I had to get a restraining order - my story...

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
  • A few years ago I had to go through the process of filing for and getting a restraining order against a very dangerous person...this is my story.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 471

  • @FootlessJo
    @FootlessJo  4 роки тому +94

    I apologize for the glitching video and audio around 9:09! There was a part I edited out, thanks to the wise words of a few Footless Jo community members. 😊💜
    THANK YOU, all, so much for your incredible support with this video and my story. I was honestly nervous to post it, and the response has been so uplifting and encouraging. I’m truly so grateful - thank you! 💜
    -Jo

    • @sydnellia
      @sydnellia 4 роки тому +4

      Footless Jo yay to keeping yourself safe!!!! we r proud of u for doing what was best for you, jo!!

    • @V.KirishimaCrimsonChaos
      @V.KirishimaCrimsonChaos 4 роки тому +3

      Never noticed anything out of normal. Still a great video to watch as well as informative.

    • @phoebebrunt4386
      @phoebebrunt4386 4 роки тому +5

      You may want to hide the comments alluding to the removed section too x

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому +10

      @@phoebebrunt4386 Thank you! I thought I had actually - I'll go back through and make sure it is clean! SO appreciate you watching out for me!!

    • @MsTinkerbelle87
      @MsTinkerbelle87 2 роки тому

      Your dog is like your ESA!

  • @SomeYouTubeGuy
    @SomeYouTubeGuy 4 роки тому +372

    I was a taxi driver for sixteen years and I met a young lady who was in a DV relationship. I told her I wouldn't push her to do anything but the day she decided she wanted to leave to call me and I would come and get her, day or night. One day she called and I picked her up and drove her to her mums house (no charge if anyone wonders) and dropped her off. Three months later my phone rang and it was her mum. She explained who she was and told me they had just left the court where she had successfully obtained a restraining order, she was going to community college and doing a hairdressing apprenticeship. Mum just wanted to thank me for being there and helping her daughter. I didn't do anything really. It was her daughter that decided enough was enough and that she wanted to change.

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому +52

      That made me tear up, Nathaniel. Thank you for sharing. 💜 I’m so glad that you were a part of her safely getting away and to a better life. You made a difference.

    • @jeffsyvertsen
      @jeffsyvertsen 4 роки тому +27

      You most certainly DID do something. You made it possible for that young lady to break away from the horrors of domestic violence.

    • @davidhollenshead4892
      @davidhollenshead4892 4 роки тому +31

      Year ago at a service station, I witnessed the interaction between a single mother who was probably leaving an abusive relationship and a Police Officer. Her sun glasses & makeup didn't hide the black eye or the fat lip. But the big problem was her car, which was in very dangerous condition. Since I was a mechanic I knew that the steel belts showing on the front tires indicated that it needed two ball joints replaced before the front suspension collapsed. I didn't see her drive up, but her car was probably all over the freeway...
      The long & short of it was the Officer said that he would have to impound her car, or she could let him pay for the repairs at the service station, as it was not safe for her & her child. It took her a minute to comprehend that he was only concerned about their safety, as she was not going to make it to her sisters home on the West Coast without about few hundred in repairs & a pair of tires. The only thing the Officer wanted from her was a phone call to tell him she made it safely to her sisters...
      So @UCYLuFecwSgoZPp8axT1YJvg, not only are there people like us, but some of them went into Law Enforcement for that very reason...

    • @boredgrass
      @boredgrass 4 роки тому +7

      Taxidriver is an underrated job! ;-)

    • @katharinalovepeace3588
      @katharinalovepeace3588 4 роки тому +8

      May God the Almighty bless you endlessly! It could have gone very different for her if you hadn’t reached out to her, might be you safed her life.

  • @CassBeaz
    @CassBeaz 4 роки тому +236

    I love the “here are German Shepard’s” disclaimer. More people need to do this. Thank you for sharing your story! It is so difficult getting out of an abusive relationship and going to authorities.

  • @inkystellar9501
    @inkystellar9501 4 роки тому +63

    I was sexually assaulted as a child. Since I was a minor they had me speak to my therapist in a recorded session. He asked questions and I answered. I was comfortable since I’d seen him for a while. That made the court process easy for me in Iowa as a minor.

  • @rabbitlovesraven
    @rabbitlovesraven 4 роки тому +1

    I totally relate to this video, thankfully I was not with my abuser for long, having watched my mom abused by my dad, the red flags with this person were more apparent to me, but I still ignored them till he nearly killed me one day...all I can say is NEVER and I mean NEVER ignore red flags, or think "this is as bad as it can ever get" because it can always get worse...and almost always does...

  • @Alex-ph5ir
    @Alex-ph5ir 4 роки тому +98

    Aww, when the puppy came over for cuddles when she thought you were upset it just melted my heart!

