Stepmom Guilt| What I Wish I Knew When I First Became A Stepmom, Podcast Ep 03

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  • Опубліковано 1 лип 2023
  • Nobody tells you about the guilt involved once you become a stepmom, There's a lot I wish I knew going in. Oddly the guilt manifests in ways that never crossed your mind. Today I dive deep into the lessons I learned and share tips to help you maneuver in a blended family.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 68

  • @TheIrenestandard
    @TheIrenestandard Рік тому +32

    I admire how you gracefully handled this blended family thing! Guilt is a sign that you value other people’s feelings than your own and that speaks volume of who you are as a person. You are extremely kind and that goes a long way❤

    • @FashionableStepMum
      @FashionableStepMum  Рік тому +1

      Thank you for your kind words. I’d definitely Find myself always considering othered before myself. But we found a way to work through it 💖

  • @joankizito8437
    @joankizito8437 7 місяців тому +2

    These are the real conversations that society needs to hear.
    Good lessons to pick

  • @wangecigakure3296
    @wangecigakure3296 Рік тому +15

    You don't know how this podcast has helped a young stepmom here....shukran🙏🏼

  • @elegancewithalicemuhirwa9680
    @elegancewithalicemuhirwa9680 Рік тому +6

    Blended family have their own dynamics that I even feel like there is less experts in supporting our dynamics, most parents in blended families navigate life with so much guilt, insecurities and feeling like you are not doing enough .
    Having someone like you who has chosen to share your journey is so empowering and reassuring.
    Be blessed as you continue sharing your journey.

  • @abbiezuena
    @abbiezuena 11 місяців тому +2

    Loved this episode, I believe the biggest conviction about us step mums is the reality that you will judged more about how your step kids turn out that your own children. But we try our best to love all the children unconditionally and trust God in the process that everything works out well.

  • @ruthmutonyi5542
    @ruthmutonyi5542 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for sharing your lessons and journey with us. Very insightful!!

  • @Grace-W
    @Grace-W 11 місяців тому

    Thank you for your podcast which is really needed.
    Thank you for stepping up and filling the gap.

  • @sharonemordi
    @sharonemordi Рік тому +3

    Thank you so much for sharing your wealth of wisdom on this difficult subject. 🎉🎉❤

  • @njerilinda
    @njerilinda Рік тому +4

    I love the honesty. Thanks for shedding light on the challenges a stepmom goes through. Definitely camping here for more content

  • @ThePatriciaPatrick
    @ThePatriciaPatrick Рік тому +2

    Wowwww thanks for sharing your story. Had a baby a few months ago and sometimes feel bad when I have to protect baby from the other kids who are just being kids around a baby.

  • @tuiyastudio4463
    @tuiyastudio4463 Рік тому +3

    Aren't society's constructs something fascinating to discuss? It's truly incredible how group behavior holds such a powerful influence, more than we often realize. With hindsight being 20/20, it serves as a gentle reminder to embrace a cheerful and carefree attitude towards others' opinions and instead focus on what truly brings you joy and fulfillment in life.

  • @shalomandrest
    @shalomandrest Рік тому

    thank you, i really needed this !

  • @yolz555
    @yolz555 11 місяців тому

    ❤ this was insightful. Lot of love

  • @marjorywaweru155
    @marjorywaweru155 Рік тому +1

    Keep it up fashionable step mum.. Awesome podcast.

  • @mercykamau8288
    @mercykamau8288 11 місяців тому +1

    So inspiring to hear what you went through GUILT I can relate am a step mom too am trying to get out of it slowly one day I will tell my story God bless all the honest and loving step mums including you Cathy it’s never easy we carry the cross

  • @mercyshish3773
    @mercyshish3773 Рік тому +3

    Oh my..this is so raw..felicitations girl..am a step mom too..but luckily my step boys were grown..and since I got a girl (the family hasn't had a girl for over 50 years)maybe that helped..but kudos..wasn't easy with the younger boy..but we are so close now.divorce affects kids alot.

