Finnish Dating is Shockingly Different to American #03

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  • Опубліковано 6 тра 2024
  • I used Streamyard to create this Podcast. Streamyard is an incredibly easy to use platform for beginners. Try it for FREE today: streamyard.com/?fpr=beyondbor...
    This week, I sit down with Varpu from "Her Finland" to chat Finnish concept of happiness. Are Finns really one of the happiest countries in the world? And how are their values different from those of Americans? Varpu and I also chat Finnish communication, making friends and of course the Finnish dating scene.
    Check out Varpu's channel: / her_finland
    Each week I will interview guests from all around the world on the topics of culture, connection and of course, dating. The goal is to go as deep as possible and to really understand where we all come from and how much culture influences our life.
    Want to join the mailing list? www.dating-beyond-borders.com
    Say hi on Instagram: / datingbeyondborders
    Dating Beyond Borders channel: / datingbeyondborders
    0:00 Intro
    4:00 Is Finland really the "happiest" country?
    8:42 How tough are winters in Finland?
    11:26 The Finnish sauna culture
    14:38 What would shock a foreigner in Finland?
    18:30 Communication: North America vs Finland
    21:40 How to make friends in Finland
    30:46 How do Finns typically go about their day?
    30:56 How is the dating scene in Finland?
    41:15 What are Finnish men like?
    53:00 S*x culture in Finland vs North America
    1:00:00 Teaching s*x ed to your child in Finland
    1:05:17 Nudity scene in Finland
  • Розваги

КОМЕНТАРІ • 188

  • @captaincarl1603
    @captaincarl1603 3 місяці тому +35

    On the spot! As a Swedish filmmaker I had a lunch-meeting with a Finnish producer, hoping to land a job.
    I was talking pretty much the entire meeting, and when I stopped it was quiet, and the Finn looked stern.
    After the meeting I felt like a total failure, a babbling clown, I would never get this job.
    The next week the Finnish producer called me and said" What a great meeting we had last week, lets do this film together" 🤣🤣🤣

  • @user-zy1vp2sw9c
    @user-zy1vp2sw9c 6 місяців тому +48

    I am Estonian. I would like to say that things like avoiding eye-contact with strangers and not saying Hi to random people has nothing to do with being afraid of people. It is just considered polite to leave other people their space, both literally and methaphorically. We are the same in Estonia. And in a public place, like a bus., which was half empty, someone sat in a seat near me and sai Hi, would be considered superweird, even rude. It is about respecting people"s privacy.

    • @thedailygreatness
      @thedailygreatness 3 місяці тому +3

      Yeah, it's an interesting cultural difference. It reminds me of Japanese culture and habits. We Americans are generally more direct, outspoken and don't view strangers as "strangers", especially in the South.

    • @Youtube_Stole_My_Handle_Too
      @Youtube_Stole_My_Handle_Too Місяць тому

      Politeness is certainly not the motivation in Finland, or any Nordic country for that matter, for avoiding eye contact on the street. I dare say it cannot be deemed so in Estonia either, albeit my understanding of human behavior rather than direct acquaintance with Estonian customs. The primary motivation lies in evading the hollow sensation ensuing from superficial exchanges. This inclination appears to hold true for humanity at large. A pronounced emphasis on social interaction is the exception rather than the norm. The Nordic societies exhibit a notable absence of such indoctrination. It is not a matter of what the Nordic countries have more but less. We have less disingenuous behavior. A conversation owes to mean something for it to take place.

    • @TechnoAssassin-vx6zf
      @TechnoAssassin-vx6zf Місяць тому

      how do you meet people then…?????

    • @_sam29
      @_sam29 Місяць тому

      ​@@TechnoAssassin-vx6zfIn a workplace, at school, institute, university, in a bar maybe, and possibly neighbors, but it's uncommon to just start talking to random people in the street

  • @ArcticCoder
    @ArcticCoder 6 місяців тому +46

    If you want to know what makes Finland “happy” you need to look at those societal factors that are present in the comparison. It boils down to a project called Finland as a nation, identity, and borders. This frees people to appreciate things in life because the nation project takes a lot of negatives off the table. You get to level up in the game of life for simple reasons because you will always have a home, food, and basic life guarantees. Your stress level is lower.

  • @tomjensen618
    @tomjensen618 7 місяців тому +34

    The secret of the Nordics is that they love Winter. When winter is 2/3 of the year, you learn to appreciate its simple raw honest quality. Warm weather natives have a hard time with the cold. Not so with Northerners. They have dealt with it from childhood and all have great memories of snowy fun days.

    • @mikrokupu
      @mikrokupu 6 місяців тому +3

      I don't mind cold and snow, but to break the winter darkness I love to take a short break in a sunny climate, like so many here in the north. The Nordics like to escape the winter especially to the Spanish Canary Islands or Thailand. In Andalusia there is a small town called Fuengirola, where Finns have a "winter colony". Both old and young, there's a Finnish school as well. Maybe I'll find myself there one day, warming my old bones :)

    • @airborneranger-ret
      @airborneranger-ret 6 місяців тому +2

      "The secret of the Nordics is that they love Winter. " - ummm .... perhaps a bit over the top? ;)

    • @tomjensen618
      @tomjensen618 6 місяців тому +5

      No tourists, just an honest grey frost on the land day with a fresh breeze in your face and a warm fire in the evening. Yes, we love that indeed.

