Number one, it's Michael, Number two, he was the third child, Number three, he was born in JERSEY. Like, I'm pretty sure in Jersey they teach the word Fuck in schools, but all those things together, he likely knew the word Fuck when he was still in the uterus!
Once, when I was getting ready to move to a new house, my brother and I were taking apart a shelf in the garage. The supports of the shelf were made of PVC, and one of the supports had gotten stuck in the shelf. My brother was using a rubber mallet to get the support out, and it didn't seem to be working. I stepped out to grab some water, and when I came back my brother was complaining about how the support still hadn't budged. I told him to give it one good whack, worst case we have to get a new pipe for the support or a new shelf. At this point, I was standing a good 20 feet away. My brother hits the pipe hard, and it flies across the garage and hits me square in the forehead. It left a perfect crescent-shaped scar just under my widow's peak that's still there 10 years later.
My stepdad threw a door open once and it hit me in the face, and it split my eyebrow open, and I had blood in my eye and I was freaking out but he literally said "oh shut up, you big baby. I didn't hit you that hard." Mfw I had to get seven stitches on my eyebrow. He's a major asshole
It's strange what the doctor said to Michael and Lindsay tho. My brother was walking through a doorway when the door slammed shut oh his face, one of those old style glass doors. It cut a pretty deep chunk out of his cheek, a massive part of his bottom lip was gone and the corner of the lip was cut as well. A lot of stitches were had that day. 12 years on and you cant even see the scarring unless you get up close to him, (of course he hides the one on his cheek pretty well with his beard). So i wouldn't say he got deformed from the scarring, but he was pretty fuckin lucky.
Did he get plastic surgery because I split my lip when I was a kid and they had to bring a guy in just so I didn’t have this big bulging scar on my lip
hen my sister was like 4 she took a baseball bat and tried to kill a fly in the garage and broke the garage windows. She ran upstairs and told our parents "It'sh vewy dangeroush down dere."
In the house I spent half my life in, in New Jersey (rips shirt off), we had this chute that went from the first floor to the basement laundry room. It was supposed to be used to just drop shit in for convenience I guess but as kids we'd put anything in there. One of us would stand on the first floor dropping the stuff and the second person would catch it. This was the mid-90's so we had plush toys that had battery components. I dropped one down there and the battery panel, basically a hard plastic sheet with sharp corners, hit my little sister on the forehead and sliced it open. I ran downstairs and honestly, I was more worried that I was going to be in so much trouble when my Mom found out and thought I did it on purpose. God I think that was 4th grade. That thing was fun.
Quick little thing here... Michael is actually somewhat right lip splits are harder to fix but are definitely not impossible... My sister fell on some ice and spit her lip open with her own chipped tooth... Paramedics (at the event we were at) got her to a doctor (she was 12 at the time) and she's perfectly fine now three stitches in her lip ad almost no scar.
I feel so bad for all the Achievement Hunters' moms. Hats off to them for keeping their idiot children alive and preventing them from killing themselves or each other.
Michael: I only got a couple of stitches for the first time in my life and the last time, meanwhile I have 27 stitches that pulled my leg back together after I had a bike impale my left thigh leg at 23 miles per hour... That was a fun morning...
TLDR: I went down a hill too fast and impaled myself... sorry i've been gone for while, basically here is the story: back in 2017 before school (I was a senior in high school at the time) I would bike for about 10 miles or an hour (whichever happened first) from 5 am to 6 am. after biking I'd go home, shower, and then eat breakfast on my way to school. on this day though I didn't get to school at all. I set out at 5:15, a little late cause i slept in, and had a really fun bike ride. On the way back there is this really steep hill (about 300 feet long and around a 18 degree angle) and i was at the top of it and i had to get down it. usually i walk my bike down so that way i don't crash and kill myself but today i was in a hurry and i also wanted to see if i could do it. I rode down the hill and according to my fitbit i got up to 23 miles per hour, and then 0 because my back tire fishtailed out from behind me and i slammed into a guard rail, causing my right (yes, right... not left,) handlebar to impale my left thigh at 23 mph. I missed my femoral artery by about 4 millimetres and almost destroyed all the nerves in my leg in the process. I was out of school for about 1.5 weeks, in a wheelchair for 2 days and on a cane for 3 weeks. however, i was up and walking by day 2 when the doctors didn't think id be walking for two months.
