The Trouble With Influencers Oversharing
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- Опубліковано 27 лют 2024
- Today, we're discussing the online controversy surrounding the family vlogger couple Matt and Abby. Recently, Matt has released music where he depicts his life as depressing and "not enough," while simultaneously posting happy videos with his family.
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We need to make it okay not to share everything online again.
We really do!
bring back shaming
Agreed.
But this is how they make their living. People who aren't known and sharing everything online need a irl friend to tell then to stop.
@@jaughnekowright🙄
it is already ok. Not just ok, it's normal. Sharing everything online is insane. Who's forcing you exactly.
I actually went to college with these two a few years ago! We were in the same Theatre Program and they are both very nice and compassionate people. Let me say this: for as long as I’ve known Matt he always gives off extreme golden retriever/himbo energy at times! I assure you, he means no malice and he loves and cares for his wife so so much.
Nice to see something from someone who met them irl!!
i honestly think he seems to be a great guy and i don’t find anything really wrong with them. they might over share a bit, but i dont think there really is anything wrong. matt seems great honestly
we dont care
Yeah, he may look like that when he wants to, but he is pretty clear in what he's saying to her, tearing her down, disrespecting her, it's disgusting
@@NotTodaySatan1have you ever really watched them? Its clear by your ignorant comment that you haven't been watching them. He is always hyping her up!
My Dad tried to end his life because of silent/hidden depression and chaos in his inner life.
Please don't discourage these people. I'm so glad my Dad is still here.
I’m glad hes still here with you, May Gods and Goddesses Bless your family ❤❤❤
Matt's depression song feels genuine, as someone that's battled depression he paints almost exactly how I feel, with different life circumstances. The it's still not enough line is actually very relatable to me, I always think when this happens/when I get this/when I accomplish that/etc. that my depression will magically disappear, but it doesn't. Some of my biggest depression hits happen on my best days.
I think the main problem is they film everything. Some things are too intimate to be online
Right! Thats why I don’t really post my husband on social media. (Mainly because he doesnt really like social media) i comment about him on some shorts i relate to in regards to him. Like snoring and i show him the reel we laugh. Like pictures of our dates, our time with each other. I just can’t see the point. He is MY husband no one elses so why should i post him ya know. Especially if he doesnt like social media.
And i dislike when people air out their dirty laundry on social media. Its like a cry for attention. Instead of being grown adults they air it out. I just dont see the appeal.
Sorry for the tangent but you brought up a really good point. :)
I agree. They are sharing way too much. No man should be talking to others, especially publicly, about his wife's nether regions. That's so tacky.
100% agreed. Many of these conversations should be private, and now with the reactions, we can see why. Too many people online playing like "mother in laws," trying to direct the marriage.
@@skyttyl yes exactly. I remember I saw the video of them finding out the wife was pregnant again. She had taken the pregnancy test and she didn't know the results. I remember thinking about how they set up their camera to film it, even though they weren't sure of the results, then editing it and putting it online. It really surprised me
Amen!!!
We always complain that Vloggers only post the positive and over exaggerated highs of their life, we comment that it is fake.
Then we criticise those who show the difficulties, hardships, the real struggles, and then ask them to keep that part of their lives private. 🤨
It’s all for a paycheck. Just keep it all private.
This 🙌
Yes!
Yes but I don’t think anyone is questioning that he’s showing hard parts of his life, it’s the way that he’s doing it. Specific lyric choices, pranking Abby in ways that upset her, going into personal information on their podcast etc…
It’s almost - hear me out- like family vlogging is terrible in general, and that your family life shouldn’t be a TV show for entertainment.
I appreciate you making your video without any unnecessary noises, memes, or other distractions. How energizing, and difficult to locate on UA-cam these days!
I have dealed with mental health issues my whole life and what he says is true. Sometimes you can logically see that you have so much and are still sad and don't understand why...
He's not saying "My wife and kids aren't enough to be me happy." He's saying "I have a perfect life and yet still feel bad about MYSELF."
Exactly. Like is it that hard for people to comprehend?! Tf!!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Which is basically the definition of depression right? 😂 "On paper, everything in my life looks good. But I feel sad for no apparent reason"
That’s a great way to put it
@@mrsgoemans-leith close enough. depression is something that is miosunderstood by so many people.....there are people who said i had depression and there are so many people who think you can get rid of depression because they were depressed for a short part of their life and it went away or have friends who say they got rid of it. they were depressed and didnt have depression.....if u have a form of clinical depression it is something u have to live through your entire life(there are many different types of depression technically. im a 36 year old with bi polar 1, GAD, nightmare disorder and autoimmune disorder that gives me hypothyroidism which formed in my mid 20's and undiagosised for 3-4 years which where life was literally a living hell. studied psych since i was 14 due to my family and i figured this would be my life of some sort as my familys genetics which killed off the whole family. im the last person from my genetic tree and the youngest and only person who could have a kid to extend it. the 1 person who i was going to marry died who also lived the life i did(never was going to have a kid and unless adoption.
sry for the added stuff about me but i think its important that some people are in a very rare situation.....hes in one also because most guys with serious mentla health problems never get married and a lot of the time if they do its to another person with mental illness. hes a lucky guy but no matter how lucky or unlucky a person knew life will always be empty no matter what
Honestly I feel like everyone roasting him for opening up about depression is just furthering the stigma against men who suffer with mental health and suicide.
exactly
It's a sad situation if his mental health is not good but people aren't "roasting" him for opening up about depression people are roasting him because it sounds like he's blaming his wife and kids for his struggles....
So?
@@twiztedletteslhow do you get that? He states he has everything he’s ever wanted but it’s still not enough. That’s depression, not a dig against his wife.
@@AimeeFleck please read my comment again. I didn't say I thought he was blaming his wife I said people thought it sounded that way.... I was explaining that people aren't mad at him for opening up about depression I was explaining why people were mad. His wife has postpartum and him saying her and the kids aren't enough seemed wrong to some people...
All of your transitions are so smooth, clever and oftentimes hilarious, but that transition to the Birch Gold blurb was especially flawless.
That's depression. I had everything I could ever wanted and I felt like I had no right to feel sad... but the depression drowned me deeper.
