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Damn this one hit home. For some reason same thought she was the one. I work our everyday for past 10 years so being fit never an issue, financially stable etc she even thought or women think I’m a player and I sorta am. But when I met her and everything went good for over 6 month got less attention. I still don’t understand the peddle stool theory etc. if you can elaborate the behavior and how to fix it, I would appreciate it.
I was once obsessed with "the one". It's the most ridiculous thing ever, something you look back on and think "what the hell was I thinking?". But in that moment it seems like a big deal.
I was the same, when I went to college 23 years ago I thought I was obliged to meet the one and marry her up. I had a complete beta sniper mentality. Its such a huge mistake for guys to make. If there are any younger men reading this please do not make this mistake.
I call it "Sforza's Coffee Cup." Where, when you're younger, having had limited experience in things, it's like your "world" is the size of a Baeista table. So something the sixe of a coffee cup taking up space on it, is a rather significant deal. However, I once you get older and have more experiences (Especially more "coffee cups" and perspective altering ones like War in a third world country), you'll find that now your world is the size of the entire restaurant (And still growing). Where something like a coffee cup on a batista table... Is wholly insignificant because you have many tables with other stuff on them. Hell, there's "Coffee cups" piled en masse in the back, so what.
been there...early 20s and thought she was my whole world..what a waste of time and money i was a idiot....she dumped me and had a kid few years later...i am on my third investment property and making mid six figures...so glad i finally accepted true female nature and avoided marriage...
My uncle once told me - " Women are like buses......They're cheap, available to anyone and it's usually a rough ride. But if you miss one, there's another one coming down the road in a few minutes."
I wasted almost a year of my life chasing who I thought was 'the one'. Beautiful, educated, two kids who I loved and I was oblivious to the fact that she was still on dating sites and actively seeking out other guys while saying she was committed to me. I felt like a fool when I ended things and she told me I would never find another like her. I truly hope not. No one deserves that.
You can't have a relationship without social media and cell phone transparency. Most women will never concede that to you and tells you everything you need to know. 50 percent of women admit to having a backup option and these are supposed to women in committed relationships. When you care more about the relationship than she does it will fail every time. The furthest you should ever take it is living together in a no common law state women change their minds on a whim making them less desirable than ever in terms of commitment
The best feeling any man can get, is waking up after the breakup, in a bedsit/Mum’s spare bedroom or a friend’s sofa realising that it’s truly over... and the knot in their stomach is gone. That day is the first day of the rest of your life.
@@thebesttheworst2277 I can only agree. Start a gentle walking regime. Then do some weights every other day. Rope jump and hitting a heavy bag. Life just automatically gets better from there. Good luck fellas.
There are great women out there, I’ve met a few. As you continue to work and build yourself better, you’ll meet better women. Also you have to be in an area where there are high value attractive women
@@MrHydevsDrJekyll ok so have you been in a marriage? Or a 6 year plus relationship? Holding masculine frame in a marriage or serious ltr is just pure luck she doesn't turn on you and all that money you make shes spending it. If you don't then shes off to someone she can get her hands on their money and if you have a prenup then sure you might not get taken to the cleaners, although pre nups are useless and easy to get around, your stupid if you believe that worthless document will stand up in court, but what's the point of commitment to one women.... if that's the case, better to be single and pump n dump.
I did chase “the one” after we broke up in my early 20’s. But she wanted to play hard to get games, so I moved on. Been married twenty years now, and every time I see her out somewhere, she makes sure to slip it in to let her know if I’m ever single again. She’s been married and divorced 5 times! Looks like I dodged a bullet there. Even if I did become single again, she’s a giant red flag.
Vox, she definitely sabotaged herself. With 5 divorces and several short term boyfriends, her relationship skills are lousy. The fact that she was playing games, tells me: 1: She is hugely insecure about herself. 2: She has the attitude of - no man is good enough. 3: When there are issues, the problem must be the man's fault, which means, 4: She does not have the ability to take accountability for what she puts into a relationship, or what she fails to do. Congratulations on your happy marriage with your sweetheart! 🙂 Happy Holidays to you and your family. 🎄
If she rejected you once before you just gotta get in your head & accept the fact that you'll never be happy with her is what a methodist minister once said to me. As I thought about it makes sense. In my thoughts youll always be worried about someone else stealing her away. Always afraid of losing her. Youll be worried about her at work, you'll be worried about her when she goes to the grocery store. You'll always be worried about her leaving you. She is not the one for you.
Yup, I sometimes fall into this still. She was obviously the problem, but you sometimes slip into thinking about what you could have done different instead of what SHE could have done
A woman must have competition anxiety. She must feel that you could leave her at any point if she mistreats you. If she doesn’t, you have no chance of keeping her.
But you might not be able to keep her if she fears you replacing her too. I don’t know if making someone feel insecure is a way to keep them, it definitely doesn’t sound healthy. But I do think women should respect their men and treat them like gods, I do with mine. But he doesn’t make me feel replaceable. If he did I don’t think I would feel safe in the relationship. She shouldn’t be mistreating you, but you shouldn’t have to make her feel like you’ll drop her at any second to achieve her respect and love.
@@wernerranchlife8677 that's not what the poster intended, it's the understanding that a women is not the only option, love and affection is unconditional but respect is necessary, whenever women get with men that nobody wants, they feel like they got the bad end of the deal but if they see other women being interested in the guy it keeps them in the head space that the guy is not some peasant they can disrespect
I spent years brethren....YEARS beating myself up over her. Sleepless nights and obsessing over what I could have done differently. I went all in and tried so hard to be the best man I could be for her. I lost myself and my self respect. I found the redpill and went to work. The more you study and ignore all the RUBBISH we've been forced to believe? Is the moment you start to live for real. You are the prize. You are your bestfriend and rock! Never forget it! Thanks Rich. You saved my life and your book is at the top of my library!!!
One week before I turned 21, my first girlfriend broke my heart when she skipped town with a POS bad boy who was supposed to have been her ex-boyfriend. I learned that our one-year relationship had been a diversion, to make her parents think that she was no longer seeing the bad boy. I had a mental meltdown that resulted in me spending months in a darkened room reciting Shakespeare (especially Macbeth’s soliloquy in act five, scene five) to my Colt 1911. I had been an incel before I met the girl. You can imagine how hard I fell. When I became functional again, I found that I had become psychologically incapable of feeling anything for a female. I am almost 63 now and have had two disastrous marriages. I still cannot feel anything positive for a female.
That's tough. You can't change the past, but I hope in the present and future you know what you are worth and your priority is you. I hope the rest of your life is more blessed than the past was.
I'm in my mid 40s now. I can honestly say most women will NOT treat you very well. And you can triple that if they're very attractive too! I've had enemies have more feelings for me than some women I've been in a relationship with. I'll say this to any younger man out there reading these commets,......DONT EVER TRUST A WOMAN. NOT EVER!!!!!!! AND ESPECIALLY WHERE FINANCIALS ARE CONCERNED. AND IF YOU HAVE A GUT FEELING THEY'RE CHEATING ON YOU, THEY PROBABLY ARE!!!!!!!
@@supertruthfortynine where and how we have this guy feelings? cant we be wrong about it? maybe its because they have male friends and that make us feel typa way.
The last 20 seconds were probably the truest words I've heard in a long time. I had a friend who is a male model. Obviously great looking guy also a D1 athlete and a girl he was dating eventually dumped him because he was absolutely head over heals for her. She was nothing special and he attempted suicide after that. Happy ending though... it's now 4 year's later and he's banging super models in NYC! so even though I'm mad jealous I'm also happy for him.
Zakaii Zaki jealous for what ? Be motivated and strive for success like he did - put in the work , hit the gym , get on a good diet and become financially independent
@@OnlyJayBoss I already I'm bro ! I wrestled at D1 College at Mizzou and now I'm more involved in the fitness industry. However my finances ain't something special.
this may sound absolutely stupid to some, but when you get absolutely burnt or psychologically annihalated by a woman, either buy a dog, or have one to come home too. There is solid, scientific evidence that animals, especially dogs, can be 100x more therapeutic than any medication or intervention. Trust me, my dog has stopped me from doing something 'permanent' several times..
I think you are correct. I suffer from 'Separation Anxiety' and it stems from my Mum leaving me to cry at the bottom of the garden, i only just realised this after seeing a shrink.
@@stuartmarsh4384 Check out the channel Crappy Childhood Fairy. She's a real life psychologist and has a ton of insight into childhood related trauma/neglect/abuse. She's one of the few who really knows what she's talking about and genuinely seems to give a damn.
I remember my ex girlfriend once asking me in the car whether I ever felt like I missed out, that I could have been with other women before her (my Bodycount is 1, just her). I answered honestly and said no I don't feel like I missed out, maybe there could have been a different path but I love you and I'm hapoy being with you. Fast forward a year or so and she's gone, looks happy and back to normal within a few days. Several months later I'm still a wreck. It's DISGUSTING how repulsed women are by honesty and true love. I learned my lesson.