  • @DWPersianExcursion
    @DWPersianExcursion 4 роки тому +1

    Glamorous woman. Much love

  • @kirstenornelas881
    @kirstenornelas881 4 роки тому +1

    So glad you stood up for yourself and didn't just let things go. I'm so sorry you've been through it too,I was in a marriage for 9 years that was abusive in every way possible. I don't wish it on anyone. You're one strong woman that's for dam sure.

  • @MrMoshimoshi22
    @MrMoshimoshi22 4 роки тому +2

    For folks in MN, you write out an affidavit and meet privately with a judge to file. There is only a hearing if the defendant requests one within 45 days.

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому

      Wow - that's fantastic, and makes a lot of sense to me.

  • @TheCharliet43
    @TheCharliet43 4 роки тому +5

    I’m also a domestic violence, sexual and mental abuse survivor. I’m lucky that here in the UK the police handled everything and I didn’t have to go to court at all. No one unless they’ve been through something like that will understand the fear you have. The worry of them turning up in the night. So glad you were brave enough to stand up for yourself. 😘

  • @Bluejeans87
    @Bluejeans87 4 роки тому +61

    It’s great to see you’re in a place to partly open up about trauma and legal proceeding experiences like this, you’re smashing it! ❤️

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому +14

      That's so kind of you to say, Erin! Thank you so much! 💜

  • @DeidresStuff
    @DeidresStuff 4 роки тому +84

    My sister was "lucky." Her crazy ex had left these insane voicemails on my sister's friend's phone. The judge listened to them and that was it. She got the restraining order. That was how crazy the messages were.

    • @JeffsFreedomGarage
      @JeffsFreedomGarage 4 роки тому +5

      @Deidre Westover
      - Did the magic paper work make him stay away or did the crazy ex use the order as toilet paper and keep coming after her?

    • @אוריפלסי
      @אוריפלסי 4 роки тому

      @@JeffsFreedomGarage the question is if he was a real danger and wanted to murder her, would he be botheeed by a restraining order "can't kill her, might get arrested for violating the restraining order".

  • @ReadObituaries
    @ReadObituaries 4 роки тому +64

    Actually there is something called “Claire’s law” and it’s a law that states you can ask for domestic violence history on someone& they have to give that information. It’s technically public information, anyways, but they now have a law in place ti stop police from refusing.

    • @evcotter08
      @evcotter08 4 роки тому +12

      PiercedBitxh Aila this is in the UK, right? I think I saw a documentary about the woman whose murder resulted in this law. Being able to tell future partners about charges/convictions that someone has had against them is a powerful tool.

  • @phonepup06
    @phonepup06 2 роки тому +1

    We considered helping my grandma get a restraining order from an extremely toxic family member that shows up at her house at very strange hours, makes him drive her places, and has even given her address to some of his convict friends. The fact that you need to have that person at the court house with you makes it very difficult to get it; especially for someone with no address.

  • @KikiSpaghetti
    @KikiSpaghetti 4 роки тому +7

    When I was very young, someone did something bad to me. I didn't think it was bad enough to be worth the hassle of reporting it. I regret not taking action, but I was little. I know it wasn't my fault. I'm glad you took action; it's not easy regardless of filing charges or getting a restraining order, but you did something. No matter the outcome, you acted. We need more examples like you. Thank you for your courage and wisdom...and also the puppers. That shepherd lay down "sigh"...good times.

  • @janayapetteplace4712
    @janayapetteplace4712 4 роки тому +38

    The line "I would not allow myself to see abuse as abuse. I wasn't trained to see it as abuse" resonates so much with me. I was sexually abused and emotionally manipulated in my first relationship as a teenager. It took my 3 and a half years in that relationship to realize the abuse I was facing. Like you, I was kind and naive, I wanted to see the best in people and someone took advantage of that. I'm still working through the trauma I faced with a psychiatrist. Thank you for making this video

  • @kimmacdonald7527
    @kimmacdonald7527 Рік тому

    I totally understand how scary it is to go to court, not have money for a lawyer, knowing the other party has one and fight for your rights. My ex was a "don't get mad, get even" type personality. We had an 18 month old daughter who I needed to get custody of and child support for. Going into court each time I felt like I was going to throw up. I didn't go for a restraining order as my situation was different from yours, I can't imagine how much more traumatizing that was. Thanks for sharing your story Jo. ❤❤❤

  • @ravenrose6672
    @ravenrose6672 4 роки тому +36

    I am sad you went through that but glad you got the restraining order. My estranged husband was emotionally and mentally abusive and just recently sent me very threatening texts from hundreds of miles away. Its taken me 12yrs to finally be able to look back and see what a truly awful person he is. As soon as I get the money I am divorcing him. And yes I am in a safe place were he will never set foot in!

