I faded way back in mid 80's I carried the indoctrination up until Covid! The fear in my head was terrible! I found your channel and started research am free and this show was so informative! Thank You Lloyd for this interview!
I can totally relate. The people who left years ago had no resources available to them. To have the confirmation that Lloyd provides is a help to many who still have their doubts deep in their subconscious and in many cases have carried around fear for most of their lives. I know I have PTSD and a lack of trust. I recently realized that I had chronic trauma for those early years of my life. It was my normal. Almost like not understanding the effects of alcholism or drug addictionon on the family members.
2017-4-15 got baptized but 2020-12-28 - 🤗 this is not truths but wt religion or company 🤣 Still I am searching for the truth Deligenly seek him Where ? Bible and this universe and through his creation 🌹☃️🍉
More cult awareness and knowledge of the devastating effects on victims of spiritual abuse is needed in the professional community of psychologists, psychotherapists, therapists and social workers.
This was very helpful to me. Thank you for your being in a service to others. This something that I am very I interested in. Yes, we need more mental health professionals versed on this. Thanks for confirming it for me.
JWs always shame you into feeling that if you don't do personal study, meeting attendance, field ministry, and keeping one clean from the "world", that you are disappointing Jehovah and are sinning. That feeling of displeasing God is very powerful. In reality though, it is deceptive because the shame you feel is really for letting down the Organization and GB. They just decieve you in thinking that your failures are towards God. If people don't think that is cultish and deceptive and wrong, then we really as a society are far away from curing ourselves of these organizations.
So true that you just can't do enough. And the organization is training them to be so dang judgmental and verbal about it that they really don't see it. You call them out on it and they will walk back on it claiming that the organization says everyone do accordingly to their capability. They try to clean it up just for an instant and then it is back to what is the normal pressure from the 8 tired men who don't even witness to the public. Zoom meetings now eliminates a lot of that trained pressure. You just know that devotees are missing the hall where it easier to watch you, sneer and make you feel like crap b/c you are not keeping up. The zoom warnings to keep up with studies and ministry just isn't as effective with guilting, it it lacks in controlling your life allowing people more time to wake up.
I wish this woman could be my therapist! I really am enjoying this! She has a great understanding and seems very easy to talk to. I love when she talks about where trauma is in the brain.
Her descriptions of cult are well known. I want to know what her resolve is in re debriefing of the mind and restoring the thinking to a normal and realistic level. In other words removing all the rubbish that JWs brainwash people with from their thinking.
I had a therapist tell me that JWs are not a cult because it's "voluntary". Shocked at his dismissiveness I asked what about those born in? He said if they choose to stay after they become adults then yes they are willing participants! I felt retraumatized after seeing him.
I’m so sorry to hear you went through that. I truly hope you were able to find the support you so desperately need after being part of this group. I had a similar experience as I was explaining the trauma of leaving the JWs she said “so...? you’re out now, what does it matter?” and when I was explaining the lingering effects of leaving and the lack of awareness that JWs are a cult she said “so what if I told you I didn’t think they were a cult?”. I said “I’d say you don’t know what you are talking about”. Ugh. It hurts to hear this experience wasn’t the exception :( I also need to add though that a domestic violence counselor was the first person to introduce me to the term “spiritual abuse”. I have hope things are changing.
@@adrianabakic8985 So many people who have only a passing familiarity with the Witnesses just know them as the smiling kindly folks who knock on doors and maybe see them as quaint or perhaps a little eccentric but basically innocuous or benign. If they only knew the level of indoctrination and control that is going on behind the veneer.
@@Nathan-jq1uw exactly!! Yes! It has taken me decades to realize what “my problem” was and now that I identified I was raised in a cult and that was extended trauma I can find a therapist that understands that or is willing to look into(Bonnie Zeimans book cracking the cult code, for therapists is helpful to give them as a tool) also highly related to being in a long term abusive relationship. Also as Lloyd and the Dr. here bring up it is a newly recognized field, religious trauma or coming out of a cult. Hopefully to gain attention as we go on.
They have no idea do they? I’m happy to have been able to help several traumatised witnesses through their agonising transitions to freedom. Having travelled that road myself I truly understand. Therapists who have no inside knowledge or experience of Jehovah’s Witnesses, as the comment below says, see them as harmless, pleasant, well dressed people who pose no threat at all. Those of us who have had our lives almost destroyed by them and who have mercifully survived know different. I hope you are finding some real help and are enjoying finding your authentic self. Lots of love
Thank you first time commenter it was very interesting. I was born JW and after leaving/fading and being soft shunned I didn’t look back 20yrs ago. Now for past 12 months I am exploring the impact
I really appreciate these interviews,Lloyd. It really hammers home the fact that we are not alone in the human experience. Evil comes in many forms and I appreciate any attempt to call it out.
Cults are very insidious, they break down your critical thinking and ability to think rationally over time as she says. Most people don't realize they have joined a cult when they get into one. So it's not right to victim blame or insult someone's intelligence when they got sucked into one.
Wow what an amazing video!! Witnesses are definitely distrustful of non witnesses and of each other too. Everyone is constantly evaluating and judging each other’s spirituality and they’re primed and ready to drop you like a hot potato if you’re not measuring up to the mark. It is very painful and confusing to be soft shunned. And can happen even when you’ve done nothing wrong according to the jw cult standards, but simply because you’ve just not done enough right. Not enough meetings, witnessing, participation, reaching out etc. The love and support is completely conditional. This was our experience after pioneering for a couple of years and then moving congregation and having our first child. I just couldn’t keep up anymore. I had very little family support anyway and was vulnerable. I started suffering with PND 6 months in, then chronic insomnia and health issues, then my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he subsequently passed away after fighting for 15 months. We were very judged and soft shunned the entire time. But you just blame yourself because you’re not doing enough. If you’re not doing well it’s kind of viewed as your own fault and you view it that way too. And most horrifying is the idea that maybe Jehovah is unhappy with you, although you know he’s not as you’re doing your best so how could he be? But it still very confusing. So it’s just fear and shame and isolation. Such a sad and unhealthy culture! My husband and I had doubts rising anyway and have luckily fully woken up now. Funny that high cortisol as a pain response is mentioned, as one of my health issues was extremely high cortisol and adrenal exhaustion. I’m just glad I’m out now and I can give my children something better and not expose them to a life of fear, shame and repression. We’re just lucky that we finally decided to have children, as we were thinking of not partly because “the end is so close”. Im 39 and have the second one on the way.. just on the nick of time. Many we know are continuing childless, probably around half of our friends in this area of Australia.