@Girly Girl, You are lying. What he has written, I have observed several times around me. Females move on and are happy immediately. I have never seen a female infected and down with oneitis. Never !
Love is an illusion you create in your own mind, it's a mirage, and the more elusive a woman is the more false fantasies you create in your own mind about how right she is for you. The best way to beat this is to date many women, and never feel overly attached to any one.
Had it once, never ever again! Wasted 5 and half months of my life chasing after her and ill never get that time back again. The best thing was, she told me once whilst I was begging and pleading for us to be together and try again. She stood there saying that she needed some time and space. I limped off, feeling as though imy legs weren't strong enough to hold me up with the weight of heart break that I was carrying. I came back to hers that evening with an excuse of picking up a few of my things I'd left, I could hear her through the apartment door getting it on with another bloke! Lesson there fellas. Never lose your self over a woman. They're not worth the upset and wasted time.
@@paulshaddick8325 Yup, they're awful. Most birds in my exierience (and it's 40+ years of life now) are just NOT worth the effort and wasted time. But I guess you know that now chief. Took me a while, but I got there eventually.
I chased a girl for two years in highschool. Spent every moment I had with her. I wasn't abusive though so she didn't see me as someone with potential. I heard from her when she was 25 that she wanted to get back together after having three kids and having to lock up her abusive boyfriend. I told her I would be there in an hour and never went over. I made her wait for me like she made me wait for her for two years and just like her I never came around.Why she thinks I would want another man's punching bag and mouths to feed is beyond me. I want one woman not some kid with three kids of her own
that shit happens so much brother. A couple years back this chick i was sorta friends with in high school messages me and the first thing after "hey" was "so what are you doing for work?" she also had 2 kids by 2 different guys(our graduating class was smallish so everyone knew everyone, and knew everyones business) i lied to told her "i'm seeing somebody" even though i knew she could easily vet the info and find out i wasn't but she used that excuse on my buddy back in the day so i just wanted to throw it back at her. Thing is me and this chick never dated, i think she had a crush on me at some point but nothing ever happened and we hadn't talked in like 10 years when she decided to contact me. Point is these bitches are just fishing, always be the one that got away.
If you're that upset over a woman leaving, it is obvious you invested too much in her in the first place, which is why she left. Women would far rather put YOU on the pedestal than the other way around, and whether they do or not is largely up to the perception they have of you as valuable and unique, which you are responsible for maintaining.
I’ve been red pill married for 37 years. Still play red pill games. I told her the other day. If you say we’re no longer having sex. Then we are no longer married, and Philippine here I come. Never been turned down. She also knows I not kidding. Stand up for your self men.
@@Redouku Doesn't seem like worth the effort for the same pussy day in day out if that's all you got going in your relationship. I hope she is working and earning then.
just went through it myself. the first 2 weeks are hell. literally stabbing pain in your chest. but your best friend is time. As time goes on, it hurts less and less until you know it, shes not on your conscience anymore. Take care fellas
Absolutely correct. Tough breakups are necessary to redefine belief systems, and in my experience have helped me grow far more than remaining in the toxic relationship. Thanks for all your work Rich
I watched this with so much agreement. I loved my last wife so much, worshipped her. Thought there was no one else. After we split up, and she applied for divorce, I tried to repair the 'us' for nearly 18months. She seemed to go along with it. On receipt, of her divorce, I heard no more from her.... Talk about suckered in. I realise now, how I was in that zone during that time, what a waste of my time. One big lesson guys, when you try to talk with your partner and she 'just listens' she isn't on your page, you are wasting your breathe, big time. Its happened twice to me.
You’re still young. My man, get to it. 30s is the time. Make it count. 20s, nowadays, are dumbasses unless you’re building wealth. Remember: the youth is wasted on the young; but you also can’t teach an old dog new tricks. You’re not as young as it use to be but you’re not old, either. Focus now and change the future. Use your heartaches as a tool for survival and strength. “Strength and honor. Win the crowd and you’ll win your freedom.” - Gladiator
I used to be like this -- putting my heart on the line for some girl who never felt the same way about me. I got strung along and dropped like a stone. Live and learn.
I remember having oneitis years ago and a few years after I broke up with her and got with another woman I saw another women who looked so much like my first one. Not only did she look like my first one but she even acted better than my first one. Moral of the story, there is no such thing as the only one or one of a kind. You might think you'll never meet a girl as great as her but not only is that illogical given the sheer number of women in the world, it's not true. There's always a better women with all the traits you like and more. Don't settle or compromise and don't give what you won't be given.
I've learned my lesson recently and have worked on my self since then. Ive set up goals for myself and I am pursuing them. I'm never gonna make the same mistake twice. Live and learn I always say. No more "the one" concept in my beliefs anymore and to be frank, I feel better that way. No more having to stress over stuff that shouldn't be the focus of your life.
Had my heart broke in the worst way. Depression lasted 2 years. Every thought was about what I could have done different. When I look back on it. What a fool I was.
Oneitis is real. Suffered it in my 20’s which was a huge wake up call because I was putting all my focus and energy on bettering myself and her. She’s gone now and I’m doing much better--without her. My dad told me the story about women and oneitis when I was a young teen and it’s true- they are like buses, another will come along in another 15 minutes. They seek men and achievers.
All people are complicated. You can never truly know another person's mind. Especially when most people don't have a genuine identity of their own to begin with. Trust is hard earned and personally I don't give it out unless you've paid your dues. And even then, I've got my eye on you. Regarding females. Don't believe what they say, but what they do. Their actions will not often match their words. And if that's the case, it's adios.
the fools of this world are seduced by the lies and mirrors and smoke of BOTH men and women. But it`s important to see that alot of the time you think you see a wolf in sheeps cloths but in reality what you see is a narcissist and incompetent. Most often the danger is to get intangeled with the stupid/unlucky/unhappy. It`s important to not listen to the storys they tell of why they are " unlucky". If they just complain/bitch and feel sorry for themself it`s important to cut losses fast. And it is also important to root out this " sickness" in ourself, no one on this earth is perfect and we can all from time to time feel the " blues" of the void thats in all men and women. But the strong and healthy among us, know that we need to culture discipline and order to have these weak and animalistic parts of the human spirit under controll. And people change. They may start out as strong and healthy, but the world and it`s ways break them gradualy. I have myself seen alot of " alphas" become complacent and over time become depressed and weak, and started to feel sorry for themself and that the world owed them something. Angain it`s important to cultivate a sertain " warrior/craftsman" spirit and to forge the soul as a smith does iron, and to keep the blade sharp and clean.
I’m on a binge of your channel! I love the content. This is so true! I literally just went through this! Listen to this man! 🙌🏻 I lived this. I had a woman I used to love and the moment I dropped all my other women and decided to only have her and let her know that my god did things change 🤦♂️ I’m not proud at all about it but that’s how you learn! I lost my job, my car, my money, my physique, my confidence and I seriously was depressed for so long after. This is exactly what happened to me. I was lucky I have such a strong will you not give up on myself, I was a chad in my 20’s but I let it all destroy me without me even realizing it. The big reason I have been able to bounce back is because I know I could do it again. Took forever but I finally got on my grind again and I’ve been working on me and my own life, nothing else. Your videos have helped me sink in these beliefs once again and never NEVER will I do that again, it was the most stressful and horrible thing I have dealt with. I refuse to live that way and I know progress isn’t instantaneous but I’ve already made a hell of a lot of progress!
I recently got out of the worst relationship I’ve ever had, and every single of Rich’s videos hit a point and mistake that I made. It’s literally like he knew what happened without being there it blows my mind. Listen to this guy and the knowledge he’s sharing! It’s important. Just like Rich I’d definitely share that: don’t ever make it seem like she’s the only one. That she’s ‘THE ONE’ .. she’ll get complacent. Also don’t ever allow disrespect. Once I messed up and allowed a few of that to slip assuming she knew she messed up, the relationship tanked and her love disappeared in an instant.
Chased and married “the one”, a few months later she cheated on me and broke my heart with the guy friend “ I was not supposed to worry about”, red pill videos and creators saved my life. Thanks rich
I am ashamed to say it took me 22 years to get over my high school girlfriend - But I am proud to finally say she's gone and I no longer miss her and realize I was too good for her since I was able to care so much and she was not - The future is now mine
If it helps, realize that you're not alone. There are tens of millions of guys (in North America alone) that are going through or have gone through similar losses and bouts of negative feelings.
Heard the same thing from a guy that was near suicide because of his breakup. He read Rollo Tamassi's three books and got his life back and feeling good about himself. Give it a try man. You can get better.
Never let a woman (including your wife or GF) have so much influence on you that losing them could completely destroy you . This is very dangerous for you. Always prepare your mind in a way that you tell yourself that if she is gone tomorrow , will I be able to carry on . Then plan your life based on that premise. Hope for the best but always always plan for the worst. No woman is ever worth eating a bullet over , no woman , not ever.
