Hey Jesus! Long time no talk to! Good to see you around again! I hope you're doing well. Veronica and I send you love! I was just going to say I literally permanently damaged my neck and ankle on my mission in 2 separate incidents and the church paid to fix both injuries... but the first one I was made to serve the whole time while recovering. The second one sent me home and took a year to recover. When they told me I was expected to stay living like a missionary while living with my family and then go back... I said I quit. Which then caused all manner of judgment, like I hadn't served the last 20 months in the first place. Those injuries were not compensated for my lack of ability to find work later. Now they don't even acknowledge the incidents even happened. So much for "integrity"! I had also been shot at 2 times and was forced to brake up 2 civil disputes. Had a lot of other guns pulled on me. I'm a veteran with service connected PTSD but my mission was so bad my sons call it my tour of duty in "Atlantastan". LOL
They probably didn't even like eachother. My mission president put me with women I didn't like on purpose as a so called lesson to me. He never put me with women I actually got along with. And we pretended we liked eachother and it was just weird and miserable.
I became a Mormon to marry my ex wife! Officially , I still am(oh my) Two missionaries came by ! I said “ dudes my house is a wreck but i will tell you what , let’s go to a Chinese joint and we can order what we want and I will pay for it, let’s just for this one time not talk about the church( like never , but I did not say it like this( lol)” I guess not too many people are this friendly, since I had to encourage them to really order what they want ( I mean it is a Chinese take out, what is the most expensive item 15 bucks or so) and I encouraged them to get their Sprites not cokes of course as their drinks( lol) I can’t say I had a great time with them but it was ok! I had to kind of carry the conversation since they where restricted in what they could say, talk about anything but the church remember ) lol! I guess they are not used to this! Anyway their bishops stopped by and even sent me a Christmas card! It does not hurt to be nice even to people even those who have crazy crazy religious ideas ( lol) I hope you enjoyed this boring ass story ( lol)
honestly, maybe if we treated more young religious people (especially missionaries) nicely and normally, maybe they would realize sooner that the church is full of shit.
I did enjoy it lol. 😂 I'm glad you were so nice to them and understand that you don't have to agree with someone's beliefs in order to be kind and generous to them
Hey if you like family history it’s nice because your records in the church give you free access to your records. I have multiple family members that have left, but still have their records in to learn about their ancestors.
I recently invited some missionaries in. We chatted for over an hour and I was very kind to them. They were great kids! We eventually discussed why I left the church and they got a little uncomfortable. All in all, it was a great experience. If they ever knock on your door, I would recommend showing them some hospitality but refuse to take in lessons.
One of the worst things I did on my mission was to tell a young Catholic mother who recently lost her baby who had not been baptized by the Catholic priest that if she joined our cult she could see her daughter again in the next life. Still regret that....
@@tedgarrison8842 You did what you'd been groomed to do. None of that was your fault. Just continue loving others and that love starts with yourself, forgiving yourself.
I came home medically discharged because I was bleeding out of my butt for about a month and a half. But since I came home early with no cast or was violently I’ll people assumed and probably still assume I was having sex out in Toronto where I was serving. I heard through the grapevine that the word was I got a girl pregnant. A lot of my friends from the single’s ward before I left stopped talking to me and was ignored by 90% of my age group. So I can relate to the medical discharge story.
Also had a zone leader and district leader go through my personal stuff to confiscate my unholy music. The unrighteous music you might ask, no it wasn’t punk rock or heavy metal it was Dave Mathew’s and stuff like that. So stupid as I look back on it. And super messed up to go through anyones personal property.
@@greglong9191 that’s horrible. No boundaries at all. I’m glad that I was able to leave the church before having to do a mission. Sorry that you couldn’t do the same! I hate how they took away your music. You literally have no personal comforts as a missionary. The least that they could do is allow you to listen to some of your favorite songs.
I had a mental breakdown 9 weeks before the end of my mission in Phoenix AZ. The mental and physical pain after all those months, including controlling companions broke me. Luckily my mission president was loving and sent me home honorably. I left the church two years later and been MUCH happier since
When I pledged my fraternity I went through some physical hazing! The difference between that and being a LDS missionary is that at the end of the day I had a group of guys who really cared about me and had my back!
Thank you for this. I am not Mormon, but have lived out West and have known some lovely Mormon women. One friend and I, in Idaho, got a Starbucks coffee and a chocolate bar. We were in our 30s with husbands and children. We sat in my car and it was snowing as I recall...and shared our coffees and candy and shared our lives together. We giggled and had fun. After our visit, she said, " Well, if that is a sin then bring it on!" She said she had THE BEST DAY EVER! Can you imagine...coffee, chocolate and conversation with a friend. Simple hings we take for granted.
I’m newly leaving and super nervous. I finally decided like yesterday after debating for two years, because I realized the only reasons I would stay would be for fear and for my family’s approval. It’s going to be a long journey, but my eldest cousin on my dad’s side has already made it years ago, so we’re going to get coffee soon and talk about it.
When I was 18 and in college and approached by missionaries for the first time, I just thought they were rude and awful people. It didn't resonate with me at first who they were and I was polite like I would be to anyone. I was sitting alone at a bus and we were talking about something random, I can't remember, when they started to bring up religion. I could not believe anyone would be so rude. I have been an atheist basically my entire life, ever since I could read religious doctrine. I wasn't particularly offended on behalf of my non-existent faith, but I think I had had it up to here with people assuming I'm a bad and immoral person for thinking religion is a work of fiction. Having it come from a stranger under false pretenses, sitting in front of a college campus the vibe I got was that they were students or visiting, was such a GTFO type of feeling for me. To the rest of the world it's such rude and invasive behavior.
I live in Honolulu and the Mormon church owns an apartment across the hall from my unit. Every couple months there are 3 new boys or girls in there. I stopped bothering to learn their names because they’re hardly home and they don’t stay long before moving. They’re always super nice though. They’ve never once tried to indoctrinate me. One thing that’s sad to me is they aren’t allowed to go to the beach. They come all the way to Hawaii and they can’t have even one day at the beach, like the whole time they’re here. I expressed that to a group of them once and one of them said that he didn’t want to go to the beach. He said that they don’t go on mission to have a vacation. (But doesn’t everyone deserve the occasional day off?)
My heart breaks for all the kids who endured this, and I am astounded at the cruelty of some of the mission presidents. I'm thinking what I would do to someone who treated my kid that way, but some of these kids' parents probably agreed with it, and having parents disregard the abuse is almost like having the abuse repeated. I hope more people can be rescued from this dangerous cult.
Thank you so much for calling it what it really is and not calling it “the church” as everyone sticks to calling it. We need to end this cult ASAP and save as many people out of it as possible. If we wanna see more people rescued then we need to help make that happen
@@nsasupporter7557 Yeah, I'm a Nevermo, but I am moving to UT soon, so I wanted to get a better idea of what I'd be facing. I've known some Mormons, but they weren't Utah Mormons. I started watching Lexi, Mormon Stories and a few other things, then ended up reading the CES Letter. There is some really next-level cult stuff going on that I never realized, although I knew they had some "unusual" beliefs. My heart breaks for the people raised in that insanity who are then shunned by their families and communities when they leave. Seeing NewNameNoah's temple videos creeped me out.
@@conductorsearle lucky you… I was born and raised in it. I’m now an Ex and I’m scarred for life now because of it 😠 words can’t describe how much I hate that cult
@@conductorsearle thank you. Not your fault though. What I really wanna do is start an organization or foundation that helps people who were wronged by the Mormon cult like I was and exposes it for the fraud it really is
I was never a mormon, but I do love hearing stories of people who've deconstructed from a religion & their experiences in it. That poor kid in the Denver Airport! Lol
@@stephaniesands119 don't worry Abt that we are not judges temple workers are not judges once your bishop gives you temple recommend you are worthy to enter rest is between you and God
@@stephaniesands119 I want to know what is the answer of an atheist to the questions: What is the purpose of life, why were we created, why do we die, and what is after death??
@@stephaniesands119 Do you think that the universe, which has been scientifically proven to have a beginning and is regulated by laws, as well as the creation of man from nothingness and precision in the cell and its mastery, all these existed (without anyone)??
I was clinically diagnosed with ptsd from my Mormon mission and it’s taken me 6+ years to even begin to heal it. This is what upsets me most about the church. Why are you not taking care of the ppl that are working for free for you?! Missionaries deserve to be protected and safe on their missions. But many many times this isn’t the case. And they aren’t allowed to take care of themselves and it only exasperates the problem. It’s awful. It can lead to suicide and death, Im not sure if people understand how serious this problem is. I can’t watch this because it would be triggering to me, but thanks for talking about these important topics.
Just your case alone is solid reason for a lawsuit. I have PTSD and there are lifelong consequences. The abuse that caused this is criminal. Do peeps ever think of calling an attorney? You were severely wronged. I wish you all the best!
@@ritamariekelley4077 yeah, I was pursuing a lawsuit for a little bit. I ended up stopping because it just took too much mental energy for me right now. But I may go back to that idea later. Another problem is the church has billions of dollars and owns their own law firm. I'm not sure if I would even be able to get anything out of it.
