To love and cherish seems so much more reasonable! In my country we say "I want to love you, share happiness and sadness with you", and I just love the "I want to", it is like you want to but can't promise anything
When I was young, everybody assume either that my mother was my stepmother or that she was my mother but my sister was my stepsister (child of my father first marriage) because : 1. My sister is 7 years older than me (and therefore we can't share the same mother apparently) 2. My parents married when I was 12 so my mother was automatically my stepmothers (I imagine people can't have children when they're not married....)
My boyfriend has basically no relationship with his dad, and some unpleasant feelings around his last name, so we're thinking of either he take mine, or we both take the name of a grandparent instead. But I know in some areas, people either don't change names, or hyphenate the last names together. I know a few couples who didn't change names at all.
My mom always told us about her wedding night - having to shake my dad awake from the hotel bed to help her remove the 111 bobby pins in her hair. He kept falling back asleep on her 😂
hahahaha I made Dan promise that he wouldn't get so drunk that he would pass out before helping me out of my dress! I would have been SO MAD if he was fast asleep and I was stuck in my dress! 😂
I love the given gender neutral terms like fiance, spouse, wedding party, newly weds, etc. Some easy swaps are person of honor, or instead of "best man" it could be "best (insert name)". Personally, I'd love to always be referred to as the "best Lisa".
One of my cousins had her brother as a "bridesmaid," so they called that group of people "the bride's party," to make sure he was included. Of course you could also replace that with a name, like "the Lisa party," if you wanted and it would still work.
Instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen, I think of them as “the wedding party.” When my friend got married a couple years ago, she called us her “bridespeople” since we weren’t all women, which I also like.
@@ebon8853 or when Monica and Chandler almost got married in Vegas. "Borrowing" a blue sweater from a store so that had something blue, borrowed and new
My wife and I tried to avoid as many as possible. We got married with only four friends there at a registry office in hackney in smart clothes we already owned. Went to London zoo and had a meal then went home. No engagement ring. No family. Saved a bucket load of money and went to Japan for two weeks instead. Had the best time. Spoken to dozens of people that have said they wished they had done it and not had the big white wedding. People should not bow to family pressure.
I learned in fashion-history class that the bouquet was invented for when woman had to wear corsets so tight they couldn't breath right, to concentrate on the scent of the flowers to not faint. sounds quite horrible, but i'd also have a bouquet as i like flowers and it's nice to have something in the hands... :)
One of my friends did that at her wedding and her youngest brother was there (almost a 10 year age gap between them) and he was so grossed out! I definitely don't want to have that. I don't want people to see my legs anyway, as a lot of the time I need to wear compression stockings due to a chronic illness. I also won't be standing at the front the whole time. Maybe my partner and I can find some fancy chairs, or just cover some old chairs in flowers.
So many of these traditions get more strange the more you think about them. The whole "giving your daughter away" traditions makes me physically cringe
It really depends i think. I walked down the isle with my dad and i was so glad not to enter this huge room with so many people alone! But to everyone teir own :)
I think it would be waaaay better if bride and groom walked together... At least you could walk the isle with BOTH parents/people of your choice not just the father.
The father giving his daughter away used to be basically the trading of property, women were property, and when they got married they would become their husbands property. But now I still don’t think do the father giving his daughter away a. Bad thing, because when a women gets married she becomes a family with her husband, so the father giving his daughter away still makes sense. I’m going to have my father give me away.
The giving to charities is a great replacement for a wedding registry. I have much respect for you two for doing that. While wedding registry can be useful for some, did established partners it just has always rubbed me the wrong way.
@@hannahwitton At the same time though, you can see where the tradition came from - young couples who'd lived separately with parents prior to marriage needing stuff for their new marital home. It's not necessarily 21st centrury relevant, but you can understand it. For me, the one that I dislike more is "please contribute to our honeymoon".
@@hannahwitton I actually think if you are going to accept gifts from people, a registry is best. Like you don’t need 5 great aunts buying you fancy wine glasses you won’t use but rather being able to ask for stuff you might need for your house Also, it takes pressure off people for money. You can add cheap and expensive gifts so each person can pick a gift that suits their budget and they don’t feel pressure to put a fixed amount of money in a card
@@hannahwitton In my country (Dutchie here) it's customary to give the bride & groom an envelope with cash with a card/well wishes. The idea is that you help pay for their expensive wedding day which you are invited to. The amount differs if you are a guest for the entire day (inluding meals etc) or just got an invite to the party in the evening. As a day-guest you give between 50 and 75 euro, also depending on your own funds. I like the idea of the guests helping the couple out a bit and all enjoying the day together.
My female friend is getting married to a woman this weekend. They decided to deal with "groomsmen/bridesmaid" situation in this way.....skirts on one side, pants on the other. Doesn't matter what gender identity is each outfit, whichever your attire preference will then assign the side you stand. Love it
This sounds silly, but this made me realise how much of the whole wedding spectacle is optional. Definitely looking forward to getting married one day and only doing what we both actively choose to do 💜
Traditions are mostly fluff, but I guess without fluff there's not much of an event. They're really just convention rather than requirements, so I say to anyone do your own thing and include as many or as few traditons as you like, or even add a few of your own to make it your day. As for sex on the wedding night, it's like any good date - sex is nice if it happens but should never be the goal.
I don't want a veil, but I do want a cape. Seriously, these need to be known as an option. A veil that is basically attached at the sleeves/straps or around the collarbone part of your chest (for strapless dresses). I want a sparkly white one because C A P E. Also I want to plant a seed at our ceremony and plant it on my parents property when its big enough :)
I would totally wear wedding cape over a veil. Honestly I'd wear a cape over a veil any day. Except maybe at the funeral of my husband that died under suspicious circumstances, that calls for a veil.
I've actually seen so many very pretty wedding capes, but they're often custom made by small businesses and therefore quite expensive. So I agree, they should become a standard option.
My wife and I were going to keep the "not seeing each other until the altar" bit of tradition, but the night before our wedding the church got struck by lightning and it killed the air conditioning in most of the building (we got married in late June, in the southeast USA...) When she was fully dressed, the heat and her anxiety got the better of her so I had to rush upstairs and help her calm down. As soon as the ceremony was over and the pictures taken, she chucked the wedding dress and came to the reception in shorts and a t-shirt! ^_^
That’s really adorable! Sounds like you guys had a good time. Something always goes “wrong” but you were there for her and it seems like everyone was a good sport and enjoyed it anyway :)
Neither me nor my partner like cake. No we didn't have a wedding cake. Had lots of other sweets and cookies though. Whipped cream is just... too fat for me, I don't like it.
My mom likes cake but doesn't like brownies, which I always thought was weird because they're basically the same in my mind. Now I know Dan likes brownies and not cake, and I feel like some sort of balance has been restored in the universe. Lol :)
I got married last year and a few things come to mind to share: Our speeches were by my bridesmaids, which they rehearsed and had props! The two best men did a speech each. And then my husband and I stood up and just did a bunch of thank yous. I didn't ask my Dad to do a speech as he's the tangent King and I didn't want to put my guests through that! He absolutely didn't mind. We did do favours. Our 'wedding breakfast' was afternoon tea so we had little pots of homemade (by my Mum) jam, which also doubled as the place settings as I put name tags on the jars. A tradition that you didn't mention, which I chose to leave, is the Dad giving away the Bride. My Dad wouldn't have done this even if I'd asked. He's pretty liberal and isn't down with the whole idea of that and neither am I. So I walked down the aisle by myself behind my bridesmaids (who had tambourines instead of flowers!)
I’ve worried about the whole ‘you have to have sex on your wedding night’ expectation a lot before - it’s so nice to hear you speak about that! There is so much pressure that it needs to amazing & tbh if I ever did get married, I reckon I’d be absolutely shattered & would just clonk out at the end of the day 😂 you & Dan are defo doing it right 🥰
we didn't either. we went home (gasp-not a hotel?) and my best friend and one of his friends came with us. she helped me out of the bobbypins and dress while the guys unloaded the car. i don't even think we made it upstairs before we both passed out on the couch from exhaustion!
My partner and I heard the ‘honour and obey’ vows at his sister’s wedding (and his dad physically passed her over to her groom with this handshake thing) and we were so shocked by it that we searched out alternative traditional vows. These are what we’re going for; You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself, But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am a free person, But I shall serve you in those ways you require. And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand. I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night. And the eyes into which I smile in the morning. I pledge to you the first bite from my bread, And the first drink from my cup. I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care. This is my wedding vow to you. This is a marriage of equals.
YES! I am a wedding photographer and I've been saying for literally a decade that wedding brownies need to be a thing! Wedding cake is usually bad. Brownies are always good! You're the first person I've seen do it :)
My 3rd sons wedding was facetimed due to Covid, and my 2nd son had a brother-in-law do the same for his older brother and his family who were stationed in Germany and couldn't fly home at the time several years ago.