  • @AnimalsAreCute101
    @AnimalsAreCute101 Місяць тому +6

    This video is so validating. My mom was a Finnish immigrant to the US, so she and her parents (obviously also Finnish) helped raise me over in the US. Other than my immediate family, I never really had any other Finnish friends or community, so I had no way of knowing how much of my behavior was cultural vs. my individual personality. I'm realizing that many of my behaviors that I thought were from some kind of neurodivergence are actually cultural differences that are considered "weird" in the US. I'm not saying neurodivergence is bad, it's just helpful having an opportunity now to more fully understand and appreciate the culture I was raised in at home. Thank you for the video!

  • @raunorepomies8621
    @raunorepomies8621 6 місяців тому +32

    People don't seem to understand, that this "happiness" index has nothing to do with peoples feelings. 🤡🤡🤡

  • @deezed6478
    @deezed6478 6 місяців тому +13

    Well the reality is that a lot of men do only date for sex and the only way to know he's genuinely into you and would take care of you and your baby if you got pregnant is by allowing him to prove it first, instead of sleeping with him too soon and then hoping for the best.

    • @johannalehtonen9590
      @johannalehtonen9590 2 місяці тому +6

      Don't know about other places, but at least here in Finland there's lots of women that date men only for sex... Maybe it has something to do with our appreciation of honesty in general, that having sex isn't some power play between genders but something fun for both. If there's more between these two people, they'll might end up being only with each others, maybe rest of their lives. And that's nice, and if they don't see again, that's fine too. There's no play book or rules for that, here it still is (as it should be) just human behaviour... which is random. Not a game. (From very young we are taught about prevention, there's no tabu in that either so there's plenty of ways to have sex and not to get pregnant.)

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 2 місяці тому

      How about marrying him first

  • @onclouds3069
    @onclouds3069 22 дні тому +2

    I moved to Sweden two years ago and for me it's the same with early spring. With low energy levels after a long winter, I'm longing for warm weather, but it's still cold in March/April and the sunlight is harsh. But when the first warm days arrive, it's an incredible feeling of pure joy and everybody is just happy. :)

  • @paul_domici
    @paul_domici 6 місяців тому +12

    Happiness is really a state of mind! I think everyone has a different idea of what happiness is!

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 2 місяці тому +1

      Yes, I think their happiness might come from having their basic needs met systematically?. Unlike the U.S, where you have to work hard just to have your basic needs met

    • @paul_domici
      @paul_domici 2 місяці тому

      Depends on your job! I don't work hard and I'm very happy!!! @@purplelove3666

  • @Sammi_Kristiansen
    @Sammi_Kristiansen 7 місяців тому +12

    I like that Varpu is so excited and smiley when she talks about her kids!
    Varpu wears a ring. Of course she's married to her soul mate. Congrats!
    I'm glad that Varpu has kids with her current husband but not her ex. Life would be so much easier!

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      It's just too bad she has the name "Varpu" but maybe that is just my English self talkin

    • @Veruska75
      @Veruska75 9 днів тому +1

      @@jsigur157Varpu is a small bird❤️

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 9 днів тому

      @@Veruska75 Good to know! Thankyou!

  • @marijehkinen4650
    @marijehkinen4650 15 днів тому +1

    I think in Northern America you might ask someone to go out on a coffee/drink to see if you'd like that person. It might be that you end up having just a friendly drink. In Finland, if you ask someone out, there is already the feeling that I like this person. So asking someone out is already telling them that you're interested in them romanticly. That puts a lot of pressure on the asking someone out part. That's why Finns don't date that much. Tinder has had an effect on it though. But even in Tinder people tend to talk untill they're sure that this could be a romantic match, untill meeting.

  • @Durufle68
    @Durufle68 3 місяці тому +5

    This was so eye-opening. I attnded collge with fellow student who was from Finland and we were good friends. This made me appreciate so much about the culture and I look forward to visitng Finland and experiencing the culture in person.

  • @user-du9to4ro5g
    @user-du9to4ro5g 17 днів тому

    Great conversation. Truly appreciate the candid replies and sharing of information! Thank you both.

  • @davidb5477
    @davidb5477 6 місяців тому +10

    Awesome questions form the interviewer. Not too probing , thoughtful questions about cultural differences. The interviewee was so generous to really be open enough to give honest answer to all questions asked.

  • @MrJustforfun54
    @MrJustforfun54 7 місяців тому +13

    Thank you for this great conversation, Marina. I work in infrastructure building remotely in Finland. This conversation has given me a lot of valuable information on social norms in that country. Also, it looks like we are Lakeshore neighbors. Keep up the great work!

  • @zensentido
    @zensentido 3 місяці тому +1

    great interview

  • @Seanonyoutube
    @Seanonyoutube 7 місяців тому +7

    Wonderful conversation. I’d love to check out Finland someday.

