The Insecurity of Dependent Personality Disorder

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  • Опубліковано 25 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 374

  • @virginia3937
    @virginia3937 10 місяців тому +25

    I have been diagnosed with this disorder. It is so embarrassing. I'm 41 but I feel like a helpless child.

    • @stardustNine
      @stardustNine 3 місяці тому +3

      Same, I'm 39. I feel for you❤ I found this video looking for answers to heal. I've been in therapy for many years but have had the same problem my whole life. It went undiagnosed until last year. Probably overshadowed by my other mental health struggles. My heart goes out to you and I wish for your healing and autonomy. In other words..your freedom🙏🏻✨

    • @althaad3396
      @althaad3396 24 дні тому

      Which female partner is better for a men with this type of personality

  • @Anikinomundo
    @Anikinomundo 3 роки тому +228

    My father was a narcissist and my mom a dependent personality disorder. It worked because my dad loved that people had to rely on him for everything.

    • @juanpedro4083
      @juanpedro4083 3 роки тому +6

      today I saw a person totally out of his mind, probably the family does not know where that person is. what to do when we meet people in these conditions.

    • @VergilFan
      @VergilFan 3 роки тому +40

      I had a similar situation growing up. I'm not sure if my dad was a narcissist, but he was controlling and abusive. My mother was submissive. She would tell me to ignore his behavior when I use to ask her to leave him. 😐😐 So, his downtalking to me, combined with being probably the most bullied in school, really took its toll on me. In my 20s, I had terrible anxiety working, to the point where I'd have to run into the bathroom to calm down. It was terrible. I'm in my 30s and alot better, but my anxiety still lingers.

    • @Contessa998
      @Contessa998 3 роки тому +15

      @@VergilFan
      He was most likely narcissistic.......glad you are getting better. God bless

    • @Contessa998
      @Contessa998 3 роки тому +5

      Very familiar and very sad

    • @Fernanda-wo1qk
      @Fernanda-wo1qk 3 роки тому +3

      It seems like you're diagnosing them based on your own perceptions, rather than relying on some medical diagnose.

  • @coolkitty2075
    @coolkitty2075 Рік тому +50

    My parents were very strict.
    Could barely think for myself.
    Took years to work through it 😢

    • @Nafisatsuleiman1
      @Nafisatsuleiman1 5 місяців тому

      Sameeee😭😭

    • @kav782
      @kav782 3 місяці тому

      This !!! I thought I was the only 😢 felt really excluded ngl.

  • @thedevil1667
    @thedevil1667 3 роки тому +55

    In the first year of middle school I got involved in the "popular girls group" I was their servant... I always followed them and never had anything to say. I was always embarrassed and I couldn't say no to anything. I thought we were friends but at the same time I hated them! I was trapped. Thank god I realized that it was toxic and left that group. Took my best friend with me. Now I'm a completely different person. Now I'm 15 and I understand so much more! They made me understand how people really treat each other. Taught me to not trust everybody.

    • @nothomelessonyoutube
      @nothomelessonyoutube Рік тому +3

      So how was being 16 and probably doing the same thing but a diffrent group of people?

    • @KellenAdair
      @KellenAdair Рік тому +3

      Best to learn early. Good job!

    • @msdesiraecannonministerfor6921
      @msdesiraecannonministerfor6921 10 місяців тому +1

      As a college graduate in social science, this area in psychology is also prevalent in my mental health development. 8 years ago I had a serious problem with my health, seizures.

    • @msdesiraecannonministerfor6921
      @msdesiraecannonministerfor6921 10 місяців тому

      Currently on medical disability insurance. On medication for this disorder. Must have my friend drive me to grocery shopping .
      By the grace of God, iam. Still alive.

  • @Shirden
    @Shirden 3 роки тому +154

    This describes what I'm experiencing in my life as a result of growing up with co-dependent conditioning . . .

  • @nomiddlenamenmn427
    @nomiddlenamenmn427 3 роки тому +24

    I was in a relationship with someone with DPD. He constantly said he was in love with me. He literally told me that he was in love with me five to ten times a day. When we went into premarital counseling, he didn’t want to answer any personal questions before seeing all of mine so he could copy all of them. He was convinced, if we married, he could cling to me to the point we never spent a moment apart. Great video.

  • @rosaliakasolo2315
    @rosaliakasolo2315 3 роки тому +86

    Hey Doc ? Do you know that you deserve an Oscar award, Nobel prize or one of that kind of awards...... I really don't know which one .
    Thank you so much for helping me with all my psychology assignment. You always one UA-cam away. 🤩

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +18

      Ha! I love that. One UA-cam away...

  • @dejaniracosme7822
    @dejaniracosme7822 3 роки тому +63

    I have most of the signs for this disorder. I always thought I felt this way because of low self esteem and/ or because of my social anxiety. I feel good to know the conditions that I have and understand more and more my feelings because sometimes I don’t even know how to put them in words but at the same time it makes me sad that I may have more going on than what I think. :(

    • @johnbrock4974
      @johnbrock4974 3 роки тому +6

      Wishing the best. Low self esteem + social anxiety = dependent personality disorder. I have both, so I'm at risk. I'm 15 though, so I can't know.

    • @dejaniracosme7822
      @dejaniracosme7822 3 роки тому

      @@johnbrock4974 thank you. Hopefully you will not develop it. Best wishes to you too.

