@@BeautifulBrainiacWe too have had issues with this "service." Please look at independent reviews of this company and the issues people have had with it. As much as I like Caroline's and Abbey's content, they likely have a MUCH different experience than the average Jane will have and likely didn't get signed up in perpetuity with no one to contact to cancel.
Abbey! I’ve loved your channel for a while and I love this video too. I’m really this video helped people. I also really enjoy your proposed language of “coping capacity” as opposed to “willpower” - I see what you mean about how language matters. And yes, you correctly understood the spirit of what I said! By working with my willpower I mean working with my natural energy - I find this to be helpful when you’re trying to make any major life change (whether working on difficult relationships with family, trying to start a new exercise habit, starting a UA-cam channel, or trying to recover from an eating disorder - all of these will go “worse” when my energy is low). It helps me to be honest with myself about when in the day my energy is highest. Thank you for weighing in here, I truly love your content (and my mom does too! Also a dietician) Keep it up ❤
omg Caroline. I love you both! I love all your content on design. Really helped me when reclaiming my space after a breakup. Also your video has been meaningful in my recovery. I got what you meant
@@AbbeysKitchen For me it's the opposite I eat way too much and I must cut back! In the past I used food as an cooing mechanism! Now I've went from 5'6 at 252 pounds to 209! My goal weight is 180 and I'm good!
Hi Abbey, just to say it once (though I am usually more of a silent observer :D): It is SO important what you do, educating people on healthy eating behaviours with scientific evidence, opening conversations on how to manage anxiety and EDs, and sharing your journey. I am sure there are many "silent observers" like me, who've been watching your content and learned/ grown from it. great work from you and your team
This is what I've been dealing with lately. I never knew I was prone to binging and I was constantly thinking about food. I'm so glad I'm out of that cycle ❤ I feel so much better.
Thanks for this! Such good timing for this video. I'm going into residential treatment for my ED in the next couple weeks and obsessing over food has been such a challenge for me. I've been having so much anxiety over having to eat more without purging, but I want so badly to get to a place of not obsessing over food and actually giving my body the energy it needs so I can get stronger. Thanks for everything you do 🩷
The only way I found was to eat what I craved, when I was hungry EVERYTIME. Yes I gained weight at first, but then my weight stabilized and now after 30 years of ED, I no longer obsess about what I eat.
My therapist just worked with me on things to do to take my mind off obsessions or for when I'm anxious. She called it the "Oh sh*t kit," lmao and I love it!
@@saskiadeciu Sure, we based it off a handout called "Distress Tolerance Handout 8" not sure if that will be searchable, but it basically outlines examples of things you can do to self soothe in all different senses. Not all of mine were from the list, but it's a good start. I have essential oils in my kit that I use for smell, a Spotify Playlist for sound, a stress ball and ice pack (heat or cold are great for snapping out of anxiety attacks) for touch, and a couple pieces of chocolate for if I want to indulge instead. Hope that helps!
@@saskiadeciu Sure! My therapist used the Distress Tolerance Handout 8 for reference and we just compiled a couple things for different senses that can help self soothe for anxiety or obsessions. For me, I have essential oils for "smell" that I keep on my desk. I have fidget toys for touch, plus a cold pack because extreme temperatures on either side can help stop a panic attack. I also have a Sporify Playlist I use for "hearing" and a couple pieces of peanut brittle for taste, if I'd rather do that.
That was really good and helpful! I lost 50 pounds two years ago on basically a starvation diet. I didn’t realize it then, but now I do. My hair fell out, my nails no longer grew, but I was thin…. I’m 64, so it’s harder anyway, but after listening to you Abbey and a couple more people like you, I have now gained 20 pounds. Lol. Not really funny, but I’m learning and I’m eating more and my hair is good again and my nails are finally growing long and strong Ike they used to be. Now my goal is to build some muscle strength without going crazy about it and learn to eat more intuitively and hopefully it will all work out and I’ll at least be strong and fit. :)
you have helped me understand why I could never lose weight ... I was always restricting and making unrealistic goals... I found you over a year ago and have been blessed by your content. I have found a way of life that works for me and am now finally gaining muscle and losing fat the healthy way. I am also teaching my children how to have a wonderful relationship with food. That you for your love and honesty
Do you have any tips for someone struggling to lose weight? I can’t get away from the restricting and binge eating cycle. I’m always setting unrealistic goals
Caroline’s content is super friendly to my ADHD brain. Not sure what it is but her take is open, understandable and fun enough to relate and be usable which is really difficult to find as an neurospicy woman.
I follow Caroline and absolutely adore her. And I follow you, Abbey, and I not only like, but need you because I am a dietitian myself and have been out of work (intentionally). I keep up with the latest trends and science and you are a wonderful resource. Thank you!
Thank you SO MUCH for talking about the topic of "having a goal body" and the pressure that RDs & CNSs might feel to uphold a certain look. I'm finishing up a graduate program for nutrition and have struggled most of my life with an ED and this is a topic that I still struggle with regularly. It meant a lot to hear your perspective on it. Thank you for your take on this sensitive topic! You handled it beautifully.
Thank you for the content! I really appreciate not demonizing people that do have body goals, as long as they are realistic and healthy. I compete in MMA/Boxing which has limited weight classes. I don’t like to make weight in an unhealthy way with crash dieting and extreme dehydration 12 hours before weigh in, so I am working on healing from ED while still pursuing the sport that I love with a long term, balanced approach to nutrition. Thinking of my meals in terms of Hunger Crushing Combos is very helpful!