  • @zuchnicky
    @zuchnicky 6 місяців тому +9

    Amazing interview! Especially about people not doing "small talk" in public. It is quite similar in my country in cities. But in countryside it is quite normal to speak with people. But not so forced like in US, but only if you have something to say. Or simple have a need to share. I also have no idea what "walk of shame" means. But google helped. It exists in CZ language, but only in true meaning. (for example returning to your chair from blackboard when your teacher catches you totally unprepared for exam) But this weird transferred meaning probably exists only in N.Am. And the reason is nicely described in teen movie Eurotrip: "America was discovered by puritans." 🤣

  • @JH_75
    @JH_75 4 місяці тому +4

    I'm half Finnish (in the U.S.) and have always felt bad about my ignorance to Finnish history/culture/language so I've been learning more about the country and its people and the more I learn the more impressed I am. It really does seem to be one of the most advanced and egalitarian societies in the world with a very high standard of living. The military, conscription, and preparedness is admirable to say the least.
    I'd love to meet such a charming Finnish woman as Varpu. Regarding the Finnish social norms, I feel that Minnesota where I live is similar. Hard to break into those age old friendship groups and being a single man at 48 I find it very, very difficult to meet people, women in particular. Thank you.

  • @jennabarnes9713
    @jennabarnes9713 2 місяці тому +2

    Ive just been to Finland for the first time & fell in love with everything about it. I would love to move there from the UK some day.

  • @TheAirlock
    @TheAirlock 6 місяців тому +10

    @datingbeyondborderscast 44:14
    The practice of rating people numerically came out of American hyper-commercial pop culture and popularized by a romantic comedy starring Bo Derek titled "10" (1979).
    I saw the film as a kid and watched the (admittedly appalling) practice of reducing human people to a number gain in popularity in my culture. It's REALLY immature.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      I hate rating my pain at the doctor's office

  • @jimfrvnklin
    @jimfrvnklin 5 місяців тому +4

    The brightest smile I've ever seen😮

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      mixed with the longest teeth! By the way, I think that is a nordic trait

  • @jsigur157
    @jsigur157 9 днів тому

    I remember during the height of the Hippy era in the tourist town of Jasper Alberta in the Rocky Mountains, there was a summer long free camp that I lived in one summer. There was an adjacent small lake or pond that many hippies "skinny-dipped" in and on the hill above this camp you could see tourists with binoculars trying to "get a peak". I have to say that we were challenging all norms and it was pretty comfortable at the time

  • @grzegorzj.paterek7614
    @grzegorzj.paterek7614 2 місяці тому +2

    I have been working in Finland for over 6 years and living mostly in Olkiluoto, Rauma, Pori, Turku, Helsinki (with short breaks) and I must confirm that, in general, Finns are closest to "nature" and very nature-oriented (the other nation similar to them is Iceland). We Europeans don't understand their deep connection with nature until we see it up close. I grew up in the countryside, basically I was raised by my grandparents. The father was on foreign contracts, the mother was at work. Together with my grandparents, who ran the farm, so I was also very close to nature every day and can see that. Finns are extremely humble, peaceful and kind. They are quiet and subtle. Women are beautiful (well an example right here), and girls are like from fairytale, and nice and so kind : ) They made much greater impression on me than overrated women from Sweden :P

  • @cookeechoc8824
    @cookeechoc8824 3 місяці тому +3

    Nordic countries sound like an introvert's paradise.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      cold weather makes ppl introverted

  • @chiragprasadtv
    @chiragprasadtv 7 місяців тому +1

    Came here to help you reach 1000 subs asap so you can monetise! Love your work, such a rich source of information. I am trying to study in finland next year and i love learning these things about european countries. Thank you for doing what you do.🙏

    • @datingbeyondborderscast
      @datingbeyondborderscast  7 місяців тому +2

      Thank you for your lovely comment!

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Only a Fin would do that.@@datingbeyondborderscast

  • @jobellerobles7017
    @jobellerobles7017 4 місяці тому

    i find this vlog helpful when it comes to dating finn😊

  • @Clean97gti
    @Clean97gti 18 днів тому

    I used to think I wanted to move somewhere with an actual winter and cold and snow. But the more I walk around today where the sun is shining and my garden is already on its second crop and it's April, I'm not so sure anymore. I'm sure I'll re-read this post in the summer when it's scorching hot outside and wonder what the hell I was thinking.

  • @americanexpat8792
    @americanexpat8792 15 днів тому +1

    I’m a retired American, who’s now living in Ireland. Over the last 40 years, I’ve been in 40 countries and done business in 25 of them, plus been an expat in the Middle East and here the last 8 years. There are pros and cons to every culture. I’ve chosen to live here, so you can probably guess I like Europe. However, I think North American ‘small talk’ gets a bad rap. I’d chose America’s friendliness every day over the stoic culture in much of Europe (we don’t have that as much here in Ireland). The reality is that when you move somewhere that you need to be able to make friends. It’s a HUGE big deal, otherwise you’ll be the loneliest person alive. But you can’t make friends if you are not able to INITIATE a conversation. Sure, many of those conversations wouldn’t lead to deep friendships. That’s OK. However, you have to start somewhere and friendly ‘small talk’ is a great place to start. Plus, I’d rather have a pleasant short conversation with someone than just sit in the corner. It's been shown that this has a positive psychological effect on a person. One thing I like about Ireland is that I can walk many places in town and I know people's names and they know mine. It helps to create a sense of community that would not exist is you didn't have that 'small talk'.

    • @Veruska75
      @Veruska75 9 днів тому +1

      I get your point. Here in Finland though we feel uncomfortable talking to strangers, we are quite self-sufficient and just having small talk with random people would feel fake (you don’t really know that person and care about them) and unpolite (they might not want to be interrupted from their thoughts). But I do see your point about the sense of community.

