i struggle SO much with knowing i'm the second woman, because all i think about is how i wasn't the first and that the first woman will always be in my husbands life :(
🤣🤣 girls I have been the first and the second listen your husband doesn’t give a shit about his baby mama and that’s what kills her deep down inside your the one he “changed “ for think about it your the winner 😘🥰
What in the literal f$@@! like grow the hell up you’re the second in every relationship unless you found your significant other in elementary school. The amount of crybabies in this world is uncanny!
I'm not married but my SO's daughter visits occasionally (maybe two weekends a month), so I'm around her perhaps not regularly, but often enough to have an influence. My biggest thing I've learned is to disengage from anything that doesn't immediately concern me. SO wants to give SD an unholy amount of candy? Go right ahead. Don't stress yourself out over things you have no control over. Also, I don't view myself as SD's bonus mom or anything besides her dad's live in partner. I play with her when I can, engage with her, etc., but I don't see myself as her mom or even a mom figure because she doesn't live with us full time so I have very little influence over her.
I personally liked this video because I myself am a step mom so I can relate. One main thing I have an issue adjusting to is the different parenting styles bc I have two children already and I’m big on discipline, and him... not so much and I never want to overstep him, but it’s very necessary!
So sorry! I’m late, didn’t see the comment I guess now that I’m on UA-cam studio I can see more lol But I agree! The two parenting styles is hard for us & probably even harder on the child. But there’s always compromising!
I’m in a similar boat. My boyfriends daughter is 10. When I ask her to shower she asks him to shower in the morning and he always says yes. Cleanliness is important. One week I didn’t wanna feel like I was wasting my breath. She went for two showers in a school week Because he didn’t ask her. He has no rules for her what so ever Cept bed at 9. No other rules. It’s so so hard because I grew up cleaning up after myself doing chores at the age of 8. I was cleaning up everting she ever touched for a whole year untill I felt like I was suffocating so now I ask her to clean up after herself but he doesn’t enforce it very much :/. He lets her walk all over car seats, wears a jumper to bed with the fan and air con on. If I had a kid. They would be putting their rubbish in the bin before the age of 10. My 6 yr old sister came over one day and asked me where the bin was. I was so proud I wanted to almost cry. 😅
I’m having a deep difficult time in this journey I don’t have kids but the man I’m with now has two suns he’s a single father. Idk why I feel out of place
@@traceyboswell By that logic, so is everything else delageted to the husband. The stepmom isn't obligated to feed that child or pay any portion of bills that child used in their house. You can't expect a stepparent to be there for everything else except discipline. That is when I back off and mind my business totally. Let the mama and daddy deal with their own precious perfect little angel.
I always said I’d never be with a man who has a child but damn my boyfriend has a daughter and it hurts cause I wanted my first child to be my mans first child, crushed dreams 💔💔 ps. I love his daughter.
I’m a stepmom too. I know it’s tough because the kids biological mom and family will always be around. And there’s the risk of it not working out. So...yeah, it takes love and patience; something that is really stretching my mind to new and unbelievable horizons as far as mentality about this. I love you sharing this. There’s days that I’m like I’m done! But I love my husband, and we are both in communication about this struggle and to make it work. Thank you!
This is definitely is all new to me. My partner has two with the newest daughter one month before us 😭 Stressful because of the new daughter mother making his life hell. So a new baby and new baby mother as his girlfriend I get all the heat from him on top of two girls. P.S. I love his daughters 😍 it’s the adults that make it awkward
I’ve watched this video twice! I am dating someone who is a full time dad and this really helped me a lot; my friends don’t seem to understand as their not in this situation…although there intentions are great, their advice is “opinionated & bias vs real life experiences”; This has helped me realize that I am willing to continue dating him and see where this goes…Thank you for this advice❤️
You're very mature about this. I wish I could have been as mature as you when I met my ex. I was just trying to figure out how to be a mother to my own child. Then, I had 6 more and 2 baby mamas to deal with instantly. 🤯. That situation has ended but like you said, God gives you lessons to humble and teach you.
The Marvelous Beauty Channel you’re right lol 6 children and 2 baby moms is a lot to take in all at once 😩 obviously it was too much to handle. And being honest with what you can handle is so important to your mental health! Although it didn’t work out with him, I pray god will send you someone Better and prepare you for it 💕👏🏾😊
I pray to God everyday that he blesses his kids and I to have a respect for each other, let my bond and his kids bond with me to grow, and that we love each other. I want to love his kids like I love my own child.