I think Caroline meant that it was easier for her to have a big breakfast without thinking much about food. In the evening she was so full of anxiety, that she could only muster so much eating without obsessing
Thank you so much Abbey. I have been really wanting to increase veggies and fiber in my diet. I'm trying to eat in a way that feels best for my body. It's extremely difficult to trust that my body knows best when I'm hungry all the time, and I know that including the hunger crushing combo in my meals will help with that. Your channel has helped me so much to open up to include carbs, fat, and starches in my meals to help me be satiated longer. I'm still not all the way there, but your channel has helped me come a long way. This video in particular is helpful because the food noise is always there. I completely understand the anticipation of what she calls "willpower" which is really just "mental energy." I usually do good with eating in the mornings but afternoons/evenings are really difficult for me. So I will now work on anticipating that lack of mental energy to deal with food in the afternoons and will brainstorm ways to make it easier for me in the evenings. When I eat afternoon snacks, I usually feel a lot better in the evening to prepare meals, so maybe it's just a matter of prepping afternoon snacks in advance and thinking of easier, quicker snacks.
I know not everyone will agree but I like the term willpower. It actually feels empowering that I do in fact have some control and it’s not just completely out of my hands. If someone told me I have zero control over my actions around food, that would feel much scarier.
I was really proud of myself. I have been craving cookies and I finally gave in and let myself get a package of them last night at the grocery store …. And I am happy to report I ate just one
I love Caroline. And I loved the coping capacity definition! I could relate so badly, not just with my eating, but with my other behavior issues as well.
8:49 I actually relate to this a lot!! It's much easier for me to be healthy earlier in the day than in the evening. SO I set aside my snacking and bigger meals for later in the day.
I did not realize how severe my food obsession was until moments when I've been on prescription appetite suppressants and was SHOCKED to not be thinking of food around the clock.
I mean, I was thinking about food, and I still am, because I am prepping ingredients to make my favorite chicken gnocchi soup. So exciting, I have been wanting it for days and I finally went to pick up the ingredients from the store.
@@AbbeysKitchenand I am using one of your tips, and I got some veggies and hummus, with a bit of bread/pita chips, to snack on while I cook so I don’t binge on my favorite soup as soon as it is done. It has really helped me to start thinking of an adding mindset as opposed to a restricting one.
Personally I would like to listen more a dietician with a “non goal body” because they KNOW how difficult it is to fight with your own body and weight.
Abbey can speak on Ilana Muhlsteins approach to weight loss and techniques to healthy eating? Do you find it a bit triggering or restrictive for people with ED or binge eating or overeating/emotional eating...?
I'm literally so sick of the "food noise" and the constant thinking about it, it's driving me insane at this point. I've had an ed for 4 years now and I know what i need to do to recover but I just can't bring myself to take the first step. Does anyone have any advice?
I am always thinking about what I'm going to be eating. Currently wanting the new double crunch coffee crisp ice cream bars!!! It is so crazy good!! Also prepping fresh dill to make ranch tomorrow!
When she is talking about her "will power battery", this is exactly how i would describe battling symtpoms of ADHD and emotional dysregulation throughout the day. It definitely isnt *tehnically* a lack of will power, but it *feels* like it...especially considering the stigma neurodivergent people, (especially women in our age group), grew up feeling and then ended up internalizing as having a 'lack of something.' Idk about Caroline, but to me she is describing emotional dysregulation, which definitely lends itself to obsessive behaviors and negative thinking toward regular, every day things like eating.
Abbey, I have a question: do more people have ED’s these days or are ED’s being diagnosed/discussed more openly? It seems like every other person has or had an ED at sometime in their life anymore and I’m so confused. Have I just been in a bubble this whole time?
Holy shit!!! WTF is wrong with the world when you have been told you don't have a "goal body" wtf is a goal body?!!!!! You look gorgeous!!! And fit far out. The world is broken
PLEASE if you are a person with a menstrual cycle start cycle syncing if you struggle with food. It has been a LIFESAVER for me. Knowing that I’m super hungry because I’m in my luteal phase and that I need more calories but that I will be less hungry in my follicular phase is HUGELY beneficial information. For most women, this is how things balance out. Cycle tracking has allowed me to trust my body, understand my satiety more, and get rid of the guilt around food.
Caroline’s video helped me a lot. Personally, I actually like the word willpower a lot, it also plays a huge role in decisions in general and it makes sense to plan our days around our limited willpower. And there’s really no shame in admitting that our willpower is limited because that’s just how it is. I was also so happy to hear her say it’s okay to have a preference on how you look. If I still felt like I couldn’t have a preference if I want to recover, I wouldn’t have ever made the decision to recover. I’m trying to have realistic goals and I’m trying to trust my body, but not caring about how it looks is just so unrealistic. Almost all of us care to a degree.