I had that same experience when I came home, I went to LDS family services, but they were terrible. We never once talked about the trauma that I had experienced as a missionary. It was only later in life that I found out I was experiencing acute PTSD from my experiences from other missionaries and because I was formerly diagnosed with Autism at 25 years old. I should never have served an LDS mission in the first place.
Another great episode. My expectation going on a mission, the spirit would guide us to people and we would change lives like Jesus did. The Reality, dogmatic conditioning and hazing, sales tactics, countering objection, shaming, leader boards, social trauma. I wrote this in my journal "my MP told me I was going to hell today. I was stunned and then smirked. I realized, I am successful at something". I had extreme anxiety and Attention Deficit Disorder and couldn't function like the other missionaries. Conformity was my insanity. Nothing I could do would change me. Leaving the church gave my life back.
What I'm super mad about is my parents forcing me to go to early morning seminary when I had ADHD and depression as a kid. I needed to sleep properly. I'd have to get up at 5 and wait for a ride to pick me up , got to the person's house around and we'd read the old testament for over an hour everyday before I got to school. I remember at some points I started laughing hysterically reading the Bible because I was suffering from sleep deprivation and I was not okay. I remember one morning I was so tired that I wished that we got in a car accident just so I could sleep a little longer. And then I'd have to go to school after, and fall asleep in class and got bad marks for not being able to pay attention and forgot all my books etc. It makes me really angry thinking back because this fucked me up and made the start of my schooling very difficult and I blame the church for alot of the mental health issues I have today.
I too have ADHD and frequently fell asleep during school lessons because of early morning Seminary classes. I could tell you lots of bad things that happened to me at Church and how people were mean to me. But life tends to hit you hard no matter what community of human beings you belong to. The thing is, I got to know Jesus and hundreds of super kind, intelligent and warm people because of my membership in the Church. That´s what I choose to focus on.
I met several Mormon missionaries in my time. I even had the lessons once. The missionaries who were teaching me eventually bailed when I did not accept what they were feeding me. I was in college and just wanted to have an honest talk about what they believed and why they believed it. Apparently it was not something they were prepared to do, unlike other groups I investigated at the time. Thanks to you and other exmo podcasts and youtubes I can look back and see the humans that stood behind those church programmed automatons. Thank you.
We have to get converts. It's a pyramid scheme. If we can see that you aren't interested enough to join, we feel like we've wasted our time and move on fast. We need numbers. It's a fact.
I’m friends with an active Mormon. We share a love of Mustangs. The stories he tells about his mission are a mix. Some are hilarious some shocking and sometimes heartbreaking. The way the church abuses them on top of group dynamics, it breaks my heart and makes me livid at the church.
Even after I left the Church, missionaries would still try to contact me and when they came to my door, I always let them and come in and talk with me. I always let them pray too before they left. I always did this because they were so young and inexperienced and knew so little of the world. And so my thought was that if they had been my boys, that I would treat them the way I have wanted my boys to be treated.
I definitely get those stories about serving in the South during summer month's. As a former Athletic Trainer I get the need for Water Breaks and R and R that time of year. Even now as an ExMormon I still offer Missionaries water if they're tracting by my house. Even if it means listening to them preach. It's not their fault they've probably been guilted into serving missions and I wouldn't want them to die of heatstroke or heat exhaustion even though I disagree with them. There's even a Coffeeshop here that offers them free water. That Coffeeshop is owned by Evangelicals and it's profits help fund Humanitarian Mission Trips in Africa so it's ironically called Mission Grounds Coffee House😂😂😂😂
I still think about those two young girls that came to my door in Minnesota during winter. I really hope they're ok and that the hour or so in a warm house as it was getting dark outside helped their experience some.
I saw Mormons going door to door in the rain when it was like 50° outside. Granted this was in California but 50° is cold to us and I would have been pissed to have to open my front door and talk to two teenagers when it's 50° outside. Very inconsiderate to have people opening the door in cold weather and exceedingly inconsiderate to have kids going door to door in cold weather.
My late husband was on a mission in Germany in the mid to late 70's. For a long time they left a copy of both the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants with those they called on. They weren't getting any baptisms so their mission president said they should only give out the BOM because the doctrines in D&C were too "deep" for potential converts to understand. Talk about withhholding informed consent to join a religion. Their baptism rate went way up once they only got the BOM. Ludicrous.
I was sexually assaulted by my trainer, as well as in BYU-I by multiple women immediately after my mission. On my mission I was forced to baptize pedos in order to get the numbers up. By the end of my mission I started to leave the house dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and would just offer to do service projects for people. I ended up liking my mission once I quit acting like a saleman and genuinely lost myself in service to others. I also ended up being incredibly successful as a mormon salesman once people saw how much I was willing to do for them without an ulterior motive
Even as a TBM, I always cringed and said "uhh maybe, not sure" when asked if I was going to go on a mission. Missions sound like they can be absolute hell. I feel awful for young men who are so pressured to serve.
These are heartbreaking stories. I always make it a point to be kind to any Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses I encounter when they’re out and about. These poor people are basically forced to do this and have a huge amount of pressure on them - the last thing that will help them see that they’re in a cult is being abusive to them.
This was a really eye opening comment. I am SO glad you shared this. I will definitely keep this in mind so I can be kinder to missionaries instead of mean. Thank you so much.
I hear SO MANY SIMILARITIES to trauma, abuse, brainwashing in basic training. I wish you could do one of these with a former army private to see the similarities.
I am at the Tulsa story right now and relate so much to this. The second you arrive in your area they work the fuck out of you, I guess to send some kind of message. In my mission, you didn't get a p-day the week you transferred, so you work nearly 2 weeks for 16 hours a day. When I finally got a p-day, I had to drive around all day to take a guy for his driver's test. This was in England and driving was really stressful to me because everything is backwards.
I really like y’all’s dynamic. The way that you take turns talking and let each other speak and finish thoughts and ideas. Sharing your own ideas and also supporting what each of you are saying.
"I'm sorry for the dark nature of my experience." 😥please don't ever apologize. you didn't ask for that. and it wasn't a punishment for something you did or didn't do. it's unfortunate, but it's something that happened TO you. thank you for sharing, and i really hope you have found some sort of peace and healing since.
I remember a year after I graduated from high school I didn't want to serve a mission and I was working and I saved up to buy my first car and after I did my bishop gave me so much crap about buying it and that I can just sell it use that money to go on a mission that the lord would bless me more and that just the beginning of the abuse from my ex bishop and my ex youth leaders too glad I left that shit hole
The other reason to be kind, or at least not mean, to the missionaries knocking on your door is that you are closing the way out of the cult that these missionaries might have. If the "world" of worldly people is even worse than what they see inside the cult, then they are right when they stay inside. Missionary work has been absolutely devastating to underdeveloped countries, and people like me, who live in one of these countries, can feel that the hate against the missionary is well deserved. But of course, nobody should be the target of hate, and what has to disappear is the missions, not the people who are knocking on doors in fear of eternal damnation.
A missionary told me in Congo it was common for bandits to rob the elders. If they had to do transfers there would often be "toll booths" where bandits would collect a "toll" to pass into the area. Of course there was little police presence to combat the bandits.
I am so happy for the two of you to have left that freaky cult together and to be able to enjoy your exmormon life together. Your testimony is powerful. Your videos are saving lives.
My cousin is on his mission at the moment. I have mixed feelings. I do think some aspects are going since he's learning to be away from his mom and take care of himself to become more independent. I do get to message him every Monday at least. What tears me up is the high demand of work he never gets a break. And the fact that he's supportive of my gender identity but is preaching for a church that thinks I'm wrong. I can't imagine the internal battle he's probably dealing with about that.
I am so much happier being away from the church and feel I have broken away from the victim mentality that it creates. I got injured, I was in the hospital, I got in a fight, I was depressed, it was extremely difficult learning the language, I couldn't phoned home, I went 3 months without any money etc etc etc. I think breaking away has taught me to break free from my victimhood though. I believe though that It all happened for me and I'm grateful for the experience and what I learned and gained from it. no longer does anyone tell me how to think and how to live. no longer do I depend on an organization to define my life. the shelf break is like being woken from a hypnotic trance. like waking up in a new world filled with love and friendship and warmth. learning how to interact with others and fill your needs in healthy and positive ways though is a long process.
On the thought of being nice to missionaries, as a nevermo, I was wondering; are they allowed to accept like, water and snacks from places they enter? If a mormon kid comes knocking I'd really like to be able to give them a spot to rest and get some sustenance they're lacking, but I'm not sure if they're supposed to not accept strangers' food just in case. I've considered keeping prepackaged snacks & drinks around for this possibility as well.
I have snacks and bottles of water set aside for the missionaries that come to our door. Most accept, some don’t. Some come back after not accepting at first. I always tell them I’m a mom and I’d want someone to do this for my child.
My Grandmother would invite them to sit on the font porch and brought them snacks and lemonade as long as they understood she was a Methodist and would not change her mind.
