1 Year After the Military...it's tough

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  • Опубліковано 10 вер 2024
  • I never expected my first year out of the military to be like this. Simple things such as just getting up and out of bed in the morning or the feeling of worthlessness hit me pretty hard.
    It took months for me to feel "normal" again and feel like I belonged.
    It's tough for me to open up like this but I wanted to share this message to help normalize Veterans sharing their stories and struggles to seek help.
    I'm lucky that I had a big support system including my parents and girlfriend Sara...but to anyone who doesn't have this please reach out to someone.
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    Contact: Austen@Night.co

КОМЕНТАРІ • 973

  • @diercire
    @diercire 2 роки тому +392

    Thanks for sharing, sir. It's a process, but the longer we keep at it, each day gets easier. Your videos have helped keep me motivated through some pretty rough days so realize that even during some of your darker days, you were still pulling some of us up.

    • @ironpatriot344
      @ironpatriot344 Рік тому +1

      Bruh the Navy is not the military 😂

    • @pittsfieldbeast
      @pittsfieldbeast Рік тому

      @ironpatriot344
      That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard today, the navy is absolutely a military branch. It’s just as much of a military force as any of the other branches.

    • @cLOSeQuarterscOrp
      @cLOSeQuarterscOrp Рік тому

      I hope it is the same for me as a recent separated service members

    • @ewuradjoadankyi7595
      @ewuradjoadankyi7595 11 місяців тому

      😊😊

    • @ivanabreuluciano
      @ivanabreuluciano 2 місяці тому

      You’re so right here! This is my transition year, I’m hopeful but I am noticing just how much of a difference this change is.

  • @cdm2065
    @cdm2065 2 роки тому +404

    Look into a job in the fire service. The teamwork aspect is there. Daily missions. No day ever the same. It has been a good fit for veterans I know, looking for experiences similar to the military.

    • @tanner7420
      @tanner7420 2 роки тому +53

      I got out of the Navy and felt lost too. I'm now a paid on call firefighter and I just got my EMT license today and moving into Paramedic school. The fire and ems service is a great opportunity to have structure and be on a team again.

    • @lightyagami8377
      @lightyagami8377 2 роки тому +34

      Fireman in the Forest Service is very military-esc oriented. A natural transition

    • @Milo19970
      @Milo19970 2 роки тому +8

      I think he left to pursuit things for himself he has the followers to be able to make a lot of money by himself. I agree with you though how fire fighting is great.

    • @beckymason9138
      @beckymason9138 2 роки тому +2

      My bestfriend is a sheriff now after he retired from the military as a maraine.

    • @Aldinonexilus
      @Aldinonexilus 2 роки тому +10

      As a veteran myself, I wanted to get away from the structure. I feel he's seeking something else.

  • @NotASnowflake
    @NotASnowflake 2 роки тому +425

    Army Vet here, brother our new mission is just life. I had to treat small civilian life's issues as my new mission. Like taking the grandbabies to the park. I'd schedule the day out and my mission. I'd set a goal for each mission. I'm much better at it now being out since 2008. It was very hard for me because I didn't want out of the military. I came home on leave for the birth of my niece and was hit by a drunk driver and ended up in a coma for 39 days, told I was never going to walk again and went through a grave depression. While in the coma I had my first back surgery. Took me nearly 7 months in a wheel chair, then onto a cane and just 10 years ago on Halloween I came off the cane, walk on my own and fianaly ride my Harley. You got this brother. Loved this video because so many of us don't speak about this and more of us need to.

    • @naldosenpai3937
      @naldosenpai3937 Рік тому +12

      really inspiring

    • @NotASnowflake
      @NotASnowflake Рік тому +6

      @@naldosenpai3937 Thank you, please share with any veterans that you know.

    • @speeddemon5214
      @speeddemon5214 Рік тому +3

      This honestly helps a lot, I got out a little bit ago and it's tough. The video and your comment are amazing, the video goes into great detail and your comment helps with what should come throughout the rest of all our lives. Hoah, sister. Thank you for your service

    • @NotASnowflake
      @NotASnowflake Рік тому +2

      @@speeddemon5214 HOAH, thank you for the kind words. God Bless you

    • @Anonymous-cq2dtp
      @Anonymous-cq2dtp Рік тому +1

      great luck on your pursuits in life, and great job so far

  • @redsalmon951
    @redsalmon951 2 роки тому +236

    My son joined the Navy in 2019. I remind him to have a plan when his five years is up and be ready to transition out. I always tell him to go to the gym to destress. Five years will go by quick. Lots to learn and see

    • @chief5981
      @chief5981 2 роки тому +8

      Now that I’m out I tell my buddies that plan to retire at 20 years to stay in for 25, lol

    • @CharlonClarke
      @CharlonClarke 2 роки тому +1

      I bet your son is doing well! I agree 5 years goes by very quickly!

    • @redsalmon951
      @redsalmon951 2 роки тому +8

      @@CharlonClarke He came home for Xmas. Others on his ship chose new years off. Made him all his favorite dishes. He plans on visiting new places when he is on leave. So it will be awhile before he comes back home for the holidays. Couldn't be more happier for him. I'm glad there are no conflicts after the US moved out of the middle east

    • @CharlonClarke
      @CharlonClarke 2 роки тому

      @@redsalmon951 Nice! I know my mom did the same thing for me whenever I visited her there wasn't a day when I didnt feel fat haha If i may ask where is he stationed?

    • @redsalmon951
      @redsalmon951 2 роки тому +2

      @@CharlonClarke Everett. Gunners Mate. He wanted to be MP but missed out by going in later. I tried steering him into the Air Force but he made up his mind along time ago

  • @Shadey473
    @Shadey473 2 роки тому +140

    Many veterans tell me they wish they never got out, this really explains why. Thank you for taking the courage to make this video.

