I served in Ireland in the mid ninety's, I look back and I still love the country the culture and the people even though they were NOT receptive to what we had to say. I had a couple months left and received word from my mission pres that my Dad had been killed in an accident. Pres was very concerning and loving and Gave me the option to stay or go home. I chose the heroic thing to do at the time in my mind and chose to stay. I felt good about my decision at first, then I was left in a secluded area with just my comp who I could tell felt awkward about the situation and was not helpful to me at all. I felt very alone and started to regret my decision to stay, but was told to stay close to my father in heaven cus he would comfort me. At which point I decided to stick it out cus the funeral was over and thought what's done is done. I've grown resentful over the years as I look back at this situation, not that it would have brought my father back or whatever, just that I missed out on the last two years of his life.
That is so incredibly sad. I have heard many stories like yours and it wrong for church leaders not to encourage you to go home to lay your father to rest.
I’m 16 almost 17 and the reality that I’m going to have to tell my parents I don’t believe in this church and I don’t want to go on a mission is getting dangerously close. I wish the church would stop saying that boys are obligated to serve missions cause it causes so much stress and anxiety in young men. I’m so glad I found this channel cause now I know for sure I’m making the right decision to leave this church the second I turn 18
Just say "NO!" The society away from the family and clan of churhies is so much more full of life and experiences. Don't subject yourself to it. If you feel you must serve, Peace Corps or other places are much more sane.
Hi Ross, 18 years of age is an expected transition period from kid to responsible young adult in the minds of parents! Do yourself a favor and save some money for a rainy day. Days after high school parents can drop an ultimatum on their kids, a mission, college or military! I played a lot of sports so I was blind sided by the transition! money is power; if you don't plan to be sent on a mission against your will, have an exit strategy! If you don't, you may be blind sided or find yourself bowing to your parents will not just for a mission but for most of your life, or leaving under stress in survival mode! Gotta love parents, but they can be dictators in their own house! If you really want out, plan and save for it. I hope your parents are understanding but if they are not, money provides security, and allows one the freedom to walk if necessary!
*not advice or anything, just something to think about* Jeremy Runnels wrote down his doubts all in 1 place and asked people to help him see they aren't that big a deal. They couldn't answer his questions, but at least it helped people who he spoke to to maybe see that his concerns were reasonable. He wrote the CES Letter I don't know your family or ward, so I'll not tell you if you should or shouldn't do something. It's your choice. But if you have no idea how to approach the situation with your parents, maybe just be honest. (I'm not saying you _have to_ be honest. Only saying it's one good option. Probably the best option.) One way to do that is to just write all your doubts down in 1 place and openly tell your parents that these are your worries and you can't get past these doubts without them. If I'm honest, I have seen too much about the church now to think they will be able to resolve the questions. You could maybe ask them to answer these questions, but if nothing else, it's probably a noble goal to just explain that you have doubts and those doubts are reasonable
When I was a teenager, the pressure was so much, that I felt horrible for not wanting to go. I tried to convince myself. In the end I couldn’t go on one for very personal reasons and I was made feel like such a failure. Either way, happy, cult free and gay for the past 6 years 💖
If you haven't already, you should check out Jimmy Snow's channel - he's Ex-Mormon and queer and fantastic. He's talked a lot about how much pressure he felt regarding missions even though his health prevented him from going on one - it sounds like you might relate! So happy you're free from that world!
That stories about the missions not providing food or beds or their missionaries made me feel physically sick! My nephew was assigned to a very rough neighborhood in New York. It was very dangerous. He came home from his mission and now has PTSD and severe anxiety. My oldest son told me he did not want to serve a mission and I am so glad! I hope his brother will not want to go either.
Which mission was your nephew assigned to? The NY south mission or the NY north mission? I served my mission in the NY South and even tho us sister missionaries were assigned to the safest areas I can assure you that even those areas were dangerous, I feel bad for the poor elders.
I work as a cashier and heard a man ask his son, 'Don't you want to put this money back for your mission?' The kid was about maybe 8 years old. He looked up at his dad and said, "NO!" Apparently, he had gotten some birthday money. I felt sorry for the kid but happy that he had said no.
Going on a mission was extremely toxic for me. I wish I'd never gone. My sis had just died and I think that, even though I told myself I was going because I wanted to, I really went to escape my grief. It made the depression and anxiety disorder I have worse and I feel like I still struggle from it. I never got support, but instead was ignored and told to pray my issues away.
My brother was sent out two weeks after my mom passed away. He came home 3 weeks later he had a complete breakdown. He has felt guilt for years about not staying out. Im the only one out of the church in my family it gets a bit lonely.
"Is this guy chill or is he a wacko?" This is probably one of the worst things about being a missionary. You can be stuck with a complete psycho for 24/7 over 6 to 12 weeks.
Sleep walking is caused by a soul not being at rest.. no mater what the psychiatrist tells yo- this poor young man was under a huge amount of stress. I have witnessed a sweet little boy under 6 who was aso stressed out because of his parents fighting/ going through a divorce, that he acted the same way- sleep walking and talking in his sleep.
holy shit this is not okay. it breaks my heart how many kids are brainwashed and sent out into potentially dangerous and life-threatening situations. we need to keep up this conversation, thank you so much lex. you're awesome ❤❤
My brother regrets going on his mission too. Thanks for bringing a counter point to those ads. I get them all the time. Love it when Brendan joins you! 🥰
When I just about to graduate High School I decided that Mormonism was way to invasive in my personal life and being pressured to go on a mission.... I walked away. Glad I did after hearing this. UGH!
My aunt served a mission in the Philippines in the early 80's. She ended up having a severe appendicitis while there. Before this when she was having horrible pain she asked to be checked out and even asked to go home and return when she was well. She was given massive guilt trips to stay so she did. Her appendix burst and she had emergency surgery in a hut in a village and was told she needed to be out again preaching with days. She has struggled with infections infections gastro issues since this. My grandparents didn't know about any of this until she told them months later!
I hear so many stories like this. It happened to my 2 sisters too. They still suffer with health issues. One had to quit her teaching job & is fully disabled because of what happened on her mission. Severe malnutrition caused her permanent neuro health problems.
@@katbos4995 that is so incredibly sad. My cousin in law was sick with the flu for months on his mission and was told he just needed to pray more and be a more faithful missionary in order to get better. He would send home tapes he recorded of him talking instead of letters and there were so many where he literally sounded like he was on his deathbed. It's extremely dangerous and irresponsible of an organization claiming to love all its members beyond measure.
Kassi Truex : Sadly, this cult has $100 billion (not including the temples & buildings), yet they literally starve & do not give medical treatment to missionaries.
@@katbos4995 I think that's what makes me even more livid about these situations. You had 24 carat painted in a thin line around the ceiling of the brides room in the Gila Valley Temple but you couldn't send an appropriate and liveable amount of money to the young men and women trying to brainwash people into your cult?! It's so, so sad!
Kassi Truex : It’s not my cult. They excommunicated me when I married my wife 🌈 Yes, that is totally sick they use real gold from child slave labor in the mines in Africa to paint the temples, yet allow missionaries to starve...and single parents and poor families to starve too.
When I was 18, I got my first tattoo. About a year after I got it, she asks me “so I guess you don’t want to go on a mission?” I told her “what the hell are you talking about? Obviously” Needless to say, she started using the guilt trip and started to cry. No mother, I’m not going.
My husband (an ex mo now) served in England 🏴 He was homeschooled so his mission helped him develop social skills and discipline. We are hoping to visit there next year!
The amount of pressure I had from my mom my senior year was killing me. I DID NOT WANT TO GO. I had zero desire. I truly thought I would be disowned or kicked out. My aunt and uncle both on my dads side both talked to me in a very loving way. Each of them told me “if you go, we will love you. If you don’t go, we will love you the same.” They knew I wasn’t the most social kid. They probably could see I didn’t want to go. That really helped me out when they told me that. That actually did give me a lot of clearance talking to them but I wish I could’ve had the strength to tell my mom I didn’t wanna go. She had such a stronghold of the church on me mainly out of all the siblings (6 of us) Now she’s more understanding the past years. She’s not even active herself. It’s that whole “I need my son to go to make me look better.” Our relationship is a lot better now. I regret not standing up for myself and saying I didn’t wanna go. I regret a lot of things in the mission. We were pretty much raised to not disobey and if we did we were “grounded.” I was raised by “authoritarian parents.” Their main defense is “because I said so.” So being raised like a dog to walk away with our tail between our legs. Never being able to stand up for myself. As well as my siblings. I had good experiences on the mission and horrible experiences. I never knew I had Bipolar disorder till last year. Having depression...other missionaries thought we were just lazy. I didn’t even know I had depression till years later. If I could go back in time. I wouldn’t have gone. The amount of control, fear, shame, and guilt out there drove me insane. Elders just wanted power and numbers. Now I will say my 2nd mission president was truly amazing! He really helped me out. I still respect that man to this day. He never made me feel guilty. It was always the other elders that did that. I also laugh whenever there’s a mission reunion in Utah...I’m like dude we didn’t serve there. Why the hell would I go there? (That was back in 2007)I was a Southern California missionary. Do what you wanna do. Don’t let others make you feel bad or manipulate you. I wonder how I would’ve been had I not gone on a mission. Now I deal with “religious OCD”(scrupulosity) it’s absolutely horrible. I’m doing a lot better since I’ve stepped away from church. I don’t want to go to another church, or any church. I know I’m a good man. I do my own thing and give my best to myself and others. If God does exist I think I’ll be ok living my life that way.
You are so amazing! I figured out how terrible Mormonism is two weeks ago and I was really surprised (I’m still a minor so I can’t leave :/) but you definitely helped me understand how that it’s ok that I want to leave and when my family judges me I’ll be ok and they’ll come to terms with it ✨
If you haven't already, you should check out Jimmy Snow, Telltale, and Zelph on the Shelf's channels - they're wonderful and have a ton of content about leaving high demand religions. Wishing you all the best!
@@thatonestarman4127 Finding happiness in this journey is all about being true to one's self. It takes more energy to be someone you are NOT. If ANYONE dares to TELL you what your happiness requirements are, kindly but FIRMLY say, you have your OWN journey to fulfill, work on that, not on my purpose.
I know three things about my dad's mission: 1) It was in Italy 2) He came home with a really good pasta recipe 3) He and one if his companions and the two other missionaries they shared an apartment with for a bit used the bidet in their bathroom as a fishbowl for a pet fish. I don't remember where they got the fish from. I don't know if he has any mission horror stories bc he was trying to get me and my siblings to think going on a mission was the best thing ever. I hope that my baby brother can avoid going in a mission when he's old enough; I think I just might lose it if he ends up having to go through that kind of hell.
I'm an ExMo, but I loved my mission. Mission was difficult and a couple of companions were challenging and the pressure to perform was very "corporate", but it was an experience that was good for me---the same way I feel now about my 3 years in the military. As good for me as both were, I'd NEVER do either one again...EVER!! The worse part for me, of serving a mission came about as an ExMo, years later when it dawned on me that I had spread LDS *BS* to hundreds of innocent people. The good news is...I heard that all of my 13 baptisms had left Mormonism....which is better than the average. I've heard that out of every 100 people joining Mormonism these days, 2/3rds leave or go inactive after about 2 years. The more the "truth" proliferates, the closer to 100% that figure will become. Praise gawd...
I really wanted to serve a mission because I wanted to see the world and learn a new language. Turns out you don't need to serve a mission to do those things! So glad I never went.