By the time i get home in the evening, my coping capacity is WRECKED. I've been masking all day, I've worked my butt off at work and although I've pre-prepped a healthy breakfast and lunch, I fall flat at night. I have to cook dinner and being in the kitchen is like all being in a rock concert and food is the lead singer. I cannot think of anything else but eating stuff I don't need because I know I'm going to eat dinner in life 30 minutes. It derails all my hard work trying to shed 130lbs.😢
RE the "willpower" discussion, this seems like a good place to introduce the addiction recovery acronym HALT/SALT. When an addict is feeling like they want to use/abuse substances or alcohol they are advised to check in: are they Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? (those of us with food issues may substitute "Sad" because we may not know when we are hungry for food, and Anxious may be useful for some, vs. Angry). Understanding how the normal emotional flow of a day affects our ways of eating can be really useful, and "willpower" (with its implied strength/weakness paradigm) doesn't enter into it.
I watched this while having a nice big high-protein smoothie for breakfast! (Frozen spinach, frozen blueberries, plain Greek yogurt, natural peanut butter, and vegan chocolate protein powder, if anyone's wondering.) I love the idea of coping capacity - really makes sense to me how this can decline over the course of a day where so many things can wear you down. While I think Caroline probably meant the exact same thing, for some of us the term "willpower" is so poisoned by the diet industry by now that I sort of mentally lean away when I hear it. Anyway, I think she had great ideas and your commentary on it was also spot-on!
Omg I needed this video. I am literally addicted to Ben and Jerry’s Netflix and chilld. I eat a pint every single day for the past 2 years. I should also mention I’m an addict (illicit substances)who’s been in recovery for over 4 years now. I am very aware of the transfer of addictions but it’s crazy that I’m now addicted to this stupid, very fattening ice cream smh. I need to get my ish together so I don’t end up with diabetes.
When you think about it, ice cream is WAY better than illicit substances! Now is it good that it's replaced with ice cream in the context of long term health? It would really depend on other factors (and I'm assuming you eat a balanced diet overall alongside the ice cream for my suggestion). But, it might be possible for you to have LESS ice cream instead of cutting it out? Like instead of a pint per day, try half a pint per day or whatever amount that's less than a pint that works for you. I feel like lighter ice cream substitutes (Halo and other brands) would not be a viable long term solution, however it is probably worth a try to see if it works for you!
A lot of people with BED don't restrict, we just binge. In fact restriction isn't a diagnosis criteria for BED. I feel like for us there is no cure, no recovery, just management and very strict access to food needs to be part of it. I am happy for the woman in this video though and anyone who has managed to find peace!
I have to split my breakfast in half. I have some yogurt first thing, then it follows an hour later with oatmeal and fruit. I can’t eat a whole breakfast as soon as I wake so I make sure to have carbs when I’m fully awake.
I can be good all day than sabotage myself the evenings.. I can relate to what she’s saying about lower willpower in the evenings. I find it easier to say no at the store than in my kitchen. I just can’t buy stuff I know I will binge on.
Okay but like…Abbey does have a goal body?? She looks amazing. I’ve literally had the thought opposite of the comment she mentioned where I thought “wow, it’s so nice she could fully recover and still look great, I feel like if I did, I would just look meh” 😂
As someone trying to lose weight I have found being obsessed with food was a huge problem. I was given guidelines by a nutritionist and the counting of calories took the enjoyment of food and left me depressed and angry. I am back to trying the calorie counting again as I have gained back quite a bit of the weight I did lose. Do I have to count calories for the rest of my life?
The rewiring statement makes me wonder if psychedelic treatment could help in a similar way to how it helps with depression or addiction by creating new neural pathways. And yes - I think Coping Capacity is a more accurate term.
What’s annoying is having ice cream at night and then feeling immediately guilty about it afterwards. I had Ben & Jerry’s last night and finally thought I don’t give a crap. I don’t do this daily but I want some tonight.
I just don’t know how to stop. I’ve tried so freaking hard to try to stop but idk why I just can’t. Although I have gotten better thank god, I used to fast and when I broke my fast I used to eat only 350-450 calories per day for a month and then I bumped up to 700-850 calories per day for a few months. I’m trying to eat 1000-1200 calories per day *my TDEE is 1200 cal per day and my BMR is 1002* so obviously I’ve damaged my metabolism so I’m scared of gaining weight. I used to do INTENSE exercise each day with my rlly low calorie diet but now I only burn 120-150 cal per day. But it’s so exhausting mentally and physically being not able to stop thinking abt the calories or weight gain, I literally can’t eat ANYTHING without knowing the calories and if I don’t know it I would not even eat it…. The worst part is that I’m only 12 almost 13 in July….😢 * edit * please give me some tips !
I have to comment because this is so uncanny! I have a past of restriction, did the all in for 2 years, read the IE book and even was followed by a nutritionist that specializes in IE. Lately I have been struggling about obsessing over food and feeling like I have « no willpower » (sorry will have to rewatch to remember your term 😅). Then you posted this video. ❤
Our society has truly made us think weight defines who we are as a person. We are SO obsessed with body image. I have had so many dreams that I did not go for because I “needed to loose weight.” I am a average body type. But if I wanted to be an actor they would call me severely overweight. My whole life I have been obsessed about food. Having the one more binge before I start my diet. We give into those magazine covers/instagram. We had the seventeen magazine telling us to be body positive only to turn the page to a stick skinny girl. I am so over this roller coaster. I am 33 and have waisted so much energy and time on food obsession.