    • @michaelshawusa1
      @michaelshawusa1 10 місяців тому

      The government did their job to make you want to stay in

    • @anotherarmchairhistorian2831
      @anotherarmchairhistorian2831 9 місяців тому +4

      Really wish I never got out. If I could redo it I wouldn't leave. Really wish I just stayed down range.

    • @spidermangy5514
      @spidermangy5514 14 днів тому

      @@anotherarmchairhistorian2831 I took the early out 30 years ago, but I wish I had stayed in another 7 years to retire. So, you're not alone, brother.

  • @AustenAlexander
    @AustenAlexander  2 роки тому +297

    thank you all for the support through comments and reaching out. I realize this is something a lot of us go through and I hope this video can help and show you that it's okay to ask for help. Love you guys and looking forward to sharing more videos in the future

    • @n1c704
      @n1c704 2 роки тому

      I feel your pain. I remember getting out right before 9/11. Plan A and B failed. Plan C was to just focus on school and not worry about getting a job right away. Oddly enough that would’ve been the best plan at the time but hindsight is 20/20.
      Keep pressing on. It gets much better over time.

    • @Mii44444
      @Mii44444 2 роки тому

      You probably have ADHD man, mixed with depression and sense of purpose. Seek some mental health and you'll bounce back brotha 100 percent, you probably need structure, a new goal/life purpose, and get back to working out, it produces dopamine, sereton, and other endorphins chemicals in your brain to feel balanced.

    • @jacegallagher8589
      @jacegallagher8589 2 роки тому

      Law Enforcement has some of the elements we miss in the military.

    • @allywolf9182
      @allywolf9182 2 роки тому +1

      I'm going to sound weird but it's oddly like being in prison. You get out and the entire world has changed along with your place in it. Not only that, you are used to be ordered around all day. Eat now, crap now, move now. You have to learn how to think and motivate yourself. Find meaning in new things and get a pattern and order into your life. They need an "exit camp" like they have a boot camp going in, they need a training to leave too including some psych evaluation so they can get help lined up for you outside if you have issues.

    • @CharlonClarke
      @CharlonClarke 2 роки тому +1

      Navy here, My first year wasn't the best especially when I got to my first command. WheneverI reached out for help and knew that i dont have to go through it by myself is when things got much better!

  • @raysaguerrero3968
    @raysaguerrero3968 2 роки тому +370

    Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your experience. As a veteran myself this felt like you were narrating my first two years transitioning. What has helped me now is therapy and finding a support group of fellow veterans.

    • @shanejur
      @shanejur 2 роки тому +7

      Your right, it took me a couple years. I had a great mistrust for civilians, still kind of do.

    • @chief5981
      @chief5981 2 роки тому +8

      I’m going on 3 years and still not fully adjusted. I’m still trying to find or create a purpose. Keep fighting man, and trust in God

    • @shanejur
      @shanejur 2 роки тому +5

      @@chief5981 It's been over twenty for me Chief and I still don't trust civilians.

    • @simonostinelli493
      @simonostinelli493 Рік тому

      What a bunch of bullshit!!!!! Would you like a violin!!!

    • @A-A-Ron-22
      @A-A-Ron-22 10 місяців тому +2

      I’m just past 4 years, same situation, after 23 years of service 😔

  • @justinechamelle9535
    @justinechamelle9535 2 роки тому +97

    I had a feeling you were struggling. Your videos weren’t the same anymore. But I’m proud of you for being open and honest.

  • @michaelthomas5140
    @michaelthomas5140 2 роки тому +37

    I served 21 years active duty (4.5 years Army, 16.5 years Navy). Taking care of yourself is huge! The gym, mental health appointments, physical therapy, etc. are all very important. Owning your mornings is a huge step in the right direction. Great video!!

  • @mattlantzy5093
    @mattlantzy5093 2 роки тому +103

    Austen. The military was a chapter in your life. A big and important one, absolutely. You may not have known exactly what the next chapter was meant to say at the time, and you know what, that is 100% ok. It is ok to search for who you want to be. Your steps are on point. Your next chapters are the best ones yet, and they aren't written yet. You may not yet know yet exactly what those chapters say, but step by step, day by day, you will see further clarity as to not only who you want to be, but who you're meant to be. Keep writing your story, so many great chapters ahead!

    • @tandave78
      @tandave78 2 роки тому

      Well said Matt,well said.

  • @djricecakes6035
    @djricecakes6035 2 роки тому +126

    Navy 09-16. It was difficult finding the replacement for the Navy. Tough to find a good job with good benefits. Great video, truly inspirational.

    • @homiesenatep
      @homiesenatep 2 роки тому +1

      Marriott has good benefits, it's a hotel job

    • @teeybannister
      @teeybannister Рік тому +1

      Were you able to get a good job??

    • @djricecakes6035
      @djricecakes6035 Рік тому +2

      @@teeybannister i got a decent state job that counts some military years towards retirement

    • @charleswest6372
      @charleswest6372 Рік тому

      I started my own business cleaning windows. Make more $ and no bosses, employees.

  • @mikefulp6818
    @mikefulp6818 5 місяців тому +10

    I retired from the Marine Corps after 20 years, in 2004. I a good job as a test technician. I worked that job for 11 years, being a supervisor for 7 years. When I got laid off , i started my own business. After 4 years I shut it down for various reasons. Now iam working a semi retirement job. Everyone has a different experience, i got out and never looked back. I just kept moving forward . I loved my military career and wouldn't trade it for the world, however it doesn't define me or limit me. It made me stronger 😊

    • @spidermangy5514
      @spidermangy5514 Місяць тому +1

      I like your perspective, Mike. It's been 30 years, and I still miss the army.

    • @Tribuneoftheplebs
      @Tribuneoftheplebs 18 днів тому

      ​@@spidermangy5514 im joining the army in 2 weeks. Any advice from a veteran would be welcome

    • @spidermangy5514
      @spidermangy5514 18 днів тому

      @@Tribuneoftheplebs you'll want a decent ASVAB score, so you might want to study, especially math. Also, do some running, push-ups and sit-ups, especially push-ups. The recruiter offered me MP school, but I asked for accounting and got finance. I loved it! Don't accept a job you won't like or won't enhance your career outside the army. Anything they promise you such as an enlistment bonus, make sure it's in your contract. If not, you won't get it! Ask questions if you don't understand something BEFORE you sign! Good luck!