    • @dejaniracosme7822
      @dejaniracosme7822 3 роки тому

      @Hetta G :(

    • @Tinyteacher1111
      @Tinyteacher1111 3 роки тому +1

      @@johnbrock4974 You probably can feel it. I’d start working on this if I were you. My son is 35, and can’t do anything by himself now that he’s a recovering addict. He lost his entire sense of self. 🥲

    • @lemonade_011
      @lemonade_011 3 роки тому

      @@johnbrock4974 same but not diagnosed cuz of bad social anxiety I get you

  • @addysaw
    @addysaw 3 роки тому +51

    As an extroverted person, I despise being alone, makes me depressed as hell.
    But I just CRAVE human contact.
    Where I live though, everyone's a negative Nancy and you feel worse around them. Vicious cycle

    • @nitakate10
      @nitakate10 3 роки тому +4

      I know it’s a difficult time in our world with COVID. Hang in there buddy. I have this too. I hate it. My partner has to walk me across the road and hold my hand I feel pathetic I’m 50

    • @addysaw
      @addysaw 3 роки тому

      @@nitakate10 what is it that scared you of being outdoors? Can you face that anxiety to get rid of it?

  • @simev500
    @simev500 3 роки тому +24

    (3:31) “…fear that if you become good at something, you may be abandoned and may not have someone around for the support you need…” Umm. I experienced this as a child from adults around me, both related and unrelated. Only teachers, the good ones of course, were emotionally available at all. No wonder I always look up to these individuals, and still do.
    On the extreme, this can also be subconsciously imparted by a caregiver(s) who is needy and insecure and will surely make another insecure adult out of you. Then, you are left holding that unwanted emotional baggage until you find a way to unburden yourself.

    • @AfroGothixa
      @AfroGothixa 8 місяців тому

      she came for my jugular w/ that one

  • @TuckRob
    @TuckRob 3 роки тому +203

    I would be interested in your thoughts on how this might be seen in relation to ADHD where experiencing difficulties in decision making (and a history of the consequences of bad decisions), inability to complete what we set out to achieve are compounded by emotional dysregulation and emotional impulsivity.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +33

      You can definitely develop some similar insecurities with the pattern of being an effective. Check out this video where I talk about ways ADHD can make you think about yourself. ua-cam.com/video/FF8gpsffwh0/v-deo.html

    • @Elvialuciana
      @Elvialuciana 3 роки тому +11

      YES! After I saw this, I really did think I fell under some of the criteria for DPD but since I also have ADD, I really don’t know if Its my ADD what’s keeping me so “dependant” or this new DPD thing I stumbled upon. :(

    • @mysticmiserly7732
      @mysticmiserly7732 3 роки тому +3

      Why are you speaking the same language as me ? The similarities oof

    • @ceterisparibus8966
      @ceterisparibus8966 Рік тому

      ​@@mysticmiserly7732 I think I know what you mean 😜😉

    • @kmcq692
      @kmcq692 11 місяців тому

      Cocktail of Circumstances. (Good band name?) Yeah. I probably have this and ADD inattentive type all my life. Time goes by and menopause makes it a real thing. Now what? I’m thinking I’ve gotta pull myself up by my brastraps. All I know is that I still have gumption in there somewhere.

  • @ChiyoRR
    @ChiyoRR 3 роки тому +94

    Oh man, this feels like a brick wall to the face. I wonder just how much of the disorder can be due to childhood neglect?

    • @ChinaRed05
      @ChinaRed05 3 роки тому +19

      Your childhood(parenting) has a lot to do with this

    • @thatonecatwiththetophat
      @thatonecatwiththetophat 3 роки тому +14

      Probably a lot, my dude. It really hurts to say that it's difficult to want to live on your own. I still have a hard time admitting it to family, ha.

    • @ChiyoRR
      @ChiyoRR 3 роки тому +13

      @@thatonecatwiththetophat Oh yeah, it took me about two years of therapy to finally be okay with moving away. I moved over 1,000 miles away at that.

    • @thatonecatwiththetophat
      @thatonecatwiththetophat 3 роки тому +6

      Hey, man, congratulations! I'm so glad to hear. :)

    • @ChiyoRR
      @ChiyoRR 3 роки тому +5

      @@thatonecatwiththetophat Thank you very much! ^_^

  • @martakomasko
    @martakomasko 2 роки тому +16

    Thank you. Being around many family members and people who wanted to dominate me and make me dependent on them, I have yet to work more again on personal responsibility and development. As in that unhealthy, unaccepting, arrogant, diminishing and disrespectful environment I developed because of that some tolerance and flexibility aka peace making and sacrificing myself to keep the peace going. Thank you for encouraging the autonomy and self development, independence and true support in that, not in co dependent, conditioned love.

  • @FeinLineMusic
    @FeinLineMusic 3 роки тому +56

    I simply cannot thank you enough for this. I needed it so. Thank you Dr. Marks.

    • @LaGrossePaulik
      @LaGrossePaulik 3 роки тому +3

      Clearly, thank you 🙏 not a lot of content about this very subject.