My Dad was a mission leader 3 times...Was the best time for me and him in the church....Our house was full of missionaries couple times a week.The young guys and Women were more often than not hungry, needing socks, shoes and slept in cold digs (as they called them)....These young people enjoyed the warmth of our family,enjoyed the fun we added to their mission....The missionaries most often that not, have just left school,they have never been in the real world....Its a shock for them...We loved them all,but couldnt help them all, so many struggled.....I no longer go to church, but cant help the pull, I wish I could shake it off........Still Love to all missionaries x x
My my entire family left the church about 30 years ago (except me, I'm a slow poke, I served a mission and was a temple ordinance worker). My brother recently wanted church assistance during covid and used his daughter as the pawn in his game. He had the missionaries over to teach his daughter and she hated them and would call me crying because she didn't want to get baptized or see the missionaries anymore. The whole situation upset me. Btw, I struggled deeply on my mission. While in the MTC as I was struggling where others weren't with the language, my teacher sat me down and asked if my barrier to learning could be a result of some past sin that I hadn't repented of. 😢😡 While in the field, my companion and I were in an area without access to a phone, electricity, transportation, nearby hospital or communication with other missionaries. Mind you, we were sister missionaries who were also being followed and stalked in the dark by men with machetes, knives and guns. The A.P.'s would stop by once a week to see if we were alive and give us a weekly ration of water and report to the President how we were doing. By one time they had arrived it was nearly too late for me. I was deathly sick and having a breakdown. I had to go to a hospital in the country for awhile and then back to the states in the hospital on medical leave. When I was reassigned for a stateside mission, that mission president met with me and told me right away that they don't tell him why missionaries transfer but historically they have been for behavioral reasons and that he'll watch me closely 😏. Ugh. I'm so sick of the whole church guilting people to serve and then making people feel unworthy if something isn't going right. This mission that I transferred to, the elders were going to graveyards and getting names off tombstones and using them as baptisms. The baptism rate waa really high for a long time until an area authority caught on. Haha. For me, personally, it took covid for me to step away from the church and see how truly alone you are as a single person. No one is going to come help or save you unless you have family and posterity. This should be called The Church of Married Saints, especially since the focus is on marriage on family. I sacrificed everything in my life as a gay woman. I gave up the chance to be a mother. To be married. I served in the temple for years even when I didn't feel comfortable, just hoping for the day that I would. I have taken the time during covid when I've been sick and alone when no one would come and help me because they didn't want to get their families sick to study church history and other religions and to try and fill in the holes in my testimony and the voids in my life. So far, I am just staying away and isolating from everyone as I don't trust the church anymore. I don't know if I want to trust living authentically and enjoy the freedoms of some things due to the engrained guilt from brainwashing, but for now I will not continue to be brainwashed. That's where I stand.
You seem brave and strong and wise. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and allow yourself to question. I hope your confusion passes and the joy of the mystery of life finds you soon. I’m sorry you had to go through mud to find clear water.
One year later I saw your post about your mission. I.goy a head injury on mine and was not allowed to see a doctor. I had some medical training and knew I was in trouble. Then I was sexually violated. I was told I had not been violated and that if I talked about it Satan would be after me. More and more shit happened to cover up the abuse. I was homeless for two and a half years. Finally I got a counselor. My medial records says I lost my cookies because of the way I was treated on my mission. Of course mormon church denies it all.
A thing I noticed on myself, was that I got the unconscious habit of convincing (lying) myself of spiritual experiences or miracles, and I testified about them in sacrament meetings, Sunday school, priesthood meetings, etc. I wanted to be like the “the good missionaries” around me. But like your husband said the only good experiences were those when we provided service without trying to get something in return (a few times the whole 2 years) and those of friendships I made. And 20 year later I still have nightmares of being called to serve a second mission.
I only served for 13 months due to a back Injury where I herniated 5 discs. When I told my parents I couldn’t finish due to the pain, I was told that I was a sinner, I was bringing shame and embarrassment upon my family, I would regret it for the rest of my life, that I would be a failure the rest of my life if I failed to put the lord first. I was even told that “it would be better to see our son return home in a casket, then to come home early from serving the lord” Yeah, I’m 34 now and still dealing with the mental issues I developed over serving a mission. My resentment for the church and my parents faith still hurts me to my core to this day. Serving a mission was one of my greatest regrets of my life, and I only wish I had left the church sooner. Ps, I officially announced to my parents I was leaving the church just this year, it didn’t go well to say the least. P.S.S keep up the great content, many people like myself have found a lot of healing from listening to other people’s experiences and stories. Thank you!
Ex-Mormon, here: since getting free, of the LDS cult, my spiritual growth has been amazing! I am finding ANSWERS to QUESTIONS that Mormonism hasn't even thought of!
@@mikeyant2445 For instance: John chapter 3, Nicodemus asks Jesus: "These miracles you are performing, how are they done?" In other words, could Jesus teach Nicodemus how to do miracles? A few chapters later, Nicodemus is listed among the disciples of Jesus, learning how. Questions, and answers, like that.
I had such a horrible time that I didn't talk about it for nearly 25 years. Went through my "faith-crisis" and opening up about how miserable I was at the same time. Wonderful for the family to deal with that. Made it through though.
Hi, Truth is, the missionary experience doesn't end by returning home and being released! It can take years to rectify the psychological damage! And returning home to family members so unaware of the nightmare you just experienced, is like reliving the the completion of the temple Endowment, having just experienced participating in symbolically slitting your throat, your chest and your stomach with your thumb , and then being welcomed in the celestial room of the temple by ones family and friends! Were talking sickness to the n power of infinity, for all you math majors! And the most amazing thing about the whole experience is their selective blindness to it! The desire to believe can be a very dangerous, dark necessity in religious people.
My mom and I are not on speaking terms because of her abuse towards me, but I do remember when missionaries came she would make sure they had food and other things they needed. She’s very much a ‘serve while people watch so I can get compliments’ kind of person, I do remember her going out of her way for missionaries specifically, and I’m sure they were very grateful for that. I live in Utah so it is much more common here to help, but she sure did go above and beyond sometimes
Mormon missionaries visit me often. They are hoping to convert me but they won’t be successful. They are so kind and delightful and are the same ages as my adult children so I try to mother them a bit. Thank you for your content. It helps me understand what these young people have to go through. As a Christian, I do want to help them any way I can. I think of their parents and how they must worry about these sweet girls. 😁❤️
Videos with Brendan are the best. I have so many stories from my missions and nothing but regrets about going or staying. It gave me dozens and dozens of examples of how uninspired the church leadership is. Eventually that is what led me to exit the church. If they aren't inspired, what's the point of the church?
I got really sick on my mission and needed some testing. I called the mission president (who was a physician) and it took a long time to convince him to let me go to the doctor. He literally told me that he didn't think it was worth spending the church's money on because my condition wasn't covered by the churches insurance. It's funny how I blocked that out from my mission memories. Not that I enjoy dwelling on the "negative" but I appreciate how this video helped me remember some things that I can now process.
My mission was a train wreck. Serving in Ohio my money was wasted, I digressed in my social growth, cried myself to sleep for the first time, and thought about cutting myself (I stopped before it got that far) but yeah pressure to baptize and feeling like trash. Worst 2 years ever. There is so much more. Ugh so awful!
Hi, Yeah, my mission was soooooo depressing, I couldn't continue to write in my journal about half way thru. Just counted the day for the nightmare to end! Seriously, one would think the ACLU would step up and sue the Mormon Church for its behavior towards its missionaries! But they typically are under so much pressure, they don't speak up!
I remember hearing a story at church where there son was sent on a foreign mission and got murdered. There second son was sent to the same mission and was also murdered. Then the last son was sent on the same mission and was wildly successful. I remember thinking wow I wish I was that faithful.I don’t know if the story was true or not but still messed up.
The food starvation story sounded common in my mission in Mexico. We all eventually got individual accounts and bi-monthly deposits because of those types of issues. Before that, only zone leaders had accounts and received the deposits. We had zone leaders, district leaders and senior companions stealing money from junior missionaries( never saw it first hand but I knew those accused of it by multiple missionaries). I knew of zone leaders who refused to push for larger allotments for missionaries in remote areas where members aren’t feeding them just because they saw them eating in a restaurant just one time.
I straight up told my bishop that I didn’t pan on serving a mission and he went on to tell me that most 18 year olds don’t do anything with their lives and 2 years isn’t that long. If only he could see what I’ve made of myself over the last 2 years
I experienced the LDS church through a Samoan upbrining in Salt Lake and a Samoan ward where sacrament meeting was in Samoan. I abandoned my dream of joining the Navy to be the first Elder in my family. My mission was mainly humanitarian, I was in a 3rd world country so it became part of what we did. So I cant complain, I actually loved my mission. My problems with the church came from after my mission at home. I came out as gay and my bishop was the first person I came out to. He was suprisingly supportive, but made it clear that if membership was what I still desired the church requires I abstain from homosexual activity. I chose myself in the end and I can say I am happier than I was before.
one thing that shocked me seriously: when I was in Meerane, Germany, I met two missionaries of the LDS. It was visible that they were underweight. I guess rhey hadn't eaten for weeks. Their clothes had double the width of their bodys. It's so irresponsible to send missionaries without even knowing how they are going to survive?!?
I loved the ending testimony. I’m a Brit and ending up serving in the UK...yeah really exotic. At one point the area I was serving in was about an hour drive from home. Like so many others, not a great experience though nowhere as dangerous as some. One thing it did do was de-convert me. We were out late one evening knocking on doors and getting nothing but grief and I remember the moment when I thought that this whole thing is just BS. Properly leaving the church took a while longer (minor complications) but I stopped going over 10 years ago and I’ve not missed it.
Growing up singing those songs. On top of watching movies like the nest two years. Serving a mission was drilled into my mind from when I was a kid. And I mean while I didn't serve a preaching mission. I served a service one and after the six months. I just went to a singles ward but I constantly felt outta place. It wouldn't be till I moved out to Boise. That I was starting to veer away from the church.
Story #5 gave me terrible flashback to my trainer. she was one of those "visionary" missionaries and would claim that the spirit told her exactly what to do whenever we prayed and berated me for not being able to listen to the spirit when I told her I received nothing. I can't believe I let her gaslight me into thinking I was the crazy one.
Dude, sisters are brutal. There's like an extra layer of cattiness. My trainer was the worst and I just let her treat me like garbage because I was trying to be more "Christlike". I would sing "Be Thou Humble" to myself whenever she was rude.
I still have nightmares about the door to door evangelism programs I was part of. The whole thing gave me awful PTSD. It's like a mix of LDS mission and Jehovah's Witness literature evangelism. My mental health completely crumbled, not to mention my physical health. Same thing happened with several friends of mine that went through it with me that I've kept in touch with.
Thanks for sharing stories like this it is extremely cathartic. I really try not to think back on my mission much because it had so many horrible experiences. I am trying really hard to try to incorporate some of the few good things that happened to me in Mexico. I am trying to not feel so shattered and disjointed about the different seasons of my life and the memories of my mission are certainly extremely painful. they really do take all that is wholesome and beautiful and distort it into violence against the soul.
How is "conversion" to a corporation a spiritual experience? If you have to PAY to be accepted. That is the basis of the theme. Come to the "true" church, PAY to get to the highest level, and support the corporation. Most people who INVEST in a corporation get a financial dividend, not condemnation for NOT achieving worthiness.
I live in utah and anytime anyone mentions city creek it takes me a minute to know what they mean. My family just calls it The Great And Spacious Building 🤷♀️
@@mylesmarkson1686 same as the money changers in the temple long ago. Follow the profits, it reveals the TRUTH in most everything. The bottom line is rarely wrong unless of course they are cooking the books.
I lived next door to two missionaries when I was 19 and in college. They talked with me in passing often and then about the church, but when I expressed that I wasn't interested, they told me they couldn't talk to me, even in passing. It was weird to have them completely ignore me in passing.
I went on a mission to England. I probably would not have gone but I felt the cultural pressure to go. I grew up in northern Utah nearly 100% mormon. My big brother went, I thought if I didn't I would be a failure and never get past it for the rest of my life. I went, I did fine, it probably put the first cracks in my shelf. I left the church 5 years after my mission.
This brings back so many bad memories. Haha! Depression was such a huge problem that no one would address when I was out there in the early 90's. I was in France so we would be told to f@#$ off about 100 times a day. Despite this our mission president tried to coerce us to make "covnenants" to baptize people. I told him I wouldn't do it. I asked if that meant damnation for us if we didn't achieve the promised baptisms. He said, well yes. He was like 33 and was on some kind of fast track for apostle. He was a complete D-bag and the day I got on the plane home was one of my happiest days. It felt like I had done a tour of duty.
My husband (who has been back from his mission for like 6 years now) still wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after having a nightmare that he has been forced to go back into the mission field. He absolutely hated the MTC with a fiery passion because of how robotic everyone became and he doesn't like to sing but the singing of hymns was just about all that anyone had to do for fun so they did it constantly.
I get so tired of people who claim that The Church doesn't do any harm, and then we read countless examples like this where it clearly does a lot of harm to a lot of people that impacts them for years. It shows that people are only gonna see what they want to see. And (as your story illustrates) it's all about turning its loyal ignorant followers into clones, and if you stray even a little bit, you're succumbing to the devil's temptations and need to get back in line. It is pure brainwashing, and they're damn good at it.