Oh my god, I live 40 minutes north of Durham where your husband was on his mission. I just saw two missionaries walking down main street in my town the other day. I feel so bad for them, they're so young and brainwashed. These stories are heartbreaking.
I made my comment before I finished the video. Yes, I'm so glad you said that about how to treat them. I am not ex Mormon, but I am ex cult/exvangelical, so I totally get the brainwashing.
When I was one of the Ward Missionaries in our old ward, I insisted on driving the sister Missionaries everywhere that I possibly could because I didn't want them on bikes. Especially if it was a hot day or past dark. They used to go to some very dangerous parts of town. I rarely met a Missionary that had a bike route that had not been injured in some way or another. I think it is cruel to expect those kids to ride bikes, especially in certain areas of the world and the country that is gets incredibly hot and humid. I also used to invite the sister Missionaries out to lunch at least once a week and we always fed them in our home once a week, as well as doing a Costco shopping trip for them. If I ever saw them at Walmart, I would usually insist on buying their groceries. These kids have it so hard. It is best to help them in any way that you can.
As an adult, looking back at my mission 50 years ago, I wouldn't stand for 5 minutes of that abuse. I thought these missionary stories were going to be lame, but they all sound legit. As an ex-missionary, I feel for all of them. I can totally identify with the missionary who said, he wished he'd follow his own guidance instead of blindly following mission leaders. As an example of this, I was in Sweden in the middle of winter. The weather there is just like Chicago. One Sunday afternoon, I had a cold in my lungs and wanted to stay home and not go out tracting. The district leader insisted that I go out anyway because there was a contest going on and he didn't to "let the district down". My cold got worse. I caught some kind of lung disease, and to this day, I still have to constantly clear my throat. I had pneumonia and high school before my mission, so I was already vulnerable, and later had bronchitis three more times, so I am scared to death of getting Covid. I am taking all the precautions. I like your new look. I grew up in Portland, and we used to go to Seaside all the time.
One of my best friends in life was in a Mormon family, and I learned a lot about this insidious cult from knowing him. He was very conflicted about it and had trouble relating how he felt about it, and seemed embarrassed about it a lot of the time. My only hope was that he'd be able to free himself from it eventually, but he actually was forced to go on his "mission" to Japan. I still have the letters he wrote to me while he was there, and they are truly heart breaking. He was so miserable. He was somehow able to get out of it early, but he was never the same after that. This "religion" totally effed him up. He killed himself in 1998. I was a pall bearer at his funeral at the local LDS church and the hypocrisy and complete and total BS I had to listen to was so disgusting I could barely control my contempt. He deserved better. I still miss him.
I help any missionary I see. I won’t the help the church but I will always help those kids. I give them water and let them cool down and feed them. Ugh these stories break my heart!
The sleep deprivation was so real. I went on a mission and I just remember being so exhausted all the time. I don’t think I’ve ever recovered from the damage of that sleep deprivation.
Listening to your stories makes me so happy that I made the choice of not allowing my son go on a mission, growing up in the church and always being around missionaries I knew I didn't want him going but that's also the reason I make it a point to talk to missionaries and always fed them and when our girls got sick they would come to my house also I kept my freezer packed with hostess cakes and breads for them so when they came over I'd give them bags and let them go out to the freezer to take what they wanted, id see the meal calendar so I knew they weren't being fed like they should of been so I tried to keep them fed the best way I could, I still hear from my missionaries even 30 years later, even have them drop by every now and then one just came last Christmas and brought her family, she still calls me her Texas mom even though I left the church years ago it doesn't matter to her.
You didn´t allow your son to go on a mission? Wow, if my dad (who was an ex anti-mormon) hadn´t allowed me to go, I would have missed out on something that still gives me a lot of joy 30 years later. And that´s usually the way it works. The ones who are traumatized by their missions are few in comparison,.
Calling home at 23:08. Back in the mid-80s you got two calls home per year. Christmas and Mother's Day. Thereafter only weekly letters home. No e-mail or texts, no TV, no internet or smart phones. And there were around seven books to read and standard works. There was even a guy whose mother had died unexpectedly and he got a brief call home to his Dad. Due to logistics, cost and time, he missed his mother's funeral. He stayed and finished the mission .
Heh. For about five years after leaving, my mother would update my church records so that the missionaries would "swing by" every time I pissed her off. And I only really had my childhood friends get back in touch with me to try and bring me back which has been disheartening but it is what it is. I am still nice to them because they are just kids, but I can quote their materials almost as well as they can and I extract myself if I feel like I'm being strongarmed into what I don't want.
Yeah, totally my experience that early returns-even for honorable reasons-are soft shunned. Thanks for sharing these experiences. Like the temple, it's a huge problem that missionaries aren't told what their missions will be like before going.
@@theexmocandleco.6528 A good friend of mine came back early from his mission for health reasons, and I overheard some members saying "Yeah, right. He just couldn't tough it out." And these were women who I bet never even went on missions themselves.
It never ceases to amaze me that they send young people to so many dangerous areas. You mentioned South Africa, where I lived and worked for a time. It is criminal to send missionaries there because the crime rate is so high. Nobody, in their right mind, walks suburban streets there. It is an invitation to criminals. I had to leave after 2 terrifying attacks, one being held at knife point, in the elevator of my apartment building, in an attempted r*pe. I was a wreck. Drivers are constantly car-jacked. Beautiful country but very dangerous. The Church is like an MLM organisation. Missionaries pay to work as sales reps for the corporation. If they are lucky they arrive home safely. They must then give their testimony in Church, singing the praises of their mission experience. It's utter cruelty.
When a missionary gets killed or die in any way, it´s on the news. Do you think that the mortality rate is higher among missionaries than among other people their age? Shouldn´t think so.
For Sleep deprivation, my first day in Army Basic training was like that (36 hours straight without sleep). My group and I arrived late in Atlanta, waited for a bus to Ft Jackson, SC and arrived around 2:00 AM being told we’d be in formation at 5:00. I remember getting linens issued just to have the drill sergeant say we’d be setting our linens on our bunks only and not sleeping that night. I just remember my fellow soldiers falling asleep standing up in formation ( I was one of them).
same reason why we drafted 18 and 19 year olds. "Your old enough for war but not for voting" If your old enough to serve a mission you should have some say in your conditions.
Early return missionaries at 18:21. There was an elder who returned home after 15 months from Mexico for no fault of his own. He needed a medical procedure not available in Mexico. Anyways there were complications and he never went back to complete the mission. He found no single women in the church would date him because they felt something was wrong with him.
Yeah, one of the things I've noticed from people in the church is how tons of people at some point during their mormon journey prays to die every single day. I experienced the same thing and now that I'm out of mormonism I look back on it like. "Bro why were you so anxious and depressed? Life's good."
I’m also a convert who left, and likely I was also inactive by the time my missionaries finished their service. I’m curious how someone in Georgia would even convert in the first place, since I mostly did it out of convenience, being that I was in southern Utah for college and all my roommates were Mormon.
I remember them knocking on our doors many times when I was a kid. My parents has ZERO tolerance and was quite rude. As an adult, they have come by as well. In my 20’s, early 30’s, I just wouldn’t answer the door. Once I had kids, who were part of our church, went on church missions trips etc, it changed my view on them. I would not have wanted anyone to treat my children poorly when they were away helping others. Anyways, I always let them in now. While they will never change my mind on my own beliefs, I don’t believe in making anyone feel bad about their own beliefs. Also, I have found Mormons to be some of the nicest people you will ever meet. And when I mean nice, I mean genuinely nice people.
I agree that many Mormons are genuinly nice people. That is also my experience. Yet, when it comes to the mormon missionaries: don't these nice people just drop you like a burning hot potato the moment you say you don't want to go to a meeting or bible study with them?
Thank you for these mission story videos. They are by far my favorite content from you. They validate my experience. No surprise, but my mission was traumatizing. Anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, sleep deprivation, illness, etc etc etc. I had apples and rocks thrown at me, people spit at me, had our windows smashed and things stolen, crippling homesickness, bike wrecks, foot, leg, and back pain. I've been through surgeries and PT for the physical problems and am still in therapy for the rest. Thankfully my companions were not abusive. I feel terrible because I was a hardline rule follower. So I admire men like your husband for seeing how stupid many rules were. I was actually pointed to as an "ideal" missionary and I wanted to die. Even before my mission I struggled with sleep paralysis. I'd fall asleep with my eyes open and be able to see while sleeping, but my body was immobilized. It was terrifying. I wasn't given access to the internet as a teenager, because of pornography, so I couldn't research the actual cause. It got worse in the mtc. I would have sleep paralysis and I started hearing deep, gutteral voices. I thought it was the devil trying to stop me from going on my mission. I told my mtc president (England MTC) who said that that shouldn't happen because the mtc was sacred ground. He then offered me a blessing and exorcised the demon out of me. In my first area it started happening again and I would keep asking companions to bless me. When I finally got home from my mission and it kept happening, I opened my laptop and researched it. Took me five minutes to realize my symptoms were normal for someone enduring extreme stress.
As I said in an earlier comment, the amount of abuse so many of you suffered was criminal, worthy of a class-action lawsuit. What they did to you was torture. It was criminal. So sorry for your experiences.
