Dating a single mom. You can’t help who you fall in love with. But a big but if the woman has a child or children you’ll come last. I don’t like that I want to come first. I also like to travel with children you can’t travel. So for me a girlfriend or wife can’t have kids. Good luck to the men or can I say saints that take on a woman with kids. To each their own.
Exactly I am retired and I would never raise another man’s child. Your so correct you will always come second an can you imagine being 75 kicking a ball around a park no thanks
I just finished a relationship with a woman, even moved her, and her son (he is 3 years old), into my home. It lasted 6 months. When it was just the two of us, it was great. But as soon as they moved in, her priorities changed from me to her son. If I am paying all the bills, providing everything they need, then I will be at the top of the priority list. It is not ever going to happen if she has kids. Any man who has reached retirement age has already done “the kid thing” with his OWN children. Raising another man’s children will never match that plus I earned my time now so the last thing I will do is use my time on a child where it does not benefit me. The best arrangement I have found is she lives in her home and I live in mine. When we see each other it is just the two of us.
While it may be true that they tend to say “you’re not my Dad” during those early years, if you’ve been a good father to the child, when they come of age, they realize how good you were to them. Being a stepfather is a thankless job who’s reward comes in Heaven.
My response would be you are correct I am not your father. But I am the one who allows you to share my home. So if you can not respect my home, my authority and my expectations then let’s go talk to your mother and see what she thinks? If she does not fully support me as the authority figure in the home then she and her child can go live somewhere else. Without the mother fully committed with me it won’t work.
Thank you for this great content Mike! Expats need to think about what kind of lifestyle they are seeking and then be mindful of the incompatibles that are involved like travel with young children. I really like your office for your studio too!
Many Single Moms were abandoned by the Father of the child, as they were very young, and not mature enough to be a father. I have seen it happen here in my part of the US. The Family usually helps out a great deal here, so the situation can be anywhere when I was growing up in the 60’s and early 70’s. I agree the positives, and the knowing what kind of girl she is, early in the relationship. The red flags will show up, it’s up to you to clearly see them.
I did not want to raise somebody child that was not mine and found out if I was looking for someone even in their 30's as I was 47, they all had children. I ended up finding a Filipina girl that was 21 years old, when I met her, and it has worked out well for me. Have been married for 25 years now.
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x She wanted about 25, but only for part of the day. She is a school teacher. It is difficult to have a job like that and stay home with your own. I told her about my vasectomy before I even went to meet her, she was fine with that. That worked out well with her career ambition.
@@BruceCinader Thanks for the info. I’ve been thinking about getting snipped before I go over there. I would never have kids at my age in America (cost of living is too much) but undecided on PH kids since I’d leave them with good finances.
I think having strong family support is ideal in this situation. Being a role model/mentor can be very rewarding for everyone involved when it works out. Fingers crossed.
Worked great for me. My wife was a single mom. Best woman i ever met. She is very responsible, loving, respectful, caring, hard working and the best mother and wife a man could ask for. Super loyal and doesn't drink or smoke. I think single moms in the Philippines make the best wives because they are more mature, appreciate a good man and are more faithful. Love my filipina wife
It's good that you're covering this topic. But let's face it, we are all adults, and we all know what happens in life. It is good to just remind people of these facts, but everyone makes their own decisions for their own reasons, and everyone must face the consequences of their own actions. Yes, I know, some guys let their little head do all their thinking, and that's unfortunate. And many young Filipinas are more than willing to have a baby with a western foreigner. That's just life in the Philippines, and until they can get out from under the influence of the Catholic Church, it's never going to change
If I ever met someone to be "my girl" again, my checklist only has two criteria. I have to truly believe that she cares about me for just being me and that she has truly opened her heart to me. The true unicorn. If I can not have that, I will gladly remain forever alone.
@mikesphilippineretirement We have met. It was at our last "bring your girl" night dinner at Speed Racer. I was one of the very few of us who had been here some time now and remained alone. If you ever see me at one of our get expat dinners with a lady, it will only be because I think I may have found "the one." For 4 months, I have been slowly getting to know a girl here. So far, she has passed every shit test known to man with flying colors. I will never publicly discuss specifics, as I would never risk embarrassing her. To date, she is simply a good friend. I have asked her to join me at one of our gathering of angels next week. If you see me with her, it is because it will be my intention to see where this can go. She may be "the one."
I believe that I said this in my initial interview with you; when I accepted my 40-something Wife, I accepted her teen Daughter, too. It was a package deal! In fact, not only did I propose to my Wife, but also proposed to my Stepdaughter! She had never had much of a relationship with her biological father, and I'm the first caring, Loving Dad she's known. I was raised by a Step-father, and learned that true Love and caring doesn't have to be dependent on biological factors! We've had that conversation. Now that my Daughter is currently sick, we're putting her health and recovery first priority. Plans we had this week, weekend and next week can wait. But as I told the Doctor, 'I don't want a temporary fix to her health issues. I want a permanent cure, and I don't care what it takes!' I know that you would do the same. Finding a mature Filipina without children is like hunting unicorns. Accept the child with all your heart, and life gives back happiness and Love doubly! ❤️ Thanks, Kuya Mike 👍
Whether the child is yours or not, you will always be second priority to the mother. The East-West comparison is not equal. Pinoy men run away. Only sometimes there is child support. In the West, men are held accountable by a court of law if there's a DNA match. On the other hand; when you're 60+ and have a 20 something woman in your life that wants children, consider the notion that those children would not be for you, but rather for her after you have passed on and she survives you in her 40s. If you can handle it emotionally and financially, those children can be a blessing for her after you're gone, instead of her being childless with reduced chances of finding another partner. Bedroom activity won't be any less whether there's a baby or young child sleeping in the same room or not. That's normal in PI. Another man's child? Entirely up to you. Consider yourself a guide only. Don't buy their love. Make sure you're never alone with that child. There can be legal implications.
QQQ You said be cautious dating a girl who recently had a baby 6 months old. Where would the father of the child be? Wouldn't the father be in the baby's life?
All the cases I know (a single Filipina mom), the guy (pinoy/Filipino) left her somewhere between when she was pregnant or after giving birth or not much later. I honestly think, it was not his intentions to make her pregnant (most Philippine people have no clue about the how and what of how babies are really made). I think he only was there (with her) for getting his first experiences and she allowed it to happen. It is so simple to avoid getting pregnant but most (if not all) dont get any sex-ed. Because when it is really explained how babies are made (ovulation, egg cell, sperm cell, menstruation) it will ruin the image that god has a hand in that process.("babies are a gift from god", "its a blessing". That is why many Philippine people will say "bahala na" after they had unprotected sex.
The manosphere/red pill community is awakening men to the disadvantages dating single mothers. "being a stepfather is a thankless job" Kevin Samuels.. of course everything is different when you're above 55
@@mikesphilippineretirement just like you stated. The difference is when you're in your mid 50s or older most of the time it's impractical to be with someone in their late teens and early '20s before they start having children. It can be done. But most couple struggle with 30, 40, 50 year age gaps. So understandably being with a woman in her thirties with children is practical. Although He must always keep in mind the pitfalls of being a stepfather.
I agree with you Mike, a single mom is the best, I am 62 and my wife is 48, we both have older kids, advantage, we have good talk and understanding about them, just make shure that you are no santa, support studies etc but not a monthly allowance ( makes them lazy) guide them to stand on their own feet, be a life consultant
Great advise If a women is quick to abandon her child be assured she will let you go faster. You can tell a women’s character by the way she parents her child. If you are only looking for fun and games and a paid traveling companion stick to the bar girls
Totally agree. If you want a good woman, take a look how she is with her children, her mother and father, siblings and especially her dog. Old order Amish women choose a husband based on how he treats his horse.
I think you’re right about single women positives far outweigh the negatives. I’ve been with my Filipina for 4 1/2 years now has one child and the family takes care of her. My girlfriend sees the family often and she is very close to daughter. Good luck
@@Imold774 sounds like bullshi# do not even spread that rumor . If courts here do not make fathers ( deadbeats ) pay any support for 6 kids and the government here will hit me with a Cohabitation law , no way . If , if they ever did , how many Filipinas have the cash for a lawyer , jow many know the process ro file the papers or are even able to get to theses offices . Than catch me if you can , i could have lawyer stall them for years
Interesting topic. When I met Jessa she was a single mom........ but, I was also a single dad. I was raising my son alone for reasons I would rather not get into. I became dad for her son when he didn't have one and she stepped up and became a mom to my son when he was at that point in his life when he needed a mom at that stage in his life. She would come to Ireland for 3 months as a tourist and would fetch him from high school which was 10 miles away. He was extremely proud to tell his school mates "that's my mother" So that's the other side. The side that's seldom spoken about. We now have a daughter together and at least 3 times every week she will video call her kuya Gerard in ireland and he visits here 2 or 3 times every year and she is proud to show her school mates her 6ft western kuya. It has gone full circle Sometimes things just work out better than you could ever have imagined
There's another side to dating someone with kids. Over time, you will probably learn to love them as much as you would if they were your own. But if the relationship ends for whatever reason, you lose not only her but the kids too because you have no rights, legal or otherwise, where those children are concerned.
