Teen girl here to thank you for saying this. I'm tired of people acting like women don't struggle or enjoy things. We often talk about women giving in to pressure from men and blame them for women's sin, I think.
I've struggled with this, and I found that you can't rely on yourself. You need to rely on God, and something I found helped was to pray continually, flee from the environments where you are tempted, and if necessary, end some friendships. This battle isn't easy nor is it short. It took my years to overcome my struggle, and honestly, I still slip up sometimes and look at guys with lust. Pray. Lean on God, and seek guidance from wiser Christians in person if you are able to. I will pray that the Lord will save you from your sin and help you to break free from this addiction. The end result is worth it.
❤ The Holy Spirit will give you the strength. I'm currently on a content detox. I recently stopped porn (I know I haven't seen porn throughout October, so about 30 days free). I know it's tough too, I've been on and off on this journey for 7 years and I'm only 22 😢. Just remember you are forgiven and His grace is sufficient for you. I still think about sex but I believe I'll be able to get to the point where I can have a full day when my thoughts are not interrupted by a sex scene. God bless you
@@tamiausten873 I’ve taken steps such as leaving my phone outside my room at night, filling up my schedule with activities and tiring myself out with a workout before bed. This has helped tremendously. Thanks for being an encouragement.
We no longer live like it was 2000 years ago. You can't apply the same principles to an overly sexualized society. Before, men and women were prepared for marriage at a young age. Also, the state didn't get involved in your marriage. That's not the case nowadays. Marriage is no longer the same as it used to be, and people aren't getting prepared for it. Things need to be put in the right context. Basically, they only tell you to be celibate until marriage. But don't provide any tools to overcome horniness etc. All that creates is shame and an even more perverse mind.
You don't need a marraige license. Go to like minded believers in your community. Give your vows and you are married under our heavenly father. The government has no reins on biblical marriage . Its costs nothing especially in a country ran by the Synagauge of Satan...
Your penis and testicles shrink 30% and you become hypogonadal if you do that. These are detrimental and insanely damaging to your reproductive system. USE IT OR LOOSE IT
@@thereaper7682that’s somewhat true for now but the west has the unfortunate ability to push their values on the rest of the world and in a lot of cases actually forcing those values down everyone else’s throats. Like the saying goes, americas greatest export is its problems
This is totally right, i was even thinking about this before watching your video. I'm a woman i have 19 yo and the first time that i watched pornography was when i was 6 yo, so imagine that. Of course this is an issue that has a lot to do with women too, girls can also get addicted to pornography and masturbation. And its been such a struggle for me, because I experienced a lot of what you mentioned, not having someone who to trust this to be able to get out of it. Been watching it and committing this sin for a while, then repenting and stopping it for 1 or 2 months and then falling again on it for 2 weeks. Being good one week, failing the next one. Everyone thinking I was the "purest" and the more "saint" girl in church (or one of the most), me even thinking like " ..yeah I was.." because also I had discernment and growth on other things. I came to Christ 6 years ago, when I was 13 yo, and since then like everyone thought I was super good. And in some ways I was... But never on the sexual part, which no one knew and no one suspected... Not even a friend, or my parents. So no, I was not good at all. And I have to say thank you for sharing this, this is the first time I even talk about it about myself in a public way (because this comment is public) because I have so much fear it can become gossip at church. So nononono But yeas we need to have truthfull conversations, and yes we need to talk about the deeper issues about this topic, yes of course. God bless you
THANK YOU FOR ADDRESSING THIS ISSUE! I’m so sick of feeling ashamed for wanting to have sex… it’s natural! But I don’t do it outside of marriage cuz I do stay celibate and believe it’s so important to share that special part of myself with a true Man of God I’m married to.
First!!! lol But facts, just watching a little of this, my church did not teach me properly about sex growing up and the world taught me. They just said because the Bible said don't have sex. Yes I understand but I need help and details. It was hard, but the church need to talk about it!
And why should church teach something, i know its Truth,but things like WW2 is real and we rearly hear about this in church, and bible says fle from sexual imorality,so why church should teach you that?
Thank you so much for mentioning same-sex attraction along with the other struggles the people can go through. SSA can so often be treated as a completely separate issue and is even more avoided than other issues surrounding sex, so it's great to hear you bring this up in a more 'normal' way. Makes me want to share 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." To anyone reading this: you're not alone. The devil wants you to believe that you are. He wants you to stay isolated and not seek help, from God or from others. Don't let him win. Reach out, speak out, and start having these important conversations, no matter how hard or awkward they might start off as. You got this, and God's got you too :)
Thank you, this comment has the potential to help a lot of people. Christian’s have the tendency to treat SSA as a different kind of sin when it’s not, it’s just one of the temptation that humans can fall into and we need to have these conversations to help people understand that in God we can all realize that SSA while normal as a sinful nature of man can be overcome with the help of God. We shouldn’t hate homosexuals but love and understand them as Jesus would in order to help overcome
I definitely feel like sometimes, some Churches needs to teach more about not just God's design for sex, but why sex is so important for being in the context of marriage only and how it's more than just a physical act, instead of some Churches just saying, "Don't have sex" and then leaving young people to figure out the rest.
@@trevrockrock16 I'm referring to the fact that some Churches have taught that sexuality *in and of itself* is dirty, making people even embarrassed to talk about it, on their wedding night. I mean, if we are taught many aspects of from God's Word in the Church, then what's wrong with ever talking about sex in a good and healthy way in Church (not impure), based on scripture and what God says about it?
I believed lies about sex, I was taught not to have it and it made me despise the church and christianity because I thought God didn't want us to enjoy things. If someone would have told me God made it and wanted me to have it because he made it I would have honored God with it.
Great message brother. You’re a leader in this field. Much courage and experience. Your clarity and ease of articulating your ideas are proof that you’ve retained for an extended amount of time
Interesting what you said here…”Your clarity and ease of articulating your ideas are proof that you’ve retained for an extended amount of time…” More on this please. 🤔
Thank you man for talking about this issue. I can definitely relate to this and I have been trying to fight the temptations of lust in my young adult life. I was in a serious relationship for almost 2 years and it was healthy and great. But I struggled with lust and I did not cheat in the relationship, but I kept looking at spicy pictures and videos and I noticed it was a problem. There were other outside factors that affected me such as loosing my last job and not effective communication. All those things combined resulted in my ex girlfriend breaking up with me and now I have been trying to collect the pieces and start a new path. I want to be better in my next relationship and learn from my mistakes.
Thanks for the message. Your story is very similar to mine. Through God, I have been able to escape my addiction, and I pray that others may find freedom in Christ.
Thank you Isaac for this video. I've been stuck in a kind of spiritual rut lately and i've been struggling with lust too. Just needed this message of encouragement, lets be more honest about this stuff!
I will be very honest: Talking to pastoral leaders in the church can be one of the worst things to do, usually these pastors or leaders got married young, or they have already been promiscuous ('and gotten it out of their system') then got married later, so they never had to learn self-control in the area of sexual temptation. They can be SO judgemental, self-reighteous and lack empathy in the area of pleasing God in spirit AND BODY. All the advice they give is purely theory, that's where the confusion comes in, they talk about all the things you 'should' do but they have never done it themselves and they publicly ridicule and shame those who have fallen into sexual tempation (later down the line it comes out that some of these pastors lead a double life or their past comes out). Secondly, on the topic of masturbation (I don't watch porn btw). I'll go MONTHS without falling into temptation (i mean the temptation of masturbation - I really don't like doing it I'll be honest), the grace of God is sometimes so strong that I can grit my teeth, bear through it and resist. However, doubt hits me like a wave and the urge is so strong, that it is painful to not have an outlet. I am a virgin, female, I'm 25, have never had a boyfriend or dated, or kissed, I have absoltely no romantic experience. I pray, try to fast, I have accountability, love Christ, read the Word, go to church, exercise, have amazing friends, and go out. Yet, the human experience of realizing that there is a chance that I may not get married is too much to bare, and that will trigger the tempatation. How can you fast away sexual desire?.. I have cried for God to make me asexual and take the desire for marriage away... I am not in condemnation, I believe in the profound goodness of God, but the only thing I can honestly say, the best thing to do is talk to qualified christian cousellor/therapist in this area. Not all pastors are qualified or can handle this topic with love, empathy, compassion and truth.
