@@Karl_Drogo55 you wouldn't last as President heh ... if he were actually trying to get him he would have normal pieces and killer pieces and know which they were obviously.
@@callidusvulpes5556 it’s not that hard of a concept but it also looked like they faked grabbing one and putting it into their mouth especially the second one
It's funny because really Putin's paranoidal fear of everything should be a subject of medical science. Pooping in a suitcase so no one can steal your poop... that's serious problems
Just imagine the assassin and the other guy is actually on a suicide mission and just eating to convince Putin that its safe to eat and knowing they'll die too.... And Putin refuses... And they just.... Die.....
@@plasmathingy1432 ok but that kinda sounds like what's happening in the video. I don't know much about the actual story so I'm just trying to figure out what's going man, no need to be a dick
@@Redfrog1011a joke is something that you say or do to make people laugh, for example a funny story that you tell I can't tell jokes. She's always cracking jokes. They often make jokes at each other's expense. The kids in that class are always looking to play a joke on the teacher. I didn't get the joke (= understand it). I wish he wouldn't tell dirty jokes (= about sex). a sick joke (= about death, disease, etc.) as a joke I only did it as a joke (= it was not meant seriously). joke about somebody/something Have you heard the joke about the elephant and the mouse?
He remembered his mother's warning about taking candies from strangers.
dont think a stranger would stand so close to russias president
Putin's mother does not tell him to not take candy from strangers, Putin tells his mom that
@@ricarbo.
Oh gawd😨
Uhh reds sus
This is a good one
He smiled as if to say: "I wasn't born yesterday"
@Bruno Sousa lol I mean he gives some to the guy to his left first before him though
@@Karl_Drogo55 you wouldn't last as President heh ... if he were actually trying to get him he would have normal pieces and killer pieces and know which they were obviously.
@@Karl_Drogo55 Bruh man
@@dc1939 yea, because life is a 1960s spy movie.
@@callidusvulpes5556 it’s not that hard of a concept but it also looked like they faked grabbing one and putting it into their mouth especially the second one
When Graham Bell invented Telephone, there was already a missed call from Putin
😜😜
So underrated
Omggg
😂😂😂
this one
When Putin forgets a word, they remove it from dictionary
😂
😂😂
Well not really but carry on
@@AdhvaithSane such a party pooper
@@PrabhablyAGoodUA-camrWell not really but carry on
He needs to putin some effort.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Damn
Top comment
Put in
@@epiccars5440 no putin
When Putin is late to school, his teachers apologize for being early.
nice one
Lmao ‼️
siiick:v
Lmmmaooooi
In america the teacher gives putin a warning for bad behavior. In Russia Putin gives warning to teacher.
As a single child, it must have been hard for Putin to raise both parents
As a kid with brain damage from the umbilical cord around your neck as a baby, it must be very hard for your parents to see trash suffering.
Comment ur af
Good shit bro
In Mother Russia, parents don't raise the child, the child raises the parents
Putin Sleeps with lights on because the darkness is scared of him
😜😜
Underrated
😂😂😂
💀
Shame we're changing chuck norris jokes with putin
Assassin: " Would you like a poison?"
Putin: " No, Ive already had three this morning. Have to watch my diet"
lmao this is the best one 👌
#accurate
Diet. Lol
@3rc ammmmm... wtf , oh sorry- tf
Its kinda true if you have small amount of poison daily you can become immune to poison
If you're going to be assassinated just say no, they can't kill you without your consent.
Kuya Cardo wait hol up we
Kuya Cardo wat u saying
Kuya Cardo ?!?!?!?’?’?!?!?!? ?!?’?
Jokes aside the current Mexican president says "If you are being robbed just say no and that'll shoo 'em away"
then im screwed
but not really
When putin has a bodyguard, the bodyguard feels safe
💃💃
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
It's funny because really Putin's paranoidal fear of everything should be a subject of medical science. Pooping in a suitcase so no one can steal your poop... that's serious problems
@@BigChiken44 when you've been Russia's ruler for the past 20 years, you become a paranoid
@@JoaoPedro-kp5pxyeah, because he's human, im pretty sure if he was invincible as he wishes he wouldn't give a faq
When Putin reads a book, the book gains knowledge.
Hate to say it but, underrated
😂😂
Not sure how useful the knowledge is considering how Putin’s invasion is going
LOL
He also won the tour de france using a stationary bike
Two things you can’t choose
1. Your parents
2. President of Russia
Yes
@Beau Aidan by what standard? Most HIV in Europe? The rest of us just laugh at you.
@@patrickjones8255 yeah im sure the rest of the EU has a lot to laugh about
But if you are 2. then you can choose 1.