My bf has a new baby otw & him and the baby mother are actually on good terms… & im also on good terms with his bbymother she tells me how she loves that im his gf bc she would feel safe with her daughter being around Me and how she believes her daughter is gon love me & he tells me bt their conversations everytime they talk all the time but i still be scared that i might always come second to him or one day he will just decide to be with her and be a family
Great video Syd! This is a great tool for people that are looking for some guidance on this topic. I think it takes a very mature and strong person to step into a relationship where kids from a previous relationship are involved. So kuddos to you and everyone that step into that role. At the end of the day it’s about the babies and their well being ❤️
Cass C. Exactly 💕 it’s all about the babies involved and what works best for them regardless of how the adults feel! Thanks for the comment, love ya girl! 😬👏🏾
You have very mature insights for your age. Kids are young, and cannot be expected to be small adults cognitively. They want peace, and have guilt with believing that love is finite.
Im 22 dating a 30 year old who moved to houston from Chicago ( for about 2years now) , he has 3 kids by 2 different women and is an “active” father who contributes, but i looked this video up to see what i could possibly be getting my self into , I personally dont want to have any kids of my own . we talk about them (his kids) coming down for summer when they are older in the future and take trips back tho chi to go visit them and his family. but your video help me identify what would be my role 💯
Thanks for this video. This helps a lot. I admire how open and understanding you are handling this situation. I just met my 3yr old step daughter last week, we are still on the transition process which is overwhelming to the child and i guess to me. Lol. Its confusing and im going on a roller coaster emotions with everything rn. This help me to stop to overthink of the situation and just be the best that i can be. More power to your channel. ❤️
Thank you for this!! There are way not enough videos like this one in the internet - this shit is difficult af and any help and any person that is in a similar situation is helpful! THANK YOU ❤
Everything you said was absolutely real & genuine ✨! Thank GOD for you because so many people go through things & try to it their way & not understand that we lean on GODs understanding not our own! So I want to tell you , keep doing what you are doing & spreading the love 💕
THANK YOU FOR BOTH THIS VIDEO AND THE BABY MAMA VIDEO. YOU SAID SO MANY THINGS THAT I DID NOT EVEN CONSIDER. THIS VIDEO HAS OPENED MY EYES TO WHAT AND HOW TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR MOVING FORWARD. THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. XOXOXOXOXOX
First off, I want to say that my partner and I are both Christians. I'm in a weird position. My partner is planning on marrying me at the end of summer. He's 10 years older and had an accidental child when he was 19. She's not really in the picture much as her mom had kept her from him for years. She's only 9 years younger than me and I have no idea how that will go if she comes back into his life. I have no kids but want them in the future. Trying to let God take over my emotions about it. I have no intentions of trying to be a step-mom to her as she already has two parents plus my partner, but I'd hope there will be some aspect of respect towards me still. I, myself, have many friends 8-10 years older than me. I guess It'll be more like her having an older friend..? I guess. Definitely something that I think will take time for me. Any suggestions? You can see Jesus radiating in you, and hearing you talk about things helps give me some confidence.
Question: Too many disciplinarians in a kids life is not good. Why doesbt your husband be the disciplinarian to his own son? A stepmom being a disciplinarian yields resentment
April murray here’s another video I did that shows what apps I use to create thumbnails and editing programs. I’ll be doing a part two soon to show more editing and camera stuff 😊 ua-cam.com/video/SgAFMG8sGy0/v-deo.html
I’m am shocked out how many ppl are so damn selfish and babies crying about not being the first, acting like you have to “survive” your step kids what you’re surviving is your own selfishness and f*+>! Priorities. I’m over here researching ways to bond with my stepchild and I stumble on grown ups acting like bullies and kids. The majority of you are pathetic and don’t deserve the roles you’ve been blessed with. The majority of you will contribute to the childhood trauma your stepchildren will be trying to heal from in their adulthood. I pray for all them. My flippin gosh.