I don't plan on getting married. I'm going to have a tiny home built. My plan when I get into a relationship again, is that the guy can get a house of some sort built on my property, but I'm keeping my custom made house exactly as I like. Then we both have space too, so we can be like "Who's house do we want to sleep in tonight?" And just walk across the yard. Or camp out if it's warm and do star gazing because it'll be in the middle of nowhere anyway.
@@JominC he can move it if he needs to. Or we can sell part of the property. Or we could sell the whole thing and I drive my house down to the next property I purchase. Or we keep the property and be neighbours.
@@aellalee4767 But to do any of this, you will have final say right?(except movig a house but that is very expensive and requires him owning a suitable property which is somewhat proximate) So at the end of the day you are giving him a financial reason to stay on your good side. That sounds a bit toxic in my opinion. My advice is, you should sell a part of your property to him and he should build a house on that or he can buy a neighbouring property and build a house on it.
I'm surprised that no one mentioned one russian tradition called "Выкуп". I have no idea how to translate it properly (google says it's Bride price but i'm not sure if it's the correct term). Basically on the wedding day the groom has to do quest-like things, prepared by the maid of honor, bride's parents, friends, and relatives, while the bride is sitting in her room and waiting for the groom to finish the tasks. Usually it happens at bride's childhood home or her parents' house. And usually for the quests there are some things like having the groom to tell some fact about the bride, or guessing something about her, or telling 10 reasons he loves her, or screaming from the top of his lungs that he loves her, or sometimes even paying money. Essentially through completing these tasks the groom proves himself worthy and he "buys" the bride from her parents. (i'm really sorry for my english)
In Hungary there is a tradition when the bride gets kidnapped during the reception and the groom has to solve tasks and eventually buys the bride back with some objects 🤦♀️
In Italy we actually do wedding favours! It can be something as small as a jar of jam, little pastries, a plant, a little flower vase, with maybe a card thanking the people for going to the wedding and the date. I think it's because we do the same with baptism, communion and confirmation, where people ususally gift "confetti" which are sugar coated almonds. I'm obviously talking in general, many children here go to church because their parents push them to do so. At weddings I personally find it really cute!
The majority of the recent wedding I’ve gone to have been non-traditional and they were so special. I am lesbian anyway so I’m not a part of (nor support) the catholic religion like some of my family still does. My bro just recently got married with a small wedding, a justice of the peace, and had it outdoors. It was beautiful especially to not be stuck in a church with archaic beliefs. They already have 2 children, 1 child from a previous marriage, and 1 child together. It was awesome to have the kids involved in the ceremony. It nice that some of society is breaking out of old ingrained traditions. Traditional is great if that’s what you still want but it’s nice for those that don’t to be able to freely have their wedding be how they want it. 💕
Why do you hate those. When a women Mary’s a man she becomes a family with him, that’s why the father gives his daughter away, sure it used to be for property reasons, but now it’s seen as the father accepting that she’s not his little girl anymore. And the boyfriend asking permission should happen, because the parents should be on board.
@@lydianowinsky7746 There is no reason for the parents to be on board in a modern society. And why should the girl's parents be any more on board than the boy's?
@@lydianowinsky7746 I really want my dad walk me down the aisle but I also know why it's problematic. But tbh most traditions are problematic if you look at where they're coming from. I just want to share that moment with my father because I really love him and that's it.
I suppose that back in the day when extramarital sex was a complete taboo and it was actually the norm to 'wait until marriage', there would have been quite a bit of eagerness from most (not all, but most) newlyweds to immediately have sex at the first opportunity, but really it's the same as any other part of a wedding; it's your day, so do what you like the most.
I submitted the marrying a man suggestion! I hope you remember. It is such a simple one that I thought it would be unnoticed so I suggested it. This has made me happy to be included in your video :D I hope you're having a great day
I've always thought my friend did her bridesmaids dresses quite nicely. We had to pay for them, but rather than choose a specific dress that all of us had to wear, she told each of us to get whatever style of dress we liked. The only requirements were that it be from a specific wedding designer (she chose an affordable one with a HUGE selection), in a specific color, and a specific accent color of the style we chose had an accent. Then our shoes just needed to be silver, and several of us ended up getting the same strappy heels from Payless. Her reasoning behind doing it that way was that 1) she chose us because she loved each of us for who we individually were, 2) she wanted our bridesmaid dresses to reflect that individuality, and 3) she knew that each of us had VERY different body types and wanted each of us to wear something we would feel beautiful in. As a result, all of us still looked uniform because of the matching designer and color while still looking fabulous since each of our dresses flattered our body types. I seriously think every bride who goes the bridesmaid route should handle the dresses that way. It was an incredibly positive experience.
My husband and I got married in September in the US. we had originally planned a more traditional big wedding at a hall, but even though there weren’t too many restrictions by the time we had our wedding, we just didn’t feel safe having 200 people in a room together for a big party. We had a mostly traditional wedding party, but I did have one bridesman, so we called my whole group bridesfolx. The girls did all have matching dresses, and I wore a white dress, which also contributed to the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. I wore my grandmas wedding dress from 1950, the only alteration being removing the sleeves. I bought some new jewelry to wear, and got my nails painted blue. The borrowed was my mom’s garter from my parents wedding, and my sister is planning on wearing it for her wedding next year too, so we started a new tradition. I did have wedding flowers, I made all the arrangements from red wooden roses. I made my husband’s boutineer out of ribbon rosettes from his mom’s wedding veil. We did a first dance and a father daughter dance. We got married at a drive in movie theater, so my dad drove me in to walk me down the isle in his 1956 Buick. We did say “I do” and exchanged rings. We threw out some traditions, kept others, and started some new ones. Overall it was the perfect day.
My boyfriend and I are getting married in 2 years and I am excited to discuss with him which traditions we will keep for our wedding. Not only do we come from different cultures but also I couldn't care less for most traditions in general and he finds many of them to be romantic.
We more or less did the same ones as you! I adore my husband, but we mainly got married because I needed a visa to stay in the country. My parents couldn't come, we only had a few months notice, and I honestly just don't like being the centre of attention, so it was a quick courthouse ceremony followed by dinner with his prents and our witnesses, then straight to the airport for a week in Paris. It was so much fun though, and still one of my favourite days.
My partner and I always wanted a very small wedding, and COVID made it all socially acceptable! Literally 7 people including us, the photographer, and the celebrant. No parents (flying in your at-risk folks during COVID? LOL) me, partner, celebrant, photographer, her assistant, and two witnesses. I did not wear a dress, but my partner wore a white one. No veils, garters, cake, dance, "giving away" of either of us, wedding invites (though we'll send announcement postcards with our wedding pictures on them after), speeches, We DID do engagement rings, which then doubled as wedding rings on the big day, partner had a bouquet, and we all had a sit down meal at a nice restaurant after. We DID do a wedding registry, but only put things we actually needed (like kitchen stuff), and it was mostly for the Boomers in our family, who would have been weirded out that we didn't do one anyway. The only thing we would change is our parents not being there. We don't have a lot of money, so a super-low-budget wedding was EXACTLY what we wanted!
With the something old etc rhyme I was always taught that the rhyme ends with ‘and a silver sixpence in her shoe’ as my grandma gave one to me and my cousin when we were young for our respective wedding days
My fiance and I are skipping all of the "traditions" that aren't fun for us. No "grand entrance" to the reception, no bouquet toss it garter toss, no traditional vows, we are staying together the night before and getting ready together, my fiance (a cis guy) is having an entirely female party, that we are calling groomswomen. We aren't giving favors, our cake is going to be colorful and nerdy and delicious, and we are both wearing converse. Oh, and our bridal party is walking down the aisle to the jurrasic park theme. Fuck traditions.
YES TO BASICALLY ALL OF THIS!!! I'm getting married next year and wow I agree so so so much. So many things make me uncomfortable like making a speech and doing the first dance. I'm only keeping a few of the traditions.
Well, I clearly did not pay attention to YT for a while, so may I add, bleatedly, my best wishes for your health and happiness for many many years to come!
And Monica and chandler's almost wedding in Vegas where she stuffs the New and Blue sweater up her dress, saying they were borrowing it so it was a 3 in 1
Wedding favours are a HUUUUGE thing in Italy! Favours in general, you prepare them for all sort of events/ceremonies, often linked to christian/religious 'moment in life'
My parents got married back in the early nineties and my mum was that radical feminist who refused to say "to honour and to obey" (she actually has an argument with her parents over it!) I'm glad that now it is much less common in the vows 😂
Love this vid! Getting married in a less traditional ceremony in a few months and always enjoy hearing about how people tailor their weddings to themselves as a couple
I've seen it in a lot of places, but the one that always comes to mind first is the final episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch when she ends up wearing the bracelet Harvey gave her to her wedding to Aaron.
I married my husband in March before the COVID restrictions begun in Melbourne. We ended up getting married on a Wednesday afternoon in my in-laws backyard. It was just our families & I ordered from our favourite pizza joint for food afterwards. It wasn’t what I had planned but it was perfect 🧡
I've heard of all of these. And I say do whatever you want to do if it's what YOU want to do. I've had more than one conversation in the past telling the bride to do what they want, not what others tell them they should do. I feel like too many "traditions" are continued due to peer pressure and not because it's what the couple actually wants to do. My advice is usually "Tell them to f*** off, this your day, not theirs."
