I don't want the tipping culture to change. Adequate service should be a norm established by paying the service staff a proper wage, not something offloaded to the customer.
@@water9584 That was my point. I guess I should've mentioned that im estonian. I don't want the tipping culture to pervade here. It's exploitative on the servers and customers alike.
@@Meehuuu usually here it's just rounding up, when paying cash, more just in order to not be bothered by small change. can be any sum from coupla cents to e.g. in restaurant, if you're rich and generous or pretending to be, pay 80 smth € bill with 100€ and say it's ok, no change. 'tagasi pole vaja'.
The "smiling at strangers" section reminded me of an incident that took place a few weeks ago. I was riding the escalator and with me (on the same escalator) there was a group of who I think were tourists. At some point they started chatting me up and asking for my name and how I was doing etc. My social anxiety got the best of me and I froze. I didn't say a word. As soon as the escalator took me to upstairs, I walked off quickly. But before that, I heard one of the guys jokingly comment on my reaction: "How Estonian". Well, he wasn't wrong lmao.
I might be one of the rare ones, i am introvert but haplily chat with random foreners. Mostly due to self training for several years now. (Used to have massive cripling social anxiety too. I still have it but i have trained myself to ressist it, still habe teouble in larger audiances but dealing with that corrently.)
@@MananAnwar I very very heavily disagree with you in 3rd I remember one time I was invited to Dinner at Restaurant, and about 20 when in was invated to someones Home Form Dinner, about 14 Times I invited someone to my house, and 0 Times It invited someone to Restaurant For dinner
Estonians are mostly introverts compared to most of the world. For example, if someone smiles at me, I smile back, if someone waves to me, I wave back, but I'm usually not the one going first (unless it's someone I know). It depends on the situation, of course, if I see a lady drop something, I pick it up and hand it to her with a smile, but that's it, I imagine Antonio from Southern Europe would try his luck and score with her, but that's considered rude in Estonia. Men do hug, but it has to be a good friend you've not seen for a long time. We don't kiss each other on the cheek, in France it took me some time to get used to people trying to kiss me, it led to some awkward moments. Taking off shoes is a must. The only people who don't get to take their shoes off are the emergency workers. All the others - shoes off! And you better have clean socks too, otherwise you'll be talked about for years to come. It's serious, we called a plumber once and he had dirty sweaty socks and my wife can't stop talking about how she had to wash the floors afterwards. Street food culture - I'd like that, but there are simply not enough customers for them to thrive. You can buy fast food from the gas stations, there are some independent kiosks here and there, but that's it. Loud talk in public is absolutely considered rude in Estonia. No one gives a damn if you won a lottery, just keep the voice down.
Handshakes for me are reserved for a) introducing myself to new people, b) meeting old acquaintances after a long time. I don’t shake hands with people that I meet regularly every day/week/month.
Fist bump is American, we do not do it. You nod your head lightly while greeting or raise your hand a bit. Russian men shake hands all the time to show they have no hidden knife in their fist :-)
@@henrikmanitski1061 American woman here. I hug my friends (female and male) every time I see them. I shake hands with nearly everyone the first time I meet them. For work relationships, a handshake each time we meet can feel normal-it takes the place of a hug that I would give if it was a closer friend.
The smiling thing is so true. I am an estonian and when I was a kid I traveled to Sweden with my family. I was walking on the street, when a random old man smiled at me and waved. I stared at him in pure shock and ran to my parents. I just couldn't comprehend why a random person would do that, it was so strange. My mom had to explain to me that in other countries people talk to strangers and are friendlier. Blew my mind away:]
You guy's are more due north😅... The more you go to north the colder people are (I am Estonian working in Kemi at moment) anyway you are nice and kind neighbors for us 😊
For Estonians it also has been a stereotype of loud/yelling Finnish tourists visiting old Tallinn or just to get/buy some alcohol. This means both sides have some loud/annoying people, does not mean all are. Some of my best friends, family friends and childhood friends and even family members are Finnish (even spent several of my whole summers in Finland when i was young, pre and durning school), so plenty of examples for me to see that stereotypes often are the exeptions. 😉 🇪🇪♥️🇫🇮
The small talk bit is so true. I actually teach small talk in my English classes. But one of my closest friends in Estonia and I can sit, drink tea/beer, and never speak. As a Canadian, it was hard to learn this but I like it. Also I have been fortunate to be on a smile-basis with several others in my neighbourhood. I like that. And we do know a couple of our neighbours because we often meet on Fridays down in the garden to have wine and get out of the heat of the building. Maybe the neighbourhood friendliness is due to all of us walking dogs?
In the old days when mobile phones weren't that common, Estionans often had short visits and then it included always a cup of coffee and some gossip, quick updates amongst friends and relatives. Not many snacks, though. But there is a rule in general when you are going to see someone, you never go with empty hands. You always take some food and wine with you when going to see friends or family. So, we are food lovers too, even when our food doesn't look very tempting to foreigners :D Every gathering usually has a huge amount of food, especially when the older generation is involved. But as you mentioned, we do not invite people very often out of our usual circle, so these things may stay unseen and happen behind the curtains ;)
This. If someone invited me to have tea/coffee at their home, I would take cake or biscuits with me! I've always been taught it's rude to go empty-handed. However, I've noticed that this tradition is dying among younger people (younger than 30, I mean). Maybe I'm wrong.
I am not sure if it's dying, but might be less common. I'm 24 and still whenever I go to see a friend or visit someone I feel wrong not bringing something. It's kinda built in me as being polite and nice. Seems wrong not to. I don't live in Estonia anymore, and here in Sweden people find it odd, but I just can't help myself, it feels wrong to go somewhere and not bring gifts.
About hugging and shaking hands. You have to be quite close to the person to hug if you're leaving or meeting them. Hugging basically a stranger or not that close acquaintance is considered very weird. Most people don't shake hands when meeting friends. Shaking hands is more of a russian culture thing, estonians usually don't shake hands but if a local russian wants to shake hands then estonians do shake back but don't feel that comfortable doing that.
I think the reason for not really knowing your neighbors comes from the fact that classically large apartment buildings built during the soviet days were basically just for sleeping and the waking hours would be spent elsewhere - working or tending a garden (usually in a separate location) or visiting relatives or at the summer home or spending time in the city. Back then people would stay at home to watch TV, but not to socialize with people in the same building.
Whistling can also be categorized as keeping to yourself in public. Just because you like to whistle doesn't mean everyone else wants to hear you whistle.
Uhm...not exactly smiling indiscriminately at everyone you happen to pass by. But more like discreetly acknowledging another person exists near you, no matter how brief or transitory the meeting is. Too many big city people are in such a rush that they treat other people around them as if they're invisible, and depending on the situation it can come off as very self-centered and rude. Of the cities I know well- Stockholm can be like that and New York even more so!
When the opposite gender smiles at you in a traditional society, you know what that means right? Also, if you hug the opposite gender that’s not your family member, then it means only one thing for the most part.
Here in the South (USA), we smile and chat! Connections are so important. I've gained so much perspective by being the recipient of many unsolicited conversations. How to get stains out of clothes, new recipes, dating advice, who has the best coffee and etc.. All those interactions have been such a gift. *Don't miss the opportunity to share this life.*
The current US “compulsory” tipping culture is because of low wages for waiters etc. They are not paid a living wage. I would give a tip only for an exceptionally pleasant service.
I'm from Latvia, but I think I understand Estonians, we have always lived in separated houses not in villages, so - strangers are strange. But the reason why we really don't trust the first stranger is KGB times when your closest person could betray you (meaning your and probably your families death). Also there are a lot of superstitions, they're funny, whistling indoors not welcomed also in Latvia, meaning - there will be no money. But if we will talk some words with you - you will be welcomed that no fake smile, no fake words could compare. All of our feelings are deep and real.
If I feel like whistling, I'll whistle. I hate this, I dunno, very Catholic approach to life - don't whistle, it's a sign of joy! And if something brings you joy, you better believe it's a sin! Screw that mindset.
@@kraanz its actually not catholic approach its totaly pagan. Estonia Was last pagan stronghold in Europe and even when crusaders concuered us it took almost 2 centurys to breake our will and root out big part of our traditions, thouse whatthey coulnt root out they integrated to Christianity
We don’t smile when walking on street because we have lot of thoughts and we don’t pay attention to surrounding :-). Finnish comedian ISMO would say that we are very smart when we have so much thoughts, but Latvians would joke that our main thoughts are “What is this tanned guy with beard thinking about me? Why is he laughtnig, is there something wrong with me?” So go figure what is correct :-)
I hadnt noticed the handshaking thing before but damn now that Im thinking about it its so accurate. My dad only shakes his best friends hand (they have been best friends for almost 20 years) on his birthday, on the new year when everyone is wishing each other a happy new year and when our family trips end successfully (as in they have managed to herd 12 people in 3 different cars for 3 days straight without any casualties).
Street food. Estonia joined the European Union and had to comply with the rules. In Estonia, there is a Food and Veterinary Agency that monitors compliance with the rules. In order to offer food, there must be a certificate of health, one must undergo food hygiene training, one must have a quality of washing dishes that is in line with food hygiene requirements. I myself have sold food at home and fulfilled these conditions. I have been to festivals in Germany. The organizer of the art festival prepared food for his cafe. Germany is trusted more in the European Union and the rules are a bit more relaxed. But the rules are stricter in areas of the former German Democratic Republic. This is what my East German friends in Sweden told me. This is not discrimination. It's a matter of reputation. Newcomers have to prove themselves. The topic of street food is also related to climatic conditions and competition. Also with people's standard of living.