Ok I’m not being rude but my husband has a 12 yo... I will never see that child as mine it’s the god honest truth. I love my husband & his son is sweet but also he’s 12 It’s be different if his son was like less than 10
And what are u going to do if he divorces you and moves on to wife number 3? You realize you have no legal claim to this child. You have no legal right to raise as you please if the biological mother and or the father does not want u to do something. If the boy tells his mother something and she doesn't like it she can claim helll on you. Watch.
woah. in Jesus name i rebuke this message. I pray for this Sydney , her husband and their children, Lord bless them, keep them as you already do. this marriage is under your covenant till death do the part. in Jesus name i pray. Amen
All this rambling about how to be and how to be that in that listen at the end of the day have your kids later in life this man clearly had his kid at like 21 generally for women no guy wants to touch you once you have children they will use you like a piece of meat but they don't want the responsibility a lot of people don't want to take on responsibility of other people's kids it's hard enough to take care of our own! Even adoption is very rare so how can a step parent be in abundance? I see what it does to kids I see how it rips families apart how mothers and fathers choose the new family over the previous marriage child step kids are generally disinherited the laws don't work in their favors think twice It is really intendant for one man and 1 woman to stay together and raise their kids together
i struggle SO much with knowing i'm the second woman, because all i think about is how i wasn't the first and that the first woman will always be in my husbands life :(
ME TOOOOO!!! Ugh
🤣🤣 girls I have been the first and the second listen your husband doesn’t give a shit about his baby mama and that’s what kills her deep down inside your the one he “changed “ for think about it your the winner 😘🥰
Exactly 😕
What in the literal f$@@! like grow the hell up you’re the second in every relationship unless you found your significant other in elementary school. The amount of crybabies in this world is uncanny!
@@raeo7963 stop the cap
I'm not married but my SO's daughter visits occasionally (maybe two weekends a month), so I'm around her perhaps not regularly, but often enough to have an influence. My biggest thing I've learned is to disengage from anything that doesn't immediately concern me. SO wants to give SD an unholy amount of candy? Go right ahead. Don't stress yourself out over things you have no control over. Also, I don't view myself as SD's bonus mom or anything besides her dad's live in partner. I play with her when I can, engage with her, etc., but I don't see myself as her mom or even a mom figure because she doesn't live with us full time so I have very little influence over her.
I personally liked this video because I myself am a step mom so I can relate. One main thing I have an issue adjusting to is the different parenting styles bc I have two children already and I’m big on discipline, and him... not so much and I never want to overstep him, but it’s very necessary!
So sorry! I’m late, didn’t see the comment I guess now that I’m on UA-cam studio I can see more lol
But I agree! The two parenting styles is hard for us & probably even harder on the child. But there’s always compromising!
I’m in a similar boat. My boyfriends daughter is 10. When I ask her to shower she asks him to shower in the morning and he always says yes. Cleanliness is important. One week I didn’t wanna feel like I was wasting my breath. She went for two showers in a school week Because he didn’t ask her. He has no rules for her what so ever Cept bed at 9. No other rules. It’s so so hard because I grew up cleaning up after myself doing chores at the age of 8. I was cleaning up everting she ever touched for a whole year untill I felt like I was suffocating so now I ask her to clean up after herself but he doesn’t enforce it very much :/. He lets her walk all over car seats, wears a jumper to bed with the fan and air con on. If I had a kid. They would be putting their rubbish in the bin before the age of 10. My 6 yr old sister came over one day and asked me where the bin was. I was so proud I wanted to almost cry. 😅
I’m having a deep difficult time in this journey I don’t have kids but the man I’m with now has two suns he’s a single father. Idk why I feel out of place
Your stepkids have 2 parents, it seems like the discipline should be delegated to your husband. Would you want another disciplining your child?
@@traceyboswell By that logic, so is everything else delageted to the husband. The stepmom isn't obligated to feed that child or pay any portion of bills that child used in their house. You can't expect a stepparent to be there for everything else except discipline. That is when I back off and mind my business totally. Let the mama and daddy deal with their own precious perfect little angel.
Nice. Being a step parent is not easy to love and care for a child as your own takes maturity & courage for sure
E and Lo definitely so, it’s something you learn and grow into 🥰 thanks for watching! 💕
Beyond what realistically most people have
Thank you. I’m taking that as a win
I always said I’d never be with a man who has a child but damn my boyfriend has a daughter and it hurts cause I wanted my first child to be my mans first child, crushed dreams 💔💔 ps. I love his daughter.
Sameeeeee my dreams are crushed too and my stubbornness won’t let me open up to his daughter and actually connect 😩
It's nice you gave him a chance anyway
@@sailorqvlogs how are things going for you?
How are things going for you?
If you don’t want a man that has a child, then why would you entertain that person until there is a point of feelings and a relationship???