In Germany we have the tradition of "kidnapping the bride" (Brautentführung) She will go with some friends and they drink alcohol until the groom and the other wedding guests find her.. I'm usually not a fan of tradition but I love this one :)
One thing I liked when I got married is in order to obtain a wedding license we had to swear that neither of us were being bought or sold. A bit alarming when I was told but in retrospect I am glad it's a thing
They should ask you that in a separate room if they are really concerned about the trafficking element. Make sure there’s no coercion by asking separately and in private.
I want to do this now too! Such a fun idea! I got married two years ago and had a pretty non-traditional wedding. The one thing we hella splurged on was the invitations. I live far away from all my family and close friend, so neither my mom nor my bridesmaids could dress shop with me. My mom cared the most about the invitations, so when she visited me, we went all out at a local paper shop.
I keep all the invitations of everything I am invited to. Better than a souvenir or gift or party favor imo because it’s personal :) plus cards don’t take up that much space comparatively
I like the "something old something new something borrowed and something blue" thing but I like the idea of it all being the same object like they used the tardis in doctor who
Favors -- usually something VERY small. We got plantable paper flowers (like handmade paper, thick, with flower seeds throughout it, cut out in flower shapes) they were tossed loosely over the dinner tables to be cute, and them people could take them home and plant them! Flowers -- I used loose flowers from a supplier, not a shop. Got a bunch of tall skinny vases and put 2-3 stems of lilac blossoms in each, surrounded by a few small candles. Centerpieces! If you're going to toss the bouquet, it's common to purchase a second bouquet for this purpose. Your bouquet is more expensive, fancy, you may want to save it. A second tiny bouquet, similar to a bridesmaid bouquet perhaps, is purchased to be thrown/damaged/lost forever. In he US it is NOT COMMON for the bride/groom to pay for the wedding party's outfits. They pay for their own stuff. You just pick it. I did help pay for one of my bridesmaids cuz otherwise she couldn't have participated.
I wish people use their brains to plan their weddings like you. Tradition is fun and everything but not all of them are nice and some of them are don't even have any base. As people are getting more educated and also in this pandemic situation you guys did a really perfect job.
My parents broke a lot of traditions lol. My mother made outfits for the entire wedding party (her and my dad as well). Her and her sister were in purple (and gold) and my father and his siblings were in blue (and grey) (no formal bridal party i think).Their parents were in whatever. My father actually borrowed a spare pair of boots from a friend. Everyone was dressed in medieval clothes. They have since worn their outfits a few times as costumes (They weren't historically correct so not a lot of uses unfortunately). They did a handfasting ceremony because my mother is pagan but no rings (my mother already has multiple per finger!). My mother bought a lotr one ring years later for my father for like a $1 on ebay as she had black titanium one as a sort of wedding ring but my father doesn't wear it, my mother wears hers on her middle finger and I actually wear a matching ring sometimes as my ace ring. They had a picnic in a park with the food being bring a plate to share (my mother's grandma refused to attend because of that. too untraditional. idk if she just didn't know about the medieval clothes or...). they arrived by horse and carriage and walked in with someone carrying their heraldic banners from the re-enactment group they are part of. for the honeymoon they went to Tasmania (We're from melbourne) and stayed with family down there. Entire wedding+honeymoon cost less than my aunts wedding dress.
My friend wanted to keep her bouquet so I told her to throw one of the bouquets from the table arrangement cuz it is her wedding and that bouquet will mean more to her than anyone else.
I simply adore you...and I’m 63 years old! My wonderful wife and I have been married for 33 years...I was fortunate to find the right person We lived together for five years first, married in a court of law with my mom, brother, and grandmother there. It was perfect:D
I thought you would mention the walking down the aisle/given away moment. Definitely one I would leave. I also recently found out that cutting the cake is meant to symbolise "breaking" the hyman and then the crumbs are about fertility! Definitely put me right off
At my sister's wedding she threw one of the bridesmaids' flowers. That way if they got smooshed or the person kept them it didn't matter. It was her wedding planners idea and I think it's pretty smart, personally.
I remember being a bridesmaid at at wedding when I was about 10. I though it was really weird how it was put together and felt like it wasn’t genuine and felt more like a TV set with rehearsals and specific lines and placements. I then was set on never getting married because I didn’t see the point and felt it was just old traditions that had no importance to me personally. Now I am with my partner and we’ve talked about marriage. I would happily marry him because I now see it as another part or step of our relationship. I don’t think you have to do things or do things in a specific order for a relationship to be valid, but I think for us it just makes sense and works for us, which is a very different mindset than what I used to have. I’m also not someone that likes all eyes on me, even for birthdays, I avoid telling people till the last minute because I don’t want attention or anything. I would not want the big traditional wedding and I would have one in a church as I’m not religious and neither is my partner. I’m also lucky that my mum is very much in the camp of she would have got married in jeans if her mum let her, so she doesn’t care for tradition either. I also much prefer calling him my husband and we joke about already being married anyway. We don’t care for the terms boyfriend or girlfriend and partner often feels clunky or formal in some situations. But I would definitely be specific about what I wanted and what traditions I was not interested in. Personally there’s nothing I would have to have, but there are some things I would like, some things I’m not bothered about and some things I definitely wouldn’t want.
Amazing! I just got married last weekend and have my own channel too and would love to create my own take on this (credit to you of course!). Love your work Hannah, you're always so articulate and a huge inspiration to me xx
In the States it's pretty normal for the bridesmaids/groomsmen to have to buy their own clothes, to the specification of the couple getting married. I think that's probably why you sometimes see wedding photos (usually of very young people) with like eight people lined up behind each of them. I bought my dress for the only wedding I've been in, but the bride basically said, "this color please, but otherwise get whatever you like and think you'd wear again" which is pretty reasonable.
This was so interesting. I don't plan on marrying anytime soon but one of the things that always puts me and my partner off is the sheer thought of the cost. So interesting to hear what you guys did x
What about having your dad walk you down the aisle? I was very against it because it's such a patriarchy thing... but I ended up doing it because my dad was so excited about it. I am so glad I did it, it's one of the nicest memories (and pictures!) I have.
I actually don’t think I have ever been to a wedding that didn’t provide a gift... either seeds for flowers, a key with the couples engraved on it, or my favourite a bottle opener! I never realized people didn’t do it, I thought it was “mandatory”
I've been a bridesmaid over 5 times and I've always purchased my own dress. Its never been mentioned that the bride and groom would pay for the outfits of the wedding party.
The Friends reference that I remember is when Phoebe gets married out on the street in the snow and she goes to take her coat off before she walks down the aisle. Ross is like, "Won't you be cold?" and she says, "I don't care. I'll be my something blue!"
Also when Monica and Chandler want to get married in Las Vegas, Monica "borrows" a blue sweater from the gift shop, making it something new as well and Chandler says that he has a ten years old condom in his wallet for the something old part. Does anyone knows where this comes from ? It's seems kind of random to me but I would love to know more !
Finding a "soul mate" and getting married to said "soul mate", has been #1 on my bucket list since the age of 15, but it never came to fruition. Now being in my 40's, finding someone to marry now, is highly unlikely. I never wanted to be a lifetime bachelor, I just never had the opportunity to find someone to marry.
You still have time. My dad didn’t get married till his late 30’s. Plus if you want children men’s biological clocks aren’t like women’s. He had a kid at 46. My father is in his late 70’s with a child In his 20’s. Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet? Unless you are loving the bachelor life which is fine too. It is hard with Covid to socialize right now.
@@PinkRose0910 I'd like to get married, but I don't want kids, not at my age anyways. I have a lot of nieces and nephews, and I don't mind being an uncle to them.
We wanted a simple wedding where we would do the bare minimum in terms of formalities and then for a party we'd have a meal with close friends and family instead of a whole complicated dinner and dance. The meal would have to be good, because we enjoy that and we wanted to have a special beer brewn for the occasion since we have a lot of brewer friends and enjoy having a drink. I wanted a dress that I could wear afterwards as a normal dress and we did not want rings. The plan was also to start trying for a baby sometime soon because I believed that we'd have a hard time conceiving (because of previous medical things) and thought it would easily take us half a year to two years, maybe longer so it'd be best to get a head start. Then I got pregnant at our first attempt and we didn't even bother to plan the whole wedding. We did the official part for free in a very basic setting and had apple pie at a local café afterwards with our official witnesses. That was it. We did get a caligraphed marriage certificate to surprise our friends and family with. Oh and the special beer brewn for the occasion turned into a special brew to celebrate the birth of our baby. We did a special brew for the second one as well and got coasters printed instead of birth cards to hand out. I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't even realise we got married.