    • @FeinLineMusic
      @FeinLineMusic 3 роки тому +2

      @@LaGrossePaulik So true! To be honest, even after years of studying topics like this, I have never heard of it until today. Was beautifully articulated. Hopefully more content to come soon 🎹🙏🏻

    • @juanpedro4083
      @juanpedro4083 3 роки тому +1

      @@LaGrossePaulik today I saw a person totally out of his mind, probably the family does not know where that person is. what to do when we meet people in these conditions.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +2

      You all are welcome 👍🏽❤️

    • @theguyver4934
      @theguyver4934 3 роки тому

      @@DrTraceyMarks - I'm schizophrenic can meditation help

  • @saifulhaque5135
    @saifulhaque5135 3 роки тому +29

    By listening to her, it feels like I have every mental disease in a psychiatry book... I am sure you’ll find this kind of feeling is a mental disease itself.

  • @valsterhuera4460
    @valsterhuera4460 3 роки тому +33

    PLEASE MAKE A VIDEO ABOUT ANXIETY & PANIC AND THE FEAR OF GOING CRAZY. We want reassurance that Anxiety or panic does not make us go crazy. Thank you very much! ❤️❤️

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +4

      Scroll through my anxiety playlist. I have some videos talking about panic.

  • @abbilucious7186
    @abbilucious7186 3 роки тому +11

    I've been diagnosed with mixed personality disorder, dependant being one of them. I never thought I had many traits until watching this. It's given me such an insight into my thoughts by linking thoughts and behaviours I've had recently to what was said here. I don't know what autonomy means but when my social worker recently said to me about seeing an improvement in my mental health, it sent me into complete panic mode that she was going to discharge me. It actually stops me from wanting to get better because health professionals will leave me

    • @Sunbearish
      @Sunbearish Рік тому +3

      autonomy - freedom from external control or influence; independence:

  • @JigglyCox
    @JigglyCox 3 роки тому +7

    We recently had a patient who committed suicide after struggling with this disorder - he was really sweet and called 50+ times a day. I'm only admin so it is good to understand what our patients are dealing with - thank you for such a clear breakdown

  • @tashiekaking
    @tashiekaking 3 роки тому +41

    I am the opposite of dependent. Not being independent, not feeling like I have total control of my life is frightening to the bone.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +17

      There’s probably a lot of people who can relate to those fears

    • @a.k.4085
      @a.k.4085 3 роки тому +4

      @Tashieka king.
      Same.
      I wouldn't be able to be around a dependent and needy, clingy person for long at all.

    • @tashiekaking
      @tashiekaking 3 роки тому +3

      @@a.k.4085 honestly I tend to be a round needy people alot. I don't know why but somehow they always seem to find me

    • @tashiekaking
      @tashiekaking 3 роки тому +5

      @@MariaRose_88 honestly, I started realising that growing up I always wanted my parents to really see me and acknowledged me. Then, now I think that has alot with me attracting needy people. Maybe, I’m afraid of feeling abandon as I usually felt growing up,

    • @tashiekaking
      @tashiekaking 3 роки тому +1

      @@MariaRose_88 True, thank you

  • @sherrytaylor3738
    @sherrytaylor3738 3 роки тому +8

    This is my mom. A lot of her behaviours make sense now. Thank you Dr. Marks!

    • @juanpedro4083
      @juanpedro4083 3 роки тому

      today I saw a person totally out of his mind, probably the family does not know where that person is. what to do when we meet people in these conditions.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +1

      Thanks a lot Sherry.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +1

      @Pedro if you know them personally then try and get them into treatment with someone. That may involve taking them to the hospital for an evaluation.

    • @juanpedro4083
      @juanpedro4083 3 роки тому

      @@DrTraceyMarks I don't know him

  • @I_Stay_4_SKZ
    @I_Stay_4_SKZ 3 роки тому +6

    Idk y I’ve never connected the fears of extreme separation anxiety I got as a child to the obsession over being abandoned now as an adult.
    I mean I didn’t even remember that I used to have those fears & memories of certain moments that I had long ago blocked out along with the rest of my childhood are vaguely familiar but they’re still very fuzzy memories ATM.....
    But wow how insane to be watching a video on YT & hearing her mentioning something triggered me to unblocked memory....
    oh boys this explains A LOT

  • @jamesharris3493
    @jamesharris3493 3 роки тому +10

    Dr. Marks, you’re a remarkable lady. I enjoy watching your videos because, it makes me more assure of myself and helps me decide what I should do next. Thank you once again for being there for me when nobody else cares.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +1

      Oh James you’re so welcome. It’s an honor to be here and i’m so glad you’re benefiting. 👍🏽😊

  • @marinalodi6313
    @marinalodi6313 2 роки тому +2

    I'm 25 and after much struggle, living with anxiety all my life and developing depression when I was 19 (while I was suffering with starting my first healthy relationship) I got diagnosed with dependent disorder. This year I had two relapses of depression because of relationships that didn't go foward, and separation anxiety was the worst. As now I know how and why I suffer so much in this matters, things didn't got easier, but less scary, and your video made a perfect summary of the simptoms. I hope it helps people like to recover from difficult situations and work on their autonomy and self-esteem, cause we might thing we need someone, but all we needis to love and help oursevels, in making a much lighter and healthier life!

  • @jamienglish7092
    @jamienglish7092 3 роки тому +2

    Dr. Marks.
    You have been an awesome help for me.
    I recently overcame panic attack which has been with me for 20 years.
    You are a true psychologist.
    Because of you, I can now live a better life.
    Thank you so much for your informative footages which helped me understand intagible mental world.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому

      I’m so happy to hear this! Understanding is exactly what I want you to get out of these videos!