    • @raefrater4172
      @raefrater4172 4 роки тому +3

      Hey that's great! I hope everything goes to plan for you!!❤❤

  • @janicebranco8026
    @janicebranco8026 4 роки тому +1

    You are a strong person GOD Bless you but always be careful

  • @johndej
    @johndej 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you for sharing such a difficult story. I am glad that you have been able to move past that period and are able to use your experience to teach others. Some time ago, there was a documentary called "Second Assault" that dealt with the fact that victims who file charges so often have to go through the same experience again in order to have the case prosecuted. Some day perhaps, we can have a justice system that recognizes the trauma that victims experience and operates in such a way as to prevent the secondary effects. My wish for you is that you continue to heal from those events, and continue to share your story to help others. Sending respectful hugs!

  • @rachelplant1007
    @rachelplant1007 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for sharing this Jo. I know this couldn’t have been easy. I dealt with a similar situation years ago, however, I didn’t have to get a restraining order. I didn’t say anything for the longest time because I blamed myself. Through lots of therapy, I was able to realize what a horrible person this individual was. I regret that it took so long and the statute of limitations prevents me from pressing charges. I know in my heart I was not his only victim. Hopefully, your post will empower someone else in this situation to find the strength to take action.

  • @Madirox4sure111
    @Madirox4sure111 4 роки тому +3

    I’m so thankful for this video. I’m currently going through the same process of reporting assaults that happened 3 years ago and the legal system sucks. Thank you so much, this gave me a boost of energy to continue on with this💕

  • @MLA..
    @MLA.. 2 роки тому +1

    You speak very well, I'm sure you would have won the case if he would have showed up.

  • @m001034
    @m001034 4 роки тому +9

    Thank you for sharing your story. This one really resonates with me as I have been through two really bad abusive relationships. I used to fear for my life every second and now live in a different state than either one of them. I did have a restraining order against my daughter's father but it was only good for two years. I was a small, shy girl but I did stand up to him and his lawyers in court. Even after I won the case, he still stalked me at work, tried to poison me, banged in my car door, kicked in a fog light, and called the cops on me many times and tried to report me to child protective services and have me arrested for crimes I didn't commit. I knew that the restraining order could not fully protect me. I would be dead by the time the cops came. I did get into another relationship which turned out to be almost as bad. He tried threaten me with a loaded 9mm (hollow points) semiautomatic pistol and a kitchen knife. He was an alcoholic who kicked many holes in walls (and I became an expert at drywall repair.) Both men were emotionally and sexually abusive. I raised my daughter (now almost 15) alone. I feel bad that she had to witness a lot of this at a young age, but today, we are happy in our little house. For anyone who reads this, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    • @emilyshmemily8252
      @emilyshmemily8252 2 роки тому +2

      Thank you for sharing this. You are such a strong beautiful soul and I'm so happy you and your daughter are safe now

  • @cyberskelly2231
    @cyberskelly2231 4 роки тому +4

    My dad was verbally and physically abusive while I was growing up, it took me a very long time to realize it wasn't normal cause my old other friend also had an abusive father, so I thought it was normal.
    Now I'm on multiple medications for anxiety because of the way he treated me. I still live at home with him and I feel sick to my stomach hearing his voice, having to hug him, and when he says "I love you."
    Abuse is a horrible thing that no one should go through, but for everyone who's been through it, you may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's there, you've made it this far, don't give up, there are lots of people out there who will help you.

  • @bethroesch2156
    @bethroesch2156 4 роки тому +1

    A similar situation happened to me, at 47!!! You don't have to be young to make a foolish mistake. I also went into court without a lawyer and I had to actually question him MYSELF when he tried to fight it. I was TERRIFIED but it only took 2 questions for him to raise his voice and make my case for me. It's so hard to make the decision to leave, report, testify but it's what can save our lives. It's uncomfortable, unpleasant and sometimes horribly frustrating. No one deserves to be hurt. You just have to decide when it's enough. Thank you for sharing your story 🙏🏼❤️ we are all deserving of love and real love doesn't hurt

  • @evcotter08
    @evcotter08 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your story. The more open people are about things like this, the better. Shame flourishes in the darkness, and shining a light on abuse helps to improve our whole society.

  • @jeffsyvertsen
    @jeffsyvertsen 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you for sharing your personal story about your personal restraining order experience. I watched it from beginning to end, but I felt some kind of emotional antidote was needed. Thankfully, I recalled you mentioning a video link to adorable German Sheppard puppies. That was just what I needed!