Ok here’s something very wrong... section 12 of the matrimonial causes act 1973 states that a wedding can be annulled if it is not consummated. So this one is actually more then a tradition it’s a legal requirement to seal the deal. They don’t mention that one in the ceremony do they 🤷🏻♂️(p.s. we were knackered as well and sex was last thing on our minds)
I don't think that law is in any way enforced. I mean, I very highly doubt that some government worker comes to knock on your door a week or so after your wedding to ask you if you fucked yet. Even if that did happen, and you didn't consumate it, you coudl always lie because I don't think they would have a way to check. I agree that its a stupid law and it shouldn't exist, but no one follows it and no one enforces it, so in the end it doesn't really matter.
A few years ago, I've been to an old classmate's wedding. He is very religious, and it was the most uncomfortable wedding I've ever seen. Everyone had to keep singing psalms (if that's what you call them in English), we as outsiders were constantly frowned upon, and all the bride and groom could talk about when you asked them about their day was that they were happy that they could make god the centre of their day and worship him. Nothing about their own relationship or happiness was ever discussed. I definitely know what I don't want for our wedding day next year now though :D
My husband's family are Mormons, his sisters and their husbands were all virgins when they got married, and they said, they didn't have sex on their wedding night either, they were too tired, too nervous and they let it develop slowly on their honeymoon. They didn't feel any pressure.
I know a couple who refered to the bridesmaides/groomsmen situation as "best people" (you know, from best man), to make it gender neutral and I kinda like that!
I've been granted exceptional circumstances for my wedding so we have a lockdown wedding on the 20th of February. We can't even have a picnic in the park outside afterwards so I've organised some individualised tea boxes for our 4 guests. No bridesmaids, no groomsmen, no bouquet, no meal, no first dance. I'm not wearing white though I do have white accent items and a veil (got it off Amazon). Can't speak to the threshold bit (might be a bit scary my flats right next to the stairs) or the sex on the wedding night bit yet but we might be too full from all the cake and sandwiches
@@hannahwitton omg you should do a review of this !! au.perifit.co/products/kegel-exerciser-with-app?Acquisition_CA%2FAU%2FNZ&WC_Health%2FWellness%2FYoga%2FPilates%2FSelfcare&S39%29_Video_CandiceJane+%2F%2F+Product+Page+-+Copie+2&fbclid=IwAR3xRbxi0M45v2A4Q1sgo5eRa3cxHEOjK2Qw4RpLhLeLlQ1ycLXbAvnPECA It’s supposed to be amazing 😍
At my brother's wedding they had a nice tradition called a dollar dance, where guests queue to have a quick dance with the bride or groom, they pay a dollar which goes in a hat and they get to spend a minute chatting to the bride or groom. Gets the couple a bit of money and means they can spend a minute talking to each guest :) Also I like the Greek tradition of pinning money onto the bride and groom - at my friend's wedding they ended up with thousands because people were pinning £50 notes to them!
I find you're idea of "we're not getting married, but we're moving together, can you help with paying furniture ?" SO COOL. That's what house warming was for actually.
The traditional event to hold to celebrate moving in together and furnishing a home together is a house-warming party. Usually held in the home itself, regardless of how far along you've come in furnishing it - in fact, before you've filled it with furniture is a good time because there's more floor space! People get to be nosy about your place, everyone is celebrating and the gifts are normally home-goods (or money to help pay for them). Sometimes it's useful to mine traditions and adapt them for right now.
Re: alcohol, we're still debating it ourselves... We're in Ireland so it's pretty expected to have an open bar, but neither of us drink, and we hate being around drunk people, and know a few relatives who get pretty ... troublesome, shall we say, when drunk. But still, the thought of a dry Irish Wedding is apparently insane xD
Exactly the same when it comes to Polish weddings. Not having free alcohol for the guests at a Polish wedding (or a wedding where there would be quite a few Polish guests) is considered an insult ot the guests. My mom's brother got married last year and I think they spent around 1-3 thousand on just vodka alone, not to mention all the other beverages like champage, juices, cocktails, and soft drinks.
My friends got married in a tent in the bride's garden, and they had an open bar, but there was only so much there, so it wasn't like being at a hotel or whatever where they'd keep supplying it endlessly. There was a drink with dinner, a drink for toasts and then a drink or two after, per person, but not enough for everyone to get outrageously drunk. Obv that depends on your venue but I liked that as an option.
I wish these traditional things were optional in indian weddings! I am getting married in 6 months and I have always wanted a simple intimate wedding with just just our parents and siblings. On the contrary everyone else (my parents) wants a big wedding. Anyway, I am just blessed to have a big family on both the sides now and seeing them happy is everything.😇
Having a bouquet so you don't have to think about your hands is so relatable! Must remember this if my partner convinces me getting married is worth doing
Traditions can be fun, but only if they feel right for you. I definitely don't want a white wedding dress. My partner and I talked about what we would like (we're not even engaged yet haha) and we both have a lot of friends so I think the focus will be on throwing a massive party and having lots of speeches and songs(I'm a singer and I know lots of my friends will want to play something)
Just wondered if you took Dan's surname/ if he took yours or if you hyphenated. I know your channel is very much based on your name as Hannah witton so would completely understand if you didn't change it. Just wondered is all, loved the video - makes me want to have a more chilled out wedding X
A friend got married in 2020. He is German, she is French. The first marriage we were invited to in an internet wedding. The celebration was in France, but few were able to travel because otherwise a caranteine was necessary. A week later they couldn't have married because of the restrictions. The borders were closed, but they were back in Germany.
I think the obey part of "honor and obey" has mostly been out of weddings for a long time. The vows usually just have "honor" in now for both the bride and groom (at a hetero wedding)
We got married in a church and we chose to say “to love and to cherish” instead of “honour and obey”. You can pick x
I heard that for the first time at a wedding as a pre-teen and I gave my mom such a look of shock.... She told me you don't have to say that lol
To love and cherish seems so much more reasonable! In my country we say "I want to love you, share happiness and sadness with you", and I just love the "I want to", it is like you want to but can't promise anything
I'm surprised "bride takes the husband's surname" wasn't on this list - my mum still gets asked (nearly 30 years on) why she didn't take my dad's name
When I was young, everybody assume either that my mother was my stepmother or that she was my mother but my sister was my stepsister (child of my father first marriage) because :
1. My sister is 7 years older than me (and therefore we can't share the same mother apparently)
2. My parents married when I was 12 so my mother was automatically my stepmothers (I imagine people can't have children when they're not married....)
My boyfriend has basically no relationship with his dad, and some unpleasant feelings around his last name, so we're thinking of either he take mine, or we both take the name of a grandparent instead. But I know in some areas, people either don't change names, or hyphenate the last names together. I know a few couples who didn't change names at all.
My mom always told us about her wedding night - having to shake my dad awake from the hotel bed to help her remove the 111 bobby pins in her hair. He kept falling back asleep on her 😂
hahahaha I made Dan promise that he wouldn't get so drunk that he would pass out before helping me out of my dress! I would have been SO MAD if he was fast asleep and I was stuck in my dress! 😂
AHA this is too funny
I love the given gender neutral terms like fiance, spouse, wedding party, newly weds, etc.
Some easy swaps are person of honor, or instead of "best man" it could be "best (insert name)". Personally, I'd love to always be referred to as the "best Lisa".
I always wonder this as I hate the term partner, it just feels really buisness-like
I had a man as a ‘bridesmaid’ so we renamed the group as ‘brides mates’
One of my cousins had her brother as a "bridesmaid," so they called that group of people "the bride's party," to make sure he was included. Of course you could also replace that with a name, like "the Lisa party," if you wanted and it would still work.
Instead of bridesmaids and groomsmen, I think of them as “the wedding party.” When my friend got married a couple years ago, she called us her “bridespeople” since we weren’t all women, which I also like.
We referred to our people as, well, our people 😅
It was Phoebe’s wedding on Friends. She was her something blue.
@@ebon8853 or when Monica and Chandler almost got married in Vegas. "Borrowing" a blue sweater from a store so that had something blue, borrowed and new
My wife and I tried to avoid as many as possible. We got married with only four friends there at a registry office in hackney in smart clothes we already owned. Went to London zoo and had a meal then went home. No engagement ring. No family. Saved a bucket load of money and went to Japan for two weeks instead. Had the best time. Spoken to dozens of people that have said they wished they had done it and not had the big white wedding. People should not bow to family pressure.
that sounds like a great idea im so happy for you 😊
But also don't shame people who want to make a big deal out of their wedding. Nothing wrong or irresponsible with that either.
@@talishaf7980 absolutely. Couldn't agree more. People are free to do whatever they want and that's a great thing.
Love that you made a trip to the zoo part of your day ☺️ just you two or guests as well?
@@Frankenzebra the six of us went.
The bouquet is usually meant to help with what to do with your hands! It helps your photographer lots
But traditionally to hide a pregnancy bump, at least in my country.
@@SamarkandChan I never knew that but it makes so much sense!