Yes to the library like atmosphere! I visited my son, who is living in Tallinn, and he said my daughter and I were getting the side eye because we were chatting and laughing like normal in a coffee shop. So interesting because generally we are viewed as quiet overall. I'm going back in a few weeks and I can't wait. I loved Tallinn and I am thrilled to get to see more of it.
I had a woman speaking english come up to me in a grocery store to ask for help. I just did what she asked, nodded and smile while she thanked me thousend times. I didnt speak a word, my anxiety just made me forget how to speak english 😭 Other time I just helped a man pick up things from the ground cuz his bag broke right infront of me, he spoke in english too thanking me and I just said absolutly nothing and left 💀
The hugging/handshake thing is half true. You give them a handshake for accomplishments, when first meeting them or if you are not going to see them for a while (like months) or seeing them in a while.
Ära vilista toas, tuba läheb külmaks. We do have street food at summer, mostly ice cream. It's 23 ºC outside, it's sooo hot! I do small talk with strangers if I see they are in trouble. I am so helpful.
Hi, I’m writing to you from Toronto and want you to know how much I enjoy your comments about Estonia and Estonians. I was born in Estonia in 1941. However, now that I’m Canadian, Estonia is still in my heart. We Estonians in Canada have lived a very multicultural life and we have become louder, smiling individuals with friends at our dining table from all around the world. Estonians are slowly going to change with the influx of immigrants and that is a very good thing.
There were a few laugh out loud moments in your video for me. Two weeks in Tallinn and I saw much of what you said. Of course, I know that two weeks is not long enough to see everything and know everything, but yep, you nailed it.
My family has always been prone to tipping, I guess it depends on people. However we don't tip if the service is not good. Whistling inside would be considered quite rude, true. If I drink tea with a friend we usually have some snacks too, not much but something. Most Estonians would rather have coffee though.
About shoes - it's also about showing respect for household that you're visiting. It's disrespectful to come inside with shoes on, kind of equal to sitting into someone's car with very dirty clothes. But in hotels nobody cares, you are living in the room and you can make the floor as dirty as you like.
As an Estonian, fully agree. I do have seen quite a few things change compared to like 10+ years ago: more street food, people (especially younger ones) being more open in public and smiling more. With the last one I myself had an experience around 15 years ago. Was a nice sunny and warm spring day. I was waiting for my city bus to go home. I felt really nice and decided to smile at people in the bus. Oh my... if looks could kill xD I do like the tipping culture. You tip only when the service is good or exceptional.
I am an Indian and was learning about Estonia. It is a huge culture shock, I'd say. I like the part where people are straight forward. Goes well for the work environment but it's really hard to digest that folks in Estonia would be so straight forward even outside of workplace. May be one learning I have taken from your videos and comments is that people in Estonia do not engage in conversations unless you are very close to them. As a foreigner, I guess I'd have missed that bus where I could make bonds with fellow Estonians from childhood. In such a case, would one be able to make friends in Estonia?
Thank you for create this kind of content for the people that is interesting for moving to Estonia. Good explanation in an objective way, thanks again! You have been another suscriptor!
The neighbor knowing thing is generally pretty situational. I have had both experiences of living in an apartment and knowing almost all of my neighbors, and living in a single family home, not knowing anyone in the surrounding houses.
also, may be germans can explain, what's the point in opening a shop until 17.00, if no one can attend it during working hours? The 4 hours after 17.00 would have twice as use as 8 hours until 17.00
I almost always tip but the difference is I guess that it is not semi-mandatory like in some countries. Stores... compared to southern Europe the stores are open way longer. Everything else is mostly accurate but there are always exceptions. Great vid!!
Valid points! However, smaller places in Southern Estonia, especially in Setomaa are exceptionally chatty and do not follow this rule, I believe. You have random older ppl coming over to chat in the bus stop with strangers, etc.
I am up to number 5, I am in, that is who I am, no hugs, no handshakes only fist bumps. I am not neighborly, I like privacy, I do not like to get out much either. I look forward to the rest, I have a feeling I feel comfortable about all of this since my ancestors came from that part of the world.
@@BG-tf8bo The pandemic special situation was absolute heaven. After the restrictions ended I had severe social anxiety because how many people suddenly were out
Avoiding ppl, too. In a bus, when there are 3 people inside, one sits on the front, the other on the back and the third one right in the middle. It's considered creepy and potentially harrassing when you sit next to someone in a half empty bus. Also, as an introverted Estonian, I go to swim the earliest in the morning in a local pool complex and use the facilities there bc it's the time when almost no one is there. I feel awkward when I have to share a small jacuzzi with strangers so I only use it when it's free and in case others are coming in, I'll soon be going. And you have to do everything you can to avoid sitting right next to strangers, as well. It's ok only when all other places are taken.
An interesting description of cultural differences. I'm a Canadian who has lived in Stockholm, Sweden for many years. It surprised me how much of what you observed also applies to many people in the Nordic countries. Some of these differences I've adapted to while others still seem a bit peculiar. Nowadays, I like the relative silence on buses and the subway. People talking TOO LOUD, either on their phones or to their equally loud friends is not pleasant nor considerate. On the other hand, hugging of casual acquaintances has become endemic now in Sweden, some sort of PC ritual. Personally, I'm not fond of it. I prefer to reserve shows of genuine affection to people I really care about and not to people I barely know-where "See ya or Nice meeting you!"would be good enough.
The culture feels more because of effect of Soviet union. I have friends from china and Russia who use to speak low and never used to laugh (not smile) and they are very afraid to speak in public. Guess it will change in Estonia too as they are moving away from Soviet way of living
talking about hugging, this reminds me of this one time when I was still in middle school and my cousin had come over for summer(we got really close). when she was leaving via train she came in for a hug and out of utter shock of such a situation I stepped back and said no, she got shocked as well and slapped me. she did call me later and apologize for overreacting. This became a core memory and after that when someone wants to hug me i just go with it - its not like im losing something, and its a rare occurence.
The smiling thing is odd I have to admit. But its connected to our thinking. Smiling too much to perfect strangers is like talking too much. you can't handle your emotions and are probably not reliable and sus. Its also due to the Soviet time and KGB there people mutually distrusted each-other and the Gulag system. So people literally feel you wanna steal their golden tooth, then you smile on the street. You do that then you know a person closer and he/she is in your inner circle. You can even not smile to your coworkers depending on the level of intimacy you're at. At the Bus you have your Warface on. You have seen that catface meme, what is supposed to be a smily. That's the Estonian inner smile :P The taking off your shoes, is due to Estonians being focused on how they are perceived outside, and if you enter with your shoes, it might ruin the carpet or something, or be hard to clean. Its like having lack of respect for the Household, who invited you. That includes burping and farting at dinner table which is largely throwned upon and I am guilty of sometimes >//////< Its not only the snow, but also the gravel and dirt what can lodge on your shoes or wilted leafs. All shoes are left to Esik, they usually have a place of holding like in Japan. OwO "If you whistle indoors you burn down the house" normally russian jittebuggers and gangsters do that, so please DONT! Its connected to reporting the Kulacs and Kulag. The KGB whistled alot. Also don't slur at the dinner table, because you can be kicked out for it. Which brings us to the infamous slur" Sina räägid siis kui kana pissib!" "You shall talk then the hen takes a piss!" which is awarded to the wordy child, who occupies all the conversation or too chattery woman. Am quilty of that crime, I am a Walgekaaren (White Raven) OwO Normally the talk goes through a hierarchy and its not polite to interupt people. Seniority matters alot. It is not polite always win the argument, then somebody older is wrong, because thats seen as though you slandered that person. (Y) Everything in Estonia is reserved, so we don't openly share our feelings, until we don't know you better. We do hug, but its almost like kissing between couples and very private, which we don't wanna do in public but things are changing and mixing up... OwO shaking hands is reserved for business deals, and due to Estonians wanting to make every word count, and talking very little, you should also shake hands very little, because you basically accepting that person into your sacred space. :o If your handshake is limp, it means, you dont respect that man and are looking down on him. Also don't squeese too hard, because the other might brake your arm, know your limits, just as with alcohol. (Y) When you attend the Tea Break you mostly take something with you, especially if you can cook, because you're part of the family now. You should ask about what is needed so there is no excess or dublication which can happen. There are several traditions due to us being influenced by Germans; Swedes; Russians so you sometimes drink Earl Gray with milk or with lemon, or without. You can have a coffee break, and the coffee can be Tar. Literally the strongest heart stopping thing you can imagine. There is believed if a woman can make her boyfriend drink it, then he's in love, then he complains, he's not. Our special lovers potion. People really respect you, then you can drink your coffee and tea raw and strong. You never invited to the Tea Break casually but there must be an important occasion what needs to be commended at workplace or otherwise in your life worthy of respect. Vastla Kukkel is only eaten at Vastlapäev (Shrove Tuesday; Pancake Tuesday, which is at 47 days before Easter Sunday. There are various traditions with that day, including eating the Green Pee soup and making the longest slide with the sledge. He/She who wins gets married first. You can eat it casually too, but Estonians will not follow. We had it that the shops closed just like in the World but after the Soviet Union collapsed it gradually got more relaxed until the current day, there shops are open late. People can't go to shop, because they are working until late hours and those late hours are for those people, who come back from their 12 hour shifts. Smalltalk is spam. You need to know that person really well, so you could smalltalk him. because every word needs to mean something and you need to have something to say, before you commune with an Estonian, or you shall be avoided and be weary upon. We also don't like inbouncers, the new cultural thing, then teenagers invite people to the store and stuff, because it involves smalltalk. I got even warned at my church teasingly, if I dare to accept such a job, then they will start evading me on the streets. You have to be a serious person, who is respectable, and smalltalk doesn't give much chance to that... :o Another good reason, aside the foreigners, who can smalltalk, are missionaries and social workers, who mostly deal with homeless people and street folk. Those are also respected, then they do the inbouncer thing. It is otherwise seen as a grift then money is involved. We used to have street food, but it died out due to politics and liberalism :v You would have to go to the open market to get the ingredients and do it yourself. Those places can still hold street food vendors. Its too expencive to compete with the large conglomerates. I give you an example, a friend of mine, who sells AmWay now, had this gig of making the best Fried Chicken in town, but then the corporations got wind of it and made the same product cheaper, and musckles him out of the market. Xompetition is fierce we have too many market stores comopeting for the same custoemers. You can literally have 3-4 different client cards because its discount every single day of the year on something. Maybe you can find 8 days per year, there nothing is on discount, the end result. No street vendors :o Learn to obtain your Warface, so you don't celebrate or talk too loudly. It is regarded as lack of respect and restraint, then you fill the entire room with your emotions. :o We don't have a tipping culture, but we love to haggle and hustle. Its quickly changing and mixing up, I don't mind to occasionally tip, then I want the store to hang around longer. OwO People are not very rich so thats one of the reasons, why. Another great video. Keep doing your thing. :P
It's not that the handshake should be very firm. It should be an appropriate level of firmness, it shouldn't give pain to the other person but should be reassuringly firm.