  • @dustyprice6382
    @dustyprice6382 4 роки тому +4

    Been watching your channel a few days now but had to subscribe after this episode. You are an unmeasurably strong person and I appreciate your positive attitude to all you have been through. Your energy is so infectious and gives hope to those that might believe they can’t deal with issues anymore. Love the puppies and God bless

  • @aprilgeewhiz3814
    @aprilgeewhiz3814 4 роки тому +4

    Thank you for sharing your story. It’s important to hear what steps need to be taken to really get your voice heard.

  • @creativechaos6766
    @creativechaos6766 3 роки тому +1

    I had to leave Europe because I knew my ex partner would find me. After one year of Canada 🇨🇦,I came back I have adult children here. I live in a different city. It’s been 3 years but I am now just starting to working through it. I’m tired of hiding.

  • @afrisch202
    @afrisch202 4 роки тому +5

    Thank you so much for sharing this information. I was stalked for more than a year in high school, and I wish I had the courage to file a restraining order against that jerk. So glad you got out of that situation!!

  • @JoannaSergent
    @JoannaSergent 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for sharing your story. Been there too. Understand. Hugs and glad that you have moved on.

  • @SewFrancine6120
    @SewFrancine6120 4 роки тому +1

    Sending you a virtual hug my never met friend.
    The inner strength you share in your videos is remarkable carry on you will continue to WIN
    PRAYERS 🙏

  • @TimdeVisser86
    @TimdeVisser86 4 роки тому +2

    What fucks me up is the idea that people can be too traumatized to count as a reliable witness against their abuser, as far as the court is concerned. We need a better system for dealing with it.

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому +1

      Yeah. I couldn’t agree more. 💜

  • @Kiwiknas
    @Kiwiknas 4 роки тому +3

    Thanks for sharing your story and thanks for the Germen shepherds.

  • @Docmiller4425
    @Docmiller4425 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks for sharing your story. It has to be very hard on everyone who has to go to court and do this.

  • @brnidbuty
    @brnidbuty 4 роки тому +1

    When I was a child I was sexually abused. When I finally told my mom she got the police involved. I lived in Colorado Springs at the time and my case worker got me connected with TESSA. Sadly, my case also got dropped due to insufficient evidence. Later in life I was raped by my boyfriend at the time in Utah. When I reported it I was told that since I had consented in the past there was no way he could rape me. The officer told me next time I should think before I give consent. I always thought no meant no but I quickly found out that in Utah if you consent once then the word no can never be used again. Needless to say, I no longer trust the justice system at all when it comes to abuse.

  • @Anne-ambesten
    @Anne-ambesten 4 роки тому +2

    I didn't intend to watch this while video but it was compelling and I am so sorry people who have already been hurt so badly have to go through this to get some safety. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. I'm sure it helps others. It makes me so mad and sad that we can't continue to believe the best of everyone. I still kind of do, but there are qualifications.

  • @malloryavocado
    @malloryavocado 4 роки тому +3

    3 years ago i was raped by a “friend” and after it happened he showed up to my work and tried to call me and text me. so i had to change my number, and i eventually quit that job and made all my social media private. there are still some days i feel like he’s going to find me and i hope that day never comes. Thank you for sharing your story Jo💕

  • @paigecrosby4516
    @paigecrosby4516 2 роки тому +2

    I definitely relate to you in this. I have an ex, my daughters father, we have two domestics and everything… traumatizing. I found out I was pregnant when things were already so bad… it’s gotten better over years but it took a lot of court orders restraining orders and emotional and mental and physical trauma.
    ♥️ keep going strong 🤟🏻

  • @jeancassidy6103
    @jeancassidy6103 4 роки тому

    Your sweet dog is saying, "I understand, Mommy and I'm always here for you"! Pets are so special!

  • @toddcarpenter714
    @toddcarpenter714 4 роки тому

    My prayers go out for you. You have gone through so much. I pray that God grants you peace and healing.
    You are one strong and beautiful young woman! God bless you.

  • @jonburne1
    @jonburne1 4 роки тому +2

    Wow Jo! If your life experiences were military campaigns your chest would be heavy with bravery award medals. Inspiration and leadership by the bucket load.

  • @dakotasrocks
    @dakotasrocks 4 роки тому +2

    Today I had a public speaker in my Human Interactions class who talked about abusive relationships. I never really thought about the extent that they can go to until today. I am so sorry that it happened to you and great job with standing up for yourself! Many people don’t make it that far. Have a great day!

  • @Khaleesi_Tess
    @Khaleesi_Tess 4 роки тому +1

    I am about to start my master's degree studying abuse and aggression in teenage relationships, and hearing stories like yours reminds me why I'm doing this. I really hope that I can contribute to reducing the number of young people who experience manipulative and abusive relationships. So many people talk about not recognising the signs of an unhealthy relationship, so my focus is going to be on developing an education program that teaches the signs and how to respond to them.