  • @everythingisfine9988
    @everythingisfine9988 6 місяців тому +5

    God damn that accent... ❤️‍🔥

  • @tiinaikonen7754
    @tiinaikonen7754 5 місяців тому

    Happiness is the very essence of human being, happiness, peace etc. Its not something that comes from outside, it is already inside. Just many ways it expresses itself. The question really is how far are you from your own heart? Are you looking the happiness from this world, outside of yourself?

  • @SuperEohippus
    @SuperEohippus 6 місяців тому +6

    The "games" of "giving" and "getting" sex come from the times women were economically dependant of men and had to secure a husband. Luckily we don´t need that anymore. We both give and get and want equally.

    • @russ9921
      @russ9921 6 місяців тому +3

      Not true - the West in particular has tons of self-entitled women who expect a guy to pay for everything in the traditional sense yet want to do nothing or little in return for the guy. Lots of people are fed up with dating as a result and lots of men are wary of ever getting into a long term relationship or marriage due to the divorce laws and other fall-out.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      If you want kids you do

  • @jordanarsenault3952
    @jordanarsenault3952 6 місяців тому +5

    what an advanced society

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Their school system is amazing. They also have a controversial way of handling poor parents though maybe that is Norway

  • @TheAirlock
    @TheAirlock 6 місяців тому +4

    People not speaking to each other in public, would freak me out. It would make me feel like everyone is secretly plotting to assassinate me.

    • @johannalehtonen9590
      @johannalehtonen9590 2 місяці тому

      I'm pretty sure that Finnish faces would right away convince you that they just don't give a rat's ass about your existence... :D

  • @cool_cat007smoove3
    @cool_cat007smoove3 7 місяців тому +4

    Go to a local bar and just sit by yourself and look cool. No words. You might get someone say to you; I love your atospher

    • @ThePhantom712
      @ThePhantom712 6 місяців тому +2

      Whats an Atospher?

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      He's gotta mean atmosphere @@ThePhantom712

  • @conanobrian8580
    @conanobrian8580 7 місяців тому +3

    thanks for all your finland related content. i will visit in summer to find a lover at the wife carrying contest.

  • @joelrunyan1608
    @joelrunyan1608 3 місяці тому

    One key in winter in Finland is definitely getting outside every day. People will be out walking no matter how cold it is... when I've been there? Once for 3 weeks around Christmas...we walked or ski or snowshoe every day. I was fine.. then a year later I was there again and stayed inside for a week. I nearly lost my mind. And I was up in Lapland. Extremely cold and forest as far as u can see

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Lesson learned? Don't cross the arctic circle away from the ocean

  • @ArizonaAirspace
    @ArizonaAirspace 21 день тому

    She is beautiful a beautiful personality to match. And she’s a country girl. She’s a keeper. I would walk all the way to the end of the world if I knew I could win her heart.

  • @leonidasspyropoulos849
    @leonidasspyropoulos849 3 місяці тому +1

    It is not nice for you to feel that winter in Finland is a very bad thing. The diversity of the weather is part of the culture, is what makes it more interesting. They don’t “hibernate” in winter, they engage in other activities and take more time with family and friends. 60 days of darkness has its own uniqueness and interests.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому +1

      and that, my friends, is true Finnish 'diversity"

  • @CatJournal
    @CatJournal 6 місяців тому +7

    I love Finnish culture open minded and can adjust

  • @yngvesognen1092
    @yngvesognen1092 6 місяців тому +4

    I'm Norwegian. I had heard that Finnish ladies are cold. She is not! If they are like her I'd like to meet one!
    Making rules for dating is not a good idea. It should evolve naturally.

    • @AndrewTheVikings
      @AndrewTheVikings 5 місяців тому +1

      You're going had to travel to Helsinki, Finland, and find out. I'm planning to do that soon.

    • @peketee2278
      @peketee2278 28 днів тому

      You can't believe how much there are all kinds of prejudices about Finns in Norway....

    • @yngvesognen1092
      @yngvesognen1092 28 днів тому

      @@peketee2278 , probably mostly in the North.

    • @peketee2278
      @peketee2278 28 днів тому

      @@yngvesognen1092 in fact, Finns are better known in Northern Norway, because Finns have been working in Norway for decades. I myself have been in a Norwegian pipe company around Norway and I know something about that matter.

  • @lucaspierre9305
    @lucaspierre9305 13 днів тому

    I find small talk a waste of words specially with a stranger.

  • @europa_bambaataa
    @europa_bambaataa 4 місяці тому

    35:51 actual dating discussion

  • @airborneranger-ret
    @airborneranger-ret 6 місяців тому

    Liked and subbed
    Thump thump thump goes my heart. ;)

  • @TheDarlowiak
    @TheDarlowiak 6 місяців тому +11

    You can tell , Finish lady is not “ woke”.
    Greetings from Poland .
    So different from American point of view.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Finns idea of wokeness is on a different level. I can say I seek out Finnish entertainment so I can see mostly white faces and low level wokeness but the government seems to be all in on woke promotion. the rule is you start from where the ppl are at and Finns didn't have a civil rights movement, for example, in the 60's which was "Woke 1.0"

  • @thomasbarchen
    @thomasbarchen 5 місяців тому +2

    The American dream is alive in Finland.

  • @bolt9110
    @bolt9110 Місяць тому

    time stamps?

  • @chrismair8161
    @chrismair8161 6 місяців тому +1

    Love making is a game! It should be fun and enjoyable on both and for both. Damn Americans drop this ball every time. Canadian people though are more interpretive.