I use to feel relaly bad some weeks eating more than usual ( after/ during ed recovery ) Like every was okay, not obsessing, eating pretty intuatively ( sorry for my englisj hope this makes sense ) Until I took on more step back and realised, It happes for 7 days like every 20 days. Before and during my very painful ans intense periods . So I gor okay with it, and even more now, continuing my journey and finally adressing my health issues, starting to look into a possible endometriosis. So now when I notice being hungry and hungry, I just eat. I now it will balance out after, and I probably need this energy for what’s coming .
Yes yes I loved this, it’s like you read my mind! I enjoy Caroline’s videos, but I was tempted to click off once she started using the “willpower” language, it definitely irked me a bit. And I thought a similar thing about maybe eating a small breakfast is the reason she is tempted to eat so much in the evening, because she hasn’t had enough during the day! Thank you for the video ❤
I like the idea of having activities to keep you busy when you want to binge eat. As a binge eater ( mostly at night after dinner ) I’m trying so hard to recover and leave this in my past, I let myself still have a snack ( healthy ish ) at night as I can’t just not eat at all. I’m not there yet 😅 Baby steps right ?
I understood it as ; she plans her meals when her 'willpower' is high so that her meals are well thought out and healthy? Plus adjust the size of her meals according to her appetite which is dependent upon her willpower...
I was always thinking that unless you eat without any restrictions physical or mental recovery isn’t possible When Plano is involved it’s a gate way for ED
I love your content!!!! Being someone who was a normal size till like 18 and then after having 6 children and health issues at my heaviest I was 255lbs had gastric surgery and I’m now at 178lbs! I have been at a stall for about 3 months! I do think about food a lot and what I will be having because I now eat so little at a time! I am not so concerned with calories and calorie counting as I am with making sure I get the right amount of protein per day! My husband brought it to my attention that I do talk about food a lot! ❤thank you so much for your content I really appreciate it! It helps all of us so much!!! Food for thought: I live in Puerto Rico which the meals are very carb heavy pan or bread and arroz or rice or plantain with every meal. What are good alternatives to ask for? I know many cultures that have bread or rice with every meal. How does someone who is recovering from an ED or after having weight loss surgery deal with this on a less restrictive model? I just try very hard not to eat rice or bread at all but it is soooooo very hard! Your Thoughts? 😊❤
Hi Abbeys what are your thoughts on all the negative videos about protein powders. My body can honestly do with protein supplementing, but with all the scary facts out there about protein powders I'm scared to give them a try, especially relating to the fact that they cause infertility in women and I do want to have kids. Your expert opinion on the subject would be highly appreciated.
In high school I ate lettuce carrots and bananas for breakfast. In a cup. Like a 1 cup. Already at 200 lbs. I just see it as my underlying rabbit food tendencies, instead of thinking too deeply ab it and what it resulted in. Those were BAD days.
What if you don't have that flexiblity to choose high protein food all the time because of the money and ur current schedule .u feel it's cheaper and more available to eat high carb diet
Thanks again to Homeaglow for sponsoring today’s video! Head to www.homeaglow.com/abbeysharp to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19.
Homeaglow is a scam and you should not be promoting them.
@@BeautifulBrainiacWe too have had issues with this "service." Please look at independent reviews of this company and the issues people have had with it. As much as I like Caroline's and Abbey's content, they likely have a MUCH different experience than the average Jane will have and likely didn't get signed up in perpetuity with no one to contact to cancel.
Abbey! I’ve loved your channel for a while and I love this video too. I’m really this video helped people. I also really enjoy your proposed language of “coping capacity” as opposed to “willpower” - I see what you mean about how language matters. And yes, you correctly understood the spirit of what I said! By working with my willpower I mean working with my natural energy - I find this to be helpful when you’re trying to make any major life change (whether working on difficult relationships with family, trying to start a new exercise habit, starting a UA-cam channel, or trying to recover from an eating disorder - all of these will go “worse” when my energy is low). It helps me to be honest with myself about when in the day my energy is highest. Thank you for weighing in here, I truly love your content (and my mom does too! Also a dietician) Keep it up ❤
omg Caroline. I love you both! I love all your content on design. Really helped me when reclaiming my space after a breakup. Also your video has been meaningful in my recovery. I got what you meant
A wonderful meeting of minds and information that will help so so many people
I love this so much 🥹
Caroline!🎉🎉🎉 Love you❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing your story so openly, and for giving us all some amazing tools to consider! And say hi to your RD mom for me!
Imagine all the mental energy and free time i would have not obsessing over food and weight every single second of my life since I was 8 ♥️💯🙏
This made me choke up I remember that too and judging my little thighs next to girls in my class…
It's crazy to think about. We can get there!
@@AbbeysKitchen For me it's the opposite I eat way too much and I must cut back! In the past I used food as an cooing mechanism! Now I've went from 5'6 at 252 pounds to 209! My goal weight is 180 and I'm good!
I'm 57 and still obsessing...since I was about 11. I've wasted SO much of my brain power and life.
Facts
I LOVE everything about Caroline Winkler. She is smart. She is funny. Love her.
"A BALANCED DIET IS AN IMPERFECT DIET"👏👏👏👏👏 Bravo enough said.... that statement was my take from this video.
Caroline is great. So honest and authentic. I appreciate your input. ☺️
Authenticity is needed on this platform so I agree
@@AbbeysKitchen Agreed! Liked this video before I watched it, because y'all are both gems!