I learned in fashion-history class that the bouquet was invented for when woman had to wear corsets so tight they couldn't breath right, to concentrate on the scent of the flowers to not faint. sounds quite horrible, but i'd also have a bouquet as i like flowers and it's nice to have something in the hands... :)
@@theresaantonia2058 that does not sound accurate...
@@sophieelsa7469 well, I actually never looked it up online, but our professor told us so. it would definitely be an interesting topic to research! :)
Had to watch my dad pull the garter off my step mum with his teeth. Trauma/10.
One of my friends did that at her wedding and her youngest brother was there (almost a 10 year age gap between them) and he was so grossed out! I definitely don't want to have that. I don't want people to see my legs anyway, as a lot of the time I need to wear compression stockings due to a chronic illness. I also won't be standing at the front the whole time. Maybe my partner and I can find some fancy chairs, or just cover some old chairs in flowers.
So many of these traditions get more strange the more you think about them. The whole "giving your daughter away" traditions makes me physically cringe
It really depends i think. I walked down the isle with my dad and i was so glad not to enter this huge room with so many people alone! But to everyone teir own :)
I think it would be waaaay better if bride and groom walked together... At least you could walk the isle with BOTH parents/people of your choice not just the father.
The father giving his daughter away used to be basically the trading of property, women were property, and when they got married they would become their husbands property. But now I still don’t think do the father giving his daughter away a. Bad thing, because when a women gets married she becomes a family with her husband, so the father giving his daughter away still makes sense. I’m going to have my father give me away.
Scandinavian marriage customs have the marrying couple walk down the isle together as equals.
@Ramya N Yeah ,unfortionately, that tradition is beeing pushed out by the patriarchal posessive US custom due to US sitcoms and "romantic" movies
The giving to charities is a great replacement for a wedding registry. I have much respect for you two for doing that. While wedding registry can be useful for some, did established partners it just has always rubbed me the wrong way.
"the greatest gift of all is seeing you on the day, HOWEVER... here's our list please buy us stuff"
@@hannahwitton At the same time though, you can see where the tradition came from - young couples who'd lived separately with parents prior to marriage needing stuff for their new marital home. It's not necessarily 21st centrury relevant, but you can understand it.
For me, the one that I dislike more is "please contribute to our honeymoon".
@@hannahwitton I actually think if you are going to accept gifts from people, a registry is best. Like you don’t need 5 great aunts buying you fancy wine glasses you won’t use but rather being able to ask for stuff you might need for your house
Also, it takes pressure off people for money. You can add cheap and expensive gifts so each person can pick a gift that suits their budget and they don’t feel pressure to put a fixed amount of money in a card
@@shaunaisaJellyBean Agree completely
@@hannahwitton In my country (Dutchie here) it's customary to give the bride & groom an envelope with cash with a card/well wishes. The idea is that you help pay for their expensive wedding day which you are invited to. The amount differs if you are a guest for the entire day (inluding meals etc) or just got an invite to the party in the evening. As a day-guest you give between 50 and 75 euro, also depending on your own funds. I like the idea of the guests helping the couple out a bit and all enjoying the day together.
My female friend is getting married to a woman this weekend. They decided to deal with "groomsmen/bridesmaid" situation in this way.....skirts on one side, pants on the other. Doesn't matter what gender identity is each outfit, whichever your attire preference will then assign the side you stand. Love it
Great idea!
This sounds silly, but this made me realise how much of the whole wedding spectacle is optional. Definitely looking forward to getting married one day and only doing what we both actively choose to do 💜
Traditions are mostly fluff, but I guess without fluff there's not much of an event. They're really just convention rather than requirements, so I say to anyone do your own thing and include as many or as few traditons as you like, or even add a few of your own to make it your day. As for sex on the wedding night, it's like any good date - sex is nice if it happens but should never be the goal.
I don't want a veil, but I do want a cape. Seriously, these need to be known as an option. A veil that is basically attached at the sleeves/straps or around the collarbone part of your chest (for strapless dresses). I want a sparkly white one because C A P E.
Also I want to plant a seed at our ceremony and plant it on my parents property when its big enough :)
I would totally wear wedding cape over a veil. Honestly I'd wear a cape over a veil any day. Except maybe at the funeral of my husband that died under suspicious circumstances, that calls for a veil.
I've actually seen so many very pretty wedding capes, but they're often custom made by small businesses and therefore quite expensive. So I agree, they should become a standard option.
This is what I did! I didn't want to participate in any of the symbolism of a veil, but I wanted the DRAMA.
Yessss I will be wearing a cape! 😄 Got mine in a regular bridal shop (Netherlands) so becoming more "mainstream" I guess? :)
I wore a cape! I felt so swooshy 🤗
Here’s some pics!
ibb.co/TMhcz79
ibb.co/LZf3q12
My wife and I were going to keep the "not seeing each other until the altar" bit of tradition, but the night before our wedding the church got struck by lightning and it killed the air conditioning in most of the building (we got married in late June, in the southeast USA...) When she was fully dressed, the heat and her anxiety got the better of her so I had to rush upstairs and help her calm down. As soon as the ceremony was over and the pictures taken, she chucked the wedding dress and came to the reception in shorts and a t-shirt! ^_^
classy
That’s really adorable! Sounds like you guys had a good time. Something always goes “wrong” but you were there for her and it seems like everyone was a good sport and enjoyed it anyway :)
Thing that baffled me the most - "Dan doesn't like cake". Wut?
ikr
@@hannahwitton are you sure he can be trusted? he doesn’t like cake Hannah!! CAKE!! hahahahaha
@@babitferreira On the plus side, means Hannah doesn't have to worry about him nicking the last slice of cake!
Neither me nor my partner like cake. No we didn't have a wedding cake. Had lots of other sweets and cookies though. Whipped cream is just... too fat for me, I don't like it.
My mom likes cake but doesn't like brownies, which I always thought was weird because they're basically the same in my mind. Now I know Dan likes brownies and not cake, and I feel like some sort of balance has been restored in the universe. Lol :)
I got married last year and a few things come to mind to share:
Our speeches were by my bridesmaids, which they rehearsed and had props! The two best men did a speech each. And then my husband and I stood up and just did a bunch of thank yous. I didn't ask my Dad to do a speech as he's the tangent King and I didn't want to put my guests through that! He absolutely didn't mind.
We did do favours. Our 'wedding breakfast' was afternoon tea so we had little pots of homemade (by my Mum) jam, which also doubled as the place settings as I put name tags on the jars.
A tradition that you didn't mention, which I chose to leave, is the Dad giving away the Bride. My Dad wouldn't have done this even if I'd asked. He's pretty liberal and isn't down with the whole idea of that and neither am I. So I walked down the aisle by myself behind my bridesmaids (who had tambourines instead of flowers!)
I’ve worried about the whole ‘you have to have sex on your wedding night’ expectation a lot before - it’s so nice to hear you speak about that! There is so much pressure that it needs to amazing & tbh if I ever did get married, I reckon I’d be absolutely shattered & would just clonk out at the end of the day 😂 you & Dan are defo doing it right 🥰
we didn't either. we went home (gasp-not a hotel?) and my best friend and one of his friends came with us. she helped me out of the bobbypins and dress while the guys unloaded the car. i don't even think we made it upstairs before we both passed out on the couch from exhaustion!
We expected to be totally drunk and tired, so we did it the night before.
My partner and I heard the ‘honour and obey’ vows at his sister’s wedding (and his dad physically passed her over to her groom with this handshake thing) and we were so shocked by it that we searched out alternative traditional vows. These are what we’re going for;
You cannot possess me, for I belong to myself,
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person,
But I shall serve you in those ways you require.
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night.
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite from my bread,
And the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and dying, equally in your care.
This is my wedding vow to you.
This is a marriage of equals.
I really like that!
YES! I am a wedding photographer and I've been saying for literally a decade that wedding brownies need to be a thing! Wedding cake is usually bad. Brownies are always good! You're the first person I've seen do it :)
New tradition: get married first, then invite people to a Zoom meeting party.
Yesss omg we did a private livestream for people who couldn’t make it! Maybe zoom weddings will be a new tradition!
My 3rd sons wedding was facetimed due to Covid, and my 2nd son had a brother-in-law do the same for his older brother and his family who were stationed in Germany and couldn't fly home at the time several years ago.
I don't plan on getting married. I'm going to have a tiny home built. My plan when I get into a relationship again, is that the guy can get a house of some sort built on my property, but I'm keeping my custom made house exactly as I like. Then we both have space too, so we can be like "Who's house do we want to sleep in tonight?" And just walk across the yard. Or camp out if it's warm and do star gazing because it'll be in the middle of nowhere anyway.
Im going to build a tiny house and I’m single. I’m thinking if a guy doesn’t want to live tiny he’s not the guy for me but maybe 👆would work too. Ha
This sounds divine 🥰
So what happens to his house when you breakup?
@@JominC he can move it if he needs to. Or we can sell part of the property. Or we could sell the whole thing and I drive my house down to the next property I purchase. Or we keep the property and be neighbours.