U have to be content in God alone, then when he sees youre mature enough, he will give u a husband, but focus on him and eliminate anything that causes your mind to wander toward romance, trust me when u fall in love with God, u dont need romance... "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all shall be added unto you" Good luck sister
Hi!! Omg I'm the exact same age and have the same story!!! Expect it's fantasies and they can feel way too realistic. Wanna connect so we can spur each other in this area?
@@Aya_is_a_gamerWhile I agree that we should absolutely be pursuing the Lord in the midst of our waiting and beyond. I don't think it is constructive to measure our closeness with God as a "level unlock" for marriage. It simply comes down to God's timing and God's will. But let's not forget that God left us tools to find such a person. Through our relationship with God, getting to know Him through prayer and the word, He gives us a roadmap to what a Godly man and woman should look like.
There needs to be balance in church on subjects in the tough subjects like sex grief loneliness mastetbation openness subject of sin . Subject of holiness. Hidden sins kills the passion of god and his purpose for our lives we all sin and fall short of the glory of god . Shame in sin . Repenting of our sin is the key .
Thank you so much for taking that risk. I just found your channel and that’s only the second video I’ve seen but just WOW. The humility and courage it takes to do that. God bless you. That is about as Christlike as it gets! And the point about how these kinds of issues are considered solely “Mens issues,” thanks for stating that outright with way more tact than I could. That’s one of the biggest double standards possible. Peace!
At 6:20 it honestly it sounds exactly like me I’m suffering with no willpower to fall into temptation and masterbation so I just don’t know what to do besides reading my Bible, praying, meditating and watch these helpful videos and putting my trust in God
If I could express how I feel about my body and sex, I don't think I'd have ever watched porn or at least as much as I used to. Now I don't watch porn anymore but I have a library of content in my head for when I'm less busy and feeling horny. I'm a virgin and I've never masturbated but I'm still pretty sexual and I feel like a ticking bomb. I want to be able to discuss this without shame. May God help His Church, especially us in Africa. The shame surrounding sex is crazy here, especially among Christians
Amazing you bring this up. Having lived as an atheist for 19 years before finding Jesus, I find the church's approach to this topic strange. On one hand, I see how purity culture has made young men legalistic and more afraid of women (as if they aren't enough already) and cast doubt on normal behavior (i.e. is dating/hugging allowable). Then on the other hand no solution is offered to the fallout that comes from this repression. Perhaps there are small groups of support I dont know about, but generally I don't see sexual topics spoken of in public nor mutual confession of sins be done (this seems to be a broader issue). There are a number of peripheral topics I also never heard much taught about to us youngsters. Modesty in clothing choice (honestly my biggest complaint about modern society), gender and dating dynamics (how to behave with the opposite gender platonically), and preparation for marriage. I've seen some select churches speak on this topic, but in my local circles (I attend a large, Bible teaching church and know folks from many others) I find the silent treatment. It's painful obvious I am not the only follower of Christ who battles lust in my circles. I made huge progress since my conversion mainly due to confession to a brother in the faith and by never being indoctrinated by this hyper-purity mindset. I want to share this 'secret' (sadly it is one) with my spiritual family, but I realize it's a top-down issue too. But there's always hope. These sorts of videos are how change begins in this modern age, I guess. Keep on speaking on this!
A few months ago we were in Corinthians and our pastor wasn't afraid to address the issues of sexual immorality. Regardless sex outside of the covenant of marriage is dangerous and unhealthy and it is something that I'm guilty of, but as long as I'm still breathing God isn't done with me and I'm doing my best to live in repentance. Even though we're not officially married yet I look at my fiance as my wife, we stopped sleeping in the same vicinity together to honor God. I sleep in the camper and she sleeps in the house, we only live on the same property together because we have a daughter.
Thank you for this discussion and for sharing your journey. Wow, so relate to what you said about sexualizing hugs - haha! I wonder, could it be that a huge part of our Christian culture doesn't discuss these issues of porn and masturbation, even same-sex attraction, because those who would be in positions to do so are maybe not free from it themselves? The Bible is so clear when defining, exposing and evening discussing sexual things - the old testament law is very open and factual about all things sexual! And totally, porn and masturbation are very real issues for girls and women, too. These things must be talked about, stated why their wrong in light of Scripture, and our stories of victory have to be shared because our testimony is hope for others that God can do it for them! It takes boldness in the Holy Spirit but we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony! (Rev. 12:11)
It seems that one issue with sexual purity, which I don't see talked about a lot, is that the average person goes through puberty around 12, but the average age of marriage is 31 in the US as a whole (some states are in the mid-20s). This means that there's likely to be well over a decade during which a person is going to just have to live with what is a very powerful urge (even more so in the teen years when hormones are high and executive functioning in nonexistent) without having any "good" way to deal with it. I'm not sure how to fix this...especially since it seems that the couples with the lowest rates of divorce are the ones who get married between 25-32.
In the 1970's (and for decades prior), the average age of marriage was 21 for women and 24 for men. And it was much the same for centuries before that. Yes, this is a modern issue when it comes to sexual purity: people now have to wait an entire decade or so longer to get married (and thus to finally have sex if one is practicing chastity) than people used to in the past. And we see the outcome of this today: our modern (secular) culture now promotes one's entire 20's as a "partying and fooling around" phase and to hold-off on marriage until one's 30's. Such a "partying and fooling around" phase had never before existed in history since people used to marry in their early 20's. All of this is to say, practicing chastity today (waiting until marriage to have sex) has become far more difficult in recent years than it used to be in decades past.
The ministry i am apart of practices discipling relationships where each man has a mentor. We are encouraged to be open with one another and practice 2 Timothy 3:16-17 in which we teach and correct one another with the word. We talk about our struggle with lust and impurity and hold each other accountable with the word.
Denying ones flesh is far easier than most let on. Call on our heavenly father. Repent, he will give you strength to stop immediately, but you have to want to repent of sin. All forms of sexual immorality will not enter the kingdom to come. Doesn't matter how much faith you say you have... Abide in his commandments, love your neighbors, help the widows:( Hard to do in the modern day as they hide there struggles...) Our Father will bless you.
Rant: I believe the sanctification process in general is God transforming us from the inside, which seems like discipline and self control, both to others and yourself It can even feel like "I, ME, am holier now than 5 years back", but remember, the flesh cannot please God The Spirit can (not your spirit, even though it is brand new and connected to God) No works from you will be with 100% pure motive and with objective divine perspective and reasoning unless you've been changed by _*God*_. He does the work!! I don't know why we (should) treat sexuality any different than any other behaviour Ask God, and He will give you mercy, so that you can change. And when the change is done, you won't have difficulties with it anymore Yes, it can take years, but it can also go quick... You will get so much mercy, that there will come to a point where you don't sin anymore because you've been so transformed Maybe you don't believe it, and *_that's_* the real problem, so you don't even try. But this is the true salvation, this is *_sanctification_* after you've been justified by belief in the sacrifice of Christ! So what about grace? Grace takes over where mercy is no longer needed. He will take you to such hights you cannot fanthom But we need mercy, to change so completely until the point that the sanctification process is complete, YOUR only part in it is to say "please change me", and then help God to help you You have a part to play too. Asking for change is the first step, then you'll get guided, and you try to listen and obey. And then you do that *_again_* , and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* That is how you change, you allow yourself to be led, your inner nature becoming "new" until you act like Christ Himself And then, one day, you won't need mercy anymore, because you won't sin, you've been transformed It is possible, it's not bullsh That *_IS_* what sanctification is Just because sex is a sensitive and embarassing matter that the "church" has scolded for 2000 years, does not mean it's no different area than any other It's the same recepie Read, pray to be changed, listen, take action to the best of your daily form and ability, and do that again, and again, and again... (As a pre-empty defence, if you believe me lie, why did Christ say "go and sin no more" if sanctification is not possible, and a sinless life is the endgame of what Christ wants for you) (God is greater in His capacity to change you than you are habitually sinning, don't limit your belief in regards to Christ, NOR your ability to be led! You _can_ change, but not by yourself)
What *needs* to be talked about *more* is that sex and its pleasures are WONDERFUL and MAGNIFICENT and TOTALLY WITHIN GOD'S DESIGN .. within the model of marriage--one man, one woman, becoming one flesh--and that the Bible talks about how the husband's body doesn't belong to him, it belongs to his wife, so husbands should not see is his wife as a body to take but as someone whom he can give his body to. So health and attractiveness, how he packages himself, is inferred in that. Yes, this "body belongs to his wife" also means giving, in other ways (sexually). The Bible talks about how the husband needs to satisfy and comfort his wife regularly. The woman's body has 3x more nerves designed for pleasure than the man, he needs to *give* ! Not take! Also, the woman, not the man, is supposed to be the adorer. The man does an initial pursuit of availability, but the woman is supposed to complete the pursuit. The Bible is subtle, but it *is* spelled out. We have it all backwards.