Loving your channel Manan! Agree with pretty much everything but the hugging. But this could be just my social circle. If you're friends with someone, no matter if guy or gal, it would be considered almost rude if there was no hugs involved. Maybe even a little peck on the cheek if in a festive mood. If you're in the friend zone most Estonians I know are super touchy-feely. Also while there is no tipping culture, it's actually very easy and much appreciated. You don't have to carry cash, in most places you can just ask to add a couple of euros to your bill and the staff will get their tips in cash at the end of the workday. I'm actually surprised restaurants aren't communicating this more forcefully that it's an option.
I live in a private house and I frequently talk to all my neighbours, apart from one. The outlier has installed a 2-2.5 m privacy hedge around his property, that’s why. Although, he and his family very rarely spend any time in their yard. The only movement there can be attributed to a robomower.
My grandma always said no whistle long indoors. In Asia like Japan, there are no shoes indoors. It is common sense because you don't bring dirt inside. For me, it is a full to watch when people go indoors with their shoes and jump in bed with those. If you live countryside and you live in a house or little village. Everybody knows their neighbours, but we don't visit or talk to them all the time.
Yes, tipping is not a must, but you can always tip if you want and staff will be very happy (they earn minimum salary or less). Paying with card is never a problem, you can tip with card. You just have to let staff know how much you want to tip them and they will change the sum for the card terminal. I, myself, always leave a tip when I eat or drink somewhere where everything is served to you to your table.
Whistling! OMG this was a huge challenge for me especially since I whistle a lot. I got several warnings before it stuck that I'm not supposed to whistle indoors
I have noticed that smalltalk exists, but only when people get drunk enough. I have had successful smalltalk in pubs in the queue for the toilet or outside where people smoke.
Smokers are a sort of "club" they can do smalt talk even with strangers. Smoking areas are considered places where people chat and get to know new people. Smoking rooms at offices used to be places, where problems were solved and new people (smokers) accepted to the "family".
About number five. Estonians have usually a set of friends, co-workers, relatives, or from some other place, and they communicate with them. No need to add another set.
when the bill is brought to your table you can say "change it to xx" or something if you want to tip and then you can tip with a card, it doesn't work everywhere but most places allow it.
Huging: when you met your siblings you actually hug them but just friends you don't hug so much or it's just me. Beacuse of that i'm a teenager boy we don't do anything, we just say "goodbye" or don't say anything and leave in Estonia (at least at my friends zone).
It is accustumary to take off your shoes when you enter the home but not always. It is very usual for the host to say "don't take your shoes off" (ära jalast ära võta). Usually when it is a short period visit. It is not rude to take your shoes off anyway.
Shoes indoors and specially at home - never I want to use them inside. In my experience people in Latvia, Lithuania, Denmark, Finland, Sweden and Norway in most cases are taking shoes off at home as well. I think in Russia as well. Whistling in doors - this is new to me. Dinner - mostly birthdays and barbeque. Neighbors - completely true. I do not even know why is it like that. Some kind of "do not disturb and keep the privacy" thing... Shops opening time has been changed over the years. In soviet times shops were closed for sure after 5, later some where open even 24/7, specially gas-stations and so one. Small talk is getting better - younger people have experience prom other countries, and it is not as strange as it was years ago. I worked in Ireland in a shop for one year in my early 20-s, and small talk with strangers is absolutely normal to me if possible. Street food in eastern countries is amazing. I think that short summer might be one reason it is not common in Estonia as it is only seasonable. Beeing quieter than most nations - for sure. Don`t also know is it bad or good... Tiping - personally I like the way it is! Please add the extra cost to the bill in my opinion! Smiling to strangers - it is getting better. I can feel it with my own experience! Of course it is far away from kindness of most of the nations! Very good videos and good arguments! Keep going!
I would actually argue against the 3rd point, men hugging and shaking hands. It really does depend on people, and I hug my friends every time I see them, and the same with handshaking, it's just a generally nice thing to do, a show of respect.
Great video, thank you so so much! 🙌 I'm Spanish and I'll go to Estonia in September, I'll stay there for 10 months, so I truly appreciate all this information... Spain is completely different 😅 but I really like many things about Estonia, so I'm very excited! (I won't show it too much, anyway 😂).
my friends had spanish friends over and went to supermarket together. everything normal, got all stuff needed, then spanish friend asked: er... you have some national mourning going on or smth? referring to every body being as quiet as possible in shop :D also, have your sun lamp with you for winter. or book sun bed in spa. no sun gets to everybody, even if cold is no problemo.
@@SiiriRebane I can totally imagine that situation 😂 And if supermarkets are noisy here in Spain, public transport is just... crazy! It must be a shock at the beginning. Anyway, I really like that about Estonia, among many other things 🥰 Also thank you very much for the advice about the (no) sun, I'll keep it in mind!
@@MananAnwar Glad to be able to participate. ATM still on treatment (was in ER last week as the reason/problem i had to cansel got worse) but will definetly let you know when am able boddied enought. Also thanks for the reply 😄👍
My expat spouse asked over a neighbour I have never seen and he met him the first time. I seriously thought I have to call to the mental center... Also, I was not home at the time. I think he still can't understand how much of a line he crossed that night.
I agree with all of your observations. Though I do feel that we are slowly getting more welcoming and friendly. I grew up in Tallinn and moved to Pärnu in my late twenties. The weirdest thing I have noticed is that some pedestrians wait until all cars have passed. Some people even wave at the cars to pass or step back from the pedestrian crossing sign to let the cars pass
Thanks for commenting. I agree, Estonia has changed quite a lot in the last 10 years I have been here. But I have only lived in urban areas so I don't think it is a good representation of all of Estonia.
@@MananAnwar Ha! Most estonians consider Pärnu as a major city! 😁 It's 4th by population after Tallinn, Tartu and Narva. With cashiers if you are polite and greet them, then you get "Tere!" and "Palun!" in return everywhere in Estonia. Otherwise the cashiers think that you are rude/tired/preoccupied etc. Except in North-eastern Estonia, there you get dumb looks or Russian niceties at best. As an ethnic Estonian and a person with autistic traits I really appreciate that the customer service people don't 'attack' you with "Can I help you? What are you looking for?" and rather wait for you to ask for help
Bigger and better chains like Selver are open until 22.00 or 23.00 daily, Konsum/Coop usually similar. Some Prisma stores are open 24/7. Markets close early and Rimi closes early often. Smalltalk is not northern European thing. Considered breach of privacy and waste of time and energy. We'd like to keep tipping culture the same - servers get paid legal salary for their work and tip should only be given when there was extra good service or you were left extra satisfied with something. In this case tipping is easy, you just leave few coins on the table, when leaving. Servers here don't depend on tips for salary (like in USA) and should be only tipped for cases when there's something special to the service or food. Tallinn is in Estonia but Estona isn't Tallinn. Tallinn has different traditions, countryside IS different. At large- for most Estonians Tallinn is just for work (making money) and sleep. For weekends people go back home to countryside, to their own people. Real Estonian life and relationships in general happen outside of Tallinn. Tallinn is filled too much with tourists, forigners, especially russian speakers, soviet mentality people left from soviet times, and therefore people trust people less in Tallinn, and Estonians don't always feel at home in Talllinn anymore. Totally different culture from countryside, where people communicate with neighbours, willages have strong communities and festivities etc. Where people trust people a lot. Naturally there are 100% city dwellers too, but they usually have no clue of Estonian traditions, they sort of lost the culture and roots and also they lost the ability to build/fix stuff with their own hands.