I’m a stepmom too. I know it’s tough because the kids biological mom and family will always be around. And there’s the risk of it not working out. So...yeah, it takes love and patience; something that is really stretching my mind to new and unbelievable horizons as far as mentality about this. I love you sharing this. There’s days that I’m like I’m done! But I love my husband, and we are both in communication about this struggle and to make it work.
Thank you!
Leave no piece of d ick should cause that much trouble
This is definitely is all new to me. My partner has two with the newest daughter one month before us 😭 Stressful because of the new daughter mother making his life hell. So a new baby and new baby mother as his girlfriend I get all the heat from him on top of two girls.
P.S. I love his daughters 😍 it’s the adults that make it awkward
I’ve watched this video twice! I am dating someone who is a full time dad and this really helped me a lot; my friends don’t seem to understand as their not in this situation…although there intentions are great, their advice is “opinionated &
bias vs real life experiences”; This has helped me realize that I am willing to continue dating him and see where this goes…Thank you for this advice❤️
My stepdaughter is killing me she doesn't respect me or she doesn't want to clean up behind herself it's so much. I don't get help from my wife at all
You're very mature about this. I wish I could have been as mature as you when I met my ex. I was just trying to figure out how to be a mother to my own child. Then, I had 6 more and 2 baby mamas to deal with instantly. 🤯. That situation has ended but like you said, God gives you lessons to humble and teach you.
The Marvelous Beauty Channel you’re right lol 6 children and 2 baby moms is a lot to take in all at once 😩 obviously it was too much to handle. And being honest with what you can handle is so important to your mental health! Although it didn’t work out with him, I pray god will send you someone Better and prepare you for it 💕👏🏾😊
@@SydneyClarisse Oh I have received the better and there are no kids or baby mamas involved!! 😂🤷🏾♀️
Questions: how was the initial meet & greet between the two? Was there a formal meeting when you were his gf??
I pray to God everyday that he blesses his kids and I to have a respect for each other, let my bond and his kids bond with me to grow, and that we love each other. I want to love his kids like I love my own child.
My bf has a new baby otw & him and the baby mother are actually on good terms… & im also on good terms with his bbymother she tells me how she loves that im his gf bc she would feel safe with her daughter being around
Me and how she believes her daughter is gon love me & he tells me bt their conversations everytime they talk all the time but i still be scared that i might always come second to him or one day he will just decide to be with her and be a family
How did it work out? That’s super risky getting involved with a man who has a baby on the way with another woman
Great video Syd! This is a great tool for people that are looking for some guidance on this topic. I think it takes a very mature and strong person to step into a relationship where kids from a previous relationship are involved. So kuddos to you and everyone that step into that role. At the end of the day it’s about the babies and their well being ❤️
Cass C. Exactly 💕 it’s all about the babies involved and what works best for them regardless of how the adults feel! Thanks for the comment, love ya girl! 😬👏🏾
You have very mature insights for your age. Kids are young, and cannot be expected to be small adults cognitively. They want peace, and have guilt with believing that love is finite.
Thanks for being so kind and real, like I love your authenticity and your heart.
Im 22 dating a 30 year old who moved to houston from Chicago ( for about 2years now) , he has 3 kids by 2 different women and is an “active” father who contributes, but i looked this video up to see what i could possibly be getting my self into , I personally dont want to have any kids of my own . we talk about them (his kids) coming down for summer when they are older in the future and take trips back tho chi to go visit them and his family. but your video help me identify what would be my role 💯
Thanks for this video. This helps a lot. I admire how open and understanding you are handling this situation. I just met my 3yr old step daughter last week, we are still on the transition process which is overwhelming to the child and i guess to me. Lol. Its confusing and im going on a roller coaster emotions with everything rn. This help me to stop to overthink of the situation and just be the best that i can be. More power to your channel. ❤️
Thank you for this!! There are way not enough videos like this one in the internet - this shit is difficult af and any help and any person that is in a similar situation is helpful! THANK YOU ❤
I’m not a step parent but gurl I feel yo pain!
Gurl I learned a hella lot and I’m not even a stepparent. Great video love #HG
Lol I’m glad! Thanks for watching love!