Chased my baby's mama for 3.5 years to keep us 3 a family for our son with special needs to have a family unit. It was hell on and off, she was not interested. Very grateful for the truth and wisdom on here and others. Helps to heal and stay.
longest spell of oneitis was about 4 years, i remember waking up and feeling like a fever had broken once i'd gotten over it. probably because i'd done enough other stuff so i wasn't the same person any more. looking back on it though, it doesn't feel stupid or ridiculous, just sad.
I once met a stripper who was in her 40s far from her prime, she sat down trying to get a dance out of me, I asked her why she was stripping and she told me that she had a husband who was great to her and her kids but she felt she deserved better so she divorced him and went stripping.
As a once ignorant beta myself, i can attest to all of this. My ex was head over heals in love with me. Dated her for 8 years, no ring. No proposal. I was on my path, nothing could detour me. She would go to my mom and beg her to convince me to marry her. I wanted kids and ended up wifing her up at year 9. Got sidetracked by the domesticated lifestyle, put focus on being a dad. Started slipping. She eventually wandered, and by the end said that I'd never do better than her. Funny how things change in a woman's mind. They dont see the grind or sacrifices. Cutting me lose was the best thing that ever happened to me. All she did was create a monster. Now she's out there monkeybranching with no end in sight. I'm over here making 6 figures growing my business while she is worried about crows feet. Chase excellence and fuck the rest. Stay focused, Gents. We got this.
If you are depressed WATCH THIS., before these concepts I was a depressed mess angry at the world I had a bad case of onetitis and was about to give up, but the night before I birthday I stumbled across your videos and since then I broke free from depression, understand the world for what it is and am loving the life I should have been a long time ago(I jokingly say to myself it was a gift from God) You are a life saver Rich keep being awesome and doing what you do best. DONT CHASE WOMAN, CHASE EXCELLENCE
I had oneitis for 35yrs plenty of girls between now & then but just the "one" I felt right with. Until I found out about things that happened behind my back 35yrs ago . The truth does find its way back to you!
I hear you bro, i listen attentively and learn from your teachings, im 34 years of age i live in cape town ive been single now for 3 years, i got out of a long term partnership with my ex girlfriend after 7 years together a few years ago, im just enjoying being on my own living my own life, im keeping productive i enjoy my work, got my household upkeep, my gym and lifestyle ive chosen to be alone and just be myself and get on with my life, im strong got my good qualities, my values and my principles. Learning to become a better single bachelor and keep optimistic for my future, ive also learnt from my time that personal growth is important, why to i listen and watch youtube help tips from a universal perspective knowing that relatable truth is common, in any age group.
A man should always knows his value and worthy in society. Plus, A guy should remember that he is the main prize with a lot of options in life not a woman. Prime example a fat old bald head successful guy is capable of dating or marrying a beautiful woman high as a 10 rating. A women who is very successful in her age bracket 30 and higher including aging body wise is struggling to find someone to date or marry. My point is that no matter how a guy look with money is always going to have value and options vs a older women who is aging is desperate to stay looking younger and settling for less or none at all.
@@angelicaangel2624 A real man who is multidimensional is capable of making how much money he wants in life vs a guy who is 1 dimensional in life. Prime example...I'm a retired Airborne and Special Operations conbat veterans, Retired Federal Government???, Certified Fitness Instructor, Certified Chi Gong expert, Certified Martial Arts Instructor, Psychology Grad, Chinese Philosophy teacher of Zhu XI/Chu HSI, 2002 Martial Art Champion and retired business owner who is making more money than people who are working a full-time job. My point is that I can do anything Ive stated in the above comment section like teach law Enforcement military tactical skills, High Security for famous people, open a lot of self defense school around the world, high quality fitness training and diets, etc. The main thing is to establish yourself as a man to be a high value guy with a lot of ambition and goals in life. If you're really good in what you love to do,then everything will fall in place including to be very successful in society.
@@c.r.t3811 You sound like a very talented, hardworking guy that is also very LUCKY to have had natural interests in fields that were in demand where you lived when you decided to pursue them. Such isn't the case for everyone. Some like me have to learn all this by expensive and time-consuming trial and error, then once you're finally starting to get moving, you're randomly, devastatingly injured by by a drunk driver. Then, by hospitals, insurance companies, lawyers, banks, HOAs, cops, courts, and government agencies. That is, whose only interest is in exploiting your hardship for personal gain, then leaving you to rot.
Great video, to the point. I am 40 myself, in a relationship, and yep, if she calls or not. Don't care. We will do things later, no worries. I still have other friends and a life.
This happened to me. Dark depression didn’t want to get out of bed or go to work. When I was at work I’d snap if someone ask me a question about a job we was working on. After almost a year I pulled myself closer to God and started focusing on my self. Was doing great for about two months really feeling comfortable being alone and everything. Then one day of the the blue my ex text me. I didn’t respond to her text. But it knocked me off my purpose. Now I am back to feeling sorry for myself and disconnected with God. I feel terrible again. Any help would be greatly appreciated
I hope now you are in a Better Place. God should always come first the rest will fall into place His ways are higher than ours His thoughts are higher than ours His timing and plans are perfect. God bless.
It's the dreams... I can go days and weeks without thinking about her. But at least once a month I have a crazy dream about "her" and it just f+cks me up. It's been 4 years and it still happens.
if you think about it a relationship always ends, no exceptions. breakup, divorce, death, whatever. go into it accepting that it'll end and you'll be fine when it does.
Years ago I was chasing one like that. She messaged me out of the blue the other day. I didn't respond. Not even intentional. I just forgot about her. I got other shit going on.
Had my heart broken at 19, first relationship, thought the world was peachy and nice. I'm 22 now and haven't dated much, but I understand that I will never again have my heart broken. I'm gonna put so much effort into myself that I will be unrecognizable next year. Thanks Rich for these videos!
“Ive been the beta, Ive been the Alpha and everything in between!” -Comment of the day!!! And once youre the Alpha, your mind then works differently and you NEVER go back to beta....
It's really simple fellas: be confident, lift heavy and often, never ever chase after her, and if you allow the pain of heartache - you're letting her win again.
Wasted 5 years of my life chasing "the one." Spent the next 8 years trying to replace her. Spent the last year realizing its not worth it. I'd rather be alone than deal with someone who only wants me around as a wallet and a taxi.
5 years relationship, was going to get married and though i was happy but in reality she was never there for me when i needed her and it was hard to leave her, it was incredibly hard and i still think it is considering i was going to give up everything for her, and somehow i did already i even moved to a place far from everyone friends and family just to get more money on my job and pursue a better life (house, car etc), being alone and having someone you love not caring about you is a world of a difference and it hurts a lot, so after i did that 4 months passed and while i was still thinking about her she already found someone else. All i did was waste my time and put myself apart of everyone that could give me some help during this times, imagine being alone during the first months of quarantine when nothing was certain and panick was everywhere, no one could come see me if i ever get infected, no one can even come to see me if i die to bury me or to see me one last time, but even so i regret nothing, because i know i did all i could and sadly you need 2 people to build a relationship. I hope she is fine, i know im not. and i highly doubt i will ever find the confidence to trust a women again as i trusted her.
Very similar situation. Matter of fact, i could have very well written the same comment you left. Mine is a bit fresher, found out just before i was ready to propose, that I've been monkey branched, 7 weeks ago. Hang in there, Brother. Guess it just takes time....
@@JohnDoe-id1es i forgot to mention that i leaved her, it always felt like she just wanted me to do it because she didnt have the guts to say it so i did, and after all this time let me tell you something, i feel nothing now. Is funny how everything works, i can tell that the feelings i had for her dissapeared already, whenever i saw a picture of her while going trough my stuff i felt nothing but indifference and just put them away, and i dont even find her atractive anymore when before i though she was actually pretty fine. I guess time does take care of wounds, they will always be there but they will stop hurting eventually. Also im quitting my job in a month, i already told my manager about it and im moving to another state close to mi family, rent is way cheaper as well and i already know where i will likely work is miles better than what i have now. I always considered myself traveling on a ship with a broken rudder, so ill just fix the damages as i go and hope to dock somewhere or sink eventually, in the meantime i cant do anything else other than move forward.
@@FreeAgent99 hey, well nice of you to ask I'm good thanks, I went to therapy and that helped me a lot, I don't have any suicidal thoughts anymore and I'm just trying to get everything in order with some old debts and credit cards things like that, after I solve that I just have to figure out what to do next, but I'm feeling great thanks for asking.
Was in a 7 year LTR with a 9. Treated her like she was replaceable for six years. Told her she was my one and only after that. She left at the end of year 7. Never again.
This is so true went through this before learn the hard way. Love this message people need to hear it. Wish I had heard it when I needed it before. So I wouldn't waste so much time feeling sorry for myself.
Sometimes losing "The one" can be the best thing that ever happened to you. It can take a long time to realize that though. For me, the realization came when I looked at a FB picture of her (15 years later) and found she had gotten very, very fat. I really dodged a bullet there.