@@gailcullinanfor me, I am not a JW or ever was, but I have known some and seen how their religion negatively impacts them. I also have an interest in high control groups in general, and how they manage to gain/keep followers despite how obvious the problems are from the outside.
I find the JWs to be frightening even though or perhaps because I came out of a fundamentalist Baptist cult. I mean I was brain washed too and basically shunned a few different times, the first time when we moved to a different Baptist church, but the JWs make it an art form.
I wish all Jehovah's Witnesses would listen to this. I am here nodding my head to so many of the points that hit the nail on the head with this organisation.
So that is why sometimes people run back to their cult. To reduce cortisol levels by going back to a place that you have had a hug to reduce the cortisol levels and raise the endorphins.
“But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.” ~ George Orwell’s 1984
RE: Cortisol. I've always thought that the WT hamster wheel kept cortisol levels high. I don't have a medical background but have an interest in medicine. So many of the JWs I know especially elders & pioneers suffer from hypertension, excessive weight around the med section, fluid retention, diabetes etc. I also had issues with it & when I woke up my health improved ten fold.
@@stefanlistevyios7195 I was seriously depressed when i started to study with JWs. I isolated myself from people- by nature I am shy anyway. The study with JWs made me feel better and more alive- the difference like night and day. The ones that studied with me were good people. I believe that contact probably did reduce cortisol levels. I started to look forward to that hour or so each week. Learning TTATT was a shock but at the same time, within about 5 or 6 videos I felt love for apostates- people who were hated and we were warned to stay away from and not listen.
I was so angry at my parents for choosing the jw cult. I always use to wish they’d have selected any other religion just not the jws. Looking back, now I realise they joined the cult right around the time my mum had a miscarriage. And believes she’ll see her in paradise😔
Interesting you say that . I had the same experience with my parents. They started studying shortly after they lost their first child at 2 days old. They probably will never think of leaving even if it makes sense to because they think he will be resurrected in the " new world " and they feel like being a JW is the ticket to see him..really sad actually.
@@GYFTID_OFFICIAL totally understand. Imagine them waking up and finding out it’s all a lie. Spending all their time believing a fairytale. Iv tried waking my parents up. They are in their 60s now . Very sad situation
@@Fabijola555xjwc it was hard for me after spending 40+ years in it myself. I was raised in it. My parents are in their 70s and l am being shunned by them 😔
Dr Stein what she says is so real to me…approx 38:00 in talking about that it’s like an abusive relationship, and your just trying to escape fear and find a place to feel safe!!
I love these interviews. Dr. Stein's explanation of how trauma memory is stored has me on a new quest to learn more about this topic. While I'm late to view this interview, the timing couldn't be more perfect. Thank you so much!
I am really grateful Dr. Stein granted you an interview and shared her wealth of knowledge and wisdom! It was helpful both as someone who was born into and escaped a cult, and also as someone recovering from a dissociative disorder. I have a better understanding of how and why my brain works the way it does. I really appreciate you hosting trauma-informed experts, Lloyd. Your work has and continues to help my healing process. This is why I am a Patron. Your work has tremendous value to those of us who want to heal. Thank you for all that you do. ♥️
Delightful! I love Doctor Alex, she's so feisty. Part 2 soon please Lloyd. And maybe a 3 too. This conversation had me reflecting on some of the advice you've given to Speakpipe callers. It feels to me that your advice has been spot on. Seems that Reluctant Apostate is also the Accidental Therapist.
Lloyd, I thoroughly enjoyed this interview, and will be getting her book! I found that I really related to this, and learned even more! Excellent interview and discussion! One of my favorites so far! ❤️ Great work! Thank you!
My husband and I joined a cult in 1978 and raised our 3 children. We did not understand anything about cults back then. We thought we were joining a place of like-minded people who loved God. Unfortunately, cults prey on broken-hearted people and we stayed for about 19 years. My children are now in their 40s and 50s and still recovering.
I watch some of these videos out of curiosity I was raised Southern Baptist and some of the religious trauma stuff applies but not to your levels. I am a survivor of childhood trauma and emotional neglect I also am on the Autism Spectrum. The end of your video gave me a place to start putting my life back together I'm 42 and not really living just surviving the other thing I wanted to mention is the stigma doesn't just apply to ex-cult members but anyone brave enough to admit they are struggling with a mental health issues or abuse it must be your fault is all anyone thinks. Stay strong and keep telling your story maybe someday society will catch up but if not be proud of your accomplishments and not ashamed though I know that is inwardly hard to do struggling but trying to get better at them moment all on my own because I'm struggling to get back in therapy and none of my friends are willing to help. I have no support except my elderly dog he always cuddles when I need it.
Hi, Shannon, I hope you can take your own excellent advice and be strong and proud of your accomplishments. What you've shared is articulate, succint and caring. You have a lot to offer and I wish you all the best.
Hey Lloyd , I grew up as a JW in South Africa. A lot of the people coming "into the truth" there are rural people especially those who only have basic education or less. There are many communities who don't have access to the few clicks it might take to find out other perspectives. I'd like to see some interviews or content regarding those targeted by "Unassigned territory", Special Pioneers and Missionaries
Thank you, Lloyd. Another lovely contribution. I thought of you when an old JW woman called my landline, prosletyizing to me. She picked the wrong person. Poor woman.
No wonder the cult 'tells' members to not associate with unbelieving family members! No wonder our children shun us if we leave! Imagine throwing loving mommies, daddies & grannies away! For what? ...a punishing evil cult!