  • @Sammi_Kristiansen
    @Sammi_Kristiansen 7 місяців тому +3

    Thank you Marina for talking to Varpu!
    I always wanted to find a woman like Varpu to be my wife and the mother of my future kids!

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      "Varpu". Sounds like a fish.

    • @johannalehtonen9590
      @johannalehtonen9590 2 місяці тому +1

      @@jsigur157 It's a Finnish word but not anything fishy about it... In English it would be 'withe'.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      I assumed it was and I am sure Fins would not react the way I, as an american, would react. It kind of sounds like an Eskimo name to me but again, nno insult intended@@johannalehtonen9590

  • @bigmacntings7451
    @bigmacntings7451 5 місяців тому +2

    lots of business meetings in finland are done in the sauna naked.
    That is definitely part of the culture,you go in there and you have nothing to hide.
    so no, it's not really a sexual experience at all....too damn hot in there for a start!

  • @cedric7122
    @cedric7122 6 місяців тому +1

    Perhaps it should be considered peaceful rather than a happy country. No one would want to carry the expectation of being happy. What I do like is people take care of their health.

  • @michelleg7
    @michelleg7 4 місяці тому

    Wow I love Finnish culture compared to even Swedes it is that they have a work life balanace but they are open to foreigners and will talk with them. No personally, I can't just have sex with someone I can't do that. It makes me very uncomfortable to even sleep with a stranger. I find intimacy is very personal and emotional. Also on a note as an American I do not make conversation with strangers in elevators, that is just a no for me. I am open about sex and also not afraid to talk about it too. I think kids need to be comfortable with their bodies and their body functions and to know about the changes they go through and just sex. I don't believe children need to be ignorant about that and I am down for them learning young. Fantastic conversation.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      i explained the birds and bees to my daughter at about 6. Not sure that it got thru though

  • @joanofarcxxi
    @joanofarcxxi 6 місяців тому +2

    Hmmm, I am Portuguese, but I live in the USA right now. Portuguese are definitely a no games culture, very direct and honest, so I am no exception. I also lived in Sweden. I was together with a swede for over 12 years, and my most recent ex is finnish, born in a farm, his family owns a forest in the north of Finland! But he lived in Oulu, and after we met, we were together for 4 years. A lot of games, and not from me. Also a lot of alcohol, so yeah, he was happy in that way, but also a lot of laziness and relying on the government welfare system, not much motivation to be autonomously successful. He only worked a few days a week, a few hours. I don't understand it. But he loved fancy things name brands, and expensive gadgets. Always broke. I am thinking it's not the usual finnish way? Needless to say, I walked away from him. :)

    • @ombroh
      @ombroh 4 місяці тому +1

      There are many nuances to this, but I guess one factor is that in terms of work many prefer something that is comfortable and where they don't have to take too much bs. Some Finns deal with stressful work environments and drama better than others, whereas there is a tendency among some to settle for less if the government can take care of the rest. Often using government support is also not intentional, it is what it is, because there are not enough opportunities for everyone. It can be very challenging to get a job in general in Finland and opportunities can depend on who your family and friends are and are you considered a "good"/"normal" person in that working environment. But Finland is at the same time a very individualist society, so there are often clashes in this regard when people don't find their work tribe. Many Finns, especially younger ones, also want to do work that is somehow meaningful and to have a good work and life balance. So there are many sides to this. The kind of person you described is not the majority, but there is definitely a tendency, mind you, the guy you described has his own nuances (a lot of alcohol, fancy brands, expensive gadgets etc.). Sounds like the type who may have already given up, because there is a minority of those too who have less tolerance for drama and bs and who are turning more inwards, but the majority in the same situation is trying to improve their situation somehow and trying to find that opportunity or the best compromise with the outside world that works.

    • @VrilDerzhava
      @VrilDerzhava 3 місяці тому

      I have experienced the same in dating Finnish men. A lot of interest in alcohol and as much of it as possible. Same goes for the laziness and reliance on the government, while also claiming to resent the government at the same time. Perhaps it's something to do with the current culture as I don't believe Finnish men used to act this way.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Well, Finns are happy to pretty much just get by. They aren't often obsessed with getting rich for example, except for Varpu!

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      @@VrilDerzhava Yea, we don't have anything like that in America, NOTTTTT~!

    • @sol2937
      @sol2937 2 місяці тому

      Are Portuguese a no-games culture, very direct and honest? 🤔

  • @rossini-ck9fw
    @rossini-ck9fw 6 місяців тому

    49:47

  • @scottlouis6116
    @scottlouis6116 7 місяців тому +1

    34:53 . I wholeheartedly disagree. Having a career is what gives someone purpose, gratification, sense of accomplishment, and confidence.

    • @haraldtheyounger5504
      @haraldtheyounger5504 6 місяців тому +1

      Such is the mass delusion. You are merely a slave to a system which cares not for you, which will willingly discard you when you are of no use, which will abuse in every way possible just for profit, which engenders discrimination, etc, etc, etc.

    • @ArcticCoder
      @ArcticCoder 6 місяців тому +7

      She is correctly talking about jobs. Almost nobody has access to a career. You have a job, not a career.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому +2

      Having a career means different things to different ppl. Most Finns leave work at 4 and don't think about it again till the next day. You might call that lackadaisical somewhere else but Finns strive to be content, not so much to "get ahead"

  • @yngvesognen1092
    @yngvesognen1092 6 місяців тому +1

    This was almost too much about how perfect Finland is. Are there really no more downsides than winter depression?