  • @isaiahphoto
    @isaiahphoto 2 роки тому +178

    I love you austin

  • @pharma37
    @pharma37 2 роки тому +35

    My life started when I quit the military. I always felt the military held me back, and slowed my progression. I honestly wish I never joined.
    I was pleading for a discharge 2 years in. That was 15 years ago, and life has been quite amazing.
    I hope everything becomes brighter for you on your way forward.

    • @Bababui69
      @Bababui69 2 роки тому +10

      Finally someone with sense. I hated every single moment because there was no need for things to have been so difficult. Poor leadership and low pay is definitely a major reason.

    • @pharma37
      @pharma37 2 роки тому +2

      @@Bababui69 I'm glad you're out living your life! When did you get out, and what do you do?

    • @teeybannister
      @teeybannister Рік тому

      What you doing now that you out??

    • @pharma37
      @pharma37 Рік тому +2

      @@teeybannister My wife and I own a pharma company. We do okay.

    • @teeybannister
      @teeybannister Рік тому +1

      @@pharma37 ohh okay congrats!! 🍾

  • @laurennordbeck9359
    @laurennordbeck9359 2 роки тому +31

    I am transitioning out of the military soon and I really needed to hear this so thank you!

    • @herkload
      @herkload 11 місяців тому

      So, how’s the civilian world going?

  • @lifewithadaemon6089
    @lifewithadaemon6089 9 днів тому +1

    I searched for something like this to find understanding, my husband was medically discharged, he's still struggling 7 years later, you talk about self image struggles he gained a lot of weight, AIT gave him a hernia, and he's told by doctors not to lift things over 20 pounds. the said thing is is he didn't have the support of your gf when he got out, it took me coming from Canada, to help him get the paper work to get veterans benefits, because he had no idea where to go or what to do. the struggle is real.. and having to get it through the people around us, his family, our friends that the avolition hits super hard, and its common among vets. thank you for your service

  • @dd214photographer
    @dd214photographer Рік тому +26

    As a Marine vet who got out in 2013, I can relate. But in 2015, I was in invited to a Silkies Hike. This was one of the very first of these hikes. But the humor and commradarie of spending a day with veterans like me, changed my life. If you haven't done one of these hikes yet, I highly suggest going to an Irreverent Warriors Silkies Hike. In fact I will be attending the IWSH San Antonio October 1, in a week. Stay Strong from a Sister Veteran. Semper Fi and ;IGY6

  • @nocapbussin
    @nocapbussin 2 роки тому +203

    The first 6 months to a year after I got out was really hard. The loneliness is the worst.
    But... there is nothing more valuable than the freedom and not dealing with officers and 20+ year Chiefs who are institutionalized and lost their ability to think critically years ago.
    Edit:
    The military takes a piece of our soul whether we realize it or not. It is a job that no one in a post industrial world understands.
    In times past the warrior class of society had a key role and that role was admired and respected. Today, in the post social media, post tinder, post college party scene era, we who are natural warriors have no place in this society.
    I was lucky because my deployments for what my mission was usually lasted under 6 months so I was able to come home and experience the disconnect from American civilians and the rest of the world. I had a bit of a buffer that most servicemen don't. When you are in Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Africa, for prolonged periods of time experiencing the fuckery that goes on and then you come home to people who don't care about you, it throws your brain into a blender. All that meant everything to you means nothing to common masses.
    If you were a football player or an actor or a musical entertainer, you'd be treated like royalty, but in America, nobody cares if you are a veteran. They play the game with all the "Thank you for your service" cliches, but nobody really cares. The Vietnam Vets were the first to experience this shock and it went down hill from there. Society is an apathetic cesspool of hyper narcissism, psychopathy, and hedonism. There's no balance. Everything that once had meaning has become a meme, a sort of ironic joke in itself. And it's not getting better.
    All you can do is hunker down and brace for impact because American society is collapsing under its own plethora of instabilities. You gotta be strong and face it when it finally gets here.

    • @nathanrios624
      @nathanrios624 2 роки тому +5

      Amen, Amen... Truths.

    • @shineymcshine5026
      @shineymcshine5026 2 роки тому +2

      Very True! America now isnt how it was unfortunately. At this point (2022) -this is honestly the year we all should come together & help each other. Like you said America is literally collapsing, its being divided; Vaccinated vs Unvaccinated, Rich vs Poor, Accepted or Unaccepted, etc.

    • @dianegron
      @dianegron 2 роки тому +3

      As a daughter of a Vietnam veteran hero, I salute you and thank you (sincerely) for keeping integrity and honor in you. Keep honoring your country, your uniform, your superiors, and family. Thank you.

    • @Fujiwae
      @Fujiwae 2 роки тому +1

      Mans had a lot of connex talks waiting for COB. Good message here. If I can add anything, it would be not to be fearful of the unknown. We are willing to fly around the world and possibly be shot at because we can see the process in our head. But to get out the military, man that world becomes a labyrinth. So many possibilities, so much freedom. It’s a shock.

    • @jzezatti1
      @jzezatti1 Рік тому +8

      I went to a Monster Jam event here in Houston, TX by myself one time about 4 years ago. And they usually honor the vets before the start of the event. There was a vet sitting next to me with his son, about 3 years old. The guy himself was about 40. I was mid-20s. And I leaned over and told him “thank you for your service.” He simply looked at me and then just completely ignored me.
      I didn’t know how to respond to that. I didn’t do or say anything after he did that. It felt awkward.
      But years later now, myself contemplating joining the military, I think I finally realize why he did that. And it’s because he felt exactly what you just described about the rest of society. And in my own vanity or naivety, thought I could feel good about thanking him. It’s very sad to explain this openly and honestly, but I felt this comment of yours deeply. And still think about that guy and his son a lot.