@P G Same here in Brazil 😕
when he calls the wrong number, the person apologizes for being the wrong person
Underrated
holy sh*t...best.. :D
Bruhhh
More likes 😂
🤣🤣🤣
When Putin enters your home, you are the guest
So he’s a cat then?
@@johananas8407nice
@@johananas8407 you still alive?
@@DrMeetPatel Yeah, I’m good. Thank you lol
Good one
When Putin installs a software, they agree to his terms.
Underrated comment 😂😂
@@Carrillophotography exactly what i was thinking lol
The man does not even know how to use a computer. Get over it.
@@patrikrenmark2010get over what?
@@patrikrenmark2010It's just a joke. Get over it.
Then he turned himself into a wide men. Funniest shit i've ever seen.
I like this comment
I like this comment
I don’t like this comment
@@dimasgonzalez363 you ruined it
Mac N Butter Yeah but I still like this comment
Expectations: A sniper bullet misses Putin by inches.
Reality: Wanna eat some candy?
That's what I expected to 🤣🤣
Me too lol
Same doe
@inglourious Basterd he most likely wouldn't be able to get close enough with a gun.
inglourious Basterd no what he is saying is that his security wouldn’t allow the assassin pass with a gun but would most likely let some chocolate go
Putin goes to McDonalds and the ice-cream machine starts working
underrated comment fr😂
Ain't no way , even the ice cream machine becomes comead ice when it sees putin
Underrated 😂
Top comment
There is no McDonalds in russia 😊
ChatGPT isn’t AI - it’s Putin typing back to you.
😮
@@cherryvodka9621 it’s Putin typing back AT you. He doesn't type TO Anybody!
@@elchinpirbabayev5757 Who?
@elchinpirbabayev5757 read the room bud
When Putin late to school, his teacher apologized for being early.
When Putin sees someone copying another comment
He kills them
Lmao imagine copying a comment
🤣🤣🤣
Stolen comment
The school starts when Putin enters the building and the teachers get paid when Putin feels like it
When putin enters your house, he gives you the wifi password.
He enters my house and I asked him politely if I can use the toilet or not.
He serves you as the guest
@@bayurukmanajati1224 Ngakak bangkeeee LOL 😂😂😂😂
He entered the house and asked the residents to come in
Cringe
when putin visits the doctor the doctor feels better
Man: *shares his jelly beans with his homies*
Title: Putin assassination attempt
It was poisoned to kill him
You’re one of those woke idiots right?
@@FBI72110 Yanukovych was an ally of him so why would he kill him
@@qksf1645 why wouldn't he? Never heard of betrayal???
@@qksf1645He was bought ,if you look Medvedev does'nt eat the candy ,he pretends he is eating it .
Putin is the type of guy that reads the whole terms & agreements and clicks “I disagree”
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😅😅 That's actually funny
😂😂😂😂
And still continues
Dedd
*Spolier alert*: They don’t get him next time either.
*won't
SaViTaR The Real God Of Speed can’t*
There is no next time lmao
This guy is smart
Putin.
dude stop spoiling
When Putin walks, he doesn’t walk, he pushes the Earth with his feet.
😂😂
That's actually how walking works tho 💀
u mean the earth rotates arund him
Putin doesnt have nightmares. Nightmares have Putin.
Lol
lol
When putin makes a grammatical mistake. The dictionary corrects itself
No, the incorrect word becomes the new word
I love this comment
Bruh
this is my favorite
Good one
Assassin: *tries to kill Putin with a snack*
Putin: "No thank you."
The snack: "Years of academy training wasted."
@3rc Nice cant even click it ops i spoile it
@3rc oohhh I get how it works now
Why did I read that in a Russian accent.
@@AceSpadesStudios don't ask questions.
3rc I see what u did there 👀
When Putin blinks, his eyelids apologize for blocking his vision.
When putin goes to park for jogging the park gets healthier
LOL
Just imagine the assassin and the other guy is actually on a suicide mission and just eating to convince Putin that its safe to eat and knowing they'll die too.... And Putin refuses... And they just.... Die.....
😂😂😂😂 lmao
Shoot is that what actually happened here?
That would be epic and best Putin moment ever, dostum oha lan.
@@shinobix4925 read the first two words in the comment
@@plasmathingy1432 ok but that kinda sounds like what's happening in the video. I don't know much about the actual story so I'm just trying to figure out what's going man, no need to be a dick
When Putin was born, he named himself and congratulated his parents
Respect
🤣🤣top comment
🤣
after he was born he drove his mom home from the hospital
Reminds me of this: ua-cam.com/video/PtAmkrLdMeU/v-deo.html
“Honey, what should we call him?”
“Hmm, let’s see...”
“Vladimir Putin.”
“He talked?!?”