I raised 4 kids (2 biological and 2 non-Biological). There is a big difference regardless of what people say. It's a lot of work raising kids and if they are not yours it is much harder.
A man from the west over 50 should leave the childless Filipinas under 30 for younger men who they can grow old with. When you marry a Filipina who has 1,2,3 kids you are making an incredible difference in their lives. I mean no disrespect but 99.9% of the single mothers I met in the Philippines were poor and struggling. You, with even a modest income from the west, can lift her and her children up out of poverty. You are giving her a better life than she would otherwise have and giving those children a chance of breaking the cycle of poverty. A “Real” man can love them, raise them, and guide them in ways they would never experience being raised by a single mother. As for people commenting about raising another man’s child or being told “you’re not my father”, stop being a narcissist. It’s not the children’s fault that their “real” father abandoned them and their mother or died. They are innocent and have need of a “Real” man in their lives. Raise them to be kind and compassionate to others, especially to children, who are not theirs. All of that is especially important to consider if you have already raised your own children. Also, remember if her child(ren) are older than 3 or 4 you get to skip the years of diapers, crying, sleepless nights etc. 😅.
From my experiences in the Philippines, your information is correct. Your viewers can assume this is accurate. Single moms can make great spouses, they've seen the hard times & appreciates a good man.
Get the old maid no husband no kids and financially stable. Or single at 30's most filipina are late to marry or don't want to be married they are financial stable or capable independent one.
Not all he said is true the educated and middle class is no kids and not married. Not all elite and middle class who lives in Metro Manila is wild that is wrong try to go to bar resto or disco at provinces. In my 40's is my first to partying. You want the single mom with they are ready to do live in arrangement but the more educated and middle class or elite are smart Not all you said is correct. In Metro Manila you can find the nicest and reserved one. You like the domestic one and looking for
Met my wife in HK where she was a single mum, working as a Domestic Helper, to support her 3 Yr old son and family. Together 6 years before we got married, during which I helped out with the son. After we wed in HK I adopted John, her son and we brought him to HK and put him through international schools. He's now 28 and running a restaurant at the Sheraton hotel in HK. Now it wasn't easy at times having a young kid always in tow, but the good times far outweighed the bad. No regrets. I'm obviously a glutton for punishment as since then we adopted her two nieces after her sister died at 28yrs old. They are now 20 and 17. I retire end of September and we look forward to to moving to our bungalow home in Isabela. Best thing I ever did. Single mums are very honest, open books and grateful that they have someone who looks after them. ❤
Based on what I see with Chad and Ann, it’s no big deal. Maybe a little extra to send to the grandparents raising the kids and visit the province once or twice a year. Can’t name all the other single Filipina moms dating expats I see but most of them operate that way. Mike seems to be the exception letting the kid stay with them.
I see many with the children but the family lives close. On the other hand lots seem to have her kids with the family. What ever works best is the right way to go
@@mikesphilippineretirement honestly , i would have be like you when it comes the kids. I can’t get my head around that part of the culture. If I’m marrying her, kids stay with mom and me.
Asian men (which includes Filipinos) are often traditional and are reluctant to accept a divorced partner with a child or single mom. They are also very against raising another mans child. Filipinas bring part of Asian culture often becomes rejected by filipino men if she becomes a single mom…the best option for women in this situation is to seek a non Asian guy. Thats why you see tons of Filipinas (single moms) on dating sites seeking a guy from a western country eg Europe, Canada or US. Some western guys have a different mind set and are more open to a relationship with a single mom
I am from Europe and i disagree with you. That kid has NOT my genes and not OUR genes. And every day when I see that kid, it reminds me of her previous relationship/marriage. And she expects me to fund all that, what was so easy to prevend from happening? I dont mind her having sex before she got married or before she met me. I am NOT interested in a virgin. But I am not gonna spend my money and my valuable time and effort in raising a kid that is not OURS. And besides, in my neck of the woods we raise kids way differently. We raise them to be independent and to be critical. That are 2 traits that are frowned upon in the Philippoines.
Europe is way different than USA. A single mom with a kid, is still working and the kid is in day-care. The new boyfriend has no responsibilty towards the kid whatsoever bec the kid will NOT allow it. The kid knows damn well the new boyfriend is NOT his biological father. And so the new boyfriend has a hard time, to win over the kid's trust and love. Futhermore, kids in Europe will have their own bedroom from a very young age onwards. On odd or even weeks (or weekends), the kid is usually with the biological father. And kids are raised (in Europe) to be critical thinkers and to be independent. So in all, the situation in Europe is very different compared to USA (and to the Philippines).
no responsibility what if he has the girl move in with him and she brings the kids. Does he not have to supply him a bed. water, food there is always some responsibility when a child is involved
@@mikesphilippineretirement, No Sir Mike, even when she moves in with him or he moves in with her. The mother wont allow it and the kid wont allow it. Yes, sure the bed. But the rest is all the mother's responsibilities. Its HER kid with her genes (and genes from the biological father). Hence, my remark, that (western-)Europe is different.
@@mikesphilippineretirement, let me try to explain it in more detail: Situation 1: a woman with kid moves in with him (he has no kid(s) or with kid(s)) The woman is expected to pay/contribute for the extra water usage, electricity, food, clothing expenditures. And she will do that bec she is still working and she understands that totally. Situation 2: the man (with kid(s)) moves in with woman with kid(s) The man is expected to pay/contribute for the extra water usage, electricity, food, clothing expenditures. And he will do that bec he is also still working and he understands that totally.
I guess i'm lucky. I'm 68 and she's 43. Been here going on 3 years and she's wanted children somehow we just haven't had one. And now she's going through menopause so we tried. I met her when she was 38 and she only had that time about two boyfriends. She's amazing! Makes me feel like a king, and that's great at this point in my life
My maternal grandfather was killed in WW2. My grandmother was a Filipina widow with two children living in Cavite City. She met my grandfather who was in the US Navy stationed at NAS Sangley Point at a carinderia she owned and got married. He adopted my mother and uncle and they emigrated to the US. My mother later married and divorced my Filipino father in the US. She met my adoptive father, got married and he adopted me and my two brothers. My adoptive father is retired in Angeles along with me. My partner has two daughters who I treat as my own. That's life and as others have said "To each their own".
Respectfully, I don't think I agree with anything you said. Your comparisons were pretty much strawman arguments. "On one hand you have an 18 year old party girl, on the other hand a solid, hard working, respectful 30 year old'. That's not a valid comparison! A majority of all single mothers on the planet have shown a clear lack of logical decision making. Exceptions exist (i.e. widows) but to expect someone with a history of bad decision making to be reliable and trustworthy is insane to me. Here's a valid comparison: a 25 year old woman with a kid vs a 25 year old woman without a kid. Both will be young looking, but old enough that you can expect adult behavior from them. Both will be hard working and respectful. One of them will prioritize you/your life together, the other one will prioritize her kid. One will cost you money, the other one + her kid will cost you more. There are NO pros dating a single mother. However, if you find a woman you really like and she happens to have a kid, maybe it doesn't matter as much. But there are NO pros at all, only cons.
I do not know your personal circumstances, but I would just like to say that my Filipina wife has an eight-year-old son who I am raising, and I guarantee you that she does prioritize me and her son. She earns money for her son's expenses and is brilliant. I would not live here in the Philippine without her. When I was raising my two children in Canada, I was a work acholic and did not have time to spend with them like I do with my stepson. We read English books together and play cards every day. He is highly intelligent like his mother and a joy to be around. I challenge anyone to try to find a wiser woman. For an older man like me a quality single mother is the only way to go.
@@grandpapeteswordsofwisdom7114 As mentioned, there are always exceptions. I'm very happy for you, really cool it worked out. I'm not going to dig into her or your background (totally none of my business), but instead just say that the exceptions do not disprove the rule. But, I think your final sentence would be more correct without the "an older man like" part, as I doubt too many "older" men (I'm assuming 70+) are too keen on the idea of raising someone else's kid as their energy is starting to diminish. But yeah, obviously: exceptions! I congratulate you and wish you guys nothing but the best!
@@ABetterLifePH Thanks for your kind and respectful words. It is a pleasure to get an intelligent reply. All your points are valid, and I do concede that it is far from easy to find an outstanding woman like I have. I just want older men to realize with a lot of effort and persistence it is possible. However, it is essential to know exactly what you want, how to get it and to know when you have it. It is critical to think positive and avoid being selfish. If you succeed like me, you will feel years younger, lose weight, reduce maintenance medications, and generally be happier. This is not a country to come to if you are older and alone. You need the love of a great Filipina. If you want to live alone stay in your home country.
