I’m totally over one of these associations now (I call it an association, not a relationship. They’re not capable). My biggest regret is I could almost smell the evil through all of the love and flattery. I could sense their hunger for supply and glee when they achieved it, but I still walked in. Took me a long time to work out I was complicit in my own mistreatment and forgive myself.
I feel exactly the same, I'm in process of forgiving myself I basically new what he was doing and allowed it, I allowed him in my home during a hoover.
❤ this video, this is how I literally feel/felt. 20 years lived with a narcisists, and I almost took my life. but now I am healing foe the better of my children and myself 🙏🙏
One question I have is how come there r so many narcs in this world? My mother is a narc and so far I have not been able to completely get away from her. I did a lot of therapy already.
Your work is changing my life! It's inspiring & empowering! Thank you, love! What's interesting is that these behaviors don't always manifest in a linear way & they can even be more subtle. Like a little push & pull from moment to moment. Showering me with so much love & then checking out other women & making eye contact with the stranger at the grocery store everytime we pass her. When I ask about it, gas lights me & becomes enraged. Even though I am not angry at all bringing it up. Actually trying to talk about it. The other thing I notice is that being with one long enough, we can start adapting some of that push & pull. Being loving & open one moment, and then later closed off. It's not the same though because were not coming from manipulation. We're coming from genuinely wanting connection, then being traumatized & feeling a wall of pain & protection.
Very powerful video! Thank you sooo much, Mel. I just set some boundaries with my daughter about how I never wanted to be talked down to &/or verbally disres&pected again by her. It's totally new behavior for me & I got a little emotional when I laid down my boundary (I sternly said, "Don't you ever, ever, ever TALK to me like that EVER again!!") & I meant it. But I don't know how it will be between us in the future. I always wanted her to 'respect' me but I don't think she wIll ever do that; now that I keep feeling like she is a narc. I guess I just have to keep protecting myself' & I need to have very low expectations FOR our relationship ever improving much, if at all. I just don't want to be around her much bc I'd just be laying myself open do being destroyed either verbally, emotionally or both.
That's so key what you say. To approach a prospective relationship -of any kind- from a position of fullness and to take it, if it looks the most wonderful thing I may add, with a grain of salt. Step 3 is so powerful, so liberating and so true.
She acted like a victim, all her ex's had hurt her, by cheating or hitting her. I was instantly protective and on her side. Forward 13 years of chaos abuse from her, anxiety and loneliness, she discards me and tells the new guy I abused her!!! Its all BS, she was the abuser and I now doubt the abuse stories from previous relationships. Cruel heartless manipulative creature.
So sorry!! Many of us fall for these victim stories.. because we are kind and caring. Your experience sounds really tough. But you’ve found the best, Melanie!
Do you have a way to help teach my kids how to build themselves up so they can do this on their own and don't have to be susceptible to the narcissistic abuse
You're getting to next level these days MTE. Really transcendent education. Thanks for your great work. Sorry you had to experience all this first hand to understand so well how it all works.
A female narcissist had connected to my energy in early childhood. It was more difficult to heal from this energy screw up than even life and death scenarios. I suppose they've perfected ways of stealing energy as to make it almost impossible to heal. I will say I felt the most energetic than I had in several years after I'd healed from that. 😁
@@borgullet3376 yeah I can only imagine how the people that are raised by narcissists are as narcs see every body and everything as an energy source. 🙂
I agree .. once you see the pattern and your onto the fact that they live , breathe off your energy .. it’ll actually disgust you . .. One of lifes voids …
Yes.. and agree.. great info.. BUT.. no one is perfect - we all have wounds and we all behave nasty at times.. it's the ability to have awareness and self-reflect .. yes we can only heal ourselves.. when a friend or partner will honestly communicate.. that can be growth.. But narcissists never do this.. they fake it. run away - etc.. isn't that the difference. Yes I get that it.. narcissist need trauma drama and pain.. and they create it - even when there is none. books to read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help FEAST OF MEN & REFLECTIONS OF THE CURSE - journey of a woman's heart..
I haven't been with the man in eleven years, but he has kept me in the relationship, so to speak, through our son and the legal abuse of family court. I feel trapped, because he wants a fight. I either let him have his way or spend thousands fighting which usually ends up with him getting his way anyways. I have lost custody, and I don't know what to do.
I’m totally over one of these associations now (I call it an association, not a relationship. They’re not capable). My biggest regret is I could almost smell the evil through all of the love and flattery. I could sense their hunger for supply and glee when they achieved it, but I still walked in. Took me a long time to work out I was complicit in my own mistreatment and forgive myself.
I feel exactly the same, I'm in process of forgiving myself I basically new what he was doing and allowed it, I allowed him in my home during a hoover.