Nicely done. Like the chapters. A follow up video of which are Estonian, which are Soviet, and which are European features might be nice. The ways the Russian occupation changed Estonian culture might also be a nice spinoff topic. Not knowing your neighbours is likely a feature of Soviet culture because you did not live where you liked, but where the government allowed you. It also meant you spoke softly, wore dull colours, and did not try to attract attention, positive or negative, to yourself so that the NKVD and KGB left you alone. I notice that other channels like The Russian Dude use surveys to collect data. So you could do a survey for each cultural issue and see how many others have it or an alternative. Here in Lithuania, it is often felt by older people that a person who does not drink alcohol with you cannot be trusted. Until you have been really drunk with someone, you have no idea what secrets they might be hiding, goes the philosophy. Being invited into a home may be connected with that. The Russian Dude also uses surveys to promote videos, which is necessary since UA-cam promotes his surveys but rarely his videos. Thus the survey for this video could list the 12 items as ask which is the strangest for readers. Or maybe they know a stranger one.
@Manan Anvar Foreigner ticket! Yes! 😂 Nice name for that phenomenon! I suppose we just go with the hug to avoid awkward decline. And I'm a woman. And about shaking hand for the first time you meet someone.. My grandmother taught me as a young girl that a handshake has to be right kind of firm (not like handing someone a dead fish). Also when you meet someone and shake their hand they also give you evaluation by your handshake. ;) I don't think we have tea breaks. We have parties, dinners and BBQs. And most of them (if not for small kids) take place in the evening or at least on the second half of the day. If a stranger starts small talking to me in public then they are probably interested in me (that's an Estonians' point of view). I think the tipping culture is changing. Our family tips about 10% when we are happy with the food and service (I hope those who are wealthier, give more :D ).
I think that openness in rural areas could be influenced by environment. They have more open space to live in, often they have to take a hike to borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbor. We poor town rats live literally on top of each other in huge buildings, so we replace the physical space with the mental armor. Especially older generation, who experienced thin walls, chock-full buses (you had to squeeze for a moment to let the doors close), crowding in front of counters, etc. When I was little we lived in a pre-war building with only 8 flats, no hot water, and there everybody knew and visited each other. After we moved into the new flat, we just greeted the people we occasionally met on the stairs. Even after growing up I have had visiting-level relations with only 3 families. (Neighborhood kids don't count, we just played together and then went 'iga roju oma koju' (every malnourished miserable to its own home)). After cars became more available, families were not depending so much on public transport and could move from flat to house in the suburbs giving children more space. Maybe that's why post-SU generations are more huggy.
As an Estonian, I tip rarely, Ive done it maybe 3-4 times in my life. I only do it if the difference between the bill and the amount I'm giving is really small say for example the bill is 12€ and i give 15€ i tell them "Pole vaja tagasi anda!" :) And also sometimes there are situations where they dont have any change to give back, so they prefer if the perfect amount is given.
1. Shoes - Climate 2. Whistling - No problem. 3. Dinner - Yes, we are more introverted, so it doesn't happen often. But not all that special. 4. Hugging - not a thing. Shaking hands - very common. 5. About neighbours - True. We don't feel forced to socialize. 6. Tea break - yes, no snacks. 7. Shops - They're open late. 8. No small talk with strangers. It's kind of bad we're so introverted and/or reserved. 9. Our street food is improving. Nothing like Asia of course. 10. Emotional in public - As said before, and as you may know, we are just reserved people who don't get rowdy, but it's not considered crazy to do so. When we feel comfortable and let loose, we can be very loud. 11. We don't tip. Everyone gets their salary. But this culture is somewhat coming over. I always tip the couriers who deliver food. They always appreciate it. 12. Smiling - Pretty much the same as point 10. Not a big deal at all. People smile for all kinds of reasons. If they look at you and smile, they like you. It's not weird at all.
You can add a tip even if you pay by card, not everywhere and it's not very welcome because of transaction fees and taxes, so the waiter gets a lesser amount, but if you ask, they mostly add tips. I mostly have no problem with that(except for a couple of times in the last 7 years)
interesting video. as a local, i challenge some of these rules with my behavior. like smiling at strangers lol, and tipping, even though i don't want the culture to change and for tipping to become expected by employers, but it's just nice to leave something for the person who brought me food. the street food thing is definitely related to the climate imo. interesting point about inviting people to dinner, i don't think I've ever been invited to dinner at anyones place. the community culture overall is weak for sure. its quite sad. i think it's the cultural legacy of the kind of oppression we endured. i do appreciate not being expected to interact with people though lol.
about whistling: my gran always told me off and gave same reason for forbidding whistling indoors. only recently i cracked the code: if you are parent and tell children to stop whistling bc it's annoying, they ignore/forget. if you tell them it brings bad luck and fire, they listen and remember better. about taking off shoes: i sadly miss olden times (1930s) when esp in towns ppl wore galoshes/overshoes on their street shoes and took the former off when entering a house and leaving the latter on, thusly not worried about exposing their socks to elements inside said house. :) other things, might be considered crazy, but i still observe some: never put bread loaf on its back. bad luck, esp, lady of the house might die. never put cut loaf in position where cut end faces door. food walks out of door, i.e. hunger comes. better not: mend or sew button on clothing while person is wearing it, esp. child or pregnant person: stops child growing or brings illness to person. never point your finger at rainbow - rainbow gets angry and all kinds of bad things happen - finger drops off, gets rotten, or worst: rain stops coming, drought comes.
Putting bread on the "back" doesn't mean back luck, it means that you show disrespect to bread. Bread should always be honored, as any other food because they're hard to come by - a lot of work and a lot of risks. Therefore bread should always be on the "belly", whatever food was put onto the plate, should be eaten and not thrown away. If bread fell onto floor, you'd have to pick it up and kiss it. Disrespecting bread and food will lead to hunger. Also bread whould never be handed to another human on the knife - this is the way one would give bread to wolves not humans.
Tipping in some companies are even forbidden. You should treat all customers equally good, and shouldn't get benefits for your work from clients.. equality and avoid of corruption
we actually have street food in some places in Estonia like Pärnu, Tallinn and Tartu but not a lot beacuse we are mostly introverts (I just wanted to make a point)
I don't want the tipping culture to change. Adequate service should be a norm established by paying the service staff a proper wage, not something offloaded to the customer.
It' annoying however, that you are basically forced to do it. Also, in my country waiters get a very good payment and don't actuayneed the tipping.
@@water9584 That was my point. I guess I should've mentioned that im estonian. I don't want the tipping culture to pervade here. It's exploitative on the servers and customers alike.
@@Meehuuu usually here it's just rounding up, when paying cash, more just in order to not be bothered by small change. can be any sum from coupla cents to e.g. in restaurant, if you're rich and generous or pretending to be, pay 80 smth € bill with 100€ and say it's ok, no change. 'tagasi pole vaja'.
I tip everyone when I'm in Estonia and no one turns it down 😂
@@MercyKat haha thank you! It means a lot to me 😅😅
The "smiling at strangers" section reminded me of an incident that took place a few weeks ago. I was riding the escalator and with me (on the same escalator) there was a group of who I think were tourists. At some point they started chatting me up and asking for my name and how I was doing etc. My social anxiety got the best of me and I froze. I didn't say a word. As soon as the escalator took me to upstairs, I walked off quickly. But before that, I heard one of the guys jokingly comment on my reaction: "How Estonian". Well, he wasn't wrong lmao.
😂😂😂
I might be one of the rare ones, i am introvert but haplily chat with random foreners.
Mostly due to self training for several years now.
(Used to have massive cripling social anxiety too. I still have it but i have trained myself to ressist it, still habe teouble in larger audiances but dealing with that corrently.)
@@MananAnwar I very very heavily disagree with you in 3rd I remember one time I was invited to Dinner at Restaurant, and about 20 when in was invated to someones Home Form Dinner, about 14 Times I invited someone to my house, and 0 Times It invited someone to Restaurant For dinner
Estonians are not such talkers, we rather keep to ourselves
Estonians are mostly introverts compared to most of the world. For example, if someone smiles at me, I smile back, if someone waves to me, I wave back, but I'm usually not the one going first (unless it's someone I know). It depends on the situation, of course, if I see a lady drop something, I pick it up and hand it to her with a smile, but that's it, I imagine Antonio from Southern Europe would try his luck and score with her, but that's considered rude in Estonia.
Men do hug, but it has to be a good friend you've not seen for a long time. We don't kiss each other on the cheek, in France it took me some time to get used to people trying to kiss me, it led to some awkward moments.
Taking off shoes is a must. The only people who don't get to take their shoes off are the emergency workers. All the others - shoes off! And you better have clean socks too, otherwise you'll be talked about for years to come. It's serious, we called a plumber once and he had dirty sweaty socks and my wife can't stop talking about how she had to wash the floors afterwards.