@@grandpapeteswordsofwisdom7114 I agree with what you say, except that I try to never tell people what they should do, or how they should live their lives. We're all different, want different things etc, although at the same time we're usually quite easily grouped up. On our channel (me/wife) we had a hater for a while, an angry, miserable old man living alone in an apartment in Cebu. So I get your point, I just avoid telling others adults what they should do (yes, I regard politicians as the lowest form of life). I don't personally like the guys that come to the Philippines and move from woman to woman, I find it quite pathetic (especially if they are 60+)...but, it's not my life and my opinion doesn't matter. Picking one, for me perfect, Filipina (without a kid in my case) and building a life with her was what worked for me, and I am glad it worked for you (and you even got a son as part of the package!).
One aspect of dating/marrying single mothers is they have a child. Most of us don't want or can't father children. The vast number of Filipinas want a child. If you can't provide one, they may find a man who can. One of the first questions my GF asked me was why would I want to date a single mother. I answered I might not be able to father a child and I wanted my GF to have had the experience of motherhood. Eventually resentment will grow without having a child and it could explode. JMHO.
The hardest part I believe will be finding a single mother that never been married, but is much more important finding a woman who is mature with a child over the age 8 . Then taking your time to find out if the three or four of you get along well with everyone, that could take a year or more. Rush into more headaches because you didn’t know what to expect. Good luck with whatever you pick . A young beautiful woman with no kids might be lot more fun the first two years but a lot other things can definitely hurt the relationship you’re in together in years to come.
Good advice. Western men have been abused by the single mother culture in the West which is very different than the Philippines. It’s difficult to alter that mindset but trust the knowledge and experience you’ve gained and you’ll find a good partner in other countries.
Give me a good Filipina regardless if she has a child or not, I don’t care; I’ve already raised two stepchildren who I loved and treated just like my own and although I’ve been divorced for over two years and the kids are grown, educated and have families of their own, we still have a good relationship; don’t let your ego get in the way of what could be a great relationship.
There's 2 things that concer me. One, what is the additional cost. I am on a modest budget and can I afford healthcare, education and whatnot. Two, is there an increased chance of retribution if there is a breakup. A single mom, I think, would be more desperate and angry which might lead to BI troubles or extortion.
@68chewy Many Filipinas have used the Ph immigration angle against foreign men….. filipinos as a whole have a mentality “cheat to win” or win by any means necessary! In the past….Filipinas and her relatives have “attempted or successfully” gotten a foreign husband or boyfriend deported after he paid in full a house and lot or new vehicle.
I am in regular conversation with an older Filipina. Her son sends/gives her PHP 10k every month but he will stop doing that when she (re-)marries. So, that will become my duty (giving her PHP 10k each month) IF I am the one who marries her (if and when I follow the ideas of her son). As far as I know and understand her situation, her husband left her and moved to USA. So, technicallky she is still married and cant be "touched" (if you know what I mean). So, marriage is OFF the table. And secondly, why the hell should I get married anyway at my age? What are the pros of getting married 'today' (at my age) and die within 20 years from now? In my country, any boyfriend-girlfriend can do and do the exact same things as a married couple do. Contrary to the Philippines, in my country every baby that is born (even from a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship), is legal and legitimate. Whereas in the Philippines, such a baby is only legal and not legitimate.
My experience date a single mom Filipina woman. She's expect you to take care of her family, especially her parents. My personal experience been horrible. The ones I dated. They was all about the money...
With most expats if they have had children they have most likely grown up. But if you are dating someone in their 20’s or 30’s the likelihood their children is dependable. The large age gap relationship thing isn’t for me personally but each to their own. Children are treated like children for a lot longer in Philippines than in western countries. My wife is in uk she sees her daughter who is 21 on messenger after midnight in 🇵🇭 she’s ringing her up and telling her to go sleep.
Horses for courses....dating a single mom can have its advantages as they are more mature and been through relatioship hardships...i would prefer single mom,as i dont want anymore children.....if i wanted more kids,i wouldnt go single mother...thats just me !
The dangerous part of having a relationship with a 30-year-old single mother is she may be married. The Philippines have some strange laws and it could make you subject to blackmail. Invest in a CENOMAR before you invest in her
Mike, as an older man, I have found few women in their 30s and older who do not have at least one child. If you rule out any women with children, that will you leave a very small dating pool.
Hi guys , ray here I'm letting you I met Jenny when she was a single.mum with 1 child 1 yr old, still together 37 years later , hard work but together we have achieved so much still love her to death,bought our first home when interest rates were 17.5% huge effort to pay it off in 10 years both worked but life leads you to greater things, we have travelled half the world took the little guy with us till he moved out later in life , so just us again was nice to just go somewhere.
Well if I was to date or have her move in with me and she does have a kid . I would want one with a 2 or 3 year old would be fine especially if I was wanting to marry her.that way the child would grow up knowing I was the one to help rase them and I was there dad. More or less. At least they would consider me that way. I have dated an I was married to a single mom that hade kids either in there teens as Mt x wife kid was and if I tried to disaplin them they yell I don't have to listen to you your not my dad. And so on. So I'd rather have the 3 year old then a pre teen or teen.thats just me. If I was looking for that.
I accept the single mom thing. What gives me serious reservations with one in the Philippines is the law that makes it illegal for you to be alone with any minor child that is not a blood relation. I may be willing to pay the bills, but I'm not likely to risk time in a Philippine prison. Because at some point you're almost certain to be alone with the child(ren) and the cop may be having a bad day.
@@mikesphilippineretirement haven't read the law, not a lawyer but my understanding is you don't have to do anything other than be in proximity to the child. You could fall asleep watching TV, the child is napping in the other room, and the mother is called away for some emergency. You are now breaking the law. How would the police even know? I don't know but it's a possibility however unlikely.
The law is RA 7610 Article IV Section 10 (b) Any person who shall keep or have in his company a minor, twelve (12) years or under or who in ten (10) years or more his junior in any public or private place, hotel, motel, beer joint, discotheque, cabaret, pension house, sauna or massage parlor, beach and/or other tourist resort or similar places shall suffer the penalty of prison mayor in its maximum period and a fine of not less than Fifty thousand pesos (P50,000): Provided, That this provision shall not apply to any person who is related within the fourth degree of consanguinity or affinity or any bond recognized by law, local custom and tradition or acts in the performance of a social, moral or legal duty.
Difficult topic, but glad a cleveland man is covering it. I think both sides should be striving for realistic explanations: no way you slice it, a single mom has a buit in liability, in the same way a very old man is a liability to a young woman. If you have never been married or had kids, have decent to good means and are generally normal, settling for a single mom should be an impossiblity unless she is EXCEPTIONAL. On the flip side, expats travelling to asia, expect model level no kid women who will do everything you want. There should be a balance but the standard should not decrease no matter the location. I would expect most should be able to find better there than home.
Well, shucks, y'all! When it comes to them Filipina moms, they sure do like snugglin' up with their young'uns, but hey, that's just how they do things down in South East Asia. Now, if you hitch yourself a Vietnamese gal and start a family, it's pretty much the same deal. Ain't nothin' wrong with that 'cause when it's bedtime, you're there to catch some shut-eye, not go at it all night long. Once them kiddos are snoozin', you and your lady friend can sneak off for a little private time, then let her go back to tuck in the young'uns, and you can have that big ol' bed all to yourself. Now, ain't that just the bee's knees? A peaceful night's sleep, no fuss or muss, just you and the sound of the crickets outside. Ah, that's livin', ain't it?
I can see how the right single mother Filipina could be an amazing choice for older expats who like children. Never ever would suggest anyone get involved with an American single mother in almost every case a total train wreck! I know from experience.
Children are much easier once they are 6 or 7 years old By 9 or 10, they are 80% self sufficient. There are many good single moms in the Phillipines. It might cost u an extra $100 a week, an insignificant amount for many foreigners.
If I retire in the Philippines I'd never have a relationship. Street girls for the rest of my life. I'd come to relax not have a childcare job. Not to mention the financial obligation. Rent everything even the girls. I want to enjoy life not start one.
How i can say with my only 3 years experience here is if you do live a lifestyle like that please make sure you're protected you don't know what's a street girls been doing. And believe me hospitalization here is not good!
50+ million Filipinas. There are enough exceptions to cover a few thousand foreigners. But a lot of foreigners seem to either want or don't mind having kids (of their own). To each their own, but of course there are lots of exceptions.
Most of the older guys in the Philippines with single moms around age 30 are only dealing today with young kids. How many of those guys will even want to make the effort to stay in their relationship with that mom when she’s 45 to 50, & her adolescent, entitled, lazy brat is butting his/her head with the mom, asking for money & gifts, & showing next to no respect to his well over-70 year-old non-father? Single moms may be tolerable at the start. But wait till the kid hits the terrible teens - & after. Unless the non-dad is hoping to croak before that unpalatable event.