@@aellalee4767 But to do any of this, you will have final say right?(except movig a house but that is very expensive and requires him owning a suitable property which is somewhat proximate) So at the end of the day you are giving him a financial reason to stay on your good side. That sounds a bit toxic in my opinion. My advice is, you should sell a part of your property to him and he should build a house on that or he can buy a neighbouring property and build a house on it.
Your wedding sounds so perfect to me! Love how you and Dan did your own thing and didn’t get dragged down by tradition, you’re the coolest! 💁🏻♀️💃🏻
I love the little Doodles accompanying each point! And also the video in general was very interesting and fun to watch.
I'm surprised that no one mentioned one russian tradition called "Выкуп". I have no idea how to translate it properly (google says it's Bride price but i'm not sure if it's the correct term). Basically on the wedding day the groom has to do quest-like things, prepared by the maid of honor, bride's parents, friends, and relatives, while the bride is sitting in her room and waiting for the groom to finish the tasks. Usually it happens at bride's childhood home or her parents' house. And usually for the quests there are some things like having the groom to tell some fact about the bride, or guessing something about her, or telling 10 reasons he loves her, or screaming from the top of his lungs that he loves her, or sometimes even paying money. Essentially through completing these tasks the groom proves himself worthy and he "buys" the bride from her parents. (i'm really sorry for my english)
Yeah! I once went to a wedding in Bulgary and they also did this
In Hungary there is a tradition when the bride gets kidnapped during the reception and the groom has to solve tasks and eventually buys the bride back with some objects 🤦♀️
@@teszter704 sounds like a way to liven things up 😂
This happens in Ukraine too!
@@teszter704 I feel like this should be a TV show :D
In Italy we actually do wedding favours! It can be something as small as a jar of jam, little pastries, a plant, a little flower vase, with maybe a card thanking the people for going to the wedding and the date. I think it's because we do the same with baptism, communion and confirmation, where people ususally gift "confetti" which are sugar coated almonds. I'm obviously talking in general, many children here go to church because their parents push them to do so. At weddings I personally find it really cute!
The majority of the recent wedding I’ve gone to have been non-traditional and they were so special. I am lesbian anyway so I’m not a part of (nor support) the catholic religion like some of my family still does. My bro just recently got married with a small wedding, a justice of the peace, and had it outdoors. It was beautiful especially to not be stuck in a church with archaic beliefs. They already have 2 children, 1 child from a previous marriage, and 1 child together. It was awesome to have the kids involved in the ceremony.
It nice that some of society is breaking out of old ingrained traditions. Traditional is great if that’s what you still want but it’s nice for those that don’t to be able to freely have their wedding be how they want it. 💕
My Boyfriend says if we get married he wants to cut the Cake with a Broad Sword... i love him so much
How about father walking bride down the aisle, or groom asking parents of bride for permission? Hate those 😫
In France we do the groom's mother walks him down the isle, followed by the bride and her dad. I think it's a good way to keep gender equality
In Sweden the couple walk in together. Very equal :)
Why do you hate those. When a women Mary’s a man she becomes a family with him, that’s why the father gives his daughter away, sure it used to be for property reasons, but now it’s seen as the father accepting that she’s not his little girl anymore. And the boyfriend asking permission should happen, because the parents should be on board.
@@lydianowinsky7746 There is no reason for the parents to be on board in a modern society. And why should the girl's parents be any more on board than the boy's?
@@lydianowinsky7746 I really want my dad walk me down the aisle but I also know why it's problematic. But tbh most traditions are problematic if you look at where they're coming from. I just want to share that moment with my father because I really love him and that's it.
I suppose that back in the day when extramarital sex was a complete taboo and it was actually the norm to 'wait until marriage', there would have been quite a bit of eagerness from most (not all, but most) newlyweds to immediately have sex at the first opportunity, but really it's the same as any other part of a wedding; it's your day, so do what you like the most.
I submitted the marrying a man suggestion! I hope you remember. It is such a simple one that I thought it would be unnoticed so I suggested it. This has made me happy to be included in your video :D I hope you're having a great day
I've always thought my friend did her bridesmaids dresses quite nicely. We had to pay for them, but rather than choose a specific dress that all of us had to wear, she told each of us to get whatever style of dress we liked. The only requirements were that it be from a specific wedding designer (she chose an affordable one with a HUGE selection), in a specific color, and a specific accent color of the style we chose had an accent. Then our shoes just needed to be silver, and several of us ended up getting the same strappy heels from Payless.
Her reasoning behind doing it that way was that 1) she chose us because she loved each of us for who we individually were, 2) she wanted our bridesmaid dresses to reflect that individuality, and 3) she knew that each of us had VERY different body types and wanted each of us to wear something we would feel beautiful in. As a result, all of us still looked uniform because of the matching designer and color while still looking fabulous since each of our dresses flattered our body types.
I seriously think every bride who goes the bridesmaid route should handle the dresses that way. It was an incredibly positive experience.
You’re the only UA-camr I’ve stuck along with since the last 4 years! Love your channel, Hannah x
My husband and I got married in September in the US. we had originally planned a more traditional big wedding at a hall, but even though there weren’t too many restrictions by the time we had our wedding, we just didn’t feel safe having 200 people in a room together for a big party. We had a mostly traditional wedding party, but I did have one bridesman, so we called my whole group bridesfolx. The girls did all have matching dresses, and I wore a white dress, which also contributed to the something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. I wore my grandmas wedding dress from 1950, the only alteration being removing the sleeves. I bought some new jewelry to wear, and got my nails painted blue. The borrowed was my mom’s garter from my parents wedding, and my sister is planning on wearing it for her wedding next year too, so we started a new tradition. I did have wedding flowers, I made all the arrangements from red wooden roses. I made my husband’s boutineer out of ribbon rosettes from his mom’s wedding veil. We did a first dance and a father daughter dance. We got married at a drive in movie theater, so my dad drove me in to walk me down the isle in his 1956 Buick. We did say “I do” and exchanged rings. We threw out some traditions, kept others, and started some new ones. Overall it was the perfect day.
Bookmarking this vid to help my fiancée and I plan our wedding (which we'll be doing after COVID, no matter how long it takes)
My boyfriend and I are getting married in 2 years and I am excited to discuss with him which traditions we will keep for our wedding. Not only do we come from different cultures but also I couldn't care less for most traditions in general and he finds many of them to be romantic.
We more or less did the same ones as you! I adore my husband, but we mainly got married because I needed a visa to stay in the country. My parents couldn't come, we only had a few months notice, and I honestly just don't like being the centre of attention, so it was a quick courthouse ceremony followed by dinner with his prents and our witnesses, then straight to the airport for a week in Paris. It was so much fun though, and still one of my favourite days.
Which country are you from?
My partner and I always wanted a very small wedding, and COVID made it all socially acceptable! Literally 7 people including us, the photographer, and the celebrant. No parents (flying in your at-risk folks during COVID? LOL) me, partner, celebrant, photographer, her assistant, and two witnesses.
I did not wear a dress, but my partner wore a white one. No veils, garters, cake, dance, "giving away" of either of us, wedding invites (though we'll send announcement postcards with our wedding pictures on them after), speeches, We DID do engagement rings, which then doubled as wedding rings on the big day, partner had a bouquet, and we all had a sit down meal at a nice restaurant after. We DID do a wedding registry, but only put things we actually needed (like kitchen stuff), and it was mostly for the Boomers in our family, who would have been weirded out that we didn't do one anyway.
The only thing we would change is our parents not being there. We don't have a lot of money, so a super-low-budget wedding was EXACTLY what we wanted!
With the something old etc rhyme I was always taught that the rhyme ends with ‘and a silver sixpence in her shoe’ as my grandma gave one to me and my cousin when we were young for our respective wedding days
The Friends reference - the one where they're in Vegas and Chandler and Monica almost get married :-)
Or Phoebe freezing saying she will be her something blue ;)
My fiance and I are skipping all of the "traditions" that aren't fun for us. No "grand entrance" to the reception, no bouquet toss it garter toss, no traditional vows, we are staying together the night before and getting ready together, my fiance (a cis guy) is having an entirely female party, that we are calling groomswomen. We aren't giving favors, our cake is going to be colorful and nerdy and delicious, and we are both wearing converse. Oh, and our bridal party is walking down the aisle to the jurrasic park theme. Fuck traditions.
brilliant 👏
I love this 💛
Love it 👏
We too are skipping traditions... Elopement! 🤗
YES TO BASICALLY ALL OF THIS!!! I'm getting married next year and wow I agree so so so much. So many things make me uncomfortable like making a speech and doing the first dance. I'm only keeping a few of the traditions.
Well, I clearly did not pay attention to YT for a while, so may I add, bleatedly, my best wishes for your health and happiness for many many years to come!