Hey man, just wanna say your channel is genuinely amazing and I can really see Jesus reflected throughout your content. What I want to say though is that I had struggled with masturbation and “light porn” as you put it going in and out of cycles since I was quite young and even now I’m still in my teens but God brought someone into my life who I could actually open up to and talk to about my struggles and it changed everything. Within a month that sin was ripped out of my life and the temptation to relapse just did not have power over me anymore. If Id’ve had your videos back then I do think it would’ve made a big difference in helping me come to be free of that sin but I’ve only found you now. Another thing is the shame that comes with sexuality now, there is a definite warped vision of what is pure and natural and what is actually shameful which I do think later on will have an effect on my sexual life in marriage of course but I know I have the Holy Spirit and Jesus to guide me through these scars, pointing me in the right direction with someone who will be there to support me. So thank you for making yourself vulnerable to the internet which is very courageous and God bless you!
We should talk about how this topic can effect our romantic relationships and our relationship with God. We should talk about how it impacts us and why God wants us to not interact with these bad habits! One thing I had to learned the hard way is how sex has connected me to a man I am not marrying. It’s been extremely difficult to leave my ex and that’s because of sex!! It’s such a beautiful things but in the context of marriage!!! I tried so hard to wait until marriage! Waited until 23 but put my self right in the middle of temptation! That’s okay! I am still loved! Love the channel even though it’s for men lol!!
I talk to my boys about this alot and the importance of it being with their wife, pornography is a poison that invades the very fabric of our being and taints the soul, heed my warning sex is a wonderful institution designed and created by God, but pornography is a perversion of that institution and their are consequences for consuming it. Great video by the way!
As a single Christian woman I always thought sex was a dirty thing and when you got married it was still dirty but you got a free pass. Ever since I listened to Christian psychologist Dr. Julie Slattery I now understand it isn't bad or dirty. You're just supposed to wait until marriage.
it is very importent to discuss this thing since it is one of the biggest things we identify by. and never talking about this doesent help anything either? it just makes people explore this on their own since it is what we find ourselfs in and have needs for, wich could open up a whole can of worms within itself. its like, when there has been put so much shame on something that is supose to be a beautiful thing? and people get a taste of what that is all about? people get no relationship with it, and they rather care about how it feels, and chase it for the dopamine that it gives, rather then having it for values because it bonds people together in a intimate and loving way. i have heard women say they lose headaches because they give their husband sex when they didn feel like having it. it is when we become selfish with this that it becomes more destructive then anything else
To be completely honest, I went to an all boys catholic academy growing up, and it was very good at teaching me that all sexual interactions with women is wrong. They played “pilgrim’s progress” the movie for us at a young age and it scarred me for life. I was there for 15 years. Even though I know the King James Bible in French, Spanish, and English i was deathly afraid of intimacy. I moved to the states when I was 17 and I was somewhat happy to be free of the judgement and freedom of thought here. My faith fell apart and I became agnostic for a few years, and after I left high school started working in aviation. Whenever I’d meet women that I was attracted to, even though I didn’t believe nearly as much as I did before I could not touch her, or be touched because of what i was told and saw when I was younger. I haven’t had sex as of yet, but I found myself going back to Catholicism/Christianity because I already don’t want to have sex anymore, and I think something is wrong with me.
No problem with wanting to wait for sex. If you don't know the person well, it sucks. Maybe getting closer to women in general will help heal some of the terror. That's what I'm working on right now but with men. I was not allowed around men growing up, so to me, y'all are a mystery. Not to mention all the misconceptions that happen when your only experience with women is rumors from other men. Again, that happened to me, but switch genders. Nothing is wrong with you, you just had a natural reaction to an unnatural situation. Now you have the chance to heal and grow. God's got you.
Yea I totally agree, he is making great and very true points but the scripture is Gods word and has power. Showing why it is important to speak about these topics from a biblical perspective will only make a better and bigger impact for this particular issue
I'm really in a fix. I have my old friends (girls my age) who I could probably discuss sex with but they are not virgins and don't believe in waiting till marriage. I'm not even going to consider talking to my mum who's over sixty😂😂 very different generation( I wish she was in her late 40s🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️). I don't want to talk to people who may convince me over time to get a boyfriend and do it(they've made jokes about this recently) , I also don't want to be judged for this, I'm already feeling judged for other things.
I’m a cradle Catholic and I feel like Catholicism views it very shamefully depending on priests. most priests have never experienced sex drugs or drunkenness so the relatability is not there. I tried explaining an acid trip at my Priest during confession once because I legit had a soul resurrecting experience and it felt so out of pocket because he’s been grounded his whole life. I love talking about this with ones who been in these situations, working a regular job 9-5 job, and not living in a way a priest or monk lives. I definitely respect them, 100% and they say they “give it all up for Jesus” which is amazing utterly amazing, but part of me too feels like we were not operated to be so afraid to live and “give everything up” in this life since Jesus does say “why are you afraid?” I understand we need shepherds to guide us but reliability is hard with them at times. it’s feeling good and very real talking about it with others who are just trying there very best to be with our Lord Jesus in heaven and not stack sin like we used to when we were not faithfully talking to him almost daily.
Great video, it definitely makes you think about a lot more when it comes to sex and yes our women have been left out as well. I personally thought that you would have also mentioned hook up culture and promiscuity as well since that is something that most people avoid. But it’s not just that alone. It’s deeper than we’ve thought.
I feel that the “church” is already broadcasting the truth that alternative sexual desires of same sex or an alternate identity is not God given. The world just doesn’t want to listen even though we are giving truth they don’t want to believe it. If they side with the spirit of the world then they can do what they feel instead of resisting sin. Ungodly urges are strong but if we seek God He can Help us.
Where? I'm Catholic - lead me to these places. I feel like when they do they're mostly idealistic and usually from married people who do not address the pain and challenges of being 'pure' when not married. I have recently found Theology of the Body youtube channel which is the most clear one so far. But sounds like you know others so enlighten us
@@tinaa3459 it’s funny 🤣 theology of the body was what I was thinking of. And even the other channels I was thinking about I believe interviewed the guy from theology of the body, like Pints with Aquinas and Ascension presents
I think in my opinion sex is a beautiful and expressing sexuality is beautiful If I feel sexual towards someone why not show it, I’m a new Christian and I don’t know a lot I’m new to this but if God created to be sexual why suppress it? It’s what I want to know we are not perfect
Jesus taught (in Matthew 19:11-12) that some individuals are fated to remain single and celibate. So yes, God Himself says that it's okay to not be interested in sex.
Do you think this is only an issue for unmarried men and women? It’s not. My mother and father were married for nearly 65 years. My mother was highly dysfunctional regarding sexual intimacy. In that 65 years of time, there would be decades at a time when she would withhold any intimacy from my father. This had a collateral affect on me, that I can only describe as a type of sexual abuse. I remember my own father, telling me that my mother’s attitude, was that there was simply too much sex in the world, and she was on a one woman mission to stomp as much of it out as she could. I highly doubt that my story is unique.