  • @garbageplate
    @garbageplate 3 роки тому +3

    Was trying to put this into words yesterday and here I have been coincidentally blessed. Thank you.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +2

      You’re welcome. It was great timing then

  • @circlesevendivination4928
    @circlesevendivination4928 3 роки тому +5

    thank you for having very understandable an unbiased content. this is great for helping me discern different forms of the mind

  • @olafelsberry420
    @olafelsberry420 Рік тому

    This is why I appreciate my Grandpa, he taught me all these things I no longer care that it scares the shit outta me.

  • @buckwheat_flower
    @buckwheat_flower 3 роки тому +8

    the fact i was just thinking about this and didn't even use any keyboard search before it was recommended

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +3

      Hmmm...Sounds like UA-cam knows you’re a little too well

    • @buckwheat_flower
      @buckwheat_flower 3 роки тому

      @@DrTraceyMarks anyways. You are a treasure 🥺💗 please keep up the good work💗

  • @reinejeanne69
    @reinejeanne69 Рік тому

    I have a condition that makes my muscles weaker and weaker over time, my parents have always been there for me. They took me out with my friends, to after school activities, everywhere. I am still a teenager and I have a lot of the symptoms a person with DPD would have. This video helped to understand myself better and it gave me hope to seek out therapy and work on myself. Thank you Dr. Marks!

  • @VotEtoPizdets
    @VotEtoPizdets Рік тому

    This video helped tremendously. I wasn't aware that this category existed and I was under the impression that these symptoms were just a scattered and arbitrary group of issues. This helps narrow the search. But, the combination of all of your videos has shown me that I cannot do this on my own and has inspired me to finally seek professional help again. I've been worried because the last two psychologists had crossed the professional line and caused even more issues for me than I had before seeking help. This left my trying to go at this alone for nearly 5 years and it's not doable. Thank you for your life saving videos.

  • @dc4l923
    @dc4l923 Рік тому +7

    I just turned 30 and I heard of “DPD” while watching one of my true crime channels on UA-cam and thought “hm what’s this?” Looked it up and thought “well shit.” it’s crazy cuz lately I’ve been working on not always agreeing with anything anybody says. I’ve actually been disagreeing more cuz I’ve always just agreed with people with anything they said even if I didn’t hear them. I’m always asking people for advice to get that reassurance cuz I don’t have the self confidence built up yet. I’m the youngest out of 4 siblings growing up and my parents got divorced when I was 10. My dad moved away and my mom was a drug addict and never really took good care of us although we lived with her. I remember on school nights I’d be up crying while everybody else would be asleep. I always felt MAJOR homesick whenever I’d go to school one day in 4th grade I even walked out and went home I felt so homesick. I’ve been in 2 serious relationships in the past 7 years and at the time the thought of breaking up was literally impossible for me to grasp. Being a man it was pretty embarrassing the way I had acted. I’ve been alone for several months now so being alone isn’t a huge problem for me. I work 60 hour weeks so my job keeps my mind occupied. Now that I know what this is, this is definitely gonna change my perspective from here on out. Take my symptoms and pin point what I need to work on and how I’m gonna do it! Thanks.

  • @KarlSnarks
    @KarlSnarks 3 роки тому +6

    I don't really have the other symptoms, but I definitely recognize the part about feeling unable to start new projects on my own, and needing reassurance a lot (though not for the really small things)

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +4

      Some people just need more reassurance without it being a problem for them.

    • @derciafernando1905
      @derciafernando1905 3 роки тому +1

      I have the same issue but I love being independent but I take too long to start a project because my parents are the same but at least I have started a few fearful and I was successful

    • @KarlSnarks
      @KarlSnarks 3 роки тому

      @@DrTraceyMarks It has definitely limited me in things, but I don't think I have DPD :)

    • @KarlSnarks
      @KarlSnarks 3 роки тому

      @@derciafernando1905 Good to hear your pursuits were successful and you mastered your fear 😊👍

  • @tmsphere
    @tmsphere 3 роки тому +14

    I feel like i have a strong reliance on a person but that reliance is almost entirely emotional. Like they're part of me, i can live w\o them but emotionally its gonna eat at me. I know its unhrlealthy but fear of losing that person are strong to the point of trauma.

    • @sapphirepokemonfan
      @sapphirepokemonfan 3 роки тому +2

      dont worry that will lessen 💗It did for me. Feel your emotions and reparent yourself

  • @justinebourke9449
    @justinebourke9449 2 роки тому +8

    I need to see a video on having this disorder and coping with being on your own. I have nobody at all since my partner left and I am chronically suicidal. It's been months and I'm staying with a family member but he doesn't understand, we were never close and I can barely look after myself. Every minute of every day is tormented. I'm just stuck in my bed feeling incredible anxiety and emotional pain and loneliness. I can't take another day

    • @pfuiteufel1385
      @pfuiteufel1385 Рік тому +2

      I feel deeply sorry for you and can relate to a huge extend, there's a reason I'm getting informed about this specific disorder. Please seek psychiatric help. You and I need to work on us and we should not give up. There is light in the darkness, even though it currently doesn't feel like it. Sorry for the flat phrase, yet I mean it so. Only the best of luck, friend.