Hi Abbey, just to say it once (though I am usually more of a silent observer :D): It is SO important what you do, educating people on healthy eating behaviours with scientific evidence, opening conversations on how to manage anxiety and EDs, and sharing your journey. I am sure there are many "silent observers" like me, who've been watching your content and learned/ grown from it. great work from you and your team
I love Caroline! She's such a refreshing presence on youtube.
This is what I've been dealing with lately. I never knew I was prone to binging and I was constantly thinking about food. I'm so glad I'm out of that cycle ❤ I feel so much better.
so so happy for you!
I love Caroline. So glad you were able to share her story. She is an amazing person and creator!
Thanks for this! Such good timing for this video. I'm going into residential treatment for my ED in the next couple weeks and obsessing over food has been such a challenge for me. I've been having so much anxiety over having to eat more without purging, but I want so badly to get to a place of not obsessing over food and actually giving my body the energy it needs so I can get stronger. Thanks for everything you do 🩷
You've got this, Alex!! Wishing you all the best. 💞
@@momcatx2 thank you so much! 🩷
The only way I found was to eat what I craved, when I was hungry EVERYTIME. Yes I gained weight at first, but then my weight stabilized and now after 30 years of ED, I no longer obsess about what I eat.
honouring your cravings is a crucial step of early recovery
I put on 50lbs over 2 years and my weight never stabilized
My therapist just worked with me on things to do to take my mind off obsessions or for when I'm anxious. She called it the "Oh sh*t kit," lmao and I love it!
Sounds amazingly interesting share more if you feel comfortable too😍🥰
@@saskiadeciu Sure, we based it off a handout called "Distress Tolerance Handout 8" not sure if that will be searchable, but it basically outlines examples of things you can do to self soothe in all different senses. Not all of mine were from the list, but it's a good start. I have essential oils in my kit that I use for smell, a Spotify Playlist for sound, a stress ball and ice pack (heat or cold are great for snapping out of anxiety attacks) for touch, and a couple pieces of chocolate for if I want to indulge instead. Hope that helps!
@@saskiadeciu Sure! My therapist used the Distress Tolerance Handout 8 for reference and we just compiled a couple things for different senses that can help self soothe for anxiety or obsessions. For me, I have essential oils for "smell" that I keep on my desk. I have fidget toys for touch, plus a cold pack because extreme temperatures on either side can help stop a panic attack. I also have a Sporify Playlist I use for "hearing" and a couple pieces of peanut brittle for taste, if I'd rather do that.
That was really good and helpful! I lost 50 pounds two years ago on basically a starvation diet. I didn’t realize it then, but now I do. My hair fell out, my nails no longer grew, but I was thin…. I’m 64, so it’s harder anyway, but after listening to you Abbey and a couple more people like you, I have now gained 20 pounds. Lol. Not really funny, but I’m learning and I’m eating more and my hair is good again and my nails are finally growing long and strong Ike they used to be. Now my goal is to build some muscle strength without going crazy about it and learn to eat more intuitively and hopefully it will all work out and I’ll at least be strong and fit. :)
you have helped me understand why I could never lose weight ... I was always restricting and making unrealistic goals... I found you over a year ago and have been blessed by your content. I have found a way of life that works for me and am now finally gaining muscle and losing fat the healthy way. I am also teaching my children how to have a wonderful relationship with food. That you for your love and honesty
Do you have any tips for someone struggling to lose weight? I can’t get away from the restricting and binge eating cycle. I’m always setting unrealistic goals
Caroline’s content is super friendly to my ADHD brain. Not sure what it is but her take is open, understandable and fun enough to relate and be usable which is really difficult to find as an neurospicy woman.
Ahhhhh I’m a HUGE fan of Caroline and your videos and this specific video of hers have helped me a TON!
I follow Caroline and absolutely adore her. And I follow you, Abbey, and I not only like, but need you because I am a dietitian myself and have been out of work (intentionally). I keep up with the latest trends and science and you are a wonderful resource. Thank you!
Thank you SO MUCH for talking about the topic of "having a goal body" and the pressure that RDs & CNSs might feel to uphold a certain look. I'm finishing up a graduate program for nutrition and have struggled most of my life with an ED and this is a topic that I still struggle with regularly. It meant a lot to hear your perspective on it. Thank you for your take on this sensitive topic! You handled it beautifully.
Good video! Caroline’s info about many subjects is entertaining and enlightening! Glad to see you supporting her.
Thank you for the content! I really appreciate not demonizing people that do have body goals, as long as they are realistic and healthy. I compete in MMA/Boxing which has limited weight classes. I don’t like to make weight in an unhealthy way with crash dieting and extreme dehydration 12 hours before weigh in, so I am working on healing from ED while still pursuing the sport that I love with a long term, balanced approach to nutrition. Thinking of my meals in terms of Hunger Crushing Combos is very helpful!
I LOVE CAROLINE
ahhh my two youtube worlds colliding!!!
yayyy
LOL!! Mine too.
Same 😊
My people!!
Ahhh the UA-cam mashup I couldn’t have imagined!! Love you both 💗
Big, big Caroline and Abbey Fan! Love this!
I am quite the fan of Caroline. I love her quirkiness and honesty and feel like this is someone who speaks to me. Thanks for covering her.
I just want to say I adore Caroline and I adore Abbey. What a treat to see both in one video!