The something blue in friends is when Phoebe gets married in the freezing cold and says "I will be my something blue"
And Monica and chandler's almost wedding in Vegas where she stuffs the New and Blue sweater up her dress, saying they were borrowing it so it was a 3 in 1
Wedding favours are a HUUUUGE thing in Italy! Favours in general, you prepare them for all sort of events/ceremonies, often linked to christian/religious 'moment in life'
My parents got married back in the early nineties and my mum was that radical feminist who refused to say "to honour and to obey" (she actually has an argument with her parents over it!) I'm glad that now it is much less common in the vows 😂
Love this vid! Getting married in a less traditional ceremony in a few months and always enjoy hearing about how people tailor their weddings to themselves as a couple
I know "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" from the Little House on the prairie books
from "AnnE with an E"
I've seen it in a lot of places, but the one that always comes to mind first is the final episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch when she ends up wearing the bracelet Harvey gave her to her wedding to Aaron.
I remember it vividly from How I Met Your Mother
Seen it in lots of things but somehow just known it was a thing since I can remember 🤷♀️
I'm thinking of Doctor Who ^_^
I married my husband in March before the COVID restrictions begun in Melbourne. We ended up getting married on a Wednesday afternoon in my in-laws backyard. It was just our families & I ordered from our favourite pizza joint for food afterwards. It wasn’t what I had planned but it was perfect 🧡
Oh my god me too! We got married on the 5th of march and as soon as my parents flew home lockdown was declared
I've heard of all of these. And I say do whatever you want to do if it's what YOU want to do. I've had more than one conversation in the past telling the bride to do what they want, not what others tell them they should do. I feel like too many "traditions" are continued due to peer pressure and not because it's what the couple actually wants to do. My advice is usually "Tell them to f*** off, this your day, not theirs."
In Germany we have the tradition of "kidnapping the bride" (Brautentführung)
She will go with some friends and they drink alcohol until the groom and the other wedding guests find her.. I'm usually not a fan of tradition but I love this one :)
Ist mir neu. Klingt lustig. ^^
Das klingt nach meiner Art Tradition! Hab aber auch noch nie davon gehört
One thing I liked when I got married is in order to obtain a wedding license we had to swear that neither of us were being bought or sold. A bit alarming when I was told but in retrospect I am glad it's a thing
They should ask you that in a separate room if they are really concerned about the trafficking element. Make sure there’s no coercion by asking separately and in private.
I don't really know much about weddings since I've only ever been to one like 15 years ago, but your wedding vlogs have me intrigued about them haha
I want to do this now too! Such a fun idea!
I got married two years ago and had a pretty non-traditional wedding.
The one thing we hella splurged on was the invitations. I live far away from all my family and close friend, so neither my mom nor my bridesmaids could dress shop with me. My mom cared the most about the invitations, so when she visited me, we went all out at a local paper shop.
I keep all the invitations of everything I am invited to. Better than a souvenir or gift or party favor imo because it’s personal :) plus cards don’t take up that much space comparatively
I like the "something old something new something borrowed and something blue" thing but I like the idea of it all being the same object like they used the tardis in doctor who
Favors -- usually something VERY small. We got plantable paper flowers (like handmade paper, thick, with flower seeds throughout it, cut out in flower shapes) they were tossed loosely over the dinner tables to be cute, and them people could take them home and plant them!
Flowers -- I used loose flowers from a supplier, not a shop. Got a bunch of tall skinny vases and put 2-3 stems of lilac blossoms in each, surrounded by a few small candles. Centerpieces! If you're going to toss the bouquet, it's common to purchase a second bouquet for this purpose. Your bouquet is more expensive, fancy, you may want to save it. A second tiny bouquet, similar to a bridesmaid bouquet perhaps, is purchased to be thrown/damaged/lost forever.
In he US it is NOT COMMON for the bride/groom to pay for the wedding party's outfits. They pay for their own stuff. You just pick it. I did help pay for one of my bridesmaids cuz otherwise she couldn't have participated.
I wish people use their brains to plan their weddings like you. Tradition is fun and everything but not all of them are nice and some of them are don't even have any base. As people are getting more educated and also in this pandemic situation you guys did a really perfect job.
My parents broke a lot of traditions lol. My mother made outfits for the entire wedding party (her and my dad as well). Her and her sister were in purple (and gold) and my father and his siblings were in blue (and grey) (no formal bridal party i think).Their parents were in whatever. My father actually borrowed a spare pair of boots from a friend. Everyone was dressed in medieval clothes. They have since worn their outfits a few times as costumes (They weren't historically correct so not a lot of uses unfortunately). They did a handfasting ceremony because my mother is pagan but no rings (my mother already has multiple per finger!). My mother bought a lotr one ring years later for my father for like a $1 on ebay as she had black titanium one as a sort of wedding ring but my father doesn't wear it, my mother wears hers on her middle finger and I actually wear a matching ring sometimes as my ace ring. They had a picnic in a park with the food being bring a plate to share (my mother's grandma refused to attend because of that. too untraditional. idk if she just didn't know about the medieval clothes or...). they arrived by horse and carriage and walked in with someone carrying their heraldic banners from the re-enactment group they are part of. for the honeymoon they went to Tasmania (We're from melbourne) and stayed with family down there. Entire wedding+honeymoon cost less than my aunts wedding dress.
My friend wanted to keep her bouquet so I told her to throw one of the bouquets from the table arrangement cuz it is her wedding and that bouquet will mean more to her than anyone else.
I simply adore you...and I’m 63 years old!
My wonderful wife and I have been married for 33 years...I was fortunate to find the right person
We lived together for five years first, married in a court of law with my mom, brother, and grandmother there. It was perfect:D
I thought you would mention the walking down the aisle/given away moment. Definitely one I would leave. I also recently found out that cutting the cake is meant to symbolise "breaking" the hyman and then the crumbs are about fertility! Definitely put me right off
At my sister's wedding she threw one of the bridesmaids' flowers. That way if they got smooshed or the person kept them it didn't matter. It was her wedding planners idea and I think it's pretty smart, personally.
I remember being a bridesmaid at at wedding when I was about 10. I though it was really weird how it was put together and felt like it wasn’t genuine and felt more like a TV set with rehearsals and specific lines and placements.
I then was set on never getting married because I didn’t see the point and felt it was just old traditions that had no importance to me personally. Now I am with my partner and we’ve talked about marriage. I would happily marry him because I now see it as another part or step of our relationship. I don’t think you have to do things or do things in a specific order for a relationship to be valid, but I think for us it just makes sense and works for us, which is a very different mindset than what I used to have.
I’m also not someone that likes all eyes on me, even for birthdays, I avoid telling people till the last minute because I don’t want attention or anything. I would not want the big traditional wedding and I would have one in a church as I’m not religious and neither is my partner. I’m also lucky that my mum is very much in the camp of she would have got married in jeans if her mum let her, so she doesn’t care for tradition either.
I also much prefer calling him my husband and we joke about already being married anyway. We don’t care for the terms boyfriend or girlfriend and partner often feels clunky or formal in some situations. But I would definitely be specific about what I wanted and what traditions I was not interested in. Personally there’s nothing I would have to have, but there are some things I would like, some things I’m not bothered about and some things I definitely wouldn’t want.
OMG of the 26 things you talk about 22 of them happened on my wedding day 😳 didn’t realise I was that traditional.
Loved watching this! I’ve just recently got engaged so all of your wedding content makes me so happy!
Amazing! I just got married last weekend and have my own channel too and would love to create my own take on this (credit to you of course!). Love your work Hannah, you're always so articulate and a huge inspiration to me xx
In the States it's pretty normal for the bridesmaids/groomsmen to have to buy their own clothes, to the specification of the couple getting married. I think that's probably why you sometimes see wedding photos (usually of very young people) with like eight people lined up behind each of them. I bought my dress for the only wedding I've been in, but the bride basically said, "this color please, but otherwise get whatever you like and think you'd wear again" which is pretty reasonable.
This was so interesting. I don't plan on marrying anytime soon but one of the things that always puts me and my partner off is the sheer thought of the cost. So interesting to hear what you guys did x
What about having your dad walk you down the aisle? I was very against it because it's such a patriarchy thing... but I ended up doing it because my dad was so excited about it. I am so glad I did it, it's one of the nicest memories (and pictures!) I have.
That is so cute that you did that for your dad :) Life is short and goes so quickly, and one day it will be one of your most special memories too.
I see this tradition in a sweet way, I really want both my parents to walk me down the aisle, not just my dad
I actually don’t think I have ever been to a wedding that didn’t provide a gift... either seeds for flowers, a key with the couples engraved on it, or my favourite a bottle opener! I never realized people didn’t do it, I thought it was “mandatory”
I've been a bridesmaid over 5 times and I've always purchased my own dress. Its never been mentioned that the bride and groom would pay for the outfits of the wedding party.
The Friends reference that I remember is when Phoebe gets married out on the street in the snow and she goes to take her coat off before she walks down the aisle. Ross is like, "Won't you be cold?" and she says, "I don't care. I'll be my something blue!"
Also when Monica and Chandler want to get married in Las Vegas, Monica "borrows" a blue sweater from the gift shop, making it something new as well and Chandler says that he has a ten years old condom in his wallet for the something old part.