  • @WahuKiragu
    @WahuKiragu Рік тому

    Wow. So wonderful.Thank you. Kathy.❤

  • @Pamtheentrepreneur
    @Pamtheentrepreneur 11 місяців тому +1

    Thank you for this podcast. It has really helped me to be me without feeling guilty.

  • @Mteulepioneers2024
    @Mteulepioneers2024 Рік тому +1

    The fact that you are so real 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 makes it so beautiful.

  • @anamwan3159
    @anamwan3159 Рік тому +1

    Quite inspiring Cathy

  • @beatricemusyoka2168
    @beatricemusyoka2168 8 місяців тому

    Excellent conversion , Thank you for sharing we are encouraged.
    I have a blended family . I got married to a widower . He waited for close to eight years before He remarried. It's not easy to be in a blended family , it only needs God's Grace .

  • @thegodlyprincess_kenya
    @thegodlyprincess_kenya Рік тому

    so vulnerable!!!

  • @ruvarasheruzive7870
    @ruvarasheruzive7870 Рік тому +6

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I was born to a mom that was already a stepmom to my dads three kids from three different moms. She was treated with so much suspicion and I’ve dated guys with their own children and I’ve seen myself carrying stepmom guilt in relationships. This is relatable and valuable. Thank you for sharing

  • @elynnkatha5167
    @elynnkatha5167 Рік тому +1

    I love your content ❤

  • @thrivetalk90
    @thrivetalk90 Рік тому +1

    You are Gold!

  • @dee_thedaisy
    @dee_thedaisy Рік тому +1

    Loved it

  • @D33Beloved
    @D33Beloved 10 місяців тому +1

    I'm about to marry a father of 4 and his as majority custody. I really needed this podcast

  • @shalomandrest
    @shalomandrest Рік тому +1

    heeee mimi mtoto wangu will get my full attention, i refuse all these guilts in jesus name , i will not compensate to anyone on this one wueh ! haki nakataa, thank you for this !

  • @VivianKuvare11
    @VivianKuvare11 Рік тому +4

    This was so good, I can relate especially when it comes to overcompensating. I feel guilty for not giving my baby as much attention cause I need to ensure that my bonus kids also feel loved with the newborn being in the picture.

    • @FashionableStepMum
      @FashionableStepMum  Рік тому +4

      I wish I just showered Shawn with the love and attention looking back. But we movec

    • @hopenanyaro2470
      @hopenanyaro2470 Рік тому +2

      You should have coz no matter what you do as a step mum. It will never enough enough. Sometimes you can only do what is enough. I wish I could share my experience with you been through so much and I know you just do enough and never forget yourself or your baby. They have their mother and their mum doesn’t buy anything for your baby so make sure you don’t neglect your because of the guilt.

  • @pauladenise8250
    @pauladenise8250 Рік тому

    I don't know how to comment on this one . . Thank God you are in a different space now.

  • @lucywanjirumacharia9623
    @lucywanjirumacharia9623 Рік тому +2

    judgment almost killed me ..most would ask about his kid .Mimi nko tu hapo .well addressed thanks

  • @divineturnaround
    @divineturnaround Рік тому +1

    am camping here kutiwa nguvu katika hii safari...coz weeh... i wish i knew this before nijiingize ndani... i hope God will build my family someday to blend na iwe this mature...

  • @africanqueenmo
    @africanqueenmo Рік тому +9

    You're very raw and uncut love this. I'm an older step mum and resonate with your experiences somewhat except that the bio mum is not in the picture so it's a little different. Not easier.

    • @FashionableStepMum
      @FashionableStepMum  Рік тому +2

      I get what you mean. Sometimes it’s even tougher if the bio parents are deceased. The comparison gets even more

    • @africanqueenmo
      @africanqueenmo Рік тому

      @@FashionableStepMum or abandoned their children even worse I'd rather have a fight on my hands with the bio mum insisting on a relationship with their child.

  • @jaquelinemutitu8937
    @jaquelinemutitu8937 Рік тому

    I love your content

  • @goodstepmother8033
    @goodstepmother8033 11 місяців тому

    Last year I had a friend tell me her kid's step mom isn't a real mom. That hurt me a lot as a step mom. I felt hit by the guilt she was throwing at the step mom in her child's life.