❤ this video, this is how I literally feel/felt. 20 years lived with a narcisists, and I almost took my life.
but now I am healing foe the better of my children and myself 🙏🙏
One question I have is how come there r so many narcs in this world? My mother is a narc and so far I have not been able to completely get away from her. I did a lot of therapy already.
Your work is changing my life! It's inspiring & empowering! Thank you, love! What's interesting is that these behaviors don't always manifest in a linear way & they can even be more subtle. Like a little push & pull from moment to moment. Showering me with so much love & then checking out other women & making eye contact with the stranger at the grocery store everytime we pass her. When I ask about it, gas lights me & becomes enraged. Even though I am not angry at all bringing it up. Actually trying to talk about it. The other thing I notice is that being with one long enough, we can start adapting some of that push & pull. Being loving & open one moment, and then later closed off. It's not the same though because were not coming from manipulation. We're coming from genuinely wanting connection, then being traumatized & feeling a wall of pain & protection.
Very powerful video! Thank you sooo much, Mel. I just set some boundaries with my daughter about how I never wanted to be talked down to &/or verbally disres&pected again by her. It's totally new behavior for me & I got a little emotional when I laid down my boundary (I sternly said, "Don't you ever, ever, ever TALK to me like that EVER again!!") & I meant it. But I don't know how it will be between us in the future. I always wanted her to 'respect' me but I don't think she wIll ever do that; now that I keep feeling like she is a narc. I guess I just have to keep protecting myself' & I need to have very low expectations FOR our relationship ever improving much, if at all. I just don't want to be around her much bc I'd just be laying myself open do being destroyed either verbally, emotionally or both.
That's so key what you say. To approach a prospective relationship -of any kind- from a position of fullness and to take it, if it looks the most wonderful thing I may add, with a grain of salt.
Step 3 is so powerful, so liberating and so true.
She acted like a victim, all her ex's had hurt her, by cheating or hitting her. I was instantly protective and on her side. Forward 13 years of chaos abuse from her, anxiety and loneliness, she discards me and tells the new guy I abused her!!! Its all BS, she was the abuser and I now doubt the abuse stories from previous relationships. Cruel heartless manipulative creature.
So sorry!! Many of us fall for these victim stories.. because we are kind and caring. Your experience sounds really tough. But you’ve found the best, Melanie!
@@annastone5624 thank you Anna, impossible relationship, very hard to move on but getting there slowly. Take care.
Do you have a way to help teach my kids how to build themselves up so they can do this on their own and don't have to be susceptible to the narcissistic abuse
You're getting to next level these days MTE. Really transcendent education. Thanks for your great work. Sorry you had to experience all this first hand to understand so well how it all works.
Thankyou, really enjoy your videos!
OMG! Thank you so much for putting this information out there. This can be a beginning for me, only was it possible from seeing this video ❤❤
Totally needed to hear this thank you !
"Hungry people make the worst shoppers"... Deep.
Should I watch these vids for a borderline? They apply but not with the same motivation
A female narcissist had connected to my energy in early childhood. It was more difficult to heal from this energy screw up than even life and death scenarios. I suppose they've perfected ways of stealing energy as to make it almost impossible to heal. I will say I felt the most energetic than I had in several years after I'd healed from that. 😁
with the primary caretaker narcs it ain't over until they're 6 feet under.
Glad you are healing - keep moving
@@borgullet3376 yeah I can only imagine how the people that are raised by narcissists are as narcs see every body and everything as an energy source. 🙂
Thank you.
❤️❤️❤️Thank You Melanie ❤️❤️❤️
When ppl self market their traits they are telling you or selling you ...beware
@@melw3313
Wolf in sheep’s clothing
You nailed it
You have to also account for victims that are tied through Prenuptial agreements.
It’s attachment ...the trauma bond can be broken once you’re aware
I agree .. once you see the pattern and your onto the fact that they live , breathe off your energy .. it’ll actually disgust you . .. One of lifes voids …
Yes.. and agree.. great info.. BUT.. no one is perfect - we all have wounds and we all behave nasty at times.. it's the ability to have awareness and self-reflect .. yes we can only heal ourselves.. when a friend or partner will honestly communicate.. that can be growth.. But narcissists never do this.. they fake it. run away - etc.. isn't that the difference. Yes I get that it.. narcissist need trauma drama and pain.. and they create it - even when there is none. books to read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help FEAST OF MEN & REFLECTIONS OF THE CURSE - journey of a woman's heart..
I haven't been with the man in eleven years, but he has kept me in the relationship, so to speak, through our son and the legal abuse of family court. I feel trapped, because he wants a fight. I either let him have his way or spend
thousands fighting
which usually ends up with
him getting his way anyways. I have lost custody, and I don't know what to do.