Well, now, listen up, y'all! The reason a fella thinks a Filipina mom puts him last is 'cause he's puttin' himself first. What choice does she have, I reckon? She needs a man who puts his family first, that's the key to findin' the love he's been seekin'. Them moms done made a heap of sacrifices in life, can't be actin' like they're back in high school. So why'd a man think he oughta be worshipped, runnin' 'round playin' billiards, gettin' drunk, and chasin' women? If you love a woman with a child, then by golly, you gotta love that child, too. A family that sticks together is a happy family, no two ways about it. If the only reason you fancy her is 'cause she looks sexy, well then, you best keep on bar finnin' 'til you're grown up enough to put others before yourself. Family is the Filipino way, so either embrace it or head on down to Walking Street.
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x Family is big anywhere you go in South East Asia much more so then in the west. The dad is usually a young man who promises the girl she is everything he ever wanted then when she says I’m pregnant his family way stays with his family not hers. A good man takes responsibility. If you with a Filipina mom in a serious relationship then be a family that takes care each other. Men think they’re studs and explores and women are some game they play because they simply haven’t the strength to handle the reality and truth . They think me first. Foreigners they they got the money, they got the brains, they got the booze and they are getting the women usually by pretending they are interested in them but in truth they are interested in all of them that looks like eye candy. The Filipino way is a family oriented way it just doesn’t carry over in making new families often due to poverty, drunkenness, and nobody using protection before sex. The woman knows if she doesn’t give her boyfriend sex he will leave her. If she doesn’t give her foreigner sex he will leave her so some become scammers so you don’t need to leave her she will leave you when she gets what she wants from you.
@@attadeal3130 You’re blaming men (both Pinay and Cano) while portraying the Filipina as a victim. First off, poverty makes a family stronger not less. Second, I doubt drunkenness is that common among young men and if it is then why are the women choosing to be with them? Does this not reflect upon their judgement? Third you say that Cano are pigs and womanizers so again she is a victim. Finally (your argument) she becomes a scammer because boo-hoo all these bad men mistreating her. The equation doesn’t add up.
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x Like it or not the men are the most common culprit. That doesn’t mean all women are good. If you ever been to South East Asia you would know that drinking and smoking are common with the men. Poverty also has a hand in that. Just like it was in America like in the Coalfields of West Virginia the people were poor the life was hard and grandma had to send her oldest son to meet grandpa on payday otherwise he would spend it all in the pub after he had a round or two in him. Men often drink beat the crap out of the wife or simply can’t leave other women alone. Often they can’t handle poverty.
Their are single moms the world over, and many men in multiple countries bounce out not just a philippines problem, and guess what single moms in usa have kids sleeping in their bed at 8 9 or 10 years of age. And yes many women their if have kids are domestic partners and responsible. Also in the Philippines something you did not mention is age and family hardships in getting a job it's hard for a mom with a kid to work if not living with family
my wife was a 27, almost 28 years old VIRGIN when we got married. she taught SUNDAY SCHOOL TO THE LITTLE KIDS AT HER UNCLES CHURCH!! I INSPECTED THE HYMEN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, I HAD A CONDO AND WANTED HER TO PROVE HER VIRTUE , because if she was NOT, then i should be getting some like the last guy did! she had never even dated !!! never even been kissed!!! so i have proof there are 27 year old VIRGINS!!!
You can’t judge a Filipina for her parents raising her kids while she works abroad like you do the US. The mother is not happy about this but she has to feed her kids .
Just my two cents is the quality of a woman doesn’t depends on if she is a single mom or not. Once a guy falls in love with her it’s totally 💯 percent irrelevant that she’s a single mom. They can be the greatest mate on earth. We all have a past as adults. I personally don’t think a stigma should be put on single women. Because it’s a double standard . Great talk topic and thank you kindly for sharing.👌🏾
I would be skeptical of any Filipina who would agree to have her children raised by family members. No way would my wife not want her child with her regularly. Talking about farming out a child to relatives' smacks of selfishness when there is an alternative.
If you want a single mother , there are a hundred on any dating app who are looking for a man who's breathing. That's the only prerequisite. Just pick the one you want.
I'd rather marry a single mother over a young girl that's just waiting for me to die and get anything she can before moving on to the next geriatric to come by.
@@mikesphilippineretirement Why would a man want to support another man' kid. Every time you see the kid you are reminded of her sexual adventures with another man. Ps I am not a hater. Maybe you don't understand my thinking
Sorry I'd be scared of the ex/dad/nosey neighbours who report you! I've seen too many videos including from Filipino Peas friend & lawyer stating that it is against the law to be alone with a child that isn't yours, even if there are no additional accusations. Perhaps I could not be with that single mum unless her parents raise the child and I am NEVER ALONE WITH THAT CHILD! Yes that law scares me!
@mikesphilippineretirement 56 yr old don't want to be a ladies boss. Who's duties are cooking and cleaning. Why not try to move into the 21st century for that matter why not even the 1980's mike? The way you talk is ridiculous about women and their roles....and you should know so. We can debate this till the cows come home old man. Not cool treat them like humans not work servants who put out
If you think that you’re gonna go to the Philippines and find a beautiful young Filipina who either don’t already have a child or don’t want to have any, you’re delusional.
From all these youtube videos single moms tend to be more mature and responsible. Who wants a twenty something. Thats a little girl to me. I like plus 30 i like a woman not a little girl...
@mikesphilippineretirement And plus every guy is running after like 1 or 2 perfect 10's. Now theirs a power flip. The girl knows this and ends up taking the guy for all he's got. And rightfully so he gets what he deserves...
I met a 40 something pinay who's 15 year 0ld son sleeps in bed with her still, the boy can't sleep unless mom rubs his head at night, i know that boy is not having me coming in to his moms life
Dating a single mom. You can’t help who you fall in love with. But a big but if the woman has a child or children you’ll come last. I don’t like that I want to come first. I also like to travel with children you can’t travel. So for me a girlfriend or wife can’t have kids. Good luck to the men or can I say saints that take on a woman with kids. To each their own.
If an American Women had kids who you come first in that relationship?
Exactly I am retired and I would never raise another man’s child. Your so correct you will always come second an can you imagine being 75 kicking a ball around a park no thanks
@@mikesphilippineretirement in any relationship with a woman with kids. It has nothing to do with if the woman is a Filipina.
Good for you. You will get flamed for your comment. But I agree with you 100 percent.
I just finished a relationship with a woman, even moved her, and her son (he is 3 years old), into my home. It lasted 6 months. When it was just the two of us, it was great. But as soon as they moved in, her priorities changed from me to her son. If I am paying all the bills, providing everything they need, then I will be at the top of the priority list. It is not ever going to happen if she has kids. Any man who has reached retirement age has already done “the kid thing” with his OWN children. Raising another man’s children will never match that plus I earned my time now so the last thing I will do is use my time on a child where it does not benefit me. The best arrangement I have found is she lives in her home and I live in mine. When we see each other it is just the two of us.
"You're not my Dad" Something no man wants to hear for 18+ yrs
yes that can be tough
While it may be true that they tend to say
“you’re not my Dad” during those early years, if you’ve been a good father to the child, when they come of age, they realize how good you were to them.
Being a stepfather is a thankless job who’s reward comes in Heaven.
Don't forget "you're not his father"
@@robertclaus1102 -I know not all kids say that, but why take the chance.
My response would be you are correct I am not your father. But I am the one who allows you to share my home. So if you can not respect my home, my authority and my expectations then let’s go talk to your mother and see what she thinks? If she does not fully support me as the authority figure in the home then she and her child can go live somewhere else. Without the mother fully committed with me it won’t work.
Glad you’re covering this one Mike
Thanks Alex
My philosophy is just say no.
No is good no promises made
Thank you for this great content Mike! Expats need to think about what kind of lifestyle they are seeking and then be mindful of the incompatibles that are involved like travel with young children.
I really like your office for your studio too!
thank you
Many Single Moms were abandoned by the Father of the child, as they were very young, and not mature enough to be a father. I have seen it happen here in my part of the US. The Family usually helps out a great deal here, so the situation can be anywhere when I was growing up in the 60’s and early 70’s. I agree the positives, and the knowing what kind of girl she is, early in the relationship. The red flags will show up, it’s up to you to clearly see them.
Thanks For Sharing Steve
I did not want to raise somebody child that was not mine and found out if I was looking for someone even in their 30's as I was 47, they all had children. I ended up finding a Filipina girl that was 21 years old, when I met her, and it has worked out well for me. Have been married for 25 years now.
happy it all work out and your happy Bruce
Did she not want kids?
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x She wanted about 25, but only for part of the day. She is a school teacher. It is difficult to have a job like that and stay home with your own. I told her about my vasectomy before I even went to meet her, she was fine with that. That worked out well with her career ambition.
@@BruceCinader Thanks for the info. I’ve been thinking about getting snipped before I go over there.
