/REUPLOAD\ The note you are about to read is very long, but please read it all, this is very important. I will start with some technical points: - I'll delete any comment that tries to justify those abusive behaviors (might be even stricter if this is about Suho or Sunoh as I'm just tired of debating with people who are just here for theirs ships). I invite you to watch my video about Victim blaming to understand why you shouldn't make this kind of comment. - I had to change the music and reupload this video for copyrights reasons. The original one is on Instagram : instagram.com/p/COTO-bfCERh/ (@marietb_) 1- All the drama names are in the description (as well as the software, music and coloring) 2 - You can turn on the subtitles so you can read the notes I've added throughout the video's progress. They are meant to explain the evolution of the video so that you can understand why each step is important. 3- There are indeed stages in the video, we go from simple jealousy that is shown as cute, to violence on objects (phones etc) to the victimization of the assailant, to the blaming on the victim before getting to the physical violence. 4- The video is short, it could have been a minute longer. But as it is the first time I deal with this subject I wanted to remain synthetic. Maybe if you are interested in the subject I will make a longer one. 5- The video shows the man as the assailant and the woman as the victim. This is a personal choice. I could have added female assailants and male victims since that happens too. But since I judged that in terms of statistics and the content I had in hand, the woman was more often the victim, I made this choice. But in the future, I could totally do a video that deals with the other case. 6- Here is a link to a video that helped me a lot and that is much more explanatory than mine, so don't hesitate to watch it : ua-cam.com/video/v3mFWU352L4/v-deo.html 7 - What I wanted to show is: jealousy and possessiveness is not cute, it can be an excuse for manipulation and control. The non-respect of consent and violence is never justified. Insults, pressure, humiliation, blame, is violence. And mental violence can lead to physical violence. 8 - On the entire video, there is only a few shows where the toxic relationship is explicit (It’s okay to not be okay and Age of youth for example). For the rest, these are all couples and ships that are portrayed as normal and romantic. I also recommend you to read the book "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. Here are some quotes : "Abusiveness can be thought of as a recipe that involves a consistent set of ingredients: control, entitlement, disrespect, excuses, and justifications (including victim blaming)-elements that are always present, often accompanied by physical intimidation or violence." " Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out? Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you? Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did? Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you? Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you? Has he ever threatened to hurt you? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been. " " One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser." " In reality, abuse springs from a man’s early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences. In other words, abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology. " First, why am I so radical about jealousy? Because I consider that there is nothing good in it. As the quote at the end of the video says, I consider jealousy to be more of a self-esteem issue than a love issue. And I speak as someone who is jealous in love and friendship. It's an emotion that you can' t control and that comes from the fear of being abandoned because you lack self-confidence. But for me, one person's jealousy should never hurt another person. Just because you don't have self-confidence doesn't mean you should blame the other person. Anger is a mixture of sadness and frustration. We are angry when something hurts us and we deny it or refuse it, so we turn it into anger. The danger of not knowing your emotions and what they mean, as with jealousy and anger, is that you risk hurting others and yourself. The problem with jealousy is that, because of your lack of self-confidence, you feel threatened and weakened, but you deny this pain and turn it into anger. Except that anger is dangerous, especially when we don't understand it and we blame the other person. The mistake is to blame the other person when you are the problem. This is what can happen in a toxic relationship, this is what can happen any time. - About not respecting consent, I could make an entire video of a kiss given without the person's consent. Please, I don't want to hear "she didn't say no" "she didn't stop it" "she agreed afterwards". I think these kinds of thoughts are very grave and I could write a 20-page essay on how bad it is, but that's not what this video is about. But I'll surely do that if I make a video with BL because I consider the lack of consent very serious in it. Then, why do I insist on the progression of the video? Because in a toxic relationship you don't jump from nothing to everything, from a 'normal' relationship to a toxic relationship. The transition is gradual. That's why some of the extracts I've included may seem ridiculous to you, you may think "she's exaggerating, there's nothing toxic about it". But, if a passage is in this video, it means that it contains something dangerous, even if it is not yet directly physical violence. For example, grabbing women by the arm and pulling them without asking their opinion is an act of disrespect of consent and a form of domination. Forcing someone to stop seeing someone out of jealousy is a form of manipulation. I could go on and on like this. Instead, I'll be honest with you even though I'm a little scared of it: I was in a relationship like this for a year and a half. I was 16 at the time, he was funny, handsome, caring. When he started to forbid me things out of jealousy, I didn't question it. When he broke things and cried and said he was afraid of losing me, I told myself it was because he loved me. That's why this subject is sensitive and important to me, that's why I might be radical if you come and tell me that jealousy is not toxic. That's why the scenes I see in kdramas drive me crazy. This normalization of domination, jealousy, control, mental violence, blackmail, physical violence is very dangerous. The jealousy crises turned into a joke, the scenes of non-respect of the consent turned into romantic scenes with slow motion and a nice music in the background. It is dangerous, it is not nothing, it is not an exaggeration to say that it is serious. There are people who are likely to find themselves in situations like this and who may never realize it "because it's normal" "because it's not his fault". You don't change someone like that, it's not your job. Someone who can't express their emotions and turns them into anger is a dangerous person. A man who turns his frustration, fear and suffering into anger and violence is a dangerous person. I beg you, don't make the same mistake I did, trying to convince yourself that his actions are justified, that it's not his fault, that he had a hard life, or that you had it coming, that it's your fault. It's not your fault. I insist, it's not your fault. No matter what he makes you believe, no matter what he puts in your head, it is not your fault. Overall, I've been talking about the case of a narcissistic pervert, but be aware that the line between narcissistic pervert and toxic masculinity can be very thin. But remember this: jealousy and possessiveness is not cute, it can be an excuse for manipulation and control. The non-respect of consent and violence is never justified. Insults, pressure, humiliation, blame, is violence. And moral violence can lead to physical violence. Hope you’ve liked the video anyway. Don’t hesitate to share the link! Thanks for reading all this and for watching. _____________________________________________________ Please support my work here : ko-fi.com/marietb - or here : www.paypal.com/pools/c/8r78OHJRRR
I'm so so sorry that you had to go through all that! No one should ever have to go through something like that. I saw my mom be abused by my dad growing up. So I told myself I would never be with a guy like that. Thankfully...I have an amazing husband & 3 beautiful & wonderful kids ❤ I am so glad you was able to get away from your abuser. For some....I know they don't get away in time.... & its absolutely heartbreaking... 💔
@@dede0729 They have it in the description, scroll down and you’ll find it. I don’t want to tell you directly, because often that leads to copyright of people’s work.
The fact that lead characters are always aggressive and violent and second lead characters are the perfect example of how a person should be,,,yet in the end lead one comes together... I still don't know why we are still watching movies and dramas like these... It's not just about Korean entertainment industry it's about literally every industry
@@steffylitchannel4313 But the jealousy is kinda in every kdrama...? Sometimes more, sometimes less, but it's there... Well, I think recently kdramas have evolved a lot, so I hope for the better :)
@@steffylitchannel4313 it depends on the scene (in Crash landing on you) . There were a scene when they are in south korea that is kind of okay (and I'm pretty radical about jealousy but I think his way of showing it was okay because he didn't impose it). But there is some others scene when they're in North Korea (in the elevator for exemple) that I don't like and that are not really okay, I think.
The main male leads are always aggressive and I hate when they force kiss the girls, I have rage quit so many dramas because of this reason. People started romanticizing toxic behaviors and it's honestly disgusting. There is a K-drama I was watching (I forgot the name) but her husband literally faked her having cancer just so she would marry him, but she continued being with him when she found out... like huh? why?
But I think even in reality it is hard to break up even tho of toxic behavior of your partner... We are just afraid and we've already put so much work in the relationship...
i won't say suho is favoured in true beauty. people mostly like seojoon. but in love alarm, it's so disturbing how people were so mad that jojo chose the other guy. which was literally most healthy relationship ever. when the 1st lead was so manipulative and had victim complex. i think that was because of his visuals mostly. :) i literally can't understand how visually appealing people can get away with anything
@@falhasc0me suho still had a lot of fans for some reason and I get it he was played by one of the most attractive person ever but still his personality stank and was boring the whole time. But yeah i completely agree with love alarm
@@nadiaosman9603 Hey, please don't judge me but I don't see Suho as a toxic character and I didn't know the webtoon nor the actor before (I'm not biased therefore). Would you mind explaining?
I'm glad you put Suho from True Beauty. But of course his role was played by one of the most handsome and attractive man so many people was on Suho's side. In fact, I had no problem against the actor who portrayed him. The fact that Suho was very controlling and possessive to Ju Kyung even before they started dating is a big Red Flag. Many people say that because he had a troubled family and I totally understand that and felt bad for him but Kdrama writers seriously need to stop using the troop " broken family or past trauma" just as an excuse to make the male lead be rude and abusive to the female leads. He also visited her work place, making her uncomfortable and demand her to quit her job just because she was working with his best friend. I understand that he lost his best friend and he blamed himself for that but instead of telling her that he wasn't ready for a relationship because his past still traumatised him he cut her off whenever he felt bad about himself and used that as an excuse to hurt her feelings but gets jealous every time Seojun (his best friend) approach her.
@@SudhaSingh-rc9ed Yeah people always say « omg Suho is toxic I like Seo Jun » but like... he wasn’t that better either? Like he basically harassed her at some point.
@@rose-nn3wj Please don't start this debate. A lot of people already talked about it (under my other video mostly because I included Seojun in it). They both had abusive behaviors and don't try to compare them to minimize one or the other
I get confused when a lot of people prefer Eun Dan Oh to end up with Baek Kyung. He is so toxic, abusive even when he's in the shadow. Haru is much better than BK, and he knows how to care, respect Dan Oh
me too, its so weird to me that people want that when from the very first ep we clearly saw how much pain he has caused her. even when he became aware himself he still continued being a jerk. If I remember correctly he was the one who removed her oxygen mask that caused her to die in the shadow. He did it knowingly that she would lose her awareness. And people still preferred him over haru who's always been so loving & caring to her, he only wanted to make her happy. While baekyuung wanted her no matter what it costs & constantly belittled her existence saying she exists only to be his fiance. This is so messed up
@@Sara-ud5mt No, BK removed her oxygen mask because if she dies in shadow, she can still live again. Otherwise, she dies in the stage, she’ll disappear. But in my opinion, he’s still too toxic for Dan Oh. She really should end up with Haru
Haru is such a sweetheart many people say he was so boring , most of my friends favor baek kyung , but dude i want a boyfriend like haru and gu chan song from hotel del luna , i seriously dislike the cliché " jealousy " behavior .
Forced kiss , bf asking girls to dress that covers their whole body , practically like a nun , asking them to quit jobs because they dont like associating you with someone, asking them to not laugh with other guys because they dont want others to see your pretty smile etc etc etc.. somethings that i loved in my teenage years to now realizing how toxic AF it was , I realized I grew up , and in a good way . I hope others too .
wow growing up watching kdramas i molded this of love from what they showed us which now i can tell it’s toxic . thank God i’m starting to get aware before i settle for something like that.
My ex was like that ,he was very obssesive ,stakling me everywhere ,blackmailing me that he.will kill himself if i ever leave him .but i am very happy i ended that relationship and enjoying my life right now .
Soo true. I really hate these kind of kdramas. I m fed up ….how they portray toxicity as romance or love. This is because now I m binge to crime, thriller , suspense kdramas.
They really think this shit is romantic. I used to too, until I had a boyfriend that actually acted that way. He would check my phone and delete contacts that had male names, threw out my skirts and shorts when I wasn't at home, and even threatened my brother because he thought I spent too much time with another man. MY BROTHER, WHO I LIVE WITH. It was the last thing that made me put my foot down, to be honest. I raised my brother since our parents separated. I draw the line at family. I collected evidence and got a restraining order early last year. Ever since then, I haven't been able to see toxic relationships in K-dramas the same way.
my thoughts exactly. I read true beauty webtoon first and I really liked suho but then when I watched the drama I was like why is he being such a rude ass jerk. The webtoon suho is more of a quiet introvert kind of guy & instead of being cold or rude he is just simply uncomfortable with socializing much that's why he tends to shy away from others but the drama lee suho is a straight up mean, rude & unkind person who behaves with his classmates & friends like they are his servants, always looks down on them. Even when they try to help him cheer up or company him he behaves like such a brat. Does he not have sense? Those people are trying to make u feel better can you at least try to act little more kindly? Most of the audience just rolled with that behavior as "cool guy" "hot shot" and that makes me feel so weird.