They should have sent you to doctor not "He then offered me a blessing and exorcised the demon out of me". Hollyyy man! we live in 21st century not 17th.
Awesome video Lexie! Thank you! Highly appreciate how you've made several videos mission-related stories, the trauma, bad experiences, etc. You're really doing a great work and very helpful and eye-opening to hear more people's stories.
The missionary life is horrific and so traumatizing. I reread my journal entries and my disassociative state is palpable. That whole time feels like someone else lived it. I thought I had done a good job at defending myself and not putting up with mistreatment... but I guess there's only so much you can do when you are engulfed everyday in that bullshit. It really felt like a brainwashing/conditioning experiment. Before I went I thought I would love it... I wanted to help people and prove I was good enough to the mormon god- because I am bisexual I had a lot to prove there... I hated it... it crushed my spirit and I left grateful only for it being over. Most of my friends who went have been diagnosed with cptsd, and even though I don't think my mission was all that bad in comparison, even I get sick thinking about my mission
We had bad weather come through town. The ultimate place to watch it come was the parkinglot of lds church. While i was there a group of missionaries came over, they told me about enjoying the bad storms on their mission in south africa and they love the storms because its one of the things theyre allowed to do. I became friends with them, they told me i was the first person who had been legitimately nice to them, so sad..
My mother supported my choice to go on a mission. My dad didn´t. But I´m sooo happy I listened to God and my heart. My mission is still one of my greatest sources of joy 30 years later!
For me, I made some great life long friends on my mission and mission life was far easier than working on our family farm. I could actually sleep in until 6 am in the mission field. 🙂 I served in Oregon. Love your shirt.
Seen so many Mormans on some of the stuff i subscribe to, who sound so confused about the real world. Some struggle so much, that they openly contradict themselves.. I just recommend your channel.. Whether they bother watching or not, i dont know... Hope they do... Keep up the good work..x
"At that age they can still be controlled..." That's why the US military chooses that age too. You can't tell a mature thinking man to charge a machine gun. You can an 18 year old boy.
We had missionaries come to our door, we were just about to go to the pub for dinner so I invited them to join us, they declined. At the time I didn't know they weren't allowed to drink alcohol. Next time I will cook them a meal instead because that might show prove to them that there are kind people who aren't of the same faith.
I attended the Hill Camorah pageant in New York with a Mormon friend and family when I was approached by two sister missionaries. The one and I had a similar passion for literature and we really hit it off. Her companion had to literally lead her away by the arm. I now realized that was maybe first times I really related to girl. Ahhh, what can I say. You never forget your first crush.
Wow, great video, you two! Lex, please invite your hubby on more often. His perspective is very much appreciated. My mission stories aren't as dramatic, but did teach me what it's like to live in a fascist dictatorship. Family/friends still try to use those two years as leverage to get me back to church. "But sacrament meeting is at the same time as my drunk sex orgy. I can't be in two places at once." That usually gets them off my back for a while. Seaside Oregon is beautiful place, thank you for wearing the hoodie.
Probably a dumb question, but I'm a level back from my active family members. Can missionaries accept drinks/snacks from the houses they visit? I'm not letting anybody in, but I always feel bad for these kids who look like they're about an inch away from dying in the southern swamp heat.
Yes! I still feed them if they stop by, and most members will take turns sending them dinner. Like they won't be able to accept coffee or things against the Word of Wisdom, but they are just kids away from home and on their own for the first time.
When I was on my mission I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my shoulder. I was down for a month with pain, and out in the field for another month with the same pain and slowing everything down. When I went to talk to my mission president he told me that he told me that he thought I should have gone home at the start but that he wanted to leave it up to me. I thought that was uncalled for.
Love you Elder Rausch! Thanks for being so kind to me & my family.. I'd do anything I could for you. I hope you know that! (Even though you'll prob never see this comment) 🙏❤ -Jeremiah & Fam in Charleston, wv
For calling home twice a year, our mission was so big that there was no way to enforce it. Being in Mexico the bigger challenge was getting a phone in a remote area that wasn’t too expensive. Even in the city it was difficult if you didn’t have one in your apartment since you’d have to find someone to lend theirs out.
In the MTC, had a 23 year old Elder (recent convert) complained that 8 hours a day wasn’t enough time to sleep. Every time we had an extended lunch for “studying” , he and his companion would head to the dorm area so he could get his sleep
I’m SOOOOOOOOOO GLAD I was never a salesman robot for that cult! And I’ll always be angry I wasted my life being raised in it and mind poisoned by it in the first place
6:13 this, I'm fairly sure is actually true. They sweep you away before you can get a real taste of adult life. In fact, my seminary teacher was talking about this just yesterday (I'm a junior and being forced to take seminary). He said that they changed the mission age for guys to 18 in 2012, when he was 16 (he's really not old and I feel bad that he's so brainwashed). He literally said that they changed it so that there was less time for them to experience the real world and less time for them to "go astray". And I just thought that was so messed up. They're definitely doing it so there's not much time for them to make the decision themselves/learn the truth about the church. Its so they wont figure things out and leave the church before the "defining spiritual experience of a mission". If they go through the mission they're usually in too deep to think about questioning things
When I turned 19, I was told that you go on a mission even if you don't believe in The Church yet. The thinking is "If we can just get them out there, the brainwashing will take care of itself". It is soooo messed up Emi-Liz, and I'm so glad that you're catching on to their tricks at such a young age.
A mission is part of life--gives you an opportunity to serve and be stress tested. You could call this post "the trauma of serving in the military", the trauma of having a job, the trauma of going to college , the trauma of having a job--basically the trauma of any of any life experience. Life is hard basically. I grew up in rural area and worked very hard jobs growing up. My mission was not that difficult and was actually a lot of fun. After my mission, there were many years of college and deprivation that were very challenging and difficult but rewarding experience. My parents and siblings and now my children have had great missions. I find that most who complain about their mission, also complain and blame their parents for their upbringing, blame their employers. ex spouses, and the list goes on and on.
I have trauma on my mission where I caught some badddd fungus infection, living in a cheap ancient low resolution apartment in Hong Kong with mold and rainy goo, and bugs... I had bad fevers, and inadequate insurance (even though it was expensive as hell for a McWorker).... A Mega billion dollar church that can afford the olympics and a mega mall, with 300 Billion in reserves can't even afford my health care and what made matters worse I had to stay extra time. I converted nobody, and the mission president made fun of my learning disability... and the meds the DID have me on caused insane hallcinations. Oh look I must be a prophet because I tripped balls on ancient 1930's meds because I was super broke and saw stuff... I had a raging brain swelling from the bugs... (strange mosquitos).
I went through Hell on my Mormon mission. No joke, I’m still dealing with health problems from parasites and pray it away bullshit.
🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
And if Jesus himself can't pray away the parasites, what hope do the rest of us have?
And then getting crucified can't have been a great homecoming.
How about suing? Looking forward to the title "Jesus Christ VS. the corporation of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints "
Hey Jesus! Long time no talk to! Good to see you around again! I hope you're doing well. Veronica and I send you love! I was just going to say I literally permanently damaged my neck and ankle on my mission in 2 separate incidents and the church paid to fix both injuries... but the first one I was made to serve the whole time while recovering. The second one sent me home and took a year to recover. When they told me I was expected to stay living like a missionary while living with my family and then go back... I said I quit. Which then caused all manner of judgment, like I hadn't served the last 20 months in the first place. Those injuries were not compensated for my lack of ability to find work later. Now they don't even acknowledge the incidents even happened. So much for "integrity"! I had also been shot at 2 times and was forced to brake up 2 civil disputes. Had a lot of other guns pulled on me. I'm a veteran with service connected PTSD but my mission was so bad my sons call it my tour of duty in "Atlantastan". LOL
On my mission in the 70's, I was never allowed a phone call my family. I was very depressed & lonely a majority of the time.
I met two sister missionaries at a library I worked at. They were so lonely and just needed someone to talk to. My heart breaks for them.
They probably didn't even like eachother. My mission president put me with women I didn't like on purpose as a so called lesson to me. He never put me with women I actually got along with. And we pretended we liked eachother and it was just weird and miserable.
They’re also only allowed to hug women but I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to initiate.
I became a Mormon to marry my ex wife! Officially , I still am(oh my)
Two missionaries came by ! I said “ dudes my house is a wreck but i will tell you what , let’s go to a Chinese joint and we can order what we want and I will pay for it, let’s just for this one time not talk about the church( like never , but I did not say it like this( lol)”
I guess not too many people are this friendly, since I had to encourage them to really order what they want ( I mean it is a Chinese take out, what is the most expensive item 15 bucks or so) and I encouraged them to get their Sprites not cokes of course as their drinks( lol)
I can’t say I had a great time with them but it was ok! I had to kind of carry the conversation since they where restricted in what they could say, talk about anything but the church remember ) lol!
I guess they are not used to this!
Anyway their bishops stopped by and even sent me a Christmas card!