‘Exploiting emotional vulnerability’. Spot on! My mother still proudly speaks of the day in the 1960’s when she was feeling so upset because my father had lost his business and they had no money. Guess who knocked on the door?! I escaped, not entirely unscathed in 1974 and she’s still trying to rescue me before it’s too late. Such an insightful interview, thank you.
Yes Lloyd I know exactly what you mean… I didn’t envision me in a future being happy in any sort of real or individual way. It was the future itself, paradise and truth prevailing was the endgame, very static idea of future..
I'm currently binging like you discussed in the video and I'm not sure if I'm processing everything "the best way" but this has helped more than anything in the past did. I was excommunicated in the early 2000's so I never took this journey of having rational rebuttal to what I could never give argument to against the deaf ears of the Organization. Through their constant intimidation I had to fight back in a mess of anger. Now I can calmly approach these thoughts with the pain that is still very real but exercise hope and catharsis. Thank you Lloyd! I try to comment on key videos and moments helping me the most as I watch everything week by week. Hopefully we can connect in the near future as I have an extensive story to tell of my youth where I was groomed for "JW" greatness.
1:36:40 Lloyd, such a good point about coming out of the forest. It feels like I'm surrounded by people who have never been in and who can't really understand how significant the experience was - or else the few bewildered people who also made it out and are similarly broken. Either way it can be very lonely out in the real world.
Really enjoyed this interview. I am always learning more even after being out for almost two years now. One of her videos on UA-cam was among the first videos I watched very early on in my waking up journey.
This is an amazing interview; there are so many brilliant parts of the discussion. 51:51 is fascinating, especially given Dr Stein's expertise and what she has brought to the table. Also the cult-wars, which was talked about in a recent Indoctrination podcast; for those interested should look up the Wikipedia page for Family Survival Trust. I would agree with Dr Stein, based on my brief interactions with both groups and based on how I perceive how they consider these manipulative groups. Dr Stein gave a talk entitled "Prevention before recruitment - Where do we begin?" which is on UA-cam which I highly recommend. Dr Stein is someone I have learnt a lot from. Thank you Dr Stein and thank you Lloyd for hosting this interview. More like this please!
Wow. I have the interest that I do in this stuff because I feel like so much of it is like the experience of being adopted, and helps us adopted people understand our psychology. Well my mind is blown. I am sharing this with my adopted person groups as it is SO Relevant.
Thank you Lloyd, I've been following you for a while now, but this intervew blow my mind, helping me to understanding so much now. It's one of the best and most heplfull video. I would love to share it with all my JW friends and familly.
Thank youe so much for this interview. I feel inspired to take my university studies into more of a clinical psychology direction after listening to all that was said. Excellent interview!
Working through some shame myself from some of the things I use to believe. It is difficult and I have some real regrets. Now I ask myself, "How could I have believed that and misled others?" "And the questions I ask myself bring guilt." Guilt because I didn't have critical thinking as a young man to see that what was being taught was not really truth. I could not see beyond what was being taught yet my questions as a young man was met with opposition. Thank you!
I can lay out exactly why I thought it was "the truth" and why I handed over control. It's like five or six things that are pillars that nobody else has. That's why it's spiritual abuse once you hand over your heart and dedication. The fault is with the organization. The people inside have various ways of coping with the lifestyle and not all try to make it a torturous experience. I kept thinking of the lines, even at the time, "you have my heart so don't hurt me" - Dreams, The Cranberries. That song came out when I was immersing myself.
Most of this happened to me. Waking up to what was really going on, with the help of a therapist, it is really hard to believe that I bought into the original fiction that drew me into the cult in the first place. I became isolated and dissociated too. They made it sound like I’d have all this career advancement which was the hook but submission to the leader was what they were really after
About Lloyd's theory near the end, that religion makes it harder for us to accept that we can be "brainwashed:" I recommend taking a look at psychologist Daniel Kahneman's book Thinking Fast and Slow. It is all about how most of our thinking is associative and easily influenced, and how we fool ourselves into thinking that we are more rational than we really are. He won a nobel prize in economics for his work on behavior theory. It really helped me understand how we are influenced into doing and believing things that are not to our benefit.
Amazing! And very true about ExJW support groups. I was in a few. It often feels like you're back with the witnesses. But a cult support group is far better because you realise how similar cults are. It feels more like you're in the real world.
Yes! And stuck in that loop, wanting the opiate hormone for relief of the cortisol from the parent, leaders but instead only getting a drop here and there but stuck overloaded with cortisol stuck fearful and panicked and disassociate
Wow! So true governments want you in the cult mind set also for their own reasons… so important to teach our own children and educate our own selves and loved ones to think critically and carefully
this is so helpful to me. I spent 23 years in a cult and have been out 16 months. I need a lot of help understanding it all, and Stein's descriptions are very real to me. Also: I cancel Trump supporters. He is a serial predator and the worse sort of gaslighter. I agree that he is a cult leader.
@@janedoe3648 if you sexually abuse women -- yes, I will keep you out of my house. and if you enable those who do -- yes, I will cancel you from my family. by bye. It's not disagreement -- it's protection of people that I love.
This is such a great detail and breakdown explaining cult recovery. I definitely notice many of the issues and characteristics in my clients (especially talking about informed consent and deceptiveness!) when we help them deconstruct their faith and help them recover from Religious Trauma Syndrome.
Hi Lloyd , I listen to your videos because it is a safe place and helps me . Am I getting on with my life ...absolutely...wirh a vengeance .. using alot of my jw upbringing to make a positive life
I don't think it could happen to me - not because of my amazing critical thinking skills, but because I'm not that social. Love bombing would freak me out, I never feel fully part of any group I'm in/belong to (and I'm fine with that), and after a while I always need to spend time alone in my own head so I'll turn down any and all social engagements for some time.
You're actually a perfect candidate for a cult like JWs then! The social part of a cult is just a "decoration", very superficial. What they really want are loners like yourself who they can control "remotely" without any outside input or influence from friends, family and other social groups. Sure, not everyone is susceptible to a cult, but it's like a virus, everyone is a carrier and given the right "conditions", it could turn into a "full blown nasty illness" and hijack your thought process, emotions, etc. I'm sure you're OK, but maybe, just maybe, you just never know, so be careful!