I would never have kids at my age in America (cost of living is too much) but undecided on PH kids since I’d leave them with good finances.
I think having strong family support is ideal in this situation. Being a role model/mentor can be very rewarding for everyone involved when it works out. Fingers crossed.
hope for the best. Thanks ken
Bob hooking up with a single mom has nothing to do with it. The problem was how Bob handled the situation
I agree with that
Worked great for me. My wife was a single mom. Best woman i ever met. She is very responsible, loving, respectful, caring, hard working and the best mother and wife a man could ask for. Super loyal and doesn't drink or smoke. I think single moms in the Philippines make the best wives because they are more mature, appreciate a good man and are more faithful. Love my filipina wife
happy it has worked out for you
Well certainly it can work to each his own
It's good that you're covering this topic. But let's face it, we are all adults, and we all know what happens in life. It is good to just remind people of these facts, but everyone makes their own decisions for their own reasons, and everyone must face the consequences of their own actions. Yes, I know, some guys let their little head do all their thinking, and that's unfortunate. And many young Filipinas are more than willing to have a baby with a western foreigner. That's just life in the Philippines, and until they can get out from under the influence of the Catholic Church, it's never going to change
something each man must decide what is best for him
My gf is 25 ..has a one year old who does not sleep in the same bed ...
lucky you
If I ever met someone to be "my girl" again, my checklist only has two criteria. I have to truly believe that she cares about me for just being me and that she has truly opened her heart to me. The true unicorn. If I can not have that, I will gladly remain forever alone.
keep looking she may be closer than you think. Best of luck
@mikesphilippineretirement We have met. It was at our last "bring your girl" night dinner at Speed Racer. I was one of the very few of us who had been here some time now and remained alone. If you ever see me at one of our get expat dinners with a lady, it will only be because I think I may have found "the one."
For 4 months, I have been slowly getting to know a girl here. So far, she has passed every shit test known to man with flying colors.
I will never publicly discuss specifics, as I would never risk embarrassing her. To date, she is simply a good friend. I have asked her to join me at one of our gathering of angels next week. If you see me with her, it is because it will be my intention to see where this can go. She may be "the one."
@@mikesphilippineretirement true, I've met a lot of good single women in the Philippines.
I believe that I said this in my initial interview with you; when I accepted my 40-something Wife, I accepted her teen Daughter, too. It was a package deal! In fact, not only did I propose to my Wife, but also proposed to my Stepdaughter!
She had never had much of a relationship with her biological father, and I'm the first caring, Loving Dad she's known.
I was raised by a Step-father, and learned that true Love and caring doesn't have to be dependent on biological factors!
We've had that conversation.
Now that my Daughter is currently sick, we're putting her health and recovery first priority. Plans we had this week, weekend and next week can wait. But as I told the Doctor, 'I don't want a temporary fix to her health issues. I want a permanent cure, and I don't care what it takes!'
I know that you would do the same.
Finding a mature Filipina without children is like hunting unicorns. Accept the child with all your heart, and life gives back happiness and Love doubly! ❤️
Thanks, Kuya Mike 👍
Thanks for sharing again Jerry
Hi Mike 👍 Many good points on dating a Philippine woman with a Child. Thanks ❤
Thanks Herb
Whether the child is yours or not, you will always be second priority to the mother. The East-West comparison is not equal. Pinoy men run away. Only sometimes there is child support. In the West, men are held accountable by a court of law if there's a DNA match.
On the other hand; when you're 60+ and have a 20 something woman in your life that wants children, consider the notion that those children would not be for you, but rather for her after you have passed on and she survives you in her 40s. If you can handle it emotionally and financially, those children can be a blessing for her after you're gone, instead of her being childless with reduced chances of finding another partner. Bedroom activity won't be any less whether there's a baby or young child sleeping in the same room or not. That's normal in PI.
Another man's child? Entirely up to you. Consider yourself a guide only. Don't buy their love. Make sure you're never alone with that child. There can be legal implications.
Thanks for sharing kuya
QQQ You said be cautious dating a girl who recently had a baby 6 months old. Where would the father of the child be? Wouldn't the father be in the baby's life?
All the cases I know (a single Filipina mom), the guy (pinoy/Filipino) left her somewhere between when she was pregnant or after giving birth or not much later.
I honestly think, it was not his intentions to make her pregnant (most Philippine people have no clue about the how and what of how babies are really made). I think he only was there (with her) for getting his first experiences and she allowed it to happen. It is so simple to avoid getting pregnant but most (if not all) dont get any sex-ed. Because when it is really explained how babies are made (ovulation, egg cell, sperm cell, menstruation) it will ruin the image that god has a hand in that process.("babies are a gift from god", "its a blessing".
That is why many Philippine people will say "bahala na" after they had unprotected sex.
in most cases no he will not be in the child's life
@@mikesphilippineretirement sad
The manosphere/red pill community is awakening men to the disadvantages dating single mothers. "being a stepfather is a thankless job" Kevin Samuels.. of course everything is different when you're above 55
explain why it is different
@@mikesphilippineretirement just like you stated. The difference is when you're in your mid 50s or older most of the time it's impractical to be with someone in their late teens and early '20s before they start having children. It can be done. But most couple struggle with 30, 40, 50 year age gaps. So understandably being with a woman in her thirties with children is practical. Although He must always keep in mind the pitfalls of being a stepfather.
I agree with you Mike, a single mom is the best, I am 62 and my wife is 48, we both have older kids, advantage, we have good talk and understanding about them, just make shure that you are no santa, support studies etc but not a monthly allowance ( makes them lazy) guide them to stand on their own feet, be a life consultant
You make some good points
Great advise If a women is quick to abandon her child be assured she will let you go faster. You can tell a women’s character by the way she parents her child. If you are only looking for fun and games and a paid traveling companion stick to the bar girls
good point Nancy
Totally agree. If you want a good woman, take a look how she is with her children, her mother and father, siblings and especially her dog. Old order Amish women choose a husband based on how he treats his horse.
just stay single
When the guy is under the age of 40….Pros: Nothing; Cons: financial obligations, baby daddy, etc.
Thanks for sharing
Good video thanks mike
you're welcome
I think you’re right about single women positives far outweigh the negatives. I’ve been with my Filipina for 4 1/2 years now has one child and the family takes care of her. My girlfriend sees the family often and she is very close to daughter. Good luck
Thanks for watching and sharing your comment
I think the philippines have a 5 year cohabitation law. You might be legally on the hook after 5 years. Research the law
@@Imold774 sounds like bullshi# do not even spread that rumor . If courts here do not make fathers ( deadbeats ) pay any support for 6 kids and the government here will hit me with a Cohabitation law , no way .
If , if they ever did , how many Filipinas have the cash for a lawyer , jow many know the process ro file the papers or are even able to get to theses offices .
Than catch me if you can , i could have lawyer stall them for years
Interesting topic.
When I met Jessa she was a single mom........ but, I was also a single dad.
I was raising my son alone for reasons I would rather not get into.
I became dad for her son when he didn't have one and she stepped up and became a mom to my son when he was at that point in his life when he needed a mom at that stage in his life.
She would come to Ireland for 3 months as a tourist and would fetch him from high school which was 10 miles away.
He was extremely proud to tell his school mates "that's my mother"
So that's the other side. The side that's seldom spoken about.
We now have a daughter together and at least 3 times every week she will video call her kuya Gerard in ireland and he visits here 2 or 3 times every year and she is proud to show her school mates her 6ft western kuya.
It has gone full circle
Sometimes things just work out better than you could ever have imagined
There's another side to dating someone with kids. Over time, you will probably learn to love them as much as you would if they were your own. But if the relationship ends for whatever reason, you lose not only her but the kids too because you have no rights, legal or otherwise, where those children are concerned.
great point
I raised two boys who were not my own here in the states. Family means much more than blood relations.
Exactly
Thanks for sharing that Stan
I raised 4 kids (2 biological and 2 non-Biological). There is a big difference regardless of what people say. It's a lot of work raising kids and if they are not yours it is much harder.
A man from the west over 50 should leave the childless Filipinas under 30 for younger men who they can grow old with.
When you marry a Filipina who has 1,2,3 kids you are making an incredible difference in their lives.
I mean no disrespect but 99.9% of the single mothers I met in the Philippines were poor and struggling.
You, with even a modest income from the west, can lift her and her children up out of poverty.
You are giving her a better life than she would otherwise have and giving those children a chance of breaking the cycle of poverty.
A “Real” man can love them, raise them, and guide them in ways they would never experience being raised by a single mother.
As for people commenting about raising another man’s child or being told “you’re not my father”, stop being a narcissist.
It’s not the children’s fault that their “real” father abandoned them and their mother or died.
They are innocent and have need of a “Real” man in their lives.
Raise them to be kind and compassionate to others, especially to children, who are not theirs.
All of that is especially important to consider if you have already raised your own children.