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому +1

      No, it can get much more positive than that!

    • @yngvesognen1092
      @yngvesognen1092 2 місяці тому

      @@jsigur157, the problem is that you don't have any real, deep knowledge about Finland nor probably any country.

    • @yngvesognen1092
      @yngvesognen1092 28 днів тому

      My country Norway is very rich but far from perfect. That's true for all countries, including Finland. I've lived in many countries.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 28 днів тому +1

      @@yngvesognen1092 Rereading what I wrote, I am sure I was being facetious. I was just looking at my new wall map and again I am amazed how far north Helsinki is and then even more amazing is to note that St Petersburg has 5 million ppl and at the same latitude
      I grew up in Atlanta GA so when I moved to Toronto, Canada I thought I was very far north but Helsinki is 1000 miles north of that!
      One advantage that the cold climate likely has given is that it has kept down the mass Migration other places have and are getting

  • @thedailygreatness
    @thedailygreatness 3 місяці тому

    I like the Finnish approach to many things, especially the sauna culture. Overall, these are wonderful discussions but it's impossible to compare a country like Finland or Norway who have about 5 million people per country and a largely homogenous history and population to America with 330 Million and a very broad and heterogenous population base, including some Scandinavians. It might be more accurate to compare American States or Regions to other countries. Finnish dating culture sounds like Indiana relationship culture, for example.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      You can definitely compare and many ppl are not happy with America right now and what Finland has to offer would have me sailing right over if I wasn't already 74

  • @perroloco2395
    @perroloco2395 3 місяці тому +1

    For sure an enchanting woman. But it seems to me she is in a specific privileged position in Finland regarding material ressources, education and the luck of good health and not the rule in that country. F.e. Alcoholism is a significant problem in Finland, and it leads to a range of health and social problems. Finland has one of the highest alcohol consumption rates in the world, with an average of **9.6 liters of pure alcohol per capita. While the Finnish government has taken steps to combat alcoholism, more needs to be done to address this issue. Drinking alone during the winter months is also a common problem in Finland. The long, dark winters can be difficult for many people, and alcohol can be used as a coping mechanism. Drinking alone can lead to feelings of isolation and depression, and it can also increase the risk of developing alcoholism. In recent years, there has been a rise in the number of people who meet online to chat while drunk. This behavior is often referred to as "nettiöverit" or "netti-illat," which translates to "internet hangovers" or "internet evenings" . While this behavior is not unique to Finland, it is a growing concern, as it can lead to social isolation and other problems.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Yes and your concerns I am sure, are why Finland is the happiest country in the world for the last 6 years

    • @bonsummers2657
      @bonsummers2657 2 місяці тому

      I find beer, wine, and liquor are healthy in moderation,…. as with anything good. Not consumed when not desired, and not consumed to excess.

    • @peketee2278
      @peketee2278 28 днів тому

      ​@@jsigur1577 years now...

  • @Sammi_Kristiansen
    @Sammi_Kristiansen 7 місяців тому +5

    In North America, some women think that if sex is too early, then they are easy to get, and they are not a 10 anymore. So weird....
    Americans get "too weak" vacations.... hahah

    • @starshine6472
      @starshine6472 7 місяців тому +4

      Yeah, and about the vacation time, I have worked at many places that didn't offer *any* paid time off, and the one place that did, gave you one week's vacation until you'd worked with them for ten years---then it went up to two weeks. (I'm self-employed now and make my own rules. 😉)

  • @Septumsempra8818
    @Septumsempra8818 6 місяців тому

    🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦

  • @yngvesognen1092
    @yngvesognen1092 6 місяців тому +3

    What's the walk of shame?

    • @zuchnicky
      @zuchnicky 6 місяців тому +1

      google... (as I did now 😅) it is only hard to understand and probably known only in N.Am. ...something about going to work in the same clothes like yesterday because you did not sleep home. But it is hard to understand why they connects it with shame. For me it looks like very well spent night.

    • @yngvesognen1092
      @yngvesognen1092 6 місяців тому +1

      @@zuchnicky, I'm Norwegian and agree with you. They have too many hangups over there.

    • @toomuchinformation
      @toomuchinformation 3 місяці тому +1

      ​@@zuchnickyThe Walk of Shame generally refers only to women as well.😊

    • @zuchnicky
      @zuchnicky 3 місяці тому

      @@toomuchinformation why? are they some different species?

    • @toomuchinformation
      @toomuchinformation 3 місяці тому +3

      It seems to be an Anglosphere "thing" and esp in the US where there is still a strong "purity" and "tradwife" culture (the US will try and ban birth control if they can, after reversing Roe v Wade).
      So from that follows sexual double standards. US men are vocal about going abroad to find a partner (or engage in sexual tourism) because they're tired of the "modern" American (or even European) woman.
      So it's only women who get labelled as having a "walk of shame".

  • @antoniotorcoli5740
    @antoniotorcoli5740 6 місяців тому +4

    Nordics are honest, even in sex. No games, no tricks.

  • @mauti8550
    @mauti8550 7 місяців тому +3

    Talking and saying nothing...

  • @peterstockdale620
    @peterstockdale620 6 місяців тому +3

    Clearly, there is some sexuality in nudity if Varpu is only comfortable in female saunas, unless it is in her little family. I would be interesting to explore non-binary relationships and sexual education across countries. And class divisions in the matters discussed.