Oh yeah! After years of her laying with every guy with a pulse, all of a sudden I was good enough! Pass! If I wasn’t good enough then, I’m not settling for every guy’s used up leftovers!
Even if you chase and get her, it's not a happy ending. You don't really know someone unless you see their worst and most guys aren't patient enough to wait and see how she really is. If she's willing to treat a lower class person in her mind as trash, she will eventually treat you like trash for sticking up for yourself.
@@retiredby3570 Lol, enjoyed your imagery, but can't help but think you and most men here are in general being unrealistically negative. They got (or have been getting) burned by women, so they're "evil". Maybe many (or even most) women are. However, they're really very much like us in just using their available resources to do their best to be happy. That said, don't give up on finding your dream woman. She's out there if you just know how to find her and win her and have the knowledge and ability to make it happen. That of course is a big "if". In the alternative, why bother? Yeah, women can be cute and sweet, intellectually and spiritually stimulating and fun. However, they're at the same time UNGODLY taxing to your heart, mind, emotion, time, and bank account. Are they worth it? A man doesn't need a woman to enjoy the outdoors, television, food, music, friendship, pets, or even children and sex. Plus, even the sex gets old after a few weeks, months, or years. Yeah, I sometimes literally ACHE for a woman when I encounter one that's young, hot, sweet, smart, responsible, and seemingly enamored with me as well. Then I return to my paid-for home in my paid-for car to enjoy immersing myself in my life of doing exactly what I want, when I want, with whom I want and I think, "I'd have to find one HELL of a woman to beat THIS!" :oD
My ex is my same age 25, 26 this year. She's a daddy's money rich girl IG model type. I knew I lusted for her but the level of narcissism was unbearable at times. Like rapping Cardi B lyrics AT me in her dad's Rolls Royce lol. She literally had her best friends leave her because she spoke about only herself so much. I live alone in the "ghetto" part of LA (according to her) and she literally dumped me because I couldn't spoil her with materials and own a motorcycle not a car. Sad part is she was crazy about me and initiated things in the relationship. I gave her everything I could. But like most of these women today, that money can control their soul. She called me a broke boy who lives in a shack in the ghetto and to come back to her when I have a car. I can NEVER forget those words. I will be emotionally unavailable until I've proven excellence to myself. Scars make Stars, boys lets put in work.
I’ve learnt so much in the past few months , still hurts but it’s getting better Never ever ever , invest all your time in one woman , you’ll live to regret it , move on and look back with gained experience
Oneitis is often a result in a high disparity in SMV. Usualy it starts in the beginning of the relationship or when time has passed and one of them gets fat/depressed and so on. You can kick oneitis ass by beeing a high value man and the other sex gets oneitis thinking of you :) cheers my dudes
I wish I knew this 2 years ago. It was a conscious choice to call her "My Personal Angel" . But I was deluding myself. And when the fall comes the painful bit is waking back up into reality. Be careful about setting yourself up for the fall. And she did nothing, she just is what she is. Now when I think back, if I just had taken the cavalier approach the whole way through, I might have still had her around. But I took her too seriously, I taught her to up the anti , start demanding more and more, until she became out of control. Painful lessons.
Way back in my teens. I finally decided to 'love back' a woman that was madly in love with me. Bizarre- almost immediately after I finally told her 'I love you' and started making monogamous plans she bolted. She hooked up with another guy a 'beta simp guy' that allowed her to move in etc...Hard hard lesson to learn as a young man.
So true!! When you finally find love for yourself and your own needs, life finally starts coming together! Looking back, it all seems so clear! But when you are stuck in it, that feeling is miserable. Now it’s laughable, ridiculous and embarrassing 😂
In my early twenties i was totaly obsessed and in love with one girl, after having some relationship with her she treated be badly and dishonerd my honour as a man. I was at that time totaly a Beta Simp, and i even cried openly about it and put myself totaly ashame towards others. But after all, because of this happening my eyes and understanding where opened concerning women and how they behave and by wich games they play, and i became automatically a Alfa red pill guy, even i did not realised that by myself at that time. It was later in life that i realized that i had become a Red pill guy, when i came to know more about it. Later in life i saw this same women in the bus, and she approached me, and for some reason she apologized herself to me for the bad treatment she did on me at that time. My response was, that i do not care about it anymore, and i do not need your apology, and totaly ingore her.
You can say all the right things to someone, but it's hard to get over someone. I've had five short and long term relationships but this one girl stays in my head.
i feel you bro...i have this one woman this last year,when shes not in my life,im really fucking productive in my job,but when she came,im always feel procrastinate,cant even pump a simple work....women really an energy vampire,they will leave you while your high and dry....
That BS happened to me in 2009. NEVER again will I invest my time, $$$$, heart, & Soul into a woman... I recovered, I became stronger as a person, & damn did my eyes open up into the realms of female behavior & their cheating ways... Here I was, w/my Law License, great practice, beautiful Home(s), Cars/Boat/Jet Skies...etc, & yet this sh*t still happened to me. NEVER EVER again.
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Damn this one hit home. For some reason same thought she was the one. I work our everyday for past 10 years so being fit never an issue, financially stable etc she even thought or women think I’m a player and I sorta am. But when I met her and everything went good for over 6 month got less attention. I still don’t understand the peddle stool theory etc. if you can elaborate the behavior and how to fix it, I would appreciate it.
Santa is real. You ever heard of Saint Nick
Man last girl I thought was the 1 led me 2 the mental hospital. T and f. Depression near suicidal attempt. Now screw it I am the 1
I was once obsessed with "the one". It's the most ridiculous thing ever, something you look back on and think "what the hell was I thinking?". But in that moment it seems like a big deal.
I was the same, when I went to college 23 years ago I thought I was obliged to meet the one and marry her up. I had a complete beta sniper mentality. Its such a huge mistake for guys to make. If there are any younger men reading this please do not make this mistake.
I call it "Sforza's Coffee Cup."
Where, when you're younger, having had limited experience in things, it's like your "world" is the size of a Baeista table. So something the sixe of a coffee cup taking up space on it, is a rather significant deal. However, I once you get older and have more experiences (Especially more "coffee cups" and perspective altering ones like War in a third world country), you'll find that now your world is the size of the entire restaurant (And still growing). Where something like a coffee cup on a batista table... Is wholly insignificant because you have many tables with other stuff on them. Hell, there's "Coffee cups" piled en masse in the back, so what.
Haha! Twas me, tis not me.
I think the only cure would be spinning plates and never geting too far into one chick
been there...early 20s and thought she was my whole world..what a waste of time and money i was a idiot....she dumped me and had a kid few years later...i am on my third investment property and making mid six figures...so glad i finally accepted true female nature and avoided marriage...
Men value love.
Women love value.
Should be on a t shirt and bumper sticker.
@@kenlandon7803 - there's a business idea for you! Go make some money.
this clearly deserves more likes
Quite very True..
@@28pbtkh23 to late some asshole already stole the idea
You get burned down as the Beta and rise from the ashes as the Alpha.
Well said, man.
Epic way to view things
Love that
Awesome reframing
Like a Phoenix
My uncle once told me - " Women are like buses......They're cheap, available to anyone and it's usually a rough ride. But if you miss one, there's another one coming down the road in a few minutes."
Lmao they're not cheap these days buddy.
@@upstar21t They are if you get them young. Just don't wife her
never chase buses you always get left behind
@@TheThinkingMathematician This
I wasted almost a year of my life chasing who I thought was 'the one'. Beautiful, educated, two kids who I loved and I was oblivious to the fact that she was still on dating sites and actively seeking out other guys while saying she was committed to me. I felt like a fool when I ended things and she told me I would never find another like her. I truly hope not. No one deserves that.
You can't have a relationship without social media and cell phone transparency. Most women will never concede that to you and tells you everything you need to know. 50 percent of women admit to having a backup option and these are supposed to women in committed relationships. When you care more about the relationship than she does it will fail every time. The furthest you should ever take it is living together in a no common law state women change their minds on a whim making them less desirable than ever in terms of commitment
I was told the same thing! 😂 🤣 🙈
"you will never find another like me" my reply! (I hope not)
Sounds similar
@@isaacwaites3225 she said I would regret it lol 😂
Yup.
The best feeling any man can get, is waking up after the breakup, in a bedsit/Mum’s spare bedroom or a friend’s sofa realising that it’s truly over... and the knot in their stomach is gone. That day is the first day of the rest of your life.
... Many people reading this can relate, it's only uphill from there brother 👍
I hear you , that’s me at the minute
Brutal but honest
@@Amctothemoon Chin up brother, you got this ... Good things ahead for you with your new way of seeing this world 👍
@@thebesttheworst2277 I can only agree. Start a gentle walking regime. Then do some weights every other day. Rope jump and hitting a heavy bag. Life just automatically gets better from there. Good luck fellas.