This is 100% depression. One thing that is not talked enough about is how depression negatively affects your judgement/decision making skills. I know from experience during an episode I shared far more with friends/aquaintences than I normally would/do. People sometimes overshare when they are depressed, because their mind is literally out of loop and not operating at baseline. They are grasping at straws. Anything. Everything, trying to stay afloat. Oversharing is sometimes a desperate (unconscious) cry for help that they don't know how to otherwise express.
Yes. So true. Unf know this from personal experience.
So true 😢
Literally “out of loop” and not operating at “baseline”.??? Where are you getting these non sense claims that have no medical relevance whatsoever? Those are made up terms not backed by science. I can’t read so much into people over sharing there can be millions of reasons why someone shares a lot.
100% correct
And I thought I was self aware
Pretty transparent. He says what a lot of people feel. Marriage, kids, house, job….nothing in this life satisfies. There is something deeper that the human soul needs more than air.
He needs Jesus
Nothing can fulfill your heart except the one who made it
That part!🙌🏾@@jocelyndawes7938
Yep, he needs Jesus Christ! I'm sincerely hoping and praying this family turns to Him! This is why money, material things, fame, etc. will NEVER make you truly happy. Only a relationship with our Lord will.
@@taram9409 I actually think they are a low key Christian couple! They waited till marriage, hold many biblical values, but are rocking that book of Esther lifestyle. But even when we know Jesus we still have times of darkness and disconnect. I love how abbey is so for him even through his struggles😌
My husband dealt with intense depression that got worse at such a wonderful time of our lives.. we had our home, income and the precious babies!! He felt so guilty that he felt so sad and detached.
I am really happy he wrote these songs. Some people complain about influencer's only showing the good but the second he does post something that makes them vulnerable people attack like vultures
If a woman had written and posted "Still Not Enough," people would be FLOODING her with support. The dude is obviously actually depressed, and it's sad. They all need therapy, individually and as a family.
That being said, damn, I really felt those lyrics. I could cry if I let myself.
don’t even try to pull the ‘if a woman’ card?
he has depression for sure but he doesn’t address it once.
he talks about feeling ‘sad’ but not once does he use the word, depression.
depression doesn’t occur without reason, a person who has depression is sick and they should get treatment.
to put ur wife on blast and think that it’s okay to embarrass her proves more so on how he needs to get on that lexapro dosage asap.
@@piecky1361 their point still stands.
We see women putting their husbands on blast all the time to swooning audiences.
It’s different when men do it.
No girlie. It’s not the song. It’s everything else. She loves him more. It’ll never be a good marriage. They give Christian marriages a whole rep. Telling her on camera that she feels differently is disgusting. I’m a SAHM who does most of childcare and cleaning. But my husband has a real job. He cleans and takes care of kids also. This guy is an influencer. It’s joke of a job. She works too.
Right, relationships aren’t easy and they keep trying so hard to deal with it on social media. They are being very true to themselves but people are too quick to judge. They love eachother and communicate but they don’t know how to deal with what’s going on.
@piecky1361 it's true tho
As long as I'm concerned, the only thing they're doing wrong is oversharing and putting their family online without really considering or being prepared for the consequences of allowing their family to be vulnerable to the internet and all the hateful people online.
Edit to add: Yes, they are both immature. So much of what they post and do is extremely unwise. My parents have one of the healthiest marriages I know, and that is because (not inspite of) all the lessons they learned from their errors over the years. Errors which they used to grow together. Difference? IT'S NOT ALL POSTED ONLINE FOR MILLIONS TO VIEW FOR ALL ETERNITY.
THIS. So much this.
They don’t share their kiddos. (: so, they’re on a good path there!
Totally agree
@@ButterflyElsy agreed. it's good they stopped showing the kid's faces. I can only hope that as the kids grow and develop, they don't share stories and overshare about their kids. Even not physically showing the kid, exposing them can also take the shape of oversharing through stories. But they're not there yet, so that's a concern for the future.
And they probably didn't host a podcast that gives other young newlyweds advice on marriage while they were making and learning from mistakes
I have followed them for a few years and they have a great vlog. Seem like really genuine people.
This makes me so happy that 1.) I had a c-section and 2.), my husband and I have no social media presence.
As to his second song you mentioned, I think it's perfectly OK to not feel OK, even if you have everything that you want. I have everything that I ever wanted. The man of my dreams, the daughter I always wanted, I get to stay home with her, etc. etc. Sometimes I still feel down because of my mental health issues. I am an abuse survivor and have some bad days. That's normal. I have to remind myself that life is still good. My husband, while I know loves me more than life, also has down days. That is normal! We are not all perfect 100% of the time.
These guys have infiltrated my UA-cam shorts and now are on The Comments Section, I can’t escape them 😂
Seriouslyyyyyy!!!!!!
Fr 😭😭
I literally don't even know them. 😭
I took the song as a way of him being able to share with his wife that he is feeling depressed, while also expressing that his depression has nothing to do with their relationship or the kids. He even says has EVERYTHING he has ever wanted and knows that should be enough, but the brain chemistry isn't matching. Very similar thing in mothers with postpartum. They have a beautiful new baby, yet they still feel off. It's distressing and guilt inducing when you don't feel you have an excuse to be depressed, but you don't necessarily need one. Not all depression is situational, some is just purely chemical.
exactly, which is why it's funny they keep saying he should take care of her because of her PPD, but they don't provide the same energy back to him.
Thanks for saying exactly what I was thinking! That's kinda what happens when you're depressed.
Thats what I got from hearing it too I hate that people are so harsh on men they are human too and can get depressed this literally gives insight on why so many men have mental health issues and dont speak up.
yeah but why tf would he need to embarrass his wife like that infront of millions of people? why not show her the song in private and talk it out? why is he tryna capitalize of off this too
@piecky1361 because women post their feelings all the time he made a song an maybe he thought it could relate to other men and be helpful since it's not really talked about
I am appreciative of their openness. I can relate to so much of what they shared because I have experienced so much of what they are talking about but I don't talk about it with anyone. Its nice to hear I'm not alone. Everyone else just pretends or ignores the hard truths of life and relationships.