  • @neumansown
    @neumansown 4 роки тому +1

    The German shepherds were super cute! Thank you!

  • @nsjames53
    @nsjames53 4 роки тому +3

    Congratulations on finding the strength to escape and moving on to create your new life!

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому

      You’re so kind - thank you!

  • @krlardie
    @krlardie 4 роки тому

    I'll keep this a little vague (for their protection), but two people very close to me have had to go through that process. I know how traumatic it was for me to watch it; I can't even fathom what they were feeling at the time, as it's just overwhelming. In one case, she came to terms with what was going on within a year, but the other took over 10 years to process, leading to failed relationships, strained family tires, and a major substance abuse problem. As such, we've tried to volunteer some of our time & resources to helping those in DV relationships. Many blessings to any of you who have had to endure the cruelty that other people can subject you to.
    Needless to say, this video resonated with me greatly.

  • @rileygrace1195
    @rileygrace1195 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for sharing, I admire how brave you are and appreciate your willingness to speak out about these topics!

  • @kat1722
    @kat1722 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you for sharing jo, you are a beautiful and brave person.

  • @MandieZangora
    @MandieZangora 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you so much for the adorable puppy video idea! I’m pretty much bomb-proof when it comes to triggers but I have many friends and a ton of others who have been affected and are still affected by triggers and this idea is something I’ve never seen (and I watch a LOT of UA-cam) and is such a good idea ♥️ Thank you for sharing your story and spreading awareness about this subject as I know so many people who can relate and it breaks my heart. Sending you all my love and hugs from Nashville ♥️

  • @siwiusXM
    @siwiusXM 4 роки тому +1

    I also tried to file charges against one of my abusers but the result wasn't as positive. It really is incredibly draining and demeaning and I didn't even get to the point of showing up in court. The justice system is so heavily weighed against victims and it's honestly disgusting. It's like being victimized all over again, if not because of the trauma you have to explicitly retell then because of the barrage of skepticism and mistreatment.
    That being said, it's good to hear that you were able to find the success and protection you needed. I know that struggle of trying to accept what happened as abuse and it's something I still struggle with today, but it's inspiring that you were able to overcome this.

  • @Kim-xg7db
    @Kim-xg7db 4 роки тому +3

    I've gone through something very similar. Thank you for this.

  • @jamielauro2623
    @jamielauro2623 2 роки тому

    Watching your taboo Tuesday on a Saturday and I am loving it !!!

  • @maxinecalyptus1639
    @maxinecalyptus1639 4 роки тому +3

    Firstly, thank you for being willing to share this for the first time. It breaks my heart that you got this security only because he didn't show. So much internet love to you ❤ I always really appreciate the alternative video options if content is too triggering, I have made use of it at times.

  • @dianem.kramer9558
    @dianem.kramer9558 4 роки тому +1

    I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that!! You have gone through a lot and I admire your strength!!! I too have gone through domestic abuse bug it was not as drastic a situation as what you went through. It does allow me to relate to your having to get the restraining order and all the things that are associated with that. God Bless you and your family and your strength!!!! Take care!!!!!

  • @The_Simstress
    @The_Simstress 3 роки тому +1

    I was in this exact situation, years ago. I couldn’t go through with it and I commend you for your bravery. ❤️

  • @meganlovesdisneyandcrafts4780
    @meganlovesdisneyandcrafts4780 4 роки тому +3

    Joe, i love you and support you 100%. Saw this title and wanted to see if you were ok. Unfortunately i had to go the german Shepherd route because while not me, just a little too close home. ❤️

  • @MyStrangie
    @MyStrangie 4 роки тому +2

    Thank you for telling your story ❤️

  • @paulpratty614
    @paulpratty614 Рік тому

    ❤it takes time even when you think u got them gone it will always be on the back of your mind thinking will they try again it plays mind games for a long time I am glad you. Got through. It god bless you jo ❤