I don't have ed, but notice that when I've had filling nutritious breakfast, lunch and snack I feel satisfied with a smaller lighter dinner.
I think Caroline meant that it was easier for her to have a big breakfast without thinking much about food. In the evening she was so full of anxiety, that she could only muster so much eating without obsessing
I loooove Caroline’s channel. So glad you reviewed it Abbey! ❤
Thank you so much Abbey. I have been really wanting to increase veggies and fiber in my diet. I'm trying to eat in a way that feels best for my body. It's extremely difficult to trust that my body knows best when I'm hungry all the time, and I know that including the hunger crushing combo in my meals will help with that. Your channel has helped me so much to open up to include carbs, fat, and starches in my meals to help me be satiated longer. I'm still not all the way there, but your channel has helped me come a long way. This video in particular is helpful because the food noise is always there. I completely understand the anticipation of what she calls "willpower" which is really just "mental energy." I usually do good with eating in the mornings but afternoons/evenings are really difficult for me. So I will now work on anticipating that lack of mental energy to deal with food in the afternoons and will brainstorm ways to make it easier for me in the evenings. When I eat afternoon snacks, I usually feel a lot better in the evening to prepare meals, so maybe it's just a matter of prepping afternoon snacks in advance and thinking of easier, quicker snacks.
I know not everyone will agree but I like the term willpower. It actually feels empowering that I do in fact have some control and it’s not just completely out of my hands. If someone told me I have zero control over my actions around food, that would feel much scarier.
I was really proud of myself. I have been craving cookies and I finally gave in and let myself get a package of them last night at the grocery store …. And I am happy to report I ate just one
I love Caroline. And I loved the coping capacity definition! I could relate so badly, not just with my eating, but with my other behavior issues as well.
Love an Abbey x Caroline crossover.
i love caroline! and loved your commentary on her tips!
8:49 I actually relate to this a lot!! It's much easier for me to be healthy earlier in the day than in the evening. SO I set aside my snacking and bigger meals for later in the day.
10:10 this doesn't mean I don't get adequate meals in the morning though.
I did not realize how severe my food obsession was until moments when I've been on prescription appetite suppressants and was SHOCKED to not be thinking of food around the clock.
I mean, I was thinking about food, and I still am, because I am prepping ingredients to make my favorite chicken gnocchi soup. So exciting, I have been wanting it for days and I finally went to pick up the ingredients from the store.
Gnocchi soup?! sounds incredible
@@AbbeysKitchenand I am using one of your tips, and I got some veggies and hummus, with a bit of bread/pita chips, to snack on while I cook so I don’t binge on my favorite soup as soon as it is done. It has really helped me to start thinking of an adding mindset as opposed to a restricting one.
Personally I would like to listen more a dietician with a “non goal body” because they KNOW how difficult it is to fight with your own body and weight.
Extremely interesting and helpful like all your publications, thank you!
so glad, thanks Claire!
Abbey can speak on Ilana Muhlsteins approach to weight loss and techniques to healthy eating? Do you find it a bit triggering or restrictive for people with ED or binge eating or overeating/emotional eating...?
I'm literally so sick of the "food noise" and the constant thinking about it, it's driving me insane at this point. I've had an ed for 4 years now and I know what i need to do to recover but I just can't bring myself to take the first step. Does anyone have any advice?
I am always thinking about what I'm going to be eating.
Currently wanting the new double crunch coffee crisp ice cream bars!!! It is so crazy good!!
Also prepping fresh dill to make ranch tomorrow!
I love the idea of coping capacity! I have totally noticed this.
I was actually searching for snacks in the kitchen when I started this video, felt like you talked to me directly 😅
When she is talking about her "will power battery", this is exactly how i would describe battling symtpoms of ADHD and emotional dysregulation throughout the day. It definitely isnt *tehnically* a lack of will power, but it *feels* like it...especially considering the stigma neurodivergent people, (especially women in our age group), grew up feeling and then ended up internalizing as having a 'lack of something.' Idk about Caroline, but to me she is describing emotional dysregulation, which definitely lends itself to obsessive behaviors and negative thinking toward regular, every day things like eating.
Abbey, I have a question: do more people have ED’s these days or are ED’s being diagnosed/discussed more openly? It seems like every other person has or had an ED at sometime in their life anymore and I’m so confused. Have I just been in a bubble this whole time?
Mounjaro is the only thing thst has stoped my food problems that have pegged me for years! Modern medicine is AMAZING!
Abby can you explain the difference between disordered eating and eating disorder It seems that they aren’t the same thing
I absolutely LOVE Caroline. She's my favorite follow.
I love Caroline so much, thank you for sharing her story.
Love Abby and Caroline! Great video!
She has the best vlog ever
We love Caroline!
Holy shit!!! WTF is wrong with the world when you have been told you don't have a "goal body" wtf is a goal body?!!!!! You look gorgeous!!! And fit far out. The world is broken
PLEASE if you are a person with a menstrual cycle start cycle syncing if you struggle with food. It has been a LIFESAVER for me. Knowing that I’m super hungry because I’m in my luteal phase and that I need more calories but that I will be less hungry in my follicular phase is HUGELY beneficial information. For most women, this is how things balance out. Cycle tracking has allowed me to trust my body, understand my satiety more, and get rid of the guilt around food.