@@dogtag869 Amen to that 👌
LOL. The only difference between "The One" and Santa Clause and is there is greater probability of Santa Clause being real.
‘The one ‘ = neo from the matrix
@@othienoburton5432 hahaha awesome
That’s a good one 😂😂😂
There are great women out there, I’ve met a few. As you continue to work and build yourself better, you’ll meet better women. Also you have to be in an area where there are high value attractive women
@@MrHydevsDrJekyll ok so have you been in a marriage? Or a 6 year plus relationship? Holding masculine frame in a marriage or serious ltr is just pure luck she doesn't turn on you and all that money you make shes spending it. If you don't then shes off to someone she can get her hands on their money and if you have a prenup then sure you might not get taken to the cleaners, although pre nups are useless and easy to get around, your stupid if you believe that worthless document will stand up in court, but what's the point of commitment to one women.... if that's the case, better to be single and pump n dump.
Gentlemen
Keep the focus on your mission
Not the woman
Keep yourself constantly busy and continue to move forward.
This is the way
She's not yours; it's only your turn.
Is this a Skepta quote my guy
my favorite statement
Oof
Nah man, your not hers; it's just her turn
watching mr sharp?? 😂
I did chase “the one” after we broke up in my early 20’s. But she wanted to play hard to get games, so I moved on. Been married twenty years now, and every time I see her out somewhere, she makes sure to slip it in to let her know if I’m ever single again. She’s been married and divorced 5 times! Looks like I dodged a bullet there. Even if I did become single again, she’s a giant red flag.
Vox, she definitely sabotaged herself. With 5 divorces and several short term boyfriends, her relationship skills are lousy.
The fact that she was playing games, tells me:
1: She is hugely insecure about herself.
2: She has the attitude of - no man is good enough.
3: When there are issues, the problem must be the man's fault, which means,
4: She does not have the ability to take accountability for what she puts into a relationship, or what she fails to do.
Congratulations on your happy marriage with your sweetheart! 🙂
Happy Holidays to you and your family. 🎄
Champ
If she rejected you once before you just gotta get in your head & accept the fact that you'll never be happy with her is what a methodist minister once said to me. As I thought about it makes sense. In my thoughts youll always be worried about someone else stealing her away. Always afraid of losing her. Youll be worried about her at work, you'll be worried about her when she goes to the grocery store. You'll always be worried about her leaving you. She is not the one for you.
Many men end up in an endless cycle of analysis trying to figure out what they did wrong when it's actually the woman, not you.
True.
@rayshanty
True
Yes 🙏
Yup, I sometimes fall into this still. She was obviously the problem, but you sometimes slip into thinking about what you could have done different instead of what SHE could have done
A woman must have competition anxiety. She must feel that you could leave her at any point if she mistreats you. If she doesn’t, you have no chance of keeping her.
But you might not be able to keep her if she fears you replacing her too. I don’t know if making someone feel insecure is a way to keep them, it definitely doesn’t sound healthy. But I do think women should respect their men and treat them like gods, I do with mine. But he doesn’t make me feel replaceable. If he did I don’t think I would feel safe in the relationship. She shouldn’t be mistreating you, but you shouldn’t have to make her feel like you’ll drop her at any second to achieve her respect and love.
@@wernerranchlife8677 that's not what the poster intended, it's the understanding that a women is not the only option, love and affection is unconditional but respect is necessary, whenever women get with men that nobody wants, they feel like they got the bad end of the deal but if they see other women being interested in the guy it keeps them in the head space that the guy is not some peasant they can disrespect
Mo-lester I understand what you saying and thank you for a respectful response.
@@joshdunham7167 👌
True
Basically, don't be a simp.
Im New. What is a simp?
@@Mindmap-Blueprint
A guy who has no self respect and worships women.
You feel lost and worthless because you lost yourself in the process of finding her
I spent years brethren....YEARS beating myself up over her. Sleepless nights and obsessing over what I could have done differently. I went all in and tried so hard to be the best man I could be for her. I lost myself and my self respect. I found the redpill and went to work. The more you study and ignore all the RUBBISH we've been forced to believe? Is the moment you start to live for real. You are the prize. You are your bestfriend and rock! Never forget it!
Thanks Rich. You saved my life and your book is at the top of my library!!!
Great job bro :)
"she wasn't yours it was your turn"
Damn, sounds like my 8 year relationship. Many, many sleepless nights and so much pain, but I made it through.
One week before I turned 21, my first girlfriend broke my heart when she skipped town with a POS bad boy who was supposed to have been her ex-boyfriend.
I learned that our one-year relationship had been a diversion, to make her parents think that she was no longer seeing the bad boy.
I had a mental meltdown that resulted in me spending months in a darkened room reciting Shakespeare (especially Macbeth’s soliloquy in act five, scene five) to my Colt 1911.
I had been an incel before I met the girl. You can imagine how hard I fell.
When I became functional again, I found that I had become psychologically incapable of feeling anything for a female.
I am almost 63 now and have had two disastrous marriages.
I still cannot feel anything positive for a female.
That's tough. You can't change the past, but I hope in the present and future you know what you are worth and your priority is you. I hope the rest of your life is more blessed than the past was.
Thank you for sharing your story brother and I’m sorry for what you have went through.
I'm in my mid 40s now.
I can honestly say most women will NOT treat you very well. And you can triple that if they're very attractive too! I've had enemies have more feelings for me than some women I've been in a relationship with.
I'll say this to any younger man out there reading these commets,......DONT EVER TRUST A WOMAN. NOT EVER!!!!!!! AND ESPECIALLY WHERE FINANCIALS ARE CONCERNED. AND IF YOU HAVE A GUT FEELING THEY'RE CHEATING ON YOU, THEY PROBABLY ARE!!!!!!!
@@supertruthfortynine where and how we have this guy feelings? cant we be wrong about it? maybe its because they have male friends and that make us feel typa way.
How did you get married, twice, not being able to find anything positive about a woman?!
The last 20 seconds were probably the truest words I've heard in a long time. I had a friend who is a male model. Obviously great looking guy also a D1 athlete and a girl he was dating eventually dumped him because he was absolutely head over heals for her. She was nothing special and he attempted suicide after that. Happy ending though... it's now 4 year's later and he's banging super models in NYC! so even though I'm mad jealous I'm also happy for him.
Dont be a hater for a brother . Always a supporter
Zakaii Zaki jealous for what ? Be motivated and strive for success like he did - put in the work , hit the gym , get on a good diet and become financially independent
@@OnlyJayBoss I already I'm bro ! I wrestled at D1 College at Mizzou and now I'm more involved in the fitness industry. However my finances ain't something special.
Great that his story continued with happy endings....
this may sound absolutely stupid to some, but when you get absolutely burnt or psychologically annihalated by a woman, either buy a dog, or have one to come home too. There is solid, scientific evidence that animals, especially dogs, can be 100x more therapeutic than any medication or intervention. Trust me, my dog has stopped me from doing something 'permanent' several times..
When there's a lot of emotion attached to one breakup that you can't get over... it usually goes back to childhood.
I think you are correct. I suffer from 'Separation Anxiety' and it stems from my Mum leaving me to cry at the bottom of the garden, i only just realised this after seeing a shrink.
@@stuartmarsh4384 Check out the channel Crappy Childhood Fairy. She's a real life psychologist and has a ton of insight into childhood related trauma/neglect/abuse.
She's one of the few who really knows what she's talking about and genuinely seems to give a damn.
Best advice, Rollo ever gave us. “There is no one, there are good ones and bad ones, but there is no one”
Wonder what his wife thinks of that
💯
I remember my ex girlfriend once asking me in the car whether I ever felt like I missed out, that I could have been with other women before her (my Bodycount is 1, just her). I answered honestly and said no I don't feel like I missed out, maybe there could have been a different path but I love you and I'm hapoy being with you. Fast forward a year or so and she's gone, looks happy and back to normal within a few days. Several months later I'm still a wreck. It's DISGUSTING how repulsed women are by honesty and true love. I learned my lesson.
@Girly Girl, You are lying. What he has written, I have observed several times around me. Females move on and are happy immediately. I have never seen a female infected and down with oneitis. Never !
Love is an illusion you create in your own mind, it's a mirage, and the more elusive a woman is the more false fantasies you create in your own mind about how right she is for you. The best way to beat this is to date many women, and never feel overly attached to any one.
Very very well said! Thank you for putting it this way!!
Well said brother. I’d been trying to put that into words for a while.
Had it once, never ever again!
Wasted 5 and half months of my life chasing after her and ill never get that time back again. The best thing was, she told me once whilst I was begging and pleading for us to be together and try again. She stood there saying that she needed some time and space. I limped off, feeling as though imy legs weren't strong enough to hold me up with the weight of heart break that I was carrying. I came back to hers that evening with an excuse of picking up a few of my things I'd left, I could hear her through the apartment door getting it on with another bloke!
Lesson there fellas. Never lose your self over a woman. They're not worth the upset and wasted time.
yeah, been there done that, only in my case I married her, 5 years later I was dumped , broke my heart.