  • @originalredrangerfan7805
    @originalredrangerfan7805 2 роки тому +80

    Definitely can relate to this. I was medically discharged 18 months ago after serving for 9 years. I’m still struggling. But finding new hobbies, and taking it one day at a time helps.

    • @teeybannister
      @teeybannister Рік тому

      Hopefully you doing good now after being medically discharged. Did you wanted to stay in?

  • @RobClaypool
    @RobClaypool 2 роки тому +16

    Same thing happened to me in '94 when I got out after 7 years....18 months later I got back in...best decision I ever made. I'm out again now but this time I knew what to expect and am thriving! It's funny the structure of the military life is oddly comforting despite the hardships, but you don't realize it until you get out....Great video Austen, thanks for sharing!

  • @brandon480
    @brandon480 Рік тому +22

    Just got out in august. Glad I found this cause others relate. It’s hard explaining to family or anyone that has never been in

    • @speeddemon5214
      @speeddemon5214 Рік тому +4

      It really is hard brother, if you need someone to talk to I can give my number. All of us need help sometimes

  • @manglepop
    @manglepop 2 роки тому +25

    My terminal leave starts in February. I'm excited and also nervous to leave the military. I will have my Masters degree in May and already been applying to law enforcement jobs. Thanks for sharing your experience. Keep up the great work.

    • @njpme
      @njpme 2 роки тому +2

      I'll be transitioning out too about that same time. I want to get out, but I know I will miss the people. I can already feel it

    • @Sara-md8nu
      @Sara-md8nu 2 роки тому +2

      Congrats to you on earning your Masters Degree 🎓 and good luck to you in your future endeavors! Thank you for your service 🇺🇸

  • @christiandelossantos318
    @christiandelossantos318 2 роки тому +43

    Wow, completely said everything I've feeling/thinking for the past year and a half. Returning to civilian life is a long hard journey dude. I didn't think it was normal honestly, watched this video and now I guess it really is. Thank you for the great video, opened my mindset a bit to work on changing for the better.

    • @shonas6992
      @shonas6992 2 роки тому +2

      I hope things do workout for you, and I'm sure it will sooner or later. Just hang on there and reach out to someone to talk about it, it'll probably make you feel better.

  • @FINALLYOUTAFTER7
    @FINALLYOUTAFTER7 10 місяців тому +8

    I got out two months ago. It’s really starting to suck. I can’t believe I’m not alone. This explains everything. Mental health, why my relationships failing, goals, life, everything.

  • @clairefinley910
    @clairefinley910 2 роки тому +30

    Sounds like depression and honestly it makes sense given the "loss" of your team and your sense of belonging to the military. Depression is not a chronic and permanent condition. Its so important you share the realities of being human and how you were able to help yourself move through it. Thank you!!!

    • @evanharris6985
      @evanharris6985 Рік тому

      I can see how not being part of a team and no sense of belonging anymore can depress someone.

  • @numberiforgot
    @numberiforgot 2 роки тому +23

    This is exactly why I took community college courses while I was in. Little by little I got a compsci degree and the day I got out was also my graduation day.

    • @teeybannister
      @teeybannister Рік тому

      What you doing now?? A teacher or what

  • @theregularjoepodcast6458
    @theregularjoepodcast6458 2 роки тому +10

    Brought me to tears man. You are not alone by any means. I go through and went through the exact same things down to a T. Proud of you.

  • @jayemoore550
    @jayemoore550 11 місяців тому +5

    14yrs Navy recently separated only been out a month and feel myself spiraling already. I feel confused and lost, unmotivated and honestly scared as shit. You really spoke to my soul bruh and this was something I needed to hear... APPRECIATE IT BRUH!!

  • @jeffortiz8136
    @jeffortiz8136 Рік тому +7

    as i’m watching i’m crying because i’ve been down since 2013. finally i’m hearing another veteran talking about these topics.

  • @Henselt1
    @Henselt1 2 роки тому +36

    A way I deal with time management is from a friend of mine but has been very beneficial to myself, it's to be your own officer and soldier. Have two modes, officer and soldier. You make a plan for tomorrow as an officer. Then when you wake up you adopt the soldier mindset and complete your day plan to the very end. You don't let any emotions sway you off your plan. Keeps me disciplined. On a long run beforehand I would quit the second it started to hurt, but knowing I was in a soldier frame of mind I went to the very end and did whatever.
    After I finish roughly 5-6 hours of solid work and 1-2 hours at the gym. I'm able to relax and be free to do whatever I want.
    Hope it helps

    • @horgecondaliza6644
      @horgecondaliza6644 2 роки тому

      Happy to hear, you found what works for you. Glad to hear your well.

    • @sharischoll9411
      @sharischoll9411 2 роки тому +3

      Very wise advice. Everything you need is inside you, now apply what you learnt in the military and apply it to your next mission. Difficult to lose your like minded team.
      Understand how he feels as felt exact same when my husband died. Spent 6 months caring for him at home as he physically disappeared in front of my eyes from the cancer and hepatitis C. Went from a strong in shape man to a skeleton. When I listen to a woman complain about her husband, which was always some puddly irrelevant imperfection, deep down I wanted to reach across the table and choke some sense into her blonde brain. I would have given anything to just have five minutes morewith the man I loved inspite of or because off his many imperfections. God gave her a gift and she spits in God's face.
      When all is said and done, when we look back, we realize struggle is, or can be a gift. Depends how we use it. God's grace will help, but only if we humble ourselves and ask.