    • @justinebourke9449
      @justinebourke9449 Рік тому +3

      @@pfuiteufel1385 oh thankyou so much. I feel for you because it's seems you're suffering similarly. I do have a psychiatrist although I see different ones from a team and I don't like or trust any of them. I know they have diagnosed me incorrectly for a start. They decided I have borderline pd after only a quick interview and questionnaire and they refuse to discuss any other conclusion. They know very little about me really. And all they can offer are drugs that make me feel worse. They don't relieve the out of control anxiety and crushing despair. I've been tried on so many different antidepressants that never worked and some made my anxiety much worse. Antipsychotics too which do not agree with me at all. I need psychological help and a good friend or two. It's complicated ofcourse.
      I hope you are getting good help and support? I'm trying to familiarise myself with the bible and I'm really struggling with it..... anything for comfort . Sorry for the whinge. Thanks again for your message. God bless you.

  • @BBFCCO733
    @BBFCCO733 Рік тому +2

    I resonate with some of this. I have BPD traits along with a slew of co-morbid disorders. I used to strive for autonomy but gave it up and collapsed after years of my narc father sabotaging me. I fear if I become independent, I will lose my current family then not know how to function beyond that.

  • @shubhigupta2553
    @shubhigupta2553 3 роки тому +1

    U did a great video on how to stop fearing failure !!! Pls do a video on how to stop fearing about your health

  • @UN33kWabb1T
    @UN33kWabb1T 3 роки тому +6

    This in no way describes me at all! I am extremely independent and prefer being alone. Being with others drains all my strength and leaves me exhausted.

    • @Hanapetals
      @Hanapetals 3 роки тому +2

      I’m kind of like this! Except being with ppl when I have to act social and happy and stuff is exhausting too so I only like being around my partner who likes me for who I am, even if it’s a needy child sometimes lol 🥰

  • @Nishimiya_Bojji
    @Nishimiya_Bojji Рік тому

    Hi Dr. Tracey, I am learning a lot about myself just by listening to your videos! Thanks a lot for them!

  • @a_mourning_dove
    @a_mourning_dove 3 роки тому +1

    This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. My feelings have been put into concrete words. Thank you so much. 💜

  • @amanitaocreata4401
    @amanitaocreata4401 3 роки тому +1

    Ah.... my 2nd favorite psychologist on UA-cam..... my first favorite being Jordan Peterson, though he doesn't always discuss psychology

  • @annamoulton7087
    @annamoulton7087 3 роки тому +1

    Hey, I wanted to say thank you for doing what you do. I was diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder quite a while ago and never understood why. The one video about the difference between BPD and bipolar disorder really helped me understand the "why". I hope you decide to do a more indepth video about it sometime, I already feel like i know myself better....it was a 10 min video! You changed my outlook in the span of 10 min. Thank you!
    I am very glad I came across your channel! You have so much helpful information, generally speaking. I look forward to any new stuff you put up ☺

  • @olive_99
    @olive_99 3 роки тому +1

    I’m currently in the process of seeking a diagnosis for a genetic disorder that I have an extremely high chance of having. Other than the fact that I show basically every symptom i have also had enough medical test to rule everything else out that it could be and I’m only 22. My body has felt like it has been betraying me my entire life, and I’ve had enough medical trauma in the short time I’ve been alive the most people will ever experience. And the worst part is it for so long it was just this unanswered question of not knowing what’s wrong with me and why I feel so bad all the time. I’ve had a very hard time in the last year trying to understand why my insecurity Towards myself as a whole and my ability to survive on my own runs so deep. As I finish that last sentence it finally made me connect the unexplainable dread I had as a child when thinking about the fact that I would have to grow up and I would not be able to depend on my parents anymore, and I would half to take care of myself. It was never out of laziness, or feelings of apathy. It was truly a dread of not knowing how I will be able to maintain the skills to survive on my own. I genuinely mean this with my whole heart that I have never been able to understand these feelings until the second. Thank you. From the very core of me thank you for giving me something that explains the feelings that have never fit under the description of anything else. Of course I need to Bring this up with the doctor and have them evaluate me, but I truly can’t explain to you just how much I’ve been trying to find something, anything, that really describes what I’ve experienced my whole life without missing major symptoms. I’m trying to get into therapy, but I think I was so reluctant because I’ve searched for so long with nothing that seems to fit me. Seeing this video makes me feel like for once there might be an answer that’s actually correct for me.

  • @MeowMeow-sy2mi
    @MeowMeow-sy2mi 3 роки тому +7

    My trauma makes me exhibit all of these traits. But I have a lot of traits of other personality disorders too so my psychiatrist just said complex ptsd with personality disordered traits 😂 way easier than diagnosing me with 4 personality disorders.

    • @addysaw
      @addysaw 3 роки тому +3

      Hehe I had a similar diagnosis. In simpler words: a basketcase 🤣

  • @davidprocell8138
    @davidprocell8138 3 роки тому +37

    This video is all about me! I didn’t even have this on my radar. I got a divorce two years ago and I can’t move on because my spouse told me what to do and dominated our relationship. When he left me and I was alone I couldn’t handle it it’s taken me two years to be able to work again. Is there treatment for this and what is it?!

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +18

      I’m sorry that break up was such a setback for you. The treatment would be therapy, particularly therapy around assertiveness training and boundaries.

    • @MH-rv3tf
      @MH-rv3tf 3 роки тому

      So soft 😂

    • @carolinewoolgar6457
      @carolinewoolgar6457 2 роки тому +1

      I’m in the same place.
      Will you do a video, outline the basic steps to get started?