Street food culture - I'd like that, but there are simply not enough customers for them to thrive. You can buy fast food from the gas stations, there are some independent kiosks here and there, but that's it.
Loud talk in public is absolutely considered rude in Estonia. No one gives a damn if you won a lottery, just keep the voice down.
I agree with this comment 100%
100 pre cent agree 😂
you guys smile at people?!
As an Estonian, I agree.
I'm married to an.Estomian woman. 😊 Yes to all. And don't argue with her when inside your home. She is the boss. End of argument .😉
Handshakes for me are reserved for a) introducing myself to new people, b) meeting old acquaintances after a long time. I don’t shake hands with people that I meet regularly every day/week/month.
fist bump 'll do at least for me
@@matskustikee as a woman, for me these look sooo awkward lol
Do you just say Hello without shaking hands? Or is it a fist bump or how should i imagine it? Thansk.
Fist bump is American, we do not do it. You nod your head lightly while greeting or raise your hand a bit.
Russian men shake hands all the time to show they have no hidden knife in their fist :-)
@@henrikmanitski1061 American woman here. I hug my friends (female and male) every time I see them. I shake hands with nearly everyone the first time I meet them. For work relationships, a handshake each time we meet can feel normal-it takes the place of a hug that I would give if it was a closer friend.
Yes in public trantsport it is inpolite to even talk loudly, specialy on long ride busses, even having a phone call.
The smiling thing is so true. I am an estonian and when I was a kid I traveled to Sweden with my family. I was walking on the street, when a random old man smiled at me and waved. I stared at him in pure shock and ran to my parents. I just couldn't comprehend why a random person would do that, it was so strange. My mom had to explain to me that in other countries people talk to strangers and are friendlier. Blew my mind away:]
@@WhyyyyyyNot 😂
Nice. Coming from Finland this is so funny. We find Estonians as talkative and rather impulsive people. Love visiting Estonia! ❤
You guy's are more due north😅... The more you go to north the colder people are (I am Estonian working in Kemi at moment) anyway you are nice and kind neighbors for us 😊
For Estonians it also has been a stereotype of loud/yelling Finnish tourists visiting old Tallinn or just to get/buy some alcohol.
This means both sides have some loud/annoying people, does not mean all are.
Some of my best friends, family friends and childhood friends and even family members are Finnish (even spent several of my whole summers in Finland when i was young, pre and durning school), so plenty of examples for me to see that stereotypes often are the exeptions. 😉
🇪🇪♥️🇫🇮
The small talk bit is so true. I actually teach small talk in my English classes. But one of my closest friends in Estonia and I can sit, drink tea/beer, and never speak. As a Canadian, it was hard to learn this but I like it. Also I have been fortunate to be on a smile-basis with several others in my neighbourhood. I like that. And we do know a couple of our neighbours because we often meet on Fridays down in the garden to have wine and get out of the heat of the building. Maybe the neighbourhood friendliness is due to all of us walking dogs?
In the old days when mobile phones weren't that common, Estionans often had short visits and then it included always a cup of coffee and some gossip, quick updates amongst friends and relatives. Not many snacks, though. But there is a rule in general when you are going to see someone, you never go with empty hands. You always take some food and wine with you when going to see friends or family. So, we are food lovers too, even when our food doesn't look very tempting to foreigners :D Every gathering usually has a huge amount of food, especially when the older generation is involved. But as you mentioned, we do not invite people very often out of our usual circle, so these things may stay unseen and happen behind the curtains ;)
This. If someone invited me to have tea/coffee at their home, I would take cake or biscuits with me! I've always been taught it's rude to go empty-handed. However, I've noticed that this tradition is dying among younger people (younger than 30, I mean). Maybe I'm wrong.
agreed, im 27 and i never really picked up that habit.
I am not sure if it's dying, but might be less common. I'm 24 and still whenever I go to see a friend or visit someone I feel wrong not bringing something. It's kinda built in me as being polite and nice. Seems wrong not to. I don't live in Estonia anymore, and here in Sweden people find it odd, but I just can't help myself, it feels wrong to go somewhere and not bring gifts.
About hugging and shaking hands. You have to be quite close to the person to hug if you're leaving or meeting them. Hugging basically a stranger or not that close acquaintance is considered very weird. Most people don't shake hands when meeting friends. Shaking hands is more of a russian culture thing, estonians usually don't shake hands but if a local russian wants to shake hands then estonians do shake back but don't feel that comfortable doing that.
Only when you know the russian and they make the first move (or you if): it means you know them and you trust them and they trust you :)
I think the reason for not really knowing your neighbors comes from the fact that classically large apartment buildings built during the soviet days were basically just for sleeping and the waking hours would be spent elsewhere - working or tending a garden (usually in a separate location) or visiting relatives or at the summer home or spending time in the city. Back then people would stay at home to watch TV, but not to socialize with people in the same building.
The whistleling story is told to children because it's just annoying if someone whistles in house. Don't think many actually believe it's bad luck 😊
Whistling can also be categorized as keeping to yourself in public. Just because you like to whistle doesn't mean everyone else wants to hear you whistle.
That's also Swedish, I think. It was in a Moomintroll story. You should never whistle at a theatre.
People in Estonia just want there peace and quiet? I can get behind that ❤
I refuse to believe that smiling at strangers is the norm around the world.
Uhm...not exactly smiling indiscriminately at everyone you happen to pass by. But more like discreetly acknowledging another person exists near you, no matter how brief or transitory the meeting is. Too many big city people are in such a rush that they treat other people around them as if they're invisible, and depending on the situation it can come off as very self-centered and rude. Of the cities I know well- Stockholm can be like that and New York even more so!
When the opposite gender smiles at you in a traditional society, you know what that means right? Also, if you hug the opposite gender that’s not your family member, then it means only one thing for the most part.
that doesn't even happen in my small village where everyone knows everyone. when we don't say hello we just nod. maybe some smile, but i know i don't
Here in South Africa, we SMILE!
Here in the South (USA), we smile and chat! Connections are so important. I've gained so much perspective by being the recipient of many unsolicited conversations. How to get stains out of clothes, new recipes, dating advice, who has the best coffee and etc.. All those interactions have been such a gift. *Don't miss the opportunity to share this life.*
The current US “compulsory” tipping culture is because of low wages for waiters etc. They are not paid a living wage. I would give a tip only for an exceptionally pleasant service.
As an Estonian, just found your channel, and its really interesting to watch
Tere Tulemast
Love your videos, it's so fun to hear about Estonia from a different perspective
Glad you enjoy it!
When you don't live in an apartment, you usually know all your neighbors.
I've lived in my apartment for almost 3 years and I don't know the names of any residents. It's a small complex with 8 apartments
I'm from Latvia, but I think I understand Estonians, we have always lived in separated houses not in villages, so - strangers are strange. But the reason why we really don't trust the first stranger is KGB times when your closest person could betray you (meaning your and probably your families death). Also there are a lot of superstitions, they're funny, whistling indoors not welcomed also in Latvia, meaning - there will be no money. But if we will talk some words with you - you will be welcomed that no fake smile, no fake words could compare. All of our feelings are deep and real.
If I feel like whistling, I'll whistle. I hate this, I dunno, very Catholic approach to life - don't whistle, it's a sign of joy! And if something brings you joy, you better believe it's a sin! Screw that mindset.
@@kraanz its actually not catholic approach its totaly pagan. Estonia Was last pagan stronghold in Europe and even when crusaders concuered us it took almost 2 centurys to breake our will and root out big part of our traditions, thouse whatthey coulnt root out they integrated to Christianity
We don’t smile when walking on street because we have lot of thoughts and we don’t pay attention to surrounding :-). Finnish comedian ISMO would say that we are very smart when we have so much thoughts, but Latvians would joke that our main thoughts are “What is this tanned guy with beard thinking about me? Why is he laughtnig, is there something wrong with me?” So go figure what is correct :-)
I hadnt noticed the handshaking thing before but damn now that Im thinking about it its so accurate. My dad only shakes his best friends hand (they have been best friends for almost 20 years) on his birthday, on the new year when everyone is wishing each other a happy new year and when our family trips end successfully (as in they have managed to herd 12 people in 3 different cars for 3 days straight without any casualties).
The whole country is like a library... it's so true 😂😂😂
🤫
@@MananAnwar As Estonian do not argue with that! :)
Street food. Estonia joined the European Union and had to comply with the rules. In Estonia, there is a Food and Veterinary Agency that monitors compliance with the rules. In order to offer food, there must be a certificate of health, one must undergo food hygiene training, one must have a quality of washing dishes that is in line with food hygiene requirements. I myself have sold food at home and fulfilled these conditions. I have been to festivals in Germany. The organizer of the art festival prepared food for his cafe. Germany is trusted more in the European Union and the rules are a bit more relaxed. But the rules are stricter in areas of the former German Democratic Republic. This is what my East German friends in Sweden told me. This is not discrimination. It's a matter of reputation. Newcomers have to prove themselves. The topic of street food is also related to climatic conditions and competition. Also with people's standard of living.
Yes to the library like atmosphere! I visited my son, who is living in Tallinn, and he said my daughter and I were getting the side eye because we were chatting and laughing like normal in a coffee shop. So interesting because generally we are viewed as quiet overall. I'm going back in a few weeks and I can't wait. I loved Tallinn and I am thrilled to get to see more of it.