    • @jamericbernal1011
      @jamericbernal1011 2 роки тому

      @@sharischoll9411 you’re amazing. God bless you and I hope He brings you more joy as each day passes 🥺❤️

  • @HALFRlCAN12
    @HALFRlCAN12 2 роки тому +6

    Didn’t know I needed to see this until now, I’ve been dealing with the same exact thing and really have thought I was alone. The dark days are heavy, but I’m trying to keep fighting. Thank you for sharing this

  • @MeganOliveri
    @MeganOliveri 2 роки тому +54

    My husband is getting out soon from the Marines on medical after 10 years, so this was really great to watch. I’m nervous for him to find his place, so I appreciate the honesty from you. Hoping it’ll give me some perspective on how to be a good partner for him. 💪🏻

    • @ssgtkellogg79
      @ssgtkellogg79 2 роки тому +9

      I was medical retired back in 2019 from the Air Force after 21yrs of Service and still trying to find my way in the civilian world.

    • @markmiller4595
      @markmiller4595 2 роки тому +6

      Finding something with structure and purpose will be important for your husband. Realize that as men, we seek a sense of purpose and the military gives us that. Austen didn't have a new "structure or purpose" to move to when he got out of the military where I did so my "purpose" just became my next job. I know realize how blessed I was to have that. Help direct your husband to something that will provide him with an identity and purpose and realize that it's a struggle for everyone. The military is a mission and once that mission is over, we need to find our next mission. Good luck to you and your family.

    • @Calcific9
      @Calcific9 2 роки тому

      You don’t need to “do” anything per se.
      Remember he’s not a project and to keep his stress separate from your stress.
      Most often women do the most damage by thinking theyre supposed to transform into many different roles for their man, it’s unnecessary.

    • @user-fd4il6pi9i
      @user-fd4il6pi9i 2 роки тому +2

      @@Calcific9 Bro you need some help?

    • @Calcific9
      @Calcific9 2 роки тому

      @@user-fd4il6pi9i huh?

  • @Green-Andy
    @Green-Andy Рік тому +10

    I've been out since 2010 and I know actually what you're going through. And I'm still going through with it. Going through job to job and I feel like I'm just walking in this world aimlessly.

  • @thewatcher4552
    @thewatcher4552 2 роки тому +6

    Now imagine that after 4 tours...It's rough transitioning but thank God for fellow veterans, family, and faith 🙏🏾 🙌🏾 it helps.

  • @kfreedom470
    @kfreedom470 2 роки тому +9

    Got out the air force right before the lockdowns started. I was excited and ready for my academic journey. But it wasn't what I expected. Everyday I was just sitting down virtually learning and I hated it. I was waking up unmotivated and I realized how everything changed so quickly. I had to take a break from college as this was mentality exhausting. This events have been affecting us and we gotta stay mentally strong for real.

  • @micaelagarcia7097
    @micaelagarcia7097 2 роки тому +6

    Very informative video for people that are struggling. Way to face your struggles and sharing it out for others

  • @CCM1199
    @CCM1199 2 роки тому +9

    Trust me brother, Its been 7 years and I miss the military life. I still try to grasp civilian life but its really hard on me

  • @luenanda4432
    @luenanda4432 10 місяців тому +3

    I’ve never been in the military but have severe depression and it feels exactly like this. I’ve always admired veterans and the military. You guys are insanely tough. Seeing someone as tough as you say this really hit a spot. Thank you for being vulnerable.
    Whoever reads this please take lots of care, you’re the strongest mfer ever.

  • @junebolivar
    @junebolivar 6 місяців тому +3

    Crying watching this. Separated two years ago and still really really struggling.

  • @MissilemanIII
    @MissilemanIII Рік тому +36

    Air Force veteran,1983-1993.
    I got caught up in the big reduction in force.
    After ten years working on the Minuteman III missile and getting dumped on the side of the road basically. It was very difficult. It took me years to try to adjust. Once I got out my back went out. I had 19 spinal surgeries. Not one of my ex team ever called me. The friends started walking away. My wife is the only reason I'm still here. 29 years later it's still hard. I want to just thank my beautiful wife for guiding me through this.

    • @doctorcorgi3134
      @doctorcorgi3134 Рік тому +1

      Hey man keep going.

    • @MsRotorwings
      @MsRotorwings Рік тому +1

      19 spinal surgeries? Yikes.

    • @donald8354
      @donald8354 9 місяців тому

      I hope everything is going good for you best wishes.

  • @carlariggs525
    @carlariggs525 Рік тому +1

    I did too. it took many years to adjust. wishing you the best and a great journey ahead

  • @whatever9042
    @whatever9042 2 роки тому +5

    It’s a normal feeling. I got out 2004 and have moved on and accomplished other things, but the military was still my great adventure.

  • @ARCHIEzzle
    @ARCHIEzzle 2 роки тому +1

    Needed this today

  • @janewogahn5601
    @janewogahn5601 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for sharing Austin. My dad is a Marine and growing up I watched him struggle with this immensely, it ultimately drove our entire family apart. We are good now but that was 20 years of hard work to have a relationship with him now.

  • @Clintoniumer
    @Clintoniumer 2 роки тому +4

    I separated from the Air Force about 6 years ago. Spent 4 in working aircraft maintenance. The friendships you create are truly something special and span a lifetime. I find myself at least once a day, still, missing my time in the military and awesome things I used to accomplish with my unit. Being a part of something bigger and more important than just yourself. I miss that sense of purpose. Sometimes find myself just working and by the time I know it the months and now years have just flown by. I'm still finding my way now mentally but at least I have stability and structure with my job. I'm thankful to have served

  • @pabloescobar7802
    @pabloescobar7802 2 роки тому +5

    After my 8 years in the Army I had the same feelings.. Depression.. PTSD ..Anxiety .. it’s real my man .. Merry Christmas 🎄 My Friend..

  • @ErickaBernie
    @ErickaBernie 2 роки тому +29

    This is an amazing video…sometimes I struggle with other people in the world having problems, because I start to think, “well I’ve had to work 0500-2100 for almost three years” etc…I catch myself thinking their problems are so small when in reality it’s big to them…Im proud and happy at where you’re at now Brother!