Uk i actaully thought since the comic has not ended and the drama was going to end they were going to make an ending with jukyung and seojun since she dated seojun first in the comic and not in the drama and in the drama suhos character was kind of a bitch lol so I didnt like him and actaullt wanted jukyung to be with seojun but that didn't happen😔
I think that people only stan suho in the drama because he was amazing in the webtoon. They don't realize that suho in the drama and webtoon are totally different people
They changed every character's personality like tf they all made everyone dirty here ..my opinion i really liked than seojun in webtoon bt in drama he's like this typical "bad guy"of kdrama like he was more than a ''bad guy'' he just had the fashion style of a ''bad guy'' and suho.. i don't remember him much bt as far as i remember he was the sweetest person
I don't mind when shows portray toxic relationships because it's realistic and may help/make some ppl realise what they are going through, but if it's showed as romantic or glorified, I just can't... How a guy controlling you is romantic? That's why I often have 2nd lead syndrom they are often the nice healthy guys...
Yes and that's why I was so pissed off with the dialogue surrounding Run On. People were saying things like "the ML acts too much like a 2nd lead" or "he's too passive" and "their relationship is boring". Like if being aggressive and rough is what it takes for a relationship to not be boring, call me boring then. The ML always asked for consent before he did anything, respected the FL's personal space & privacy, never pulled, dragged or pushed her, and when they ran into problems they talked it out together. I hate that that's considered boring.
@@jchen8902 Preach! I personally loved their relationship because it was just so mature and healthy, like even if they didn't alway agree or had misunderstandings, it was always resolved because they were both open minded and had a conversation. I didn't know some people found that boring, and it pisses me off because for once we have a show that portrays healthy romance and highlights the importance of communication/honesty. Both had fears and trauma, yet learned to grow thanks to their self awareness and desire to get better/make their relationships work. And the ML was actually really cool for being such a gentle soul, bless him.
So right ! I couldn’t handle at all his crazy possessiveness so I stopped watching it for that reason. I really preferred suho in the webtoon rather than in the drama
My father forced my mom to quit her job because os jealousy.. now he lost his job too, and my mom doesn't have job either. I'm the only one who work in the family.. it's giving me hard time. I wish my father didn't force my mom to quit her job in the first place 😭 Sorry for my bad eng
@@chappyllama4445 your english is good, don't worry ^^ EDIT>>> instead of apologizing for your English (any language), tell people to point out the error in the sentence
@@ladymire If the drama portrays these abusive actions, and the characters do not address the situation or apologise, then the drama is saying that those actions are allowed and good. If the couple, where one was being abusive to the other, lasts till the end of the show, that is the drama's way of saying what happened is okay, because in the end they end up together despite the abuse. That is not okay. There is a scene in a drama, I can't remember the name, where the female lead kisses the male lead without his consent. She later apologises for her actions. This shows that the drama recognises a toxic behaviour and shows the viewers that it is not okay. But, when actions like these are brushed off and shown to be cute with nice music and slow motion (which they often are), it is the indirect way of the drama showing that those actions are excusable. The funny thing is a lot of the time, if the same abusive actions were performed by a male character who isn't going to end up with the female lead, the drama portrays it as unacceptable, as they should. However, when done by the male lead, somehow it is acceptable. The double standard is shocking to say the least.
This is why I HATE Heirs and would never recommend it. The ML is so manipulative and toxic and she just ends up with him... without any real character development on his part. Kim Tae was still an abusive brat by the end, he just got his way. I also hate drama Suho for what they did to his character, he used to be my favorite.😩
@Bea Live Honestly I feel you on heirs . I had to sit down and explain to my brother how Kim tae wasn't anybetter than the 2nd lead male. I couldn't even watch those than 4 episodes before I just was angry the whole time. Not to mention I was so mad after reading the webtoon, only to be disappointedin his characterin the show. I couldn'teven come close to finishing it, without feeling sick. Especially that scene at the mall with the main leads drove me nuts. And I had to stop after the episode of him telling her to quit her job. Suho never even bothered to ask why she got it in the first place.
It was one of the first dramas I watched and at that time I didn't notice anything since I was young but I finished re-watching it last week and I can totally understand it now. Kim tan was literally said to eunsang "love me or get out of my house" i was like ??? and all throughout the show he kept forcing and clinging onto her even when she refused to go out with him, that show is so messed up
@@niki5923 Yeah, he says that but when she actually leaves and says she doesn’t want him to bother her anymore and he still shows up at her house like a creepy stalker. What the heck?!😬
I'm not saying its acceptable but if you really think about it the Heirs without the abuse and stalking there is no story. Yes they treated her like a new toy to be won ni regards for her feelings, she just chose the person who seemed to have less trauma.
I'm amazed of how one single scene, put into the right context, can show it's true colors. Shows tend to disguise toxic behaviour by making it funny and making the viewer see this as something normal...
For some of them it was really impressive actually. Especially the one from Secretary Kim. By erasing the funny sounds, effects and music, the scene just seems creepy. I already thought of taking compilation of moments of jealousy you can find on youtube and just changing the music. That just hits totally different. That's why people need to learn how to take a step back on what they're watching and to not just accept everything without questioning it
@@marietb Yes! I was so impressed with the Secretary Kim scene, boi this us just sad how they normalize everything smh Btw, your videos are AMAZING, i love the edits so far
Ur so right. If u put these scenes with a brighter filter and add a cute romantic song in the background nothing seems wrong. That's why most ppl dont realize how any of this is abusive. When its put in the right context and environment u can really see the true colors of these scenes
Now I know why I never the lee min hos dramas. They roles he played were so abusive. I hated boys over flowers, and I hated the heirs even more. I hated love alarm too. Like the whole kiss w love alarm was so creepy. The ml called her in an alley and kissed her without permission. Like it's not cute bro. It was just creepy. If the guy wasnt good looking then ppl would call it assault, but the ml was good looking so everyone just said it was cute
I didn't know why I always felt unconfortable in the "grab the arm" scenes but I guess it's clear now. And the part where the male character wipe the female character lipstick is just SO passive aggressive and possessive. Like yeah i know that the entire video's awful but the subtle abuse always feel too close to home for me... yikes
The wiping the lipstick was a red flag for me i was going to watch that drama today and opened 1st episode and was watching it.Then the last scene came and i was like wtf .To be honest rowoon looked like a creep and previously he did follow the main girl around to look where she is going so i was like hell no and give up watching
@@tatianaalejandrapineda6408 im not defending this behavior , i meant that this is a high school romance teens romanticize these kind of relationships thinking it's an act of jealousy . So yeah
I honestly didn't realize the toxicity in "true beauty", I did for "fight in my way" I wanted her to go with that dress skirt she had on, but no she went to go change cuz the "male alpha lead" told her to. This is hecking bad its being romantized in almost every drama
@@zainabriizwan yes, I think fight for my way had a lot of warning signs of abuse. I could make an entire video on it (and on Boys over flowers, which is the perfect example of an abusive relationship)
@@marietb please do. I especially hate the sequences in Fight For My Way. Even the other couple, Seol hee and Joo man shared such a toxic relationship and he went on to accuse her of being a tease, like tf dude who are you kidding? And Seol? She willingly accepted all that. And I don't even want to get started on the main couple. And wait, there's more... That Moobin, what was he? Idk. And lastly, her mom and both of their dads? In a sequence, both of them went to her apartment and for what? Aaaand her half brother? He saod something along the lines of, ''you're are interesting to me'', to Ae ra. (feel free to correct me if interpreted something wrong)
I was in a toxic relationship before too I had a boyfriend who would literally *NEVER* allow me to talk with any boys and in some cases he won't even allow me to talk with my own girl best friends. He was way too possessive everytime I would just greet a boy he would accuse me of ‘cheating’ I was actually pretty naive back then I had the stupid mentality that "jealousy and being possessive = loving you". I was in a relationship with him for 3 whole years I wanted to break up with him long time back but he would never allow me to breakup with him he was literally like controlling my fuckin life and I slowly realized that all these time I've been living in a toxic relationship.. Before breaking up with him I asked my 'friends' what would be the right decision and they were all like hOw cAn yOu lEavE hiM ? jEaloUsy mEanS lOve and I told them that accusing your gf for cheating 24/7 just cause she talked with someone doesn't mean it's a way to show affection And yus im finally out of the toxic relationship and pretty happy with life heheheheh have a great day I appreciate your hardwork you deserve so much appreciation!! 🌙
sometimes friends and family are actually helping the abuser by justifying or ignoring the abuse. That's why I make so many videos like this, it's important to be aware of the warning signs of abuse to avoid a toxic relationships but also to recognize it. Someone who ignore abuse is basically the abuser's accomplice. That's what your friends did. I hope your friends have changed or that you have changed of friends. That's the kind of thing I would never forgive or at least I would have a hard time to do so..
@@marietb yah saii baat h thoda bht hona alg baat h hadd se jadaa hona ya jo hume theek na lge wso itta glt bhii ni hota h agr pyaar ho hume lkin firr bhi kisi ko acha nii lgta h jb tk sukoon na mile aur jsa hum krna chahe wsa bhii krna de wo ii h sccha pyaar...
The most important thing is to learn from these types of shows to stop normalizing these toxic antitudes the dramas are beautiful, but we must also admit that they Normalize Very toxic attitudes 🤷🏻♀️ Excellent video🙏🏻
The truth is there are some dramas with scenes that are obviously abusive and controlling but with the sweet ost playing in the back it made it look like it was cute:/
I feel like we also need to give people the benifit of the doubt here. If you're modelling your love life after any fictional series or charater then you need to do some serious reflection. I don't quite like the argument that people are stupid and think that this is how it is.
I personally didn't see Suho in True Beauty as "abusive"....but I can totally understand where you was coming from with that!!! About how it starts out with trying to control what they do....who they see....who they hang out with....where they go........then yes...it can eventually turn into more violent stuff
@@tatianaalejandrapineda6408 I was just giving my personal opinion. Me myself....while watching True Beauty....I never thought of Suho being "abusive". But I can definitely see what Marie was getting at. Cause that is how it all starts. Just trying to be controlling....then it can turn violent.
The main guy from love alarm was so toxic, I love the actor for him but the fictional character he played irked me a lot. I was actually pretty happy that love alarm decided to pair the main girl with the second male lead who treated her nicely and gave her room to recover from trauma and learn to open up to people again which is something the other guy didnt give to her.
At The Penthouse, Suryeon loved and respected Dan Tae's side which was always kind and gentle to her. But when she found out what a toxic and terrible personality he have, she left him. At Extraordinary you and Love alarm, Dan Oh and Jojo finally made the right choice.
I don't think so even after finding out her power two ml lead were always controlling her and saying that it's dangerous for her to catch the serial kidnapper.
@@seema9051 she was strong but they knew killer can kill in many ways which she won't be able to protect herself example weapons in any way she won't be able to service from these and she knew it too
I honestly disliked both Suho and Seojun. Seojun bullied her in the begining and decided to change when he saw that jukyeong was helping out his sister. Suho seemed nice in the begining but ended up being super possessive and annoying. I dropped the drama. I wanted Jukyeong to have more choices honestly .
Please.. this didnt happen in the novel. Noone bullied jukyeong in her class only that girl with black hair did. Suho met her in a store and immediately noticed who she is and teased her. He didnt even bully her he said that hes not the type of person that will black mail her and so that happened and seojun always tried his best to get along with juheong in the comic and he felt embarrassed for some reason when he sees her or something but idk why the writter made them like this. And fyi seojun is jukheong's first boyfriendand suho never really had the chance to be possesive because he felt like jukheong doesnt like him until he left for the states for his father. Where the hell gone wrong in the writting.