Cults don’t “make” us - they exploit faults and needs that are already there. Compare this conversation with narcissistic family dynamics and codependency.
I woke up in February and the first thing I did was apply to University to study Religion. I'm hoping to combine it with psychology studies. Dr Stein is definitely someone I look up to in this area! Thank you for this lovely interview
Yest, temperament. Also for the born-in what did you love early on, gardening, yes or no. Loud music or quiet music, yes or no. Painting, writing at school? Early interests can translate into adult gifts! The sciences, literature, archeology?
on the subject of “deception” - I have never felt that I or anyone else was trying to deceive anyone or prey on their vulnerabilities or traumas as a JW - I sincerely felt I was trying to help people with their problems through learning about the Bible. I have a genuine sense of spirituality- always loved God and Jesus - ultimately I found the longer I was there, the more I felt damaged and stunted spiritually - that is my experience but I know that others have had a completely different experience and many sincerely wish to help others also. I have no idea where I am now. shunned by my community and family, alienated from my young daughter, trying to care for my son with no where to live and no help and being hounded by elders who wish to “help me” by going over my traumas to see which ones were my fault and how I can repent for them. all that aside - I still think they believe they are sincerely doing their best to serve God
so many points to take to therapy... i became a pro in cutting people off and away from my life after being disfellowshiped... i'm constantly reliving the disfellowshiping over and over... always waiting for the night in wich the'll turn on me like the congregation did, so i'll go and "disfellowship" people for reasons that my head can't even comprehend... Oh my... where am i?
Being aware of these _"personality problems"_ is a huge first step towards solving them. Some of the *biggest battles we will ever fight* are the ones *we fight in our heads with ourselves.* I think you'll figure it out, because reasoning your way out of the cult is clear evidence of your intellect.
@@moodyrick8503 thank you so much! ❤ it's been 15 years since i've left. i tried my best to just forget and move on but, since 2016 i had a major breakdown dor a lot of "superficial" issues that cost me a personality disorder diagnosis, 1 attempt of unaliving myself, 2 years of agoraphobia and only now, after 8 years of therapy, my mind is letting those memories to come to surface so i can start to work on the real thing. sorry if it's tmi... it helps me greatly to process feelings by writing. once again, thank you! ❤ EDIT: tmi.
I live in relative isolation with basically no friends and family. Therapy is out of the question. Therapy is you tube and listening to people's experiences Expanded research into the authenticity of the bible and archeological information. Feela little bit of peace. But the what if question is big. It was/is really devastating to realize I had/have no where to go and directions is basically nonexistent.
Don't lost hope in yourself and your life. I also live in a pretty isolated situation but I do live with one person in my family. Try if you can to reach out (just like you're doing now!) and connect with other people that may share your experiences or interests.. It really makes all the difference. You can do it online and you can do what makes you comfortable (maybe step out of your comfort zone just a TINY bit each time). Just make sure you at least continue to try because isolation can be comforting but if we don't break it at times, we can let ourselves fall down a deep, dark hole. There is a light at the end of the disappointment you feel so just keep trying to search for happiness anywhere you can. Eventually you will realize that you are finding happiness and you aren't having to exert as much effort as you did before... it will just be natural.
similar situation. a thing that is real and true will be real and true under scrutiny. things that are theories or hard to prove as fact, should be questioned until proven true or false. the society, ccjw, watchtower, wbts, .should welcome research. or they should be called the false
Yes to agree to disagree on subjects yet take in information. To be able to critically think is very important. The JW's spoon feed the new recruits.Thank you both for this revealing informational video.
One of my favorite interviews by far, such an intelligent look into the cult mind. Please have her back!
I faded way back in mid 80's I carried the indoctrination up until Covid! The fear in my head was terrible! I found your channel and started research am free and this show was so informative! Thank You Lloyd for this interview!
I'm so glad to know, I'm not alone and have confirmation that there is a lack of mental health professionals equipped to deal with this.
I can totally relate. The people who left years ago had no resources available to them. To have the confirmation that Lloyd provides is a help to many who still have their doubts deep in their subconscious and in many cases have carried around fear for most of their lives. I know I have PTSD and a lack of trust. I recently realized that I had chronic trauma for those early years of my life. It was my normal. Almost like not understanding the effects of alcholism or drug addictionon on the family members.
2017-4-15 got baptized but 2020-12-28 - 🤗 this is not truths but wt religion or company 🤣
Still I am searching for the truth
Deligenly seek him
Where ? Bible and this universe and through his creation 🌹☃️🍉
More cult awareness and knowledge of the devastating effects on victims of spiritual abuse is needed in the professional community of psychologists, psychotherapists, therapists and social workers.
@NinaTheExplorer, I agree with you!!
Strongly agreed, and I think it’s far too normalized within society
This was very helpful to me. Thank you for your being in a service to others. This something that I am very I interested in. Yes, we need more mental health professionals versed on this. Thanks for confirming it for me.
Cult religion
Deception
Lies
False doctrines
Full of them 🤣
Keep watching
Keep Waring
Keep open mind
Keep searching
All of us - humen being 🤗
Have you heard of Blair wellness group? I’m looking for anyone with info on this group.
JWs always shame you into feeling that if you don't do personal study, meeting attendance, field ministry, and keeping one clean from the "world", that you are disappointing Jehovah and are sinning. That feeling of displeasing God is very powerful. In reality though, it is deceptive because the shame you feel is really for letting down the Organization and GB. They just decieve you in thinking that your failures are towards God. If people don't think that is cultish and deceptive and wrong, then we really as a society are far away from curing ourselves of these organizations.
So true that you just can't do enough. And the organization is training them to be so dang judgmental and verbal about it that they really don't see it. You call them out on it and they will walk back on it claiming that the organization says everyone do accordingly to their capability. They try to clean it up just for an instant and then it is back to what is the normal pressure from the 8 tired men who don't even witness to the public. Zoom meetings now eliminates a lot of that trained pressure. You just know that devotees are missing the hall where it easier to watch you, sneer and make you feel like crap b/c you are not keeping up. The zoom warnings to keep up with studies and ministry just isn't as effective with guilting, it it lacks in controlling your life allowing people more time to wake up.