@@paulshaddick8325 Yup, they're awful. Most birds in my exierience (and it's 40+ years of life now) are just NOT worth the effort and wasted time.
But I guess you know that now chief. Took me a while, but I got there eventually.
Wow
Amen. Got that scar tissue too. And stay away from recently divorced. In my case no kids but you are only there to help them not you.
Jesus....i can't imagine the pain you felt when hearing her with the other guy..... something similar happened to me....after 3 years still in pain
"Have the funeral for your past relationships and burn the remains". huMAN
I chased a girl for two years in highschool. Spent every moment I had with her. I wasn't abusive though so she didn't see me as someone with potential. I heard from her when she was 25 that she wanted to get back together after having three kids and having to lock up her abusive boyfriend. I told her I would be there in an hour and never went over. I made her wait for me like she made me wait for her for two years and just like her I never came around.Why she thinks I would want another man's punching bag and mouths to feed is beyond me. I want one woman not some kid with three kids of her own
that shit happens so much brother. A couple years back this chick i was sorta friends with in high school messages me and the first thing after "hey" was "so what are you doing for work?" she also had 2 kids by 2 different guys(our graduating class was smallish so everyone knew everyone, and knew everyones business) i lied to told her "i'm seeing somebody" even though i knew she could easily vet the info and find out i wasn't but she used that excuse on my buddy back in the day so i just wanted to throw it back at her. Thing is me and this chick never dated, i think she had a crush on me at some point but nothing ever happened and we hadn't talked in like 10 years when she decided to contact me. Point is these bitches are just fishing, always be the one that got away.
Damn
If you're that upset over a woman leaving, it is obvious you invested too much in her in the first place, which is why she left. Women would far rather put YOU on the pedestal than the other way around, and whether they do or not is largely up to the perception they have of you as valuable and unique, which you are responsible for maintaining.
I’ve been red pill married for 37 years. Still play red pill games. I told her the other day. If you say we’re no longer having sex. Then we are no longer married, and Philippine here I come. Never been turned down. She also knows I not kidding. Stand up for your self men.
That works up to the point where she says : fine have it your way…then leaves with a younger version of you lol
Isn't that a bit reactive? why do you even stay?
@@Redouku Doesn't seem like worth the effort for the same pussy day in day out if that's all you got going in your relationship. I hope she is working and earning then.
@@thecarpentershow8507 because we’re still in love and put each other’s first. You wouldn’t understand youngster.
@@brentlabeau That's what I wanted to know.
just went through it myself. the first 2 weeks are hell. literally stabbing pain in your chest. but your best friend is time. As time goes on, it hurts less and less until you know it, shes not on your conscience anymore. Take care fellas
Absolutely correct. Tough breakups are necessary to redefine belief systems, and in my experience have helped me grow far more than remaining in the toxic relationship. Thanks for all your work Rich
I watched this with so much agreement.
I loved my last wife so much, worshipped her. Thought there was no one else.
After we split up, and she applied for divorce, I tried to repair the 'us' for nearly 18months. She seemed to go along with it. On receipt, of her divorce, I heard no more from her....
Talk about suckered in.
I realise now, how I was in that zone during that time, what a waste of my time.
One big lesson guys, when you try to talk with your partner and she 'just listens' she isn't on your page, you are wasting your breathe, big time. Its happened twice to me.
I wish someone would have showed me this red pill this when I was 18... would have saved me over 12 years of constant heartache from women.
You’re still young. My man, get to it. 30s is the time. Make it count. 20s, nowadays, are dumbasses unless you’re building wealth.
Remember: the youth is wasted on the young; but you also can’t teach an old dog new tricks. You’re not as young as it use to be but you’re not old, either. Focus now and change the future. Use your heartaches as a tool for survival and strength.
“Strength and honor. Win the crowd and you’ll win your freedom.” - Gladiator
Placing your validation in the hands of others opinions is a surefire way to unhappiness. Don't do it to yourself fellas.
Well said bud
I quote the prophet Bob Dylan, "I used to care but things have changed."
Bob knew things before things became a ‘thing’
I 've got a bad case of " oneitis "
For myself
I used to be like this -- putting my heart on the line for some girl who never felt the same way about me. I got strung along and dropped like a stone. Live and learn.
There's nothing wrong with investing in someone but they have to be vetted first thoroughly. They have to be worthy of what you are giving
I remember having oneitis years ago and a few years after I broke up with her and got with another woman I saw another women who looked so much like my first one. Not only did she look like my first one but she even acted better than my first one. Moral of the story, there is no such thing as the only one or one of a kind. You might think you'll never meet a girl as great as her but not only is that illogical given the sheer number of women in the world, it's not true. There's always a better women with all the traits you like and more. Don't settle or compromise and don't give what you won't be given.
I've learned my lesson recently and have worked on my self since then. Ive set up goals for myself and I am pursuing them. I'm never gonna make the same mistake twice. Live and learn I always say. No more "the one" concept in my beliefs anymore and to be frank, I feel better that way. No more having to stress over stuff that shouldn't be the focus of your life.
I’m so glad men have this channel. Society does not function without men and men need to know their value also.
Had my heart broke in the worst way. Depression lasted 2 years. Every thought was about what I could have done different. When I look back on it. What a fool I was.
Oneitis is real. Suffered it in my 20’s which was a huge wake up call because I was putting all my focus and energy on bettering myself and her. She’s gone now and I’m doing much better--without her.
My dad told me the story about women and oneitis when I was a young teen and it’s true- they are like buses, another will come along in another 15 minutes. They seek men and achievers.
All people are complicated. You can never truly know another person's mind. Especially when most people don't have a genuine identity of their own to begin with. Trust is hard earned and personally I don't give it out unless you've paid your dues. And even then, I've got my eye on you.
Regarding females. Don't believe what they say, but what they do. Their actions will not often match their words. And if that's the case, it's adios.
the fools of this world are seduced by the lies and mirrors and smoke of BOTH men and women. But it`s important to see that alot of the time you think you see a wolf in sheeps cloths but in reality what you see is a narcissist and incompetent. Most often the danger is to get intangeled with the stupid/unlucky/unhappy. It`s important to not listen to the storys they tell of why they are " unlucky". If they just complain/bitch and feel sorry for themself it`s important to cut losses fast. And it is also important to root out this " sickness" in ourself, no one on this earth is perfect and we can all from time to time feel the " blues" of the void thats in all men and women. But the strong and healthy among us, know that we need to culture discipline and order to have these weak and animalistic parts of the human spirit under controll. And people change. They may start out as strong and healthy, but the world and it`s ways break them gradualy. I have myself seen alot of " alphas" become complacent and over time become depressed and weak, and started to feel sorry for themself and that the world owed them something. Angain it`s important to cultivate a sertain " warrior/craftsman" spirit and to forge the soul as a smith does iron, and to keep the blade sharp and clean.
What a wise words ..my man
I’m on a binge of your channel! I love the content. This is so true! I literally just went through this! Listen to this man! 🙌🏻 I lived this. I had a woman I used to love and the moment I dropped all my other women and decided to only have her and let her know that my god did things change 🤦♂️ I’m not proud at all about it but that’s how you learn! I lost my job, my car, my money, my physique, my confidence and I seriously was depressed for so long after. This is exactly what happened to me. I was lucky I have such a strong will you not give up on myself, I was a chad in my 20’s but I let it all destroy me without me even realizing it. The big reason I have been able to bounce back is because I know I could do it again. Took forever but I finally got on my grind again and I’ve been working on me and my own life, nothing else. Your videos have helped me sink in these beliefs once again and never NEVER will I do that again, it was the most stressful and horrible thing I have dealt with. I refuse to live that way and I know progress isn’t instantaneous but I’ve already made a hell of a lot of progress!
I recently got out of the worst relationship I’ve ever had, and every single of Rich’s videos hit a point and mistake that I made. It’s literally like he knew what happened without being there it blows my mind. Listen to this guy and the knowledge he’s sharing! It’s important. Just like Rich I’d definitely share that: don’t ever make it seem like she’s the only one. That she’s ‘THE ONE’ .. she’ll get complacent. Also don’t ever allow disrespect. Once I messed up and allowed a few of that to slip assuming she knew she messed up, the relationship tanked and her love disappeared in an instant.
Chased and married “the one”, a few months later she cheated on me and broke my heart with the guy friend “ I was not supposed to worry about”, red pill videos and creators saved my life. Thanks rich
I am ashamed to say it took me 22 years to get over my high school girlfriend - But I am proud to finally say she's gone and I no longer miss her and realize I was too good for her since I was able to care so much and she was not - The future is now mine
Better late than never. You're right on track.
Good for you 👍
Exactly what I have been going through for years. Depression has set in; don’t see it getting better.
Your happiness is paramount David, hope all works out 💪🏾
Go travel abroad, it has helped me a lot when I was depressed. Also read The Rationale Male from Tomassi.