@@mintycokies8057 I know I have read the webtoon. I know that the webtoon was different compared to the drama. But this edit is about the drama and I am also refering to the drama. I wonder why they changed the characters like that. Generally people change stories for the better. But this time they made it worse by changing it.
@@shyamopriyamoitra1474 i’m sorry but seojun never bullied ju kyung, he acted like that cause she took his helmet. pls don’t bring seojun to the “toxic guys” cause he never was in the first place
@@user-up8vy6le9y Nope I watched the drama and he was toxic . He tried to play all the "I will only listen to you prank " in the begining cause he wanted to get back at suho. He wanted to "take away" Jukyeong from Suho or whatever. Then he actually started liking her and realised that he has messed up. He apologised which was nice. But he didn't really stop coming in between Suho and Jukyeong. He was like I like her so now I will come in between 2 people who like each other. Basically no one really cared about Jukyeong's thoughts . Jukyeong liked Suho but Seojun was like nahhh I am going to do what I want. Suho was like omg she is roaming around with seojun so I can't trust her. Even though she clearly stated that she liked him. Then at the end they did the waiting thing which made everyone feel pity for seojun cause he waits like a year but jukyeong goes back to Suho. That was stupid too ( from the point of view of the story)
I personally think that Seojun becomes a significantly better person in the end. He wasn't the best at the beginning but as the series progresses he becomes more considerate of the feelings of others. I think he knew Jukyeong had a crush on Suho but he didn't realise how much she actually liked him/he was in denial (bc who would want to believe the person they're in love with loves someone else?) When he sees Jukyeong actually in pain and she confesses that she likes Suho, we see that he does really care about her feelings & that's when he realises he should just be there for her as a friend (not actually trying to get between her and Suho anymore). Jukyeong wasn't the greatest character as well - she wasn't the greatest friend to Seojun and didn't think about how he was dealing with the death of his friend. He tried his best to make her happy when she was sad but when he got hurt she didn't think about him or ask about him. He also stood up for her several times without her even knowing. The waiting made sense because a broken heart takes a long time to heal for some (and because Seojun is considerate of Jukyeong's feelings, he wanted to just stay as a supporting friend for her after her breakup) - he probably didn't think it was the right time to tell her how he felt until more time had passed. He was so considerate of the feelings of both Jukyeong and Suho that he literally just pushed his feelings aside and let them have the chance to be together. I think that makes him a great friend. He was a little cold at the beginning but I personally think he became the real 'true beauty' at the end. I also wouldn't call him a 'bully' like he didn't really try to harm her emotionally in any way (there's a clear difference between how Jukyeong feels being actually bullied by the girls from her old school and being spoken to/lightly teased by Seojun at the beginning). He's the perfect example of good emotional growth from adolescence to adulthood.
After watching this, I realized even more that most romance in K-dramas aren't that healthy. It's viewed as fine, cute, and even "goals", but it's not as beautiful as it should be. 😟
@@Julie-nu3yo The only male lead I actually like is probably Park hyung sik (forgot the Character name) from Strong woman do bong soon .He wasn't cold towards the female lead or anyone and was kind even though he was rich.
They’re fictional stories. You shouldn’t be idolizing them in the first place. If you do, then that’s on you. Not the creator or the sane audience who knows the difference from fiction and reality.
I like how you chose the scenes which are considered kdrama relationship goals which make us all feel like why don't we have men who are jealous for us.. Like the famous hand grabbing, ML losing his shit seeing FL with a guy(shown in a funny way), forced kiss etc.
the "dragging her away by her hand" scenes are just so common in series that people have stopped seeing them as problematic. i literally had to search "k-drama with strong female leads" to see some good content
Also we need more people talking about emotional/verbal abuse bc most people still don't see it as abuse or don't understand it or even worse compare it to physical abuse (as less damaging). The minimising and victime blaming is huge when it comes to these types of abuse
Made a video about it! I'm trying my best to show people abuse is not only about physical abuse but this is kind of complicated, a lot of people don't seem to understand. It's really difficult to explain it in a video..
This is a really good fmv that highlights such an important topic in Korean dramas. Both this song and 911 by Elise(that was the song that was used with this video before it was taken down and had to be re-uploaded) suits it very well
If you guys just finished a drama that romanticized a toxic relationship, I would recommend Run On if you want to refresh your eyes and brain with a healthy and wholesome relationship :>
I found boys over flowers the worst of all. The toxicity of the male lead forced me to drop the drama midway(in fact till the 7 ep itself). Like each and every approach of his to the female lead was literally so freaking toxic like wtf?? And people out there calling the drama evergreen, perfect, and blah blah irks me so bad till date.
When I was adolescence, those were attractive dramas what I liked and I imagined that my boyfriend would do same thing to me like in dramas. But now, I've spent almost 4 years for healing myself which contaminated by emotional abusive from my ex. It's really hurt and it can contagious to other people. So, I'm still in treatment to forgive myself. It similar with those dramas and what the video is showing. I hope you'll never feel what I feel and never get someone tell you but he didn't, it's actually abusive for you. Thank you for your sharing and love yourself all.
And I'm seek of people excusing behaviors in the name of love. Love is never an excuse and so many people stay bc of this "but he still loves me". It's not about love. Plus we all have different definitions of love. And love isn't the only thing required to be in a relationships with someone (for ex respect, and emotional safety..)
The exact opposite of love is abuse. Love is about respect when abuse is all about disrespect. They're sometimes confused, really often, when it's a dangerous thing to do so
That drama, Boys Over Flowers, the main character was a walking red flag for me. The way he manipulated her, controlled her and presented his dominance over her was not it for me. And the fact that these types of dramas are so common and glamorized really concerns me…
Could I just say thank you for putting "Extraordinary you," I hated the childhood friend. He was so evil, cruel, and manipulative. It sicken me how her having a heart condition, he would directly break her heart, causing her heart monitor to alarm her heart, and he would not care and walk of. Seriously his behavior is trash, and I am shock there a fandom that romanticizes his behavior. It sick, toxic, and I am glad she fought back not to be with him, and be her own person and be with Haru the man who loves her and respect her.
Very insightful !! Plus, in a lot of dramas, the girl looks disgusted by the kiss so I can't never see the scene as romantic nor understand how people can call it cute. Honestly, if these male leads were very ugly, people would see this differently, pretty privilege is real guys! Anyway, consent is sexy. Hope to see some improvement in new kdramas
What I hate about True beauty the drama is that they made the female lead dumb and dependent on the most toxic male leads, and what's worse is that this drama is aimed to young teenage girls, through this they're telling them that this is what they should expect in relationships
One of the kdrama i hated the most was Drinking Solo because of how badly and rudely the guy treated the girl but it took me so long to realize that many dramas actually have the “main lead being rude to the girl and she falls for him” trope. Seeing so many other dramas where the girl is mistreated like tht and it’s considered romantic is honestly just so disappointing. Its kinda weird how knetz and other ppl too have a problem with history distortion but not with male toxicity prevalent in so many dramas.
I really appreciate this video and the effort you put in it. Could you do a video about „vanilla and coffee“? It‘s not a kdrama but I think it‘s really messed up. Also I can‘t turn on subtitles... I‘ve already seen the original video, but is this a general problem or is it just my account?
When I watched these scenes where male leads were abusive, I never noticed how toxic those relationships were. I always rooted for them since I thought they looked cute together and knew they would be the final couple. After my break of watching kdramas, I noticed how so many male leads get away with abusive behaviors because of trauma when really many female leads had trauma too, yet they were also ignored. Heck, I don't think I can even remember a kdrama without any toxic behavior from either the male or the female lead. It's so sad how these type of behaviors are so normalized, even in western media.
Wow... I honestly used to ship Jukyung with Suho before because I knew they would be the final couple (since everything led to it), and when I saw those scenes where stalked her, knew exactly where she was, and knew exactly who she was talking with, my blood literally boiled. I felt mad that Suho was doing such things, and was finally glad that he changed but at the end, I still felt bad for shipping knowing how toxic it was at a certain point :/
I'm glad you put "The Heirs" in the video. People always say it's super cute and romantic but I hated the drama inter alter because Lee Min Ho's character was just a toxic boyfriend, manipulative, demanding, controlling.
If yall think Bae Kyung with Dan Oh should have been together instead of Haru, I need you to educate yourself. Like how in the world?! He kept harrasing her, making fun of her life threatening disease(esp when his mom too had this kind of disease) victim blaming her, yelling at her, forcing her to be with him, breaking her things, criticizing her choices, becoming violent towards her and Haru and much more. His father hitting him doesn't excuse him taking it out on others. Even if he had feelings for Dan Oh, his toxic and violent behavior towards her throughout the drama is scary. At one point I thought he'd actually hit her. On the other hand, Haru was respectful, I'm not saying he is great cuz that is bare minimum but yall found him boring for asking consent and treating her with respect. The drama called out the "male lead's obsessive behaviour" so if they decided to let Dan Oh be with Bae Kyung, it would be pretty cheap and hypocritical of them.
Thank you for uploading this again💖 this song has a dark vibe and suits the vid perfectly! Now this is gonna be a long one so be prepared people. Its high time people start to realize this is not romance. Or as some people defend it as us being "too sensitive" and this being "passive aggression". Sweetie, wake up. Dont settle for people like these just cause you like them "broken" and you think you can "fix them". "Not everyone is perfect and they just need love" i get your points. But i never asked for perfection. A person can have flaws and still know how to treat you like a human being. People defending them is such an insult to all the victims out there. I was in a toxic relationship too so i know how hard it gets. Imagine you feel trapped and when you talk about it people call you delusional and overthinker. I ended it after five months. I was scared but not enough to let it carry on. And never dated a guy for four years. A five months relationship gave me such trauma. I focused on healing and got better and finally found the courage to date my current boyfriend. Im lucky to have him now, a sweet and gentle person who is not perfect but treats me with utmost respect and love. I still get scared but i am better cause i have some amazing people by my side. But not everyone has the same story as me. There are so many people out there in such relationship with no hope of getting out. There is hope, it may be small but it certainly is there. So dont ignore the gut feeling. If you think its not okay and uncomfortable then it is not! Dont let others decide your relationship. They are not the people who felt it. It was YOU who felt it. Go with your gut feeling like i did.
I really appreciate the fact you are delivering this message out in the open through your edits✨....people really need to know their boundaries now a days
vincenzo, strong girl do bong-soon and crash landing on you are literally some of the only dramas where i feel like there was no toxicity. especially vincenzo, even though there was less romance in the drama, i felt so proud knowing that vincenzo never used his physical strength on her or ever tried to man-handle his way. these three dramas are one of the best dramas i have watched till this day in honesty! also, thank you so much for making this video!!
bruh I literally dropped BOF bcs.......we all know Still it's so famous like dude...the ML literally hits the FL WTF...how can anyone be fine with that and I also dropped "heirs" and "cheese in the trap" is like..the ML is literally a creepy stalker.. There are really some problem with some korean dramas, trust me I am a sucker for Kdrama but the way they sometimes normalize the toxicity is just frustrating . And now that I think about it the jealousy and controlling concept is in almost every drama, NGL sometimes when it's in boundaries the jealousy is cute (like in CLOY when se-ri showed hand hearts to everyone) but some of the time out of jealousy, the male lead becomes an asshole (sorry for the cuss but like the scene where ML goes- "She is mine"..etc) like bro di you buy her from amazon or what and the FL just shrugs it off afterwards. and "Love in sadness" is not a bad drama instead it shows the signs of control, abuse etc. it is good, the one who abuse is actually the villain and ML is the saviour and then "Age of youth" also shows the toxicity of that. It is indeed a sad truth that the audience is actually somewhat fond of some of the toxic behaviour and defends it by regarding it as cute or love. Also sometimes I feel as if jealousy also indicates the lack of trust in a relationship bcs if you trust your significant other then you know that there is no need for jealousy bcs they trust and love you. I may be a bit sick sometimes. But I guess even the die-hard fans can also agree that some of the kdrama stereotypes are plain toxic and it is getting normalised when it shouldn't. I am not saying that the kdramas are bad or something, I am also a big fan of them. But sometimes some dramas behaviour even if it is in the character or even if the concept or storyline is like that, It is still toxic and we should not really take it as normal. Oh and another one normalised stereotype in kdrama is non-consent things like touch, hugs even kisses etc. No matter how they look or no matter how dreamy/ romantic it is you think (if you are a an asshole like me). But bruh FL did not give you the consent. Like to hell even if you are the ML but there is something called consent and you should respect it. If someone (doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl or any unique people out there) says that You can't touch them that means YOU CAN'T TOUCH THEM no matter who you are or your status even if you are their parents, husband, wife or boyfriend/girlfriend, bestfriend. Tt does not matter who you are because when they said no it means NO. Ik we ar e on to kdramas here but some of japanese dramas also have these. And THAI dramas....no drama or show can surpass the limit of toxicity of that I mean- non-con, jealousy, forced relationship even rape are kinda like normalised in some of them. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING WHEN THE ML RAPED THE FL YET THEY END UP TOGETHER LIKE WHY?! And even if I had a rant just now.....as i said My fucking sick side low-key likes the toxicity and I know it is not healthy but- I can't help when that side comes out...sometimes I do feel like I am really sick and a bitch for low-key liking this shit but I rePEAT DON'T FUCKIN BE LIKE ME. I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON. 0_0 If you are this far you probably read my whole paragraph of a rant and if you are offended by this feel free to ignore it. and thanks for taking the time to read. Just a daily reminder- YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL/ HANDSOME AND PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
@Marie TB [유토피아] you should also add legend of the blue sea when lee min ho threats not to Wear skirt above knee to jun jihyun. That seen really pissed me off. and congratulations for overcoming from your toxic relationship.