Yeah, makes me not even want to work towards that goal of marriage. Why would I want to work that hard for a sexless marriage? I'm told by everyone I have to work hard and be fit and have my entire life figured out already before even getting a chance at marriage. I want the juice to be worth the squeeze. Throw in the fact I'm autistic and wanting to do it the right way and my chances are even more slim of even having the chance for any relationship. I know I should have faith in God that it will all work out but from my experience all he ever does is ruin any chances I get. I know that for his plan for me that might be a good thing but if that plan involves working my butt of for a sexless marriage I would rather just have nothing.
So to the young men like myself who struggle with this sin, especially those of us that have high levels of sexual desire, what do you do with all that energy when you’ve done everything you need to do for the day and you still can’t get rid of this desire? It’s insanely difficult for me not to give in when the urge feels so strong.
Learn breathwork. Learn to channel your energy. It's the most effective way in decreasing the desire. This is coming from someone who would PMO for sometimes 12+ hours in one day. Prayer helps yes, but I have found that controlling my breath is the most effective way to controlling it. Meditation also helps as well. Prayer + meditation is incredibly powerful. Let me know if you got more questions, I'd love to help out.
I try and focus or think of something else. It's very hard at first but after a couple of weeks or the first month it gets easier. The really hard bit which I feel doesn't get talked about is how to stop viewing women through such a lustful lens. I admit it's something I struggle with, even after 5 months without pron or cranking the hog. I think we should all remember that everyone has a soul, has gone through trials and tribulations and suffers just like we do, even if they are attractive. Once you pass this mental block you'll be able to talk to women without being afraid of being called a creep, because you will just be talking to them like any other person would.
@@potatogirlcultist19 Thinking of something else will eventually lead me back to lustful habits and I can’t be rid of that lens as of yet. See, I’ve also made a hobby of it in more subtle ways- through my artwork to be exact. I’m anonymously paid to draw artwork of women in very lewd clothing, form, anything that the client or I think of really. It’s become harder to let go of because I’m rewarded for it. I’ve kept this business private for 2 years, and gained more clients then I ever thought possible for doing this. To be honest I don’t know what it would take for me to stop all of this.
Sex is private between only the married couple. It should be private. I’m sorry but I think that’s the reason the world is going the wrong way, because sex has become public. If it were truly private then what happens between a husband and wife wouldn’t be compared. If your spouse was your only outlet then you would seek for greater intimacy and relationship with your spouse.
This is why christians need to start pushing boys to be ready to have a good income job and be married by age 18-24. If we are designed to have sex at around the age of 12, imagine being a virgin /married till 31. I regret having been only taught about the gospel but not the importance of financial stability or what Christian women want in a Christian man. I know for many people, their parents lack sorely on the gospel side, but for me as a pk, it was the opposite.
God designed us as sexual beings? No that's Freud not Christianity! Sexuality Is an image of a unification with God not the other way around! As of the deviance we had very good ways to talk about it that we just threw out! Where do you think succubus and incubus came from? It the way we Christians talk about this stuff and why it matter and how it integrates Into Creation and the Spiritual Battle! I hope you can see how protestantism is directly linked to these kinds of problems. You should infact feel uncomfortable about sexuality BTW and the way you deal with this is by imaging and understanding the deeper Truth that applies fully to the particular that should stay hidden. A secular way to speak about is to understand the patterns and live them and the rest should be automatic.
I wish the Protestant denominations would have the rite of confession like the Catholic Church. It would be a good thing to have another person to be accountable too and not go gossiping about your skeletons in the closet to everybody.
listening to people who pretend they are friends with imaginary nonsense about sex is a rather large mistake since they depend on declaring anything they don't personally like to be "evil".
@@sinfullyunleashed5667 Let me ask you a question: would you listen to someone who says certain things are wrong and don't do them if they have no evidence to support their claims? Your answer should clarify things for you. "No disrespect, but would mind elaborating a bit more?"
Waited for marriage. Worst decision of my life. Thank myself every day that I left the cult of Christianity. It has absolutely no bearing on how reality functions. Christians are so behind in every area of life - sexuality, economics, politics, life, relationships. It's why you'll rarely if ever see christians in the forefront of any sort of groundbreaking movement. There're too busy trying to catch up with society. It wrecked so much of my life, especially purity culture. Sexuality is life force that christians constantly judge themselves for and carry so much shame. It wasn't until I left that I actually started to heal my addictions, got real therapy, healed my codependancy issues. All caused by BS christian theology, culture and SO much shame. You won't realize how much shame you're actually carrying until you leave the christian bubble.
You are not greater or wiser than the creator God who designed sex for marriage. Whatever experience u had in your marriage has nothing to do with God but something u need his help to heal and restore from.
Nope, there is no sciptures that explicitly state you cannot have sex with another person outside of marriage along as they are not in a marriage as well. Prunes, boomers, and perfectionists will debate this but IT (The Bible) does NOT explicitly state it, you can imply whatever you like but IT (The Bible) does NOT say it.
I would compare the Bible to the constitution. Both are very vague, but it’s that way because one is 2,700 years old and another is 236 years old. It’s amazing how these texts have lasted so long and still have meaning in today’s world. You just can’t accept the truth, that sex before marriage is a sin. It says it vaguely in many verses. If you do have sex before marriage, I personally feel like it’s not the biggest thing in the world, you do you. Casual meaningless sex is horrible for our society as a whole. It just makes everything seem very nihilistic, and there’s no true meaning to it. Im going to try and wait until after marriage. Love is sacrifice, If you and your partner truly love each other, you’ll make sacrifices for each other. I was thinking you can always sign a prenup so you can see what your assets are and if anything bad happens you’re protected. That’s the biggest thing of marriage especially now its tough. You can lose everything in one big swoop I wish there’s a ceremony now that allows you to have sex with your partner without truly being married
Teen girl here to thank you for saying this. I'm tired of people acting like women don't struggle or enjoy things. We often talk about women giving in to pressure from men and blame them for women's sin, I think.
I’m struggling with porn and lust in a very deep way right now. Please pray that I could break free from this addiction.
Don’t rely on your own strength or willpower. Rely on Jesus and He will help you. I’ve struggled with it for many years too.
I've struggled with this, and I found that you can't rely on yourself. You need to rely on God, and something I found helped was to pray continually, flee from the environments where you are tempted, and if necessary, end some friendships. This battle isn't easy nor is it short. It took my years to overcome my struggle, and honestly, I still slip up sometimes and look at guys with lust. Pray. Lean on God, and seek guidance from wiser Christians in person if you are able to. I will pray that the Lord will save you from your sin and help you to break free from this addiction. The end result is worth it.
❤ The Holy Spirit will give you the strength. I'm currently on a content detox. I recently stopped porn (I know I haven't seen porn throughout October, so about 30 days free). I know it's tough too, I've been on and off on this journey for 7 years and I'm only 22 😢. Just remember you are forgiven and His grace is sufficient for you. I still think about sex but I believe I'll be able to get to the point where I can have a full day when my thoughts are not interrupted by a sex scene. God bless you
@@tamiausten873 I’ve taken steps such as leaving my phone outside my room at night, filling up my schedule with activities and tiring myself out with a workout before bed. This has helped tremendously. Thanks for being an encouragement.
Call on the Holy Spirit, then seek knowledge, I recommend reading "Easy Peasy Way to Quit P***".
We no longer live like it was 2000 years ago. You can't apply the same principles to an overly sexualized society. Before, men and women were prepared for marriage at a young age. Also, the state didn't get involved in your marriage. That's not the case nowadays. Marriage is no longer the same as it used to be, and people aren't getting prepared for it. Things need to be put in the right context. Basically, they only tell you to be celibate until marriage. But don't provide any tools to overcome horniness etc. All that creates is shame and an even more perverse mind.
You don't need a marraige license. Go to like minded believers in your community. Give your vows and you are married under our heavenly father. The government has no reins on biblical marriage . Its costs nothing especially in a country ran by the Synagauge of Satan...
Failed marriages is high only in the west and it's still a holds an honour in society universally
Your penis and testicles shrink 30% and you become hypogonadal if you do that. These are detrimental and insanely damaging to your reproductive system. USE IT OR LOOSE IT
@@thereaper7682that’s somewhat true for now but the west has the unfortunate ability to push their values on the rest of the world and in a lot of cases actually forcing those values down everyone else’s throats. Like the saying goes, americas greatest export is its problems
I think you probably didn't listen carefully. I didn't hear him argue for what you're arguing against.