Get better yourself... bruh
If it helps, realize that you're not alone. There are tens of millions of guys (in North America alone) that are going through or have gone through similar losses and bouts of negative feelings.
Heard the same thing from a guy that was near suicide because of his breakup. He read Rollo Tamassi's three books and got his life back and feeling good about himself. Give it a try man. You can get better.
Never let a woman (including your wife or GF) have so much influence on you that losing them could completely destroy you . This is very dangerous for you. Always prepare your mind in a way that you tell yourself that if she is gone tomorrow , will I be able to carry on . Then plan your life based on that premise. Hope for the best but always always plan for the worst. No woman is ever worth eating a bullet over , no woman , not ever.
We can be perfect 95% of the time, the next guy only has to be perfect 5% and he wins
Very true.
Lmao
No such thing as perfect
Chased my baby's mama for 3.5 years to keep us 3 a family for our son with special needs to have a family unit. It was hell on and off, she was not interested. Very grateful for the truth and wisdom on here and others. Helps to heal and stay.
My friend went thru the same. She took the baby to Australia and married her co worker. He returned home empty handed.
longest spell of oneitis was about 4 years, i remember waking up and feeling like a fever had broken once i'd gotten over it. probably because i'd done enough other stuff so i wasn't the same person any more. looking back on it though, it doesn't feel stupid or ridiculous, just sad.
I once met a stripper who was in her 40s far from her prime, she sat down trying to get a dance out of me, I asked her why she was stripping and she told me that she had a husband who was great to her and her kids but she felt she deserved better so she divorced him and went stripping.
Kinda bullshit ?? Lmao
Nympho. 😆
As a once ignorant beta myself, i can attest to all of this. My ex was head over heals in love with me. Dated her for 8 years, no ring. No proposal. I was on my path, nothing could detour me. She would go to my mom and beg her to convince me to marry her.
I wanted kids and ended up wifing her up at year 9. Got sidetracked by the domesticated lifestyle, put focus on being a dad. Started slipping. She eventually wandered, and by the end said that I'd never do better than her. Funny how things change in a woman's mind. They dont see the grind or sacrifices.
Cutting me lose was the best thing that ever happened to me. All she did was create a monster. Now she's out there monkeybranching with no end in sight. I'm over here making 6 figures growing my business while she is worried about crows feet. Chase excellence and fuck the rest. Stay focused, Gents. We got this.
If you are depressed WATCH THIS., before these concepts I was a depressed mess angry at the world I had a bad case of onetitis and was about to give up, but the night before I birthday I stumbled across your videos and since then I broke free from depression, understand the world for what it is and am loving the life I should have been a long time ago(I jokingly say to myself it was a gift from God) You are a life saver Rich keep being awesome and doing what you do best. DONT CHASE WOMAN, CHASE EXCELLENCE
Yes! Years later I realized she did us both a favor and I’m glad she did‼️
Setting yourself up for depression. Powerful words Rich. Thanks.
There is no “one”. After you realize that everything else makes sense.
Yeah was shit testing if she was really inn love with me and the truth is they are products of lust and attention
I had oneitis for 35yrs plenty of girls between now & then but just the "one" I felt right with. Until I found out about things that happened behind my back 35yrs ago . The truth does find its way back to you!
Thank you so much. Going thru this right now. I like how suddenly all this content seems to have fallen on my lap.
I hear you bro, i listen attentively and learn from your teachings, im 34 years of age i live in cape town ive been single now for 3 years, i got out of a long term partnership with my ex girlfriend after 7 years together a few years ago, im just enjoying being on my own living my own life, im keeping productive i enjoy my work, got my household upkeep, my gym and lifestyle ive chosen to be alone and just be myself and get on with my life, im strong got my good qualities, my values and my principles. Learning to become a better single bachelor and keep optimistic for my future, ive also learnt from my time that personal growth is important, why to i listen and watch youtube help tips from a universal perspective knowing that relatable truth is common, in any age group.
A man should always knows his value and worthy in society. Plus, A guy should remember that he is the main prize with a lot of options in life not a woman. Prime example a fat old bald head successful guy is capable of dating or marrying a beautiful woman high as a 10 rating. A women who is very successful in her age bracket 30 and higher including aging body wise is struggling to find someone to date or marry. My point is that no matter how a guy look with money is always going to have value and options vs a older women who is aging is desperate to stay looking younger and settling for less or none at all.
Only a rich man is a prize....if he ain't got money he's never going to be the prize. He's delusional.
@@angelicaangel2624 A real man who is multidimensional is capable of making how much money he wants in life vs a guy who is 1 dimensional in life. Prime example...I'm a retired Airborne and Special Operations conbat veterans, Retired Federal Government???, Certified Fitness Instructor, Certified Chi Gong expert, Certified Martial Arts Instructor, Psychology Grad, Chinese Philosophy teacher of Zhu XI/Chu HSI, 2002 Martial Art Champion and retired business owner who is making more money than people who are working a full-time job. My point is that I can do anything Ive stated in the above comment section like teach law Enforcement military tactical skills, High Security for famous people, open a lot of self defense school around the world, high quality fitness training and diets, etc. The main thing is to establish yourself as a man to be a high value guy with a lot of ambition and goals in life. If you're really good in what you love to do,then everything will fall in place including to be very successful in society.
@@c.r.t3811 You just posted your resume up there to prove a point. You could've made the same point without the whole show boating, looks desperate.
@@c.r.t3811 You sound like a very talented, hardworking guy that is also very LUCKY to have had natural interests in fields that were in demand where you lived when you decided to pursue them. Such isn't the case for everyone.
Some like me have to learn all this by expensive and time-consuming trial and error, then once you're finally starting to get moving, you're randomly, devastatingly injured by by a drunk driver. Then, by hospitals, insurance companies, lawyers, banks, HOAs, cops, courts, and government agencies. That is, whose only interest is in exploiting your hardship for personal gain, then leaving you to rot.
@crooked truth83 Most married men are dead inside.
iv always said, you know the quality of the girl you've got once the money runs out...
PREACH!
Great video, to the point. I am 40 myself, in a relationship, and yep, if she calls or not. Don't care. We will do things later, no worries. I still have other friends and a life.
This happened to me. Dark depression didn’t want to get out of bed or go to work. When I was at work I’d snap if someone ask me a question about a job we was working on. After almost a year I pulled myself closer to God and started focusing on my self. Was doing great for about two months really feeling comfortable being alone and everything. Then one day of the the blue my ex text me. I didn’t respond to her text. But it knocked me off my purpose. Now I am back to feeling sorry for myself and disconnected with God. I feel terrible again. Any help would be greatly appreciated
Block her, immediately. And after that just take some time to reconnect with God.
Filip Šebest Thanks appreciate you.
@@johnj5726 stay strong, brother
I hope now you are in a Better Place. God should always come first the rest will fall into place His ways are higher than ours His thoughts are higher than ours His timing and plans are perfect. God bless.
C'mon man! Your better than that! Rise up! Nothing's left.
It's the dreams... I can go days and weeks without thinking about her. But at least once a month I have a crazy dream about "her" and it just f+cks me up. It's been 4 years and it still happens.
if you think about it a relationship always ends, no exceptions. breakup, divorce, death, whatever. go into it accepting that it'll end and you'll be fine when it does.
Years ago I was chasing one like that. She messaged me out of the blue the other day. I didn't respond. Not even intentional. I just forgot about her. I got other shit going on.
Just had it happen to me 4 days ago....lol
I needed to hear this. I get unproductive at work when I date. Im more stable when I'm single.
Had my heart broken at 19, first relationship, thought the world was peachy and nice. I'm 22 now and haven't dated much, but I understand that I will never again have my heart broken. I'm gonna put so much effort into myself that I will be unrecognizable next year. Thanks Rich for these videos!
Update
You are the man Rich. I feel like you are the guy from the hood everyone looks up to.
“Ive been the beta, Ive been the Alpha and everything in between!”
-Comment of the day!!!
And once youre the Alpha, your mind then works differently and you NEVER go back to beta....
Well you can revert back to beta, betaization it happens.
It's really simple fellas: be confident, lift heavy and often, never ever chase after her, and if you allow the pain of heartache - you're letting her win again.
Wasted 5 years of my life chasing "the one." Spent the next 8 years trying to replace her. Spent the last year realizing its not worth it. I'd rather be alone than deal with someone who only wants me around as a wallet and a taxi.
5 years relationship, was going to get married and though i was happy but in reality she was never there for me when i needed her and it was hard to leave her, it was incredibly hard and i still think it is considering i was going to give up everything for her, and somehow i did already i even moved to a place far from everyone friends and family just to get more money on my job and pursue a better life (house, car etc), being alone and having someone you love not caring about you is a world of a difference and it hurts a lot, so after i did that 4 months passed and while i was still thinking about her she already found someone else. All i did was waste my time and put myself apart of everyone that could give me some help during this times, imagine being alone during the first months of quarantine when nothing was certain and panick was everywhere, no one could come see me if i ever get infected, no one can even come to see me if i die to bury me or to see me one last time, but even so i regret nothing, because i know i did all i could and sadly you need 2 people to build a relationship.