  • @SunflowerSpotlight
    @SunflowerSpotlight 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for sharing your story. Thank goodness the officer told you about his record, and that he HAD various incidences reported. I think hearing stories like this is so helpful for people. Knowing that it happens is almost... reassuring in the worst way. It’s like me being relieved when another chronic pain patient in the area is having an achey day too; it’s not just me, it’s the environment. I think we tend to blame ourselves so harshly. If a friend was in the same situation, we’d be so supportive, but somehow we don’t extend ourselves the same courtesy and, well, grace. We can be merciless in our self-judgement. Having trauma less otherized seems to reduce that tendency a bit.
    One thing that didn’t get me out of a bad situation, but that kept coming back when I was downgrading myself and negging my accomplishments or self-worth, or being ridiculously grateful and happy for some small kernel of affection or approval, was one thought. “Don’t go where you’re tolerated. Go where you’re celebrated.” I had to believe that someone somewhere would think I had worth, and be RIGHT. And that by staying where I was, I was robbing that wonderful person and myself of a lot of happiness if I continued to stay while things got worse.
    It was like... the color of my life was being drained away and soon I’d be this greyscale anemic version of myself, the version he liked better, approved of. The one that never embarrassed him and knew the difference between being beautiful and sexy and never attempted to be either.
    I finally realized that it was so much better to be alone, even alone forever, with no one ever celebrating me, than to fight so hard to just barely be tolerated. That idea got planted and he didn’t realize it, but that’s when a clock got put on our time together. After that, every little cut he made, every shot of ice he sent through me, every time he darkened the doorway, he gave that little seed of an idea more fuel to grow. It took root, and on the strength of his venom, it flourished. And just like that, after years of dogged acceptance, it was time to go and be celebrated.

  • @katharinalovepeace3588
    @katharinalovepeace3588 4 роки тому

    Look how brave and strong you are 😍
    I m glad you made it and so happy for your success

  • @BethCoppard15
    @BethCoppard15 4 роки тому +1

    I’ve been through something with a controlling and manipulative man, not as bad as your situation but it still took me over a years to process and I’m still understanding it. I’m going to get counselling soon so it doesn’t affect my future relationships. I’m so encouraging to see you in a happy loving relationship. Thanks for this video! X

  • @tammykentopp8660
    @tammykentopp8660 4 роки тому

    You are very brave! Thank you for sharing! You are NOT alone!!

  • @ornjtopaz
    @ornjtopaz 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for sharing Jo!

  • @leaspeer3323
    @leaspeer3323 4 роки тому +13

    I was glad to see you had a fuzz baby near you while talking about this hard topic.

    • @sweetcanada17
      @sweetcanada17 4 роки тому +1

      Those are the best along with their slobbery kisses 🥰

  • @best3189
    @best3189 4 роки тому +3

    Swaetest hugs in the world for this video☺️
    Thx.

  • @Haybails720
    @Haybails720 4 роки тому +2

    So proud of you Jo! The legal system rarely believes abuse stories and it takes courage to report that. Such a strong woman❤️❤️

  • @taranelson5269
    @taranelson5269 4 роки тому +2

    I love your channel Jo this one meant alot to me not only am I going though the process of amputation btk but iv been in a abusive relationship every way he abused me I did not have the strength at the time or now to press charges but the police told me to stay clear of him that he is a bad guy. I take peace in the fact that I have an amazing partner now and that other girls have pressed charges love what you do here Jo, your an amazing woman!!!

  • @TwitchyMoth
    @TwitchyMoth 4 роки тому +1

    Thanks for the TW. Like. Really big thanks.
    Hope everything went well in the end.

    • @maxinecalyptus1639
      @maxinecalyptus1639 4 роки тому

      I was able to listen to the end and it did go well! Long story short, he didn't show for court so Jo automatically was granted a permanent and forever restraining order

    • @TwitchyMoth
      @TwitchyMoth 4 роки тому +1

      @@maxinecalyptus1639 oh, thanks for letting me know ^-^.
      Thats great.

  • @just_another_account8089
    @just_another_account8089 4 роки тому +7

    I left my ex after almost 9 years. I didn't realize how emotionally abusive it was and how much he held me back. I dont even think he realized how bad he is. Thankfully no issues so far and I'm so happy. If you're not happy think about why that is and what can change. Thanks for sharing your story!

  • @ariannameeks5435
    @ariannameeks5435 4 роки тому +17

    Wow really sorry u had to go through that, but you’ve grown SOOO much! U are an amazing strong woman! U inspire me so much to keep pushing no matter what I go through! Love u!!

  • @johnthomas2485
    @johnthomas2485 4 роки тому +38

    I was in law enforcement for 11 years. At the time of the following incident, I was working in Kansas. It's a bit of a long story, but it's pertinent here.
    One night I found a vehicle at hotel that was stolen in a robbery (car jacking). We determined what room, and for ed entry and arrested the two adults, male and female. There were also two children in the room. Male had a pistol with him, but we took him into custody with no problem. We take everyone to the jail, kids get turned over to SRS (child services). The man was found to have several felony warrants for robbery (other than the car), assault, and sexually assaulting his daughter (not the one with him then).
    The woman waived her rights and cooperated. When I interviewed her, she told how the male had robbed a car salesman while on a test drive, and left him tied up in the wood. The old man is honestly lucky he lived, as it was cold when it happened. After listening to all this, and how abusive he was to her, I pretty much read her the riot act. I told her flat out he was going to kill her eventually, as he'd told her he had no intention of being taken alive. I released her, she had family come get her and the kids.
    Now to the more pertinent part. I had to go back and testify at the robbery trial where the vehicle was taken. The woman, early 20's, was there testifying for the prosecution. She had cut contact with the male, and was dating a good man by this time, al ost a year later. She was scared to confront him in court. We spoke some, and she thanked me for saving her life. I just encouraged her to be brave and go in there and looking him in the eye, he couldn't hurt her anymore.
    She came out a changed woman. She'd gone in nervous, and he tried to intimidate her by staring. It pissed her off. She saw him sitting there and KNEW he couldn't hurt her again. How pathetic he was.
    So yes, going through the criminal justice system is hard. Yes, it doesn't always work the way it should. But look the bastard in the eye and tell the truth.