    • @rileyfreeman7122
      @rileyfreeman7122 2 роки тому

      16 hours a day? You must be incredibly inefficient at work.

    • @February_
      @February_ 2 роки тому

      @@rileyfreeman7122 Lmao my drill instructors worked that

    • @CharlonClarke
      @CharlonClarke 2 роки тому

      those hours?! I know exactly who you're referring to lol

  • @kenishalane4605
    @kenishalane4605 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you for making this. I am concluding 20 years and I haven't been able to put my finger on the "dark cloud" of confusion. They don't cover these thoughts in TAPS too much which is sad and it's supposed to be the greatest day to break with military life but it also marks a huge change mentally. I wish you all the best!

  • @angelicagarcia768
    @angelicagarcia768 Рік тому +3

    This is everything I’ve been feeling and finally found someone to put it into words ✊🏼

  • @KiloKaze
    @KiloKaze 2 роки тому +8

    It’s my 5 month since I’ve left the Army and I’m going through this same struggle. Still can’t find my identity and I’ve given people my anger side. I’m so bitter these days and I have the problem where I don’t want to hear about people’s problems. But at least I can see I have a problem and I’m trying my best to fit in and stop being angry about everything. This video is everything to me

  • @dakotaambrosia2658
    @dakotaambrosia2658 9 місяців тому +1

    That’s honestly outstanding. I’m 1 week out after 7 years and everything you said describes how I’ve felt. Everything your girlfriend said described me the 2 months leading up to getting out. I know people always say it but it’s always good to know all of this is normal. Thank you.

  • @Jacob-qv2yh
    @Jacob-qv2yh Рік тому +5

    I’ve been out for just over 2 months and I’m a complete mess right now. Angry outbursts directed toward my family and heavy alcohol and substance abuse. I reached out to the VA and am the process of getting help. To anyone who is approaching their last day in the military and thinks that they will finally be free and saved when they become a civilian again, please understand that you may spiral down into an awful and confusing phase of your life where you feel empty and hopeless, along with losing all of your motivation that you currently possess. Don’t wait to get help or prepare for your transition

  • @heather5689
    @heather5689 2 роки тому +5

    I got out of the Navy last year too after 5 years. I resonate with everything you said. Thank you for this!!!

  • @christamoore7461
    @christamoore7461 3 місяці тому

    There is a grieving process that no one talks about after you leave. Military service is a way of life that no one can understand unless you walk the walk. I emphasize with your struggle and the emotional toll it takes on you after years of structure and rigidity. Kudos to you for having the courage to speak out to other Vets and letting us know that we're not alone! Together we stand Hooah! Continued prayers are being sent to you. One step at a time. 🙏🏾

  • @senecablount2230
    @senecablount2230 2 роки тому +4

    Been out 12 years now. Did not discover my purpose or self until about three years after I was out of the military. Still a work in progress trying to find my way but it does get better brother.

  • @ronsmock1701
    @ronsmock1701 11 місяців тому +1

    Thanks brother, I felt this way after getting out after 7 years in the Army. Thanks for the post

  • @asexpistol
    @asexpistol 2 роки тому +7

    Just got out a few months ago brother, I feel you 100%..it’s rough but do able. Keep your head up. I actually affiliated with the reserves because of the overwhelming feeling.

  • @Dailesty
    @Dailesty Рік тому +1

    Man this video made me cry. Just newly out of the service and been going through it rough. Pushing forward but I needed this video.

  • @guzvier
    @guzvier 2 роки тому +5

    Thank you, I was also in the Navy and got out approx. 15 years ago. Everything you said makes 100% sense. I'm glad you have a good woman who was able to help you out and together identify the issues. Having an anchor and taking the helm have been my struggles. This video makes me want to reflect on the last 20 years of my life.

  • @proudasiangirl576
    @proudasiangirl576 Місяць тому

    Just found your channel. Army veteran here....I hope things are much better for you and your girlfriend now. I understand the transition completely. It's a total stark difference. Please take good care of yourself. I am rallying and cheering on for you. I wished that I can give you a hug. Seek professional help if needed. The VA offers mental health care and it has personally helped me.

  • @Narimatsu
    @Narimatsu 2 роки тому +5

    Austin: I can totally relate... I have been out 20 years due to a medical retirement...I still at times struggle with missing the military as I was in the Air Force. Thank you for sharing your experiences. Please know that you are not alone. Thank you for all you interesting videos about challenges etc

  • @GrimrDirge
    @GrimrDirge 2 роки тому +2

    We all go through a radical revaluation, and it takes time to "unwind" mentally. If you navigate it successfully, you can draw from that military mindset without being rigid or overbearing.

  • @nathanielhale5726
    @nathanielhale5726 9 місяців тому +3

    I joined the Army National Guard in 2013 and spent 7 years in also, I worked full time for most of my time as a UH-60 Mechanic, one deployment to Afghanistan in 2018/19. Its been a difficult 3 years, I've found myself again but I've still been yearning for the structure and comradery, I went to see a recruiter today to go back to my old unit. I'm very torn, 50/50 on weather I should go back or finally move on. I agree with you when you said the 2 best decisions you've made was joining and getting out.

  • @DRo-ql8er
    @DRo-ql8er Рік тому +2

    Currently going through the first month after separation by far this has been the most challenging time mentally for me. I feel so lost and my motivation to do things has been zero going into the negatives and i always turn to alcohol to take my mind away from reality. Staying in house all day not wanting to do even the bare necessities like grocery shopping. It makes me feel better knowing i'm not alone going through this process. I am slowly gaining my confidence back and my motivation is growing to go to school and do something with myself. Thank you for this video, really lifted my hopes.