Is anyone else surprised by the voices Jeremy can sometimes pull off, I can recall this one @3:40 and some other video he talks in a voice that doesn’t seem to fit him
Christina Jakubek if it's the one I'm thinking of she fell on her chin during an immersion or something like that over in Australia last year or a couple years ago. not sure if that's the same instance or not but it's the only time I remember hearing about her getting her
4:40 that's not true actually, my top teeth went through my bottom lip like all the way through and my lip healed itself, like the doctors said "we can't really do anything because it will heal itself" And a few years later like 11 years latey lip is perfect fine and normal
I had one stitch below the corner of my eyebrow when I was young. If I just showed a picture of my eye, you could see it. It was from me pressing my face against the bus window and the bus must have stopped and somehow ripped my skin open. I don’t remember most of it, all that it remember was that a got like some cover that looked like I had an eye patch.
Like Jeremy I also hit my head on a coffee table when I was two, which required stitches. It was a glass top table and I hit the edge after slipping on a book I left on the floor, now I have an inch long scar cleaving my right eyebrow in half. :D
I love that Gavin and Micheal know each other well enough for Gavin to say he knows which brother and for Micheal to say it wasn't without know which one Gavin thinks.
That last part, talking about lips almost being sliced and such... i actually had my lip torn apart when i was younger.... i have no recollection of it though seeing as i was... what... 4? 5? But it's almost not even visible that it happened, you have to look pretty darn closely to see the "derformation" on my lips :b
Well that Australian doctor must be off his rocker because I've had my lip split almost completely in half like 12 times..... Its like im a car accident magnet. My face is fine...
so I live in Nevada in a giant ass desert and when my older brothers were little they used to go fuck around out there being the kids they were. So one day my oldest brother Kurt found a fucking rubar pipe thing and was playing rock golf with my other brother Nick. So after playing awhile Kurt swung a little to close to Nick AND RIPPED HIS FUCKING EAR OFF. needless to say he had to get it stitched back on. One of the many incidents where one of my brothers had to get stiches
Amy Glick Denise is Michael’s real mom I don’t remember if he said why he calls her by her first name, and Lindsay is his wife and has children with her
when I split my head open my brother was Michael's brother freaking it and shit and his friend Matthew just sprinted to me and rushed me to my mum (I was around 5-6 at the time)
I had a small dog bite through my upper lip so that it was severed in the center. Hung down from the corner of my mouth down past my lower lip. It healed up well. Just a faded scar.
In their head: it was a javelin
In Michels head: it was a sharp object
A sharp object was in his head yes
@@trapbuilder2283 thank you for repeating the joke and somehow making it sound dumb
@@PDXDario No problem, anytime bro
@@trapbuilder2283 r/YourJokeButWorse
@@PDXDario honestly theirs made me laugh more than the original
Other David carrying Michael should've been animated, that sounds hilarious.
rockah12
Omg yes!
Also nice profile pic! It looks like asriel playing murder from Gmod XD
Like Hodor but Davie
Budget cuts
"Double Ds." says Ryan while he strokes a phallic fruit with a smirk.
Ryan was really proud of that joke
this aged well
This has not bagged well
“That one didn’t age quite so well.” -JonTron
@@midnitest0rm damn beat me too it
“May be it’s all that broken glass down stairs?” I wonder how many times Jeremy ratted himself out to his parents?
So do I :) Michael got a great laugh outta Jeremy basically ratting himself out like that.
Fuckin, Jeremy's response to his mom, "Maybe its all the broken glass downstairs." Perfect excuse
"Did you know the f-word at that point?" Gav asking the real questions
Jane St. Valentine “I’m sure I fucking did”
Gavin: Did you know the F word at that point.
Me: Gavin it's Michael he came out of the womb knowing the F word.
Number one, it's Michael, Number two, he was the third child, Number three, he was born in JERSEY. Like, I'm pretty sure in Jersey they teach the word Fuck in schools, but all those things together, he likely knew the word Fuck when he was still in the uterus!