Also, remember if her child(ren) are older than 3 or 4 you get to skip the years of diapers, crying, sleepless nights etc. 😅.
thanks for sharing
You have a marvelous attitude. I totally agree with you.
From my experiences in the Philippines, your information is correct. Your viewers can assume this is accurate. Single moms can make great spouses, they've seen the hard times & appreciates a good man.
Thanks for sharing
Get the old maid no husband no kids and financially stable. Or single at 30's most filipina are late to marry or don't want to be married they are financial stable or capable independent one.
Not all he said is true the educated and middle class is no kids and not married. Not all elite and middle class who lives in Metro Manila is wild that is wrong try to go to bar resto or disco at provinces. In my 40's is my first to partying. You want the single mom with they are ready to do live in arrangement but the more educated and middle class or elite are smart Not all you said is correct. In Metro Manila you can find the nicest and reserved one. You like the domestic one and looking for
The kids are so entertaining its worth their expense!
Met my wife in HK where she was a single mum, working as a Domestic Helper, to support her 3 Yr old son and family. Together 6 years before we got married, during which I helped out with the son. After we wed in HK I adopted John, her son and we brought him to HK and put him through international schools. He's now 28 and running a restaurant at the Sheraton hotel in HK. Now it wasn't easy at times having a young kid always in tow, but the good times far outweighed the bad. No regrets. I'm obviously a glutton for punishment as since then we adopted her two nieces after her sister died at 28yrs old. They are now 20 and 17. I retire end of September and we look forward to to moving to our bungalow home in Isabela. Best thing I ever did. Single mums are very honest, open books and grateful that they have someone who looks after them. ❤
Nice video Mike! Better coming from a man already in a good relationship
Thank you my friend
Honest expatriate in the Philippines 🙏
Thank you
Based on what I see with Chad and Ann, it’s no big deal. Maybe a little extra to send to the grandparents raising the kids and visit the province once or twice a year. Can’t name all the other single Filipina moms dating expats I see but most of them operate that way. Mike seems to be the exception letting the kid stay with them.
I see many with the children but the family lives close. On the other hand lots seem to have her kids with the family. What ever works best is the right way to go
@@mikesphilippineretirement honestly , i would have be like you when it comes the kids. I can’t get my head around that part of the culture. If I’m marrying her, kids stay with mom and me.
OH------- IO. GO Browns. Cleveland/Columbus, Ohio. Great content!
thanks
Asian men (which includes Filipinos) are often traditional and are reluctant to accept a divorced partner with a child or single mom. They are also very against raising another mans child.
Filipinas bring part of Asian culture often becomes rejected by filipino men if she becomes a single mom…the best option for women in this situation is to seek a non Asian guy.
Thats why you see tons of Filipinas (single moms) on dating sites seeking a guy from a western country eg Europe, Canada or US. Some western guys have a different mind set and are more open to a relationship with a single mom
thanks for the info
The Filipino men haven't been socialized by feminism
I am from Europe and i disagree with you. That kid has NOT my genes and not OUR genes. And every day when I see that kid, it reminds me of her previous relationship/marriage. And she expects me to fund all that, what was so easy to prevend from happening? I dont mind her having sex before she got married or before she met me. I am NOT interested in a virgin. But I am not gonna spend my money and my valuable time and effort in raising a kid that is not OURS. And besides, in my neck of the woods we raise kids way differently. We raise them to be independent and to be critical. That are 2 traits that are frowned upon in the Philippoines.
Europe is way different than USA. A single mom with a kid, is still working and the kid is in day-care. The new boyfriend has no responsibilty towards the kid whatsoever bec the kid will NOT allow it. The kid knows damn well the new boyfriend is NOT his biological father. And so the new boyfriend has a hard time, to win over the kid's trust and love. Futhermore, kids in Europe will have their own bedroom from a very young age onwards. On odd or even weeks (or weekends), the kid is usually with the biological father. And kids are raised (in Europe) to be critical thinkers and to be independent. So in all, the situation in Europe is very different compared to USA (and to the Philippines).
no responsibility what if he has the girl move in with him and she brings the kids. Does he not have to supply him a bed. water, food there is always some responsibility when a child is involved
@@mikesphilippineretirementthe ma always has responsibilities. But he won't have the authority of a father.
@@mikesphilippineretirement,
No Sir Mike, even when she moves in with him or he moves in with her. The mother wont allow it and the kid wont allow it. Yes, sure the bed. But the rest is all the mother's responsibilities. Its HER kid with her genes (and genes from the biological father). Hence, my remark, that (western-)Europe is different.
@@ericjames7819,
Correct, mother's responsibilty and the new guy (new father) no authority whatsoever
@@mikesphilippineretirement,
let me try to explain it in more detail:
Situation 1: a woman with kid moves in with him (he has no kid(s) or with kid(s))
The woman is expected to pay/contribute for the extra water usage, electricity, food, clothing expenditures. And she will do that bec she is still working and she understands that totally.
Situation 2: the man (with kid(s)) moves in with woman with kid(s)
The man is expected to pay/contribute for the extra water usage, electricity, food, clothing expenditures. And he will do that bec he is also still working and he understands that totally.
I guess i'm lucky. I'm 68 and she's 43. Been here going on 3 years and she's wanted children somehow we just haven't had one. And now she's going through menopause so we tried. I met her when she was 38 and she only had that time about two boyfriends. She's amazing! Makes me feel like a king, and that's great at this point in my life
My maternal grandfather was killed in WW2. My grandmother was a Filipina widow with two children living in Cavite City. She met my grandfather who was in the US Navy stationed at NAS Sangley Point at a carinderia she owned and got married. He adopted my mother and uncle and they emigrated to the US. My mother later married and divorced my Filipino father in the US. She met my adoptive father, got married and he adopted me and my two brothers. My adoptive father is retired in Angeles along with me. My partner has two daughters who I treat as my own. That's life and as others have said "To each their own".
Respectfully, I don't think I agree with anything you said. Your comparisons were pretty much strawman arguments. "On one hand you have an 18 year old party girl, on the other hand a solid, hard working, respectful 30 year old'. That's not a valid comparison!
A majority of all single mothers on the planet have shown a clear lack of logical decision making. Exceptions exist (i.e. widows) but to expect someone with a history of bad decision making to be reliable and trustworthy is insane to me.
Here's a valid comparison: a 25 year old woman with a kid vs a 25 year old woman without a kid. Both will be young looking, but old enough that you can expect adult behavior from them. Both will be hard working and respectful. One of them will prioritize you/your life together, the other one will prioritize her kid. One will cost you money, the other one + her kid will cost you more.
There are NO pros dating a single mother. However, if you find a woman you really like and she happens to have a kid, maybe it doesn't matter as much. But there are NO pros at all, only cons.
I do not know your personal circumstances, but I would just like to say that my Filipina wife has an eight-year-old son who I am raising, and I guarantee you that she does prioritize me and her son. She earns money for her son's expenses and is brilliant. I would not live here in the Philippine without her. When I was raising my two children in Canada, I was a work acholic and did not have time to spend with them like I do with my stepson. We read English books together and play cards every day. He is highly intelligent like his mother and a joy to be around. I challenge anyone to try to find a wiser woman. For an older man like me a quality single mother is the only way to go.
@@grandpapeteswordsofwisdom7114 As mentioned, there are always exceptions. I'm very happy for you, really cool it worked out. I'm not going to dig into her or your background (totally none of my business), but instead just say that the exceptions do not disprove the rule.
But, I think your final sentence would be more correct without the "an older man like" part, as I doubt too many "older" men (I'm assuming 70+) are too keen on the idea of raising someone else's kid as their energy is starting to diminish. But yeah, obviously: exceptions! I congratulate you and wish you guys nothing but the best!
@@ABetterLifePH Thanks for your kind and respectful words. It is a pleasure to get an intelligent reply. All your points are valid, and I do concede that it is far from easy to find an outstanding woman like I have. I just want older men to realize with a lot of effort and persistence it is possible. However, it is essential to know exactly what you want, how to get it and to know when you have it. It is critical to think positive and avoid being selfish. If you succeed like me, you will feel years younger, lose weight, reduce maintenance medications, and generally be happier. This is not a country to come to if you are older and alone. You need the love of a great Filipina. If you want to live alone stay in your home country.
@@grandpapeteswordsofwisdom7114 I agree with what you say, except that I try to never tell people what they should do, or how they should live their lives. We're all different, want different things etc, although at the same time we're usually quite easily grouped up. On our channel (me/wife) we had a hater for a while, an angry, miserable old man living alone in an apartment in Cebu. So I get your point, I just avoid telling others adults what they should do (yes, I regard politicians as the lowest form of life).
I don't personally like the guys that come to the Philippines and move from woman to woman, I find it quite pathetic (especially if they are 60+)...but, it's not my life and my opinion doesn't matter. Picking one, for me perfect, Filipina (without a kid in my case) and building a life with her was what worked for me, and I am glad it worked for you (and you even got a son as part of the package!).