@@chrisbaker595 Although your sarcasm is obvious, no, talking to people about Jesus was not what bothered him about the mission. The knowledge that he couldn't come home no matter what, unless he wanted to face severe rejection was difficult, he had companions who were extremely hard to deal with, he wasn't allotted very much money for groceries so he often felt hungry and tired from a lack of sleep. My brother was also held at gunpoint and robbed and beaten while on a mission in S. America. Regardless of the worst experiences, everyday life for missionaries can suck. I know that your response to this will likely be dismissing and rude but this was a person's experience and there's good and bad in missions and sometimes the bad can be traumatizing. Feel free to troll elsewhere.
I never thought I'd feel guilty because nothing stupid crazy or dangerous happened on my mission... I'm just so grateful now that I only had a handful of baptisms...
my boyfriends little brother is about to go out on a mission, literally going in to the MTC within a matter of days. my boyfriend went on a mission but came home early because his companion was abusive. we’re both so nervous for him to go out, and have been stressed through the whole process of it. my boyfriend has been reliving his trauma, and it’s so scary to think of his sweet brother dealing with everything that comes along with missions
I grew up evangelical/fundie-light and have found exmo content to be really helpful in my deconstruction. Our churches had some big differences, but the cultural stuff and the *way* that doctrine is handled are full of parallels. I’m also the grandchild of missionaries, and I’ve done a lot of grappling with the troubling aspects to what they did. But my god, Mormon mission stories really make me appreciate the seriousness of my grandparents’ mission training and support. The idea of kids being sent off to do this work is horrifying to me. Or having all mission work being done short term. My grandparents were career missionaries. Grandpa trained for three years, Grandma for one, and they were expected to be fully committed, long term, to being fully a part of the fabric of the community they served. But they were supported in return. Until their kids got to be school age, they lived in a rainforest village with an indigenous tribe. They taught them the gospel, but also about how to contact and communicate with the government that was giving their land away to oil companies, helping them gain the tools needed to speak up for their rights. They brought in and administered vaccines and helped deliver babies, because they didn’t have the right to preach to anyone unless they were also contributing those practical things. And the mission agency would air drop supplies and shelf-stable foods to them because that was of vital importance. The Mormon mission model, on the other hand, just seems so shallow and…dilettante. All while managing to make extraordinary demands if the young people doing the work.
My husband had a jerk companion. My husband told him to be nicer and got slapped for it. So wonderful.... Please do a video of you reviewing the movie. That would be awesome! My husband bought me a mug from your store that says "worthy." Best birthday present ever!
In High School I served two summer missions for two weeks each in San Diego and the first was the summer Star Wars first came out. Both times it was driven into us to get baptisms and memorize the script you give people. The idea was do anything you want as long as you get a baptism. My two summer missions were very different neither bad nor good, but then I was a good Mormon boy at the time. The first time, I arrived at the apartment and a lady came over and said, “Hey guys Elvis died!” We had 4 men sharing an apartment for two. Two 20 somethings and two High School boys. The other two found a place to sleep so just myself and the companion in the apartment but the other two stopped by to eat and rest on occasion. The hardest part was fast and testimony day and smelling/watching one of us cook dinner and not being able to nibble. It was just myself and other High School boy out on our own and casually talking along the way we both admitted to masturbating and he was concerned about how to tell his Bishop. I remember a church lady that had us over quite a bit and fed us, her house always seemed to be crowded with male missionaries. The Second time, I had my own car and we put lots of miles on it looking back perhaps to many miles. The apartment was bigger then the previous summer so the four of us stayed and slept in it. The only thing I can clearly remember was the Bishop asking me to teach the Gospel Essentials class and I said yes. Reviewed the material all week. That Sunday I was taken to the proper room in the building and it was packed. I started in the lesson and I swear 5 minutes later I ran out of material, but kept going. When class was over the Bishop told me what a fantastic job I did and asked if I wanted the job every Sunday. I turned him down because my proper ward was some 50 miles away. Both summer missions a favorite topic was “how many baptisms have you had?” And spent time like a bunch of old ladies gossiping over the topic. When I was a Priest the Bishop asked me point blank if I was a Homosexual and I said No. Then he asked, “Do you know what a homosexual is?” I had to admit I did not so he told me. Later the same Bishop had a meeting with my parents about calling me on a mission. Much later in life Mom told me they wanted to send you to the middle of Africa (eek). He called me in and asked me to go on a mission then included “If you go and do something you should not I won’t be able to protect you and you’ll be excommunicated and sent home.” I turned him down saying I’ve still got to over come this. This is when I started to fall away from the church. Later I stumbled upon a Gay Mormon Group and finally came to terms with being gay. I wanted to blast the closet doors open but Mother was all “no one has to know and forced the closet doors almost closed!” In the end, I was still closeted at home but not out in public. Mother was always inviting the Missionaries over to eat, so even though I was not active I still knew them. One day I was at the grocery store picking up a few things and ran into our local missionaries. Knowing all they had were bikes and lots of groceries I gave them a ride home. Helped them carry up the food to the apartment. Four 20-something missionaries sharing a two-bedroom place. One of them looked a bit like Rob Lowe who had just gotten into trouble recording a sex session. I sat on the couch and one of them brought over a soda and sat on the other end of the couch then said, “This makes into a bed so if you want we can have a big old but fucking.“I was still not used to being out of the closet and though what would mom say if they told her and said see you around and left. They also showed me a Polaroid of 3 of them naked in the shower in a buts to nuts pose! They had an older setting with the funny glass so you can’t see the details now I wish I still kept the photo! The family more or less became inactive and the Missionaries stopped coming by sometime later I found out the church had really changed the rules regarding anything even appearing that hinted at gay sex. Decades later I started going back to church (really, really long story), and dam why do those Missionaries have to look so sexy. Mother was still around and she loved the company, so they would come over and teach/chat with us. Mother passed on and the missionaries kept coming around, so I asked them for help. Finally, I’m free to decorate and be who I want. Hanging from the upper kitchen doors are hand towels with positive messages on them my way of dealing with my chronic depression. One of the hand towels is a rainbow heart and over the top says “Love is love!” I had a free-standing pantry and they offered to put it together for me so I said yes. Told them they can take the shirts off so they don’t get dirty but they said no. Out of the blue one of them said, “I have LGBTQ friends back home!” I said, “Wish I could get to know them!” Then I turned to his companion and asked, “What about you?” He did not hear a word of what we said and then said no I don’t know any of them!” The partner was so out of it that we could have wandered off to the bedroom and had a bit of fun and the partner never would have known. I now have a gay pride flag hanging on the living room wall and I’ll point black and tell them I’m gay. I do it to let them know it is perfectly fine to be LGBTQ no matter what the church says!” I don’t want to get any of them into trouble and sent home but yet I make it clear. When they do come over to “teach” I always hijack the conversation and talk to them about the history and key events. I still go to church from time to time and I always talk to the missionaries and offer them dinner or lunch if they want but the ward keeps them fed and busy. I have asked the elders, “How many baptisms have you had?” The reply today is “We are here to help the ward the baptisms are not that important.” The Church seems to swap them out quite a bit now! I suspect it is to prevent any potential gay missionary relationships.
Thank you for this. I served in Denver from 1987-1989. I remember a zone leader lying about his college experience. A district leader proclaiming that there was wickedness in the zone. I especially identify with the missionary in Mexico. I was assigned to an area near 49th and Peoria. Our curfew was sunset due to a murder in our apartment complex.
My late husband served a mission from 1972 to 1974 in Germany and at that time missionaries gave out not only the Book of Mormon but also a copy of Doctrine and Covenants. I think eventually they quit doing that because of all the contradictions between the two books. They were told by their mission president that most of the Doctrine and Covenants were only "applicable to members" and that once they got people baptized THEN they could read a copy of it themselves. They were also told at the MTC that when one elder took a shower they needed to leave the bathroom door open so they would not be tempted to "pleasure themselves" while in the bathroom!! Unbelievable. He came out of it relatively unscathed but said it was one of the worst experiences of his life. Although he said the people there were very very kind and invited them in for meals on a regular basis so at least they had food to eat!
I am a little late to the party, but I have kind of a fun story to share - I served in northern Mexico and some days the heat would be unbearable from 3pm to 4pm so my companion and I would go to a nearby park and sit on a bench, if no spots were available I'd look fore a teenage couple and approach them in the cringest way possible, sometimes I'd just say "did you know that Jesus Christ wants you to be together forever", after a 5 minute conversation the couple would leave and my comp and I would get a bench.
My main experience with Mormon missionaries was quite a lovely time, and yet it ended in a really sinister manner. When I was at University in the Northeast of the UK around the turn of the millenium, I lived in a shared house with a number of house-mates. We were generally chill people, of a number of different 'non standard' faiths. Atheist, Pagan, Wiccan, even a Discordian, but no zealousness in our beliefs. As students, we loved talking philosophy and stuff, and finding out new things. But, as with most people, we generally did not like doorstop proselytizers. In fact, our policy was to invite them in and then **** with them (Our favourite targets were Scientologists, as there was a big Dianetics Temple in the city). And one day, the doorbell rang and it was two Mormon Missionaries. So we did what we usually do, and invited them in. And, I am going to say it. Those two lads impressed us. They didn't come across as being weird or intense like Scientologists and Jehovah's Witnesses are. They were polite, friendly, and really nice fellows. We sat in our front room, drank tea, ate biscuits and chatted about faith and philosophy for about an hour, then they left. They came back quite a few times over the coming days and weeks, even though we're sure it became very obvious that we were not going to be converted, and we always had a great time talking 'shop', asking questions, both us to them and them to us. And over time we noticed they started to be relaxed when they came round. They'd loosen their ties when they came in, sit properly on the couch and chairs, not perch on the edge. We even played a few wholesome video games with them (Music rhythm games like Vib Ribbon or Parappa the Rapper, or driving games). They were just great, sociable experiences, and gave us all a really good view of the Mormon Faith, and even though a lot of it sounded like a con job (We were told about the gold plates and the seer stones, but not the rock and hat thing)., we never confronted them over the seeming inanity of it, because we didn't have the heart to possibly upset them. Like I say, they were so 'gosh darn nice'. We liked them. Then one day when they were due to visit, we opened the door to two new fellows, who seemed to have a rather frosty demeanour towards us, which took us by surprise due to how friendly and nice the previous pair had been. When we asked after the others, the new pair told us they had gone 'back to Utah to restudy the scriptures'. This was not unexpected, as the original pair we liked had told us it was a limited time thing, but the next thing the new ones told us made the whole thing seem really ominous and sinister. They told us that this was the last time we would be contacted by any members of their church, and then they left. The whole thing felt so creepy, wrong and foreboding. We felt so guilty over this. Although we had never made any attempt to **** with those nice lads, or even attempt to mess with their faith, the implication seemed to be that simply being friendly and hospitable to them, and treating them like we would any other friendly visitor, had caused them to be sent back home for 're-education'. The thought of those nice guys being in trouble was horrible to us. The only plus side was it got us forever blacklisted and we were never bothered on the doorstep again. It's kind of eye opening to think that simply by being normal and friendly, and engaging in what to us were wholesome, non confrontational everyday activities, we were probably perceived as being devilish tempters, and a house of cunning Satanists bent on leading good god-fearing folk astray.
My mission was perhaps a couple of day that were memorable, but mostly terrifying as I am an introvert and would be so anxious talking to people. It was horrible. I was also assaulted by my companion and by then I just wanted to go home. On another time I broke my collar bone and my mission president still made me go out and ride my bike and work as normal. Did not get proper care for the brake and now, I have a crappy weak shoulder because my bone did not heel properly.
I love watching your videos. The only hard part is that I'm so sad my grandson will probably go through this. I wish there was something I could do to save him from this brainwashing.
Many even ex members, like myself, look back on their missions with fondness. I have to say it was a positive experience. I made many friends and loved visiting Canada. I now have children have and haven't serviced missions. Each to their own
The beds story in Mexico was commonly said in my mission in Northern Mexico. In fact, my mission president was reprimanded for spending money on beds and other essentials early on. If we wanted a phone, our mission president wanted us to negotiate it as part of our rental contract ( our rental allotments were ridiculously low). Also, In my Mexican mission we were constantly told that we could only see the mission approved doctors (but were least allowed to travel to them). We often had members that would tell us to just use the local socialized Healthcare system but our mission president would reprimand those missionaries if he found out.