@@sammyytube5999 mmmm!! Why are the meetings still being held on zoom, Isn’t Jehovahs spirit in the KH according to the “GB”….where’s his spirit now?
I wish this woman could be my therapist! I really am enjoying this! She has a great understanding and seems very easy to talk to. I love when she talks about where trauma is in the brain.
This woman is fantastic. Listen carefully.
Her descriptions of cult are well known. I want to know what her resolve is in re debriefing of the mind and restoring the thinking to a normal and realistic level. In other words removing all the rubbish that JWs brainwash people with from their thinking.
I had a therapist tell me that JWs are not a cult because it's "voluntary". Shocked at his dismissiveness I asked what about those born in? He said if they choose to stay after they become adults then yes they are willing participants! I felt retraumatized after seeing him.
I hope you switched therapists.😬
I’m so sorry to hear you went through that. I truly hope you were able to find the support you so desperately need after being part of this group. I had a similar experience as I was explaining the trauma of leaving the JWs she said “so...? you’re out now, what does it matter?” and when I was explaining the lingering effects of leaving and the lack of awareness that JWs are a cult she said “so what if I told you I didn’t think they were a cult?”. I said “I’d say you don’t know what you are talking about”. Ugh. It hurts to hear this experience wasn’t the exception :( I also need to add though that a domestic violence counselor was the first person to introduce me to the term “spiritual abuse”. I have hope things are changing.
@@adrianabakic8985 So many people who have only a passing familiarity with the Witnesses just know them as the smiling kindly folks who knock on doors and maybe see them as quaint or perhaps a little eccentric but basically innocuous or benign. If they only knew the level of indoctrination and control that is going on behind the veneer.
@@Nathan-jq1uw exactly!!
Yes! It has taken me decades to realize what “my problem” was and now that I identified I was raised in a cult and that was extended trauma I can find a therapist that understands that or is willing to look into(Bonnie Zeimans book cracking the cult code, for therapists is helpful to give them as a tool) also highly related to being in a long term abusive relationship. Also as Lloyd and the Dr. here bring up it is a newly recognized field, religious trauma or coming out of a cult. Hopefully to gain attention as we go on.
They have no idea do they? I’m happy to have been able to help several traumatised witnesses through their agonising transitions to freedom. Having travelled that road myself I truly understand. Therapists who have no inside knowledge or experience of Jehovah’s Witnesses, as the comment below says, see them as harmless, pleasant, well dressed people who pose no threat at all. Those of us who have had our lives almost destroyed by them and who have
mercifully survived know different. I hope you are finding some real help and are enjoying finding your authentic self. Lots of love
I can feel my mourning phase winding down, find myself making plans for the future.
Thank you first time commenter it was very interesting. I was born JW and after leaving/fading and being soft shunned I didn’t look back 20yrs ago. Now for past 12 months I am exploring the impact
I really appreciate these interviews,Lloyd. It really hammers home the fact that we are not alone in the human experience. Evil comes in many forms and I appreciate any attempt to call it out.
Cults are very insidious, they break down your critical thinking and ability to think rationally over time as she says. Most people don't realize they have joined a cult when they get into one. So it's not right to victim blame or insult someone's intelligence when they got sucked into one.
@theveganvillainess2404 Very true intelligence is no real safe guard against being taken in by a cult.
Thank you Lloyd and Dr. Stein. As one indoctrinated in my 60s, this discussion is helpful and meaningful in recovering from questioning myself.👍💪❤
Lloyd, design a T-shirt saying: “critical thinking enabled”
and I will buy it 😅
Wow what an amazing video!!
Witnesses are definitely distrustful of non witnesses and of each other too. Everyone is constantly evaluating and judging each other’s spirituality and they’re primed and ready to drop you like a hot potato if you’re not measuring up to the mark. It is very painful and confusing to be soft shunned. And can happen even when you’ve done nothing wrong according to the jw cult standards, but simply because you’ve just not done enough right. Not enough meetings, witnessing, participation, reaching out etc. The love and support is completely conditional. This was our experience after pioneering for a couple of years and then moving congregation and having our first child. I just couldn’t keep up anymore. I had very little family support anyway and was vulnerable. I started suffering with PND 6 months in, then chronic insomnia and health issues, then my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and he subsequently passed away after fighting for 15 months. We were very judged and soft shunned the entire time. But you just blame yourself because you’re not doing enough. If you’re not doing well it’s kind of viewed as your own fault and you view it that way too. And most horrifying is the idea that maybe Jehovah is unhappy with you, although you know he’s not as you’re doing your best so how could he be? But it still very confusing. So it’s just fear and shame and isolation. Such a sad and unhealthy culture! My husband and I had doubts rising anyway and have luckily fully woken up now. Funny that high cortisol as a pain response is mentioned, as one of my health issues was extremely high cortisol and adrenal exhaustion. I’m just glad I’m out now and I can give my children something better and not expose them to a life of fear, shame and repression. We’re just lucky that we finally decided to have children, as we were thinking of not partly because “the end is so close”. Im 39 and have the second one on the way.. just on the nick of time. Many we know are continuing childless, probably around half of our friends in this area of Australia.
I've never been a Jehova's Witness, but I find your videos interesting. Thanks :)
Nor have I. Is your interest herein because JWs have caused some kind of destruction in your life?
@@gailcullinan Not in the slightest.
@@gailcullinanfor me, I am not a JW or ever was, but I have known some and seen how their religion negatively impacts them. I also have an interest in high control groups in general, and how they manage to gain/keep followers despite how obvious the problems are from the outside.
I find the JWs to be frightening even though or perhaps because I came out of a fundamentalist Baptist cult. I mean I was brain washed too and basically shunned a few different times, the first time when we moved to a different Baptist church, but the JWs make it an art form.
I was but I never will be again 🤣
I cannot overstate how much I enjoyed this conversation. Can't wait for part 2! ;)
Love her! What an incredible woman.