A big open air library.
I had a woman speaking english come up to me in a grocery store to ask for help. I just did what she asked, nodded and smile while she thanked me thousend times. I didnt speak a word, my anxiety just made me forget how to speak english 😭
Other time I just helped a man pick up things from the ground cuz his bag broke right infront of me, he spoke in english too thanking me and I just said absolutly nothing and left 💀
The hugging/handshake thing is half true. You give them a handshake for accomplishments, when first meeting them or if you are not going to see them for a while (like months) or seeing them in a while.
Yep, true.
hugging is very common if you are drunk :D and that is also very common. shaking with firm hand is absolutely true.
Ära vilista toas, tuba läheb külmaks. We do have street food at summer, mostly ice cream. It's 23 ºC outside, it's sooo hot! I do small talk with strangers if I see they are in trouble. I am so helpful.
Hi,
I’m writing to you from Toronto and want you to know how much I enjoy your comments about Estonia and Estonians. I was born in Estonia in 1941. However, now that I’m Canadian, Estonia is still in my heart. We Estonians in Canada have lived a very multicultural life and we have become louder, smiling individuals with friends at our dining table from all around the world. Estonians are slowly going to change with the influx of immigrants and that is a very good thing.
So good to hear from you. Comments like yours make my day. Please reach out to me on IG. Would love to know more. :)
There were a few laugh out loud moments in your video for me. Two weeks in Tallinn and I saw much of what you said. Of course, I know that two weeks is not long enough to see everything and know everything, but yep, you nailed it.
Thank you
also, what's the point of small talk - why would you spend any time in meaningless exchange of statements of the obvious?
My family has always been prone to tipping, I guess it depends on people. However we don't tip if the service is not good.
Whistling inside would be considered quite rude, true.
If I drink tea with a friend we usually have some snacks too, not much but something. Most Estonians would rather have coffee though.
About shoes - it's also about showing respect for household that you're visiting. It's disrespectful to come inside with shoes on, kind of equal to sitting into someone's car with very dirty clothes. But in hotels nobody cares, you are living in the room and you can make the floor as dirty as you like.
Me as estonian, i tried to make small talk and they thought i was police... Thats real deal indeed .
That’s harsh 😂
As an Estonian, fully agree. I do have seen quite a few things change compared to like 10+ years ago: more street food, people (especially younger ones) being more open in public and smiling more. With the last one I myself had an experience around 15 years ago. Was a nice sunny and warm spring day. I was waiting for my city bus to go home. I felt really nice and decided to smile at people in the bus. Oh my... if looks could kill xD
I do like the tipping culture. You tip only when the service is good or exceptional.
South estonians are way more open and kind than northern. People in the capital are very closed up
i would like to live in Estonia some day...i love it
I am an Indian and was learning about Estonia. It is a huge culture shock, I'd say. I like the part where people are straight forward. Goes well for the work environment but it's really hard to digest that folks in Estonia would be so straight forward even outside of workplace.
May be one learning I have taken from your videos and comments is that people in Estonia do not engage in conversations unless you are very close to them. As a foreigner, I guess I'd have missed that bus where I could make bonds with fellow Estonians from childhood. In such a case, would one be able to make friends in Estonia?
Making friends will be hard. But it can be done.
Thank you for create this kind of content for the people that is interesting for moving to Estonia. Good explanation in an objective way, thanks again! You have been another suscriptor!
The neighbor knowing thing is generally pretty situational. I have had both experiences of living in an apartment and knowing almost all of my neighbors, and living in a single family home, not knowing anyone in the surrounding houses.
also, may be germans can explain, what's the point in opening a shop until 17.00, if no one can attend it during working hours? The 4 hours after 17.00 would have twice as use as 8 hours until 17.00
I was thinking the same. And shops there are completely closed on Sundays, not sure about Saturdays.
I almost always tip but the difference is I guess that it is not semi-mandatory like in some countries.
Stores... compared to southern Europe the stores are open way longer.
Everything else is mostly accurate but there are always exceptions. Great vid!!
Estonia sounds perfect. All that silence and solitude. Dream land.
As an Estonian... all 100% correct! :D
Valid points! However, smaller places in Southern Estonia, especially in Setomaa are exceptionally chatty and do not follow this rule, I believe. You have random older ppl coming over to chat in the bus stop with strangers, etc.
Now I want to visit Setomaa.
I am up to number 5, I am in, that is who I am, no hugs, no handshakes only fist bumps.
I am not neighborly, I like privacy, I do not like to get out much either.
I look forward to the rest, I have a feeling I feel comfortable about all of this since my ancestors came from that part of the world.
@@BG-tf8bo The pandemic special situation was absolute heaven. After the restrictions ended I had severe social anxiety because how many people suddenly were out
Avoiding ppl, too. In a bus, when there are 3 people inside, one sits on the front, the other on the back and the third one right in the middle. It's considered creepy and potentially harrassing when you sit next to someone in a half empty bus. Also, as an introverted Estonian, I go to swim the earliest in the morning in a local pool complex and use the facilities there bc it's the time when almost no one is there. I feel awkward when I have to share a small jacuzzi with strangers so I only use it when it's free and in case others are coming in, I'll soon be going. And you have to do everything you can to avoid sitting right next to strangers, as well. It's ok only when all other places are taken.
An interesting description of cultural differences. I'm a Canadian who has lived in Stockholm, Sweden for many years. It surprised me how much of what you observed also applies to many people in the Nordic countries. Some of these differences I've adapted to while others still seem a bit peculiar. Nowadays, I like the relative silence on buses and the subway. People talking TOO LOUD, either on their phones or to their equally loud friends is not pleasant nor considerate. On the other hand, hugging of casual acquaintances has become endemic now in Sweden, some sort of PC ritual. Personally, I'm not fond of it. I prefer to reserve shows of genuine affection to people I really care about and not to people I barely know-where "See ya or Nice meeting you!"would be good enough.
True, no need for disposal of energy, when there is no energy to acquire. I'm estonian. Meet, greet, ok, cool.
The culture feels more because of effect of Soviet union. I have friends from china and Russia who use to speak low and never used to laugh (not smile) and they are very afraid to speak in public. Guess it will change in Estonia too as they are moving away from Soviet way of living
talking about hugging, this reminds me of this one time when I was still in middle school and my cousin had come over for summer(we got really close). when she was leaving via train she came in for a hug and out of utter shock of such a situation I stepped back and said no, she got shocked as well and slapped me. she did call me later and apologize for overreacting. This became a core memory and after that when someone wants to hug me i just go with it - its not like im losing something, and its a rare occurence.
The smiling thing is odd I have to admit. But its connected to our thinking. Smiling too much to perfect strangers is like talking too much. you can't handle your emotions and are probably not reliable and sus. Its also due to the Soviet time and KGB there people mutually distrusted each-other and the Gulag system. So people literally feel you wanna steal their golden tooth, then you smile on the street. You do that then you know a person closer and he/she is in your inner circle. You can even not smile to your coworkers depending on the level of intimacy you're at. At the Bus you have your Warface on. You have seen that catface meme, what is supposed to be a smily. That's the Estonian inner smile :P
The taking off your shoes, is due to Estonians being focused on how they are perceived outside, and if you enter with your shoes, it might ruin the carpet or something, or be hard to clean. Its like having lack of respect for the Household, who invited you. That includes burping and farting at dinner table which is largely throwned upon and I am guilty of sometimes >//////< Its not only the snow, but also the gravel and dirt what can lodge on your shoes or wilted leafs. All shoes are left to Esik, they usually have a place of holding like in Japan. OwO
"If you whistle indoors you burn down the house" normally russian jittebuggers and gangsters do that, so please DONT! Its connected to reporting the Kulacs and Kulag. The KGB whistled alot. Also don't slur at the dinner table, because you can be kicked out for it. Which brings us to the infamous slur" Sina räägid siis kui kana pissib!" "You shall talk then the hen takes a piss!" which is awarded to the wordy child, who occupies all the conversation or too chattery woman. Am quilty of that crime, I am a Walgekaaren (White Raven) OwO Normally the talk goes through a hierarchy and its not polite to interupt people. Seniority matters alot. It is not polite always win the argument, then somebody older is wrong, because thats seen as though you slandered that person. (Y)
Everything in Estonia is reserved, so we don't openly share our feelings, until we don't know you better. We do hug, but its almost like kissing between couples and very private, which we don't wanna do in public but things are changing and mixing up... OwO shaking hands is reserved for business deals, and due to Estonians wanting to make every word count, and talking very little, you should also shake hands very little, because you basically accepting that person into your sacred space. :o If your handshake is limp, it means, you dont respect that man and are looking down on him. Also don't squeese too hard, because the other might brake your arm, know your limits, just as with alcohol. (Y)
When you attend the Tea Break you mostly take something with you, especially if you can cook, because you're part of the family now. You should ask about what is needed so there is no excess or dublication which can happen. There are several traditions due to us being influenced by Germans; Swedes; Russians so you sometimes drink Earl Gray with milk or with lemon, or without. You can have a coffee break, and the coffee can be Tar. Literally the strongest heart stopping thing you can imagine. There is believed if a woman can make her boyfriend drink it, then he's in love, then he complains, he's not. Our special lovers potion. People really respect you, then you can drink your coffee and tea raw and strong. You never invited to the Tea Break casually but there must be an important occasion what needs to be commended at workplace or otherwise in your life worthy of respect. Vastla Kukkel is only eaten at Vastlapäev (Shrove Tuesday; Pancake Tuesday, which is at 47 days before Easter Sunday. There are various traditions with that day, including eating the Green Pee soup and making the longest slide with the sledge. He/She who wins gets married first. You can eat it casually too, but Estonians will not follow.