(Not my mission, but still) When my mother and all my sisters left the church, my grandparents were so devastated they decided to do an elderly couples mission as retribution for our "mistake". Although that just meant they were assigned to do paperwork for no pay in the temple, they also were a part of the MC program and it's funds. Funds that were nonexistent when my grandpa got sick and for 2 years couldn't go to the doctors because my grandpa couldn't pay for it and the church refused to pay for a simple doctor's visit. My grandpa soldiered through the abdominal pain and increasing symptoms. When the mission was over and my grandpa finally got a doctor's appointment, he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, which could have been caught and treated at any point during the last 2 years. My grandpa died believing he did all he could to try to reconvert us and that the church did everything they could to help him.
Hey I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all that you do. I had to present to my class about my life and I quoted one of your tiktok's to help explain least i could of what i went/am going through. Thank you again So Much
My step sister and her family are all TBMs. I've never been a member of the LDS church, having grown up a mainstream evangelical Christian. Her youngest son left for his mission, arriving in Curitiba, Brazil a couple of days ago. I sincerely hope he has a better experience than two of his siblings. His eldest sister served in Panama. All of her posted letters were sweet like eating an entire bottle of caramel, but the poor girl was living off mac & cheese and lost a lot of weight while she was there. The other brother who served was sent to the Philippines. I honestly don't think he's capable of learning a second language well enough to handle it...he was lucky. His mission was interrupted by COVID. He ended up finishing his mission in the US. I don't understand why a church would treat their missionaries so poorly. My experiences both with meeting missionaries from my own churches and serving short missions has always been that missionaries live as those they are serving, but they would never be denied having basic needs like a safe place to sleep, food, and healthcare. We also tend to hire a native translator where appropriate and available. That ensures missionaries are fully able to communicate with those they are meant to serve and vice versa. It also helps out the translators and seems to help missionaries form friendly relationship with those around them. Based on the stories I've heard thus far, LDS missionaries don't at all fit what I've come to understand as a missionary. I'm not surprised to hear stories of those who leave the church at some point after serving an LDS mission base and have great respect for those who are able to make that break, regardless where there spiritual journey may lead. Thank you so much for your insightful videos. ❤
Sheesh, what her husband suffered during the last couple months of his mission is horrifying! I was never going to go on a mission but this definitely deals the deal for me.
Definitely life changing, but not in the way they sold it. I feel for the guy who said he went hungry. I had the same thing, the only time in my entire life that I have ever actually been hungry without enough food was in the "care" of the church on my mission. They didn't give us enough money either and I had to call home several times on my mission to ask for money for food, and I felt terrible about it because I had to break the rules just so I didn't go hungry.
It's strange hearing these stories because in Oregon we got more money than we needed. I returned a bunch of leftover money to my president at the end.
my brother served a mission in 1999-2001. He was an athlete (on an olympic swim team) and he went on a mission as a means of going into hiding from massive gambling debt scandal - he was threatened that his legs would get busted if he didnt pay - so, he told his coach who generously paid the debt then kicked him off the team. everyone was shocked he went because he "chose to serve the lord instead of following his olympic dreams". no one ever knew the real reason why he chose to go, so in mormon circles he seemed like a real hero. its always been funny to me that not one single leader had any discernment about his intentions - he said it was the worst time of his life. also, he told me that he was so poor that him and a companion would regularly sell their blood plasma. good times
I was one of the last generations of sister missionaries who had to wear skirt 24/7. That alone is a ridiculous request, since we had to bike, hike, and be able to sit down anywhere for a lesson. Not to mention my entire mission was basically me vs mosquitoes. I couldn't sleep some nights because of the bites covering my legs. And it was too hot to wear pantyhose AND garments. I would've gotten heatstroke. In fact, I DID pass out several times from exhaustion and low blood sugar.
Good to see your husband. Would be cool to see him some more. Yeah - I either experienced myself or heard stories of all those experiences myself from my mission. I was SO glad to get back after those two miserable years. Wish I had never gone, but the pressure to go was INTENSE!
Please stop feeling guilty about the proselytizing you did at any time. Every single one of us on this planet is in a learning mode, and our challenges are what our lives are about. We are to keep learning and trying and doing better, no one is perfect, and no one has the answers. The fact that you keep caring and learning and trying makes you as righteous as you need to be. I’m 64YO, and I recently for gave my parents and ancestors for their mistakes because we were all just children learning, despite our different ages. No one was ever told the right answers, and when you believe in the commandment “honor thy father and thy mother,“ you never progress as a society. I always thought that commandment was written by a bad dad. Peace to you, you are doing really well, do not look back and blame yourself because you cannot change the past, none of us can and we have all made mistakes. Love to you both.🥳❤️🤷🏻♀️
I had a companion that only served a mission because his girlfriend wouldn't marry someone who wasn't a return missionary. He tried sleeping through the majority of his mission.
I remember the elders in my area had no money for groceries. They got $30 per week, sometimes less. Our bishop had to go out and buy food for them and take it out of fast offering.
Hello! Who was the guy who mentioned "philippines" from story #2 I wanna know that guy so bad because i could tell that he is pretty accurate about the things he was saying. I am from the philippines and I served for a period of 6mos and decided to go home because of my mental health, it was so toxic that I thought of taking my own life. Toxic treatment by my MP. I hate it.
When I joined the church as a young adult I was an ordinary heterosexual single Aussie man. Yet, some members and certain homophobic leaders in the church would make innuendos and show contempt towards gay people in society. I went to church for moral support and fellowship yet I noticed that were many pretentious hypocrites who were quick to judge others based on negative stereotypes in society. I noticed that members would never speak to me or make eye contact for some unknown reason. I always felt uneasy and wary going to church on Sundays. Then after five years I had enough of their BS and left. I joke about it to people that it is The Joseph Smith Church.
Man, when I was 19 it was a "commandment" so if you didn't go you were being disobedient. I didn't go until I was 20 because I just didn't want to. I will say that I had mostly good experiences and I do not regret that I went, but the pressure was way more than just "oh it'll be good." It was more like "If you don't go, you are breaking god's commandments." I felt guilty most of the time I was out there because I always felt like I was never doing enough. I didn't baptize enough people because I didn't have enough faith and was not as obedient as I should have been. I had a very good president though and I think that's not always the case.
My experience was similar. It was hammered several times over that a mission was a priesthood “DUTY” and not optional. I also had some good times and bad and don’t regret going. I won’t be doing it again though, once was enough.
Oh my gosh just hearing these stories makes me so happy I didn't let my so go on a mission, After seeing the missionaries through the years and what they went through I just couldn't let him go, I took care of all my missionaries the best I could, I kept them fed and always sent them home with bags of groceries because I knew they went days with out being fed, can't even tell you how many times that calander wen't around with blank days, I just knew I couldn't let him go through that, funny thinking about some of our missionaries we had one that just came for a visit hadn't seen her in over 20 years and she brought her family for us to meet, we've kept touch on phone and fb but this was the first visit from her, we did get a visit from another but she was from about 8 years ago, I will alway talk to the missionaries but there wont be anymore lessons heck i'd even feed them but it wont be for the church.
Thanks for this video. It helped me realize that many many RM experience what I do: discomfort and shame about ever having done that. Plus why do I have so few good memories? It was supposed to be such a great time and instead I got driven like a slave and ground down BY THE Mission president.
This was such a great episode. THANX for all the people that sent in their stories. THANX to the adorable couple that presented them. The artwork on the bearded human (Brendan? Brenden? Brendon? ...) looks amazing. Maybe it's too personal, but it would be nice to see the tattoos up close and the meaning behind them, again, if it's not too personal. Artwork looks amazingly detailed.
Being a convert I didn't feel the pressure till later in life. I REALLY wanted sex like most guys, but thought I would not be "blessed" with a Wife unless I went on a mission. So I highly anticipated my Patriarchal Blessing thinking that God would give me a clue whether I should go or not. Sure enough all I got was a vague mention that I " had a mission to fulfill in life". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Just life in general, or specifically a MISSION MISSION?? Well I decided to er on the side of going and the rest is history. Like your hubby there were good times and bad times. Times with a lot of fellowship, and times I thought about stealing the Zone Leaders car so I could escape to the Airport. LOL! I have a ton of stories too. Ah well, I don't regret it really. I learned a lot, but I often wonder what would have become of me had I not gone. KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT LEXY!!
I wasn't a Mormon but my best friends growing up were. For several months I on and off went to services, until one day when we were discussing the Mormon history of baptism through this cheesy video. I had a lot of questions and the person teaching the lesson mostly deflected what I had asked. After the service I saw my friends parents talking to him for a long time. I was never asked to join them on Sundays again. I was 11...
I went on a mission to Raleigh North Carolina too! I despised it, I feel that hated is not a strong enough word for the way I felt. I was there in the 90's. Do they still have asinine rules like wearing plain color socks with no design and wearing a suit coat at all times even when it is 95 degrees F and 90 percent humidity?
@@ocularpatdown8196 I was never near Raleigh. I was in Mebane, Whiteville, Fayetteville and the Wilmington/Shallotte areas. The people in North Carolina are great, very friendly and generous. They didn't want to listen to anything we had to say about the church but they would still talk to us and be friendly. One of the reasons I hated my mission was because I had some health problems. I also had severe allergies to all the vegetation there. I was treated like they were my problem and the mission president/ church didn't give a shit about helping me or doing anything to alleviate my suffering. We don't want to help you at all but you better damn well do everything we say and follow the rules 100 percent is how I felt treated. I asked to go home and my mission president actually told me that all my problems were because I wasn't working hard enough and masturbating. The mission president was dead wrong, but I was too embarrassed and brainwashed to obey the leaders that I didn't confront him about his assertions. My mission president is dead now but If I ever met him after my mission I would have punched him in the face. He was an asshole who only cared about numbers and strict obedience to every single rule. He berated the whole mission at every zone conference because the baptism numbers dropped by half when he became the mission president.
I served in Ireland in the mid ninety's, I look back and I still love the country the culture and the people even though they were NOT receptive to what we had to say. I had a couple months left and received word from my mission pres that my Dad had been killed in an accident. Pres was very concerning and loving and Gave me the option to stay or go home. I chose the heroic thing to do at the time in my mind and chose to stay. I felt good about my decision at first, then I was left in a secluded area with just my comp who I could tell felt awkward about the situation and was not helpful to me at all. I felt very alone and started to regret my decision to stay, but was told to stay close to my father in heaven cus he would comfort me. At which point I decided to stick it out cus the funeral was over and thought what's done is done. I've grown resentful over the years as I look back at this situation, not that it would have brought my father back or whatever, just that I missed out on the last two years of his life.
Omgosh, that's so sad and touching. I'm sorry you had to go through that. 🥺☹️
That is so incredibly sad. I have heard many stories like yours and it wrong for church leaders not to encourage you to go home to lay your father to rest.
As they should not be receptive, nobody should be receptive to the Mormon church in any way shape or form.
I’m 16 almost 17 and the reality that I’m going to have to tell my parents I don’t believe in this church and I don’t want to go on a mission is getting dangerously close. I wish the church would stop saying that boys are obligated to serve missions cause it causes so much stress and anxiety in young men. I’m so glad I found this channel cause now I know for sure I’m making the right decision to leave this church the second I turn 18
Just say "NO!"
The society away from the family and clan of churhies is so much more full of life and experiences. Don't subject yourself to it. If you feel you must serve, Peace Corps or other places are much more sane.
Hi Ross,
18 years of age is an expected transition period from kid to responsible young adult in the minds of parents! Do yourself a favor and save some money for a rainy day. Days after high school parents can drop an ultimatum on their kids, a mission, college or military! I played a lot of sports so I was blind sided by the transition! money is power; if you don't plan to be sent on a mission against your will, have an exit strategy! If you don't, you may be blind sided or find yourself bowing to your parents will not just for a mission but for most of your life, or leaving under stress in survival mode! Gotta love parents, but they can be dictators in their own house! If you really want out, plan and save for it. I hope your parents are understanding but if they are not, money provides security, and allows one the freedom to walk if necessary!
*not advice or anything, just something to think about*
Jeremy Runnels wrote down his doubts all in 1 place and asked people to help him see they aren't that big a deal. They couldn't answer his questions, but at least it helped people who he spoke to to maybe see that his concerns were reasonable.
He wrote the CES Letter
I don't know your family or ward, so I'll not tell you if you should or shouldn't do something. It's your choice. But if you have no idea how to approach the situation with your parents, maybe just be honest. (I'm not saying you _have to_ be honest. Only saying it's one good option. Probably the best option.)