My church never gets into stuff like this, thank God for people like you who get into the thick of it
Becouse thay are sacred, and don't belong in ears of kids , yes its Truth your parents must have sex to you could be born
Maybe it’s time to leave that church
@@Tonyselbow i don't think so
@@BasiliscBazyes and go to another church who speak the truth about the blood of Jesus Christ
@@CoolBoy-rh7qi since when is sex and blood of Christ same thing?
As a woman...God bless you Isaac. You have no idea the impact you're making in God's kingdom. Crying my eyes out at the moment🤣😭
This is totally right, i was even thinking about this before watching your video. I'm a woman i have 19 yo and the first time that i watched pornography was when i was 6 yo, so imagine that. Of course this is an issue that has a lot to do with women too, girls can also get addicted to pornography and masturbation. And its been such a struggle for me, because I experienced a lot of what you mentioned, not having someone who to trust this to be able to get out of it. Been watching it and committing this sin for a while, then repenting and stopping it for 1 or 2 months and then falling again on it for 2 weeks. Being good one week, failing the next one. Everyone thinking I was the "purest" and the more "saint" girl in church (or one of the most), me even thinking like " ..yeah I was.." because also I had discernment and growth on other things. I came to Christ 6 years ago, when I was 13 yo, and since then like everyone thought I was super good. And in some ways I was... But never on the sexual part, which no one knew and no one suspected... Not even a friend, or my parents. So no, I was not good at all.
And I have to say thank you for sharing this, this is the first time I even talk about it about myself in a public way (because this comment is public) because I have so much fear it can become gossip at church. So nononono
But yeas we need to have truthfull conversations, and yes we need to talk about the deeper issues about this topic, yes of course.
God bless you
THANK YOU FOR ADDRESSING THIS ISSUE! I’m so sick of feeling ashamed for wanting to have sex… it’s natural! But I don’t do it outside of marriage cuz I do stay celibate and believe it’s so important to share that special part of myself with a true Man of God I’m married to.
Get married. After a couple of years, that desire to have sex will go away.
@@Jaco3688😂
First!!! lol
But facts, just watching a little of this, my church did not teach me properly about sex growing up and the world taught me. They just said because the Bible said don't have sex. Yes I understand but I need help and details. It was hard, but the church need to talk about it!
And why should church teach something, i know its Truth,but things like WW2 is real and we rearly hear about this in church, and bible says fle from sexual imorality,so why church should teach you that?
Thank you so much for mentioning same-sex attraction along with the other struggles the people can go through. SSA can so often be treated as a completely separate issue and is even more avoided than other issues surrounding sex, so it's great to hear you bring this up in a more 'normal' way.
Makes me want to share 1 Corinthians 10:13: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
To anyone reading this: you're not alone. The devil wants you to believe that you are. He wants you to stay isolated and not seek help, from God or from others. Don't let him win. Reach out, speak out, and start having these important conversations, no matter how hard or awkward they might start off as. You got this, and God's got you too :)
Thank you, this comment has the potential to help a lot of people. Christian’s have the tendency to treat SSA as a different kind of sin when it’s not, it’s just one of the temptation that humans can fall into and we need to have these conversations to help people understand that in God we can all realize that SSA while normal as a sinful nature of man can be overcome with the help of God. We shouldn’t hate homosexuals but love and understand them as Jesus would in order to help overcome
I definitely feel like sometimes, some Churches needs to teach more about not just God's design for sex, but why sex is so important for being in the context of marriage only and how it's more than just a physical act, instead of some Churches just saying, "Don't have sex" and then leaving young people to figure out the rest.
Yeah it’s like the dare to resist drugs campaign
Just say no
Drug rates went up %20
@@trevrockrock16 I'm referring to the fact that some Churches have taught that sexuality *in and of itself* is dirty, making people even embarrassed to talk about it, on their wedding night. I mean, if we are taught many aspects of from God's Word in the Church, then what's wrong with ever talking about sex in a good and healthy way in Church (not impure), based on scripture and what God says about it?
I believed lies about sex, I was taught not to have it and it made me despise the church and christianity because I thought God didn't want us to enjoy things. If someone would have told me God made it and wanted me to have it because he made it I would have honored God with it.
Yes you should have IT whit your partner of oposite gender in one Room you two alone
Great message brother. You’re a leader in this field. Much courage and experience. Your clarity and ease of articulating your ideas are proof that you’ve retained for an extended amount of time
Interesting what you said here…”Your clarity and ease of articulating your ideas are proof that you’ve retained for an extended amount of time…” More on this please. 🤔
Most churches don't even talk about what Christ said; just their commentary on what he did; thanks for the vid
I have no idea what churches you’ve been going to then bruh.
Thank you man for talking about this issue. I can definitely relate to this and I have been trying to fight the temptations of lust in my young adult life. I was in a serious relationship for almost 2 years and it was healthy and great. But I struggled with lust and I did not cheat in the relationship, but I kept looking at spicy pictures and videos and I noticed it was a problem. There were other outside factors that affected me such as loosing my last job and not effective communication. All those things combined resulted in my ex girlfriend breaking up with me and now I have been trying to collect the pieces and start a new path. I want to be better in my next relationship and learn from my mistakes.
Will be praying for you. ❤
Thanks for the message. Your story is very similar to mine. Through God, I have been able to escape my addiction, and I pray that others may find freedom in Christ.
Thank you Isaac for this video. I've been stuck in a kind of spiritual rut lately and i've been struggling with lust too. Just needed this message of encouragement, lets be more honest about this stuff!
I will be very honest: Talking to pastoral leaders in the church can be one of the worst things to do, usually these pastors or leaders got married young, or they have already been promiscuous ('and gotten it out of their system') then got married later, so they never had to learn self-control in the area of sexual temptation. They can be SO judgemental, self-reighteous and lack empathy in the area of pleasing God in spirit AND BODY. All the advice they give is purely theory, that's where the confusion comes in, they talk about all the things you 'should' do but they have never done it themselves and they publicly ridicule and shame those who have fallen into sexual tempation (later down the line it comes out that some of these pastors lead a double life or their past comes out). Secondly, on the topic of masturbation (I don't watch porn btw). I'll go MONTHS without falling into temptation (i mean the temptation of masturbation - I really don't like doing it I'll be honest), the grace of God is sometimes so strong that I can grit my teeth, bear through it and resist. However, doubt hits me like a wave and the urge is so strong, that it is painful to not have an outlet. I am a virgin, female, I'm 25, have never had a boyfriend or dated, or kissed, I have absoltely no romantic experience. I pray, try to fast, I have accountability, love Christ, read the Word, go to church, exercise, have amazing friends, and go out. Yet, the human experience of realizing that there is a chance that I may not get married is too much to bare, and that will trigger the tempatation. How can you fast away sexual desire?.. I have cried for God to make me asexual and take the desire for marriage away... I am not in condemnation, I believe in the profound goodness of God, but the only thing I can honestly say, the best thing to do is talk to qualified christian cousellor/therapist in this area. Not all pastors are qualified or can handle this topic with love, empathy, compassion and truth.
Interesting. Good observations and take on these events
Catholic priests would be the solution, since they are unmarried.
U have to be content in God alone, then when he sees youre mature enough, he will give u a husband, but focus on him and eliminate anything that causes your mind to wander toward romance, trust me when u fall in love with God, u dont need romance...
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all shall be added unto you"
Good luck sister
Hi!! Omg I'm the exact same age and have the same story!!! Expect it's fantasies and they can feel way too realistic. Wanna connect so we can spur each other in this area?
@@Aya_is_a_gamerWhile I agree that we should absolutely be pursuing the Lord in the midst of our waiting and beyond. I don't think it is constructive to measure our closeness with God as a "level unlock" for marriage. It simply comes down to God's timing and God's will. But let's not forget that God left us tools to find such a person. Through our relationship with God, getting to know Him through prayer and the word, He gives us a roadmap to what a Godly man and woman should look like.
There needs to be balance in church on subjects in the tough subjects like sex grief loneliness mastetbation openness subject of sin . Subject of holiness. Hidden sins kills the passion of god and his purpose for our lives we all sin and fall short of the glory of god . Shame in sin . Repenting of our sin is the key .