    • @lonestarst8
      @lonestarst8 Рік тому

      One of the easiest ways to view schooling as a veteran, is to view it within the scope of a side job.
      It's another monthly revenue stream that requires almost no time to fulfill. I'm a full time online masters student with a regionally accredited university, and I'm pursuing a masters in occupational safety and health that requires roughly 5-10 hours of work a week.
      I live in East Texas and my recent monthly "BAH" payment was $1,057.65 for less than 20 hours worth of effort during the month of December or 2.6% of my monthly time.
      Post 9/11 gi bill pays up to 36 months of education, that is 36 months of basically guaranteed income.
      If you seek to get disability and are awarded 10% or greater, your eligible to apply for Veteran Readiness and Employment (Chapter 31) benefits. If you combine the two smartly, you can get a total of up to 81 months of education. That is 81 months of a constant revenue stream with minimal effort.
      I'm just about 3 classes away from completing my master's degree, and from start to finish it will have taken me 4.7 years to complete my masters. It would have been done a lot sooner had I not did it one degree at a time and took a semester off.
      all who put their trust in YAHweh will be heard if they cry out to him -1 Chronicles 5:20
      All are told, YAHweh is rich unto all that call upon him -Romans 10:12
      whosoever shall call upon the name of YAHweh shall be saved -Romans 10:13

  • @cronos7653
    @cronos7653 2 роки тому +7

    You’ll get through it bro

  • @Barapus
    @Barapus 2 роки тому +1

    Every day is a fight. But you HAVE to keep fighting.

  • @enzarapatano6791
    @enzarapatano6791 2 роки тому +6

    This is so appreciated Austen. What you experienced was similar to my having to deal with the loss of my husband in 4/20 from Covid-19. You felt lost and didn't know what to do with yourself, I get it. With time it does get better. Merry Christmas to you and Sara. Much love. Enza

  • @w.d.2154
    @w.d.2154 Рік тому +2

    oh god, this is so relatable. I'm going through this right now. just the feeling of purposelessness and lack of meaning. I'm really trying to understand what i love doing and trying to figure out how to apply that constructively and profitably. it's just been a long time since i've thought about what i really like and love. its like im rediscovering myself. it's been nearly a year now, but I'm finally starting to get things going. Thank you austin for this video! You put into words this experience its really hard to describe.

  • @price5559
    @price5559 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you Sarah for being there as well for both on and off the court! You guys got this, stay focused, keep the drive, and maintain the love for each other!!!!!

  • @JTFSIX
    @JTFSIX 2 роки тому +2

    USMC 90-06....Holy Sh** what a transition.....Single my entire career...Thank you and Mad respect for your courage to articulate to everyone that needs guidance and orientation.

  • @Cincy96
    @Cincy96 2 роки тому +6

    I've been out of the Marines since 2019 and I still struggle today with finding a sense of belonging.

  • @dianegron
    @dianegron 2 роки тому +3

    What you describe is exactly what everyone goes through whenever a stage in life ends and another begins. Either we drift away or embrace the new stage in life we are facing. Either we keep looking back for direction or take the lead role on whatever is coming. Uncertainty is the best drill Sargent; it throws at you anything unexpected and expect the best performance from you.

  • @almohvn33
    @almohvn33 Рік тому +2

    Thanks for sharing.. very true. I still remember getting out of Army AD 1980... I am old fart! I did go officer and reserves.. and.. that kept me going for the next 25 years. I could not have done it without the reserves.

  • @EinJobles
    @EinJobles Рік тому +21

    I left the military a month ago and moved to a new place recently. All I ever wanted was to get away and hoping I'll be happy going back into civilian life again. After dreading the military lifestyle, I still feared that I'll be lonely and lost.
    So far it has been extremely difficult. The loneliness especially has been hitting me real hard. I miss all my friends so much. But I also don't want to bother anyone about my loneliness problem. I just feel completely stuck and lost. I keep telling myself I should have never moved to a new place. I thought it would be a good thing. Although I'm still trying my hardest not to feel this way. It just sucks and I think it's ridiculous to feel this way.

    • @doctorcorgi3134
      @doctorcorgi3134 Рік тому +1

      I hope things get better for you.

    • @alexdiazdelavega8249
      @alexdiazdelavega8249 9 місяців тому

      You got this bro, I moved to a different place as well just me and my wife we served together. It’s tough but don’t forget you got those friends that you can call.

  • @MakeItUp19
    @MakeItUp19 Рік тому +1

    I’m out in one week but I stopped working for 2 months now since my command allowed me to find civilian work. Before I got civilian work and I stood at home waiting for offers, I felt lost and worthless through the transition. I couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t find a reason. My husband is deployed and so I felt lost in an empty home. Hated myself and felt so undeserving of life.
    Although I felt relieved to put that NAVY stress behind me, I realized how easy it was to follow a routine that was written out and never changed in the military.
    For those of you transitioning out, lean on those who love you and accomplish one thing a day, even if it’s getting out of bed to shower-you did something to better yourself. You’re not alone and so many Veterans go through the same thing you have.

  • @Cleveland216Kid
    @Cleveland216Kid 2 роки тому +6

    Man, I've been out six years and I have to say at times it's still tough to fully adjust to civilian life. Like you said, the first thing building an anchor is the most crucial piece to the puzzle. Talking to people is still a tough piece for me though.

  • @christian5568
    @christian5568 2 роки тому +1

    WE are not alone brothers and sisters.

  • @christiantrujillo9945
    @christiantrujillo9945 2 роки тому +3

    Takes a lot of courage to make a video like this. Keep it up man, praying that your channel and messaging continues to grow.

  • @PDXLANDBARON
    @PDXLANDBARON 9 місяців тому +1

    I was 25th Infantry, my last 6 months I was a lifeguard on Waikiki Beach Fort Derussy. There was zero transition to civilian life. I had a blast on my tour on Oahu and topped off by lifeguard duty on the worlds most popular beach in the world. Never take your life so seriously, life is really just a series of smart decisions.

  • @theblackrain9373
    @theblackrain9373 2 роки тому +3

    Its OK, you served and now you dont have to worry about ''mission first'', I can relate.