We had it that the shops closed just like in the World but after the Soviet Union collapsed it gradually got more relaxed until the current day, there shops are open late. People can't go to shop, because they are working until late hours and those late hours are for those people, who come back from their 12 hour shifts. Smalltalk is spam. You need to know that person really well, so you could smalltalk him. because every word needs to mean something and you need to have something to say, before you commune with an Estonian, or you shall be avoided and be weary upon. We also don't like inbouncers, the new cultural thing, then teenagers invite people to the store and stuff, because it involves smalltalk. I got even warned at my church teasingly, if I dare to accept such a job, then they will start evading me on the streets. You have to be a serious person, who is respectable, and smalltalk doesn't give much chance to that... :o Another good reason, aside the foreigners, who can smalltalk, are missionaries and social workers, who mostly deal with homeless people and street folk. Those are also respected, then they do the inbouncer thing. It is otherwise seen as a grift then money is involved.
We used to have street food, but it died out due to politics and liberalism :v You would have to go to the open market to get the ingredients and do it yourself. Those places can still hold street food vendors. Its too expencive to compete with the large conglomerates. I give you an example, a friend of mine, who sells AmWay now, had this gig of making the best Fried Chicken in town, but then the corporations got wind of it and made the same product cheaper, and musckles him out of the market. Xompetition is fierce we have too many market stores comopeting for the same custoemers. You can literally have 3-4 different client cards because its discount every single day of the year on something. Maybe you can find 8 days per year, there nothing is on discount, the end result. No street vendors :o
Learn to obtain your Warface, so you don't celebrate or talk too loudly. It is regarded as lack of respect and restraint, then you fill the entire room with your emotions. :o We don't have a tipping culture, but we love to haggle and hustle. Its quickly changing and mixing up, I don't mind to occasionally tip, then I want the store to hang around longer. OwO People are not very rich so thats one of the reasons, why.
Another great video. Keep doing your thing. :P
It's not that the handshake should be very firm. It should be an appropriate level of firmness, it shouldn't give pain to the other person but should be reassuringly firm.
Yeah, but if you drop a "jello" in others hand, you will not be thought of well (unless you have medigal reason), especially by men.
Loving your channel Manan! Agree with pretty much everything but the hugging. But this could be just my social circle. If you're friends with someone, no matter if guy or gal, it would be considered almost rude if there was no hugs involved. Maybe even a little peck on the cheek if in a festive mood. If you're in the friend zone most Estonians I know are super touchy-feely.
Also while there is no tipping culture, it's actually very easy and much appreciated. You don't have to carry cash, in most places you can just ask to add a couple of euros to your bill and the staff will get their tips in cash at the end of the workday. I'm actually surprised restaurants aren't communicating this more forcefully that it's an option.
I live in a private house and I frequently talk to all my neighbours, apart from one. The outlier has installed a 2-2.5 m privacy hedge around his property, that’s why. Although, he and his family very rarely spend any time in their yard. The only movement there can be attributed to a robomower.
My grandma always said no whistle long indoors.
In Asia like Japan, there are no shoes indoors. It is common sense because you don't bring dirt inside. For me, it is a full to watch when people go indoors with their shoes and jump in bed with those.
If you live countryside and you live in a house or little village. Everybody knows their neighbours, but we don't visit or talk to them all the time.
Yes, tipping is not a must, but you can always tip if you want and staff will be very happy (they earn minimum salary or less). Paying with card is never a problem, you can tip with card. You just have to let staff know how much you want to tip them and they will change the sum for the card terminal. I, myself, always leave a tip when I eat or drink somewhere where everything is served to you to your table.
If u wanna tip just leave cash on the table, or in the box where the bill comes.
Whistling! OMG this was a huge challenge for me especially since I whistle a lot. I got several warnings before it stuck that I'm not supposed to whistle indoors
Dont understand who are those people around You - still havent heard anything against whistling. Very strange.
@@Raiaramis24 Not about whistling in general but whistling indoors is very undesired.
I have noticed that smalltalk exists, but only when people get drunk enough. I have had successful smalltalk in pubs in the queue for the toilet or outside where people smoke.
Smokers are a sort of "club" they can do smalt talk even with strangers. Smoking areas are considered places where people chat and get to know new people. Smoking rooms at offices used to be places, where problems were solved and new people (smokers) accepted to the "family".
Everything depends on the region, nothern estonia (mostly harjumaa) is much quieter than anywhere in the countryside.
About number five. Estonians have usually a set of friends, co-workers, relatives, or from some other place, and they communicate with them. No need to add another set.
when the bill is brought to your table you can say "change it to xx" or something if you want to tip and then you can tip with a card, it doesn't work everywhere but most places allow it.
Huging: when you met your siblings you actually hug them but just friends you don't hug so much or it's just me. Beacuse of that i'm a teenager boy we don't do anything, we just say "goodbye" or don't say anything and leave in Estonia (at least at my friends zone).
Smiling, Small Talk, Manners (saying Please and Thank You): But slowly changing.
All of these are absolutely true, like i never talk to my neighboar, never.
we have shops open from 9 - 22 there are, of course, exceptions such as 10 - 19 in the countryside
Great videos! Thank you! Greetings from 🇺🇸
It is accustumary to take off your shoes when you enter the home but not always. It is very usual for the host to say "don't take your shoes off" (ära jalast ära võta). Usually when it is a short period visit. It is not rude to take your shoes off anyway.
handshake is not only a reserved welcome but also a know to person ritual
Shoes indoors and specially at home - never I want to use them inside. In my experience people in Latvia, Lithuania, Denmark, Finland, Sweden and Norway in most cases are taking shoes off at home as well. I think in Russia as well. Whistling in doors - this is new to me. Dinner - mostly birthdays and barbeque. Neighbors - completely true. I do not even know why is it like that. Some kind of "do not disturb and keep the privacy" thing... Shops opening time has been changed over the years. In soviet times shops were closed for sure after 5, later some where open even 24/7, specially gas-stations and so one. Small talk is getting better - younger people have experience prom other countries, and it is not as strange as it was years ago. I worked in Ireland in a shop for one year in my early 20-s, and small talk with strangers is absolutely normal to me if possible. Street food in eastern countries is amazing. I think that short summer might be one reason it is not common in Estonia as it is only seasonable. Beeing quieter than most nations - for sure. Don`t also know is it bad or good... Tiping - personally I like the way it is! Please add the extra cost to the bill in my opinion! Smiling to strangers - it is getting better. I can feel it with my own experience! Of course it is far away from kindness of most of the nations! Very good videos and good arguments! Keep going!
Nabour thing is in Tallinn and few bigest cities in Estonia🇪🇪 in every small place/town/vilage nabours are close.
Good video, in my opinion, as an Estonian, quite 100% accurate 🙂
I would actually argue against the 3rd point, men hugging and shaking hands. It really does depend on people, and I hug my friends every time I see them, and the same with handshaking, it's just a generally nice thing to do, a show of respect.
But maybe I'm just weird.
Its a really good thing, and I hope more men become like this :)
You can tip when paying by card/mobile, when you especially like the food or service etc. Just tell the sum you're willing to pay.
Great video, thank you so so much! 🙌 I'm Spanish and I'll go to Estonia in September, I'll stay there for 10 months, so I truly appreciate all this information... Spain is completely different 😅 but I really like many things about Estonia, so I'm very excited! (I won't show it too much, anyway 😂).
Welcome and let me know when you’re here.
@@MananAnwar It'll be a pleasure
Welcome! It is nice to have you here. I hope that you will be open minded :)
my friends had spanish friends over and went to supermarket together. everything normal, got all stuff needed, then spanish friend asked: er... you have some national mourning going on or smth? referring to every body being as quiet as possible in shop :D also, have your sun lamp with you for winter. or book sun bed in spa. no sun gets to everybody, even if cold is no problemo.
@@SiiriRebane I can totally imagine that situation 😂 And if supermarkets are noisy here in Spain, public transport is just... crazy! It must be a shock at the beginning. Anyway, I really like that about Estonia, among many other things 🥰 Also thank you very much for the advice about the (no) sun, I'll keep it in mind!
You should record audiobooks, you have such a nice voice!
Pretty good list. I agree with all of them. It's good to see that a foreigner coming to Estonia has learned our culture.
Another well made and prepared (good rounded info) video.
Major kudos 👍
Thank you. Glad to have you here.
@@MananAnwar
Glad to be able to participate.
ATM still on treatment (was in ER last week as the reason/problem i had to cansel got worse) but will definetly let you know when am able boddied enought.
Also thanks for the reply 😄👍
Estonia sounds like a paradise for social culture, no stranger interaction or small talk
My expat spouse asked over a neighbour I have never seen and he met him the first time. I seriously thought I have to call to the mental center... Also, I was not home at the time. I think he still can't understand how much of a line he crossed that night.