I feel like most people should be able to recognize this and read between the lines. Being human is so complicated and hard. His song is too good not to share because it is relatable! Keep going A & M
When it comes to depression, you can have everything you've ever dreamed about and yet still feel like something is missing. He was not putting his wife down at all. It was a cry for help with depression.
At least somebody got it!😂
"men need to talk about their feelings" same people "shut up whining"
Exactly. These same people, Brett probably included, would critique that for centuries men have been expected to bottle things up which has led to high suicide rates and many other issues. But when a man actually expresses his depression, he gets criticized. And funnily enough most of those criticizing are women. And yet they say men are the problem! How he described it is 100% how depression works. You can have the perfect life with everything you want and need, but because depression is an illness, you still feel empty and unfulfilled. Just like how the happiest people are often the ones most suicidal and depressed. But don't worry, its men who are forcing other men to keep things bottled up.
@@NathanM4A1 was the last sentence sarcasm or not
I couldn't agree more
Why can't people see that he isn't happy with himself, not with his wife and kids. He is asking for help for him, not them.
exactly
have you ever even seen the channel?
Thank you, jeez
I totally agree, when I heard the song it actually resonated with me quite a bit and even the line “it’s still not enough”. I’ll just say right off the bat, I’m a Christian so when I really break down these emotions/feelings of something not being enough it’s because it’s really not. I’m trying to fill a void that can only be filled by something (or someone, as I believe) much larger than anything life on this earth has to offer. All I wanted in life was to be a wife and mom. And I am both of those things! And yes, it makes me so happy. But there are days when the enemy attacks and plants seeds of doubt or I have a bad day and I ask “I’m living my dream, why isn’t that enough?” But often it’s because I’m trying to get spiritual satisfaction from earthly things, not from my Savior. I’m often not actively pursuing Him when I feel this way… even though I believe He’s there, I know He’s there, often times it’s my heart that isn’t in the right place. And that’s very real.
I don’t know who these people are, I’ve seen a video or two with them. I don’t think they (or anyone for that matter) should share half as much of their life as they are sharing… but I truly hope that he gets the help that he needs, and my prayer would be that he and his wife find the hope that can only be found in Christ!
Anyway, I’m sure there will be some who read this conmen and think I’m crazy and that’s okay. But I just had to say that his feelings are real as far as having everything you’ve ever wanted but not understanding why it doesnt feel like it's enough. And my belief is that as long as we put all our stock into our life here on earth and achieving all our dreams but dont invest in a relationship with Jesus, then we will never find true satisfaction.
@hannaholive6370 thanks for taking the time to write all of that out. It's truth! And a great reminder!
You are so well spoken & kind. Such a breath of fresh air on this platform. Definitely subscribing :)
Dear Brett,
Thank you for this video for one reason and that is discovering that beautiful song… “give me your worst.”
What a lovely song…
I needed to hear this as a young newly wed who thought my new husband was only there for the good times and only loved me and would listen to me as long as I “behaved.”
I can look back and see this type of love described through this
song is exactly what I needed then.
Thank you because I don’t watch this couple and I don’t think I would have discovered the song without you.
4:16 - The idea that a couple would just casually have that conversation ON AIR FOR ALL TO SEE is crazy to me. And I'm not some kind of old person ranting, I'm eighteen.
Exactly, these are normal conversations people have, the problem is they are putting it out for the world to see and that's what's causing the problems. It's like people want you to be tip toeing around everything now even with the person you should be the most open with.
Im 14 and same breh
Exactly, bloody weirdo they are!
Exactly. I didn't have a problem with him saying that to her because she ASKED, but putting it online was a bit much for me. That ain't nobody's business.
you are right
No, no, no. "It's still not enough" is exactly right. He has what he thinks he wants, but his mind is telling him what he has, and what he does, is still not enough.
God bless them both.
There's literally a whole book of the Bible written about this feeling
@@proud2batj87which one are you talking about? A few stories come to mind for me but I’m curious what the specific book is.
@@jj.wahlbergEcclesiasties
This a great video Brett! I like that you dont bash them, as they are wonderful people,however you are saying it how it is. Oversharing to the world is not healty and some things should be kept private.
I have something to add to the conversation that has not been mentioned yet. When you are in a long term relationship you start to understand what your partner means behind the words he uses. It's a natural mechanism. After a while of being understood by your partner you start focusing more on the point you want to make and less on the way you are expressing it. So probably he is using words that seem rough from the eyes of the general public, but she knows exactly what he means, this is why she doesn't get upset but the public is raging. None of us would speak to strangers in the same way we speak to our close ones, because it would sound impolite. So just let these two be and if she is happy everything is good.
So we can talk about how moms can have a good marriage, kids, house, carrer but still feel depressed and not enough, like she isn't mom enough or wife enough. But when a man goes through it, it's a red flag.
The sex life was too much to share but sharing that he's depressed might be enough to have a wife or gf ask their guy if their ok
Thank goodness I'm not the only one catching that double standard.
I don’t think it’s being looked at as a red flag, if it is I don’t think it should be either. The point I’m seeing is that it seems to be a subtle way of him saying he’s struggling or maybe a cry for help to her which is better than bottling it.. but I don’t think social media is the place to be exploring this in their marriage and his own mental health. The nasty comments and conclusions are proof it’s just not the place to be sharing this struggle. I think the better approach would be to deal with this in private and through therapy and other resources outside of the public and when things get better and more stable, be open about it after. Not in the midst of it all. Social media can be very overwhelming and toxic in general and I really don’t believe this is a healthy outlet during a battle of depression and uncertainty.
He is definitely depressed. They need to disconnect from all social media for 5 years. Constantly having to meet the demands and address the anger of complete strangers is what is exhausting them.
He's clearly a closeted gay man.
Yess 100% agree
Haha 100% of their income comes from social media and the degrees they have barely give enough income to provide for them let alone their two children now
I think the 2kids are exhausting them. We all know how fertile you are just after you've had a baby. Everything they have now is something they once wanted. Sometimes it isnt like how we imagine, & its an anti climax in reality, they dont need him to film his wifes reaction to that news to 'normalise' that. They should disconnect though, their whole family would be healthier, they're becoming like watching other professional messy life over sharers for clicks. It's cheap & exploiting their kids too.