  • @totoorbegoso3485
    @totoorbegoso3485 Рік тому +2

    Ive been in the service for 18 years…in 2 years ill be leaving the military…i am scared as hell. 10 years ago i was dreaming of it…now its getting closer every day…and i hate this feeling..what am i going to do after…you nailed it that it feels like your part of a great team, now your about to leave that team…its weird

  • @Braddec
    @Braddec 2 роки тому +3

    Hey Austin, You essentially had your brain rewired in the service (necessary I would argue, if unfortunate), it's going to take a while to reroute those connections. Seems like you're on the right path. Keep with it and don't be afraid to let those close to you help you every so often.

    • @charissa6648
      @charissa6648 2 роки тому

      This is very true and such an accurate statement.

  • @ThankYou-bn6bp
    @ThankYou-bn6bp 9 місяців тому +1

    Hi, you don’t remember me, but I’ll always remember you. Years ago when I thought I lost my Sailor, it was your videos that really comforted me because it gave me an idea of his life in the Navy. Miraculously, he came back. Not one day has passed without me being in unbelievable gratitude for his comeback. For what it’s worth, what you do bring so much comfort to others. It may not be as exciting as a military mission, but it’s God’s work too. Bless you and your family. Bless all of our Sailors.

  • @daniella8400
    @daniella8400 2 роки тому +22

    I joined at a older age, I think this will make my transition much easier. Any new changes are tough. Best of luck to you all in future endeavors.

    • @Alex-xh9kv
      @Alex-xh9kv 2 роки тому

      I joined just shy of 28. My family really helped when I was discharged. I also developed a hobby that led to my next career.

  • @DLBIA14
    @DLBIA14 2 роки тому +2

    This really resonated with me as an aid worker. The notion of being 'mission first', having a higher purpose to your work that is consuming, the emotional coldness it leaves you with for your personal life, the disconnect you feel to the 'real world', the need to give yourself an anchor. I rarely feel seen in this way, so thank you for speaking about this topic with honesty.

  • @kmack998
    @kmack998 Рік тому +4

    As a Marine Vet once a Marine always a Marine , is one of our sayings ,but its hard to do when the Marines was all i know, so getting out and Transitioning was hard when i had no mission or goals everyday, I’m glad i came across this Video because I thought I was the only one thinking this way , but like you said we gotta Adapt and Overcome thats what make us Warriors. Semper Fi 🇺🇸 Also if anyone want to go to college and also play college football Comment below i have a college that recruits military veterans and it will help you bring back that structure

  • @angelas.3645
    @angelas.3645 8 місяців тому +1

    For you taking accountability and being able to push through is tough and very honorable. We don’t know each other obviously, but I am proud of your accomplishment. Keep marchin’, I know many who have been through Marines and Army, as well as Coast guard. So, I the change and people who sometimes aren’t the same afterwards.

  • @noahlamb6520
    @noahlamb6520 2 роки тому +3

    Thank you for your service!

  • @chronicles109
    @chronicles109 2 роки тому +1

    I don't think this is for military vets alone but to us in everyday life we needed to hear this cause a lot of us are struggling as we speak and to be able to be let's call it a solid relationship for many years and to now be out of it is hard as one has invested time and emotions into everything surrounding that relationship. It takes gut to admit when we are struggling and it takes gut to face the next phase but we have life and it is the greatest gift God has given us. We just need to write the next chapter and make it a good one.

  • @Subdood04
    @Subdood04 Рік тому +3

    Spent 20 years in The Navy on 4 different boats. The most terrifying experience of my life. I had no idea what the heck I could do other than operate reactors on Subs. I even tried to get into the AL NG about a year out. Can totally relate to your experience. It’s much harder than many realize.

  • @neilhall1760
    @neilhall1760 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you for posting. I EAS'd in 2014 and even now, in 2022, I'm still struggling in finding my identity again. Just listening to you was so helpful.

  • @BrandNerd23
    @BrandNerd23 2 роки тому +5

    Thanks for the sharing mate! All of us are going through things in our life. Stay strong and positive. We will get through everything! 💪🏻

  • @FinalselfBasil
    @FinalselfBasil 10 місяців тому +1

    Damn man that was heart felt ❤️🙏

  • @Petee
    @Petee 2 роки тому +3

    I'm still the same way today. Dropped out of the college multiple times. Joined 08 to 16 and as reservist first then getting activated for 2 years and back into the reserves. It wasn't the same going back into the reserves. Just missing it all. Went back to school and graduated with honors then became a federal employee. But I still feel lost to this day. You're not alone brotha.

  • @astrogeek1230
    @astrogeek1230 Рік тому +2

    I got out in Sept of 2016. I still struggle with 90% of what you're dealing with. It's a daily grind. Keep fighting!

  • @tonybrown9378
    @tonybrown9378 Рік тому +3

    Bro if you didn’t just describe EXACTLY what’s going on in my head right now! This video probably just saved my marriage.

  • @nathanv8535
    @nathanv8535 Рік тому +1

    I'm going through this right now. I'm leaving the military in about 3 months. I'm already feeling my sense of purpose waning as I get closer to ETS.

  • @IndyRockStar
    @IndyRockStar 2 роки тому +6

    We've all been there, bother. I still have a difficult time relating to people's "everyday problems" 10 years later. I particularly have hard time understanding people's reaction to death. I don't get emotional, and I can be callous. Vulnerability for a soldier is difficult thing that I'm still not sure it will ever go away. Hang in there, life does get easier, but our military bearing never totally leaves you.

    • @anonx111
      @anonx111 2 роки тому

      good to know the military dehumanized your ability to morn death by murdering innocent brown people!

    • @CR1T1KaL714
      @CR1T1KaL714 2 роки тому +1

      @@anonx111 🖕

  • @bellkopley1714
    @bellkopley1714 3 місяці тому

    Thank you for this testimony. Dealing with a retired coast guard I’m experiencing same thing.

  • @slayerpunch3660
    @slayerpunch3660 2 роки тому +4

    Hope this reaches every veteran who needs to see this.