I mean he's from Jersey so it's a distinct possibility.
A, B. *clap* Hospital. Stitches.
4:09 Nice cover story, Jeremy.
800Frozone Even Michael got a great laugh out of that gem
Only Jeremy would rat himself out like that.
He did say hes a good liar while playing games, but the worst liar in real life
He obviously panicked XD
Once, when I was getting ready to move to a new house, my brother and I were taking apart a shelf in the garage. The supports of the shelf were made of PVC, and one of the supports had gotten stuck in the shelf. My brother was using a rubber mallet to get the support out, and it didn't seem to be working.
I stepped out to grab some water, and when I came back my brother was complaining about how the support still hadn't budged. I told him to give it one good whack, worst case we have to get a new pipe for the support or a new shelf.
At this point, I was standing a good 20 feet away. My brother hits the pipe hard, and it flies across the garage and hits me square in the forehead. It left a perfect crescent-shaped scar just under my widow's peak that's still there 10 years later.
My stepdad threw a door open once and it hit me in the face, and it split my eyebrow open, and I had blood in my eye and I was freaking out but he literally said "oh shut up, you big baby. I didn't hit you that hard." Mfw I had to get seven stitches on my eyebrow. He's a major asshole
Hit him with a brick, say the same fucking thing to him.
Hey friend I know this comment is over four years old, but I hope you’re doing well
@@daniels2745 Thanks, but I’m not!
@@tacotaco1239 I’m sorry to hear that friend, but hopefully it’ll get better soon. Hope you’re having a good day
You're quick with these. Very good job!
It's strange what the doctor said to Michael and Lindsay tho. My brother was walking through a doorway when the door slammed shut oh his face, one of those old style glass doors. It cut a pretty deep chunk out of his cheek, a massive part of his bottom lip was gone and the corner of the lip was cut as well. A lot of stitches were had that day.
12 years on and you cant even see the scarring unless you get up close to him, (of course he hides the one on his cheek pretty well with his beard). So i wouldn't say he got deformed from the scarring, but he was pretty fuckin lucky.
Gaboose I've also cut my lip fully through and it healed up fine.
Did he get plastic surgery because I split my lip when I was a kid and they had to bring a guy in just so I didn’t have this big bulging scar on my lip
Gaboose the surgeon may have also just been making conversation to distract lindsay while he stitched her! ☺️
Yes!! Thanks for already having this up!! 😄
ryan just gives off that crazy guy vibe
Oh yes hembo
Up until Jeremy's mum appeared in the video I thought he was recounting a recent event...
Was he "Even more Lil J" back then?
khif13 Micro J
khif13 mini j
Micro J.
Baby J.
Mini J.
Micro J.
For me, the Beanie Baby gave it away. Way too 90's
hen my sister was like 4 she took a baseball bat and tried to kill a fly in the garage and broke the garage windows. She ran upstairs and told our parents "It'sh vewy dangeroush down dere."
That's adorable
i love how he describes knowing the f word by USING the f word
Blake n/a of course he fucking would
And that's where the comedy comes in.
In the house I spent half my life in, in New Jersey (rips shirt off), we had this chute that went from the first floor to the basement laundry room. It was supposed to be used to just drop shit in for convenience I guess but as kids we'd put anything in there. One of us would stand on the first floor dropping the stuff and the second person would catch it. This was the mid-90's so we had plush toys that had battery components. I dropped one down there and the battery panel, basically a hard plastic sheet with sharp corners, hit my little sister on the forehead and sliced it open. I ran downstairs and honestly, I was more worried that I was going to be in so much trouble when my Mom found out and thought I did it on purpose. God I think that was 4th grade. That thing was fun.
Quick little thing here... Michael is actually somewhat right lip splits are harder to fix but are definitely not impossible... My sister fell on some ice and spit her lip open with her own chipped tooth... Paramedics (at the event we were at) got her to a doctor (she was 12 at the time) and she's perfectly fine now three stitches in her lip ad almost no scar.
That cutaway edit was Fuckin' amazin'.