It does not hurt to be nice even to people even those who have crazy crazy religious ideas ( lol)
I hope you enjoyed this boring ass story ( lol)
honestly, maybe if we treated more young religious people (especially missionaries) nicely and normally, maybe they would realize sooner that the church is full of shit.
I’m always kind to missionaries. Always. They get shit on so much.
I did enjoy it lol. 😂 I'm glad you were so nice to them and understand that you don't have to agree with someone's beliefs in order to be kind and generous to them
Hey if you like family history it’s nice because your records in the church give you free access to your records. I have multiple family members that have left, but still have their records in to learn about their ancestors.
I recently invited some missionaries in. We chatted for over an hour and I was very kind to them. They were great kids! We eventually discussed why I left the church and they got a little uncomfortable. All in all, it was a great experience. If they ever knock on your door, I would recommend showing them some hospitality but refuse to take in lessons.
Why refuse to take in lessons? You narrow minded?
One of the worst things I did on my mission was to tell a young Catholic mother who recently lost her baby who had not been baptized by the Catholic priest that if she joined our cult she could see her daughter again in the next life. Still regret that....
And very honest of you to say so..
We all make mistakes, but not everyone has the balls to admit it..
❤
@@HeardFromMeFirst If only I had stopped drinking the KoolAid prior
@@HeardFromMeFirst Hardcore atheist
@@tedgarrison8842 ..😂😂😂 Phew..❤
@@tedgarrison8842 You did what you'd been groomed to do. None of that was your fault. Just continue loving others and that love starts with yourself, forgiving yourself.
I came home medically discharged because I was bleeding out of my butt for about a month and a half. But since I came home early with no cast or was violently I’ll people assumed and probably still assume I was having sex out in Toronto where I was serving. I heard through the grapevine that the word was I got a girl pregnant. A lot of my friends from the single’s ward before I left stopped talking to me and was ignored by 90% of my age group. So I can relate to the medical discharge story.
I’m sorry that all of this happened to you! So messed up!!
Also had a zone leader and district leader go through my personal stuff to confiscate my unholy music. The unrighteous music you might ask, no it wasn’t punk rock or heavy metal it was Dave Mathew’s and stuff like that. So stupid as I look back on it. And super messed up to go through anyones personal property.
@@greglong9191 that’s horrible. No boundaries at all. I’m glad that I was able to leave the church before having to do a mission. Sorry that you couldn’t do the same! I hate how they took away your music. You literally have no personal comforts as a missionary. The least that they could do is allow you to listen to some of your favorite songs.
I’m so sorry. I sure hope you are doing well and healthy now xoxoxo
I am so sorry this happened to you
I had a mental breakdown 9 weeks before the end of my mission in Phoenix AZ. The mental and physical pain after all those months, including controlling companions broke me. Luckily my mission president was loving and sent me home honorably. I left the church two years later and been MUCH happier since
I heard if 666 people buy that shirt, the actual Salt Lake Temple will levitate and turn upside down.
I've heard that too!
Sweet!
🤣 challenge accepted 🤣
I’m in 😂
It will and I'll film it
When I pledged my fraternity I went through some physical hazing! The difference between that and being a LDS missionary is that at the end of the day I had a group of guys who really cared about me and had my back!
🤣
Thank you for this. I am not Mormon, but have lived out West and have known some lovely Mormon women. One friend and I, in Idaho, got a Starbucks coffee and a chocolate bar. We were in our 30s with husbands and children. We sat in my car and it was snowing as I recall...and shared our coffees and candy and shared our lives together. We giggled and had fun. After our visit, she said, " Well, if that is a sin then bring it on!" She said she had THE BEST DAY EVER! Can you imagine...coffee, chocolate and conversation with a friend. Simple hings we take for granted.
I’m newly leaving and super nervous. I finally decided like yesterday after debating for two years, because I realized the only reasons I would stay would be for fear and for my family’s approval. It’s going to be a long journey, but my eldest cousin on my dad’s side has already made it years ago, so we’re going to get coffee soon and talk about it.
I just had my first bottle of sweet tea this week.
When I was 18 and in college and approached by missionaries for the first time, I just thought they were rude and awful people. It didn't resonate with me at first who they were and I was polite like I would be to anyone. I was sitting alone at a bus and we were talking about something random, I can't remember, when they started to bring up religion. I could not believe anyone would be so rude. I have been an atheist basically my entire life, ever since I could read religious doctrine. I wasn't particularly offended on behalf of my non-existent faith, but I think I had had it up to here with people assuming I'm a bad and immoral person for thinking religion is a work of fiction. Having it come from a stranger under false pretenses, sitting in front of a college campus the vibe I got was that they were students or visiting, was such a GTFO type of feeling for me. To the rest of the world it's such rude and invasive behavior.
I live in Honolulu and the Mormon church owns an apartment across the hall from my unit. Every couple months there are 3 new boys or girls in there. I stopped bothering to learn their names because they’re hardly home and they don’t stay long before moving. They’re always super nice though. They’ve never once tried to indoctrinate me.
One thing that’s sad to me is they aren’t allowed to go to the beach. They come all the way to Hawaii and they can’t have even one day at the beach, like the whole time they’re here. I expressed that to a group of them once and one of them said that he didn’t want to go to the beach. He said that they don’t go on mission to have a vacation. (But doesn’t everyone deserve the occasional day off?)
My heart breaks for all the kids who endured this, and I am astounded at the cruelty of some of the mission presidents. I'm thinking what I would do to someone who treated my kid that way, but some of these kids' parents probably agreed with it, and having parents disregard the abuse is almost like having the abuse repeated. I hope more people can be rescued from this dangerous cult.
Thank you so much for calling it what it really is and not calling it “the church” as everyone sticks to calling it. We need to end this cult ASAP and save as many people out of it as possible. If we wanna see more people rescued then we need to help make that happen
@@nsasupporter7557 Yeah, I'm a Nevermo, but I am moving to UT soon, so I wanted to get a better idea of what I'd be facing. I've known some Mormons, but they weren't Utah Mormons. I started watching Lexi, Mormon Stories and a few other things, then ended up reading the CES Letter. There is some really next-level cult stuff going on that I never realized, although I knew they had some "unusual" beliefs. My heart breaks for the people raised in that insanity who are then shunned by their families and communities when they leave. Seeing NewNameNoah's temple videos creeped me out.
@@conductorsearle lucky you… I was born and raised in it. I’m now an Ex and I’m scarred for life now because of it 😠 words can’t describe how much I hate that cult
@@nsasupporter7557 I'm very sorry for what you went through. I hope you are getting the help and support you need.
@@conductorsearle thank you. Not your fault though. What I really wanna do is start an organization or foundation that helps people who were wronged by the Mormon cult like I was and exposes it for the fraud it really is
I was never a mormon, but I do love hearing stories of people who've deconstructed from a religion & their experiences in it. That poor kid in the Denver Airport! Lol
Okay I request you to go ,attend and study and know by yourself
@@dalipgupta8275 I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall inside a temple, but idk how long I could keep composure 😅 they might sense my unfaithfulness
@@stephaniesands119 don't worry Abt that we are not judges temple workers are not judges once your bishop gives you temple recommend you are worthy to enter rest is between you and God
@@stephaniesands119
I want to know what is the answer of an atheist to the questions: What is the purpose of life, why were we created, why do we die, and what is after death??
@@stephaniesands119
Do you think that the universe, which has been scientifically proven to have a beginning and is regulated by laws, as well as the creation of man from nothingness and precision in the cell and its mastery, all these existed (without anyone)??
I was clinically diagnosed with ptsd from my Mormon mission and it’s taken me 6+ years to even begin to heal it. This is what upsets me most about the church. Why are you not taking care of the ppl that are working for free for you?! Missionaries deserve to be protected and safe on their missions. But many many times this isn’t the case. And they aren’t allowed to take care of themselves and it only exasperates the problem. It’s awful. It can lead to suicide and death, Im not sure if people understand how serious this problem is. I can’t watch this because it would be triggering to me, but thanks for talking about these important topics.
Just your case alone is solid reason for a lawsuit. I have PTSD and there are lifelong consequences. The abuse that caused this is criminal. Do peeps ever think of calling an attorney? You were severely wronged. I wish you all the best!
@@ritamariekelley4077 yeah, I was pursuing a lawsuit for a little bit. I ended up stopping because it just took too much mental energy for me right now. But I may go back to that idea later. Another problem is the church has billions of dollars and owns their own law firm. I'm not sure if I would even be able to get anything out of it.
I had that same experience when I came home, I went to LDS family services, but they were terrible. We never once talked about the trauma that I had experienced as a missionary. It was only later in life that I found out I was experiencing acute PTSD from my experiences from other missionaries and because I was formerly diagnosed with Autism at 25 years old. I should never have served an LDS mission in the first place.
Another great episode. My expectation going on a mission, the spirit would guide us to people and we would change lives like Jesus did. The Reality, dogmatic conditioning and hazing, sales tactics, countering objection, shaming, leader boards, social trauma. I wrote this in my journal "my MP told me I was going to hell today. I was stunned and then smirked. I realized, I am successful at something". I had extreme anxiety and Attention Deficit Disorder and couldn't function like the other missionaries.