  • @andrzejmaranda3699
    @andrzejmaranda3699 2 роки тому

    Dr. Tracey Marks: THANK YOU SOO MUCH for this video! It's SOOO IMPORTANT for me!

  • @chickenbiscuit4525
    @chickenbiscuit4525 Рік тому +1

    Plus they more often than not seem or assume to be perfectly harmless people.

    • @chriserony
      @chriserony 5 місяців тому

      They generally are harmless people. It's self-sacrificing behavior but can get very exhausting for the person they cling to.

  • @bobbrian1641
    @bobbrian1641 3 роки тому

    This lady is a genius

  • @Shirden
    @Shirden 3 роки тому +2

    It's really great that you create these videos to promote awareness . . . it would be ideal if you would share more about overcoming our past conditioning that plagues us with these disorders . . . mainly co-dependency because that's at the core of all of the disorders from the DSM V

  • @kathleenjohnson8774
    @kathleenjohnson8774 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for making this video. I have a friend who is going through this, and her husband and I didn't know how to talk to her doctor. This was the video we needed. Thank you again ❤️

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому

      You’re so welcome Kathleen. I’m glad this helped you wrap your mind around what she’s going through.

  • @DieezahArts
    @DieezahArts 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for that illuminating video... Having had both separation trauma (and the anxiety that comes from it is still there) as well as a set of chronic illnesses affecting various parts of my body (including asthma) I was expecting to find your list a terrifying revelation but apparently I don't have all the traits. I'm always eager to learn new skills and I learned a lot of what I know on my own. I am not scared of initiating projects and I don't seek people's validation in most situations. I seem to be shifting from enjoying being alone (I'm socially awkward, don't like being around people) to feeling like I can't make it without someone to take care of me. The thing that hit me in your list was the part about being very pessimistic. That's totally me. I guess that's not enough to say I have this particular disorder but it's still very eye-opening...

  • @theprousteffect9717
    @theprousteffect9717 3 роки тому +25

    Would you mind making a video devoted to lack of self-efficacy?

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +7

      That’s an intriguing topic. Thanks for the suggestion I have saved it to my list

  • @ytb8361
    @ytb8361 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much. My bad abusive, incompetent therapist caused me to have this disorder by corrupting my thoughts, and using ocd, mental control techniques against me. Brilliant video.

    • @ytb8361
      @ytb8361 3 роки тому +1

      That bad, abusive, incompetent therapist and others caused me avoidant personality disorder thoughts, adhd and add inattentive executive skills dysfunction, agoraphobia, mistrust of everyone, too much trust, mental breakdown and a much worse social anxiety, naïveté, obsessive compulsive disorder, psychosis and trauma.

    • @ytb8361
      @ytb8361 3 роки тому +1

      In addition to causing me codependency, no confidence, psychotic delusions of grandeur, magical thinking, obsessions about suicide, death and no self-efficacy. No therapy is much better than bad, abusive therapy. Good therapy is great though.

    • @ytb8361
      @ytb8361 3 роки тому +1

      This video comes at the right time.

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +2

      I’m glad. I hope you recover from that experience soon

  • @msdesiraecannonministerfor6921
    @msdesiraecannonministerfor6921 10 місяців тому

    I appreciate your commentary on mental health criss.

  • @JoshNFam
    @JoshNFam 3 роки тому +1

    Doc Tracey has a beautiful personality 🤩❤️💕💕💕💕

  • @Flo-cy4xc
    @Flo-cy4xc 3 роки тому

    Incredible that this videpo just came out, I got diagnosed with avoidant and dependant personnality disorder juste a few days ago !!

  • @variety927
    @variety927 Рік тому

    This is so helpful, thank you. Was diagnosed last year and this has helped clarify things I struggle with.

  • @allenhecker
    @allenhecker 3 роки тому +4

    Thanks for doing a video on this topic.

  • @ciarajca25
    @ciarajca25 3 роки тому +7

    Can you do a video on how to manage being in friendship/relationship with someone living with this disorder?

  • @sayusayme7729
    @sayusayme7729 3 роки тому +1

    Wow, thank you so much. So many questions answered. Grateful Doc. ☯️

  • @lolatJESS
    @lolatJESS 2 роки тому +2

    The narcissist's favorite person to find and manipulate. :(

  • @alberttibbets6567
    @alberttibbets6567 Рік тому

    "For the person with dependent personality disorder, independence and autonomy are frightening to the bone."
    So if I understand this, one could be smart and competent but fear these very traits because they could lead to rejection and isolation. One would be desperate to suppress and deny one's abilities and accomplishments.
    Funny how life and seem so chaotic, and so bewildering. And then Dr. Marks describes it and explains it in a few, easy to follow paragraphs.
    And I have to re-watch this video several times, and take notes and sit and think about the meaning of all this.

  • @destinyroney4031
    @destinyroney4031 3 роки тому

    There's just so much about how our own minds can be our worst enemy that I just don't know about. Another great UA-cam video on this subject is The Mess on Planet Classroom Network. Summary: A multi-faceted take on one woman’s experiences with bipolar disorder.