One aspect of dating/marrying single mothers is they have a child. Most of us don't want or can't father children. The vast number of Filipinas want a child. If you can't provide one, they may find a man who can. One of the first questions my GF asked me was why would I want to date a single mother. I answered I might not be able to father a child and I wanted my GF to have had the experience of motherhood. Eventually resentment will grow without having a child and it could explode. JMHO.
Thanks for sharing Jeffery
The hardest part I believe will be finding a single mother that never been married, but is much more important finding a woman who is mature with a child over the age 8 . Then taking your time to find out if the three or four of you get along well with everyone, that could take a year or more. Rush into more headaches because you didn’t know what to expect. Good luck with whatever you pick . A young beautiful woman with no kids might be lot more fun the first two years but a lot other things can definitely hurt the relationship you’re in together in years to come.
well said
Good advice. Western men have been abused by the single mother culture in the West which is very different than the Philippines. It’s difficult to alter that mindset but trust the knowledge and experience you’ve gained and you’ll find a good partner in other countries.
Thanks for sharing
A wise man fearith, and depart from evil, but the fool rageth, and is confident! Prov 14:16
Thanks for sharing
Give me a good Filipina regardless if she has a child or not, I don’t care; I’ve already raised two stepchildren who I loved and treated just like my own and although I’ve been divorced for over two years and the kids are grown, educated and have families of their own, we still have a good relationship; don’t let your ego get in the way of what could be a great relationship.
good point
So you’re ok with divorce. What was the point of marriage then?
I am a 63 year man that been dating a 50 single mom with 4 kids the oldest is. 25 and the youngest is 11. And it great
happy to hear that
There's 2 things that concer me. One, what is the additional cost. I am on a modest budget and can I afford healthcare, education and whatnot. Two, is there an increased chance of retribution if there is a breakup. A single mom, I think, would be more desperate and angry which might lead to BI troubles or extortion.
@68chewy
Many Filipinas have used the Ph immigration angle against foreign men…..
filipinos as a whole have a mentality “cheat to win” or win by any means necessary!
In the past….Filipinas and her relatives have “attempted or successfully” gotten a foreign husband or boyfriend deported after he paid in full a house and lot or new vehicle.
Thanks for sharing
I am in regular conversation with an older Filipina. Her son sends/gives her PHP 10k every month but he will stop doing that when she (re-)marries. So, that will become my duty (giving her PHP 10k each month) IF I am the one who marries her (if and when I follow the ideas of her son). As far as I know and understand her situation, her husband left her and moved to USA. So, technicallky she is still married and cant be "touched" (if you know what I mean). So, marriage is OFF the table. And secondly, why the hell should I get married anyway at my age? What are the pros of getting married 'today' (at my age) and die within 20 years from now? In my country, any boyfriend-girlfriend can do and do the exact same things as a married couple do. Contrary to the Philippines, in my country every baby that is born (even from a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship), is legal and legitimate. Whereas in the Philippines, such a baby is only legal and not legitimate.
Thanks for sharing your comment and story
My experience date a single mom Filipina woman. She's expect you to take care of her family, especially her parents. My personal experience been horrible. The ones I dated. They was all about the money...
With most expats if they have had children they have most likely grown up. But if you are dating someone in their 20’s or 30’s the likelihood their children is dependable. The large age gap relationship thing isn’t for me personally but each to their own.
Children are treated like children for a lot longer in Philippines than in western countries. My wife is in uk she sees her daughter who is 21 on messenger after midnight in 🇵🇭 she’s ringing her up and telling her to go sleep.
Thanks for sharing
Horses for courses....dating a single mom can have its advantages as they are more mature and been through relatioship hardships...i would prefer single mom,as i dont want anymore children.....if i wanted more kids,i wouldnt go single mother...thats just me !
Thanks for sharing
🙏🏼
thank you
Hello Linda here from Maryland
Hello there! Linda
Prefer a single mom especially in my 50s ❤
Kids add a lot to your life and there are plenty of relatives who can stay with the child when you want to travel.
yes
The dangerous part of having a relationship with a 30-year-old single mother is she may be married. The Philippines have some strange laws and it could make you subject to blackmail. Invest in a CENOMAR before you invest in her
Don't forget the born again virgins
many of the born again type
My wife 43 year old Virgin, Massive catholic considerd an old maid, Well she Amazing. Amen Every women Different 8 year Gap
Thanks for sharing
Mike, as an older man, I have found few women in their 30s and older who do not have at least one child. If you rule out any women with children, that will you leave a very small dating pool.
Hi guys , ray here I'm letting you I met Jenny when she was a single.mum with 1 child 1 yr old, still together 37 years later , hard work but together we have achieved so much still love her to death,bought our first home when interest rates were 17.5% huge effort to pay it off in 10 years both worked but life leads you to greater things, we have travelled half the world took the little guy with us till he moved out later in life , so just us again was nice to just go somewhere.
Thanks for sharing Ray
ofw be better choice they understand money
Well if I was to date or have her move in with me and she does have a kid . I would want one with a 2 or 3 year old would be fine especially if I was wanting to marry her.that way the child would grow up knowing I was the one to help rase them and I was there dad. More or less. At least they would consider me that way.
I have dated an I was married to a single mom that hade kids either in there teens as Mt x wife kid was and if I tried to disaplin them they yell I don't have to listen to you your not my dad. And so on. So I'd rather have the 3 year old then a pre teen or teen.thats just me. If I was looking for that.
Thanks for sharing David
Good morning from Don and Chi! WAP here means "Wet As Philippines", haha!
Morning!
A woman knows the value of a dollar? Haha that’s funny!
explain why that is funny?
Dying alone and miserable is prefarable to dating a single mom
enjoy your life and may you not die alone
No thanks, with millions of single women in PI, not interested in finishing another mans project.
you will find the perfect girl
@@mikesphilippineretirement -I know i'm not perfect, I just want to have as little drama as possible when I start a relationship
Right on I will not be a step up dad, I will not SIMP
It’s not a project, dude, it’s life, real life.
@@mikesphilippineretirementI feel sure that you said that with tongue in cheek🤗
I accept the single mom thing. What gives me serious reservations with one in the Philippines is the law that makes it illegal for you to be alone with any minor child that is not a blood relation. I may be willing to pay the bills, but I'm not likely to risk time in a Philippine prison. Because at some point you're almost certain to be alone with the child(ren) and the cop may be having a bad day.
if your not doing anything wrong it does not apply to you
@@mikesphilippineretirement haven't read the law, not a lawyer but my understanding is you don't have to do anything other than be in proximity to the child. You could fall asleep watching TV, the child is napping in the other room, and the mother is called away for some emergency. You are now breaking the law. How would the police even know? I don't know but it's a possibility however unlikely.
The law is RA 7610 Article IV Section 10 (b) Any person who shall keep or have in his company a minor, twelve (12) years or under or who in ten (10) years or more his junior in any public or private place, hotel, motel, beer joint, discotheque, cabaret, pension house, sauna or massage parlor, beach and/or other tourist resort or similar places shall suffer the penalty of prison mayor in its maximum period and a fine of not less than Fifty thousand pesos (P50,000): Provided, That this provision shall not apply to any person who is related within the fourth degree of consanguinity or affinity or any bond recognized by law, local custom and tradition or acts in the performance of a social, moral or legal duty.
Difficult topic, but glad a cleveland man is covering it.
I think both sides should be striving for realistic explanations: no way you slice it, a single mom has a buit in liability, in the same way a very old man is a liability to a young woman.
If you have never been married or had kids, have decent to good means and are generally normal, settling for a single mom should be an impossiblity unless she is EXCEPTIONAL.
On the flip side, expats travelling to asia, expect model level no kid women who will do everything you want. There should be a balance but the standard should not decrease no matter the location. I would expect most should be able to find better there than home.
Thanks for sharing
stay away from single moms you never be the kids dad
Well, shucks, y'all! When it comes to them Filipina moms, they sure do like snugglin' up with their young'uns, but hey, that's just how they do things down in South East Asia. Now, if you hitch yourself a Vietnamese gal and start a family, it's pretty much the same deal. Ain't nothin' wrong with that 'cause when it's bedtime, you're there to catch some shut-eye, not go at it all night long.
Once them kiddos are snoozin', you and your lady friend can sneak off for a little private time, then let her go back to tuck in the young'uns, and you can have that big ol' bed all to yourself. Now, ain't that just the bee's knees? A peaceful night's sleep, no fuss or muss, just you and the sound of the crickets outside. Ah, that's livin', ain't it?
Thanks for sharing David
I can see how the right single mother Filipina could be an amazing choice for older expats who like children.
Never ever would suggest anyone get involved with an American single mother in almost every case a total train wreck! I know from experience.
Children are much easier once they are 6 or 7 years old By 9 or 10, they are 80% self sufficient. There are many good single moms in the Phillipines. It might cost u an extra $100 a week, an insignificant amount for many foreigners.