He is the one who wants this life. He's literally doing it to himself. You can't claim to have the morals they do but then post everything possible online. The fact they monetized & posted the birth video is proof they care more about $ then anything else. They are a great example of everything you shouldn't do.
I have been watching them for years, they both seem to love each other very much!! ❤
This was rly great I have been watching them for a while now I did notice that the need to maybe keep it a little less personal on the podcasts but it was rly helpful to get your perspective Brett
It really sucks that people online aren’t even trying to be compassionate to the couple. Imagine how much worse his or her depression could get when they are being ripped into and being portrayed as a bad person online. I really hope everyone who needs healing gets it.
Why should they ?
If you watched th for a while you'll see why ppl don't like him in particular. I've followed them before they had their first child and when they had the baby you can start to see how a lot of things change in the family. She's under a lot of pressure to be online which she has said she doesn't want to be. Its his thing not hers. It also seems like she's under a lot of pressure for him to stay very fit. You the point she did a very intense race a couple weeks after a c section that she her self said was extremely hard on her. He's always going on about her looks and has said he misses how she was before they had kids saying s*x is just ok after her having 2 kids and many other incredibly insensitive things he had said about her. On top of that joking how he's single for a day/week when he was away recording a song. That was the breaking point for a lot of the ppl who still tolerated him. She seems like she just wants a quiet life and enjoy being a mom while he keeps holding on the the past and putting the pressure on her to play thus odd role of her teen self.
@Monatguest You know, women love to say they want this or that. But they sure do love the hot boys and the bad boys. And this guy is a combination of both. Somehow the woman's always able to come out. Looking innocent while making the stupidest decisions ever. the most self destructive decisions
But I'm just making this comment to say. They will never learn if you don't hold a woman accountable also.
The guy is not going to change because he keeps getting the women. He's not even lying to them like his red flat are flashing.
But if people don't hold the woman accountable for her choices , she will just go after the next hot boy because she was told she did no wrong.
Basically neither of these two are good people. The only way she can become a good person is if she is made to learn her lesson and is not done by placating her.
@@Monatguest get a life of your own and stop watching and investing so much thought into others lives that they put online. Viewers are part of the problem. You’ve watched way too much of their lives, and feel entitled to their life because of it. The viewers contribute to the problem, and act all innocent as many try to talk this young mother out of her marriage with her husband. I’ve seen a few of their videos and the comments are anti male and aggressive towards their family. They’ve got two children, and people are looking to destroy this family if this young mom listens to the talking strangers online that weirdly think they know them because of online videos.
Problem is, they are portraying themselves. The solution is to get offline.
People can twist everything so EASILY. From my perspective, He was stating that he has everything he ever wanted, but he isn’t feeling good enough within himself.. like he doesn’t feel like the best father, husband, human and the depresses him. He is saying, “Why am I not happy with myself yet, when I have the best life, why am I not enough.”
EXACTLY
Yes! He's not saying they're not enough, he's saying that all these external factors are not enough to prevent the dark thoughts...
Well said.
i agree
I agree that people twist things. At the same time, I do appreciate when writers take the time to say precisely what they mean. Even when using metaphors or symbols, there's an art to specificity. In my opinion, that's one of the factors that differentiates decent songwriters from excellent ones. And I actually think "why am I not enough" as you wrote, is a better line.
We pick apart so much online when we never know the full story. You never know what is truly going on with people. Hopefully others won't spend so much time picking apart these two.
Depression does feel like nothing is enough, even when you know everything is perfect.
🤦♀️ As a 40 something woman I can relate to this. I have a wonderful husband and child but sometimes, not often, I feel sad. It's part of the human condition. Best cure for sadness is to get out there and do something. Go to the gym, play with your kids, do some craft, run an errand, sit in the sun. Simple things which take you out of the "me, me, me" headspace are good.
That's why I stopped searching for happiness, and found contentment. Contentment and gratitude sticks with me through thick and thin, but happiness and sadness comes and goes
simple depression cure, just look up. (with eyes only)
as long as you look up, you can not get depressed.
smiling also works too.
@@brusso456 glad that works for you, but no
Divorce is coming
thats wild you said that @@marcusholbert2525
Maybe being an influencer is what's making him depressed. It's no secret that social media depresses people. All the negative comments, all the comparisons. It's hard
Praying 🙏 for Matt and his little family ❤
I have a husband who has gone through a deep depression which led to a long battle with alcoholism - and I have gone through similar depression - so I can tell you 100% this man does not think his wife and kids are not enough - he just can’t define his depression. It is so hard to define and wrap your mind around and deal with… women please please especially wives - if your man is willing and able to say these things to you, don’t jump on him right away, listen! Men are not good at dealing with this and need so much support to get through this. It’s such a battle and men have not been previously allowed to be honest about their feelings, they have to be tough and strong all the time.
What's ironic is that people keep saying that they want men to talk about their feelings more, but then when they do they get shamed. I am so glad his wife is open to hearing what he has to say and is supportive. They are absolutely too open on the internet, but they clearly talk things through and have good communication strategies which is key to making a relationship work. I do hope they are also getting professional help for things like his depression and not just saying "oh, he wrote a song, he's fine now!" I'm glad he has coping mechanisms, but professionals do help a lot.
yeah but the point is not the feelings, it's that making a tiktok about your feelings is not the same as talking openly about serious issues. Especially if you have an audience, and the subject is important to you, putting it in a tacky song gives the impression that you're not taking it seriously.
As far as family vloggers go, these two are not the worst it could be. They’re actually doing a really good job in my opinion. They bring light to a lot of issues that aren’t really talked about that should be, make great music and content all while doing their best to protect their kids from the dangers of the internet. They don’t show their kids faces and they try to keep their content based mostly on them and what they’re doing rather than exploiting the kids and using them for views like so many other family channels. They’re saying the quiet parts out loud and I’m 100% here for it. @MattandAbby Keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing amazing things ❤
Agreed
Yes have always loved them as UA-camrs and I agree i think they are doing great , I just felt for her a few times but with his age that stuff comes with the territory
Yes 🙌
Yes, I really enjoy their content and even learn new things from them. I truly believe they are genuine people.
Fr they are doing the best things for their family and they don’t even show there kids faces anymore so that’s good.