  • @crmelly
    @crmelly 2 роки тому +1

    I was diagnosed three months ago with Borderline personality disorder with antisocial, histrionic, and dependent personality disorder traits and I also have ADHD and NVLD so I have intense emotional sensitivity, separation anxiety, and relationship problems. I struggle starting relationships with people because of my poor social skills from my NVLD and ADHD, but as soon as I get attached, my dpd and bpd symptoms make me very clingy towards one specific person for a long period of time until the relationship ends or until I move on. My hpd symptoms make me interpret relationships closer than I think they really are and when I’m attracted to a person, I may act promiscuous with them as well to initiate intimacy so I can create a closer bond with them. Sometimes I don’t realize I’m always doing this because I think the relationship is closer than it is and this causes the person to separate from me which makes me feel a lot of distress. My aspd symptoms also makes me callous so sometimes I don’t realize the full extent of my actions may have on another person, because you feel detached from understanding how it feels since you already feel chronically emotionally numb. It is very difficult to have a personality disorder with mixed personality disorder traits because it makes having fulfilling relationships difficult when that’s all you want. It makes you feel like you’re a bad person even though you’re trying not to be because everything you’re doing are behaviors that you’ve been maladapted to. It make you feels like a burden for being genetically dispositioned, inconsistently socialized, and traumatized growing up for behaviors that you can’t always control. People forget that when you are putting down people with personality disorders, you are also putting down abuse victims, and that everyone fails to acknowledge what’s happened to a person and instead see what’s wrong with them. People shouldn’t be demonized for having behavioral health disorders and they deserve to receive the help they need.

  • @khalida02
    @khalida02 Рік тому

    With a lot of respect, this was everything I read on WebMD. I was hoping for more tangible solutions based on your video title.

  • @madeofmeat9961
    @madeofmeat9961 3 роки тому +6

    A bit off topic, but I'd love to see a video for dealing with severe anger issues after a traumatic brain injury.

  • @cherp5837
    @cherp5837 Рік тому

    I haven’t taken a promotion out of will for over 10 yrs only because i feel unworthy and i don’t trust myself and ifear to have lead anyone or work on projects
    I would rather be a follower take instructions and work in the shelter of competent individuals
    I’ll change this soon😊

  • @Inessa77
    @Inessa77 3 роки тому +1

    Another amazingly clear explanation, this time of DPD, thank you 🙏🏻

  • @purplegemcrazyroyal5247
    @purplegemcrazyroyal5247 3 роки тому +2

    You just described my life!😔

  • @Onlinesully
    @Onlinesully 3 роки тому

    i had a little bit but this came over me when I had a physical and mental breakdown

  • @Bhappi137
    @Bhappi137 3 роки тому

    Bang on again with this Dr Tracey

  • @shantelelewellen2788
    @shantelelewellen2788 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you for this content. I have ADD, yet you just explained very similar behaviors. I unfortunately check off all the boxes for this disorder. Could you make a video on ways to improve and what to do about it?

  • @kfarrahi8749
    @kfarrahi8749 3 роки тому +1

    Dr. Marks, I do not mean this in any way that is disrespectful. With mental health, there are many stereotypes as it is, and words like dependent, insecurity, rely, fearful, anxious, impulsive, loneliness, and so many others make a hard topic even harder to digest. First of which, all these words are subjective. What may be impulsive to someone may not be impulsive to another. What may be act of dependency to one may be partnership to another. I did not click on any of your videos, these are just words from your video titles. We should never define ourselves by these words.

  • @SonnalPardiwala
    @SonnalPardiwala 3 роки тому

    I have been following your updates and they are so informative.

  • @melodyrogers8839
    @melodyrogers8839 3 роки тому

    Hi it's me Melody.. woohoo I don't have this! I have a new therapist and she's going to help me with E MDR therapy. I'm really excited about it. Thanks for your videos. Be safe

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому

      Yay something you don’t have 😊 it’s awesome you’re going to get EMDR. All the best to you.

  • @stopmotionmoron2373
    @stopmotionmoron2373 3 роки тому

    I think I've finally found out what's been wrong with me all these years

  • @tashajones2255
    @tashajones2255 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you, Dr. Tracy!

  • @gaurs230
    @gaurs230 Рік тому

    My father was a narcissist too, honestly he was always absent emotionally

  • @heathercruz2739
    @heathercruz2739 3 роки тому +2

    I've never drove and people push me to drive .. I have flashback of my grandfather telling me to take the wheel and him putting me on his lap and having his way with me ... and i blank and freak out and never drive right. To the point I just stop. One time I did it on the highway and almost got hit... I want to drive but I cry trying to even drive

    • @ilened2219
      @ilened2219 3 роки тому +1

      There is treatment for this. Probably EMDR, and then ExRP.
      So sorry you had these traumatic experiences!

  • @jacobtosh5456
    @jacobtosh5456 2 роки тому +1

    I really appreciate this video.

  • @chriserony
    @chriserony 5 місяців тому

    I had this disorder as a teenager, but I dont think I've healed from it in the right way. It has been a long time since I needed daily reassurance, but I need reassurance for large decisions. I will feel uncertain about a job or school choice for years. I've also gone the opposite direction and become overly independent and distant, scared to make close relationships because I know I will get lost in the dependance again. (Its like getting drunk) I'm in my early 30s and not sure where to go with it from here, but Im very depressed and most therapists really didn't understand.