You're Fuckin' amazin'.
That is such a Massachusetts and New Jersey way of handling situations
My boi hembo, knew you'd be here wit the real deal
Ahh hell yeah I knew u would do this as soon they uploaded this good job.
When I was about 9 I hit my friends mom in the head with his homemade bow and arrow... looking back we shouldn't have fired towards the house
Say what???
I feel so bad for all the Achievement Hunters' moms. Hats off to them for keeping their idiot children alive and preventing them from killing themselves or each other.
Note how young Michael's shirt is an.n64 controller but current Michael's shirt is a Xbox controller
2:14 man michael thats offensive. Im one of those freak kids. 15 years 6'5
SRGT Bloodshot it’s okay he’s from New Jersey he insults everyone
My buddy was like that. He was like 6'4 going into high school.
Whole family was huge, shortest was his mom at 5'11. Owned an Irish Wolfhound.
Michael: I only got a couple of stitches for the first time in my life and the last time, meanwhile I have 27 stitches that pulled my leg back together after I had a bike impale my left thigh leg at 23 miles per hour... That was a fun morning...
Minercycle I want to know the story about how you impaled your thigh with a bike
Ok wait what part of the bike? Or like an entire bike at once?
TLDR: I went down a hill too fast and impaled myself... sorry i've been gone for while, basically here is the story: back in 2017 before school (I was a senior in high school at the time) I would bike for about 10 miles or an hour (whichever happened first) from 5 am to 6 am. after biking I'd go home, shower, and then eat breakfast on my way to school. on this day though I didn't get to school at all. I set out at 5:15, a little late cause i slept in, and had a really fun bike ride. On the way back there is this really steep hill (about 300 feet long and around a 18 degree angle) and i was at the top of it and i had to get down it. usually i walk my bike down so that way i don't crash and kill myself but today i was in a hurry and i also wanted to see if i could do it. I rode down the hill and according to my fitbit i got up to 23 miles per hour, and then 0 because my back tire fishtailed out from behind me and i slammed into a guard rail, causing my right (yes, right... not left,) handlebar to impale my left thigh at 23 mph. I missed my femoral artery by about 4 millimetres and almost destroyed all the nerves in my leg in the process. I was out of school for about 1.5 weeks, in a wheelchair for 2 days and on a cane for 3 weeks. however, i was up and walking by day 2 when the doctors didn't think id be walking for two months.
Is anyone else surprised by the voices Jeremy can sometimes pull off, I can recall this one @3:40 and some other video he talks in a voice that doesn’t seem to fit him
thank you for this
Jeremy, we need to talk. I had the same coffee table incident when I was 2, I didn't get stitches but stop stealing my life. XD
I had the Harry potter scar because I got hit with a wii remote
I wanna fight the people who press dislike on Hembo's videos.
Eilonwy 1 v 19
Eilonwy
Then come find me *gives devilish look*
Ill hold em for you
What was the story Michael mentioned about Lindsay cutting her face? Does anyone know/did he tell it?
Christina Jakubek if it's the one I'm thinking of she fell on her chin during an immersion or something like that over in Australia last year or a couple years ago. not sure if that's the same instance or not but it's the only time I remember hearing about her getting her
Jeremy's perfect playoff is amazing
4:40 that's not true actually, my top teeth went through my bottom lip like all the way through and my lip healed itself, like the doctors said "we can't really do anything because it will heal itself" And a few years later like 11 years latey lip is perfect fine and normal
Sounds like Jeremy shouldve come clean about it and I’m probably sure his mom would’ve understood
Jesus this is the earliest I've ever been.
I had one stitch below the corner of my eyebrow when I was young. If I just showed a picture of my eye, you could see it. It was from me pressing my face against the bus window and the bus must have stopped and somehow ripped my skin open. I don’t remember most of it, all that it remember was that a got like some cover that looked like I had an eye patch.
Fucking Other Dave is a damn hero. Seriously.
Like Jeremy I also hit my head on a coffee table when I was two, which required stitches. It was a glass top table and I hit the edge after slipping on a book I left on the floor, now I have an inch long scar cleaving my right eyebrow in half. :D
Michael I have a similar situation but mine was a wooden closet rod and it hit me in the back of the leg.