As a subscriber to both of you this is like the mid 2000’s when T-Pain would be featured in every hit single
7:50 god I LOVE this reframing
Caroline’s video helped me a lot.
Personally, I actually like the word willpower a lot, it also plays a huge role in decisions in general and it makes sense to plan our days around our limited willpower. And there’s really no shame in admitting that our willpower is limited because that’s just how it is.
I was also so happy to hear her say it’s okay to have a preference on how you look. If I still felt like I couldn’t have a preference if I want to recover, I wouldn’t have ever made the decision to recover. I’m trying to have realistic goals and I’m trying to trust my body, but not caring about how it looks is just so unrealistic. Almost all of us care to a degree.
By the time i get home in the evening, my coping capacity is WRECKED. I've been masking all day, I've worked my butt off at work and although I've pre-prepped a healthy breakfast and lunch, I fall flat at night. I have to cook dinner and being in the kitchen is like all being in a rock concert and food is the lead singer. I cannot think of anything else but eating stuff I don't need because I know I'm going to eat dinner in life 30 minutes. It derails all my hard work trying to shed 130lbs.😢
RE the "willpower" discussion, this seems like a good place to introduce the addiction recovery acronym HALT/SALT. When an addict is feeling like they want to use/abuse substances or alcohol they are advised to check in: are they Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? (those of us with food issues may substitute "Sad" because we may not know when we are hungry for food, and Anxious may be useful for some, vs. Angry). Understanding how the normal emotional flow of a day affects our ways of eating can be really useful, and "willpower" (with its implied strength/weakness paradigm) doesn't enter into it.
I watched this while having a nice big high-protein smoothie for breakfast! (Frozen spinach, frozen blueberries, plain Greek yogurt, natural peanut butter, and vegan chocolate protein powder, if anyone's wondering.) I love the idea of coping capacity - really makes sense to me how this can decline over the course of a day where so many things can wear you down. While I think Caroline probably meant the exact same thing, for some of us the term "willpower" is so poisoned by the diet industry by now that I sort of mentally lean away when I hear it. Anyway, I think she had great ideas and your commentary on it was also spot-on!
Oh, also, I straight up deleted instagram off my phone. Way easier to just not be on there at all. I rarely feel like I'm missing anything tbh.
Omg I needed this video. I am literally addicted to Ben and Jerry’s Netflix and chilld. I eat a pint every single day for the past 2 years. I should also mention I’m an addict (illicit substances)who’s been in recovery for over 4 years now. I am very aware of the transfer of addictions but it’s crazy that I’m now addicted to this stupid, very fattening ice cream smh. I need to get my ish together so I don’t end up with diabetes.
When you think about it, ice cream is WAY better than illicit substances! Now is it good that it's replaced with ice cream in the context of long term health? It would really depend on other factors (and I'm assuming you eat a balanced diet overall alongside the ice cream for my suggestion). But, it might be possible for you to have LESS ice cream instead of cutting it out? Like instead of a pint per day, try half a pint per day or whatever amount that's less than a pint that works for you. I feel like lighter ice cream substitutes (Halo and other brands) would not be a viable long term solution, however it is probably worth a try to see if it works for you!
A lot of people with BED don't restrict, we just binge. In fact restriction isn't a diagnosis criteria for BED. I feel like for us there is no cure, no recovery, just management and very strict access to food needs to be part of it. I am happy for the woman in this video though and anyone who has managed to find peace!
omg what do they mean u are not body goals?? u absolutely 100% are to me. u look beautiful!
I have to split my breakfast in half. I have some yogurt first thing, then it follows an hour later with oatmeal and fruit. I can’t eat a whole breakfast as soon as I wake so I make sure to have carbs when I’m fully awake.
happy you found a strategy that works for you
My personal nutritionist suggested this for me and it worked great! I even lost a little of weight too.
I can be good all day than sabotage myself the evenings.. I can relate to what she’s saying about lower willpower in the evenings. I find it easier to say no at the store than in my kitchen. I just can’t buy stuff I know I will binge on.
Okay but like…Abbey does have a goal body?? She looks amazing. I’ve literally had the thought opposite of the comment she mentioned where I thought “wow, it’s so nice she could fully recover and still look great, I feel like if I did, I would just look meh” 😂
As someone trying to lose weight I have found being obsessed with food was a huge problem. I was given guidelines by a nutritionist and the counting of calories took the enjoyment of food and left me depressed and angry. I am back to trying the calorie counting again as I have gained back quite a bit of the weight I did lose. Do I have to count calories for the rest of my life?
The rewiring statement makes me wonder if psychedelic treatment could help in a similar way to how it helps with depression or addiction by creating new neural pathways.
And yes - I think Coping Capacity is a more accurate term.
What’s annoying is having ice cream at night and then feeling immediately guilty about it afterwards. I had Ben & Jerry’s last night and finally thought I don’t give a crap. I don’t do this daily but I want some tonight.
Boy I feel this
you have nothing to feel guilty of xx
Im literally hungry all the time even with hunger crushing combos i feel hopless
It might be insulin ….
I loved this video, it has given me some new terms to describe what's going on in my brain, thank you!