I wish all Jehovah's Witnesses would listen to this. I am here nodding my head to so many of the points that hit the nail on the head with this organisation.
I like her, I can relate to her on my personality. I was a thinker and somehow my thinking was disabled too...
So that is why sometimes people run back to their cult. To reduce cortisol levels by going back to a place that you have had a hug to reduce the cortisol levels and raise the endorphins.
“But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.” ~ George Orwell’s 1984
Enlightening doesn't seem big enough a word to explain what that thought was for me. So thankful for these videos.
RE: Cortisol. I've always thought that the WT hamster wheel kept cortisol levels high. I don't have a medical background but have an interest in medicine. So many of the JWs I know especially elders & pioneers suffer from hypertension, excessive weight around the med section, fluid retention, diabetes etc. I also had issues with it & when I woke up my health improved ten fold.
@@stefanlistevyios7195 I was seriously depressed when i started to study with JWs. I isolated myself from people- by nature I am shy anyway. The study with JWs made me feel better and more alive- the difference like night and day. The ones that studied with me were good people. I believe that contact probably did reduce cortisol levels. I started to look forward to that hour or so each week. Learning TTATT was a shock but at the same time, within about 5 or 6 videos I felt love for apostates- people who were hated and we were warned to stay away from and not listen.
I was so angry at my parents for choosing the jw cult. I always use to wish they’d have selected any other religion just not the jws. Looking back, now I realise they joined the cult right around the time my mum had a miscarriage. And believes she’ll see her in paradise😔
Interesting you say that . I had the same experience with my parents. They started studying shortly after they lost their first child at 2 days old. They probably will never think of leaving even if it makes sense to because they think he will be resurrected in the " new world " and they feel like being a JW is the ticket to see him..really sad actually.
@@GYFTID_OFFICIAL totally understand. Imagine them waking up and finding out it’s all a lie. Spending all their time believing a fairytale. Iv tried waking my parents up. They are in their 60s now . Very sad situation
@Detroit Legend they really are
@@Fabijola555xjwc it was hard for me after spending 40+ years in it myself. I was raised in it. My parents are in their 70s and l am being shunned by them 😔
We are in many ways deceived
Dr Stein what she says is so real to me…approx 38:00 in talking about that it’s like an abusive relationship, and your just trying to escape fear and find a place to feel safe!!
I love these interviews. Dr. Stein's explanation of how trauma memory is stored has me on a new quest to learn more about this topic. While I'm late to view this interview, the timing couldn't be more perfect. Thank you so much!
I am really grateful Dr. Stein granted you an interview and shared her wealth of knowledge and wisdom! It was helpful both as someone who was born into and escaped a cult, and also as someone recovering from a dissociative disorder. I have a better understanding of how and why my brain works the way it does. I really appreciate you hosting trauma-informed experts, Lloyd. Your work has and continues to help my healing process. This is why I am a Patron. Your work has tremendous value to those of us who want to heal. Thank you for all that you do. ♥️
Thanks @Wildchildgirly that's very sweet of you to say! Thanks for your amazing support as a patron! 😊
Outstanding conversation.
Thank you, Dr. Stein. That was wonderful.
Delightful! I love Doctor Alex, she's so feisty. Part 2 soon please Lloyd. And maybe a 3 too.
This conversation had me reflecting on some of the advice you've given to Speakpipe callers. It feels to me that your advice has been spot on. Seems that Reluctant Apostate is also the Accidental Therapist.
Lloyd, I thoroughly enjoyed this interview, and will be getting her book! I found that I really related to this, and learned even more! Excellent interview and discussion! One of my favorites so far! ❤️ Great work! Thank you!
My husband and I joined a cult in 1978 and raised our 3 children. We did not understand anything about cults back then. We thought we were joining a place of like-minded people who loved God. Unfortunately, cults prey on broken-hearted people and we stayed for about 19 years. My children are now in their 40s and 50s and still recovering.
As an academic (in a different speciality), I rate this video as superb. Thank you for recording it and sharing it with us.
I watch some of these videos out of curiosity I was raised Southern Baptist and some of the religious trauma stuff applies but not to your levels. I am a survivor of childhood trauma and emotional neglect I also am on the Autism Spectrum. The end of your video gave me a place to start putting my life back together I'm 42 and not really living just surviving the other thing I wanted to mention is the stigma doesn't just apply to ex-cult members but anyone brave enough to admit they are struggling with a mental health issues or abuse it must be your fault is all anyone thinks. Stay strong and keep telling your story maybe someday society will catch up but if not be proud of your accomplishments and not ashamed though I know that is inwardly hard to do struggling but trying to get better at them moment all on my own because I'm struggling to get back in therapy and none of my friends are willing to help. I have no support except my elderly dog he always cuddles when I need it.
Hi, Shannon, I hope you can take your own excellent advice and be strong and proud of your accomplishments. What you've shared is articulate, succint and caring. You have a lot to offer and I wish you all the best.
Hey Lloyd , I grew up as a JW in South Africa. A lot of the people coming "into the truth" there are rural people especially those who only have basic education or less. There are many communities who don't have access to the few clicks it might take to find out other perspectives. I'd like to see some interviews or content regarding those targeted by "Unassigned territory", Special Pioneers and Missionaries
That would be a very interesting topic
This is some important content
What do you find most important?
@@gailcullinan Openly discussing similar trauma has been very helpful to me as a born-in-ex-JW myself
@Alex's Modern Life Why?
Wow, she is fantastic! Great interview and thanks so much for all your work. I’m still gonna bindge watch :-)
OMG this was huge! One of the best interviews, if not The Best Lloyd has ever had on his channel!
Thank you, Lloyd.
Another lovely contribution.
I thought of you when an old JW woman called my landline, prosletyizing to me. She picked the wrong person.
Poor woman.
No wonder the cult 'tells' members to not associate with unbelieving
family members!
No wonder our children shun us if we leave! Imagine throwing loving
mommies, daddies & grannies away! For what? ...a punishing evil cult!