When I heard the song still not enough it made me think about my own personal feelings about my own depression. I believe he wasn’t even saying that Abby and their boys weren’t enough. Because the way I took it was he didn’t feel like he was enough. I’ve dealt with depression for so long I can’t remember when it started but my fiancé understands me and what I’m going through because everyone gets depressed sometimes but I believe he meant no harm to anyone by sharing what he wrote. And the give me your worst song really truly made me cry happy tears because it makes me think about my own upcoming nuptials and how my fiancé loves me no matter how much I tick him off but I believe that they are just trying to do the best for their family. I’ll continue to pray and support them in anyway I can 🙏
That’s why is so hard to judge people you don’t know personally,just best to not. Everybody focusing on their on lives seems like the key.
Who wouldn’t be depressed if you share your life with everybody and people criticising you, making negative assumptions, accusing you of some s***.
Instead going offline he chose ti sing about it.
It’s because as influence they get it in their head that sharing will help other people who maybe can relate to what they’re going through and they won’t feel so alone.
@@adrienneallen2277 exactly! But as it is online you could get this:
- as suggested to bring awareness and compassion to others experiencing and can be praised
- could be acting all together for clicks and profit (easy assumption when you dont have full context)
- could be some sort of abusive act on his side and her is actually captive
… as many people that many views and no way to prove either….
I of course choose to believe the first.
It doesnt matter she really hates you your a man everything she is not and she hates you for it
The line “is still not enough” taken with emotional intelligence, and in the correct context, is really powerful, because he is reaching other men who feel like no matter what they do they cannot do enough or be enough and this is who he’s talking to. And we need to tell the men in our life they’re doing a great job. We appreciate what they do. It’s not just women that need to hear that.
Hmm if he thought HE wasn’t enough, wouldn’t the lyrics be “I’M still not enough”? That’s a pretty easy change for any native english speaker, and that would completely change the message to make it less insulting and offensive to his wife and kids. As it is though, the line “it’s still not enough” conveys some pretty negative feelings towards his life around him and not directly himself. Very odd choice of words for an english speaker
This is the point people are missing. The issue is not him discussing mental health, it’s that use of “it’s” in his lyrics - which points the finger at his family. Just seems like an odd choice of wording.
Amen. The suggestion I’m seeing elsewhere that he change the lyric to “him” is not a good one because depression isn’t just about how you feel about yourself, it’s about how you feel about your circumstances sometimes too. He acknowledges that there is no reason to feel this way, so the statement that follows is actually illogical, which makes it a pretty good reflection of some people’s experience with depression. The song is not about his family and people seem to miss that. People forget that 1-10 men struggle with postpartum depression. Not saying that’s what he has but it is something to keep in mind.
@@BayleeAtkinsno it doesn't.. anyone that knows anything about depression it's that if your brain isn't right no matter how good life seems from the outside or on paper it's still not enough to make him happy in his brain.. nothing will, it's not like he could get a new family and be happy all of a sudden.. it's like post partum depression in woman .. they will have a new baby and still be so sad and kill themselves... I knew a girl had 5 children 5 and under .. when the baby turned 6 months old she shot herself .. people ask why she had a husband, 5 children, a house and family that lived her. But it doesn't matter with chemical imbalance in the brain
@@CeCe1066an yet you have not written your own song, you know what they say every a is a critic.
If you haven't battled depression its hard. Sometimes family just doesn't seem enough. It's a hard sickness to overcome. Just be kind because you never know what demons someone is fighting.
It’s like people think we should never feel opposite feelings.
I actually met these two in real life a couple years ago. We live in the same area and I ran into them at a coffee shop one day. I originally started watching them because they were a relatable, young family, and our 1st children are literally a couple weeks apart in age. They seem like really nice, genuine people. That being said, some of the things have put online recently have made me cringe a bit. However, I have to give them grace because who knows how people would judge my family if it was all on display. All that to say, I think everyone needs to be more aware of what they’re sharing. Unfortunately, sharing everything (good or bad) is how Matt and Abby make a living. All press is good press! I’m proud they protect their children’s identities, and I hope they find happiness.
Same, I never met them but they seem as genuine as someone could be. I genuinely really like them, and I’m member of the “commentary & hate” side of UA-cam.
And sharing everything IS how they make their income, so I see their over sharing as “the sacrifices you make for work”
Yes I met them too and they are so sweet! Ofc they’re a little cringey and over share, but they’re theatre kids what can we expect😂
Unfortunately, the reaction to the depression song is exactly why guys don't talk about it, and can't open up to loved ones, because (from experience) it's often taken in a negative way, and then you're made to feel guilty and even worse about it.
If anything the reactions online will just prove to people that opening up or talking about it is not acceptable to most people..
hey as a fellow man, I agee it isn't good to show that you are on shaky ground especially when you are in a relationship or married. It is frowed upon because the responsibility of a man is supposed to be that you are sure in who you are and what you are. So this isn't going to work, I highly recommend that men get into counselling to figure these issues out and not go to your spouce about these things apart from talking about it on a surface level. But this isn't a one size fits all solution, some wifes want to hear it all and are okay with it while some believe that you are not doing what you are supposed to do and they will hear but they hear with resentment. So it is a tight rope, which is why finding a counsellor is important and going to then occasionally to just talk about these issues is important.
@@TheFergo911sensible comment 👌
@@TheFergo911 You’re wife should never frown upon you having emotions as long as you’re expressing them appropriately (not screaming in people’s faces etc., man OR woman). Just because you’re human and you don’t always feel 100% sure, confident, or stable about something doesn’t take away from your leadership skills or anything else your momentary feelings pertain to. If she can’t be there for you/support you, she’s not even worth your time.
idt the problem is about him being depressed it's about them putting it out online like this fishing for views...
@@veatamendonsa5677 That's not what the comments people had show though is it..
9:53 I am married and I've dealt with depression as a teenager and as an adult. I love my husband and sometimes I feel like nothing is enough to make me happy. My husband is my best friend and he is so good to me but sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. So I get it. He feels that way too sometimes. This doesn't mean I am not enough for him or he is not enough for me. Sometimes you can still be depressed with the "perfect" life
Brett saying "BUDdy. HYPE IT UP A LITTLE MORE" is so underrated
At 45, I personally knew 3 men that committed suicide -2 of 3 were family men with children.