  • @khambrelmathis6101
    @khambrelmathis6101 2 роки тому +4

    What advice do you have for people that deal with these personalities

  • @californiadreaming6560
    @californiadreaming6560 3 роки тому +3

    Thank you,

  • @a.k.4085
    @a.k.4085 3 роки тому

    Thank you. Excellent video as always. I am probably about 180 degrees opposite of this Personality disorder. 🙃😊👍

  • @mmohseni69
    @mmohseni69 6 місяців тому

    Oh my God 😭 thank you Dr for what you do🙏

  • @johnhollandjr.2632
    @johnhollandjr.2632 3 роки тому

    G’morning, Dr. Tracey Marks!

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому

      Good morning to you John. It’s evening now though 😊

  • @gaurs230
    @gaurs230 Рік тому

    Never had an emotionally caring or loving father he was always abusive and always felt und

  • @haisesasaki3944
    @haisesasaki3944 3 роки тому

    Looking forward to NPD.
    Thank you, Dr. Marks. ❤️

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  3 роки тому +1

      Have you noticed that’s the only one I have not done yet? You’re holding me to it...😊

  • @thatonecatwiththetophat
    @thatonecatwiththetophat 3 роки тому

    Man, I thought I was being a baby and I needed to get over it. I didn't realize this was actually a personality disorder. I would still like to fix it, but still.

  • @symoneb382
    @symoneb382 3 роки тому +1

    This is 100% me unfortunately

  • @davemckay4359
    @davemckay4359 3 роки тому +1

    I used to get panic attack 😂. Now I don't think so much.

  • @hiddengemz955
    @hiddengemz955 3 роки тому +1

    I feel like you know my life

  • @figsandhoneyblog
    @figsandhoneyblog 2 роки тому +2

    how do I go about breaking this cycle and mindset?

  • @yelortiz
    @yelortiz 3 роки тому +2

    Thank you!

  • @violetlove1893
    @violetlove1893 3 роки тому +3

    Dr. Marks, thank you for this informative video. I used to be dependent in my early 20s until I got to my late 30s.. then I switched to being alone and liking it. Is it normal to NEED someone there all the time to being much better on your own? I used to allow childish men to mistreat me just so I wouldn't be alone. And when I got to my late 30s I preferred being alone than having to deal with the annoying everyday misunderstandings, constant berating, depressing episodes. I would like to have friends but if they start to depend on me, I feel suffocated.. now I have no friends, no significant other, and I'm comfortable. I'd like to have friendship and companionship but after about 3 to 6 months of the person relying on me, I feel smothered. Does this mean I've gone from one cluster to another? Is that possible?
    I can't express how much I learn from you on these videos. You are underrated.

    • @addysaw
      @addysaw 3 роки тому +2

      Isolation sounds horrible! It sounds more like your past acquaintances were shitty ones to be honest 🤷🏼‍♀️

    • @violetlove1893
      @violetlove1893 3 роки тому +1

      @@addysaw my past friendships and romantic relationships we're not nice. I am a guy's girl so my female friends (when I had them) were always trying to hook up with guys, talking about their hair and make up. And I'm a tomboy so that was annoying to me. I like joking around, watching and learning about different subjects, talking about REAL issues and helping ppl. I don't have guy friends anymore because their gfs didn't like me. As for the guys I dated, they were interested in sex sex and more sex. I was raped by different men and can't just have sex. I want to know someone, be best friends, and be comfortable around that person. I want to marry someone that I can trust with my life. But I haven't met him yet and I've stopped looking.

    • @addysaw
      @addysaw 3 роки тому

      @@violetlove1893 completely understandable. So what do you do to enjoy time by yourself, if everyone around is unfortunately not interesting?

    • @violetlove1893
      @violetlove1893 3 роки тому +1

      @@addysaw I write poetry, read, watch shows about animals, love music, do abstract art, encourage other ppl on youtube, pray, defend anyone being bullied, and research topics that pop in my head. What do you do?

    • @addysaw
      @addysaw 3 роки тому +1

      @@violetlove1893 I try to spend as much time as I could with people, but unfortunately they bore me completely.
      So I spend time learning new information through books and...UA-cam! 😁😁
      Otherwise I enjoy making money at work, as superficial as that sounds

  • @davidk.7264
    @davidk.7264 3 роки тому +1

    I had no idea, thanks.

  • @gigievans395
    @gigievans395 3 роки тому

    I live with a family member like this.....and I am NOT this personality. I prefer to be alone and independent :(

  • @t.bo.6495
    @t.bo.6495 3 роки тому

    Beautiful doctor..

  • @shakarmehdili4706
    @shakarmehdili4706 Рік тому

    I learnt something new.

  • @lindsaymosher4667
    @lindsaymosher4667 3 роки тому

    Oh man, this sounds an awful lot like me.
    I have been doing better this last year but I still seem to fit. It’s too bad that mental health isn’t a priority in Mississippi.

  • @TheCrimeShack
    @TheCrimeShack 2 роки тому

    Have a relative like this. She was married to a very controlling man, but her father was also an authoritarian parent. When her husband died (who made ALL the decisions in her life) she was lost. She has crippling anxiety but also seems like she’s stuck mentally as a teenager. She lacks basic world knowledge and common sense, would have anxiety over simply making a phone like to AT&T and acts strange, like she repeats things that she’s read or heard others say because she doesn’t know how to communicate normally or thinks her own words aren’t the right thing to say. She wants to get therapy - I’ve heard that cognitive therapists are the best for this but not sure.