I hope she is fine, i know im not. and i highly doubt i will ever find the confidence to trust a women again as i trusted her.
Very similar situation. Matter of fact, i could have very well written the same comment you left. Mine is a bit fresher, found out just before i was ready to propose, that I've been monkey branched, 7 weeks ago. Hang in there, Brother. Guess it just takes time....
@@JohnDoe-id1es i forgot to mention that i leaved her, it always felt like she just wanted me to do it because she didnt have the guts to say it so i did, and after all this time let me tell you something, i feel nothing now.
Is funny how everything works, i can tell that the feelings i had for her dissapeared already, whenever i saw a picture of her while going trough my stuff i felt nothing but indifference and just put them away, and i dont even find her atractive anymore when before i though she was actually pretty fine. I guess time does take care of wounds, they will always be there but they will stop hurting eventually.
Also im quitting my job in a month, i already told my manager about it and im moving to another state close to mi family, rent is way cheaper as well and i already know where i will likely work is miles better than what i have now. I always considered myself traveling on a ship with a broken rudder, so ill just fix the damages as i go and hope to dock somewhere or sink eventually, in the meantime i cant do anything else other than move forward.
@@juanmarcano8700 good to know you are moving forward. I'm trying, but still reeling from it all....
How are you man? It’s been 10 months that you posted it
@@FreeAgent99 hey, well nice of you to ask I'm good thanks, I went to therapy and that helped me a lot, I don't have any suicidal thoughts anymore and I'm just trying to get everything in order with some old debts and credit cards things like that, after I solve that I just have to figure out what to do next, but I'm feeling great thanks for asking.
Was in a 7 year LTR with a 9. Treated her like she was replaceable for six years. Told her she was my one and only after that. She left at the end of year 7. Never again.
So you transitioned to become a woman?
Your words must be written in gold ink because they are precious.
This is so true went through this before learn the hard way. Love this message people need to hear it. Wish I had heard it when I needed it before. So I wouldn't waste so much time feeling sorry for myself.
Sometimes losing "The one" can be the best thing that ever happened to you. It can take a long time to realize that though. For me, the realization came when I looked at a FB picture of her (15 years later) and found she had gotten very, very fat. I really dodged a bullet there.
And then they even have the nerve to call you superficial, you dodged a whole elephant
@hadriusreznor3247 lol now, don't disrespect elephants like that, those are marvelous creatures hhha
Oh yeah! After years of her laying with every guy with a pulse, all of a sudden I was good enough! Pass! If I wasn’t good enough then, I’m not settling for every guy’s used up leftovers!
Even if you chase and get her, it's not a happy ending. You don't really know someone unless you see their worst and most guys aren't patient enough to wait and see how she really is. If she's willing to treat a lower class person in her mind as trash, she will eventually treat you like trash for sticking up for yourself.
NEVER ever chase. Never. The moment you chase, these hyenas smell weakness and will destroy you.
@@retiredby3570 Lol, enjoyed your imagery, but can't help but think you and most men here are in general being unrealistically negative. They got (or have been getting) burned by women, so they're "evil". Maybe many (or even most) women are. However, they're really very much like us in just using their available resources to do their best to be happy.
That said, don't give up on finding your dream woman. She's out there if you just know how to find her and win her and have the knowledge and ability to make it happen.
That of course is a big "if". In the alternative, why bother? Yeah, women can be cute and sweet, intellectually and spiritually stimulating and fun. However, they're at the same time UNGODLY taxing to your heart, mind, emotion, time, and bank account. Are they worth it?
A man doesn't need a woman to enjoy the outdoors, television, food, music, friendship, pets, or even children and sex. Plus, even the sex gets old after a few weeks, months, or years.
Yeah, I sometimes literally ACHE for a woman when I encounter one that's young, hot, sweet, smart, responsible, and seemingly enamored with me as well. Then I return to my paid-for home in my paid-for car to enjoy immersing myself in my life of doing exactly what I want, when I want, with whom I want and I think, "I'd have to find one HELL of a woman to beat THIS!" :oD
@@nathan2813 gold 😂👍
Now that's interesting! 👍
Thanks for the valuable information Rich, as a young dude who's still finding his path, i appreciate all your videos! Stay excellent :)
My ex is my same age 25, 26 this year. She's a daddy's money rich girl IG model type. I knew I lusted for her but the level of narcissism was unbearable at times. Like rapping Cardi B lyrics AT me in her dad's Rolls Royce lol. She literally had her best friends leave her because she spoke about only herself so much. I live alone in the "ghetto" part of LA (according to her) and she literally dumped me because I couldn't spoil her with materials and own a motorcycle not a car. Sad part is she was crazy about me and initiated things in the relationship. I gave her everything I could. But like most of these women today, that money can control their soul. She called me a broke boy who lives in a shack in the ghetto and to come back to her when I have a car. I can NEVER forget those words. I will be emotionally unavailable until I've proven excellence to myself. Scars make Stars, boys lets put in work.
Hello
I’ve learnt so much in the past few months , still hurts but it’s getting better
Never ever ever , invest all your time in one woman , you’ll live to regret it , move on and look back with gained experience
Told my girlfriend I love her and she broke up with me a few days later
F
Teach Rich. Your info is more valuable than any school or university.
Oneitis is often a result in a high disparity in SMV. Usualy it starts in the beginning of the relationship or when time has passed and one of them gets fat/depressed and so on. You can kick oneitis ass by beeing a high value man and the other sex gets oneitis thinking of you :) cheers my dudes
Very much agree.
It's not a disparity on SMV but a lack of options wich in most cases he's caused by such disparity we have no matter our SMV to keep spinning plates
So much truth in 6 mins. If I only had this 6 minute talk 25 years ago.
I wish I knew this 2 years ago. It was a conscious choice to call her "My Personal Angel" . But I was deluding myself. And when the fall comes the painful bit is waking back up into reality. Be careful about setting yourself up for the fall. And she did nothing, she just is what she is. Now when I think back, if I just had taken the cavalier approach the whole way through, I might have still had her around. But I took her too seriously, I taught her to up the anti , start demanding more and more, until she became out of control. Painful lessons.
Hello
If you openly called her your "personal angel" then we know why she left.
I really like this guy's commentary. Its so sober and real world it hits you in the face.
Way back in my teens. I finally decided to 'love back' a woman that was madly in love with me. Bizarre- almost immediately after I finally told her 'I love you' and started making monogamous plans she bolted. She hooked up with another guy a 'beta simp guy' that allowed her to move in etc...Hard hard lesson to learn as a young man.
F*ck bro I've been exactly the same boat few months ago I was so devastated but never ever again! !
@@danrey2435 hang in man, it gets way better. Put her 100% out of your mind and move onward and upward.
Thanks Man ! It's Funny How Love can able to Destroy you if you are not aware with it
Had that "the one" philosophy at 17 and it is long gone from my thought process.
If you're determining the quality of your life by having the perfect person, you've already lost.
" Chase excellence not women " Love it!
So true!! When you finally find love for yourself and your own needs, life finally starts coming together! Looking back, it all seems so clear! But when you are stuck in it, that feeling is miserable. Now it’s laughable, ridiculous and embarrassing 😂
That was spot on!! The MUST know that, if they act up, they will be replaced!
In my early twenties i was totaly obsessed and in love with one girl, after having some relationship with her she treated be badly and dishonerd my honour as a man. I was at that time totaly a Beta Simp, and i even cried openly about it and put myself totaly ashame towards others. But after all, because of this happening my eyes and understanding where opened concerning women and how they behave and by wich games they play, and i became automatically a Alfa red pill guy, even i did not realised that by myself at that time. It was later in life that i realized that i had become a Red pill guy, when i came to know more about it. Later in life i saw this same women in the bus, and she approached me, and for some reason she apologized herself to me for the bad treatment she did on me at that time. My response was, that i do not care about it anymore, and i do not need your apology, and totaly ingore her.
Spitting nothing but facts Rich. Life is too short to focus on "the one".
You can say all the right things to someone, but it's hard to get over someone. I've had five short and long term relationships but this one girl stays in my head.
i feel you bro...i have this one woman this last year,when shes not in my life,im really fucking productive in my job,but when she came,im always feel procrastinate,cant even pump a simple work....women really an energy vampire,they will leave you while your high and dry....
escort is the way to go
Same here.....
I am lucky I went through this as a teenager. I’ve led a good life due to this.
That BS happened to me in 2009. NEVER again will I invest my time, $$$$, heart, & Soul into a woman... I recovered, I became stronger as a person, & damn did my eyes open up into the realms of female behavior & their cheating ways... Here I was, w/my Law License, great practice, beautiful Home(s), Cars/Boat/Jet Skies...etc, & yet this sh*t still happened to me. NEVER EVER again.
Lol : )