He's right though, he doesn't have enough, he needs help and a personal relationship with God.
@@iamme25yago yes He did 🙏🏽 John 3:16 ❤
Let me tell you a story. While I was studying for my degree in theology, deeply involved in youth and missionary work and telling people God was the answer; I always had this gigantic hole in me screaming it's still not enough. The most accurate lines I've found to describe this come from a U2 song.
"I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I'm still running
You broke the bonds
And you loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Oh my shame
You know I believe it
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for"
Just cause it works for you doesn't mean it works for everyone.
I was hoping someone would bring up God
He does have a relationship with God though! They talk about Christianity on their channel and how they waited for marriage before having sex. I know this is shocking to you, but religion doesn't solve everything. And life can be good without it.
@@ACL7211 First of all, I didn’t know he was Christian.
Second of all, I don’t think non-Christians realize how dependent they are on the Christian worldview. You have to borrow from our worldview just to live. How do you know what is good or bad without God? You don’t know, you can only know what you like or don’t like. How do you even know that your own eyes are reliable? How do you know that anything is true?
Thirdly, I don’t know who ever told you that life was perfect as a Christian. Because it’s very clear in the Bible that there will be suffering, but the difference is we know it is not in vain. We don’t suffer as people without hope. Life may not be perfect but we have a purpose and reason to live that non-Christians don’t have if they are consistent with their worldview.
I’m not here to get into an argument but that’s just something to think about.
As someone dealing with depression, I have 2 beautiful daughters but I just don’t feel happy. It’s not that they are not enough, on the contrary they are a reason for me to get up and keep going, but I recognize the feeling of “it” not being enough. But it has nothing to do with my girls. So I presume that all the people taking it the wrong way don’t have a clue what depression is really about. And yes, there are times I feel really happy and yes 6 months later you can feel the opposite. Why is this strange?
Being a human is hard. And you dont need to be perfect or feel perfect. It's okay to feel that way as long as you are trying to be your best in that situation. And "best" doesn't mean perfect.
Magnesium and vitamin D vitamins
I have dealt with depression for much of my marriage and especially postpartum from both of my pregnancies. I totally understand. But what makes this uncomfortable for me is the digs he's made at his wife and posting it online. That just seems way off. I never humiliated my husband or kids in the process. That's the thing I don't like about those posts. If he was talking openly about the depression without subtle insults, etc, that would be totally different.
I suffered from severe depression for years, and having a wonderful husband, owning our own home, 2 children and a great career couldn’t stop me from being depressed.
It isn’t that everything wasn’t enough for me. It was a chemical imbalance that is now resolved, thankfully.
Matt and Abbey are very young. I think people forget that.
I’ve met and spent time with both Matt and Abby and I think people are overlooking those. They are both enamored with each other and very kind individuals.
This is why I would never record my relationship. People are going to criticize everything you do. Some things need to be kept private
Being a man being called worthless or made to feel worthless sticks with you harder and longer than being told you're loved and needed/wanted. It's a hard feeling to shake even when you seemingly have it all and you're still not happy.
Facts
I feel like it’s been watered down at this point cause it happens so much o. The internet LOL
I would say this goes for women too..
I have watched these two for several years, and from day one it has been their mantra to being very genuine and real with their audience. I do think nowadays they are going a little overboard, but honestly knowing where they came from and how far they’ve come, I understand that it’s all done out of love and this is honestly Matt’s way of taking care of and providing for his family which he clearly loves enormously. Loved this video and Brett though!😃😃
I think when he says "still not enough" he means even though his life is so beautiful and wonderful, it's not enough to cure him of his anxiety and depression. It's definitely about his mental health.
Like I agree he probably should have worded it differently but I don't think he was trying to say she and the kids weren't enough.
As a women myself I’ve noticed this major trend on social media where it’s a different response when men or women share their mental health struggles. (Ex: almost every single female influencer that’s a mom or a wife will post about their mental health struggles & the comments are very nice, compassionate, supportive etc.. (how it should be) but when men post the same videos the comments are just full of women & men making fun of them. I saw several videos on tik tok a while ago, 1 girl was sharing how her husband unalived himself & everyone was extremely kind & respectful in the comments, I saw a video yesterday of a guy sharing how his wife unalived himself & the comments weee like “what did u do to her?” “Obviously you cheated, or u hurt her in some way” some comments were legit saying “u should ☠️ urself” (cruel af comments mostly from other women but also men, making fun of this dude, & some comments saying just “man up & move on” idk it’s just sad af.. I remember friends being like “idk why men don’t open up about their mental health issues” & legit just from what I’ve seen on social media made me start to understand why men don’t. it’s just sad the lack of empathy
Well said!
This is a society of hypocrites, always has been, always will be...
Well, to be fair, this man, by his own admission, believes in traditional gender roles. Why would he expect his feelings to be treated with the same understanding and compassion as women's feelings get? Something doesn't add up. You want to "be the man"? Then get treated like a man. You can't claim wanting to follow strict gender roles when it's convenient, and then ask for more equality of treatment on other matters.
@@celian.6577 He's a human, not a robot. Feelings and emotions are the same for everyone. Mental health issues can happen to everyone and they can be just as deadly for everyone. Being a man or a woman shoudn't matter.
@@Martyna456 I agree with you. But people who truly believe in strict traditional gender roles don't think that being a man or a woman shouldn't matter. To them, men are men, and women are women. They can't possibly be treated the same way, because they are not the same. Either you agree with that lifestyle, or you don't. If you agree with it, though, you can't come crying when people treat you harshly and expect you to endure silently because you are a man, or suffocate you by dictating your life and expecting you to submit because you are a woman. Those are what traditional gender roles are about.
My husband feels this way, so I get it. It’s fun to hear but that feeling is there to remind us we need something more than the world can offer. More like a Someone.
I was diagnosed with depression/anxiety at the age of 9 and was contemplating ending my life at 15. Praise the Lord I was given rides to a weekly Bible study where I learned about Jesus Christ. Nine months after attendance I cried out to Him in tears before bed, “I hear of Your love and I hear of Your promises, but I want to experience it for myself!” When I was waking up the next day I heard the audible voice of God (although I didn’t put that together at the time) say, “I will never leave you.” I was instantly healed of my deep sadness and depression ever since!