    • @vivekapihl5179
      @vivekapihl5179 6 місяців тому +9

      As a Finn, I think that being comfortable with your own sex in sauna comes with the shared experiences in a similar kind of body. The sexuality is very rarely the issue in sauna between the sexes, and if it somehow becomes an issue, it is very little tolerated and severely socially sanctioned.
      And, I have to say, Finnish guys are so well behaved and respectful in sauna, same goes with the girls towards boys. We truly have nailed this in our culture.
      And yes, nudity is sexual, for example in the park during summer heat wave when everybody dresses less or on the beach. But sauna, sauna is a Holy place where it would be absolutely sacrilegious to give the vibes that you are thinking sexually about the nudity.
      I doubt people from other cultures can learn this. We were raised like this and it is so cool.

  • @royk4480
    @royk4480 7 місяців тому +9

    Also, I understand dumping on the US is a sport in since 1776, but being “unauthentic” on a first date isn’t mutually exclusive to North America ;) I’m single and have dating allllllll over Northern Europe.
    Having lived there, I’ve seen both parties being puking drunk, just to speak and so they won’t remember how “authentic” they were being. The awkward silence and even physicality after said coffee.
    Finns, like Norwegians, are extremely awkward, socially, so I’ve seen forced conversation in the beginning, then saw the deafening silence, the sheltered, aloofness come forward until one party either cheats, take a work leave, get on meds and battle the demons of loneliness.
    I’ve seen the binge drinking, the consideration of takings ones life, joining neo Nazis (huge issue there now 😊 ) out of loneliness etc… Again, these are the things they like to point out in others, but don’t like to mention for themselves. That man in the mirror is painful when he looks back.
    Finnish men and women cheat too, can be abusive when drunk (I’ve had to intervene in 3 diff couples), which is often, and tend to emotionally stunt children with said aloofness and lack of affection. It’s fascinating once you see behind the gilded curtain, which I feel is going on here.
    There is a lot more depression that they’d like to admit either, especially considering how awful mental health assistance is to get there. “Paracetamol and hikes cure all!” -Nordic Doctors
    Again, if all you know of America is from Gunsmoke, Bonanza or Friends or Yellowstone, then you’re 100% failing yourselves. It’s also not the norm to go to expensive restaurants in a full tux or suit lol. No one does that. We go for ice cream, coffee or *gasp* walks in the park, lake or a mall, which I know doesn’t fit those the tropes y’all love.

    • @datingbeyondborderscast
      @datingbeyondborderscast  7 місяців тому +11

      I loved reading your perspective and definitely agree with a lot of what you say. I have noted it when traveling in the Nordic countries and will address it in future episodes both on this Podcast and in a new video on Swedish loneliness/strong individualism culture. There is a lot to talk about for sure.

    • @vivekapihl5179
      @vivekapihl5179 6 місяців тому +2

      The Finns are definitely not awkward socially, please take another look. We have our discreet small-gestured style.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      The US is a fucked up place right now, don't be so defensive

  • @davidolomu285
    @davidolomu285 7 місяців тому +5

    How is it that hard labor falls always on the men but cooking goes both ways,so where is the "equality"?!(feminist soceity).
    Quite little 5,541m people for the happiest place to be on earth

    • @mussunmussun3536
      @mussunmussun3536 Місяць тому

      It is not feminism if a man chops the wood and cooks and cleans with his lady. It would be feminism if a woman chopped wood and a man did all the household chores alone. Men do help ladies out and things are generally equal - Men do manly things and women help when needed and vice versa - of course this is generalization and subjective. This is how it is in Finland; Men learn to be the best cleaner in the world while in mandatory conscript service. Every day there is a "cleaning service" where you have to clean the room where 12 or more men sleep and spend leisure time. Also, you learn to make your bed perfectly every time, which is inspected regularly among other things. Things are not so black and white and so generalized.

  • @vasjapupkin7775
    @vasjapupkin7775 4 місяці тому

    Совершенно не понятно, почему эта русская девушка косит под финку. зачем?

  • @nigelwatson2750
    @nigelwatson2750 7 місяців тому +24

    The Greek interviewer doesn't understand the Finnish way of living and Finnish values. The nature of her questioning revealed that she wasn't listening to what Varpu was saying. There is more to life than ego, status and conspicuous consumption. Look at their faces throughout the interview. Who looks happier? I think it's fairly obvious. Maybe the Greek lady needs to reassess her approach to happiness. As Varpu said, happiness is found in people and what you do. Happiness is not found in ego, status and material possessions. Be less fake!

    • @gomes2151
      @gomes2151 6 місяців тому +6

      Happiness is settled in knowing properly nationality of the people before you take assumptions about them. And your comment, even into misunderstood perception is fake: Greeks are one the most lay back people, spirited and friendly people of the Europe in spite of their historical and seminal contribution to this continent and ocidental civilization.

    • @DanFeldmanAgileProjectManager
      @DanFeldmanAgileProjectManager 6 місяців тому +12

      @@gomes2151is the interviewer Greek? I thought she was a Russian-Canadian.

    • @NBAasDOGG
      @NBAasDOGG 5 місяців тому +5

      Suicide rates are exceptionally high in Finland, so I would be careful with your words about happyness.