One way to do that is to just write all your doubts down in 1 place and openly tell your parents that these are your worries and you can't get past these doubts without them.
If I'm honest, I have seen too much about the church now to think they will be able to resolve the questions. You could maybe ask them to answer these questions, but if nothing else, it's probably a noble goal to just explain that you have doubts and those doubts are reasonable
You can do it. Scary as hell, but necessary. In coming years you may laugh at yourself for making such a big deal of it.
Maybe the experience of these 2 could help 👍🏼
ua-cam.com/video/Kve2qyK3QHo/v-deo.html
When I was a teenager, the pressure was so much, that I felt horrible for not wanting to go. I tried to convince myself. In the end I couldn’t go on one for very personal reasons and I was made feel like such a failure. Either way, happy, cult free and gay for the past 6 years 💖
Adopt me? 😅😭
If you haven't already, you should check out Jimmy Snow's channel - he's Ex-Mormon and queer and fantastic. He's talked a lot about how much pressure he felt regarding missions even though his health prevented him from going on one - it sounds like you might relate! So happy you're free from that world!
This happened to me too. I was shunned for not going even.
@@thatonestarman4127 awwee 💖💖💖
@@azuradawn5683 I’ll definitely check it out thanks! 💖
That stories about the missions not providing food or beds or their missionaries made me feel physically sick! My nephew was assigned to a very rough neighborhood in New York. It was very dangerous. He came home from his mission and now has PTSD and severe anxiety.
My oldest son told me he did not want to serve a mission and I am so glad! I hope his brother will not want to go either.
Which mission was your nephew assigned to? The NY south mission or the NY north mission? I served my mission in the NY South and even tho us sister missionaries were assigned to the safest areas I can assure you that even those areas were dangerous, I feel bad for the poor elders.
I work as a cashier and heard a man ask his son, 'Don't you want to put this money back for your mission?' The kid was about maybe 8 years old. He looked up at his dad and said, "NO!" Apparently, he had gotten some birthday money. I felt sorry for the kid but happy that he had said no.
Going on a mission was extremely toxic for me. I wish I'd never gone. My sis had just died and I think that, even though I told myself I was going because I wanted to, I really went to escape my grief. It made the depression and anxiety disorder I have worse and I feel like I still struggle from it. I never got support, but instead was ignored and told to pray my issues away.
My brother was sent out two weeks after my mom passed away. He came home 3 weeks later he had a complete breakdown. He has felt guilt for years about not staying out. Im the only one out of the church in my family it gets a bit lonely.
@@taramama6658 wow!
"Is this guy chill or is he a wacko?" This is probably one of the worst things about being a missionary. You can be stuck with a complete psycho for 24/7 over 6 to 12 weeks.
Sleep walking is caused by a soul not being at rest.. no mater what the psychiatrist tells yo- this poor young man was under a huge amount of stress. I have witnessed a sweet little boy under 6 who was aso stressed out because of his parents fighting/ going through a divorce, that he acted the same way- sleep walking and talking in his sleep.
@@sthorson3955 A soul not being at rest? Forget what the experts say? Wow.
I was with someone for 18 weeks. Thankfully he was a really cool guy.
holy shit this is not okay. it breaks my heart how many kids are brainwashed and sent out into potentially dangerous and life-threatening situations. we need to keep up this conversation, thank you so much lex. you're awesome ❤❤
Amen!!! In my case with lds church, I opposed going on a mission. I was forced to quit my mormon job and was homeless as a result.
I try to be kind and nice with the church missionaries because I know it can be very hard and lonely. I think it's the right thing to do.
I try to be kind and nice to salesmen that come to my house too.
Pretty much the only thing that made my mission bareable was the members that were nice to us
My brother regrets going on his mission too. Thanks for bringing a counter point to those ads. I get them all the time. Love it when Brendan joins you! 🥰
When I just about to graduate High School I decided that Mormonism was way to invasive in my personal life and being pressured to go on a mission.... I walked away. Glad I did after hearing this. UGH!
My aunt served a mission in the Philippines in the early 80's. She ended up having a severe appendicitis while there. Before this when she was having horrible pain she asked to be checked out and even asked to go home and return when she was well. She was given massive guilt trips to stay so she did. Her appendix burst and she had emergency surgery in a hut in a village and was told she needed to be out again preaching with days. She has struggled with infections infections gastro issues since this. My grandparents didn't know about any of this until she told them months later!
I hear so many stories like this. It happened to my 2 sisters too. They still suffer with health issues. One had to quit her teaching job & is fully disabled because of what happened on her mission. Severe malnutrition caused her permanent neuro health problems.
@@katbos4995 that is so incredibly sad. My cousin in law was sick with the flu for months on his mission and was told he just needed to pray more and be a more faithful missionary in order to get better. He would send home tapes he recorded of him talking instead of letters and there were so many where he literally sounded like he was on his deathbed. It's extremely dangerous and irresponsible of an organization claiming to love all its members beyond measure.
Kassi Truex : Sadly, this cult has $100 billion (not including the temples & buildings), yet they literally starve & do not give medical treatment to missionaries.
@@katbos4995 I think that's what makes me even more livid about these situations. You had 24 carat painted in a thin line around the ceiling of the brides room in the Gila Valley Temple but you couldn't send an appropriate and liveable amount of money to the young men and women trying to brainwash people into your cult?! It's so, so sad!
Kassi Truex : It’s not my cult. They excommunicated me when I married my wife 🌈 Yes, that is totally sick they use real gold from child slave labor in the mines in Africa to paint the temples, yet allow missionaries to starve...and single parents and poor families to starve too.
When I was 18, I got my first tattoo. About a year after I got it, she asks me “so I guess you don’t want to go on a mission?” I told her “what the hell are you talking about? Obviously”
Needless to say, she started using the guilt trip and started to cry. No mother, I’m not going.
My husband (an ex mo now) served in England 🏴 He was homeschooled so his mission helped him develop social skills and discipline. We are hoping to visit there next year!
Stay home.
We still have Trump... his copy any rate as a prime minister.
The country is a hot mess.
The amount of pressure I had from my mom my senior year was killing me. I DID NOT WANT TO GO. I had zero desire. I truly thought I would be disowned or kicked out. My aunt and uncle both on my dads side both talked to me in a very loving way. Each of them told me “if you go, we will love you. If you don’t go, we will love you the same.” They knew I wasn’t the most social kid. They probably could see I didn’t want to go. That really helped me out when they told me that.
That actually did give me a lot of clearance talking to them but I wish I could’ve had the strength to tell my mom I didn’t wanna go. She had such a stronghold of the church on me mainly out of all the siblings (6 of us) Now she’s more understanding the past years. She’s not even active herself. It’s that whole “I need my son to go to make me look better.” Our relationship is a lot better now. I regret not standing up for myself and saying I didn’t wanna go. I regret a lot of things in the mission. We were pretty much raised to not disobey and if we did we were “grounded.” I was raised by “authoritarian parents.” Their main defense is “because I said so.”
So being raised like a dog to walk away with our tail between our legs. Never being able to stand up for myself. As well as my siblings.
I had good experiences on the mission and horrible experiences. I never knew I had Bipolar disorder till last year.
Having depression...other missionaries thought we were just lazy. I didn’t even know I had depression till years later. If I could go back in time. I wouldn’t have gone. The amount of control, fear, shame, and guilt out there drove me insane.
Elders just wanted power and numbers. Now I will say my 2nd mission president was truly amazing! He really helped me out. I still respect that man to this day. He never made me feel guilty. It was always the other elders that did that.
I also laugh whenever there’s a mission reunion in Utah...I’m like dude we didn’t serve there. Why the hell would I go there? (That was back in 2007)I was a Southern California missionary.
Do what you wanna do. Don’t let others make you feel bad or manipulate you. I wonder how I would’ve been had I not gone on a mission. Now I deal with “religious OCD”(scrupulosity) it’s absolutely horrible. I’m doing a lot better since I’ve stepped away from church. I don’t want to go to another church, or any church. I know I’m a good man. I do my own thing and give my best to myself and others. If God does exist I think I’ll be ok living my life that way.
I'd like to bare my testimony..i know the church is through
I wish haha
😁😁😁😁
SLAMS
I think u meant thorough.
Amen
You are so amazing! I figured out how terrible Mormonism is two weeks ago and I was really surprised (I’m still a minor so I can’t leave :/) but you definitely helped me understand how that it’s ok that I want to leave and when my family judges me I’ll be ok and they’ll come to terms with it ✨
If you haven't already, you should check out Jimmy Snow, Telltale, and Zelph on the Shelf's channels - they're wonderful and have a ton of content about leaving high demand religions. Wishing you all the best!
@@azuradawn5683 thank you I’ll have to check them out (:
Are you saying they don't respect your agency?
@@anarchisttutor7423 welcome to being a Mormon teenage girl lol plus they think that theres no happiness outside the church so like 🤷♀️
@@thatonestarman4127 Finding happiness in this journey is all about being true to one's self. It takes more energy to be someone you are NOT. If ANYONE dares to TELL you what your happiness requirements are, kindly but FIRMLY say, you have your OWN journey to fulfill, work on that, not on my purpose.
I know three things about my dad's mission:
1) It was in Italy
2) He came home with a really good pasta recipe
3) He and one if his companions and the two other missionaries they shared an apartment with for a bit used the bidet in their bathroom as a fishbowl for a pet fish. I don't remember where they got the fish from.
I don't know if he has any mission horror stories bc he was trying to get me and my siblings to think going on a mission was the best thing ever. I hope that my baby brother can avoid going in a mission when he's old enough; I think I just might lose it if he ends up having to go through that kind of hell.
My nephew went to the Phillipines and his partner tried to kill him. He asked his Dad if he could come home and he said NO. The mormons are awful.
I'm an ExMo, but I loved my mission. Mission was difficult and a couple of companions were challenging and the pressure to perform was very "corporate", but it was an experience that was good for me---the same way I feel now about my 3 years in the military. As good for me as both were, I'd NEVER do either one again...EVER!!
The worse part for me, of serving a mission came about as an ExMo, years later when it dawned on me that I had
spread LDS *BS* to hundreds of innocent people.
The good news is...I heard that all of my 13 baptisms had left Mormonism....which is better than the average.
I've heard that out of every 100 people joining Mormonism these days, 2/3rds leave or go inactive after about 2 years.
The more the "truth" proliferates, the closer to 100% that figure will become. Praise gawd...
I really wanted to serve a mission because I wanted to see the world and learn a new language. Turns out you don't need to serve a mission to do those things! So glad I never went.
My Dad was a mission leader 3 times...Was the best time for me and him in the church....Our house was full of missionaries couple times a week.The young guys and Women were more often than not hungry, needing socks, shoes and slept in cold digs (as they called them)....These young people enjoyed the warmth of our family,enjoyed the fun we added to their mission....The missionaries most often that not, have just left school,they have never been in the real world....Its a shock for them...We loved them all,but couldnt help them all, so many struggled.....I no longer go to church, but cant help the pull, I wish I could shake it off........Still Love to all missionaries x x
My my entire family left the church about 30 years ago (except me, I'm a slow poke, I served a mission and was a temple ordinance worker). My brother recently wanted church assistance during covid and used his daughter as the pawn in his game. He had the missionaries over to teach his daughter and she hated them and would call me crying because she didn't want to get baptized or see the missionaries anymore. The whole situation upset me.
Btw, I struggled deeply on my mission. While in the MTC as I was struggling where others weren't with the language, my teacher sat me down and asked if my barrier to learning could be a result of some past sin that I hadn't repented of. 😢😡
While in the field, my companion and I were in an area without access to a phone, electricity, transportation, nearby hospital or communication with other missionaries. Mind you, we were sister missionaries who were also being followed and stalked in the dark by men with machetes, knives and guns. The A.P.'s would stop by once a week to see if we were alive and give us a weekly ration of water and report to the President how we were doing. By one time they had arrived it was nearly too late for me. I was deathly sick and having a breakdown. I had to go to a hospital in the country for awhile and then back to the states in the hospital on medical leave. When I was reassigned for a stateside mission, that mission president met with me and told me right away that they don't tell him why missionaries transfer but historically they have been for behavioral reasons and that he'll watch me closely 😏. Ugh. I'm so sick of the whole church guilting people to serve and then making people feel unworthy if something isn't going right. This mission that I transferred to, the elders were going to graveyards and getting names off tombstones and using them as baptisms. The baptism rate waa really high for a long time until an area authority caught on. Haha.