Bless be the Lord Jesus. He is everything we need. I love Him so much ❤
That’s funny I was gonna kill myself because of that awful religion. Things got better for little 8 year old me after I left that crazy mindset behind and put all my energy into learning math.
Life was absolute hell up until that point, no child should feel such a strong desire to kill themselves.
I thank Our Lord Jesus Christ for you. ❤❤❤❤ Let His name be praised
If the children are healthy, happy, loved and thriving, have at it.
We all run households, family and friends in a way that suits the people involved. People need to mind their own business and focus on their lives and loved ones!
We all want more and more all the time. Depression, anxiety and emotional issues are not always materialistic or in the here and now. We all have issues and regrets. Nobody is perfect and there is so much out there being thrown at us every day through social media, traditional media and the people around us all searching for bigger and better.
He just expressed it the best way he knows how and I bet everyone who listens to that song can relate and reflect it into their lives. We are all to good at throwing shame on what could be just pure and honest.
I have adhd. My husband untimely has to help with certain things that some may not need to, but he also has his own shortcomings. The most important advice I have about marriage is to recognize the imperfections in yourself before you chastise your spouse for being imperfect.
I think a lot of people underestimate the emotional toll postpartum and having very young children take on a marriage. My husband and I also got married very young and had our oldest children less than a year apart. It’s a lot. All the hormones, all the changes in routine, the lack of sleep, and not knowing how exactly to support each other, my husband also worked nights, so I was the sole caregiver for the kids 24/7. I struggled with postpartum depression, and my husband felt like he was missing out on so much because he only saw us for an hour or so a day. I feel like they are just struggling a bit to find balance in this new season, like all new parents. They just have the added pressure of needing content to provide for their kids so we’re watching them find their way in real time, but instead of offering them grace in this really challenging season, people are tearing them down.
Don't your kids sleep at night? I worked nights and he worked days so I was up until 3am at work then my day with the kids started at 7. He got to sleep all night. I did everything.
@@gingerlee726 they were both less than a year old, so no. They didn’t really sleep well at night. He had a weird 12 hour schedule and worked from 5pm to 5am. I ended up finding out that a delayed schedule worked out best for us. Kids woke up around 9:30-10, we ate a big lunch around 2:30 since that was the only meal we all ate together, had a lunch style dinner around 8 and the kids went down for the night around 11. I’d then stay up until around 2 doing dishes, laundry, cleaning the house, take a shower, etc. I’d go to bed after feeding the youngest baby her first nighttime feed, my oldest would wake up and want cuddles or to night nurse around 4. The youngest would wake up again around 6 for another feeding, and I’d get up at 8. They also shared a room, so sometimes one would wake the other up. Good sleep didn’t happen until my second child was 18 months old. That was almost 9 years ago and my husband has since moved back to day shift, but it was really difficult there for a while until we hit our stride.
On the contrary, i believe its overstated hust to create awareness. Due to the awareness many people that wouldn't have felt it now have it/claim to have it. We are living in times when "attention grabbing" and victim mentality is desirable.
Check how many African women experience postpartum. Western women have better lives and comfort yet childbirth is more traumatic for them. Doesn't make sense. Btw some african women still use nappies instead of diapers.
They have her parents live with them to help take care of the kids + they are travelling multiple times a month without kids 😅
@@obajuluwaoluwatomisin3883 I would say it’s because we have such comparatively easy lives that more women are experiencing it. Coupled with the reality that we don’t really have the tight knit community and support systems needed to make sure we’re okay. Motherhood is lonely without that immediate access to others who love you and want to help you succeed. In many third world cultures older women in the community essentially take over for a period of time so the new mother can just focus on recovering from birth and taking care of the new baby. Chinese confinement is a good example of this. This is not the case for most women in American society. The immediate access to support and the expectation of just going on with daily life immediately after birth is a dangerous combination.
This reminds me of the Black Mirror episode "Nosedive", where people maintain cringeworthy ultra-perfect online personas to maximise their social media popularity and scores.
That sounds like a documantary of the last 10 years of social media.
He’s openly discussed how he suspects he has ADHD which is way beyond just a lack of focus. It’s depressing, it’s tiring constantly trying to find the dopamine. I look at that song as him saying he’s got everything he wants, but for some reason he is still empty inside, which is common with ADHD.
I wasn't expecting this video to go where it did-- and I loved it. Good job Brett and crew. well organized episode!
I've seen a good amount of their content in the last year or so and I've got the impression they're a good young couple, emphasis on the young, figuring their marriage and parenting out. And the thing is, that's totally normal and they should be allowed to do that, but they're doing it in front of a crowd. So missteps that they're inevitably gonna make and grow from are magnified to the masses and blown out of proportion. As much as the internet loves getting involved and knowing all the gossip, we'd all do ourselves a favor by sharing less than we think we should
I think if you want your marriage to last, you should not be influencers. It's a horrible way to live inviting all these people into your space.
I think it's also helpful to remember that if you are creating content, you should be doing it for the people 5-10 years behind you ... their message is PERFECT for young people who think having a marriage and family is old school ... it's NOT great content for people like me who have been married almost a decade, am pregnant with my 5th child, and have been juggling marriage, family and business for a while ... it tends to make me cringe, because I'm watching as someone who is through those years and I know that they still have a lot to learn and juggle and balance ... doesn't take away their value or what they bring to the table! But it's hard to be in an influencer position when you are still in the "wisdom gathering" mode of life ... 🤷🏼♀. They still need all of the love, wisdom, and wise people surrounding them as possible - they are only at the beginning of their life!
"The day that you were born is the day that God decided the world could not exist without you" is such a powerful quote to remember when you feel low, worthless or worse! Please know that your negative feelings will come and go but that you are cherished by your Creator! Thank you to the originator of the quote and God bless everyone! ❤
As a Christian, that's biblically inaccurate and narcissistic. Better thing to say is God created you cause He loves you and has a purpose for you, one you'd only learn IF you form a relationship with Him
@@Dude-dx5ns Fair enough, I meant what you said
This is a famous quote from Rabbi Nachman of Breslov who is a well-known Jewish rabbi from about 200 years ago.