‘Exploiting emotional vulnerability’. Spot on! My mother still proudly speaks of the day in the 1960’s when she was feeling so upset because my father had lost his business and they had no money. Guess who knocked on the door?! I escaped, not entirely unscathed in 1974 and she’s still trying to rescue me before it’s too late. Such an insightful interview, thank you.
Yes Lloyd I know exactly what you mean…
I didn’t envision me in a future being happy in any sort of real or individual way. It was the future itself, paradise and truth prevailing was the endgame, very static idea of future..
What a great conversation! You both said so many things that I needed to hear! Keep up the great work Lloyd!
I'm currently binging like you discussed in the video and I'm not sure if I'm processing everything "the best way" but this has helped more than anything in the past did. I was excommunicated in the early 2000's so I never took this journey of having rational rebuttal to what I could never give argument to against the deaf ears of the Organization. Through their constant intimidation I had to fight back in a mess of anger. Now I can calmly approach these thoughts with the pain that is still very real but exercise hope and catharsis. Thank you Lloyd! I try to comment on key videos and moments helping me the most as I watch everything week by week. Hopefully we can connect in the near future as I have an extensive story to tell of my youth where I was groomed for "JW" greatness.
A wonderful therapy session to sit in on
1:36:40 Lloyd, such a good point about coming out of the forest. It feels like I'm surrounded by people who have never been in and who can't really understand how significant the experience was - or else the few bewildered people who also made it out and are similarly broken. Either way it can be very lonely out in the real world.
So true
And reviewing your own experience with your own eyes this time…
So good!
This was amazing! Thank you Lloyd.
Excellent. Great summation at the end. Go Dr. Stein!
Great video Lloyd, really enjoyed it.
I was thinking the other day that you two should get together! This is amazing, Dr Stein has been a great support in my cult 'recovery'
This is a great video. Dr Stein explains complex issues in a way I can understand.
Really enjoyed this interview. I am always learning more even after being out for almost two years now. One of her videos on UA-cam was among the first videos I watched very early on in my waking up journey.
"And a long story short, i got my masters then my PhD"
What a flex.
This is an amazing interview; there are so many brilliant parts of the discussion. 51:51 is fascinating, especially given Dr Stein's expertise and what she has brought to the table. Also the cult-wars, which was talked about in a recent Indoctrination podcast; for those interested should look up the Wikipedia page for Family Survival Trust. I would agree with Dr Stein, based on my brief interactions with both groups and based on how I perceive how they consider these manipulative groups. Dr Stein gave a talk entitled "Prevention before recruitment - Where do we begin?" which is on UA-cam which I highly recommend. Dr Stein is someone I have learnt a lot from. Thank you Dr Stein and thank you Lloyd for hosting this interview. More like this please!
This is a fascinating conversation! Thank you!
This has helped me so much, thank you for having your guest, she’s amazing!!
Wow. I have the interest that I do in this stuff because I feel like so much of it is like the experience of being adopted, and helps us adopted people understand our psychology. Well my mind is blown. I am sharing this with my adopted person groups as it is SO Relevant.
Thank you Lloyd, I've been following you for a while now, but this intervew blow my mind, helping me to understanding so much now. It's one of the best and most heplfull video. I would love to share it with all my JW friends and familly.
My this was such an informative interview!!!! Thank you Lloyd and Dr. Stein!!!!!
This interview is excellent! Thank you!
Thank youe so much for this interview. I feel inspired to take my university studies into more of a clinical psychology direction after listening to all that was said. Excellent interview!
Working through some shame myself from some of the things I use to believe. It is difficult and I have some real regrets. Now I ask myself, "How could I have believed that and misled others?" "And the questions I ask myself bring guilt." Guilt because I didn't have critical thinking as a young man to see that what was being taught was not really truth. I could not see beyond what was being taught yet my questions as a young man was met with opposition. Thank you!
I can lay out exactly why I thought it was "the truth" and why I handed over control. It's like five or six things that are pillars that nobody else has. That's why it's spiritual abuse once you hand over your heart and dedication. The fault is with the organization. The people inside have various ways of coping with the lifestyle and not all try to make it a torturous experience. I kept thinking of the lines, even at the time, "you have my heart so don't hurt me" - Dreams, The Cranberries. That song came out when I was immersing myself.
I’m so glad there is a spotlight in political cults. They are often so under represented. Thank you x
Most of this happened to me. Waking up to what was really going on, with the help of a therapist, it is really hard to believe that I bought into the original fiction that drew me into the cult in the first place. I became isolated and dissociated too. They made it sound like I’d have all this career advancement which was the hook but submission to the leader was what they were really after
Excellent. I enjoy this interview very much. Thank you both 😻
About Lloyd's theory near the end, that religion makes it harder for us to accept that we can be "brainwashed:" I recommend taking a look at psychologist Daniel Kahneman's book Thinking Fast and Slow. It is all about how most of our thinking is associative and easily influenced, and how we fool ourselves into thinking that we are more rational than we really are. He won a nobel prize in economics for his work on behavior theory. It really helped me understand how we are influenced into doing and believing things that are not to our benefit.
Amazing! And very true about ExJW support groups. I was in a few. It often feels like you're back with the witnesses. But a cult support group is far better because you realise how similar cults are. It feels more like you're in the real world.
Yes! And stuck in that loop, wanting the opiate hormone for relief of the cortisol from the parent, leaders but instead only getting a drop here and there but stuck overloaded with cortisol stuck fearful and panicked and disassociate
Wow! So true governments want you in the cult mind set also for their own reasons… so important to teach our own children and educate our own selves and loved ones to think critically and carefully
My favourite interview so far. Also learned a lot!
this is so helpful to me. I spent 23 years in a cult and have been out 16 months. I need a lot of help understanding it all, and Stein's descriptions are very real to me. Also: I cancel Trump supporters. He is a serial predator and the worse sort of gaslighter. I agree that he is a cult leader.
The fact you "cancel" people for disagreeing with you is cultic behavior..Trump supporters do not have a tendency to do this to others.
@@janedoe3648 if you sexually abuse women -- yes, I will keep you out of my house. and if you enable those who do -- yes, I will cancel you from my family. by bye. It's not disagreement -- it's protection of people that I love.