For me, personally, it took covid for me to step away from the church and see how truly alone you are as a single person. No one is going to come help or save you unless you have family and posterity. This should be called The Church of Married Saints, especially since the focus is on marriage on family. I sacrificed everything in my life as a gay woman. I gave up the chance to be a mother. To be married. I served in the temple for years even when I didn't feel comfortable, just hoping for the day that I would. I have taken the time during covid when I've been sick and alone when no one would come and help me because they didn't want to get their families sick to study church history and other religions and to try and fill in the holes in my testimony and the voids in my life. So far, I am just staying away and isolating from everyone as I don't trust the church anymore. I don't know if I want to trust living authentically and enjoy the freedoms of some things due to the engrained guilt from brainwashing, but for now I will not continue to be brainwashed. That's where I stand.
You seem brave and strong and wise. Allow yourself to feel what you feel and allow yourself to question. I hope your confusion passes and the joy of the mystery of life finds you soon. I’m sorry you had to go through mud to find clear water.
I am so sorry to hear of all of these horrible experiences you have dealt with.
One year later I saw your post about your mission. I.goy a head injury on mine and was not allowed to see a doctor. I had some medical training and knew I was in trouble. Then I was sexually violated. I was told I had not been violated and that if I talked about it Satan would be after me. More and more shit happened to cover up the abuse. I was homeless for two and a half years. Finally I got a counselor. My medial records says I lost my cookies because of the way I was treated on my mission. Of course mormon church denies it all.
A thing I noticed on myself, was that I got the unconscious habit of convincing (lying) myself of spiritual experiences or miracles, and I testified about them in sacrament meetings, Sunday school, priesthood meetings, etc. I wanted to be like the “the good missionaries” around me. But like your husband said the only good experiences were those when we provided service without trying to get something in return (a few times the whole 2 years) and those of friendships I made. And 20 year later I still have nightmares of being called to serve a second mission.
I only served for 13 months due to a back Injury where I herniated 5 discs. When I told my parents I couldn’t finish due to the pain, I was told that I was a sinner, I was bringing shame and embarrassment upon my family, I would regret it for the rest of my life, that I would be a failure the rest of my life if I failed to put the lord first. I was even told that “it would be better to see our son return home in a casket, then to come home early from serving the lord”
Yeah, I’m 34 now and still dealing with the mental issues I developed over serving a mission. My resentment for the church and my parents faith still hurts me to my core to this day.
Serving a mission was one of my greatest regrets of my life, and I only wish I had left the church sooner.
Ps, I officially announced to my parents I was leaving the church just this year, it didn’t go well to say the least.
P.S.S keep up the great content, many people like myself have found a lot of healing from listening to other people’s experiences and stories. Thank you!
Ex-Mormon, here: since getting free, of the LDS cult, my spiritual growth has been amazing! I am finding ANSWERS to QUESTIONS that Mormonism hasn't even thought of!
Such as?
@@mikeyant2445 For instance: John chapter 3, Nicodemus asks Jesus: "These miracles you are performing, how are they done?" In other words, could Jesus teach Nicodemus how to do miracles? A few chapters later, Nicodemus is listed among the disciples of Jesus, learning how.
Questions, and answers, like that.
@@starguy2718 but what makes you think any of that actually happened?
@@acetrades1524 cuz she believes in God, you dum dum
@@hannahmarie6848 yes, professor obvious, I know that, I'm asking why.
I had such a horrible time that I didn't talk about it for nearly 25 years. Went through my "faith-crisis" and opening up about how miserable I was at the same time. Wonderful for the family to deal with that. Made it through though.
Hi,
Truth is, the missionary experience doesn't end by returning home and being released! It can take years to rectify the psychological damage! And returning home to family members so unaware of the nightmare you just experienced, is like reliving the the completion of the temple Endowment, having just experienced participating in symbolically slitting your throat, your chest and your stomach with your thumb , and then being welcomed in the celestial room of the temple by ones family and friends! Were talking sickness to the n power of infinity, for all you math majors!
And the most amazing thing about the whole experience is their selective blindness to it! The desire to believe can be a very dangerous, dark necessity in religious people.
My mom and I are not on speaking terms because of her abuse towards me, but I do remember when missionaries came she would make sure they had food and other things they needed. She’s very much a ‘serve while people watch so I can get compliments’ kind of person, I do remember her going out of her way for missionaries specifically, and I’m sure they were very grateful for that. I live in Utah so it is much more common here to help, but she sure did go above and beyond sometimes
Mormon missionaries visit me often. They are hoping to convert me but they won’t be successful. They are so kind and delightful and are the same ages as my adult children so I try to mother them a bit. Thank you for your content. It helps me understand what these young people have to go through. As a Christian, I do want to help them any way I can. I think of their parents and how they must worry about these sweet girls. 😁❤️
When I have the missionaries over, I just spoil them rotten because I feel so sorry for them.
Videos with Brendan are the best. I have so many stories from my missions and nothing but regrets about going or staying. It gave me dozens and dozens of examples of how uninspired the church leadership is. Eventually that is what led me to exit the church. If they aren't inspired, what's the point of the church?
What the hell??? How is that legal for the church to do??? How can they send practical kids and leave the to starve?
I personally loved my mission, but I definitely agree that it's become too "one size fits all," and businesslike rather than compassion, faith-based.
Every time I see a missionary at the library I'm like, "you guys good? Need me to call someone, buy you food?" I feel so bad for them.
I got really sick on my mission and needed some testing. I called the mission president (who was a physician) and it took a long time to convince him to let me go to the doctor. He literally told me that he didn't think it was worth spending the church's money on because my condition wasn't covered by the churches insurance. It's funny how I blocked that out from my mission memories. Not that I enjoy dwelling on the "negative" but I appreciate how this video helped me remember some things that I can now process.
My mission was a train wreck. Serving in Ohio my money was wasted, I digressed in my social growth, cried myself to sleep for the first time, and thought about cutting myself (I stopped before it got that far) but yeah pressure to baptize and feeling like trash. Worst 2 years ever.
There is so much more. Ugh so awful!
Hi,
Yeah, my mission was soooooo depressing, I couldn't continue to write in my journal about half way thru. Just counted the day for the nightmare to end! Seriously, one would think the ACLU would step up and sue the Mormon Church for its behavior towards its missionaries! But they typically are under so much pressure, they don't speak up!
I served in Cleveland from 01-03.
@@joelwerly9552 I don't like Cleveland.
I remember hearing a story at church where there son was sent on a foreign mission and got murdered. There second son was sent to the same mission and was also murdered. Then the last son was sent on the same mission and was wildly successful. I remember thinking wow I wish I was that faithful.I don’t know if the story was true or not but still messed up.
The food starvation story sounded common in my mission in Mexico. We all eventually got individual accounts and bi-monthly deposits because of those types of issues. Before that, only zone leaders had accounts and received the deposits. We had zone leaders, district leaders and senior companions stealing money from junior missionaries( never saw it first hand but I knew those accused of it by multiple missionaries). I knew of zone leaders who refused to push for larger allotments for missionaries in remote areas where members aren’t feeding them just because they saw them eating in a restaurant just one time.
😢
My younger sister is going, I’ve told her not to and it caused problems so I don’t want to stress the situation anymore, I hate it
Love when you have your husband on! I would be interested in hearing more about his time at the MTC and how it really changes/brainwashes people.
I straight up told my bishop that I didn’t pan on serving a mission and he went on to tell me that most 18 year olds don’t do anything with their lives and 2 years isn’t that long. If only he could see what I’ve made of myself over the last 2 years
I experienced the LDS church through a Samoan upbrining in Salt Lake and a Samoan ward where sacrament meeting was in Samoan. I abandoned my dream of joining the Navy to be the first Elder in my family. My mission was mainly humanitarian, I was in a 3rd world country so it became part of what we did. So I cant complain, I actually loved my mission. My problems with the church came from after my mission at home. I came out as gay and my bishop was the first person I came out to. He was suprisingly supportive, but made it clear that if membership was what I still desired the church requires I abstain from homosexual activity. I chose myself in the end and I can say I am happier than I was before.
Thank you! It's so important to know the truth about missions. It's so, so hard! Thank you to everyone who shared.
one thing that shocked me seriously: when I was in Meerane, Germany, I met two missionaries of the LDS. It was visible that they were underweight. I guess rhey hadn't eaten for weeks. Their clothes had double the width of their bodys. It's so irresponsible to send missionaries without even knowing how they are going to survive?!?
I loved the ending testimony. I’m a Brit and ending up serving in the UK...yeah really exotic. At one point the area I was serving in was about an hour drive from home. Like so many others, not a great experience though nowhere as dangerous as some. One thing it did do was de-convert me. We were out late one evening knocking on doors and getting nothing but grief and I remember the moment when I thought that this whole thing is just BS. Properly leaving the church took a while longer (minor complications) but I stopped going over 10 years ago and I’ve not missed it.
Growing up singing those songs. On top of watching movies like the nest two years. Serving a mission was drilled into my mind from when I was a kid. And I mean while I didn't serve a preaching mission. I served a service one and after the six months. I just went to a singles ward but I constantly felt outta place. It wouldn't be till I moved out to Boise. That I was starting to veer away from the church.
Story #5 gave me terrible flashback to my trainer. she was one of those "visionary" missionaries and would claim that the spirit told her exactly what to do whenever we prayed and berated me for not being able to listen to the spirit when I told her I received nothing. I can't believe I let her gaslight me into thinking I was the crazy one.
Dude, sisters are brutal. There's like an extra layer of cattiness. My trainer was the worst and I just let her treat me like garbage because I was trying to be more "Christlike". I would sing "Be Thou Humble" to myself whenever she was rude.
I still have nightmares about the door to door evangelism programs I was part of. The whole thing gave me awful PTSD. It's like a mix of LDS mission and Jehovah's Witness literature evangelism. My mental health completely crumbled, not to mention my physical health. Same thing happened with several friends of mine that went through it with me that I've kept in touch with.
Thanks for sharing stories like this it is extremely cathartic. I really try not to think back on my mission much because it had so many horrible experiences. I am trying really hard to try to incorporate some of the few good things that happened to me in Mexico. I am trying to not feel so shattered and disjointed about the different seasons of my life and the memories of my mission are certainly extremely painful. they really do take all that is wholesome and beautiful and distort it into violence against the soul.
How is "conversion" to a corporation a spiritual experience? If you have to PAY to be accepted. That is the basis of the theme. Come to the "true" church, PAY to get to the highest level, and support the corporation. Most people who INVEST in a corporation get a financial dividend, not condemnation for NOT achieving worthiness.
Monson didn't serve a mission. Nelson didn't server a mission, Eyring, Uchtdorf, Oaks, none of these men served a mission.
I live in utah and anytime anyone mentions city creek it takes me a minute to know what they mean. My family just calls it The Great And Spacious Building 🤷♀️
That's their real "holy land". It's where they get all of their profits!
I stopped shopping at City Creek after I found out it was owned by the church. I love calling it that!
@@mylesmarkson1686 same as the money changers in the temple long ago. Follow the profits, it reveals the TRUTH in most everything. The bottom line is rarely wrong unless of course they are cooking the books.
I lived next door to two missionaries when I was 19 and in college. They talked with me in passing often and then about the church, but when I expressed that I wasn't interested, they told me they couldn't talk to me, even in passing.
It was weird to have them completely ignore me in passing.
I went on a mission to England. I probably would not have gone but I felt the cultural pressure to go. I grew up in northern Utah nearly 100% mormon. My big brother went, I thought if I didn't I would be a failure and never get past it for the rest of my life. I went, I did fine, it probably put the first cracks in my shelf. I left the church 5 years after my mission.
This brings back so many bad memories. Haha! Depression was such a huge problem that no one would address when I was out there in the early 90's. I was in France so we would be told to f@#$ off about 100 times a day. Despite this our mission president tried to coerce us to make "covnenants" to baptize people. I told him I wouldn't do it. I asked if that meant damnation for us if we didn't achieve the promised baptisms. He said, well yes. He was like 33 and was on some kind of fast track for apostle. He was a complete D-bag and the day I got on the plane home was one of my happiest days. It felt like I had done a tour of duty.
My husband (who has been back from his mission for like 6 years now) still wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after having a nightmare that he has been forced to go back into the mission field. He absolutely hated the MTC with a fiery passion because of how robotic everyone became and he doesn't like to sing but the singing of hymns was just about all that anyone had to do for fun so they did it constantly.