Very good message. I completely agree that it is a topic not discussed enough. Bless you and your mission to get the conversation going.
The solution to this is to get married as soon as you hit puberty, but unfortunately at that age you don't have college degree, career, or money.
The weird thing about getting married early is that the couple could build those things together. But it would be wildly uncommon today
Absolutely! The church actually sets us up for failure!
Pope John Paul’s Theology of the body has been a huge eye opener on this topic. Highly recommend Christopher Wests writings on this and his podcast.
Thank you for making this video. It's great to listen to a Christian brother talk about this topic on a deep level.
Thank you so much for taking that risk. I just found your channel and that’s only the second video I’ve seen but just WOW. The humility and courage it takes to do that. God bless you. That is about as Christlike as it gets! And the point about how these kinds of issues are considered solely “Mens issues,” thanks for stating that outright with way more tact than I could. That’s one of the biggest double standards possible. Peace!
At 6:20 it honestly it sounds exactly like me I’m suffering with no willpower to fall into temptation and masterbation so I just don’t know what to do besides reading my Bible, praying, meditating and watch these helpful videos and putting my trust in God
If I could express how I feel about my body and sex, I don't think I'd have ever watched porn or at least as much as I used to. Now I don't watch porn anymore but I have a library of content in my head for when I'm less busy and feeling horny. I'm a virgin and I've never masturbated but I'm still pretty sexual and I feel like a ticking bomb. I want to be able to discuss this without shame. May God help His Church, especially us in Africa. The shame surrounding sex is crazy here, especially among Christians
Wow you just described my childhood and the exact struggles I went through
Amazing you bring this up. Having lived as an atheist for 19 years before finding Jesus, I find the church's approach to this topic strange. On one hand, I see how purity culture has made young men legalistic and more afraid of women (as if they aren't enough already) and cast doubt on normal behavior (i.e. is dating/hugging allowable). Then on the other hand no solution is offered to the fallout that comes from this repression. Perhaps there are small groups of support I dont know about, but generally I don't see sexual topics spoken of in public nor mutual confession of sins be done (this seems to be a broader issue).
There are a number of peripheral topics I also never heard much taught about to us youngsters. Modesty in clothing choice (honestly my biggest complaint about modern society), gender and dating dynamics (how to behave with the opposite gender platonically), and preparation for marriage.
I've seen some select churches speak on this topic, but in my local circles (I attend a large, Bible teaching church and know folks from many others) I find the silent treatment.
It's painful obvious I am not the only follower of Christ who battles lust in my circles. I made huge progress since my conversion mainly due to confession to a brother in the faith and by never being indoctrinated by this hyper-purity mindset. I want to share this 'secret' (sadly it is one) with my spiritual family, but I realize it's a top-down issue too.
But there's always hope. These sorts of videos are how change begins in this modern age, I guess. Keep on speaking on this!
I think one reason most churches don’t talk about it is because of demographics. Most church goers are over the age of 40 and married with kids.
A few months ago we were in Corinthians and our pastor wasn't afraid to address the issues of sexual immorality. Regardless sex outside of the covenant of marriage is dangerous and unhealthy and it is something that I'm guilty of, but as long as I'm still breathing God isn't done with me and I'm doing my best to live in repentance. Even though we're not officially married yet I look at my fiance as my wife, we stopped sleeping in the same vicinity together to honor God. I sleep in the camper and she sleeps in the house, we only live on the same property together because we have a daughter.
Thank you for this discussion and for sharing your journey. Wow, so relate to what you said about sexualizing hugs - haha!
I wonder, could it be that a huge part of our Christian culture doesn't discuss these issues of porn and masturbation, even same-sex attraction, because those who would be in positions to do so are maybe not free from it themselves? The Bible is so clear when defining, exposing and evening discussing sexual things - the old testament law is very open and factual about all things sexual! And totally, porn and masturbation are very real issues for girls and women, too. These things must be talked about, stated why their wrong in light of Scripture, and our stories of victory have to be shared because our testimony is hope for others that God can do it for them! It takes boldness in the Holy Spirit but we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony! (Rev. 12:11)
Thank you for using your platform to address this neglected issue.
It seems that one issue with sexual purity, which I don't see talked about a lot, is that the average person goes through puberty around 12, but the average age of marriage is 31 in the US as a whole (some states are in the mid-20s). This means that there's likely to be well over a decade during which a person is going to just have to live with what is a very powerful urge (even more so in the teen years when hormones are high and executive functioning in nonexistent) without having any "good" way to deal with it.
I'm not sure how to fix this...especially since it seems that the couples with the lowest rates of divorce are the ones who get married between 25-32.
In the 1970's (and for decades prior), the average age of marriage was 21 for women and 24 for men. And it was much the same for centuries before that. Yes, this is a modern issue when it comes to sexual purity: people now have to wait an entire decade or so longer to get married (and thus to finally have sex if one is practicing chastity) than people used to in the past. And we see the outcome of this today: our modern (secular) culture now promotes one's entire 20's as a "partying and fooling around" phase and to hold-off on marriage until one's 30's. Such a "partying and fooling around" phase had never before existed in history since people used to marry in their early 20's. All of this is to say, practicing chastity today (waiting until marriage to have sex) has become far more difficult in recent years than it used to be in decades past.
In prior times before the 20th century, puberty would begin around 16.
The ministry i am apart of practices discipling relationships where each man has a mentor. We are encouraged to be open with one another and practice 2 Timothy 3:16-17 in which we teach and correct one another with the word. We talk about our struggle with lust and impurity and hold each other accountable with the word.
Denying ones flesh is far easier than most let on. Call on our heavenly father. Repent, he will give you strength to stop immediately, but you have to want to repent of sin. All forms of sexual immorality will not enter the kingdom to come. Doesn't matter how much faith you say you have... Abide in his commandments, love your neighbors, help the widows:( Hard to do in the modern day as they hide there struggles...) Our Father will bless you.
Rant:
I believe the sanctification process in general is God transforming us from the inside, which seems like discipline and self control, both to others and yourself
It can even feel like "I, ME, am holier now than 5 years back", but remember, the flesh cannot please God
The Spirit can (not your spirit, even though it is brand new and connected to God)
No works from you will be with 100% pure motive and with objective divine perspective and reasoning unless you've been changed by _*God*_. He does the work!!
I don't know why we (should) treat sexuality any different than any other behaviour
Ask God, and He will give you mercy, so that you can change. And when the change is done, you won't have difficulties with it anymore
Yes, it can take years, but it can also go quick...
You will get so much mercy, that there will come to a point where you don't sin anymore because you've been so transformed
Maybe you don't believe it, and *_that's_* the real problem, so you don't even try. But this is the true salvation, this is *_sanctification_* after you've been justified by belief in the sacrifice of Christ!
So what about grace?
Grace takes over where mercy is no longer needed. He will take you to such hights you cannot fanthom
But we need mercy, to change so completely until the point that the sanctification process is complete, YOUR only part in it is to say "please change me", and then help God to help you
You have a part to play too. Asking for change is the first step, then you'll get guided, and you try to listen and obey.
And then you do that *_again_* , and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_* and *_again_*
That is how you change, you allow yourself to be led, your inner nature becoming "new" until you act like Christ Himself
And then, one day, you won't need mercy anymore, because you won't sin, you've been transformed
It is possible, it's not bullsh
That *_IS_* what sanctification is
Just because sex is a sensitive and embarassing matter that the "church" has scolded for 2000 years, does not mean it's no different area than any other
It's the same recepie
Read, pray to be changed, listen, take action to the best of your daily form and ability, and do that again, and again, and again...