I just don’t know how to stop. I’ve tried so freaking hard to try to stop but idk why I just can’t. Although I have gotten better thank god, I used to fast and when I broke my fast I used to eat only 350-450 calories per day for a month and then I bumped up to 700-850 calories per day for a few months. I’m trying to eat 1000-1200 calories per day *my TDEE is 1200 cal per day and my BMR is 1002* so obviously I’ve damaged my metabolism so I’m scared of gaining weight. I used to do INTENSE exercise each day with my rlly low calorie diet but now I only burn 120-150 cal per day. But it’s so exhausting mentally and physically being not able to stop thinking abt the calories or weight gain, I literally can’t eat ANYTHING without knowing the calories and if I don’t know it I would not even eat it…. The worst part is that I’m only 12 almost 13 in July….😢 * edit * please give me some tips !
i LOVE caroline what a lovely crossover
I have to comment because this is so uncanny! I have a past of restriction, did the all in for 2 years, read the IE book and even was followed by a nutritionist that specializes in IE. Lately I have been struggling about obsessing over food and feeling like I have « no willpower » (sorry will have to rewatch to remember your term 😅). Then you posted this video. ❤
I loved this video Abbey! Through these enlightened commentaries you have built such a safe space for ED recovery online. I owe you a lot 🥲
Our society has truly made us think weight defines who we are as a person. We are SO obsessed with body image. I have had so many dreams that I did not go for because I “needed to loose weight.” I am a average body type. But if I wanted to be an actor they would call me severely overweight. My whole life I have been obsessed about food. Having the one more binge before I start my diet. We give into those magazine covers/instagram. We had the seventeen magazine telling us to be body positive only to turn the page to a stick skinny girl. I am so over this roller coaster. I am 33 and have waisted so much energy and time on food obsession.
I use to feel relaly bad some weeks eating more than usual ( after/ during ed recovery )
Like every was okay, not obsessing, eating pretty intuatively ( sorry for my englisj hope this makes sense )
Until I took on more step back and realised,
It happes for 7 days like every 20 days. Before and during my very painful ans intense periods .
So I gor okay with it, and even more now, continuing my journey and finally adressing my health issues, starting to look into a possible endometriosis.
So now when I notice being hungry and hungry, I just eat. I now it will balance out after, and I probably need this energy for what’s coming .
Abbey, I always love watching your content! Side note - where is your shirt from? It's super cute!
Yes yes I loved this, it’s like you read my mind! I enjoy Caroline’s videos, but I was tempted to click off once she started using the “willpower” language, it definitely irked me a bit. And I thought a similar thing about maybe eating a small breakfast is the reason she is tempted to eat so much in the evening, because she hasn’t had enough during the day! Thank you for the video ❤
I like the idea of having activities to keep you busy when you want to binge eat.
As a binge eater ( mostly at night after dinner ) I’m trying so hard to recover and leave this in my past, I let myself still have a snack ( healthy ish ) at night as I can’t just not eat at all. I’m not there yet 😅
Baby steps right ?
I understood it as ; she plans her meals when her 'willpower' is high so that her meals are well thought out and healthy? Plus adjust the size of her meals according to her appetite which is dependent upon her willpower...
Beet video I've seen from you in awhile. Appreciate the good content.
I had chocolate cake for breakfast and I didn't feel guilty like I usually do for "going off plan" , I feel freer and happier for it🙂
I was always thinking that unless you eat without any restrictions physical or mental recovery isn’t possible
When Plano is involved it’s a gate way for ED
Abbey!!!! This outfit is KILLING!!! i feel like you're dressing a lot more confidently lately and it is so working for you
I love love Caroline’s videos
Track protein for food will power
This helped me a lot ❤ Thankyou
I love your content!!!! Being someone who was a normal size till like 18 and then after having 6 children and health issues at my heaviest I was 255lbs had gastric surgery and I’m now at 178lbs! I have been at a stall for about 3 months! I do think about food a lot and what I will be having because I now eat so little at a time! I am not so concerned with calories and calorie counting as I am with making sure I get the right amount of protein per day! My husband brought it to my attention that I do talk about food a lot! ❤thank you so much for your content I really appreciate it! It helps all of us so much!!!
Food for thought: I live in Puerto Rico which the meals are very carb heavy pan or bread and arroz or rice or plantain with every meal. What are good alternatives to ask for? I know many cultures that have bread or rice with every meal. How does someone who is recovering from an ED or after having weight loss surgery deal with this on a less restrictive model? I just try very hard not to eat rice or bread at all but it is soooooo very hard! Your Thoughts? 😊❤
"Are you thinking about food right now?" OK, get out of my head for a minute.
Hi Abbeys what are your thoughts on all the negative videos about protein powders. My body can honestly do with protein supplementing, but with all the scary facts out there about protein powders I'm scared to give them a try, especially relating to the fact that they cause infertility in women and I do want to have kids. Your expert opinion on the subject would be highly appreciated.
In high school I ate lettuce carrots and bananas for breakfast. In a cup. Like a 1 cup. Already at 200 lbs.
I just see it as my underlying rabbit food tendencies, instead of thinking too deeply ab it and what it resulted in.
Those were BAD days.
I love both these ladies!
Jigsaws are a great distraction to keep you from seeking food in the pantry or the refrigerator.
What if you don't have that flexiblity to choose high protein food all the time because of the money and ur current schedule .u feel it's cheaper and more available to eat high carb diet
You should make a video of what you make for your kids to eat in a day! (Obviously you wouldn’t have to include them)❤
I wondered if you were going to cover Caroline’s video!