Everything you said was absolutely real & genuine ✨! Thank GOD for you because so many people go through things & try to it their way & not understand that we lean on GODs understanding not our own! So I want to tell you , keep doing what you are doing & spreading the love 💕
Thank you for making this video. It’s super helpful with gaining a perspective of the next journey coming in my life! 💕
Hey girl, DM me if you would like ! I need more stepmom friends. @iammquay_
Thank you so much for being real!!
Love your perspective on this!!!
THANK YOU FOR BOTH THIS VIDEO AND THE BABY MAMA VIDEO. YOU SAID SO MANY THINGS THAT I DID NOT EVEN CONSIDER. THIS VIDEO HAS OPENED MY EYES TO WHAT AND HOW TO PREPARE MYSELF FOR MOVING FORWARD. THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. XOXOXOXOXOX
there is nothing that can prepare you for this life
Thank you for this video, it’s so relatable🙏🏽❤️
First off, I want to say that my partner and I are both Christians.
I'm in a weird position. My partner is planning on marrying me at the end of summer. He's 10 years older and had an accidental child when he was 19. She's not really in the picture much as her mom had kept her from him for years. She's only 9 years younger than me and I have no idea how that will go if she comes back into his life. I have no kids but want them in the future. Trying to let God take over my emotions about it. I have no intentions of trying to be a step-mom to her as she already has two parents plus my partner, but I'd hope there will be some aspect of respect towards me still. I, myself, have many friends 8-10 years older than me. I guess It'll be more like her having an older friend..? I guess. Definitely something that I think will take time for me. Any suggestions?
You can see Jesus radiating in you, and hearing you talk about things helps give me some confidence.
I see you sis ❤️ #HG
KEYZ STORY #HG fasho! Lol
Thank you for making this video ❤
thank you soul much for this
Thanks for this video!!!
Thank you for the information
Girl.... I need a storytime
Thanks 🙏🏽 ❤
Question: Too many disciplinarians in a kids life is not good. Why doesbt your husband be the disciplinarian to his own son? A stepmom being a disciplinarian yields resentment
Nice
Thank you sm for this 😭😭
How did u make your intro
April murray here’s another video I did that shows what apps I use to create thumbnails and editing programs.
I’ll be doing a part two soon to show more editing and camera stuff 😊
ua-cam.com/video/SgAFMG8sGy0/v-deo.html
I’m am shocked out how many ppl are so damn selfish and babies crying about not being the first, acting like you have to “survive” your step kids what you’re surviving is your own selfishness and f*+>! Priorities. I’m over here researching ways to bond with my stepchild and I stumble on grown ups acting like bullies and kids. The majority of you are pathetic and don’t deserve the roles you’ve been blessed with. The majority of you will contribute to the childhood trauma your stepchildren will be trying to heal from in their adulthood. I pray for all them. My flippin gosh.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ok I’m not being rude but my husband has a 12 yo... I will never see that child as mine it’s the god honest truth. I love my husband & his son is sweet but also he’s 12
It’s be different if his son was like less than 10
Please exit the relationship because you already have bad intentions. I hope your husband sees through your bs and divorces your ass
It's virtually impossible to love a kid of your partner as yours. No one needs to love another but there needs to be respect.
No one wants to hear the ugly truth. But it's the truth and it's uncomfortable.
And what are u going to do if he divorces you and moves on to wife number 3? You realize you have no legal claim to this child. You have no legal right to raise as you please if the biological mother and or the father does not want u to do something. If the boy tells his mother something and she doesn't like it she can claim helll on you. Watch.
woah. in Jesus name i rebuke this message. I pray for this Sydney , her husband and their children, Lord bless them, keep them as you already do. this marriage is under your covenant till death do the part. in Jesus name i pray. Amen
@@wehipeace yeah that applies to the first marriage! 1 marriage not the 2nd, 3rd, 4th
tbh. as a mom I don't believe in dating people with kids. that way my child is the ONLY child in the relationship. ijs
if you was my step mom i would show you love you would get a hug and a kiss 😁
All this rambling about how to be and how to be that in that listen at the end of the day have your kids later in life this man clearly had his kid at like 21 generally for women no guy wants to touch you once you have children they will use you like a piece of meat but they don't want the responsibility a lot of people don't want to take on responsibility of other people's kids it's hard enough to take care of our own! Even adoption is very rare so how can a step parent be in abundance? I see what it does to kids I see how it rips families apart how mothers and fathers choose the new family over the previous marriage child step kids are generally disinherited the laws don't work in their favors think twice It is really intendant for one man and 1 woman to stay together and raise their kids together