Conformity was my insanity. Nothing I could do would change me. Leaving the church gave my life back.
Soooo glad you're free of all of that. I can identify, ADHD/severe learning disabilities. I would have been shamed the entire time.
I'm so sorry you had to endure that.
Most of those stories broke my heart, but the one with the guy calling his drug dealer was amazing
I liked the one where the missionaries got to see some real-life boobies!
What I'm super mad about is my parents forcing me to go to early morning seminary when I had ADHD and depression as a kid. I needed to sleep properly. I'd have to get up at 5 and wait for a ride to pick me up , got to the person's house around and we'd read the old testament for over an hour everyday before I got to school.
I remember at some points I started laughing hysterically reading the Bible because I was suffering from sleep deprivation and I was not okay. I remember one morning I was so tired that I wished that we got in a car accident just so I could sleep a little longer. And then I'd have to go to school after, and fall asleep in class and got bad marks for not being able to pay attention and forgot all my books etc.
It makes me really angry thinking back because this fucked me up and made the start of my schooling very difficult and I blame the church for alot of the mental health issues I have today.
And then it turns out that the only reason the church does seminary is so they can send you on a mission to places like Brazil.
I too have ADHD and frequently fell asleep during school lessons because of early morning Seminary classes. I could tell you lots of bad things that happened to me at Church and how people were mean to me. But life tends to hit you hard no matter what community of human beings you belong to. The thing is, I got to know Jesus and hundreds of super kind, intelligent and warm people because of my membership in the Church. That´s what I choose to focus on.
What time were you going to bed back then?
I met several Mormon missionaries in my time. I even had the lessons once. The missionaries who were teaching me eventually bailed when I did not accept what they were feeding me. I was in college and just wanted to have an honest talk about what they believed and why they believed it. Apparently it was not something they were prepared to do, unlike other groups I investigated at the time. Thanks to you and other exmo podcasts and youtubes I can look back and see the humans that stood behind those church programmed automatons. Thank you.
😂😂that's because they don't have a single fact to stand on theyre trying to get rid of Joseph's story period
We have to get converts. It's a pyramid scheme. If we can see that you aren't interested enough to join, we feel like we've wasted our time and move on fast. We need numbers. It's a fact.
I’m friends with an active Mormon. We share a love of Mustangs. The stories he tells about his mission are a mix. Some are hilarious some shocking and sometimes heartbreaking. The way the church abuses them on top of group dynamics, it breaks my heart and makes me livid at the church.
Even after I left the Church, missionaries would still try to contact me and when they came to my door, I always let them and come in and talk with me. I always let them pray too before they left. I always did this because they were so young and inexperienced and knew so little of the world. And so my thought was that if they had been my boys, that I would treat them the way I have wanted my boys to be treated.
I definitely get those stories about serving in the South during summer month's. As a former Athletic Trainer I get the need for Water Breaks and R and R that time of year. Even now as an ExMormon I still offer Missionaries water if they're tracting by my house. Even if it means listening to them preach. It's not their fault they've probably been guilted into serving missions and I wouldn't want them to die of heatstroke or heat exhaustion even though I disagree with them. There's even a Coffeeshop here that offers them free water. That Coffeeshop is owned by Evangelicals and it's profits help fund Humanitarian Mission Trips in Africa so it's ironically called Mission Grounds Coffee House😂😂😂😂
That's real love--beautiful.
I still think about those two young girls that came to my door in Minnesota during winter. I really hope they're ok and that the hour or so in a warm house as it was getting dark outside helped their experience some.
I saw Mormons going door to door in the rain when it was like 50° outside. Granted this was in California but 50° is cold to us and I would have been pissed to have to open my front door and talk to two teenagers when it's 50° outside. Very inconsiderate to have people opening the door in cold weather and exceedingly inconsiderate to have kids going door to door in cold weather.
My late husband was on a mission in Germany in the mid to late 70's. For a long time they left a copy of both the Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants with those they called on. They weren't getting any baptisms so their mission president said they should only give out the BOM because the doctrines in D&C were too "deep" for potential converts to understand. Talk about withhholding informed consent to join a religion. Their baptism rate went way up once they only got the BOM. Ludicrous.
I will do my best to talk to mormon mission people. They deserve all the kindness they can get.
I was sexually assaulted by my trainer, as well as in BYU-I by multiple women immediately after my mission. On my mission I was forced to baptize pedos in order to get the numbers up. By the end of my mission I started to leave the house dressed in a t-shirt and shorts and would just offer to do service projects for people. I ended up liking my mission once I quit acting like a saleman and genuinely lost myself in service to others. I also ended up being incredibly successful as a mormon salesman once people saw how much I was willing to do for them without an ulterior motive
Even as a TBM, I always cringed and said "uhh maybe, not sure" when asked if I was going to go on a mission. Missions sound like they can be absolute hell. I feel awful for young men who are so pressured to serve.
These are heartbreaking stories. I always make it a point to be kind to any Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses I encounter when they’re out and about. These poor people are basically forced to do this and have a huge amount of pressure on them - the last thing that will help them see that they’re in a cult is being abusive to them.
This was a really eye opening comment. I am SO glad you shared this. I will definitely keep this in mind so I can be kinder to missionaries instead of mean. Thank you so much.
I hear SO MANY SIMILARITIES to trauma, abuse, brainwashing in basic training. I wish you could do one of these with a former army private to see the similarities.
Ex- mo here... I would never dream of being rude to these young people. Talk and share, yes. No excuse for meanness.
Thank you for advocating for showing kindness to missionaries
I am at the Tulsa story right now and relate so much to this. The second you arrive in your area they work the fuck out of you, I guess to send some kind of message.
In my mission, you didn't get a p-day the week you transferred, so you work nearly 2 weeks for 16 hours a day. When I finally got a p-day, I had to drive around all day to take a guy for his driver's test. This was in England and driving was really stressful to me because everything is backwards.
It's not backwards, we just drive on the correct side! Honestly though, these experiences sound frightful. And all for some utter nonsense.
Snowflake
I really like y’all’s dynamic. The way that you take turns talking and let each other speak and finish thoughts and ideas. Sharing your own ideas and also supporting what each of you are saying.
"I'm sorry for the dark nature of my experience."
😥please don't ever apologize. you didn't ask for that. and it wasn't a punishment for something you did or didn't do. it's unfortunate, but it's something that happened TO you. thank you for sharing, and i really hope you have found some sort of peace and healing since.
I remember a year after I graduated from high school I didn't want to serve a mission and I was working and I saved up to buy my first car and after I did my bishop gave me so much crap about buying it and that I can just sell it use that money to go on a mission that the lord would bless me more and that just the beginning of the abuse from my ex bishop and my ex youth leaders too glad I left that shit hole
I’m glad you left too. It’s a horrible corporation/cult. Also, that’s a cute cat in your pic.
The other reason to be kind, or at least not mean, to the missionaries knocking on your door is that you are closing the way out of the cult that these missionaries might have. If the "world" of worldly people is even worse than what they see inside the cult, then they are right when they stay inside.
Missionary work has been absolutely devastating to underdeveloped countries, and people like me, who live in one of these countries, can feel that the hate against the missionary is well deserved. But of course, nobody should be the target of hate, and what has to disappear is the missions, not the people who are knocking on doors in fear of eternal damnation.
Being on a mission is dangerous. Going door to door. That is dangerous.
A missionary told me in Congo it was common for bandits to rob the elders. If they had to do transfers there would often be "toll booths" where bandits would collect a "toll" to pass into the area. Of course there was little police presence to combat the bandits.
I am so happy for the two of you to have left that freaky cult together and to be able to enjoy your exmormon life together.
Your testimony is powerful.
Your videos are saving lives.
My cousin is on his mission at the moment. I have mixed feelings. I do think some aspects are going since he's learning to be away from his mom and take care of himself to become more independent. I do get to message him every Monday at least. What tears me up is the high demand of work he never gets a break. And the fact that he's supportive of my gender identity but is preaching for a church that thinks I'm wrong. I can't imagine the internal battle he's probably dealing with about that.
As I was walking home I saw the elders and got so stressed for a second. They told me they liked my hat though so that was nice haha
I am so much happier being away from the church and feel I have broken away from the victim mentality that it creates. I got injured, I was in the hospital, I got in a fight, I was depressed, it was extremely difficult learning the language, I couldn't phoned home, I went 3 months without any money etc etc etc. I think breaking away has taught me to break free from my victimhood though. I believe though that It all happened for me and I'm grateful for the experience and what I learned and gained from it. no longer does anyone tell me how to think and how to live. no longer do I depend on an organization to define my life. the shelf break is like being woken from a hypnotic trance. like waking up in a new world filled with love and friendship and warmth. learning how to interact with others and fill your needs in healthy and positive ways though is a long process.
On the thought of being nice to missionaries, as a nevermo, I was wondering; are they allowed to accept like, water and snacks from places they enter? If a mormon kid comes knocking I'd really like to be able to give them a spot to rest and get some sustenance they're lacking, but I'm not sure if they're supposed to not accept strangers' food just in case. I've considered keeping prepackaged snacks & drinks around for this possibility as well.