Putin in his head: *Oh, damn it! I really wanted candy, but papa and mama told me never to accept candy from strangers.*
Babushka
he's not a stranger to putin
@@corvte6676 Yeah, he is more like a Putin's puppet 😅
Putin would give a headbutt to a sniperbullet.
Damn putin still remembers what his mother taught him not to take candy from a stranger
in a month, this comment will get 1k likes ngl
Yep
In a year this gets 100k likes,lol
94 Already lol
👣
When putin was born, he slapped the doctor for not crying.
Best comment so far 😂😂😂
Underrated
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣best one yet
😂😂😂😂😂👍
I’m loving it
When putin enters a website, he asks website to accept the cookies💀
🤣🤣🤣
Death once had a near-Putin experience.
When Putin's little toe hits a corner, the corner cries in pain
i'm dead😂😂
Why are the funniest jokes the least liked?? Bruh.
No mans that strong I’m afraid
OUR comments right?
@@theveryultimatechannelofdo4530 how wrong of you to assume that Putin is an average human being. YOU HAVE BEEN SENTENCED TO THE GULAG!!!!
Putin was a Virgin birth. His mother was Mother Russia.
Damn right
when he was born he came out of the frozen water and fight with a bear according to what they say.
This is the best one on here *bows*
A blatant lie. Everybody knows Mother Russia's been fucked several times throughout history.
@@jdbq2000 11 actually
When the monster goes to bed at night, they check under the bed for Putin
When putin was a child strangers were told not to talk with him.
😂😂
🤣🤣
One of the best bro
Lol
Nice
When Putin graduated, the university got a degree
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
this is the one right here
Lit
ara ara
🤣
Putin never dials the wrong number...you just picked up the wrong phone
When Putin does push ups, he is actually bench pressing the planet.
When Putin chops onions, the onions start to cry.
That’s dark tho
#justiceforonions
#justiceforonions
As they should
I would cry too if i was bring slaughtered in half
He's the type of guy who can Kill fish by drowning it
Underrated
Underrated
Underrated
O bhai .... 😅
Lit
😂😂😂😂
When Putin walks in dark but he can't see sun automatically appears.
when Putin walks in the dark, the dark can't see
When Putin moved out from his parent's house, he said to his father, "Now you're the man of the house".
Assassin: "Would you like a treat?"
Putin: "No thank you"
The treat: "Thank goodness I'm still alive"
Jefferson Rylee underrated comment
Putin: So am I too, u can't kill a Putin even if you try too haha
It's not assassin, it's Yanukovytch
This might be the worst attempt at comedy I’ve ever seen
Putin is confirmed Templar
When Putin showed up late, everyone apologized for being on time.
lmao
copied comment
lol
@@nordanshat2708 i see your new to the internet
@@nordanshat2708 a copy of a copied comment of some guys who said "copied comment"
When Putin takes a shower and scrubs himself with soap, the soap gets cleaned
When Putin jumps up, the earth moves down for him.
That’s just how jumping works lmao read a physics book
@@Redfrog1011a joke is something that you say or do to make people laugh, for example a funny story that you tell
I can't tell jokes.
She's always cracking jokes.
They often make jokes at each other's expense.
The kids in that class are always looking to play a joke on the teacher.
I didn't get the joke (= understand it).
I wish he wouldn't tell dirty jokes (= about sex).
a sick joke (= about death, disease, etc.)
as a joke I only did it as a joke (= it was not meant seriously).
joke about somebody/something Have you heard the joke about the elephant and the mouse?
When Putin leaves his grandparents, he sneaks 20$ into their pockets.
ok
ok
that's nice of him
Why
😂😂😂😂😂😂
When Putin was a child, adults were told not to take candy from him.
Lmao I can't stop laughing at this 🤣🤣👌
This has to be th best
Damn😂😂😂😂
He was like johan libert
This was good. 😝👍🏻
When a hacker tries to hack putin's phone,
The phone hacks the hacker.
Thats true actually
When a pack of gum almost changed an entire timeline.
Putin doesn't flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it
Lmao
Im dead 😭😭😭🤣
Bahahahaha
Now, that's a good one lmao
Fuck nice one
these comments i cant 😂
Bro that is Yanucovich he just offered him a gum
When Vladimir Putin was in school, the teachers would ask him if they could go to the toilet
😂😂😂
😂😂
And he would say, "I don't know, CAN you?"
😂😂😂
🤣
"Candy."
Putin: Nyet.
"Blyat."
We failed
"Da"
Blyat
Blyat
Blyat
Blyat
Putin is the type of guy to bring a mattress to a pillow fight
“Assasination sir?”
“No thank you”
In mother Russia, Putin doesn't take out the trash, the trash takes out itself.
Escews meh,whear tha fewk is pewtin?
“Let me see Putin.
“Wtf your literally bacon how are you talking?”