Damn ..!! I fantasised these kind of guys until I fell in love with one.. the breaking things , shouting , forcing without consent was traumatising as fuck.. he did say he loved me too much but he literally became obsessed with me and wouldn’t let me talk or be friends with a Single guy. M glad I got out of it😿
To be honest... I literally stopped watching boys over flowers (BOF)and didn't even watched love alarm season 2 because of this... It was very much frustrating to watch those male leads dominating the females... Though it's not only about BOF... the Manga.. As well as the anime... And all the other adaptations were really a pain in the ***🙄... As for the heirs... Lee min ho 's character was really bothersome. .. Due to his immaturity 😒
Immaturity is an excuse they use a lot in Kdrama to justify abusive behaviors (for exemple Fight for my way), as for the funny purposes. I think immaturity is not an excuse and I hope they can stop using it as such..
I'm shocked by the video, but it represents what I can no longer bear to see in dramas. Among all the dramas on the list I think BOF is the most toxic relationship I've ever seen. There are moments that I hope for the proganist to be alone in the end, it's better to be alone than in with such abusive couple. I hope they stop romanticizing abusive relationships.
Yes it's true though we all laughed at some of the scenes somewhere litteraly out of control from my pov boys over flowers was the worst in this case tbh though I liked the love story I totally hated the character of Gu Jun pyo. Also am happy that these days the characters of male leads are changing they are shown soft and understanding for example (happiness, link, hotel Del Luna, extraordinary attorney woo , Yumi's cells and many more ) Btw no hate as you can understand that I am a total kdrama fan and I loved all the dramas but some things are surely not right .
Finally found a video that actually shows the truth most of the time we find it cute the way they get angry but we never realized the toxic things in it
I watched a Kdrama (Secret Garden) years ago and I loved it so much but when I watch it again, like 5 a years after that, I realised that scenes which were showed as "romantic", showed a really abusive bahavior. It's crasy that when you're young, we not always have that critics eye and it's dangerous.
I'm watching uncontrollably fond and it's *trash* The guy was abusing the female lead and being possessive I feel uncomfortable watching it I don't get why people loved this drama😤 I'm so disappointed I hope it could get interesting by the end😣 Can someone please tell me to stop watching cuz it's not worth it😧
I didn't watch it but while editing this video I downloaded some episodes and I was really shocked all the time. It's one of the drama that shocked me the most. Here is my list of favorite dramas if you want to watch other dramas : mydramalist.com/list/D45Xroo3
I remember watching the first episode of love alarm and I saw the first dude kiss her forcefully and I couldn’t watch the rest. It felt wrong, and obviously I won’t blame the actors but it felt like they were trying to normal harassment. They were romanticizing it. And Ik that’s not how she fell for him but still it was romanticized and I didn’t like it...
Finally someone included 'True Beauty' in one of the toxic relationship! The character Suho was hella toxic, he literally made her slave! And that cold behaviours towards her😑I dunno who started this misconception that if u r cold towards a girl, she will fall for you? This writer should be given a slap, he changed the whole webtoon character🙄 The only thing I liked about this drama was the side story of those trio's friendship, and that of their friends mysterious death!❤
Okay..In moon lovers there is a scene when IU says that she is in love with other guy but wang so says that as long as it is not Baek ah (his only favourite brother) I don't care..like dude??😮 This was one of my fav couples and kdrama but after watching this video I realized it😣
I'm so glad this got recommended to me and I decided to watch it. i mean, the way you progress from the 'mild' signs to the severe ones is just phenomenal. Thank you for this
Am i toxic 😀 Or 😅 That's a really warm relationship for me. And i don't know why the girl always should pretend she's a sad princess??😅 In real life ...yeah it's toxic But in k dramas That's what i want to see
I am happy that there still are many mature people telling their opinion in comments at first i thought i was the only one who thought that these are symptoms of toxic relationship the thing is there are many young people (like teenagers or kids like 12-13 i am 12½ btw) i haven't watched all episodes of true beauty but i find boys over flowers really toxic and possesive still that drama is in all time fav list 🤷♀️ and whenever male lead kiss female lead forcefully the directors most of the time put romantic songs so that audience got to know that yea this is a romantic situation sometimes some dramas cross the limit
boys over flowers is SOO TOXIC like the male lead was so aggressive and toxic , i couldn't even finish the drama because it would get so mad & uncomfortable whenever he would try to force the girl to kiss him. its so sad how dramas make it seem that jealousy and being in a toxic relationship is a good or cute thing when in reality ITS NOT
3:08 I love dongyeons character in my id is gangnam beauty. When eunwoo held mirae's arm, dongyeon stopped eunwoo instead of holding miraes hand without her consent, which is what u unfortunately usually see in kdramas.
Sadly, violence against women is frequently shown in almost all soap operas and dramas around the world. K-dramas are no exception. There is really nothing glamorous about any of this, period.
In Another Miss Oh, the main woman character told to his partner to not to grab her like she’s just an object. But idk why there were a scene where they were physically fighting like pushing each other? Idr but maybe they were both toxic to each other
In others words, I’m so proud of the main female lead of Love Alarm for settling for the man who does not force a kiss or demand an apology. I get it, Song Kang is attractive but why were there so many people rooting for him?
I felt half of the scenes were toxic. But I didn't realize the others are also toxic because they are the lead actors. Only after watching this video I realized. Thanks for making this video
Idk why people choose the second lead in extraordinary you..like he is hella toxic while on the other hand the main lead haru was like a dream boyfriend....if you watch the drama you'll know how perfect and sweet haru's character was...its like the second lead who is caring and respects the female lead..but people still have second lead syndrome in this drama saying its not his fault..like okay but still the fact remains same haru was the perfect character
these shows portray a really wrong image of love, making some guys believe that toxic masculinity is good and many girls to think being submissive and enduring such kind of violent behavior is normal.
![Marie TB [유토피아]](http://yt3.ggpht.com/u1BQ5n5qs0nckgLOzdHrGcLd-45qmyS9B75DkMNckCJO-aeH9XuqHITIpOoMx1uaGOjrur01=s48-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj)
/REUPLOAD\
The note you are about to read is very long, but please read it all, this is very important. I will start with some technical points:
- I'll delete any comment that tries to justify those abusive behaviors (might be even stricter if this is about Suho or Sunoh as I'm just tired of debating with people who are just here for theirs ships). I invite you to watch my video about Victim blaming to understand why you shouldn't make this kind of comment.
- I had to change the music and reupload this video for copyrights reasons. The original one is on Instagram : instagram.com/p/COTO-bfCERh/ (@marietb_)
1- All the drama names are in the description (as well as the software, music and coloring)
2 - You can turn on the subtitles so you can read the notes I've added throughout the video's progress. They are meant to explain the evolution of the video so that you can understand why each step is important.
3- There are indeed stages in the video, we go from simple jealousy that is shown as cute, to violence on objects (phones etc) to the victimization of the assailant, to the blaming on the victim before getting to the physical violence.
4- The video is short, it could have been a minute longer. But as it is the first time I deal with this subject I wanted to remain synthetic. Maybe if you are interested in the subject I will make a longer one.
5- The video shows the man as the assailant and the woman as the victim. This is a personal choice. I could have added female assailants and male victims since that happens too. But since I judged that in terms of statistics and the content I had in hand, the woman was more often the victim, I made this choice. But in the future, I could totally do a video that deals with the other case.
6- Here is a link to a video that helped me a lot and that is much more explanatory than mine, so don't hesitate to watch it : ua-cam.com/video/v3mFWU352L4/v-deo.html
7 - What I wanted to show is: jealousy and possessiveness is not cute, it can be an excuse for manipulation and control. The non-respect of consent and violence is never justified. Insults, pressure, humiliation, blame, is violence. And mental violence can lead to physical violence.
8 - On the entire video, there is only a few shows where the toxic relationship is explicit (It’s okay to not be okay and Age of youth for example). For the rest, these are all couples and ships that are portrayed as normal and romantic.
I also recommend you to read the book "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft.
Here are some quotes :
"Abusiveness can be thought of as a recipe that involves a consistent set of ingredients: control, entitlement, disrespect, excuses, and justifications (including victim blaming)-elements that are always present, often accompanied by physical intimidation or violence."
" Has he ever trapped you in a room and not let you out?
Has he ever raised a fist as if he were going to hit you?
Has he ever thrown an object that hit you or nearly did?
Has he ever held you down or grabbed you to restrain you?
Has he ever shoved, poked, or grabbed you?
Has he ever threatened to hurt you?
If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we can stop wondering whether he’ll ever be violent; he already has been. "
" One of the obstacles to recognizing chronic mistreatment in relationships is that most abusive men simply don’t seem like abusers. They have many good qualities, including times of kindness, warmth, and humor, especially in the early period of a relationship. An abuser’s friends may think the world of him. He may have a successful work life and have no problems with drugs or alcohol. He may simply not fit anyone’s image of a cruel or intimidating person. So when a woman feels her relationship spinning out of control, it is unlikely to occur to her that her partner is an abuser."
" In reality, abuse springs from a man’s early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences. In other words, abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology. "
First, why am I so radical about jealousy? Because I consider that there is nothing good in it. As the quote at the end of the video says, I consider jealousy to be more of a self-esteem issue than a love issue. And I speak as someone who is jealous in love and friendship. It's an emotion that you can' t control and that comes from the fear of being abandoned because you lack self-confidence. But for me, one person's jealousy should never hurt another person. Just because you don't have self-confidence doesn't mean you should blame the other person.
Anger is a mixture of sadness and frustration. We are angry when something hurts us and we deny it or refuse it, so we turn it into anger. The danger of not knowing your emotions and what they mean, as with jealousy and anger, is that you risk hurting others and yourself.
The problem with jealousy is that, because of your lack of self-confidence, you feel threatened and weakened, but you deny this pain and turn it into anger. Except that anger is dangerous, especially when we don't understand it and we blame the other person. The mistake is to blame the other person when you are the problem. This is what can happen in a toxic relationship, this is what can happen any time.
- About not respecting consent, I could make an entire video of a kiss given without the person's consent. Please, I don't want to hear "she didn't say no" "she didn't stop it" "she agreed afterwards". I think these kinds of thoughts are very grave and I could write a 20-page essay on how bad it is, but that's not what this video is about. But I'll surely do that if I make a video with BL because I consider the lack of consent very serious in it.