Does anyone knows where this comes from ? It's seems kind of random to me but I would love to know more !
Finding a "soul mate" and getting married to said "soul mate", has been #1 on my bucket list since the age of 15, but it never came to fruition. Now being in my 40's, finding someone to marry now, is highly unlikely. I never wanted to be a lifetime bachelor, I just never had the opportunity to find someone to marry.
You still have time. My dad didn’t get married till his late 30’s. Plus if you want children men’s biological clocks aren’t like women’s. He had a kid at 46. My father is in his late 70’s with a child In his 20’s. Maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet? Unless you are loving the bachelor life which is fine too. It is hard with Covid to socialize right now.
@@PinkRose0910 I'd like to get married, but I don't want kids, not at my age anyways. I have a lot of nieces and nephews, and I don't mind being an uncle to them.
We didn't have full gifts for our guests, we just got them small little boxes of chocolates at each place setting at the reception
We wanted a simple wedding where we would do the bare minimum in terms of formalities and then for a party we'd have a meal with close friends and family instead of a whole complicated dinner and dance. The meal would have to be good, because we enjoy that and we wanted to have a special beer brewn for the occasion since we have a lot of brewer friends and enjoy having a drink. I wanted a dress that I could wear afterwards as a normal dress and we did not want rings. The plan was also to start trying for a baby sometime soon because I believed that we'd have a hard time conceiving (because of previous medical things) and thought it would easily take us half a year to two years, maybe longer so it'd be best to get a head start.
Then I got pregnant at our first attempt and we didn't even bother to plan the whole wedding. We did the official part for free in a very basic setting and had apple pie at a local café afterwards with our official witnesses. That was it. We did get a caligraphed marriage certificate to surprise our friends and family with. Oh and the special beer brewn for the occasion turned into a special brew to celebrate the birth of our baby. We did a special brew for the second one as well and got coasters printed instead of birth cards to hand out. I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't even realise we got married.
Ok here’s something very wrong... section 12 of the matrimonial causes act 1973 states that a wedding can be annulled if it is not consummated. So this one is actually more then a tradition it’s a legal requirement to seal the deal. They don’t mention that one in the ceremony do they 🤷🏻♂️(p.s. we were knackered as well and sex was last thing on our minds)
this is true! but it doesn't apply to same sex marriages!! the law is so fucked and weird.
@@hannahwitton completely agree, old rule for a different time and just shows how laws have not yet caught up with equality and inclusion.
I don't think that law is in any way enforced. I mean, I very highly doubt that some government worker comes to knock on your door a week or so after your wedding to ask you if you fucked yet. Even if that did happen, and you didn't consumate it, you coudl always lie because I don't think they would have a way to check.
I agree that its a stupid law and it shouldn't exist, but no one follows it and no one enforces it, so in the end it doesn't really matter.
@@robertmenzies3032 probably stems from iron age practices where the consummation was even required to be in front of witnesses!
@@SonsOfLorgar I dread to think.......
"then we had to un-invite a load of people" 😂
Support for Hannah’s moving into in together registry 👍
You’re a QUEEN 💙 I love how you’re unashamedly yourself 😊
I love the way you think! You inspired my wedding! Thank you for allowing me to check myself before I wreck myself
A few years ago, I've been to an old classmate's wedding. He is very religious, and it was the most uncomfortable wedding I've ever seen. Everyone had to keep singing psalms (if that's what you call them in English), we as outsiders were constantly frowned upon, and all the bride and groom could talk about when you asked them about their day was that they were happy that they could make god the centre of their day and worship him. Nothing about their own relationship or happiness was ever discussed.
I definitely know what I don't want for our wedding day next year now though :D
My husband's family are Mormons, his sisters and their husbands were all virgins when they got married, and they said, they didn't have sex on their wedding night either, they were too tired, too nervous and they let it develop slowly on their honeymoon. They didn't feel any pressure.
I know a couple who refered to the bridesmaides/groomsmen situation as "best people" (you know, from best man), to make it gender neutral and I kinda like that!
The fluffy Disney top is everything. Also so excited for this video, forgot we all filled out the poll. xD
I've been granted exceptional circumstances for my wedding so we have a lockdown wedding on the 20th of February. We can't even have a picnic in the park outside afterwards so I've organised some individualised tea boxes for our 4 guests.
No bridesmaids, no groomsmen, no bouquet, no meal, no first dance. I'm not wearing white though I do have white accent items and a veil (got it off Amazon).
Can't speak to the threshold bit (might be a bit scary my flats right next to the stairs) or the sex on the wedding night bit yet but we might be too full from all the cake and sandwiches
Oooo I’m so glad this video is finally made :D! I did expect it to be on the more Hannah channel tho :P!
eeeeh yeah I couldn't decide but it's about relationships so put it here!
@@hannahwitton omg you should do a review of this !! au.perifit.co/products/kegel-exerciser-with-app?Acquisition_CA%2FAU%2FNZ&WC_Health%2FWellness%2FYoga%2FPilates%2FSelfcare&S39%29_Video_CandiceJane+%2F%2F+Product+Page+-+Copie+2&fbclid=IwAR3xRbxi0M45v2A4Q1sgo5eRa3cxHEOjK2Qw4RpLhLeLlQ1ycLXbAvnPECA
It’s supposed to be amazing 😍
The only time I see wedding guests getting gifts is usually the mother of bride/groom and maid of honour get flowers for helping
At my brother's wedding they had a nice tradition called a dollar dance, where guests queue to have a quick dance with the bride or groom, they pay a dollar which goes in a hat and they get to spend a minute chatting to the bride or groom. Gets the couple a bit of money and means they can spend a minute talking to each guest :) Also I like the Greek tradition of pinning money onto the bride and groom - at my friend's wedding they ended up with thousands because people were pinning £50 notes to them!
I find you're idea of "we're not getting married, but we're moving together, can you help with paying furniture ?" SO COOL.
That's what house warming was for actually.
The garter toss may be more popular in certain areas. In my family (in various parts of the US), a lot of people do the garter toss
The traditional event to hold to celebrate moving in together and furnishing a home together is a house-warming party. Usually held in the home itself, regardless of how far along you've come in furnishing it - in fact, before you've filled it with furniture is a good time because there's more floor space! People get to be nosy about your place, everyone is celebrating and the gifts are normally home-goods (or money to help pay for them). Sometimes it's useful to mine traditions and adapt them for right now.
Re: alcohol, we're still debating it ourselves... We're in Ireland so it's pretty expected to have an open bar, but neither of us drink, and we hate being around drunk people, and know a few relatives who get pretty ... troublesome, shall we say, when drunk. But still, the thought of a dry Irish Wedding is apparently insane xD
Exactly the same when it comes to Polish weddings. Not having free alcohol for the guests at a Polish wedding (or a wedding where there would be quite a few Polish guests) is considered an insult ot the guests. My mom's brother got married last year and I think they spent around 1-3 thousand on just vodka alone, not to mention all the other beverages like champage, juices, cocktails, and soft drinks.
@@AwesomeSpyro yeah, no way! We'll prob just leave guests buy their own so hopefully things won't get too crazy then xD
My friends got married in a tent in the bride's garden, and they had an open bar, but there was only so much there, so it wasn't like being at a hotel or whatever where they'd keep supplying it endlessly. There was a drink with dinner, a drink for toasts and then a drink or two after, per person, but not enough for everyone to get outrageously drunk. Obv that depends on your venue but I liked that as an option.
We had one! You're not the only insane one. :D
@@hiccup548 that sounds good, too! :)
I wish these traditional things were optional in indian weddings! I am getting married in 6 months and I have always wanted a simple intimate wedding with just just our parents and siblings. On the contrary everyone else (my parents) wants a big wedding. Anyway, I am just blessed to have a big family on both the sides now and seeing them happy is everything.😇
F*cking love this video, Hannah! Your wedding dress is still the best I’ve ever seen! The most befitting!
Having a bouquet so you don't have to think about your hands is so relatable! Must remember this if my partner convinces me getting married is worth doing
Traditions can be fun, but only if they feel right for you. I definitely don't want a white wedding dress. My partner and I talked about what we would like (we're not even engaged yet haha) and we both have a lot of friends so I think the focus will be on throwing a massive party and having lots of speeches and songs(I'm a singer and I know lots of my friends will want to play something)
omg a first dance to think about things with the dance from the music video would be absolutely fantastic 😂😂
Just wondered if you took Dan's surname/ if he took yours or if you hyphenated. I know your channel is very much based on your name as Hannah witton so would completely understand if you didn't change it. Just wondered is all, loved the video - makes me want to have a more chilled out wedding X
Good question!
A friend got married in 2020. He is German, she is French.
The first marriage we were invited to in an internet wedding.
The celebration was in France, but few were able to travel because otherwise a caranteine was necessary.
A week later they couldn't have married because of the restrictions.
The borders were closed, but they were back in Germany.
I think the obey part of "honor and obey" has mostly been out of weddings for a long time. The vows usually just have "honor" in now for both the bride and groom (at a hetero wedding)