Your full grown husband has night terrors about talking to people about Jesus?
I get so tired of people who claim that The Church doesn't do any harm, and then we read countless examples like this where it clearly does a lot of harm to a lot of people that impacts them for years. It shows that people are only gonna see what they want to see. And (as your story illustrates) it's all about turning its loyal ignorant followers into clones, and if you stray even a little bit, you're succumbing to the devil's temptations and need to get back in line. It is pure brainwashing, and they're damn good at it.
@@mylesmarkson1686 I didn’t tell a story..? I asked a question..
@@chrisbaker595 Although your sarcasm is obvious, no, talking to people about Jesus was not what bothered him about the mission. The knowledge that he couldn't come home no matter what, unless he wanted to face severe rejection was difficult, he had companions who were extremely hard to deal with, he wasn't allotted very much money for groceries so he often felt hungry and tired from a lack of sleep. My brother was also held at gunpoint and robbed and beaten while on a mission in S. America. Regardless of the worst experiences, everyday life for missionaries can suck.
I know that your response to this will likely be dismissing and rude but this was a person's experience and there's good and bad in missions and sometimes the bad can be traumatizing. Feel free to troll elsewhere.
@@brookelyn4828 your dudes soft ma’am. That’s it. Nothing more. It’s okay.
I never thought I'd feel guilty because nothing stupid crazy or dangerous happened on my mission... I'm just so grateful now that I only had a handful of baptisms...
my boyfriends little brother is about to go out on a mission, literally going in to the MTC within a matter of days. my boyfriend went on a mission but came home early because his companion was abusive. we’re both so nervous for him to go out, and have been stressed through the whole process of it. my boyfriend has been reliving his trauma, and it’s so scary to think of his sweet brother dealing with everything that comes along with missions
I grew up evangelical/fundie-light and have found exmo content to be really helpful in my deconstruction. Our churches had some big differences, but the cultural stuff and the *way* that doctrine is handled are full of parallels. I’m also the grandchild of missionaries, and I’ve done a lot of grappling with the troubling aspects to what they did. But my god, Mormon mission stories really make me appreciate the seriousness of my grandparents’ mission training and support. The idea of kids being sent off to do this work is horrifying to me. Or having all mission work being done short term. My grandparents were career missionaries. Grandpa trained for three years, Grandma for one, and they were expected to be fully committed, long term, to being fully a part of the fabric of the community they served. But they were supported in return. Until their kids got to be school age, they lived in a rainforest village with an indigenous tribe. They taught them the gospel, but also about how to contact and communicate with the government that was giving their land away to oil companies, helping them gain the tools needed to speak up for their rights. They brought in and administered vaccines and helped deliver babies, because they didn’t have the right to preach to anyone unless they were also contributing those practical things. And the mission agency would air drop supplies and shelf-stable foods to them because that was of vital importance. The Mormon mission model, on the other hand, just seems so shallow and…dilettante. All while managing to make extraordinary demands if the young people doing the work.
My husband had a jerk companion. My husband told him to be nicer and got slapped for it. So wonderful.... Please do a video of you reviewing the movie. That would be awesome! My husband bought me a mug from your store that says "worthy." Best birthday present ever!
Aww, that’s so sweet, I hope you love it! And happy birthday ♥️
Hi,
Every missionary has a jerk companion! If they don't, its very likely, they are the jerk! LOL!
If a companion had slapped me, I would have decked him.
In High School I served two summer missions for two weeks each in San Diego and the first was the summer Star Wars first came out. Both times it was driven into us to get baptisms and memorize the script you give people. The idea was do anything you want as long as you get a baptism. My two summer missions were very different neither bad nor good, but then I was a good Mormon boy at the time.
The first time, I arrived at the apartment and a lady came over and said, “Hey guys Elvis died!” We had 4 men sharing an apartment for two. Two 20 somethings and two High School boys. The other two found a place to sleep so just myself and the companion in the apartment but the other two stopped by to eat and rest on occasion. The hardest part was fast and testimony day and smelling/watching one of us cook dinner and not being able to nibble. It was just myself and other High School boy out on our own and casually talking along the way we both admitted to masturbating and he was concerned about how to tell his Bishop. I remember a church lady that had us over quite a bit and fed us, her house always seemed to be crowded with male missionaries.
The Second time, I had my own car and we put lots of miles on it looking back perhaps to many miles. The apartment was bigger then the previous summer so the four of us stayed and slept in it. The only thing I can clearly remember was the Bishop asking me to teach the Gospel Essentials class and I said yes. Reviewed the material all week. That Sunday I was taken to the proper room in the building and it was packed. I started in the lesson and I swear 5 minutes later I ran out of material, but kept going. When class was over the Bishop told me what a fantastic job I did and asked if I wanted the job every Sunday. I turned him down because my proper ward was some 50 miles away.
Both summer missions a favorite topic was “how many baptisms have you had?” And spent time like a bunch of old ladies gossiping over the topic.
When I was a Priest the Bishop asked me point blank if I was a Homosexual and I said No. Then he asked, “Do you know what a homosexual is?” I had to admit I did not so he told me.
Later the same Bishop had a meeting with my parents about calling me on a mission. Much later in life Mom told me they wanted to send you to the middle of Africa (eek). He called me in and asked me to go on a mission then included “If you go and do something you should not I won’t be able to protect you and you’ll be excommunicated and sent home.” I turned him down saying I’ve still got to over come this. This is when I started to fall away from the church.
Later I stumbled upon a Gay Mormon Group and finally came to terms with being gay. I wanted to blast the closet doors open but Mother was all “no one has to know and forced the closet doors almost closed!” In the end, I was still closeted at home but not out in public.
Mother was always inviting the Missionaries over to eat, so even though I was not active I still knew them. One day I was at the grocery store picking up a few things and ran into our local missionaries. Knowing all they had were bikes and lots of groceries I gave them a ride home. Helped them carry up the food to the apartment. Four 20-something missionaries sharing a two-bedroom place. One of them looked a bit like Rob Lowe who had just gotten into trouble recording a sex session. I sat on the couch and one of them brought over a soda and sat on the other end of the couch then said, “This makes into a bed so if you want we can have a big old but fucking.“I was still not used to being out of the closet and though what would mom say if they told her and said see you around and left. They also showed me a Polaroid of 3 of them naked in the shower in a buts to nuts pose! They had an older setting with the funny glass so you can’t see the details now I wish I still kept the photo!
The family more or less became inactive and the Missionaries stopped coming by sometime later I found out the church had really changed the rules regarding anything even appearing that hinted at gay sex.
Decades later I started going back to church (really, really long story), and dam why do those Missionaries have to look so sexy. Mother was still around and she loved the company, so they would come over and teach/chat with us.
Mother passed on and the missionaries kept coming around, so I asked them for help. Finally, I’m free to decorate and be who I want. Hanging from the upper kitchen doors are hand towels with positive messages on them my way of dealing with my chronic depression. One of the hand towels is a rainbow heart and over the top says “Love is love!”
I had a free-standing pantry and they offered to put it together for me so I said yes. Told them they can take the shirts off so they don’t get dirty but they said no. Out of the blue one of them said, “I have LGBTQ friends back home!” I said, “Wish I could get to know them!” Then I turned to his companion and asked, “What about you?” He did not hear a word of what we said and then said no I don’t know any of them!” The partner was so out of it that we could have wandered off to the bedroom and had a bit of fun and the partner never would have known. I now have a gay pride flag hanging on the living room wall and I’ll point black and tell them I’m gay. I do it to let them know it is perfectly fine to be LGBTQ no matter what the church says!”
I don’t want to get any of them into trouble and sent home but yet I make it clear. When they do come over to “teach” I always hijack the conversation and talk to them about the history and key events.
I still go to church from time to time and I always talk to the missionaries and offer them dinner or lunch if they want but the ward keeps them fed and busy.
I have asked the elders, “How many baptisms have you had?” The reply today is “We are here to help the ward the baptisms are not that important.”
The Church seems to swap them out quite a bit now! I suspect it is to prevent any potential gay missionary relationships.
Thank you for this. I served in Denver from 1987-1989. I remember a zone leader lying about his college experience. A district leader proclaiming that there was wickedness in the zone. I especially identify with the missionary in Mexico. I was assigned to an area near 49th and Peoria. Our curfew was sunset due to a murder in our apartment complex.
My late husband served a mission from 1972 to 1974 in Germany and at that time missionaries gave out not only the Book of Mormon but also a copy of Doctrine and Covenants. I think eventually they quit doing that because of all the contradictions between the two books. They were told by their mission president that most of the Doctrine and Covenants were only "applicable to members" and that once they got people baptized THEN they could read a copy of it themselves. They were also told at the MTC that when one elder took a shower they needed to leave the bathroom door open so they would not be tempted to "pleasure themselves" while in the bathroom!! Unbelievable. He came out of it relatively unscathed but said it was one of the worst experiences of his life. Although he said the people there were very very kind and invited them in for meals on a regular basis so at least they had food to eat!
I am a little late to the party, but I have kind of a fun story to share - I served in northern Mexico and some days the heat would be unbearable from 3pm to 4pm so my companion and I would go to a nearby park and sit on a bench, if no spots were available I'd look fore a teenage couple and approach them in the cringest way possible, sometimes I'd just say "did you know that Jesus Christ wants you to be together forever", after a 5 minute conversation the couple would leave and my comp and I would get a bench.
:D
My main experience with Mormon missionaries was quite a lovely time, and yet it ended in a really sinister manner.
When I was at University in the Northeast of the UK around the turn of the millenium, I lived in a shared house with a number of house-mates. We were generally chill people, of a number of different 'non standard' faiths. Atheist, Pagan, Wiccan, even a Discordian, but no zealousness in our beliefs. As students, we loved talking philosophy and stuff, and finding out new things. But, as with most people, we generally did not like doorstop proselytizers. In fact, our policy was to invite them in and then **** with them (Our favourite targets were Scientologists, as there was a big Dianetics Temple in the city). And one day, the doorbell rang and it was two Mormon Missionaries. So we did what we usually do, and invited them in.
And, I am going to say it. Those two lads impressed us. They didn't come across as being weird or intense like Scientologists and Jehovah's Witnesses are. They were polite, friendly, and really nice fellows. We sat in our front room, drank tea, ate biscuits and chatted about faith and philosophy for about an hour, then they left.
They came back quite a few times over the coming days and weeks, even though we're sure it became very obvious that we were not going to be converted, and we always had a great time talking 'shop', asking questions, both us to them and them to us. And over time we noticed they started to be relaxed when they came round. They'd loosen their ties when they came in, sit properly on the couch and chairs, not perch on the edge. We even played a few wholesome video games with them (Music rhythm games like Vib Ribbon or Parappa the Rapper, or driving games). They were just great, sociable experiences, and gave us all a really good view of the Mormon Faith, and even though a lot of it sounded like a con job (We were told about the gold plates and the seer stones, but not the rock and hat thing)., we never confronted them over the seeming inanity of it, because we didn't have the heart to possibly upset them. Like I say, they were so 'gosh darn nice'. We liked them.
Then one day when they were due to visit, we opened the door to two new fellows, who seemed to have a rather frosty demeanour towards us, which took us by surprise due to how friendly and nice the previous pair had been. When we asked after the others, the new pair told us they had gone 'back to Utah to restudy the scriptures'. This was not unexpected, as the original pair we liked had told us it was a limited time thing, but the next thing the new ones told us made the whole thing seem really ominous and sinister. They told us that this was the last time we would be contacted by any members of their church, and then they left. The whole thing felt so creepy, wrong and foreboding.
We felt so guilty over this. Although we had never made any attempt to **** with those nice lads, or even attempt to mess with their faith, the implication seemed to be that simply being friendly and hospitable to them, and treating them like we would any other friendly visitor, had caused them to be sent back home for 're-education'. The thought of those nice guys being in trouble was horrible to us. The only plus side was it got us forever blacklisted and we were never bothered on the doorstep again.
It's kind of eye opening to think that simply by being normal and friendly, and engaging in what to us were wholesome, non confrontational everyday activities, we were probably perceived as being devilish tempters, and a house of cunning Satanists bent on leading good god-fearing folk astray.