Then, why do I insist on the progression of the video? Because in a toxic relationship you don't jump from nothing to everything, from a 'normal' relationship to a toxic relationship. The transition is gradual. That's why some of the extracts I've included may seem ridiculous to you, you may think "she's exaggerating, there's nothing toxic about it". But, if a passage is in this video, it means that it contains something dangerous, even if it is not yet directly physical violence. For example, grabbing women by the arm and pulling them without asking their opinion is an act of disrespect of consent and a form of domination. Forcing someone to stop seeing someone out of jealousy is a form of manipulation. I could go on and on like this.
Instead, I'll be honest with you even though I'm a little scared of it: I was in a relationship like this for a year and a half. I was 16 at the time, he was funny, handsome, caring. When he started to forbid me things out of jealousy, I didn't question it. When he broke things and cried and said he was afraid of losing me, I told myself it was because he loved me. That's why this subject is sensitive and important to me, that's why I might be radical if you come and tell me that jealousy is not toxic. That's why the scenes I see in kdramas drive me crazy.
This normalization of domination, jealousy, control, mental violence, blackmail, physical violence is very dangerous. The jealousy crises turned into a joke, the scenes of non-respect of the consent turned into romantic scenes with slow motion and a nice music in the background. It is dangerous, it is not nothing, it is not an exaggeration to say that it is serious. There are people who are likely to find themselves in situations like this and who may never realize it "because it's normal" "because it's not his fault". You don't change someone like that, it's not your job. Someone who can't express their emotions and turns them into anger is a dangerous person.
A man who turns his frustration, fear and suffering into anger and violence is a dangerous person. I beg you, don't make the same mistake I did, trying to convince yourself that his actions are justified, that it's not his fault, that he had a hard life, or that you had it coming, that it's your fault. It's not your fault. I insist, it's not your fault. No matter what he makes you believe, no matter what he puts in your head, it is not your fault.
Overall, I've been talking about the case of a narcissistic pervert, but be aware that the line between narcissistic pervert and toxic masculinity can be very thin. But remember this: jealousy and possessiveness is not cute, it can be an excuse for manipulation and control. The non-respect of consent and violence is never justified. Insults, pressure, humiliation, blame, is violence. And moral violence can lead to physical violence.
Hope you’ve liked the video anyway. Don’t hesitate to share the link! Thanks for reading all this and for watching.
_____________________________________________________
Please support my work here : ko-fi.com/marietb
- or here : www.paypal.com/pools/c/8r78OHJRRR
I'm so so sorry that you had to go through all that! No one should ever have to go through something like that. I saw my mom be abused by my dad growing up. So I told myself I would never be with a guy like that. Thankfully...I have an amazing husband & 3 beautiful & wonderful kids ❤ I am so glad you was able to get away from your abuser. For some....I know they don't get away in time.... & its absolutely heartbreaking... 💔
@Poreema Maiti Just added them!
What’s the name of the first song that you used for this edit please
@@dede0729 They have it in the description, scroll down and you’ll find it. I don’t want to tell you directly, because often that leads to copyright of people’s work.
I didn't think I was going to read all of it, but I did. And I love that I did.
The fact that lead characters are always aggressive and violent and second lead characters are the perfect example of how a person should be,,,yet in the end lead one comes together... I still don't know why we are still watching movies and dramas like these... It's not just about Korean entertainment industry it's about literally every industry
pretty much the reason i get 2nd lead syndrome most of the time and always like wtf do you like about him?
You're not watching the right ones then
@@steffylitchannel4313 But the jealousy is kinda in every kdrama...? Sometimes more, sometimes less, but it's there... Well, I think recently kdramas have evolved a lot, so I hope for the better :)
Actually, some of the second leads are extremely toxic and feel entitled to the female lead - even when she doesn't like them.
@@steffylitchannel4313 it depends on the scene (in Crash landing on you) . There were a scene when they are in south korea that is kind of okay (and I'm pretty radical about jealousy but I think his way of showing it was okay because he didn't impose it). But there is some others scene when they're in North Korea (in the elevator for exemple) that I don't like and that are not really okay, I think.
The main male leads are always aggressive and I hate when they force kiss the girls, I have rage quit so many dramas because of this reason. People started romanticizing toxic behaviors and it's honestly disgusting. There is a K-drama I was watching (I forgot the name) but her husband literally faked her having cancer just so she would marry him, but she continued being with him when she found out... like huh? why?
It was a Chinese drama called well intended love and I was angry when she got with him again like the next day, she barely confronted him either
But I think even in reality it is hard to break up even tho of toxic behavior of your partner... We are just afraid and we've already put so much work in the relationship...
Yes, i quit that one too, i don't know it has so much hype when the plot was so toxic and the mail lead was so manipulative
@notsomeone special playful kiss was the most toxic drama i've ever seen
It’s a Chinese drama and it was actually the first Asian drama I watched that got me to to Korean ones
I always get confused why toxic ones like the guys in true beauty and love alarm are so favoured.
i won't say suho is favoured in true beauty. people mostly like seojoon. but in love alarm, it's so disturbing how people were so mad that jojo chose the other guy. which was literally most healthy relationship ever. when the 1st lead was so manipulative and had victim complex. i think that was because of his visuals mostly. :) i literally can't understand how visually appealing people can get away with anything
@@falhasc0me suho still had a lot of fans for some reason and I get it he was played by one of the most attractive person ever but still his personality stank and was boring the whole time. But yeah i completely agree with love alarm
@@nadiaosman9603 well suho supporters are mostly his supporters from the webtoon where his character was healthy
@@nadiaosman9603 Hey, please don't judge me but I don't see Suho as a toxic character and I didn't know the webtoon nor the actor before (I'm not biased therefore). Would you mind explaining?
@@Alex_1706 Just look at the scene in this video, I think this is enough
I'm glad you put Suho from True Beauty. But of course his role was played by one of the most handsome and attractive man so many people was on Suho's side. In fact, I had no problem against the actor who portrayed him. The fact that Suho was very controlling and possessive to Ju Kyung even before they started dating is a big Red Flag. Many people say that because he had a troubled family and I totally understand that and felt bad for him but Kdrama writers seriously need to stop using the troop " broken family or past trauma" just as an excuse to make the male lead be rude and abusive to the female leads. He also visited her work place, making her uncomfortable and demand her to quit her job just because she was working with his best friend. I understand that he lost his best friend and he blamed himself for that but instead of telling her that he wasn't ready for a relationship because his past still traumatised him he cut her off whenever he felt bad about himself and used that as an excuse to hurt her feelings but gets jealous every time Seojun (his best friend) approach her.
FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT
Second lead wasn't better either. I didn't like that drama. I didn't understand what all the hype was about.
@@SudhaSingh-rc9ed I liked Seojun but then I thought about it and it doesn't feel right to me now.
@@SudhaSingh-rc9ed Yeah people always say « omg Suho is toxic I like Seo Jun » but like... he wasn’t that better either? Like he basically harassed her at some point.
@@rose-nn3wj Please don't start this debate. A lot of people already talked about it (under my other video mostly because I included Seojun in it). They both had abusive behaviors and don't try to compare them to minimize one or the other
I get confused when a lot of people prefer Eun Dan Oh to end up with Baek Kyung. He is so toxic, abusive even when he's in the shadow.
Haru is much better than BK, and he knows how to care, respect Dan Oh
me too, its so weird to me that people want that when from the very first ep we clearly saw how much pain he has caused her. even when he became aware himself he still continued being a jerk. If I remember correctly he was the one who removed her oxygen mask that caused her to die in the shadow. He did it knowingly that she would lose her awareness. And people still preferred him over haru who's always been so loving & caring to her, he only wanted to make her happy. While baekyuung wanted her no matter what it costs & constantly belittled her existence saying she exists only to be his fiance. This is so messed up
@@Sara-ud5mt No, BK removed her oxygen mask because if she dies in shadow, she can still live again. Otherwise, she dies in the stage, she’ll disappear.
But in my opinion, he’s still too toxic for Dan Oh. She really should end up with Haru
Ikr Haru would never do anything to hurt Dan oh and is never toxic
Haru is such a sweetheart many people say he was so boring , most of my friends favor baek kyung , but dude i want a boyfriend like haru and gu chan song from hotel del luna , i seriously dislike the cliché " jealousy " behavior .
Thank God Eun Dan-o choose Ha-ru💜
Forced kiss , bf asking girls to dress that covers their whole body , practically like a nun , asking them to quit jobs because they dont like associating you with someone, asking them to not laugh with other guys because they dont want others to see your pretty smile etc etc etc.. somethings that i loved in my teenage years to now realizing how toxic AF it was , I realized I grew up , and in a good way . I hope others too .
wow growing up watching kdramas i molded this of love from what they showed us which now i can tell it’s toxic . thank God i’m starting to get aware before i settle for something like that.
My ex was like that ,he was very obssesive ,stakling me everywhere ,blackmailing me that he.will kill himself if i ever leave him .but i am very happy i ended that relationship and enjoying my life right now .
Soo true. I really hate these kind of kdramas. I m fed up ….how they portray toxicity as romance or love. This is because now I m binge to crime, thriller , suspense kdramas.
They really think this shit is romantic. I used to too, until I had a boyfriend that actually acted that way. He would check my phone and delete contacts that had male names, threw out my skirts and shorts when I wasn't at home, and even threatened my brother because he thought I spent too much time with another man. MY BROTHER, WHO I LIVE WITH. It was the last thing that made me put my foot down, to be honest. I raised my brother since our parents separated. I draw the line at family. I collected evidence and got a restraining order early last year. Ever since then, I haven't been able to see toxic relationships in K-dramas the same way.
In the world lots of people suffered like that myself too
I was thinking that I was the only one who was bothered with Su Ho's possessive behavior in True Beauty.
He low-key seemed like a yandere
He is way different in the WEBTOON. I wonder why they made him more aggressive
@@wblf4103 ikr😭
People normally just overlook it saying it’s just “love” but it’s pretty obsessive
Even the characters called su ho out like “stop being obsessive”
Suho in the webtoon is a sweetheart,he would never be abusive or anything similar,why they made him a jerk in the drama?
my thoughts exactly. I read true beauty webtoon first and I really liked suho but then when I watched the drama I was like why is he being such a rude ass jerk. The webtoon suho is more of a quiet introvert kind of guy & instead of being cold or rude he is just simply uncomfortable with socializing much that's why he tends to shy away from others but the drama lee suho is a straight up mean, rude & unkind person who behaves with his classmates & friends like they are his servants, always looks down on them. Even when they try to help him cheer up or company him he behaves like such a brat. Does he not have sense? Those people are trying to make u feel better can you at least try to act little more kindly? Most of the audience just rolled with that behavior as "cool guy" "hot shot" and that makes me feel so weird.
Uk i actaully thought since the comic has not ended and the drama was going to end they were going to make an ending with jukyung and seojun since she dated seojun first in the comic and not in the drama and in the drama suhos character was kind of a bitch lol so I didnt like him and actaullt wanted jukyung to be with seojun but that didn't happen😔
Ikr
I think that people only stan suho in the drama because he was amazing in the webtoon. They don't realize that suho in the drama and webtoon are totally different people
They changed every character's personality like tf they all made everyone dirty here ..my opinion i really liked than seojun in webtoon bt in drama he's like this typical "bad guy"of kdrama like he was more than a ''bad guy'' he just had the fashion style of a ''bad guy'' and suho.. i don't remember him much bt as far as i remember he was the sweetest person
I don't mind when shows portray toxic relationships because it's realistic and may help/make some ppl realise what they are going through, but if it's showed as romantic or glorified, I just can't...
How a guy controlling you is romantic? That's why I often have 2nd lead syndrom they are often the nice healthy guys...
True
Yes and that's why I was so pissed off with the dialogue surrounding Run On. People were saying things like "the ML acts too much like a 2nd lead" or "he's too passive" and "their relationship is boring". Like if being aggressive and rough is what it takes for a relationship to not be boring, call me boring then. The ML always asked for consent before he did anything, respected the FL's personal space & privacy, never pulled, dragged or pushed her, and when they ran into problems they talked it out together. I hate that that's considered boring.