  • @estherwangui8449
    @estherwangui8449 Рік тому

    Wow great content.....

  • @smilenovember7287
    @smilenovember7287 Рік тому +1

    Watching from South Sudan juba 🙏🥰

  • @carolineodhiambo3270
    @carolineodhiambo3270 Рік тому +1

    ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @cellobeauty6567
    @cellobeauty6567 Рік тому

    That wig WOW

  • @suihtflava
    @suihtflava Рік тому +6

    I have seen good stepmums and really evil stepmums.
    In Kenyan communities they say " Mama wa kambo sio mama". This is so wrong on all levels. I have come to challenge this notion, especially where stepmoms use this as an excuse to be inhuman and mistreat the children they found in that home. There is no valid reason whatsover to mistreat children. It's plain inhuman and evil.
    I applaud stepmoms who accept and treat well kids who are not their own.

  • @lindamuringo6422
    @lindamuringo6422 6 місяців тому

    Looking for this video

  • @childofgod.226
    @childofgod.226 Рік тому +2

    I think you did not love yourself enough and you wanted to be nice and please everyone. For me i told my husband this are my first experiences and deeded to enjoy every step of the way.I have 3 children.He was in 2 marriages before with 5kids.Put yourself first and love your child don't skip any stages of his life growing up.Others will grow up and live then you will be left with your own.

  • @raquelsasha8426
    @raquelsasha8426 11 місяців тому

    Guilt while pregnant can be extremely devastating, it does turn to overcompensation.

  • @noelorraine
    @noelorraine Рік тому +2

    The way I relate to all these guilts😅😅😅it's a daily thing..The saddest thing in all of it is that you sacrifice your biological child experiences with you and your husband

    • @FashionableStepMum
      @FashionableStepMum  Рік тому

      So true. But it’s good to know your reality and actively work towards giving your child the experience they deserve 💖

  • @paulinemakaishewangendo6612
    @paulinemakaishewangendo6612 10 місяців тому

    Here to learn even if am not one because weeh , guilt be in many ways.Thank You for this

  • @DinahKanake
    @DinahKanake 5 місяців тому

    Imposter syndrome is terrible to deal with

  • @twoten2547
    @twoten2547 Рік тому +1

    I hope Karen Nyamu will see this podcast and tell us about her experience.

    • @M.e749
      @M.e749 Рік тому

      You are lost here Karen nyamu issue is very different

  • @purityowuor2634
    @purityowuor2634 Рік тому +1

    I have a step daughter who told me her mum told her she'll only stay with us when she's at 18,reason being stepmoms hutesa watu

    • @FashionableStepMum
      @FashionableStepMum  Рік тому

      Oh no 😢 I hope you challenged that notion.

    • @purityowuor2634
      @purityowuor2634 Рік тому

      @@FashionableStepMum told her not all, others are good, we've try creating bonds but her mom weeh

    • @twoten2547
      @twoten2547 Рік тому

      But 90% of them are toxic.

    • @Mayberlynne
      @Mayberlynne Рік тому

      ​@@twoten2547this generation?? No

    • @mueniMululu
      @mueniMululu 3 місяці тому

      @@purityowuor2634 i can relate 💯💯

  • @nancybash1814
    @nancybash1814 2 місяці тому +1

    Babes, you were also a BADDIE and that was 99.98% of the problem with those women… This happens to pretty girls who aren’t even coupled up

  • @martharinebiseko1457
    @martharinebiseko1457 Рік тому +3

    I guess people treated Yr the way they did coz.......your presence wd not allow the first lady and her hubby try to sort out their issues

    • @FashionableStepMum
      @FashionableStepMum  Рік тому +13

      Again I repeat it wasn’t my mess and it’s easier than blame the neutral party

    • @xtine8923
      @xtine8923 Рік тому +8

      Just wondering, wouldn't/ shouldn't the men work harder than this to make sure it's easier on step mums. Thanks for sharing, very insightful

    • @zen1753
      @zen1753 9 місяців тому

      She was not part of the problem and a man/woman is allowed to move on with a new partner if a marriage is over.