(As a pre-empty defence, if you believe me lie, why did Christ say "go and sin no more" if sanctification is not possible, and a sinless life is the endgame of what Christ wants for you)
(God is greater in His capacity to change you than you are habitually sinning, don't limit your belief in regards to Christ, NOR your ability to be led! You _can_ change, but not by yourself)
Keep going brother. God bless you. Ask for wisdom, the wise save souls 🙏❤️
What *needs* to be talked about *more* is that sex and its pleasures are WONDERFUL and MAGNIFICENT and TOTALLY WITHIN GOD'S DESIGN .. within the model of marriage--one man, one woman, becoming one flesh--and that the Bible talks about how the husband's body doesn't belong to him, it belongs to his wife, so husbands should not see is his wife as a body to take but as someone whom he can give his body to. So health and attractiveness, how he packages himself, is inferred in that. Yes, this "body belongs to his wife" also means giving, in other ways (sexually). The Bible talks about how the husband needs to satisfy and comfort his wife regularly. The woman's body has 3x more nerves designed for pleasure than the man, he needs to *give* ! Not take! Also, the woman, not the man, is supposed to be the adorer. The man does an initial pursuit of availability, but the woman is supposed to complete the pursuit. The Bible is subtle, but it *is* spelled out. We have it all backwards.
Hey man, just wanna say your channel is genuinely amazing and I can really see Jesus reflected throughout your content. What I want to say though is that I had struggled with masturbation and “light porn” as you put it going in and out of cycles since I was quite young and even now I’m still in my teens but God brought someone into my life who I could actually open up to and talk to about my struggles and it changed everything. Within a month that sin was ripped out of my life and the temptation to relapse just did not have power over me anymore. If Id’ve had your videos back then I do think it would’ve made a big difference in helping me come to be free of that sin but I’ve only found you now. Another thing is the shame that comes with sexuality now, there is a definite warped vision of what is pure and natural and what is actually shameful which I do think later on will have an effect on my sexual life in marriage of course but I know I have the Holy Spirit and Jesus to guide me through these scars, pointing me in the right direction with someone who will be there to support me. So thank you for making yourself vulnerable to the internet which is very courageous and God bless you!
We should talk about how this topic can effect our romantic relationships and our relationship with God. We should talk about how it impacts us and why God wants us to not interact with these bad habits! One thing I had to learned the hard way is how sex has connected me to a man I am not marrying. It’s been extremely difficult to leave my ex and that’s because of sex!! It’s such a beautiful things but in the context of marriage!!! I tried so hard to wait until marriage! Waited until 23 but put my self right in the middle of temptation! That’s okay! I am still loved! Love the channel even though it’s for men lol!!
8:40...! He nailed it.
I talk to my boys about this alot and the importance of it being with their wife, pornography is a poison that invades the very fabric of our being and taints the soul, heed my warning sex is a wonderful institution designed and created by God, but pornography is a perversion of that institution and their are consequences for consuming it. Great video by the way!
We must call out the Evangelical church for this BS. No more. Stop the damage to young people.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Insightful 😊
As a single Christian woman I always thought sex was a dirty thing and when you got married it was still dirty but you got a free pass. Ever since I listened to Christian psychologist Dr. Julie Slattery I now understand it isn't bad or dirty. You're just supposed to wait until marriage.
it is very importent to discuss this thing since it is one of the biggest things we identify by. and never talking about this doesent help anything either? it just makes people explore this on their own since it is what we find ourselfs in and have needs for, wich could open up a whole can of worms within itself. its like, when there has been put so much shame on something that is supose to be a beautiful thing? and people get a taste of what that is all about? people get no relationship with it, and they rather care about how it feels, and chase it for the dopamine that it gives, rather then having it for values because it bonds people together in a intimate and loving way. i have heard women say they lose headaches because they give their husband sex when they didn feel like having it. it is when we become selfish with this that it becomes more destructive then anything else
To be completely honest, I went to an all boys catholic academy growing up, and it was very good at teaching me that all sexual interactions with women is wrong. They played “pilgrim’s progress” the movie for us at a young age and it scarred me for life. I was there for 15 years. Even though I know the King James Bible in French, Spanish, and English i was deathly afraid of intimacy. I moved to the states when I was 17 and I was somewhat happy to be free of the judgement and freedom of thought here. My faith fell apart and I became agnostic for a few years, and after I left high school started working in aviation. Whenever I’d meet women that I was attracted to, even though I didn’t believe nearly as much as I did before I could not touch her, or be touched because of what i was told and saw when I was younger. I haven’t had sex as of yet, but I found myself going back to Catholicism/Christianity because I already don’t want to have sex anymore, and I think something is wrong with me.
Praying for your healing!
No problem with wanting to wait for sex. If you don't know the person well, it sucks. Maybe getting closer to women in general will help heal some of the terror. That's what I'm working on right now but with men. I was not allowed around men growing up, so to me, y'all are a mystery. Not to mention all the misconceptions that happen when your only experience with women is rumors from other men. Again, that happened to me, but switch genders. Nothing is wrong with you, you just had a natural reaction to an unnatural situation. Now you have the chance to heal and grow. God's got you.
Thank you for this. I like your content though I would like to recommend adding in some scripture. It would be nice
Yea I totally agree, he is making great and very true points but the scripture is Gods word and has power. Showing why it is important to speak about these topics from a biblical perspective will only make a better and bigger impact for this particular issue
I love this! What I've been thinking for awhile now!
I am so glad that you talk about this it has helped me so much
I'm really in a fix. I have my old friends (girls my age) who I could probably discuss sex with but they are not virgins and don't believe in waiting till marriage. I'm not even going to consider talking to my mum who's over sixty😂😂 very different generation( I wish she was in her late 40s🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️). I don't want to talk to people who may convince me over time to get a boyfriend and do it(they've made jokes about this recently) , I also don't want to be judged for this, I'm already feeling judged for other things.
I’m a cradle Catholic and I feel like Catholicism views it very shamefully depending on priests. most priests have never experienced sex drugs or drunkenness so the relatability is not there. I tried explaining an acid trip at my Priest during confession once because I legit had a soul resurrecting experience and it felt so out of pocket because he’s been grounded his whole life. I love talking about this with ones who been in these situations, working a regular job 9-5 job, and not living in a way a priest or monk lives. I definitely respect them, 100% and they say they “give it all up for Jesus” which is amazing utterly amazing, but part of me too feels like we were not operated to be so afraid to live and “give everything up” in this life since Jesus does say “why are you afraid?” I understand we need shepherds to guide us but reliability is hard with them at times. it’s feeling good and very real talking about it with others who are just trying there very best to be with our Lord Jesus in heaven and not stack sin like we used to when we were not faithfully talking to him almost daily.
You must be Born Again! John chapter 3. ❤
I think we need the laity into this
Thank you!
Needed to hear this and even when I tried broaching the convo of mast. It would get awkward as heck.
Thank you for this video!!!
Great video, it definitely makes you think about a lot more when it comes to sex and yes our women have been left out as well. I personally thought that you would have also mentioned hook up culture and promiscuity as well since that is something that most people avoid. But it’s not just that alone. It’s deeper than we’ve thought.
I feel that the “church” is already broadcasting the truth that alternative sexual desires of same sex or an alternate identity is not God given. The world just doesn’t want to listen even though we are giving truth they don’t want to believe it. If they side with the spirit of the world then they can do what they feel instead of resisting sin. Ungodly urges are strong but if we seek God He can Help us.
Love this channel
Yes i agree if we have more open conversations about this it can solve some of the problems we face ❤
The Catholic Church talks about it all the time
Where? I'm Catholic - lead me to these places. I feel like when they do they're mostly idealistic and usually from married people who do not address the pain and challenges of being 'pure' when not married. I have recently found Theology of the Body youtube channel which is the most clear one so far. But sounds like you know others so enlighten us
@@tinaa3459 it’s funny 🤣 theology of the body was what I was thinking of. And even the other channels I was thinking about I believe interviewed the guy from theology of the body, like Pints with Aquinas and Ascension presents
I have a question, how is there such a thing as “soft core porn” how can porn be softcore?
Half naked or naked but just a lie picture
Good for you for not knowing lol
@@DynamicGracer ah okay lol
I think in my opinion sex is a beautiful and expressing sexuality is beautiful If I feel sexual towards someone why not show it, I’m a new Christian and I don’t know a lot I’m new to this but if God created to be sexual why suppress it? It’s what I want to know we are not perfect
"PC version of christianity!"😅
🔥🔥🔥
Read theology of the body (Pope John Paul II)
is it ok not to be interested in sex?
It's better that way.