So you mean the Russia of the Tzar?
Putin the gay icon. We love him 💕
@Antonio Perez puding
When Putin listens to music on Spotify, the artist gets the ads
😂
putin video’s comments are the best 😂😂
Just get premium
This one takes the cake
Stolen
2 weeks later: that same guys “ tragically falls down the stairs” 😂
The cameraman: falls out of a window”
The other guy: “tragically coughs up his entire respiratory system”
Putin wears a jacket so the jacket doesn't feel cold
Putin’s parents are called Putin jr.
🤣
😂😂🤣🤣
😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Glorious
One day putin forgot to go to office that day is now called sunday
When Putin plays cricket,Umpire gets out
When Putin was little and it was his bedtime, he tucked his parents to sleep.
I read this wrong the 1st time😅
He put his parents to sleep.
Literally laughed out loud
@@farmerwithshotgun1293 took me 3 reads u realise is tuck not fuck
@@bluhbluhbluh9161 BROOoOOO💀
When Putin goes to the gym, steroids use him to get stronger
If the sun is in Putin‘s eyes, the sun relocates itself somewhere else.
*Stranger: Hey Putin . Want some poison?*
*Putin: No thanks just had it in the morning*
💀💀
What?
what do you mean?
@@bruhdude6712 vadka
@@Chad_Golden oh ok, I just didn't understand cause it wasn't a drink in the video
Thought I'd try one:
When Putin enters private property, the owners are arrested for trespassing.
Gd one 😂
🔥
LOL
good
Good one you can try another one,this one has passed the test😁😁😁
When Putin enters a room, he doesnt turn the lights on, he turns the dark off
“They never had us, not gonna lie” -Putin
18
47
51
13
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@3rc but why do I have to click the link? Ooops...
@3rc why?
@3rc its the link to this video lol
Putin's mother has a tattoo that says "SON"
Putin was like "You won't fool me! I'm 2 parallel universes ahead of you".
Putin Skipped 2 days of school, those days are now known as Saturday and Sunday
Putin skips months of school, whole world is now in lockdown
@@tronalddump6768 lol wtf
This was creative 😂
Loll
That’s the thing now. Chuck Norrising Putin is in now?
Assassin: Snack?
Putin: dumb western spy, we only ever drink vodka here
😄😀😃😂😅
Poison in the vodka
@@aaron_rds1341 vodka is a poison
Aaron_rds he watches anime so hes immune
😂😂
When Putin plugs in the usb stick wrong, the whole world turn upside down just for him.
His heart is cold, his moves are bold
When Putin trips, the floor apologizes for getting in the way.
Bold of you to assume he would trip and the earth wouldn't automatically adjust itself to his liking.
Lol
Or you just hate Putin
He’s not going anywhere he’ll probably be pres longer than it would take someone to go to Mars
Demons hate Putin
Devil demons their witches witchcraft be cancelled everywhere in the name of Jesus Christ!
spent 19 seconds watching the video, and 15 min laughing at the comments
#1915neveragain
Ya , honestly 😂😂
Facts
Mee too
Im dying
When Putin gets stopped for speeding he lets the police off with a warning
Putin: lol noob
I tink da term yu are lookink for iz ‘noobski’ comrad Norsk ;)
Ha ha ha
Mr Norsk Boon
Perfect
@Kyell Jongepier Whats your problem.
When putin was a kid"
" He told his parents they were adopted "
Horrible quotation placement
Damn your writing is horrible.
@Dilusiun no you
Good one lol
@Dilusiun you his boyfriend ?
When Putin eats a mint, the mint gets fresher
Putin don't take candy from random stranger
In Russia the kids tell their parent to not accept candies from strangers.
Seriously?
Nice pp
@@haruharara The joke was kids tell their parents not to accept candy from parents not the other way round
Every fucking parent tells their kids that
@@rico6719 read the sentence again "kids tell their parent"
"
When putin falls over the ground gets hurt😂
When Putin smiles we’re at peace.
When Putin was a kid, he educated his teachers.
😂😂😎
Underated
Dude why i see this "underrated" reply in every single comment on this video
@@kenny47 it mean putin
the fact thats what i did when i was in primary school
Assassin: Hey man can I assassinate you?
Putin: Sorry not in the mood at the moment
Assassin: Oh okay
- BigBoy - copy paste
?
- BigBoy - you stole someone comment...
Apologies, I didn't mean to do that
No, mate I legit didn’t mean to do that
When putin goes fishing, the fishes surrender their lives to become his food.
When Putin looks at the mirror he cannot see his reflection because there is only 1 Putin
ok this is the best 👍 one
Well played. lol
😂 😂 😂 😂
Well he looks like the Nosferatu,it is normal when you are a vampire
Underrated AF 💯