Great video. Why an amazing lady.
Meant to say what am amazing lady.
This is such a great detail and breakdown explaining cult recovery. I definitely notice many of the issues and characteristics in my clients (especially talking about informed consent and deceptiveness!) when we help them deconstruct their faith and help them recover from Religious Trauma Syndrome.
I can’t tank you enough for all you do for the ex JW community. Is hard to recover from a cult. You are a good man Loid.
Great Video. It was really interesting & I enjoyed listening...thanks 👍😊
This is very helpful information for those of us seeking recovery! Thank you so much!😘😘😘
Thank you that was awesome 👏
Hi Lloyd , I listen to your videos because it is a safe place and helps me . Am I getting on with my life ...absolutely...wirh a vengeance .. using alot of my jw upbringing to make a positive life
I don't think it could happen to me - not because of my amazing critical thinking skills, but because I'm not that social. Love bombing would freak me out, I never feel fully part of any group I'm in/belong to (and I'm fine with that), and after a while I always need to spend time alone in my own head so I'll turn down any and all social engagements for some time.
You're actually a perfect candidate for a cult like JWs then! The social part of a cult is just a "decoration", very superficial. What they really want are loners like yourself who they can control "remotely" without any outside input or influence from friends, family and other social groups. Sure, not everyone is susceptible to a cult, but it's like a virus, everyone is a carrier and given the right "conditions", it could turn into a "full blown nasty illness" and hijack your thought process, emotions, etc. I'm sure you're OK, but maybe, just maybe, you just never know, so be careful!
Great conversation!
Lloyd I think you're right about religion. Thank you both for being pioneers in this movement.
Cults don’t “make” us - they exploit faults and needs that are already there. Compare this conversation with narcissistic family dynamics and codependency.
Thanks lloyd for this video a learn a few things, Thanks!
Great interview, thank you!
Fantastic !
I woke up in February and the first thing I did was apply to University to study Religion. I'm hoping to combine it with psychology studies. Dr Stein is definitely someone I look up to in this area! Thank you for this lovely interview
I just finished her book, i want to do a chapter by chapter review on my channel but am lazy
This was a great interview. Really enjoyed it. It was very therapeutic.
Great video.
Yest, temperament. Also for the born-in what did you love early on, gardening, yes or no. Loud music or quiet music, yes or no. Painting, writing at school? Early interests can translate into adult gifts! The sciences, literature, archeology?
on the subject of “deception” - I have never felt that I or anyone else was trying to deceive anyone or prey on their vulnerabilities or traumas as a JW - I sincerely felt I was trying to help people with their problems through learning about the Bible. I have a genuine sense of spirituality- always loved God and Jesus - ultimately I found the longer I was there, the more I felt damaged and stunted spiritually - that is my experience but I know that others have had a completely different experience and many sincerely wish to help others also.
I have no idea where I am now. shunned by my community and family, alienated from my young daughter, trying to care for my son with no where to live and no help and being hounded by elders who wish to “help me” by going over my traumas to see which ones were my fault and how I can repent for them.
all that aside - I still think they believe they are sincerely doing their best to serve God
This video is very helpful for me. I came out a pair of years ago and I keep struggling with what-if thoughts. Thank you Lloyd for your work.
Love this interview! Dr. Stein is both intelligent and relatable.
so many points to take to therapy... i became a pro in cutting people off and away from my life after being disfellowshiped... i'm constantly reliving the disfellowshiping over and over... always waiting for the night in wich the'll turn on me like the congregation did, so i'll go and "disfellowship" people for reasons that my head can't even comprehend... Oh my... where am i?
Being aware of these _"personality problems"_ is a huge first step towards solving them.
Some of the *biggest battles we will ever fight* are the ones *we fight in our heads with ourselves.*
I think you'll figure it out, because reasoning your way out of the cult is clear evidence of your intellect.
@@moodyrick8503 thank you so much! ❤ it's been 15 years since i've left. i tried my best to just forget and move on but, since 2016 i had a major breakdown dor a lot of "superficial" issues that cost me a personality disorder diagnosis, 1 attempt of unaliving myself, 2 years of agoraphobia and only now, after 8 years of therapy, my mind is letting those memories to come to surface so i can start to work on the real thing.
sorry if it's tmi... it helps me greatly to process feelings by writing.
once again, thank you! ❤
EDIT: tmi.
The new pioneers! 🤩🤗🤓
🐘and yes Dr. that elephant is indeed there!!!
I live in relative isolation with basically no friends and family. Therapy is out of the question. Therapy is you tube and listening to people's experiences Expanded research into the authenticity of the bible and archeological information. Feela little bit of peace. But the what if question is big. It was/is really devastating to realize I had/have no where to go and directions is basically nonexistent.
Don't lost hope in yourself and your life. I also live in a pretty isolated situation but I do live with one person in my family. Try if you can to reach out (just like you're doing now!) and connect with other people that may share your experiences or interests.. It really makes all the difference. You can do it online and you can do what makes you comfortable (maybe step out of your comfort zone just a TINY bit each time). Just make sure you at least continue to try because isolation can be comforting but if we don't break it at times, we can let ourselves fall down a deep, dark hole. There is a light at the end of the disappointment you feel so just keep trying to search for happiness anywhere you can. Eventually you will realize that you are finding happiness and you aren't having to exert as much effort as you did before... it will just be natural.
@@Shmaples Thanks.
similar situation. a thing that is real and true will be real and true under scrutiny. things that are theories or hard to prove as fact, should be questioned until proven true or false. the society, ccjw, watchtower, wbts, .should welcome research. or they should be called the false
Thank you,
This is my favorite interview so far
Man… I want to get into the field and help people.
Lloyd, excellent content!
Thank you 🙏🏼
Wonderfully informative talk from Dr.Stein. I am an ex Jehovah's Witness.
Please bring her back.
Yes to agree to disagree on subjects yet take in information. To be able to critically think is very important. The JW's spoon feed the new recruits.Thank you both for this revealing informational video.