Jesus taught (in Matthew 19:11-12) that some individuals are fated to remain single and celibate. So yes, God Himself says that it's okay to not be interested in sex.
Yeh it's totally fine. That's the gift of celibacy.
It’s funny that the Bible has an entire book about sex, and yet it has been functionally decanonized.
Do you think this is only an issue for unmarried men and women? It’s not. My mother and father were married for nearly 65 years. My mother was highly dysfunctional regarding sexual intimacy. In that 65 years of time, there would be decades at a time when she would withhold any intimacy from my father. This had a collateral affect on me, that I can only describe as a type of sexual abuse.
I remember my own father, telling me that my mother’s attitude, was that there was simply too much sex in the world, and she was on a one woman mission to stomp as much of it out as she could.
I highly doubt that my story is unique.
Yeah, makes me not even want to work towards that goal of marriage. Why would I want to work that hard for a sexless marriage? I'm told by everyone I have to work hard and be fit and have my entire life figured out already before even getting a chance at marriage. I want the juice to be worth the squeeze. Throw in the fact I'm autistic and wanting to do it the right way and my chances are even more slim of even having the chance for any relationship. I know I should have faith in God that it will all work out but from my experience all he ever does is ruin any chances I get. I know that for his plan for me that might be a good thing but if that plan involves working my butt of for a sexless marriage I would rather just have nothing.
💯
You should get married at 18 thats perfect age
many people aren't even out of high school before 18, so having people in highschool getting married isn't the best idea😂
Because, Fake churches.
Just a Sunday club.
❤
So to the young men like myself who struggle with this sin, especially those of us that have high levels of sexual desire, what do you do with all that energy when you’ve done everything you need to do for the day and you still can’t get rid of this desire? It’s insanely difficult for me not to give in when the urge feels so strong.
Learn breathwork. Learn to channel your energy. It's the most effective way in decreasing the desire. This is coming from someone who would PMO for sometimes 12+ hours in one day. Prayer helps yes, but I have found that controlling my breath is the most effective way to controlling it. Meditation also helps as well. Prayer + meditation is incredibly powerful. Let me know if you got more questions, I'd love to help out.
I try and focus or think of something else. It's very hard at first but after a couple of weeks or the first month it gets easier. The really hard bit which I feel doesn't get talked about is how to stop viewing women through such a lustful lens. I admit it's something I struggle with, even after 5 months without pron or cranking the hog. I think we should all remember that everyone has a soul, has gone through trials and tribulations and suffers just like we do, even if they are attractive. Once you pass this mental block you'll be able to talk to women without being afraid of being called a creep, because you will just be talking to them like any other person would.
@@BornR3STLESS I’m listening. How would I start?
@@potatogirlcultist19 Thinking of something else will eventually lead me back to lustful habits and I can’t be rid of that lens as of yet. See, I’ve also made a hobby of it in more subtle ways- through my artwork to be exact. I’m anonymously paid to draw artwork of women in very lewd clothing, form, anything that the client or I think of really. It’s become harder to let go of because I’m rewarded for it. I’ve kept this business private for 2 years, and gained more clients then I ever thought possible for doing this. To be honest I don’t know what it would take for me to stop all of this.
How do you go about with breath work?
You cannot live for the world and God. That is living a double life
How much of a can of worms do you want to open, especially around women and their sexuality?
Sex is private between only the married couple. It should be private. I’m sorry but I think that’s the reason the world is going the wrong way, because sex has become public. If it were truly private then what happens between a husband and wife wouldn’t be compared. If your spouse was your only outlet then you would seek for greater intimacy and relationship with your spouse.
Do you have veneers? Your teeth are perfect
This is why christians need to start pushing boys to be ready to have a good income job and be married by age 18-24. If we are designed to have sex at around the age of 12, imagine being a virgin /married till 31. I regret having been only taught about the gospel but not the importance of financial stability or what Christian women want in a Christian man. I know for many people, their parents lack sorely on the gospel side, but for me as a pk, it was the opposite.
God designed us as sexual beings? No that's Freud not Christianity! Sexuality Is an image of a unification with God not the other way around! As of the deviance we had very good ways to talk about it that we just threw out! Where do you think succubus and incubus came from? It the way we Christians talk about this stuff and why it matter and how it integrates Into Creation and the Spiritual Battle! I hope you can see how protestantism is directly linked to these kinds of problems. You should infact feel uncomfortable about sexuality BTW and the way you deal with this is by imaging and understanding the deeper Truth that applies fully to the particular that should stay hidden. A secular way to speak about is to understand the patterns and live them and the rest should be automatic.
Were you born with gonads?
Then you are a sexual being. This argument brought to you by looking down your pants and logic. You're welcome.
peak troll.
I wish the Protestant denominations would have the rite of confession like the Catholic Church. It would be a good thing to have another person to be accountable too and not go gossiping about your skeletons in the closet to everybody.
listening to people who pretend they are friends with imaginary nonsense about sex is a rather large mistake since they depend on declaring anything they don't personally like to be "evil".
…. wut are you talking about?
No disrespect, but would mind elaborating a bit more?
@@TitusCastiglione1503 Listening to known liars about sex isn't very smart, dear.
@@sinfullyunleashed5667 Let me ask you a question: would you listen to someone who says certain things are wrong and don't do them if they have no evidence to support their claims? Your answer should clarify things for you.
"No disrespect, but would mind elaborating a bit more?"
@@velkyn1 I don’t understand you. You speak in vague, inane riddles, rather like a sphinx. Are you a sphinx?
Waited for marriage. Worst decision of my life. Thank myself every day that I left the cult of Christianity. It has absolutely no bearing on how reality functions. Christians are so behind in every area of life - sexuality, economics, politics, life, relationships. It's why you'll rarely if ever see christians in the forefront of any sort of groundbreaking movement. There're too busy trying to catch up with society. It wrecked so much of my life, especially purity culture. Sexuality is life force that christians constantly judge themselves for and carry so much shame.
It wasn't until I left that I actually started to heal my addictions, got real therapy, healed my codependancy issues. All caused by BS christian theology, culture and SO much shame. You won't realize how much shame you're actually carrying until you leave the christian bubble.
You are not greater or wiser than the creator God who designed sex for marriage. Whatever experience u had in your marriage has nothing to do with God but something u need his help to heal and restore from.
@@fumsy50 wrong. I used to say the same thing. Thanks for proving my point.
@@fumsy50 bahahahahahaha!!! Thanks for proving my point. I was definitely a fool for believing the Christian garbage. Your god is a joke made by man.
Nope, there is no sciptures that explicitly state you cannot have sex with another person outside of marriage along as they are not in a marriage as well. Prunes, boomers, and perfectionists will debate this but IT (The Bible) does NOT explicitly state it, you can imply whatever you like but IT (The Bible) does NOT say it.
I would compare the Bible to the constitution. Both are very vague, but it’s that way because one is 2,700 years old and another is 236 years old. It’s amazing how these texts have lasted so long and still have meaning in today’s world.
You just can’t accept the truth, that sex before marriage is a sin. It says it vaguely in many verses.
If you do have sex before marriage, I personally feel like it’s not the biggest thing in the world, you do you.
Casual meaningless sex is horrible for our society as a whole. It just makes everything seem very nihilistic, and there’s no true meaning to it.
Im going to try and wait until after marriage.
Love is sacrifice, If you and your partner truly love each other, you’ll make sacrifices for each other.
I was thinking you can always sign a prenup so you can see what your assets are and if anything bad happens you’re protected.
That’s the biggest thing of marriage especially now its tough. You can lose everything in one big swoop
I wish there’s a ceremony now that allows you to have sex with your partner without truly being married
There’s a lot of things you’ve been taught growing up that are wrong. Including masturbation being a sin.
God told me it was a sin 31 times
But it’s pretty clearly outlined in the Bible
Even if the Bible isn’t true you have to admit Masturbation is a sin
@@DynamicGracer Where is it outlined if you think it’s so clear?
If that’s what God told you, then great. He didn’t tell me that.
@@geekyogurtcup Matthew 5:28
@@DynamicGracer How has this got anything to do with masturbation? Yet another time waster with poor reading comprehension.