    • @ward9
      @ward9 4 роки тому +1

      Knew* missed the k it's really triggering my ocd please fix it. Great story btw.

    • @SomeYouTubeGuy
      @SomeYouTubeGuy 4 роки тому +2

      @@ward9 Your ocd missed the other 2 missing letters???

  • @Momc2k
    @Momc2k 4 роки тому +2

    I was 14. I never got help or justice. However he moved from Illinois to New York and was arrested there for assaulting his 12 year old niece. Now he lives in Missouri and I check his location every 6 months or so through the registry. I'm 41 now. Thanks for sharing your story.

  • @nat-iy8np
    @nat-iy8np 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing Jo

  • @kd4tgc
    @kd4tgc 4 роки тому +6

    Jo
    Constant emotional pain can cause physical pain. I loved seeing your pup know you needed extra loves, and sometimes it's OK to suffer feline or k9 paralysis. Even tho we want to do other things.

  • @cardboardrob1
    @cardboardrob1 4 роки тому +4

    I.m so sorry you or anyone had to go through this. Anyone needing help with this type of situation please ask for help. God bless you.

  • @alexandragatto
    @alexandragatto 4 роки тому

    It hurts my heart so much to think anyone would hurt such an obviously kind, sweet, wonderful person. Glad you are safe and loved now Jo

  • @karenannoyed153
    @karenannoyed153 4 роки тому +1

    Footless Jo ! I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. But I'm very glad you shared your process of gaining a restraining order. A lot of other people Ford / UA-camrs we just say they got one but

  • @billsmith9463
    @billsmith9463 4 роки тому

    Jo I’m so sorry to hear that you went through all the abuse that you went through. I Pray that you’re doing better now and that you’re able to put the abuse that you went through behind you. Stay strong 💪

  • @laurenelizabeth370
    @laurenelizabeth370 4 роки тому

    It’s so insanely encouraging that you talk so candidly about your experience. Thank you for sharing your experience 💕 I’m so proud of you!!!!!!!!

  • @baieeleaf
    @baieeleaf 3 роки тому

    Thank you for taking about this. As a “survivor” myself I know it’s such a difficult decision to make. I’m so proud of you for being able to do so. I know a lot of us are not able to but it’s stories like this that give us at least some of of the courage to do so. I wish I was able to now, but maybe one day I can..

  • @allennawright1394
    @allennawright1394 4 роки тому +14

    As always your puppy is adorable ❤️

    • @FootlessJo
      @FootlessJo  4 роки тому +3

      Aw thank you so much, Allenna!

  • @blueshadow130
    @blueshadow130 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story ❤️ your videos are always inspiring and uplifting

  • @marybelle
    @marybelle 4 роки тому +2

    There is so much wrong with the system. I am so proud of you for having the courage to push through and get the restraining order. It takes strength to leave and even more strength to protect yourself. The system the way it is, is one reason I never reported my attack. There are other reasons too but that was a big one.
    Love you, Jo! This was a great video!

  • @PghFlip
    @PghFlip 4 роки тому +1

    We Love you Jo! Thank you for sharing!

  • @billfish8843
    @billfish8843 4 роки тому +1

    Thankfully, I've never had the impulse to stalk anyone. This is good in part because I'm much to lazy to do all the stuff that would come with it! Glad to see you were able to deal with it and can now give excellent advice on the topic.

  • @Squidgyy_
    @Squidgyy_ 4 роки тому +5

    Didn’t expect a video like this on your channel.
    Good job pulling through the situation.