Foreigners get a pass.
@@MananAnwar my spouse will never get a pass from me lol you funny :D
I agree with all of your observations. Though I do feel that we are slowly getting more welcoming and friendly.
I grew up in Tallinn and moved to Pärnu in my late twenties. The weirdest thing I have noticed is that some pedestrians wait until all cars have passed. Some people even wave at the cars to pass or step back from the pedestrian crossing sign to let the cars pass
Thanks for commenting. I agree, Estonia has changed quite a lot in the last 10 years I have been here. But I have only lived in urban areas so I don't think it is a good representation of all of Estonia.
@@MananAnwar Ha! Most estonians consider Pärnu as a major city! 😁 It's 4th by population after Tallinn, Tartu and Narva. With cashiers if you are polite and greet them, then you get "Tere!" and "Palun!" in return everywhere in Estonia. Otherwise the cashiers think that you are rude/tired/preoccupied etc. Except in North-eastern Estonia, there you get dumb looks or Russian niceties at best. As an ethnic Estonian and a person with autistic traits I really appreciate that the customer service people don't 'attack' you with "Can I help you? What are you looking for?" and rather wait for you to ask for help
Bigger and better chains like Selver are open until 22.00 or 23.00 daily, Konsum/Coop usually similar. Some Prisma stores are open 24/7. Markets close early and Rimi closes early often.
Smalltalk is not northern European thing. Considered breach of privacy and waste of time and energy.
We'd like to keep tipping culture the same - servers get paid legal salary for their work and tip should only be given when there was extra good service or you were left extra satisfied with something. In this case tipping is easy, you just leave few coins on the table, when leaving. Servers here don't depend on tips for salary (like in USA) and should be only tipped for cases when there's something special to the service or food.
Tallinn is in Estonia but Estona isn't Tallinn. Tallinn has different traditions, countryside IS different. At large- for most Estonians Tallinn is just for work (making money) and sleep. For weekends people go back home to countryside, to their own people. Real Estonian life and relationships in general happen outside of Tallinn. Tallinn is filled too much with tourists, forigners, especially russian speakers, soviet mentality people left from soviet times, and therefore people trust people less in Tallinn, and Estonians don't always feel at home in Talllinn anymore. Totally different culture from countryside, where people communicate with neighbours, willages have strong communities and festivities etc. Where people trust people a lot. Naturally there are 100% city dwellers too, but they usually have no clue of Estonian traditions, they sort of lost the culture and roots and also they lost the ability to build/fix stuff with their own hands.
Nicely done. Like the chapters. A follow up video of which are Estonian, which are Soviet, and which are European features might be nice. The ways the Russian occupation changed Estonian culture might also be a nice spinoff topic. Not knowing your neighbours is likely a feature of Soviet culture because you did not live where you liked, but where the government allowed you. It also meant you spoke softly, wore dull colours, and did not try to attract attention, positive or negative, to yourself so that the NKVD and KGB left you alone. I notice that other channels like The Russian Dude use surveys to collect data. So you could do a survey for each cultural issue and see how many others have it or an alternative. Here in Lithuania, it is often felt by older people that a person who does not drink alcohol with you cannot be trusted. Until you have been really drunk with someone, you have no idea what secrets they might be hiding, goes the philosophy. Being invited into a home may be connected with that. The Russian Dude also uses surveys to promote videos, which is necessary since UA-cam promotes his surveys but rarely his videos. Thus the survey for this video could list the 12 items as ask which is the strangest for readers. Or maybe they know a stranger one.
@Manan Anvar Foreigner ticket! Yes! 😂 Nice name for that phenomenon! I suppose we just go with the hug to avoid awkward decline. And I'm a woman.
And about shaking hand for the first time you meet someone.. My grandmother taught me as a young girl that a handshake has to be right kind of firm (not like handing someone a dead fish). Also when you meet someone and shake their hand they also give you evaluation by your handshake. ;)
I don't think we have tea breaks. We have parties, dinners and BBQs. And most of them (if not for small kids) take place in the evening or at least on the second half of the day.
If a stranger starts small talking to me in public then they are probably interested in me (that's an Estonians' point of view).
I think the tipping culture is changing. Our family tips about 10% when we are happy with the food and service (I hope those who are wealthier, give more :D ).
Super! You nailed it! That,s us! Thank You!
...and 🙃😉🥰come and visit south Estonia...
Would love to. DM me on IG.
Nice information
I think that openness in rural areas could be influenced by environment. They have more open space to live in, often they have to take a hike to borrow a cup of sugar from the neighbor. We poor town rats live literally on top of each other in huge buildings, so we replace the physical space with the mental armor. Especially older generation, who experienced thin walls, chock-full buses (you had to squeeze for a moment to let the doors close), crowding in front of counters, etc.
When I was little we lived in a pre-war building with only 8 flats, no hot water, and there everybody knew and visited each other. After we moved into the new flat, we just greeted the people we occasionally met on the stairs. Even after growing up I have had visiting-level relations with only 3 families. (Neighborhood kids don't count, we just played together and then went 'iga roju oma koju' (every malnourished miserable to its own home)).
After cars became more available, families were not depending so much on public transport and could move from flat to house in the suburbs giving children more space. Maybe that's why post-SU generations are more huggy.
Nice video, In this video we see Estionian very closely ❤❤❤❤
As an Estonian, I tip rarely, Ive done it maybe 3-4 times in my life. I only do it if the difference between the bill and the amount I'm giving is really small say for example the bill is 12€ and i give 15€ i tell them "Pole vaja tagasi anda!" :)
And also sometimes there are situations where they dont have any change to give back, so they prefer if the perfect amount is given.
So truth and so interesting!
1. Shoes - Climate
2. Whistling - No problem.
3. Dinner - Yes, we are more introverted, so it doesn't happen often. But not all that special.
4. Hugging - not a thing. Shaking hands - very common.
5. About neighbours - True. We don't feel forced to socialize.
6. Tea break - yes, no snacks.
7. Shops - They're open late.
8. No small talk with strangers. It's kind of bad we're so introverted and/or reserved.
9. Our street food is improving. Nothing like Asia of course.
10. Emotional in public - As said before, and as you may know, we are just reserved people who don't get rowdy, but it's not considered crazy to do so. When we feel comfortable and let loose, we can be very loud.
11. We don't tip. Everyone gets their salary. But this culture is somewhat coming over. I always tip the couriers who deliver food. They always appreciate it.
12. Smiling - Pretty much the same as point 10. Not a big deal at all. People smile for all kinds of reasons. If they look at you and smile, they like you. It's not weird at all.
You can add a tip even if you pay by card, not everywhere and it's not very welcome because of transaction fees and taxes, so the waiter gets a lesser amount, but if you ask, they mostly add tips. I mostly have no problem with that(except for a couple of times in the last 7 years)
Nice video man. iDK we still have tea breaks with the same things, dried goods.
Smiling in London is normal ❤
interesting video. as a local, i challenge some of these rules with my behavior. like smiling at strangers lol, and tipping, even though i don't want the culture to change and for tipping to become expected by employers, but it's just nice to leave something for the person who brought me food.
the street food thing is definitely related to the climate imo.
interesting point about inviting people to dinner, i don't think I've ever been invited to dinner at anyones place.
the community culture overall is weak for sure. its quite sad. i think it's the cultural legacy of the kind of oppression we endured.
i do appreciate not being expected to interact with people though lol.
I try not to, but I sometimes do judge people a little bit if their handshake is weak 😅
I always give tip whenever I visit a restaurant but yeah the issue is that you can usually do this in cash only.
about whistling: my gran always told me off and gave same reason for forbidding whistling indoors. only recently i cracked the code: if you are parent and tell children to stop whistling bc it's annoying, they ignore/forget. if you tell them it brings bad luck and fire, they listen and remember better. about taking off shoes: i sadly miss olden times (1930s) when esp in towns ppl wore galoshes/overshoes on their street shoes and took the former off when entering a house and leaving the latter on, thusly not worried about exposing their socks to elements inside said house. :)
other things, might be considered crazy, but i still observe some: never put bread loaf on its back. bad luck, esp, lady of the house might die. never put cut loaf in position where cut end faces door. food walks out of door, i.e. hunger comes. better not: mend or sew button on clothing while person is wearing it, esp. child or pregnant person: stops child growing or brings illness to person. never point your finger at rainbow - rainbow gets angry and all kinds of bad things happen - finger drops off, gets rotten, or worst: rain stops coming, drought comes.
Very interesting comment. Thank you for sharing.
Putting bread on the "back" doesn't mean back luck, it means that you show disrespect to bread. Bread should always be honored, as any other food because they're hard to come by - a lot of work and a lot of risks. Therefore bread should always be on the "belly", whatever food was put onto the plate, should be eaten and not thrown away. If bread fell onto floor, you'd have to pick it up and kiss it. Disrespecting bread and food will lead to hunger. Also bread whould never be handed to another human on the knife - this is the way one would give bread to wolves not humans.
Tipping in some companies are even forbidden. You should treat all customers equally good, and shouldn't get benefits for your work from clients.. equality and avoid of corruption
we actually have street food in some places in Estonia like Pärnu, Tallinn and Tartu but not a lot beacuse we are mostly introverts
(I just wanted to make a point)
True.