@@jchen8902 Preach! I personally loved their relationship because it was just so mature and healthy, like even if they didn't alway agree or had misunderstandings, it was always resolved because they were both open minded and had a conversation.
I didn't know some people found that boring, and it pisses me off because for once we have a show that portrays healthy romance and highlights the importance of communication/honesty. Both had fears and trauma, yet learned to grow thanks to their self awareness and desire to get better/make their relationships work.
And the ML was actually really cool for being such a gentle soul, bless him.
1:03 - It really hurts when your boyfriend says you to quite your job cause of his jealousy..
This isn't normal
Yes like hell yes, find someone who’s supportive and understanding with your career and practical life decisions
So right ! I couldn’t handle at all his crazy possessiveness so I stopped watching it for that reason. I really preferred suho in the webtoon rather than in the drama
My father forced my mom to quit her job because os jealousy.. now he lost his job too, and my mom doesn't have job either. I'm the only one who work in the family.. it's giving me hard time. I wish my father didn't force my mom to quit her job in the first place 😭
Sorry for my bad eng
@@chappyllama4445 your english is good, don't worry ^^
EDIT>>> instead of apologizing for your English (any language), tell people to point out the error in the sentence
I really HATE how they romanticize toxic relationships as "just protective" when they are clearly just disrespectful and abusive.
The dramas never explicitly state the person is being “protective,” the viewers view as such. Where and how is this the dramas fault?
i think by “they” the commenter meant the fans
@@ladymire If the drama portrays these abusive actions, and the characters do not address the situation or apologise, then the drama is saying that those actions are allowed and good. If the couple, where one was being abusive to the other, lasts till the end of the show, that is the drama's way of saying what happened is okay, because in the end they end up together despite the abuse. That is not okay. There is a scene in a drama, I can't remember the name, where the female lead kisses the male lead without his consent. She later apologises for her actions. This shows that the drama recognises a toxic behaviour and shows the viewers that it is not okay. But, when actions like these are brushed off and shown to be cute with nice music and slow motion (which they often are), it is the indirect way of the drama showing that those actions are excusable. The funny thing is a lot of the time, if the same abusive actions were performed by a male character who isn't going to end up with the female lead, the drama portrays it as unacceptable, as they should. However, when done by the male lead, somehow it is acceptable. The double standard is shocking to say the least.
This is why I HATE Heirs and would never recommend it. The ML is so manipulative and toxic and she just ends up with him... without any real character development on his part. Kim Tae was still an abusive brat by the end, he just got his way. I also hate drama Suho for what they did to his character, he used to be my favorite.😩
@Bea Live Honestly I feel you on heirs . I had to sit down and explain to my brother how Kim tae wasn't anybetter than the 2nd lead male. I couldn't even watch those than 4 episodes before I just was angry the whole time. Not to mention I was so mad after reading the webtoon, only to be disappointedin his characterin the show. I couldn'teven come close to finishing it, without feeling sick. Especially that scene at the mall with the main leads drove me nuts. And I had to stop after the episode of him telling her to quit her job. Suho never even bothered to ask why she got it in the first place.
Now thinking back heirs was pretty abusive.
It was one of the first dramas I watched and at that time I didn't notice anything since I was young but I finished re-watching it last week and I can totally understand it now. Kim tan was literally said to eunsang "love me or get out of my house" i was like ??? and all throughout the show he kept forcing and clinging onto her even when she refused to go out with him, that show is so messed up
@@niki5923 Yeah, he says that but when she actually leaves and says she doesn’t want him to bother her anymore and he still shows up at her house like a creepy stalker. What the heck?!😬
I'm not saying its acceptable but if you really think about it the Heirs without the abuse and stalking there is no story. Yes they treated her like a new toy to be won ni regards for her feelings, she just chose the person who seemed to have less trauma.
I'm amazed of how one single scene, put into the right context, can show it's true colors. Shows tend to disguise toxic behaviour by making it funny and making the viewer see this as something normal...
For some of them it was really impressive actually. Especially the one from Secretary Kim. By erasing the funny sounds, effects and music, the scene just seems creepy.
I already thought of taking compilation of moments of jealousy you can find on youtube and just changing the music. That just hits totally different.
That's why people need to learn how to take a step back on what they're watching and to not just accept everything without questioning it
@@marietb Yes! I was so impressed with the Secretary Kim scene, boi this us just sad how they normalize everything smh
Btw, your videos are AMAZING, i love the edits so far
@@maddyar55 thank you so much!
Ur so right. If u put these scenes with a brighter filter and add a cute romantic song in the background nothing seems wrong. That's why most ppl dont realize how any of this is abusive. When its put in the right context and environment u can really see the true colors of these scenes
Now I know why I never the lee min hos dramas. They roles he played were so abusive. I hated boys over flowers, and I hated the heirs even more.
I hated love alarm too. Like the whole kiss w love alarm was so creepy. The ml called her in an alley and kissed her without permission. Like it's not cute bro. It was just creepy. If the guy wasnt good looking then ppl would call it assault, but the ml was good looking so everyone just said it was cute
I didn't know why I always felt unconfortable in the "grab the arm" scenes but I guess it's clear now. And the part where the male character wipe the female character lipstick is just SO passive aggressive and possessive.
Like yeah i know that the entire video's awful but the subtle abuse always feel too close to home for me... yikes
I know right? The ''grab the arm'' seems very unconfortable and if someone did it to me I would not react nicely.
The wiping the lipstick was a red flag for me i was going to watch that drama today and opened 1st episode and was watching it.Then the last scene came and i was like wtf .To be honest rowoon looked like a creep and previously he did follow the main girl around to look where she is going so i was like hell no and give up watching
Ugh, finally Someone, true beauty was so toxic 🤦♀️
It's a high school romance , what did you expect
@@melodysare4918 that is not an excuse about this toxic behaviours 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ I don't know what to expect anymore
@@tatianaalejandrapineda6408 im not defending this behavior , i meant that this is a high school romance teens romanticize these kind of relationships thinking it's an act of jealousy . So yeah
@@melodysare4918 which teens the fuck?
People said the Suho in Webtoon version ain't nothing like the one in the drama, and I think they're right😅
I honestly didn't realize the toxicity in "true beauty", I did for "fight in my way" I wanted her to go with that dress skirt she had on, but no she went to go change cuz the "male alpha lead" told her to. This is hecking bad its being romantized in almost every drama
That scene got me crazy like she said "don't tell me what to do" but she did it anyway 😑
@@marietb fr 😑 like she looked pretty no shit she is gonna look like a women
@@marietb there was also a scene where he pulled her hair tie off because he didn't want other men to see her "pretty neck" like TF??
@@zainabriizwan yes, I think fight for my way had a lot of warning signs of abuse. I could make an entire video on it (and on Boys over flowers, which is the perfect example of an abusive relationship)
@@marietb please do. I especially hate the sequences in Fight For My Way. Even the other couple, Seol hee and Joo man shared such a toxic relationship and he went on to accuse her of being a tease, like tf dude who are you kidding? And Seol? She willingly accepted all that. And I don't even want to get started on the main couple. And wait, there's more... That Moobin, what was he? Idk. And lastly, her mom and both of their dads? In a sequence, both of them went to her apartment and for what? Aaaand her half brother? He saod something along the lines of, ''you're are interesting to me'', to Ae ra.
(feel free to correct me if interpreted something wrong)
And this everyone is why we like the *2ND MALE LEADS* better 🙄🤌
💜💜💜
Yeah they are matured,gentle and kind hearted
@@blachhblah287 please omg
yoon ji hoo deserved better 😔😔
I was in a toxic relationship before too I had a boyfriend who would literally *NEVER* allow me to talk with any boys and in some cases he won't even allow me to talk with my own girl best friends. He was way too possessive everytime I would just greet a boy he would accuse me of ‘cheating’ I was actually pretty naive back then I had the stupid mentality that "jealousy and being possessive = loving you". I was in a relationship with him for 3 whole years I wanted to break up with him long time back but he would never allow me to breakup with him he was literally like controlling my fuckin life and I slowly realized that all these time I've been living in a toxic relationship..
Before breaking up with him I asked my 'friends' what would be the right decision and they were all like hOw cAn yOu lEavE hiM ? jEaloUsy mEanS lOve and I told them that accusing your gf for cheating 24/7 just cause she talked with someone doesn't mean it's a way to show affection
And yus im finally out of the toxic relationship and pretty happy with life heheheheh have a great day
I appreciate your hardwork you deserve so much appreciation!! 🌙
sometimes friends and family are actually helping the abuser by justifying or ignoring the abuse. That's why I make so many videos like this, it's important to be aware of the warning signs of abuse to avoid a toxic relationships but also to recognize it. Someone who ignore abuse is basically the abuser's accomplice. That's what your friends did. I hope your friends have changed or that you have changed of friends. That's the kind of thing I would never forgive or at least I would have a hard time to do so..
@@marietb yah saii baat h thoda bht hona alg baat h hadd se jadaa hona ya jo hume theek na lge wso itta glt bhii ni hota h agr pyaar ho hume lkin firr bhi kisi ko acha nii lgta h jb tk sukoon na mile aur jsa hum krna chahe wsa bhii krna de wo ii h sccha pyaar...
This is same to same as my case but at the end there came a boy to help me out from this toxic relationship and He is My Husband Now☺️❤️
Good for you ✨💜 toxic and abusive partners are the worst
The most important thing is to learn from these types of shows to stop normalizing these toxic antitudes
the dramas are beautiful, but we must also admit that they Normalize Very toxic attitudes 🤷🏻♀️
Excellent video🙏🏻
The truth is there are some dramas with scenes that are obviously abusive and controlling but with the sweet ost playing in the back it made it look like it was cute:/
@@zynn_ exactly 😬
I feel like we also need to give people the benifit of the doubt here. If you're modelling your love life after any fictional series or charater then you need to do some serious reflection. I don't quite like the argument that people are stupid and think that this is how it is.
@@kcmac66 this is correct 👌🏼
UA-cam was jelouse of your editing skills so they removed the og video🙄🤚😪
* jealous
Honestly I feel like this song suits the edit better.
I personally didn't see Suho in True Beauty as "abusive"....but I can totally understand where you was coming from with that!!! About how it starts out with trying to control what they do....who they see....who they hang out with....where they go........then yes...it can eventually turn into more violent stuff
Well this is already control so in a way it's already toxic
@@marietb Yes like I said...I can understand where you was coming from with it. Again I am so sorry for your own experience you went through.... 💔
He was toxic
@@tatianaalejandrapineda6408 I was just giving my personal opinion. Me myself....while watching True Beauty....I never thought of Suho being "abusive". But I can definitely see what Marie was getting at. Cause that is how it all starts. Just trying to be controlling....then it can turn violent.
@@mommabearannie2247 u do know that abuse includes more than physical right...suho was definitely toxic and using a lot of common dating abuse
i personally think boys over flower, the heirs, love alarm, penthouse and extraordinary you is the worst
Extraodinary you is good main lead ain’t toxic second lead character is toxic in comic
@@diya0716 ik. im talking about the second lead 😔
The main guy from love alarm was so toxic, I love the actor for him but the fictional character he played irked me a lot. I was actually pretty happy that love alarm decided to pair the main girl with the second male lead who treated her nicely and gave her room to recover from trauma and learn to open up to people again which is something the other guy didnt give to her.
At The Penthouse, Suryeon loved and respected Dan Tae's side which was always kind and gentle to her. But when she found out what a toxic and terrible personality he have, she left him.
At Extraordinary you and Love alarm, Dan Oh and Jojo finally made the right choice.
Extraordinary you has the healthiest relationship so far , you gotta see haru 🙄
00:58 02:31 Gu Jun Pyo (Boys Over Flowers) was extremely toxic and abusive. Screw falling in love, she should had never choose him
Am hella proud of the lead character Minhyuk from "Strong girl Bong Soon"!!❤
I don't think so even after finding out her power two ml lead were always controlling her and saying that it's dangerous for her to catch the serial kidnapper.
