why I am watching these 3 hours videos 😂😂. Jordan: I can’t believe what you went through. I love hearing your perspective on these events and I think it’s so wonderful that you are turning your trauma into good with your studies. McKay: I love that you are different and okay with it! Your learning to love yourself for who you are! I could easily find myself being friends with you guys! Please keep going! Xoxo
The ending and the realization or conversation of the difference between men and woman was legitimately wonderful to watch and shows why these conversations are so important
This interview caused several trigger points for me as a child abuse survivor. My perpetrators were not Mormon, but as i tried dealing with my past in acting out leading to being disfellowshipped and consequently a volatile failed marriage & counselling within the Church, I was made to feel dirty and unworthy of Heavenly Father's love. Jordan, you & I can compare notes! My reason for leaving the Church was not related to s3xual abuse, but I see now how damaging Church culture and leadership handling these problems and issues can be polarising. John, I want to offer my story. I'm in Australia but ZOOM would work.
Jordan, my mom did the same information digging thing to me! She would go through my stuff including my diary, and then pretend tarot cards or spirits were telling her things. I estranged myself from her over 10 years ago now. I am still uncovering so many things that hurt me as a child. It absolutely is a process.
I have watched so many Mormon stories … Jordan’s story is the first one I have commented on. Thank you so much for sharing
These kinds of stories make me think more and more seriously about getting licensed as a therapist. I'm so proud of Jordan for coming through that life and into the strong woman she is. I am appalled how horribly her mother and the church failed her, if I were a parent in that situation I would have fought tooth and nail to protect my child, I would shun any family member that would do that to a child and just blow that fucking whistle. I'm reminded of Adam Scott Steed's story and how his father went and fought to protect his son and other kids and I'm so sad Jordan didn't have that. She deserved that and she is just amazing for sharing her story.
Sending you showers of love, just absolute endless showers of love to that lil person who deserved to have full time love,support & protection.
❤️
i’m late and catching up. love your sweater ❤️ looks really nice on you
I’m glad you two are on Mormon stories
This is such an important interview. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Jordan! My heart was breaking with some of the moments you shared. One question I have is where was your father in all of this?
I wondered where her biological father was in all this too. I Must have been so hard for her crying out for attention and her mom just ignoring her because to acknowledge and it admit the advise would have put shame on the family. So sad for Jordan.
I have never cried listening to a MS podcast until now. Jordan you are the strongest woman I know. Thank you for sharing such a personal story. We all love you. So happy I subscribed to your channel from the beginning. You and McKay are very special and it's people like you that make a difference.
I would love someday to hear from someone who grew up in a Charismatic Christian household like myself, the spiritual abuse is rampant. I grew up being taught that the "spiritual world" of angels and demons were more active than the physical world, prophecy, speaking in tongues, etc. My mom also spoke of "imps", and how she had dreams of them and then the next week at church they talked about them- therefore it confirmed to her that they were real.
Yes. We need several of these interviews.
As someone who was raised in Pentecostalism I'd love to hear that as well. The way that emotional and spiritual abuse, undiagnosed mental illness and belief in the "spiritual world" can intersect is a heavy topic that I have a personal experience of and that I'd like to see talked about more.
Look at UA-cam Ex-Fundie Diaries by Elly. Her channel describing her growing up years is excellent!
@@PB-dq9gi Sounds great, I'll make sure to check out her channel! Thank for the rec :)
My mom was part of the charismatic movement within Catholicism. A lot of what Jordan shared here sounds realllll familiar.
The story of Jordan's mom announcing her period to the entire family is so disturbing. My stepdad definitely has some undiagnosed mental issues, along with diagnosed depression, anxiety, and PTSD (physical/verbal/psychological abuse from his ex wives) and he was completely unhinged sometimes. I don't know what went on in his mind sometimes in the way he tried to parent us. There was a lot of psychological and verbal abuse that really did a number on my sister and I.
My first period story was pretty bad too, but not because of the period itself or anything relating to it. It just happened to be on the worst day of my life, where my stepdad pulled the most damaging stunt that he ever manipulated my mom into going along with.
I’m thinking of you and wishing you well.