As a jew, this quote absloutly lifts me up every time i struggle.
Yet babies are being killed every day
I think the second song would have resonated with many men (unfortunately) but knowing who he is with just makes that a dagger to the heart.
my husband and i have traditional roles but he always helps out!! takes the kids to the grocery store for me, helps drive to lessons, picks up after himself (though i do usually do most of the cleaning since im here all day). the work load is pretty evenly spread all things considered. i agree he should have phrased it differently.
I can feel for him deeply. I got married a little over a year ago. I am happier than I’ve ever been, but that does not fix everything. I am still deeply depressed. On the outside, I am getting my masters and I am happily married. On the inside, I am hurting for reasons I cannot explain. Of course I’ve discussed this with my husband and he knows that I am not happy, but he also knows it’s not because of him. I can understand why people are questioning his phrasing, but you can want more out of life and still love your family. There can be something missing even if you are in a loving relationship with children.
I feel like the internet's reaction to his song about "everything not being enough" points to a larger societal issue where people don't understand that all the milestones in life (graduation, career, marriage, kids) mean NOTHING when we are lacking a certain satisfaction spiritually. I don't know what their relationship with God looks like, but I've found personally that even when my whole life is perfect on the outside, when I am lacking spiritual connection and soulfulness, all the "perfectness" actually makes you feel worse since everyone is telling you that you should just be happy... It's sad that so many people will feel lost throughout their life from this lack of understanding.
THIS
👏
YES!!! That’s truth.
Yes. True fulfillment can only come from God.
❤❤
I am so grateful for Matt and Abby's channel, they know when to have fun and when to keep it real! I think they are great role models online compared to most influencers
I have felt the same as him and these are raw feelings, but I bet he has discussed it with his wife. I have exactly what I dreamed of having and some days I feel so empty. I have things that I need to work on with my mental health and my expectations of what happy actually looks like. He is awesome for coming out with this.
Men did this with poetry literally for thousands of years. We read it to this day and call it art. Good for them they are happy in THEIR marriage.
Oh man the song about depression hit deep with me. People who never had it don’t understand how it feels. It’s like eating and eating and never being full. I can imagine that it’s worse when you have a family who need you
What a neat end, friend. Congrats!!
I've learned that we're living in a society where we must act like we're brands. Opening up about mental health issues is not treated in the same light as opening up about cancer.
If you are struggling with your mental health, I suggest that you talk to a therapist instead of opening up to random people (and this might include your family and close friends). The stigma is so real, unfortunately, and it cuts so deep when you're told to stop oversharing in moments of vulnerability. I regret sharing about the darkest parts of my life and I wouldn't recommend anybody to put their dignity on the line in that manner. Well for me, I couldn't bare the stares to a point where I stopped going to church altogether. All the best✨
The song is not stating my kids and wife are not enough, is is saying that he has everything he could ever dream, yet he cannot be happy which is circling around to the begging of the song saying he thinks he’s depressed
35 YO father of 2 here. I've watched Matt and Abby a bit to understand the dynamic, but also can relate to the song lyrics because sometimes that's how I feel.
Matt is feeling that HE is not enough for his own satisfaction. It's not Abby or the boys, it's his own mental state that is causing him to feel the lack of joy and success he KNOWS that he should be feeling with his life. He's trying to find where his joy for his self has gone. That's nothing but only he can find and relight.
He needs a real job only for this reason.
I believe that this raw content helps to normalize struggles. So I feel thankful to them for sharing not only their highs but lows as well
I tend to be too open myself. So I feel like I kind of get it. And while it might not come off palatable to everyone, I do think for a very analytical person, it could be quite refreshing to hear someone share about some of these realities that often go unspoken.it’s a flavor and it might not be for every day, but I think it really could be a gift and a blessing to some people to remember that even the people who look perfect on the outside still deal with their ups and downs.
“You’re not enough and that’s okay”.. great book. As someone who’s been married almost 17 years, three kids, multiple moves and family in ministry… men struggle.
Why people need validation from strangers online is absurd!
Welcome to big tech era
That song sounds like depression. Its real that your life can be paoer perfect but depression can hit anyone at anytime. I think the lyrics are totally real for too many people
We need to be taught others aren’t responsible for our happiness, however I think we all intuit how life circumstances affect depression and make assumptions
I have been watching them for a couple of years. They have such an amazing relationship and they have their own type of humor. Abby has talked so many times about how much he loves her and makes her feel beautiful and loved. They are middle school sweethearts so their marriage is a lot more mature than the internet is used to. He was being honest with her in his music. They are lyrics that are written in the moment not how he feels all the time. Depression kills men a lot more than women and I am proud of him for making this song💛
I’m reminded of the Peterson/Walsh conversation recently. “The over concern with the self is indistinguishable from misery.” Influencers are in the business of focusing and promoting themselves. On top of this he is trying to dig deep to write music now which is surely making it worse. It doesn’t even have to mean he is a selfish person, he is just engaging in a life that makes him less grateful and more depressed that he could otherwise be.
Totally. No one is 100% happy, 100% of the time. It's about being grateful and thinking about more than just yourself, not trying to analyze every single feeling you have. I once heard a mom say, "I used to struggle with depression, but then I had kids. I don't have time to be depressed haha."
Well said 👏
Where can I find this video?
Ive been watching them for years. They are the most normal, loving couple i know. People just have too much time on their hands so they find something to fight about online.
As a wife with young kids I gotta say, I am not offended by any of this. Sometimes it’s not about me or the kids if my husband is sad… and vice versa. So annoying how everyone makes everything about themselves these days. ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!
“We’re so traditional”
*posts everything on tik tok
My husband says things like this and it is very very heartbreaking. It's impossible to not take it personally. I can't imagine writing a SONG and showing your wife on the INTERNET
His depression has nothing to do with her, or the kids.
My husband used to say things like this as well. He was very unhappy at work and it caused him to become depressed. I didn’t realize, so I took it personally.
I love my family & life but its not enough he needs something for himself which is the music & this was his way of working them feelings out !
"I had everything I wanted and it was still not enough" is usually what we hear right before people find the Lord.