@@seema9051 she was strong but they knew killer can kill in many ways which she won't be able to protect herself example weapons in any way she won't be able to service from these and she knew it too
I honestly disliked both Suho and Seojun. Seojun bullied her in the begining and decided to change when he saw that jukyeong was helping out his sister. Suho seemed nice in the begining but ended up being super possessive and annoying. I dropped the drama. I wanted Jukyeong to have more choices honestly .
Please.. this didnt happen in the novel. Noone bullied jukyeong in her class only that girl with black hair did. Suho met her in a store and immediately noticed who she is and teased her. He didnt even bully her he said that hes not the type of person that will black mail her and so that happened and seojun always tried his best to get along with juheong in the comic and he felt embarrassed for some reason when he sees her or something but idk why the writter made them like this. And fyi seojun is jukheong's first boyfriendand suho never really had the chance to be possesive because he felt like jukheong doesnt like him until he left for the states for his father. Where the hell gone wrong in the writting.
@@mintycokies8057 I know I have read the webtoon. I know that the webtoon was different compared to the drama. But this edit is about the drama and I am also refering to the drama. I wonder why they changed the characters like that. Generally people change stories for the better. But this time they made it worse by changing it.
@@shyamopriyamoitra1474 i’m sorry but seojun never bullied ju kyung, he acted like that cause she took his helmet. pls don’t bring seojun to the “toxic guys” cause he never was in the first place
@@user-up8vy6le9y Nope I watched the drama and he was toxic . He tried to play all the "I will only listen to you prank " in the begining cause he wanted to get back at suho. He wanted to "take away" Jukyeong from Suho or whatever. Then he actually started liking her and realised that he has messed up. He apologised which was nice. But he didn't really stop coming in between Suho and Jukyeong. He was like I like her so now I will come in between 2 people who like each other. Basically no one really cared about Jukyeong's thoughts . Jukyeong liked Suho but Seojun was like nahhh I am going to do what I want. Suho was like omg she is roaming around with seojun so I can't trust her. Even though she clearly stated that she liked him. Then at the end they did the waiting thing which made everyone feel pity for seojun cause he waits like a year but jukyeong goes back to Suho. That was stupid too ( from the point of view of the story)
I personally think that Seojun becomes a significantly better person in the end. He wasn't the best at the beginning but as the series progresses he becomes more considerate of the feelings of others. I think he knew Jukyeong had a crush on Suho but he didn't realise how much she actually liked him/he was in denial (bc who would want to believe the person they're in love with loves someone else?) When he sees Jukyeong actually in pain and she confesses that she likes Suho, we see that he does really care about her feelings & that's when he realises he should just be there for her as a friend (not actually trying to get between her and Suho anymore). Jukyeong wasn't the greatest character as well - she wasn't the greatest friend to Seojun and didn't think about how he was dealing with the death of his friend. He tried his best to make her happy when she was sad but when he got hurt she didn't think about him or ask about him. He also stood up for her several times without her even knowing. The waiting made sense because a broken heart takes a long time to heal for some (and because Seojun is considerate of Jukyeong's feelings, he wanted to just stay as a supporting friend for her after her breakup) - he probably didn't think it was the right time to tell her how he felt until more time had passed. He was so considerate of the feelings of both Jukyeong and Suho that he literally just pushed his feelings aside and let them have the chance to be together. I think that makes him a great friend. He was a little cold at the beginning but I personally think he became the real 'true beauty' at the end. I also wouldn't call him a 'bully' like he didn't really try to harm her emotionally in any way (there's a clear difference between how Jukyeong feels being actually bullied by the girls from her old school and being spoken to/lightly teased by Seojun at the beginning). He's the perfect example of good emotional growth from adolescence to adulthood.
Me trying to find the other edit like 👁️👄👁️
UA-cam blocked it
Jojo was lucky that she have hyeyoung by her side . Love alarm has the most healthiest relationship ( talking about jojo X hyeyoung ) .
After watching this, I realized even more that most romance in K-dramas aren't that healthy. It's viewed as fine, cute, and even "goals", but it's not as beautiful as it should be. 😟
aha i thought they were goals.. but after watching this video i realized i don’t want these types of relationships anymore 😸 oopsy
@@Julie-nu3yo The only male lead I actually like is probably Park hyung sik (forgot the Character name) from Strong woman do bong soon .He wasn't cold towards the female lead or anyone and was kind even though he was rich.
@@cute-ml2xm oo i recently watched that drama and yes he’s so sweet, and the actor is also a blessing to look at 🥲
One of the exceptions has to be Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok Joo! Bok joo and joon hyungs relationship was really cute :,)
They’re fictional stories. You shouldn’t be idolizing them in the first place. If you do, then that’s on you. Not the creator or the sane audience who knows the difference from fiction and reality.
I like how you chose the scenes which are considered kdrama relationship goals which make us all feel like why don't we have men who are jealous for us.. Like the famous hand grabbing, ML losing his shit seeing FL with a guy(shown in a funny way), forced kiss etc.
the "dragging her away by her hand" scenes are just so common in series that people have stopped seeing them as problematic.
i literally had to search "k-drama with strong female leads" to see some good content
Also we need more people talking about emotional/verbal abuse bc most people still don't see it as abuse or don't understand it or even worse compare it to physical abuse (as less damaging). The minimising and victime blaming is huge when it comes to these types of abuse
Made a video about it!
I'm trying my best to show people abuse is not only about physical abuse but this is kind of complicated, a lot of people don't seem to understand. It's really difficult to explain it in a video..
This is a really good fmv that highlights such an important topic in Korean dramas. Both this song and 911 by Elise(that was the song that was used with this video before it was taken down and had to be re-uploaded) suits it very well
If you guys just finished a drama that romanticized a toxic relationship, I would recommend Run On if you want to refresh your eyes and brain with a healthy and wholesome relationship :>
Even catch the ghost was good too
Run on 👏👏
I found boys over flowers the worst of all. The toxicity of the male lead forced me to drop the drama midway(in fact till the 7 ep itself). Like each and every approach of his to the female lead was literally so freaking toxic like wtf?? And people out there calling the drama evergreen, perfect, and blah blah irks me so bad till date.
FINNALLY FOUND MATURED PERSON! there are people out there who take this sign of love ⚠️⚠️
Danoh, jojo, tanya, suryeon and yeeun. Im glad these characters can overcame this unhealthy relationship
yes kim jojo
When I was adolescence, those were attractive dramas what I liked and I imagined that my boyfriend would do same thing to me like in dramas. But now, I've spent almost 4 years for healing myself which contaminated by emotional abusive from my ex. It's really hurt and it can contagious to other people. So, I'm still in treatment to forgive myself. It similar with those dramas and what the video is showing. I hope you'll never feel what I feel and never get someone tell you but he didn't, it's actually abusive for you. Thank you for your sharing and love yourself all.
I hope you r alright now, may God give you strength❤
And I'm seek of people excusing behaviors in the name of love. Love is never an excuse and so many people stay bc of this "but he still loves me". It's not about love. Plus we all have different definitions of love. And love isn't the only thing required to be in a relationships with someone (for ex respect, and emotional safety..)
The exact opposite of love is abuse. Love is about respect when abuse is all about disrespect. They're sometimes confused, really often, when it's a dangerous thing to do so
AYO SUHO WAS NEVER LIKE THIS IN THE COMIC OMG. HER FIRST BOYFRIEND IS SEOJUN WHAT DID THEY DO TO PURE SOFT SUHO.
That drama, Boys Over Flowers, the main character was a walking red flag for me. The way he manipulated her, controlled her and presented his dominance over her was not it for me. And the fact that these types of dramas are so common and glamorized really concerns me…
Could I just say thank you for putting "Extraordinary you," I hated the childhood friend. He was so evil, cruel, and manipulative. It sicken me how her having a heart condition, he would directly break her heart, causing her heart monitor to alarm her heart, and he would not care and walk of. Seriously his behavior is trash, and I am shock there a fandom that romanticizes his behavior. It sick, toxic, and I am glad she fought back not to be with him, and be her own person and be with Haru the man who loves her and respect her.
Very insightful !! Plus, in a lot of dramas, the girl looks disgusted by the kiss so I can't never see the scene as romantic nor understand how people can call it cute. Honestly, if these male leads were very ugly, people would see this differently, pretty privilege is real guys! Anyway, consent is sexy. Hope to see some improvement in new kdramas
RUN ON have the most healthiest relationship..
What I hate about True beauty the drama is that they made the female lead dumb and dependent on the most toxic male leads, and what's worse is that this drama is aimed to young teenage girls, through this they're telling them that this is what they should expect in relationships
One of the kdrama i hated the most was Drinking Solo because of how badly and rudely the guy treated the girl but it took me so long to realize that many dramas actually have the “main lead being rude to the girl and she falls for him” trope. Seeing so many other dramas where the girl is mistreated like tht and it’s considered romantic is honestly just so disappointing. Its kinda weird how knetz and other ppl too have a problem with history distortion but not with male toxicity prevalent in so many dramas.
I really appreciate this video and the effort you put in it. Could you do a video about „vanilla and coffee“? It‘s not a kdrama but I think it‘s really messed up. Also I can‘t turn on subtitles... I‘ve already seen the original video, but is this a general problem or is it just my account?
I didn't put the subtiles yet. As my previous video has been blocked, I have to rewrite all the subs and I'll do it when I have some time
Agree, vanilla and coffee is so dark...
My freaking god, coffee and vanilla were hella toxic!
Yeah.I never liked jdormas due to this
I hate when there’s two guys on either side of the girl pulling her . like both of you get your hands off her right now what the hell
The fact that I have seen most of these dramas and enjoyed it makes me scared at how normalized these situations are 😬
When I watched these scenes where male leads were abusive, I never noticed how toxic those relationships were. I always rooted for them since I thought they looked cute together and knew they would be the final couple. After my break of watching kdramas, I noticed how so many male leads get away with abusive behaviors because of trauma when really many female leads had trauma too, yet they were also ignored. Heck, I don't think I can even remember a kdrama without any toxic behavior from either the male or the female lead. It's so sad how these type of behaviors are so normalized, even in western media.
Dangg, kwak dong yeon at the end of this edit is really giving the good advice
Wow... I honestly used to ship Jukyung with Suho before because I knew they would be the final couple (since everything led to it), and when I saw those scenes where stalked her, knew exactly where she was, and knew exactly who she was talking with, my blood literally boiled. I felt mad that Suho was doing such things, and was finally glad that he changed but at the end, I still felt bad for shipping knowing how toxic it was at a certain point :/
And the fact that we find some of them “cute” “romantic”
I'm glad you put "The Heirs" in the video. People always say it's super cute and romantic but I hated the drama inter alter because Lee Min Ho's character was just a toxic boyfriend, manipulative, demanding, controlling.
If yall think Bae Kyung with Dan Oh should have been together instead of Haru, I need you to educate yourself. Like how in the world?!
He kept harrasing her, making fun of her life threatening disease(esp when his mom too had this kind of disease) victim blaming her, yelling at her, forcing her to be with him, breaking her things, criticizing her choices, becoming violent towards her and Haru and much more. His father hitting him doesn't excuse him taking it out on others.
Even if he had feelings for Dan Oh, his toxic and violent behavior towards her throughout the drama is scary. At one point I thought he'd actually hit her. On the other hand, Haru was respectful, I'm not saying he is great cuz that is bare minimum but yall found him boring for asking consent and treating her with respect.
The drama called out the "male lead's obsessive behaviour" so if they decided to let Dan Oh be with Bae Kyung, it would be pretty cheap and hypocritical of them.
Thank you for uploading this again💖 this song has a dark vibe and suits the vid perfectly! Now this is gonna be a long one so be prepared people.
Its high time people start to realize this is not romance. Or as some people defend it as us being "too sensitive" and this being "passive aggression". Sweetie, wake up. Dont settle for people like these just cause you like them "broken" and you think you can "fix them".
"Not everyone is perfect and they just need love" i get your points. But i never asked for perfection. A person can have flaws and still know how to treat you like a human being. People defending them is such an insult to all the victims out there.