Thanks for sharing
If I retire in the Philippines I'd never have a relationship. Street girls for the rest of my life. I'd come to relax not have a childcare job. Not to mention the financial obligation. Rent everything even the girls. I want to enjoy life not start one.
of course everyone is different Enjoy your life and retirement
How i can say with my only 3 years experience here is if you do live a lifestyle like that please make sure you're protected you don't know what's a street girls been doing. And believe me hospitalization here is not good!
A vertuous woman is a crown to her husband, : but she that maketh ashamed, is as rottin-ness to his bones prov.12:4
Thanks for sharing
From my experience, there's basically 2 types of Filipinas: 1) She has a kid 2) She wants a kid
Are we men just a means to those ends?
Yep. You are a sperm donor
hater Hunkyman is back with comments that only he understands
50+ million Filipinas. There are enough exceptions to cover a few thousand foreigners. But a lot of foreigners seem to either want or don't mind having kids (of their own). To each their own, but of course there are lots of exceptions.
watch out for baby daddy, he's getting it in i promise you, do not believe what she says about him, they all say he left and has a new family
Thanks for sharing
Most of the older guys in the Philippines with single moms around age 30 are only dealing today with young kids.
How many of those guys will even want to make the effort to stay in their relationship with that mom when she’s 45 to 50, & her adolescent, entitled, lazy brat is butting his/her head with the mom, asking for money & gifts, & showing next to no respect to his well over-70 year-old non-father?
Single moms may be tolerable at the start. But wait till the kid hits the terrible teens - & after.
Unless the non-dad is hoping to croak before that unpalatable event.
Thanks for sharing
Well, now, listen up, y'all! The reason a fella thinks a Filipina mom puts him last is 'cause he's puttin' himself first. What choice does she have, I reckon? She needs a man who puts his family first, that's the key to findin' the love he's been seekin'. Them moms done made a heap of sacrifices in life, can't be actin' like they're back in high school. So why'd a man think he oughta be worshipped, runnin' 'round playin' billiards, gettin' drunk, and chasin' women?
If you love a woman with a child, then by golly, you gotta love that child, too. A family that sticks together is a happy family, no two ways about it. If the only reason you fancy her is 'cause she looks sexy, well then, you best keep on bar finnin' 'til you're grown up enough to put others before yourself. Family is the Filipino way, so either embrace it or head on down to Walking Street.
Thanks for sharing
Family is the Filipino way and yet she is a single mom 🤷🏽♂️ Where is dad in this “Filipino way?”
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x
Family is big anywhere you go in South East Asia much more so then in the west. The dad is usually a young man who promises the girl she is everything he ever wanted then when she says I’m pregnant his family way stays with his family not hers. A good man takes responsibility. If you with a Filipina mom in a serious relationship then be a family that takes care each other. Men think they’re studs and explores and women are some game they play because they simply haven’t the strength to handle the reality and truth . They think me first. Foreigners they they got the money, they got the brains, they got the booze and they are getting the women usually by pretending they are interested in them but in truth they are interested in all of them that looks like eye candy. The Filipino way is a family oriented way it just doesn’t carry over in making new families often due to poverty, drunkenness, and nobody using protection before sex. The woman knows if she doesn’t give her boyfriend sex he will leave her. If she doesn’t give her foreigner sex he will leave her so some become scammers so you don’t need to leave her she will leave you when she gets what she wants from you.
@@attadeal3130 You’re blaming men (both Pinay and Cano) while portraying the Filipina as a victim.
First off, poverty makes a family stronger not less.
Second, I doubt drunkenness is that common among young men and if it is then why are the women choosing to be with them? Does this not reflect upon their judgement?
Third you say that Cano are pigs and womanizers so again she is a victim.
Finally (your argument) she becomes a scammer because boo-hoo all these bad men mistreating her.
The equation doesn’t add up.
@@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x
Like it or not the men are the most common culprit. That doesn’t mean all women are good. If you ever been to South East Asia you would know that drinking and smoking are common with the men. Poverty also has a hand in that. Just like it was in America like in the Coalfields of West Virginia the people were poor the life was hard and grandma had to send her oldest son to meet grandpa on payday otherwise he would spend it all in the pub after he had a round or two in him. Men often drink beat the crap out of the wife or simply can’t leave other women alone. Often they can’t handle poverty.
Their are single moms the world over, and many men in multiple countries bounce out not just a philippines problem, and guess what single moms in usa have kids sleeping in their bed at 8 9 or 10 years of age. And yes many women their if have kids are domestic partners and responsible. Also in the Philippines something you did not mention is age and family hardships in getting a job it's hard for a mom with a kid to work if not living with family
Thanks for sharing
my wife was a 27, almost 28 years old VIRGIN when we got married. she taught SUNDAY SCHOOL TO THE LITTLE KIDS AT HER UNCLES CHURCH!!
I INSPECTED THE HYMEN BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED, I HAD A CONDO AND WANTED HER TO PROVE HER VIRTUE , because if she was NOT, then i should be getting some like the last guy did! she had never even dated !!! never even been kissed!!!
so i have proof there are 27 year old VIRGINS!!!
call B/S on that ....You inspected the HYMEN total B/S
Bad idea if you are going to put sone resources into a child put itvin your own child.
you will always be putting in resources
Most men have previous children that their resources should be going to.
You can’t judge a Filipina for her parents raising her kids while she works abroad like you do the US. The mother is not happy about this but she has to feed her kids .
Thanks for sharing bigbuck
Just my two cents is the quality of a woman doesn’t depends on if she is a single mom or not. Once a guy falls in love with her it’s totally 💯 percent irrelevant that she’s a single mom. They can be the greatest mate on earth. We all have a past as adults. I personally don’t think a stigma should be put on single women. Because it’s a double standard . Great talk topic and thank you kindly for sharing.👌🏾
good point Skip
I would be skeptical of any Filipina who would agree to have her children raised by family members. No way would my wife not want her child with her regularly. Talking about farming out a child to relatives' smacks of selfishness when there is an alternative.
If you want a single mother , there are a hundred on any dating app who are looking for a man who's breathing. That's the only prerequisite. Just pick the one you want.
Thanks for Sharing
I'd rather marry a single mother over a young girl that's just waiting for me to die and get anything she can before moving on to the next geriatric to come by.
I can’t make any promises but I’ll try not to put a bun in the over when I’m there come Monday 😂😂
just be smart when your in the Philippines
Referring to your thumbnail video text my answer is that is a very bad idea. Only trouble
Thank you for your comment
Bad idea
why is it a bad idea?
@@mikesphilippineretirement Why would a man want to support another man' kid. Every time you see the kid you are reminded of her sexual adventures with another man. Ps I am not a hater. Maybe you don't understand my thinking
Sorry I'd be scared of the ex/dad/nosey neighbours who report you!
I've seen too many videos including from Filipino Peas friend & lawyer stating that it is against the law to be alone with a child that isn't yours, even if there are no additional accusations.
Perhaps I could not be with that single mum unless her parents raise the child and I am NEVER ALONE WITH THAT CHILD!
Yes that law scares me!
please common sense is needed
The philippines is the best place to find a wife not have sex most of these people are very conservative from my observations over the past 5 years
Thanks for sharing
Legal implications under vhild protective laws, family law. Risk of extortion. Illegal to be alone with non-biologicfl child under Philippine law
Thanks for sharing
Women in the Filipino asking for help money money to pay for bills
Thanks for sharing
Mike wants a "fathers knows best lifestyle " and pleasant ville. Lol. The boss...give me a break
and your who? and how old?
@mikesphilippineretirement im 56 and I don't want to be a ladies boss mike.....
@mikesphilippineretirement 56 yr old don't want to be a ladies boss. Who's duties are cooking and cleaning. Why not try to move into the 21st century for that matter why not even the 1980's mike? The way you talk is ridiculous about women and their roles....and you should know so. We can debate this till the cows come home old man. Not cool treat them like humans not work servants who put out
I personally would not data single mom over here. I had enough problems with my child haha to old for that! 😂😂
If you think that you’re gonna go to the Philippines and find a beautiful young Filipina who either don’t already have a child or don’t want to have any, you’re delusional.
Thanks for sharing and noted.
If she single mom.she do it to u run away
Thanks for sharing
From all these youtube videos single moms tend to be more mature and responsible. Who wants a twenty something. Thats a little girl to me. I like plus 30 i like a woman not a little girl...
so many guys want younger girls but it seems to be changing a little more towards older mature ladies
@mikesphilippineretirement And plus every guy is running after like 1 or 2 perfect 10's. Now theirs a power flip. The girl knows this and ends up taking the guy for all he's got. And rightfully so he gets what he deserves...
I met a 40 something pinay who's 15 year 0ld son sleeps in bed with her still, the boy can't sleep unless mom rubs his head at night, i know that boy is not having me coming in to his moms life
Thanks for sharing