I have snacks and bottles of water set aside for the missionaries that come to our door. Most accept, some don’t. Some come back after not accepting at first. I always tell them I’m a mom and I’d want someone to do this for my child.
My Grandmother would invite them to sit on the font porch and brought them snacks and lemonade as long as they understood she was a Methodist and would not change her mind.
I always love seeing you guys together. Keep doing that!
Oh my god, I live 40 minutes north of Durham where your husband was on his mission.
I just saw two missionaries walking down main street in my town the other day. I feel so bad for them, they're so young and brainwashed.
These stories are heartbreaking.
I made my comment before I finished the video. Yes, I'm so glad you said that about how to treat them. I am not ex Mormon, but I am ex cult/exvangelical, so I totally get the brainwashing.
When I was one of the Ward Missionaries in our old ward, I insisted on driving the sister Missionaries everywhere that I possibly could because I didn't want them on bikes. Especially if it was a hot day or past dark. They used to go to some very dangerous parts of town. I rarely met a Missionary that had a bike route that had not been injured in some way or another. I think it is cruel to expect those kids to ride bikes, especially in certain areas of the world and the country that is gets incredibly hot and humid. I also used to invite the sister Missionaries out to lunch at least once a week and we always fed them in our home once a week, as well as doing a Costco shopping trip for them. If I ever saw them at Walmart, I would usually insist on buying their groceries. These kids have it so hard. It is best to help them in any way that you can.
As an adult, looking back at my mission 50 years ago, I wouldn't stand for 5 minutes of that abuse. I thought these missionary stories were going to be lame, but they all sound legit. As an ex-missionary, I feel for all of them.
I can totally identify with the missionary who said, he wished he'd follow his own guidance instead of blindly following mission leaders. As an example of this, I was in Sweden in the middle of winter. The weather there is just like Chicago. One Sunday afternoon, I had a cold in my lungs and wanted to stay home and not go out tracting. The district leader insisted that I go out anyway because there was a contest going on and he didn't to "let the district down". My cold got worse. I caught some kind of lung disease, and to this day, I still have to constantly clear my throat. I had pneumonia and high school before my mission, so I was already vulnerable, and later had bronchitis three more times, so I am scared to death of getting Covid. I am taking all the precautions.
I like your new look. I grew up in Portland, and we used to go to Seaside all the time.
One of my best friends in life was in a Mormon family, and I learned a lot about this insidious cult from knowing him. He was very conflicted about it and had trouble relating how he felt about it, and seemed embarrassed about it a lot of the time. My only hope was that he'd be able to free himself from it eventually, but he actually was forced to go on his "mission" to Japan. I still have the letters he wrote to me while he was there, and they are truly heart breaking. He was so miserable. He was somehow able to get out of it early, but he was never the same after that. This "religion" totally effed him up. He killed himself in 1998. I was a pall bearer at his funeral at the local LDS church and the hypocrisy and complete and total BS I had to listen to was so disgusting I could barely control my contempt. He deserved better. I still miss him.
I help any missionary I see. I won’t the help the church but I will always help those kids. I give them water and let them cool down and feed them. Ugh these stories break my heart!
These stories make me so sad! I'm so grateful I never went on a mission. It would've killed me.
I'm from South Africa and served in Johannesburg. it wasn't uncommon to be robbed or carjacked in South Africa.
The sleep deprivation was so real. I went on a mission and I just remember being so exhausted all the time. I don’t think I’ve ever recovered from the damage of that sleep deprivation.
Listening to your stories makes me so happy that I made the choice of not allowing my son go on a mission, growing up in the church and always being around missionaries I knew I didn't want him going but that's also the reason I make it a point to talk to missionaries and always fed them and when our girls got sick they would come to my house also I kept my freezer packed with hostess cakes and breads for them so when they came over I'd give them bags and let them go out to the freezer to take what they wanted, id see the meal calendar so I knew they weren't being fed like they should of been so I tried to keep them fed the best way I could, I still hear from my missionaries even 30 years later, even have them drop by every now and then one just came last Christmas and brought her family, she still calls me her Texas mom even though I left the church years ago it doesn't matter to her.
You didn´t allow your son to go on a mission? Wow, if my dad (who was an ex anti-mormon) hadn´t allowed me to go, I would have missed out on something that still gives me a lot of joy 30 years later. And that´s usually the way it works. The ones who are traumatized by their missions are few in comparison,.
Calling home at 23:08. Back in the mid-80s you got two calls home per year. Christmas and Mother's Day. Thereafter only weekly letters home. No e-mail or texts, no TV, no internet or smart phones. And there were around seven books to read and standard works. There was even a guy whose mother had died unexpectedly and he got a brief call home to his Dad. Due to logistics, cost and time, he missed his mother's funeral. He stayed and finished the mission .
Even the military will let you take emergency leave as soon as logistically possible.
Heh. For about five years after leaving, my mother would update my church records so that the missionaries would "swing by" every time I pissed her off. And I only really had my childhood friends get back in touch with me to try and bring me back which has been disheartening but it is what it is.
I am still nice to them because they are just kids, but I can quote their materials almost as well as they can and I extract myself if I feel like I'm being strongarmed into what I don't want.
Yeah, totally my experience that early returns-even for honorable reasons-are soft shunned. Thanks for sharing these experiences. Like the temple, it's a huge problem that missionaries aren't told what their missions will be like before going.
🧡 to being nice to the missionaries
@@theexmocandleco.6528 A good friend of mine came back early from his mission for health reasons, and I overheard some members saying "Yeah, right. He just couldn't tough it out." And these were women who I bet never even went on missions themselves.
There are bad areas in Durham, NC is the biggest understatement I've heard in a while.
It never ceases to amaze me that they send young people to so many dangerous areas. You mentioned South Africa, where I lived and worked for a time. It is criminal to send missionaries there because the crime rate is so high. Nobody, in their right mind, walks suburban streets there. It is an invitation to criminals. I had to leave after 2 terrifying attacks, one being held at knife point, in the elevator of my apartment building, in an attempted r*pe. I was a wreck. Drivers are constantly car-jacked. Beautiful country but very dangerous. The Church is like an MLM organisation. Missionaries pay to work as sales reps for the corporation. If they are lucky they arrive home safely. They must then give their testimony in Church, singing the praises of their mission experience. It's utter cruelty.
They actually PAY to do this???
When a missionary gets killed or die in any way, it´s on the news. Do you think that the mortality rate is higher among missionaries than among other people their age? Shouldn´t think so.
For Sleep deprivation, my first day in Army Basic training was like that (36 hours straight without sleep). My group and I arrived late in Atlanta, waited for a bus to Ft Jackson, SC and arrived around 2:00 AM being told we’d be in formation at 5:00. I remember getting linens issued just to have the drill sergeant say we’d be setting our linens on our bunks only and not sleeping that night. I just remember my fellow soldiers falling asleep standing up in formation ( I was one of them).
same reason why we drafted 18 and 19 year olds. "Your old enough for war but not for voting" If your old enough to serve a mission you should have some say in your conditions.
Irony: I have gotten more UA-cam ads than I can count trying to convince me to become Mormon ever since starting to watch this channel.
Hell yeah!
I grew up in Utah and currently live in Louisiana. The humidity is something you never get used to, especially if you’re a transplant!
An RM told me in Venezuela he lived in a gang infested area. On a regular basis they had to dodge bullets from gang shootings.
Early return missionaries at 18:21. There was an elder who returned home after 15 months from Mexico for no fault of his own. He needed a medical procedure not available in Mexico. Anyways there were complications and he never went back to complete the mission. He found no single women in the church would date him because they felt something was wrong with him.
I can't believe the amount of abuse. This stuff is criminal.
Yeah, one of the things I've noticed from people in the church is how tons of people at some point during their mormon journey prays to die every single day. I experienced the same thing and now that I'm out of mormonism I look back on it like. "Bro why were you so anxious and depressed? Life's good."
Pray to die...? Think that was just you bro....
I’m also a convert who left, and likely I was also inactive by the time my missionaries finished their service. I’m curious how someone in Georgia would even convert in the first place, since I mostly did it out of convenience, being that I was in southern Utah for college and all my roommates were Mormon.
I remember them knocking on our doors many times when I was a kid. My parents has ZERO tolerance and was quite rude. As an adult, they have come by as well. In my 20’s, early 30’s, I just wouldn’t answer the door. Once I had kids, who were part of our church, went on church missions trips etc, it changed my view on them. I would not have wanted anyone to treat my children poorly when they were away helping others. Anyways, I always let them in now. While they will never change my mind on my own beliefs, I don’t believe in making anyone feel bad about their own beliefs.
Also, I have found Mormons to be some of the nicest people you will ever meet. And when I mean nice, I mean genuinely nice people.
I agree that many Mormons are genuinly nice people. That is also my experience. Yet, when it comes to the mormon missionaries: don't these nice people just drop you like a burning hot potato the moment you say you don't want to go to a meeting or bible study with them?
Thank you for these mission story videos. They are by far my favorite content from you. They validate my experience.