My mission was perhaps a couple of day that were memorable, but mostly terrifying as I am an introvert and would be so anxious talking to people. It was horrible. I was also assaulted by my companion and by then I just wanted to go home. On another time I broke my collar bone and my mission president still made me go out and ride my bike and work as normal. Did not get proper care for the brake and now, I have a crappy weak shoulder because my bone did not heel properly.
I love watching your videos. The only hard part is that I'm so sad my grandson will probably go through this. I wish there was something I could do to save him from this brainwashing.
Many even ex members, like myself, look back on their missions with fondness. I have to say it was a positive experience. I made many friends and loved visiting Canada. I now have children have and haven't serviced missions. Each to their own
The beds story in Mexico was commonly said in my mission in Northern Mexico. In fact, my mission president was reprimanded for spending money on beds and other essentials early on. If we wanted a phone, our mission president wanted us to negotiate it as part of our rental contract ( our rental allotments were ridiculously low). Also, In my Mexican mission we were constantly told that we could only see the mission approved doctors (but were least allowed to travel to them). We often had members that would tell us to just use the local socialized Healthcare system but our mission president would reprimand those missionaries if he found out.
Man, I wasn't expected a "Dream Theater" name drop on this channel but it made my day.
Brenden 'bearing his testimony' was hilarious. Yall should do that at the end of every video
That is sincerely the best beard I think I have ever seen. How does he keep it so healthy?!
By using "Brother Brigham's Beard Grooming Kit"...available at LDS stores, everywhere!
@@starguy2718 Hahaha yes nice 😂
Actually I use beard conditioner and oil from Mad Viking Beard Co and blow dry it after a shower haha
I would love if you read more of these stories. I want to have proof for my nieces & nephews how unsafe they are.
(Not my mission, but still)
When my mother and all my sisters left the church, my grandparents were so devastated they decided to do an elderly couples mission as retribution for our "mistake". Although that just meant they were assigned to do paperwork for no pay in the temple, they also were a part of the MC program and it's funds. Funds that were nonexistent when my grandpa got sick and for 2 years couldn't go to the doctors because my grandpa couldn't pay for it and the church refused to pay for a simple doctor's visit. My grandpa soldiered through the abdominal pain and increasing symptoms. When the mission was over and my grandpa finally got a doctor's appointment, he was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, which could have been caught and treated at any point during the last 2 years. My grandpa died believing he did all he could to try to reconvert us and that the church did everything they could to help him.
Hey I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all that you do. I had to present to my class about my life and I quoted one of your tiktok's to help explain least i could of what i went/am going through. Thank you again So Much
Lex you're temple design on your hoodie would look AMAZING as a patch! I would love to put that on my battle jacket!
I would love that!! Maybe someday!
My step sister and her family are all TBMs. I've never been a member of the LDS church, having grown up a mainstream evangelical Christian. Her youngest son left for his mission, arriving in Curitiba, Brazil a couple of days ago. I sincerely hope he has a better experience than two of his siblings. His eldest sister served in Panama. All of her posted letters were sweet like eating an entire bottle of caramel, but the poor girl was living off mac & cheese and lost a lot of weight while she was there. The other brother who served was sent to the Philippines. I honestly don't think he's capable of learning a second language well enough to handle it...he was lucky. His mission was interrupted by COVID. He ended up finishing his mission in the US. I don't understand why a church would treat their missionaries so poorly. My experiences both with meeting missionaries from my own churches and serving short missions has always been that missionaries live as those they are serving, but they would never be denied having basic needs like a safe place to sleep, food, and healthcare. We also tend to hire a native translator where appropriate and available. That ensures missionaries are fully able to communicate with those they are meant to serve and vice versa. It also helps out the translators and seems to help missionaries form friendly relationship with those around them. Based on the stories I've heard thus far, LDS missionaries don't at all fit what I've come to understand as a missionary. I'm not surprised to hear stories of those who leave the church at some point after serving an LDS mission base and have great respect for those who are able to make that break, regardless where there spiritual journey may lead. Thank you so much for your insightful videos. ❤
Fine interview with Dr. Dehlin, Lex. Keep blooming!
Every missionary I have talked to has had a crisis of faith. I feel so bad for them.
Sheesh, what her husband suffered during the last couple months of his mission is horrifying! I was never going to go on a mission but this definitely deals the deal for me.
Seals*
Definitely life changing, but not in the way they sold it. I feel for the guy who said he went hungry. I had the same thing, the only time in my entire life that I have ever actually been hungry without enough food was in the "care" of the church on my mission. They didn't give us enough money either and I had to call home several times on my mission to ask for money for food, and I felt terrible about it because I had to break the rules just so I didn't go hungry.
It's strange hearing these stories because in Oregon we got more money than we needed. I returned a bunch of leftover money to my president at the end.
my brother served a mission in 1999-2001. He was an athlete (on an olympic swim team) and he went on a mission as a means of going into hiding from massive gambling debt scandal - he was threatened that his legs would get busted if he didnt pay - so, he told his coach who generously paid the debt then kicked him off the team. everyone was shocked he went because he "chose to serve the lord instead of following his olympic dreams". no one ever knew the real reason why he chose to go, so in mormon circles he seemed like a real hero. its always been funny to me that not one single leader had any discernment about his intentions - he said it was the worst time of his life. also, he told me that he was so poor that him and a companion would regularly sell their blood plasma. good times
I was one of the last generations of sister missionaries who had to wear skirt 24/7. That alone is a ridiculous request, since we had to bike, hike, and be able to sit down anywhere for a lesson. Not to mention my entire mission was basically me vs mosquitoes. I couldn't sleep some nights because of the bites covering my legs. And it was too hot to wear pantyhose AND garments. I would've gotten heatstroke. In fact, I DID pass out several times from exhaustion and low blood sugar.
Ok, would love to see you guys react to that movie, or the book of mormon musical, or something like that.
Good to see your husband. Would be cool to see him some more. Yeah - I either experienced myself or heard stories of all those experiences myself from my mission. I was SO glad to get back after those two miserable years. Wish I had never gone, but the pressure to go was INTENSE!
I have so much to say about my mission as an Exmo, but really just want to say how jealous I am of Brendan's amazing beard 🤩🧔
Haha thanks!
Please stop feeling guilty about the proselytizing you did at any time. Every single one of us on this planet is in a learning mode, and our challenges are what our lives are about. We are to keep learning and trying and doing better, no one is perfect, and no one has the answers. The fact that you keep caring and learning and trying makes you as righteous as you need to be. I’m 64YO, and I recently for gave my parents and ancestors for their mistakes because we were all just children learning, despite our different ages. No one was ever told the right answers, and when you believe in the commandment “honor thy father and thy mother,“ you never progress as a society. I always thought that commandment was written by a bad dad. Peace to you, you are doing really well, do not look back and blame yourself because you cannot change the past, none of us can and we have all made mistakes. Love to you both.🥳❤️🤷🏻♀️
I had a companion that only served a mission because his girlfriend wouldn't marry someone who wasn't a return missionary. He tried sleeping through the majority of his mission.
I remember the elders in my area had no money for groceries. They got $30 per week, sometimes less. Our bishop had to go out and buy food for them and take it out of fast offering.
these are my favorite videos you do!!!
Hello! Who was the guy who mentioned "philippines" from story #2 I wanna know that guy so bad because i could tell that he is pretty accurate about the things he was saying. I am from the philippines and I served for a period of 6mos and decided to go home because of my mental health, it was so toxic that I thought of taking my own life. Toxic treatment by my MP. I hate it.
When I joined the church as a young adult I was an ordinary heterosexual single Aussie man. Yet, some members and certain homophobic leaders in the church would make innuendos and show contempt towards gay people in society. I went to church for moral support and fellowship yet I noticed that were many pretentious hypocrites who were quick to judge others based on negative stereotypes in society. I noticed that members would never speak to me or make eye contact for some unknown reason.
I always felt uneasy and wary going to church on Sundays. Then after five years I had enough of their BS and left. I joke about it to people that it is The Joseph Smith Church.
Man, when I was 19 it was a "commandment" so if you didn't go you were being disobedient. I didn't go until I was 20 because I just didn't want to. I will say that I had mostly good experiences and I do not regret that I went, but the pressure was way more than just "oh it'll be good." It was more like "If you don't go, you are breaking god's commandments." I felt guilty most of the time I was out there because I always felt like I was never doing enough. I didn't baptize enough people because I didn't have enough faith and was not as obedient as I should have been. I had a very good president though and I think that's not always the case.
My experience was similar. It was hammered several times over that a mission was a priesthood “DUTY” and not optional. I also had some good times and bad and don’t regret going. I won’t be doing it again though, once was enough.
Oh my gosh just hearing these stories makes me so happy I didn't let my so go on a mission, After seeing the missionaries through the years and what they went through I just couldn't let him go, I took care of all my missionaries the best I could, I kept them fed and always sent them home with bags of groceries because I knew they went days with out being fed, can't even tell you how many times that calander wen't around with blank days, I just knew I couldn't let him go through that, funny thinking about some of our missionaries we had one that just came for a visit hadn't seen her in over 20 years and she brought her family for us to meet, we've kept touch on phone and fb but this was the first visit from her, we did get a visit from another but she was from about 8 years ago, I will alway talk to the missionaries but there wont be anymore lessons heck i'd even feed them but it wont be for the church.
Thanks for this video. It helped me realize that many many RM experience what I do: discomfort and shame about ever having done that.
Plus why do I have so few good memories? It was supposed to be such a great time and instead I got driven like a slave and ground down BY THE Mission president.
This was such a great episode. THANX for all the people that sent in their stories. THANX to the adorable couple that presented them.
The artwork on the bearded human (Brendan? Brenden? Brendon? ...) looks amazing. Maybe it's too personal, but it would be nice to see the tattoos up close and the meaning behind them, again, if it's not too personal. Artwork looks amazingly detailed.
Being a convert I didn't feel the pressure till later in life. I REALLY wanted sex like most guys, but thought I would not be "blessed" with a Wife unless I went on a mission. So I highly anticipated my Patriarchal Blessing thinking that God would give me a clue whether I should go or not. Sure enough all I got was a vague mention that I " had a mission to fulfill in life". WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Just life in general, or specifically a MISSION MISSION?? Well I decided to er on the side of going and the rest is history. Like your hubby there were good times and bad times. Times with a lot of fellowship, and times I thought about stealing the Zone Leaders car so I could escape to the Airport. LOL! I have a ton of stories too. Ah well, I don't regret it really. I learned a lot, but I often wonder what would have become of me had I not gone. KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT LEXY!!
I wasn't a Mormon but my best friends growing up were. For several months I on and off went to services, until one day when we were discussing the Mormon history of baptism through this cheesy video. I had a lot of questions and the person teaching the lesson mostly deflected what I had asked. After the service I saw my friends parents talking to him for a long time. I was never asked to join them on Sundays again. I was 11...
I went on a mission to Raleigh North Carolina too! I despised it, I feel that hated is not a strong enough word for the way I felt. I was there in the 90's.
Do they still have asinine rules like wearing plain color socks with no design and wearing a suit coat at all times even when it is 95 degrees F and 90 percent humidity?
We had "suit season" and "non-suit season" so we were allowed to just wear a short sleeve white dress shirt during the summer.
Do you remember any of the areas you served in? I live in Apex which is about 15 minutes from Raleigh.
@@ocularpatdown8196 I was never near Raleigh. I was in Mebane, Whiteville, Fayetteville and the Wilmington/Shallotte areas. The people in North Carolina are great, very friendly and generous. They didn't want to listen to anything we had to say about the church but they would still talk to us and be friendly.
One of the reasons I hated my mission was because I had some health problems. I also had severe allergies to all the vegetation there. I was treated like they were my problem and the mission president/ church didn't give a shit about helping me or doing anything to alleviate my suffering. We don't want to help you at all but you better damn well do everything we say and follow the rules 100 percent is how I felt treated.
I asked to go home and my mission president actually told me that all my problems were because I wasn't working hard enough and masturbating. The mission president was dead wrong, but I was too embarrassed and brainwashed to obey the leaders that I didn't confront him about his assertions. My mission president is dead now but If I ever met him after my mission I would have punched him in the face. He was an asshole who only cared about numbers and strict obedience to every single rule. He berated the whole mission at every zone conference because the baptism numbers dropped by half when he became the mission president.
@@nickjohnson4309 NC folks are gracious, doesn't matter who they interact with.
Some funny, most sick, thank you for bringing this up, and being a voice. Johanne, Norway
Brendan went from Mormon Missionary to headbanger. Respect. 🤘