  • @amiewhitlock
    @amiewhitlock 4 роки тому

    😱😱😱 that's so terrifying; I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. I hope that you are feeling safe now from that degenerate predator

  • @422SAPD
    @422SAPD 4 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing this story. I just found your channels and am excited to go through your videos. I have had trauma in my past as well. I developed PTSD and became a shut in for many years. Then I was blessed with an amazing puppy who is now 6 years old. During her obedience training classes, the instructor commented that she was very in tune with how I was feeling, even as a pup. She had trained service dogs in the past and picked up on my “tells” and noticed that Katy, my pup, was able to calm me. I had additional training with her and she is now an emotional support animal. Sorry for the story but I promise it’s relevant. Toward the end of your video, I felt you were becoming anxious about what you were talking about. 2 seconds later your pup reached out to comfort you, just like my Katy does for me. She seems to be gifted with the ability to read your emotional state and how to respond. As soon as you reached out to touch her after she put her head on your arm your entire body relaxed. I don’t know the laws in Colorado but you might want to see if there’s any training available around you to get your pup some specialized training. It was a life changer for me. She goes with me most of the time as long as animals are permitted. She’s not a service animal so there are restrictions, but you’d be surprised at the amount of stores and restaurants that have patio seating and allow behaved pets. Anyway, sorry for the long comment but your pup has a rare talent that may prove useful, even if you don’t need her outside the house. My Katy was trained to react to my flashbacks and try to bring me out of them safely, and can signal for help if necessary. Take care and God bless.

  • @detritusofseattle
    @detritusofseattle Рік тому +1

    I had a roommate once that tried to start a fight with another roommate while he was drunk. Guy was a nutcase in general, on drugs, and was a heavy drinker. Used to talk about being in the CIA. I got between him and this other roommate and said no, this isn't happening, just go back to your room. He decided to throw a punch at me. Hit me in the chest.
    It was kind of like a cartoon, honestly. I looked down at where he had hit me, as it didn't even hurt (though it did bruise up a bit a few days later) and then at him, and just instinctively hit him back. I hit him hard enough to throw him back. Then I told him "this is your last warning to back off. Go to your room." And he did. The police showed up, landlord showed up, and everyone told the cops what happened. He didn't get arrested, but was warned that if the police come out again he's going to jail. He had threatened all of us, talking about having a gun, etc. Police were useless.
    Me and the landlord went down to the courthouse the next morning and got a restraining order. That part wasn't too hard. We got a private meeting with a judge in their office, and they were friendly enough. The only thing they said about any kind of court appearance was that if the guy decided to contest it we would have to show up in court for a hearing. Actually getting him served was a nightmare, as he wasn't on the property when we got back, and when he showed up, the police never came when we called them. They came like a day or two later, and by that point the guy had already moved out of his own accord, wanting to avoid the landlord getting a formal eviction order (the landlord had told him that he needed to be out within 24 hours or he was going to go file for eviction because of his violent, drunken behavior and his drug use). The cops that came couldn't even serve the guy because they didn't know where to find him. Frankly, my employer at the time was better about it, as I had requested on the restraining order that the man be banned from my workplace too (didn't want to deal with him at all), and I showed that to HR when I went to work, and they made sure our security was aware that this may be an issue. They took it very seriously.
    Now after he left I never saw him again, thankfully, but what if I had? What if the guy had decided he wanted revenge and showed up at the house? What if he had shown up at my work? Sure, I got the restraining order against him, but it's not been served and the cops wouldn't take the situation seriously enough as it was. I can't even imagine being a single, disabled woman who was assaulted and having to deal with all that crap.

  • @user-tl5fi9lz9z
    @user-tl5fi9lz9z 4 роки тому +1

    You are brave for sharing that.

  • @meganm9178
    @meganm9178 4 роки тому +2

    I’m so proud of you, it’s hard to deal with this kind of trauma and you’re amazing❤️❤️

  • @lottiemundy3826
    @lottiemundy3826 4 роки тому +7

    I’m really sorry that you had to go through this.😔

  • @NomadicElfling
    @NomadicElfling 4 роки тому +3

    okay soooo i love how you’ve not only given a trigger warning, but also put cute videos in the description 🥰

  • @cjmccullers
    @cjmccullers 4 роки тому

    Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you’re safe 💜

  • @sherryware
    @sherryware 4 роки тому +3

    So sorry you had that experience. I live with the repercussions of one, too. I wish with everything in me that I had never told anyone because now I have been accused of lying and been rejected by my family. I wasn't even allowed to attend my dad's funeral in October. I'm glad things turned out well for you, but I don't think that's the case for so many others of us.

    • @eastlynburkholder3559
      @eastlynburkholder3559 4 роки тому +1

      You were called a liar. Maybe your actions will help some one else one day.

  • @christesta2521
    @christesta2521 Рік тому

    How dare this person hurt and violate you. Im glad you got a restraining order. I tealize this happened three years ago but still Jo as always be safe.

  • @Tobikoyum7
    @Tobikoyum7 Рік тому +1

    I was gonna say- he must've had a fairly prolific history if they granted a permanent restraining order because I don't think it's even available as a possibility in most cases. Hopefully it's either changed or is changing with more awareness of predatory behaviors.