No surprise, but my mission was traumatizing. Anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation, sleep deprivation, illness, etc etc etc.
I had apples and rocks thrown at me, people spit at me, had our windows smashed and things stolen, crippling homesickness, bike wrecks, foot, leg, and back pain. I've been through surgeries and PT for the physical problems and am still in therapy for the rest.
Thankfully my companions were not abusive. I feel terrible because I was a hardline rule follower. So I admire men like your husband for seeing how stupid many rules were. I was actually pointed to as an "ideal" missionary and I wanted to die.
Even before my mission I struggled with sleep paralysis. I'd fall asleep with my eyes open and be able to see while sleeping, but my body was immobilized. It was terrifying. I wasn't given access to the internet as a teenager, because of pornography, so I couldn't research the actual cause. It got worse in the mtc. I would have sleep paralysis and I started hearing deep, gutteral voices. I thought it was the devil trying to stop me from going on my mission. I told my mtc president (England MTC) who said that that shouldn't happen because the mtc was sacred ground. He then offered me a blessing and exorcised the demon out of me. In my first area it started happening again and I would keep asking companions to bless me.
When I finally got home from my mission and it kept happening, I opened my laptop and researched it. Took me five minutes to realize my symptoms were normal for someone enduring extreme stress.
As I said in an earlier comment, the amount of abuse so many of you suffered was criminal, worthy of a class-action lawsuit. What they did to you was torture. It was criminal. So sorry for your experiences.
They should have sent you to doctor not "He then offered me a blessing and exorcised the demon out of me". Hollyyy man! we live in 21st century not 17th.
"I'm sorry for the dark nature of my experience", I'M sorry you felt the need to apologize. I hope your life is full of light and love.
Awesome video Lexie! Thank you! Highly appreciate how you've made several videos mission-related stories, the trauma, bad experiences, etc. You're really doing a great work and very helpful and eye-opening to hear more people's stories.
The missionary life is horrific and so traumatizing. I reread my journal entries and my disassociative state is palpable. That whole time feels like someone else lived it. I thought I had done a good job at defending myself and not putting up with mistreatment... but I guess there's only so much you can do when you are engulfed everyday in that bullshit. It really felt like a brainwashing/conditioning experiment.
Before I went I thought I would love it... I wanted to help people and prove I was good enough to the mormon god- because I am bisexual I had a lot to prove there... I hated it... it crushed my spirit and I left grateful only for it being over.
Most of my friends who went have been diagnosed with cptsd, and even though I don't think my mission was all that bad in comparison, even I get sick thinking about my mission
You need help. Sounds like youre not all there.
We had bad weather come through town. The ultimate place to watch it come was the parkinglot of lds church. While i was there a group of missionaries came over, they told me about enjoying the bad storms on their mission in south africa and they love the storms because its one of the things theyre allowed to do. I became friends with them, they told me i was the first person who had been legitimately nice to them, so sad..
As a mom I would never put my child in such situations for a church.😮
My mother supported my choice to go on a mission. My dad didn´t. But I´m sooo happy I listened to God and my heart. My mission is still one of my greatest sources of joy 30 years later!
For me, I made some great life long friends on my mission and mission life was far easier than working on our family farm. I could actually sleep in until 6 am in the mission field. 🙂 I served in Oregon. Love your shirt.
Seen so many Mormans on some of the stuff i subscribe to, who sound so confused about the real world. Some struggle so much, that they openly contradict themselves..
I just recommend your channel..
Whether they bother watching or not, i dont know...
Hope they do...
Keep up the good work..x
"At that age they can still be controlled..." That's why the US military chooses that age too. You can't tell a mature thinking man to charge a machine gun. You can an 18 year old boy.
We had missionaries come to our door, we were just about to go to the pub for dinner so I invited them to join us, they declined. At the time I didn't know they weren't allowed to drink alcohol. Next time I will cook them a meal instead because that might show prove to them that there are kind people who aren't of the same faith.
And then (after the meal) spring it on them that you used lots of lots of cooking alcohol in the meal, and then see how fast they throw it all up!
I attended the Hill Camorah pageant in New York with a Mormon friend and family when I was approached by two sister missionaries. The one and I had a similar passion for literature and we really hit it off. Her companion had to literally lead her away by the arm. I now realized that was maybe first times I really related to girl. Ahhh, what can I say. You never forget your first crush.
Keep these stories coming. Thanks
Wow, great video, you two! Lex, please invite your hubby on more often. His perspective is very much appreciated.
My mission stories aren't as dramatic, but did teach me what it's like to live in a fascist dictatorship. Family/friends still try to use those two years as leverage to get me back to church. "But sacrament meeting is at the same time as my drunk sex orgy. I can't be in two places at once." That usually gets them off my back for a while.
Seaside Oregon is beautiful place, thank you for wearing the hoodie.
Probably a dumb question, but I'm a level back from my active family members. Can missionaries accept drinks/snacks from the houses they visit? I'm not letting anybody in, but I always feel bad for these kids who look like they're about an inch away from dying in the southern swamp heat.
Yes! I still feed them if they stop by, and most members will take turns sending them dinner. Like they won't be able to accept coffee or things against the Word of Wisdom, but they are just kids away from home and on their own for the first time.
When I was on my mission I fell down a flight of stairs and broke my shoulder. I was down for a month with pain, and out in the field for another month with the same pain and slowing everything down. When I went to talk to my mission president he told me that he told me that he thought I should have gone home at the start but that he wanted to leave it up to me. I thought that was uncalled for.
This needs to be a book 📚
Thank you for sharing. These stories are so heart breaking.
Love you Elder Rausch! Thanks for being so kind to me & my family.. I'd do anything I could for you. I hope you know that! (Even though you'll prob never see this comment) 🙏❤ -Jeremiah & Fam in Charleston, wv
For calling home twice a year, our mission was so big that there was no way to enforce it. Being in Mexico the bigger challenge was getting a phone in a remote area that wasn’t too expensive. Even in the city it was difficult if you didn’t have one in your apartment since you’d have to find someone to lend theirs out.
I was given your shirt for my birthday and I love it!
Aww that’s awesome!
I bought your ExMo Candle Co Scent! I can't wait to get it in the mail!
I hope you love it!! ♥️
In the MTC, had a 23 year old Elder (recent convert) complained that 8 hours a day wasn’t enough time to sleep. Every time we had an extended lunch for “studying” , he and his companion would head to the dorm area so he could get his sleep
I’m SOOOOOOOOOO GLAD I was never a salesman robot for that cult! And I’ll always be angry I wasted my life being raised in it and mind poisoned by it in the first place
What's street contact? I'm so glad that you're speaking out about this!
One of my best friends is Mormon and I am absolutely terrified at the fact that he may go on a mission
When I see the missionaries. I try to be kind and nice. I also tell them to be careful and I don't see any point in being mean
6:13 this, I'm fairly sure is actually true. They sweep you away before you can get a real taste of adult life. In fact, my seminary teacher was talking about this just yesterday (I'm a junior and being forced to take seminary). He said that they changed the mission age for guys to 18 in 2012, when he was 16 (he's really not old and I feel bad that he's so brainwashed). He literally said that they changed it so that there was less time for them to experience the real world and less time for them to "go astray". And I just thought that was so messed up. They're definitely doing it so there's not much time for them to make the decision themselves/learn the truth about the church. Its so they wont figure things out and leave the church before the "defining spiritual experience of a mission". If they go through the mission they're usually in too deep to think about questioning things
When I turned 19, I was told that you go on a mission even if you don't believe in The Church yet. The thinking is "If we can just get them out there, the brainwashing will take care of itself". It is soooo messed up Emi-Liz, and I'm so glad that you're catching on to their tricks at such a young age.
Oregon fan here. Love your Seaside Oregon Coast shirt! 😉
A mission is part of life--gives you an opportunity to serve and be stress tested. You could call this post "the trauma of serving in the military", the trauma of having a job, the trauma of going to college , the trauma of having a job--basically the trauma of any of any life experience. Life is hard basically. I grew up in rural area and worked very hard jobs growing up. My mission was not that difficult and was actually a lot of fun. After my mission, there were many years of college and deprivation that were very challenging and difficult but rewarding experience. My parents and siblings and now my children have had great missions. I find that most who complain about their mission, also complain and blame their parents for their upbringing, blame their employers. ex spouses, and the list goes on and on.
Can you do a video explaining the link between the Free Masons and the Mormon temple hand signs? They look identical.
That's because they are the same.
I have trauma on my mission where I caught some badddd fungus infection, living in a cheap ancient low resolution apartment in Hong Kong with mold and rainy goo, and bugs... I had bad fevers, and inadequate insurance (even though it was expensive as hell for a McWorker).... A Mega billion dollar church that can afford the olympics and a mega mall, with 300 Billion in reserves can't even afford my health care and what made matters worse I had to stay extra time. I converted nobody, and the mission president made fun of my learning disability... and the meds the DID have me on caused insane hallcinations. Oh look I must be a prophet because I tripped balls on ancient 1930's meds because I was super broke and saw stuff... I had a raging brain swelling from the bugs... (strange mosquitos).
These hit hard.