    • @nigelwatson2750
      @nigelwatson2750 5 місяців тому

      There is less state euthanasia in Finland though @@NBAasDOGG

    • @NBAasDOGG
      @NBAasDOGG 5 місяців тому +3

      @@nigelwatson2750
      But they still have a relatively high suicide rates when compared to other Western European countries. This is also true for some regions in Sweden, Norway and Denmark.

  • @jsigur157
    @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

    Maybe it's more of an eastern European thing, this inability to make conversation but the other possibility would be extremely cold climates just naturally make for more reserved personalities. I also thought that it might have been the result of the communist revolution making ppl scared to say something and it would just be safer to be quiet

  • @Sisterlisk
    @Sisterlisk 6 місяців тому +1

    I've seen a preview clip of this interview/pod. Not interested in watching because I, as a Christian, think it promotes hedonism and immoral behaviour.

    • @Aer0n023
      @Aer0n023 6 місяців тому +12

      Well, as a Christian, I would say that is super silly thinking.

    • @zuchnicky
      @zuchnicky 6 місяців тому +1

      No problem. For me your comment seems like hypocrisy. So maybe The Loophole by Garfunkel and Oates song is something better for you?

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      You a missionary woman or something?

  • @jorge-7121
    @jorge-7121 6 місяців тому +1

    No gender roles ? Antiscientific. I'm out

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      It's more like anti gender roles where women show disdain for all those expectations surrounding child rearing

  • @live--now
    @live--now 6 місяців тому

    the blonde is a 7 :) , so they are shy by their culture .. its not a stick up their .... , good they should relax a bit tho XD , only dated 3 guys ... wtf thats almost zero experience .. she will never know if she found the best of the best ... lazy aproach imo .

    • @holmbjerg
      @holmbjerg 6 місяців тому +15

      That IS the exact mentality of a game. You don't want to settle for anything not perfect, so you can never ever settle because you are always looking for something potentially better. You will never find what you are looking for, because you have FOMO.

    • @XGD5layer
      @XGD5layer 6 місяців тому +2

      The standard of dating here is exclusive, so even getting up to three can take time.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      I love the land of the pure blonde hair!

  • @PinoSantilli-hp5qq
    @PinoSantilli-hp5qq 6 місяців тому +1

    ya'll laugh too much...typical of women child like laughter

  • @healthyself7941
    @healthyself7941 6 місяців тому +7

    Sex before or outside marriage poses serious risk of disease and pregnancy, and makes physical intimancy cheap and meaningless.

    • @XGD5layer
      @XGD5layer 6 місяців тому +5

      Physical intimacy is only cheap and meaningless if there is no 'true' meaning behind it. And sadly waiting until marriage does nothing to prevent meaningless physical intimacy from existing. The reasons for cheap meaninglessness lie elsewhere in the psyche.

    • @healthyself7941
      @healthyself7941 6 місяців тому +4

      ​@@XGD5layer One night stands, casual sex, pre-marital and extra marital affairs - all indicate lack of character, and an absence of sensible behavior. To each his own. Plus, there's the enormous risk of disease and pregnancy. People can live the way they want. Best wishes!

    • @XGD5layer
      @XGD5layer 6 місяців тому +1

      @@healthyself7941 Even in the absence of those actions, if there is no true meaning behind mundane or sacred acts, then there is no meaning to them, they're cheap. That will not change regardless of how good any external evaluation criteria says a relation is. Advocating for an institution is fine and all but it has to serve a true purpose lest it be perverted, is what I feel.

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      Humans are the only organism that makes sex to be about other things rather than race perpetuation. This is the evilness of woke culture because they are obsessed with the weirdest ways of going about having sex while often spurning its true reason for existing in the first place@@healthyself7941

  • @sandroclemus
    @sandroclemus 2 місяці тому

    "She's a 10, she's a 7" ...Society is gone so wrong. How could you possibly define the immensity of human beings with a number from 1-10.

    • @freezedeve3119
      @freezedeve3119 2 місяці тому +1

      it does not really even matter, it does not matter if she is 5 or less by looks if she has something else to make you interested.

    • @sandroclemus
      @sandroclemus 2 місяці тому

      @@freezedeve3119 You are still talking numbers.... That's the wrong part.

    • @freezedeve3119
      @freezedeve3119 2 місяці тому

      @@sandroclemus there is no right or wrong on this matter, only opinions

    • @sandroclemus
      @sandroclemus 2 місяці тому

      @@freezedeve3119 With respect, when things are physical, right or wrong is not opinion, is fact. People are living beings, not numbers. Like "3 cups" are 3 cups.. But a human is not a "7" ... So in the physical world is wrong. Now, in the assessment realm is wrong too. Because personal taste is subjective. I think Michael Bolton is the best, you think Aerosmith is the best. So putting numbers on them, is not only wrong, it's useless. Because each will assign the higher number according to preference. Meaning that the numbers assigned make no difference whatsoever nor have any function. So I'd say it's triple wrong seeing people as numbers. This shouldn't even be discussion.

    • @freezedeve3119
      @freezedeve3119 2 місяці тому

      @@sandroclemus "This shouldn't even be discussion" and you still started talk about it, well done.

  • @jackhill3489
    @jackhill3489 4 місяці тому

    What the finish like : muslims and africans 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

    • @jsigur157
      @jsigur157 2 місяці тому

      The Finns are doing a much better job on the immigration front than every other western country. There is no place in Finland where illegals can congregate to then be chaperoned into country like you see going on at the Texas border. What is clear is that the ppl that run America don't love America or Canada for that matter