I love that Gavin and Micheal know each other well enough for Gavin to say he knows which brother and for Micheal to say it wasn't without know which one Gavin thinks.
i got stitches once from my pinky coming off after getting slammed in a door
A dog bit through my lip so I have stitches on my lip and everything like that and the surgeon fixed my whole lip and I look totally fine
Jeremy, stop stealing my life. That's my coffee table story.
D2 is the best! Hero of the... 90s? 80s? Whatever. He's a hero.
Kranki Pete i'd guess early 90's
Yeah, you're right. He's 30, and it's 2017, he was about 10, so 2017 - 20 equals 1993.
I had my lip cut clean to the other side and the doctor managed to stich it without messing up my face.
Reach LASO Squad!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!
So,is this why Michael hates characters named David?
Ice Bear for2016 I can’t tell if that’s a camp camp reference or something else 😅
Friend David seems nice for picking up micheal
That last part, talking about lips almost being sliced and such... i actually had my lip torn apart when i was younger.... i have no recollection of it though seeing as i was... what... 4? 5?
But it's almost not even visible that it happened, you have to look pretty darn closely to see the "derformation" on my lips :b
4:25 pause there. The look you get when you realize you just one a billion dollars.
Michael only learned "fuck" at 7? Man I was saying that shit when I was 6. And I'm in England and not at all from jersey.
Did Ryan just call someone trade?
2:40 Nice story Jeremy
Are David and Michael a common older/younger brother name combo?? My name’s Michael and my brother’s name is David.
I've cut my lip before and it healed back normally. No deformites at all. Don't know what Michael is on about.
why does Michael sound like he smoked 100 cigarettes before this
Holy shit I literally did the same thing with my brother with a pvc pipe. Barely missed his eye with it.
I had stitches under my eye because I hit my face on my bath tub
The lip can be repaired if cut. Mine was and it looks fine 😂
Ryan just playing with the bananas that's just weird
What is the animated version of Jeremy's mom look like she's 16
oh, dang. I'm a big 6 ft 1 David that looks 23
when michael says that being 16 and 6’1 is a freak and your 14 and 6’2
lip cuts can be fixed without much trouble
Well that Australian doctor must be off his rocker because I've had my lip split almost completely in half like 12 times.....
Its like im a car accident magnet.
My face is fine...
so I live in Nevada in a giant ass desert and when my older brothers were little they used to go fuck around out there being the kids they were. So one day my oldest brother Kurt found a fucking rubar pipe thing and was playing rock golf with my other brother Nick. So after playing awhile Kurt swung a little to close to Nick AND RIPPED HIS FUCKING EAR OFF. needless to say he had to get it stitched back on. One of the many incidents where one of my brothers had to get stiches
D:
I have that same doggo
I have two friends named Kayla. My other friend is named Brittany, which is my name. People flock to people that have the same name lol.
So Dees is Michaels stepmom and Lindsey is dating Michael cause I don’t really watch the podcast
Amy Glick Denise is Michael’s real mom I don’t remember if he said why he calls her by her first name, and Lindsay is his wife and has children with her
when I split my head open my brother was Michael's brother freaking it and shit and his friend Matthew just sprinted to me and rushed me to my mum (I was around 5-6 at the time)
Yay
Lil'er J?
im one kf those freak kkds whos 16 and looks 25 😂😂😔😔
Deformed your face?
We have really great reconstructive surgeons and technology available now.
I've had 206 stitches in my face, all at once. i was mauled by a dog
Gia Blasingame
I can't imagine the pain, I'm so sorry that happened to you!😢💚
Gia Blasingame Yeah I can tell you ugly bitch
Jeremy Scott Damn dude chilllll
I had a small dog bite through my upper lip so that it was severed in the center. Hung down from the corner of my mouth down past my lower lip. It healed up well. Just a faded scar.
7 and 16 interesting age gap.
Fun
Lol
in the rtaa jermey is swinging the way of a left handed person but hes right handed WTF!?!?! IM OUTRAGED!!!! jk.