I was in a toxic relationship too so i know how hard it gets. Imagine you feel trapped and when you talk about it people call you delusional and overthinker. I ended it after five months. I was scared but not enough to let it carry on. And never dated a guy for four years. A five months relationship gave me such trauma. I focused on healing and got better and finally found the courage to date my current boyfriend. Im lucky to have him now, a sweet and gentle person who is not perfect but treats me with utmost respect and love. I still get scared but i am better cause i have some amazing people by my side.
But not everyone has the same story as me. There are so many people out there in such relationship with no hope of getting out. There is hope, it may be small but it certainly is there. So dont ignore the gut feeling. If you think its not okay and uncomfortable then it is not! Dont let others decide your relationship. They are not the people who felt it. It was YOU who felt it. Go with your gut feeling like i did.
2:24, 2:12, 1:39, 1:30
I thought these scenes were to raise awareness of abuse in relationship not romanticize it..
I really appreciate the fact you are delivering this message out in the open through your edits✨....people really need to know their boundaries now a days
vincenzo, strong girl do bong-soon and crash landing on you are literally some of the only dramas where i feel like there was no toxicity. especially vincenzo, even though there was less romance in the drama, i felt so proud knowing that vincenzo never used his physical strength on her or ever tried to man-handle his way. these three dramas are one of the best dramas i have watched till this day in honesty!
also, thank you so much for making this video!!
bruh I literally dropped BOF bcs.......we all know
Still it's so famous like dude...the ML literally hits the FL WTF...how can anyone be fine with that and I also dropped "heirs" and "cheese in the trap" is like..the ML is literally a creepy stalker..
There are really some problem with some korean dramas, trust me I am a sucker for Kdrama but the way they sometimes normalize the toxicity is just frustrating .
And now that I think about it the jealousy and controlling concept is in almost every drama, NGL sometimes when it's in boundaries the jealousy is cute (like in CLOY when se-ri showed hand hearts to everyone) but some of the time out of jealousy, the male lead becomes an asshole (sorry for the cuss but like the scene where ML goes- "She is mine"..etc) like bro di you buy her from amazon or what and the FL just shrugs it off afterwards. and "Love in sadness" is not a bad drama instead it shows the signs of control, abuse etc. it is good, the one who abuse is actually the villain and ML is the saviour and then "Age of youth" also shows the toxicity of that. It is indeed a sad truth that the audience is actually somewhat fond of some of the toxic behaviour and defends it by regarding it as cute or love. Also sometimes I feel as if jealousy also indicates the lack of trust in a relationship bcs if you trust your significant other then you know that there is no need for jealousy bcs they trust and love you.
I may be a bit sick sometimes. But I guess even the die-hard fans can also agree that some of the kdrama stereotypes are plain toxic and it is getting normalised when it shouldn't. I am not saying that the kdramas are bad or something, I am also a big fan of them. But sometimes some dramas behaviour even if it is in the character or even if the concept or storyline is like that, It is still toxic and we should not really take it as normal. Oh and another one normalised stereotype in kdrama is non-consent things like touch, hugs even kisses etc. No matter how they look or no matter how dreamy/ romantic it is you think (if you are a an asshole like me). But bruh FL did not give you the consent. Like to hell even if you are the ML but there is something called consent and you should respect it. If someone (doesn't matter if it's a boy or a girl or any unique people out there) says that You can't touch them that means YOU CAN'T TOUCH THEM no matter who you are or your status even if you are their parents, husband, wife or boyfriend/girlfriend, bestfriend. Tt does not matter who you are because when they said no it means NO. Ik we ar
e on to kdramas here but some of japanese dramas also have these. And THAI dramas....no drama or show can surpass the limit of toxicity of that I mean- non-con, jealousy, forced relationship even rape are kinda like normalised in some of them. IT'S SO FRUSTRATING WHEN THE ML RAPED THE FL YET THEY END UP TOGETHER LIKE WHY?!
And even if I had a rant just now.....as i said My fucking sick side low-key likes the toxicity and I know it is not healthy but- I can't help when that side comes out...sometimes I do feel like I am really sick and a bitch for low-key liking this shit but I rePEAT DON'T FUCKIN BE LIKE ME. I AM NOT A GOOD PERSON. 0_0
If you are this far you probably read my whole paragraph of a rant and if you are offended by this feel free to ignore it. and thanks for taking the time to read. Just a daily reminder-
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL/ HANDSOME AND PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
We need more edits like these to create awareness over these matters.
People need to know that those kdrama oppars can't be perfect all the time.
im glad, u've found a way to reupload it and i just hope it won't be blocked by yt again T_T
@Marie TB [유토피아] you should also add legend of the blue sea when lee min ho threats not to Wear skirt above knee to jun jihyun. That seen really pissed me off. and congratulations for overcoming from your toxic relationship.
Damn ..!! I fantasised these kind of guys until I fell in love with one.. the breaking things , shouting , forcing without consent was traumatising as fuck.. he did say he loved me too much but he literally became obsessed with me and wouldn’t let me talk or be friends with a Single guy. M glad I got out of it😿
To be honest... I literally stopped watching boys over flowers (BOF)and didn't even watched love alarm season 2 because of this... It was very much frustrating to watch those male leads dominating the females... Though it's not only about BOF... the Manga.. As well as the anime... And all the other adaptations were really a pain in the ***🙄... As for the heirs... Lee min ho 's character was really bothersome. .. Due to his immaturity 😒
Immaturity is an excuse they use a lot in Kdrama to justify abusive behaviors (for exemple Fight for my way), as for the funny purposes. I think immaturity is not an excuse and I hope they can stop using it as such..
I'm shocked by the video, but it represents what I can no longer bear to see in dramas. Among all the dramas on the list I think BOF is the most toxic relationship I've ever seen. There are moments that I hope for the proganist to be alone in the end, it's better to be alone than in with such abusive couple. I hope they stop romanticizing abusive relationships.
Yes it's true though we all laughed at some of the scenes somewhere litteraly out of control from my pov boys over flowers was the worst in this case tbh though I liked the love story I totally hated the character of Gu Jun pyo. Also am happy that these days the characters of male leads are changing they are shown soft and understanding for example (happiness, link, hotel Del Luna, extraordinary attorney woo , Yumi's cells and many more )
Btw no hate as you can understand that I am a total kdrama fan and I loved all the dramas but some things are surely not right .
Finally found a video that actually shows the truth most of the time we find it cute the way they get angry but we never realized the toxic things in it
I watched a Kdrama (Secret Garden) years ago and I loved it so much but when I watch it again, like 5 a
years after that, I realised that scenes which were showed as "romantic", showed a really abusive bahavior. It's crasy that when you're young, we not always have that critics eye and it's dangerous.
I'm watching uncontrollably fond and it's *trash*
The guy was abusing the female lead and being possessive I feel uncomfortable watching it I don't get why people loved this drama😤 I'm so disappointed I hope it could get interesting by the end😣
Can someone please tell me to stop watching cuz it's not worth it😧
I love that drama
The ending is amazing
I didn't watch it but while editing this video I downloaded some episodes and I was really shocked all the time. It's one of the drama that shocked me the most. Here is my list of favorite dramas if you want to watch other dramas : mydramalist.com/list/D45Xroo3
@@marietb thank you I was watching run on at the same time and It's so much better
AIlso I really like this video you did an amazing gob making it💜💜💜
Boys over flowers and meteor garden too romanticize a physical aggression like love
I remember watching the first episode of love alarm and I saw the first dude kiss her forcefully and I couldn’t watch the rest. It felt wrong, and obviously I won’t blame the actors but it felt like they were trying to normal harassment. They were romanticizing it. And Ik that’s not how she fell for him but still it was romanticized and I didn’t like it...
2:31
This made me disgust, how can you treat her like that wtf bro-
Finally someone highlighted suho's toxicity in true beauty TT
I mean I love suho's face but his character is just not it man
Finally someone included 'True Beauty' in one of the toxic relationship! The character Suho was hella toxic, he literally made her slave! And that cold behaviours towards her😑I dunno who started this misconception that if u r cold towards a girl, she will fall for you? This writer should be given a slap, he changed the whole webtoon character🙄
The only thing I liked about this drama was the side story of those trio's friendship, and that of their friends mysterious death!❤
Okay..In moon lovers there is a scene when IU says that she is in love with other guy but wang so says that as long as it is not Baek ah (his only favourite brother) I don't care..like dude??😮 This was one of my fav couples and kdrama but after watching this video I realized it😣
I'm so glad this got recommended to me and I decided to watch it. i mean, the way you progress from the 'mild' signs to the severe ones is just phenomenal. Thank you for this
Now you know why Jojo didn't end up with the wrong person like Sun Oh
Am i toxic 😀
Or 😅
That's a really warm relationship for me. And i don't know why the girl always should pretend she's a sad princess??😅
In real life ...yeah it's toxic
But in k dramas
That's what i want to see
You should see doctor srsly.
I am happy that there still are many mature people telling their opinion in comments at first i thought i was the only one who thought that these are symptoms of toxic relationship the thing is there are many young people (like teenagers or kids like 12-13 i am 12½ btw) i haven't watched all episodes of true beauty but i find boys over flowers really toxic and possesive still that drama is in all time fav list 🤷♀️ and whenever male lead kiss female lead forcefully the directors most of the time put romantic songs so that audience got to know that yea this is a romantic situation sometimes some dramas cross the limit
So I'm not the only one who thought Sun-oh from Love Alarm 2 acted toxic? Like, he kissed Jojo without her consent. And he did that in season 1 too.
Please watch my others video on this topic
This video needs an award ..... literally ...I loved all these drama but some scenes were problomatic ...
boys over flowers is SOO TOXIC like the male lead was so aggressive and toxic , i couldn't even finish the drama because it would get so mad & uncomfortable whenever he would try to force the girl to kiss him.
its so sad how dramas make it seem that jealousy and being in a toxic relationship is a good or cute thing when in reality ITS NOT
I think people favour them because it’s so romanticised
3:08 I love dongyeons character in my id is gangnam beauty. When eunwoo held mirae's arm, dongyeon stopped eunwoo instead of holding miraes hand without her consent, which is what u unfortunately usually see in kdramas.
Sadly, violence against women is frequently shown in almost all soap operas and dramas around the world. K-dramas are no exception. There is really nothing glamorous about any of this, period.
In Another Miss Oh, the main woman character told to his partner to not to grab her like she’s just an object. But idk why there were a scene where they were physically fighting like pushing each other? Idr but maybe they were both toxic to each other
The way Song Kang fans boycotted Love Alarm S2 just because his toxic a$$hat if a character didn't get the girl makes me wanna poke my eyes out. 😑😑😑
Marie TB out here doing the Lord's work. Well done!
In others words, I’m so proud of the main female lead of Love Alarm for settling for the man who does not force a kiss or demand an apology. I get it, Song Kang is attractive but why were there so many people rooting for him?
I felt half of the scenes were toxic. But I didn't realize the others are also toxic because they are the lead actors. Only after watching this video I realized. Thanks for making this video
Idk why people choose the second lead in extraordinary you..like he is hella toxic while on the other hand the main lead haru was like a dream boyfriend....if you watch the drama you'll know how perfect and sweet haru's character was...its like the second lead who is caring and respects the female lead..but people still have second lead syndrome in this drama saying its not his fault..like okay but still the fact remains same haru was the perfect character
Ikrrrr haru best boi.
these shows portray a really wrong image of love, making some guys believe that toxic masculinity is good and many girls to think being submissive and enduring such kind of violent behavior is normal.
Réel Life Women no Lucky ship toxic 🤢😪😕😕😕
Who are those 105 peoples who don't like this video maybe having those abusive and violent behavioural traits in them ,stay away and be alert
You know you should also make a video in female leads are being toxic because I think every coin has its two sides.
You're perfect 😭 thanks so much for all the effort you put into reediting this video. Both versions are really nice thanks to your hard work ♥️
Heir and boys over flowers was shocking
This.... this is an eye opener. I literally like all these dramas because of these scenes. Wth is wrong with me 😳
Could you tell me th drama names please?
@@keniamariacastillo1868 all the drama name are given in the description. Is u blind 😁😘